His Wife Stormed Off Financial Audit
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- To watch episodes of Financial Audit a week earlier, check us out on YouTube. What's your criticism, lady? - I didn't like how things were handled in that episode. - What? - Just like the way that you approached and handled their situation. - Are you able to say anything of any relevance or are you just gonna say broad terms? - I'm just letting you know that if you do that, that's not cool. - Any more criticisms not backed up by reality? You're bringing such dark energy to Financial Audit.

And this is Financial Audit.

Damn, Austin should have built the Iron Dome. Okay.

Well, thanks for coming in, guys. I really appreciate it. So let's start with you, Alexis. You're the one right in front of me. What do you do for a living? I currently am immigrating into the States from Canada, so I legally cannot work. An immigrant to Palestine. Now, this is a one we've never heard of before. I'm Canadian. So I'm Canadian by birth. I lived there most of my life. Came down to the States for school. Worked my ass off in Canada to get to an international school.

Um, when I was originally coming to, why are you trying to go full red, white and blue? There just wasn't a lot of job opportunities there. And it seems like a pretty important part of living. Yeah. Um, what do you do?

I wanted to be a kinesiologist. Okay, so what's your immigration status right now? Are you guys married? Yes. Okay. I came in under a student visa. So you've applied for a green card? Yes. We're in the process. So a little 90-day fiancé, but from Canada. Yeah. Usually it's better than the typical 90-day fiancé locations, but I get it. I met him after I wasn't able to go back to school due to funding issues.

Funding as in you didn't have money? Yeah. So my family moved down with me and we were able to get a loan to continue my second semester. Yeah, that's brutal. It is what it is. And international, it's usually a little more expensive anyway. So it's definitely a moneymaker for schools, that's for sure. And you, I guess you have to be the...

Uber breadwinner of the house with this situation. So Colt, what do you do? Well, I do computer engineering stuff. I build websites, cybersecurity, and I just got out of the military a year ago. Okay. I have to ask a disability forever question.

I mean, I think once we pay off the house and we... Do you have a disability? Yes. Okay. Well, let's comment in from that. Of course you do, because there has not been one veteran in the history of this entire show that has not been on disability for the rest of their life. Go on. What do you make from that? From the VA, it's about four grand. Yeah. Okie dokes. And what do you make in your computer engineering, science, something? It's before it's like 45. Comes home around like...

Okay, 3,000. How'd you guys meet? Did you cheat on someone with her? No. That's how it usually works. Does he have game? I mean, he pulled me, so...

Okay, so what are we talking about, guys? What are we talking about? House living in Palestine offers $7,000 a month. Not bad. Cheaper city of Texas. Very small. It's filled with old people. Everything shuts down at noon on a Friday. Yeah, that's not what I was asking. House living offers $7,000 a month. It's pretty good. I mean, the...

The house is at a good price and we have eight. You own the house? Yes. Okay. Good, good, good. And where are you on the wait list for green card? How long have you been waiting? What is it, a six to 12 month process? Well, the lawyer originally said that like it, the allocated time is 24 months. Yeah. But it goes a little quicker than that. Sometimes depending on like where your paperwork is in the line. And you? And. How long has it been?

So we put in the paperwork officially. Last year? It was February. And we have an interview coming up next week. And then two to three weeks after that, we'll get a green card. How long were you guys together before you got married? Like eight months. Something like that. Okay. But that was like... It was very situational. Yeah, you...

I was not using him for a green card. Let's get that straight. Because I was getting out of... I am not going to be putting that box. I was living with her out of the barracks. I don't know if we could get you in a box. And so like to make more money to not have to worry about like the barracks and food and all that, I lived with her. And so trying to... We got married in hopes that like we could get her registered so we could make more and get her on insurance. Ah.

Through the army. So you had to get married to get more money from the military. Yeah, and then I could also get into... It wasn't the prime reason, but it was a big push. As well as getting me situated with the military insurance and stuff like that. I love paying more taxes. Thank you. I appreciate your...

My taxes. Okay, so again, what the f*** are we talking about? Please? Well, you know, with her green card status and her getting a work visa, we're kind of on the fence about if she should work or not. We're on the fence? Are we disagreeing? Yes. Disagreeing. He's on one side, I'm on the other side. So, okay, we're not on the fence. We're on either side of it. Gotcha. As you were at one point. Honey, I came here legally.

The existence of offense does not make you illegal. I mean, if she came across illegally, we'd have way more money. Okay, okay, okay. Guys, okay, so what are we disagreeing about? I don't want to be put in the box as a lonely housewife or a bored housewife. You and boxes. You're a cat.

Yeah. But like I want to be able to provide for our family in some financial way. Do we have kids? No, not yet. But we have fur babies. Okay. So you want to be able to provide, i.e. go to work? Is that what you're saying? Yeah, like I want to. Which makes me think that you're saying, oh, no, no. No work for you. Well, I mean, on my side, I believe that like there's more to the like providing to the family than finances. He's a trad. Yeah. You've married a trad.

But you don't want to be trad. No. You don't? Okay. Seems like an interesting marriage to have been made because that's kind of a relatively important thing as in like how we live together and exist together as a couple. But like our personalities mesh well together and he won't like stop me from doing something like...

What's your pushback then? What are you doing? How's this conversation going? I mean, it goes back and forth. Some days it's, you know, we're looking for a job for her. Other days it's like, you know, it's easier for her to help with the animals and like, especially later on when we have kids. How many f***ing animals do you have? Six? Nine? What was your position in the military? I was a calibrator. Does what? Calibrating equipment. Right. Okay.

Okay, so gotcha. Now, obviously, more income always helps. However, like, again, $7,000 for Palestine, right? That's pretty chill. Yeah. As far as I know. So it's not like we need that. Obviously, if you want to work, I would rather you have work if you find purpose in that. Absolutely. Sure. But this isn't necessarily an income problem. So why are we so? Because clearly we're fucked and this marriage is starting off in a position. Who's bringing the debt? Who's not? Who's bad? Who's good? Who's what's happening? Yeah.

For me, I just want to have a purpose and I don't entirely appreciate the comments of the trad wife situation. In the end, he's not going to stop me from... No, I'm saying he prefers that. Yes, but... So you're not appreciating the reality of what he is literally saying? What the fuck are you talking about? What I'm trying to say is that he's not going to stop me if I want to work, but he's obviously going to voice his opinions and...

And with my situation... So what are you against what was said? Because that is what he wants. But I had watched this episode with a Somalian woman and the way that, like, you would kind of put her in, like, that immigration box. Immigration box? What do you mean? Like, just the way that you spoke to them. I.e., she's an immigrant? No, like, she was working and then she wasn't and then, like...

It's a very different situation for us. We were fiscally irresponsible and that's what we are here to try and fix. That is not how this conversation is going to go. Stop trying to control this. You little domineering freak. I didn't like how things were handled in that episode. What?

Just like the way that you approached and handled their situation. Are you able to say anything of any relevance? Or are you just going to say broad terms? You treated it like 90 Day Fiancé. Yes, because they were doing a 90 Day Fiancé K-1 visa. Just like the show. And I was not aware of that, but I just really didn't like how... It was talked about in the episode. If you're going to make commentary on the episode, maybe watch it.

I stopped watching halfway through because of the way that- Good! I love when we do research on a topic and only consume half the information. But the way that you treated, like, the guy was a piece of work, but like- What's your criticism, lady? You just were kind of rude to them. Like, I get that- Oh, as in literally three years of this show existing? Do you have the ability to look at videos? We upload three a week.

Three a day in terms of clips. Do you have the ability to click clack? I don't follow you. He follows you. So we're making criticisms without doing any proper research because I guess we're a moron. All right. So that's interesting. Any more criticisms not backed up by reality? All ears.

Not right now. Oh, okay. So no adequate information was able to be provided. Okay, so I was a little rude to them. I.e., literally, she watched an onboarding video where I say, I'm going to be rude to you. If you don't want to participate in this, it's okay. You don't have to. And then she's like, I'm going to do it. And now she's here, and I'm being a little rude. I came on the show to support my husband. So I guess the water supply is a little tainted in Canada. Yeah.

All right, so how is she supporting you? She helps take care of the home. I have a whole bunch of issues where I can't always do everything myself. And with me focusing on work, it allows an equal... But she doesn't want to do that. She wants to work us out of the house, which again, I am not against. I'm not opposed to that. I mean, that kind of is the separating point. I believe that

I'm able to bring enough money that she doesn't have to worry about going to a 9-to-5 that drains you. Yeah, but that's not why she wants to go to a 9-to-5. Do you not understand her point? Her point is that a lot of people find purpose in their work. A lot of people like to pursue a career out of ambition. A lot of people want to feel like they are bringing in money because it's a part of our culture, it's a part of Western culture. Even in Canada where things are completely f***ed and there's been no productivity growth for four years, they still want to bring in money to support their households. So, I mean...

Do you not understand that? I mean, I understand that she wants a purpose, but I think that as time goes on, she'll see that her purpose is more than working a nine-to-five. I mean, we know what he's trying to say. You're saying her purpose is to give birth to your children and raise them. That's what you're saying without saying it. Not entirely. Come on. I mean, she's helping with the community, and she's a part of the church, and...

So there's definitely different avenues she has. Okay. So we visit the mosque constantly. Got it. That's okay. Good, good, good. I'm glad you guys are supporting the community or something. You can still do that and work. Are you saying she can't do those things and work? I mean, it's going to be easier for her if...

Working minimum wage jobs for a while, it makes you realize that it's not fun. And if it's something that you don't have to worry about. But that's up to her. She can stop if she doesn't like it. And this gives her more flexibility with her stronger income. Half of it due to disability. But stronger income, it gives her the flexibility where she doesn't have to rush into a job. She can wait until she finds a job she wants.

I'm not saying she has to go put the fries in the bag. Another issue too is she doesn't have a driver's license yet. So I'd have to drive her to work every time. She could Uber, right? I mean, out in the woods, probably.

How far of a bike ride or scooter would it be? I mean, it's like seven miles to town, so. Okay, okay, okay. That was just to the gas station at the end of the road. And how far is your commute? I work from home. Okay, so you have a little bit more flexibility. My commute's like from the bed to the office. So I think you have a bit more flexibility. You can probably take her if she wants to. Why are you so set on you determining what she's doing?

I mean, I have my values and I respect hers. I'm not going to support her, but I feel like that... It seems like a pretty big divide. What are your thoughts on this? Because I know you've married this. And it's not bad if both are aligned, but you're not aligned on this. I mean, if I want to work, then he's going to let me work. But right now, like... Yeah, he clearly won't be happy about it, though, is the thing. Which is, you know, a problem. Yeah.

Like a lot of the work I'm doing right now is volunteer based work. And I really enjoy doing that because I'm helping the community in a way. Yeah. And if I wanted to work, like there's some opportunities in the town, but I think like he just doesn't want me to work like at,

Yeah, I mean, we'll just have to see what lines up.

This is weird, guys. You guys are weird. You came in kind of like a bitch and then you're coming in and you're not allowing her to leave the house? She'll do it anyway because she's persistent. Stubborn. Stubborn. Tenacious, I prefer.

Fair enough. That's a good one. But like the volunteer I'm doing right work where I'm doing right now, that's like taking up a lot of my time can go somewhere. Like, it's not like I'm just like doing it because I have nothing to do. Like I shot, shoot my shot with this company and like,

They looked at my work. They said, I'm not getting paid for it, but I am helping them. This could go somewhere. There's been conversations about it going somewhere once we transitioned. I can't say a lot about it right now, but it is a movie. They're working on getting my name in the credits.

Because I'm helping them with a lot of the background media stuff. And I guess that just gets put on your IMDB? Is that what we're talking about? And then, like, my stepdad also owns an auto shop. So, like, I create an Instagram. In Palestine? No, in Georgia where the rest of my family lives. But I create an Instagram account with that and I help them manage it. So, like, a lot of that, I have a lot of social media and, like, background experience with that. Okay.

Lindsay is shitting on you right now. Never mind. No, she's being okay. She just said, ooh, you created an Instagram account. Whoa! Okay, great. Social media management. I created all of the posters and posts behind it. I do a lot of the social media management for that auto shop.

How many followers does it have? It's a newer account because I had to create a new one. Can I see it? Yeah, if I can find my phone. I moved on products. Oh, she's a Disney adult. I am not a Disney adult. Did I see Disney stuff on that backpack? It's Stitch, but I'm not a Disney adult. Oh, they're telling me your honeymoon was booked for Disney. That fell through. No monies. Okay. Do I see four posts?

I literally created it like a month ago. Four posts in a month? They're telling me that you disagree with me on some big things. I mean, there's certain items in life that kind of sucks that they're expensive, but what joy do you get if you live out of a cardboard box making a whole bunch of extra money? Did I say live in a cardboard box? No, the auto one.

But your one that you were bragging about has like 39 followers. It's an open account, but I don't... But if it's to brag about building a social media presence, right? Because if that's what we're using to get a future job, I'm not bullying you on that. We can't use it as a resume piece. Yeah, I know, but like that... Can I see the other account? Yeah. So what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, it's expensive to buy a foreigner, but...

I don't know. The old Instagram account that got locked out had a ton of posts on there. This one I'm trying to rebuild and get all the followers back from the old account, which is taking way longer than I thought it would. I've had 156 page views this month. Okay, okay, okay. You've got to post a lot more than that. Lots of stories, lots of reels. Get on the algo game. What? What am I saying about cardboard boxes or whatever? You guys are obsessed with boxes. There's like...

certain life luxuries that are... Are you guys able to ever say any examples with any criticisms you have? Please, use an example or just say what you actually disagree. You guys are saying such broad things that have no... You talk about door dash, right? Door dash, yes. Some days it's easier to door dash things than it is to cook. Did I ever say it was harder?

No. So what's the argument? Because I never said that. I said you're a financial moron if you're in high interest debt, can barely afford to pay your bills, and you're spending $50 getting delivered dinner instead of $7 meal prep. Yeah, I would say that, but I never said it was easier. It's worth it sometimes. Not financially. Worth it mentally? Not physically. Worth it mentally? Maybe. But also not really because you're still financially stressed at all?

Yeah.

Guys, why the f*** are you on this show? To fight me with that? Come on, I'm good with a little combativeness, and I'm good with people calling me out on things, but my goodness, you sound like Reddit. You're not even bringing up good points.

You know, like I was talking to a guest, how we've talked to every single guest that they've consented to through multiple onboarding processes over three months. You think that getting DoorDash makes more sense than meal prepping when you're hanging this debt that is destroying your life?

You can't even bring up what you didn't like about me saying you can't bring up a good point. Why? DoorDash is better. Do you guys have anything here? You know, one of the examples is like you were talking about how it's cheaper to, you know, put a mattress on the ground and sleep on that instead of buying a bed.

Obviously, financially, yes, sure. But sometimes I need to have a new bed frame. It's situational. It's not one size fits all. I brought up how I focused on paying debt so I slept on an air mattress when I moved to Austin for a long time. Yes, if you have back problems, obviously maybe you can't do that. Nothing is one size fits all.

Look, private student loans can make it feel like you're one missed payment away from selling your grandma's heirlooms. I miss you, Grandma. Why are you fine, says...

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Anything else? Let's get back to yours. What did you not like me saying to her? You just looked at it literally like, I don't want you to look at me like I'm that couple. Like, I did not come here for a 90-day fiancé visa. I came here for school. What?

Okay, have I suggested? No, but I have been put in that box before. I have been... Why are you preemptively freaking out on me then? Because I'm defending myself and defending my honor and I'm not... But you're defending against something that hasn't been said. I'm just like letting you know that like that if you do that, that's not cool. Like you did that to them. Okay, yes, I get angry about things that haven't been done as well. I'm pissed at you for punching me later, potentially. That's very upsetting. I'm preemptively pressing charges. Okay.

I'm not opposed to this process. Also, 90 Day Fiancé is the name of a show. It's 90 days because in the K-1 visa, you get to come here for 90 days and then get married. That's not even a bad thing. I have been viewed like at school, my classmates were like, you're just here for like a green card through getting graduated. Were they joking? No, some of them were genuinely serious. Okay, well, they're being a c**t. And honestly, who even knows? If you are or not, it doesn't matter. But I don't want you to view me as that because you don't know me.

But also, I didn't view you as that. Not that. You're making something up in your brain that hasn't happened. What the f*** are you guys? This is the weirdest couple I've ever had on. And then you bring up a criticism of another episode out of fear for yourself, I guess. I don't even know. You didn't like how I was talking about her. They were very clear she was marrying for Visa.

I mean, that was as clear as the day, you know, as day. But that's okay. They can live whatever kind of life they want. I mean, it was very clear with the dowry and everything. It was weird. Are you paying a dowry? No. Then I'm not making that criticism. I don't know what you're on about. You're going to come on here and try that? So what are we doing?

All right, well, let's just jump into these finances. I want to hear at the same time. I'm going to go three, two, one. And on go three, two, one, go. I want you guys at the exact same time to give me what you think your household financial score is. So the entire household, zero to ten, zero being the worst, ten being the best. So three, two, one, four, seven ish.

I don't really know. Like, I'm trying to understand it, but at the same time... Zero being the worst, ten being the best. I'm trying to understand it, but I haven't quite gotten a grasp on all of it. Are we talking about... You mean the household finances? Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, that's interesting. Okay, well, I'm going to – okay, the discovery is up first, and I'd like more information on that. But if you guys want to get your financial score, make sure to take the assessment at calebhammer.com. You can also go to calebhammer.com slash apply and join us on the show here in Austin, Texas. Don't forget, if you don't want to be like – if you don't want to end up on this show, just download our Dollar Wise budgeting app.

app. Make sure you take the annual version. Take the free trial and take the annual version. I'll send you our budget-friendly cookbook signed by me, mailed directly to you, and join Dollar Wise Central, which is a program you can join where you can take all of our educational programs for a much lower price than taking them individually. We did that so more people could have access, so go to dollarwise.com.

Okay, so you don't have a lot of grasp on the finance. Again, I want to get into this discovery, but I need more information on that. What is happening? Well, I guess from your perspective first, why don't you have a lot of grasp on the household finances? I'm not super math smart, so looking at spreadsheets and numbers, it doesn't always make sense to me where this number is going to or why this number. I'm going to let you know out of the gate. I mean, I'm f***ing math s***.

I was in borderline, like on the edge of like, I could hear the next door when I was, you know, in math class. I was that close. Okay. So I'm very bad at math. Very bad at math. This is, this is elementary. I'm not saying that as an insult to you, but like, this is elementary.

You just got to look at it for 10 minutes and you get it because it just tells you, okay, here's the purchases that were made. Yeah, like I understand that part. Here's the interest that is happening. Okay, so what's the struggle? I've never like had a credit card to my name. So like I've never like actually had a credit card before. So like just understanding how like those can be a dangerous slope and trying to understand like what we might be using them for is where I'm trying to understand like why

What's your take here? You know, one of the hardest things with like having an immigrant life that's not all the way in yet is no banks. Why are you framing it? You're going to get

Why are you framing it as my fucking immigrant wife? My fucking foreigner bitch wife. Okay, sure. So she doesn't have a social, so none of the banks allow her to have accounts. So it's hard for her to get into it and actually see the numbers daily. Yeah, but she could just log in with the same bank information if you're willing to share it, which is your wife. Is she not willing to share it?

I mean, I could have it if I wanted to. She thinks you're a pushover, by the way, because anytime there's anything, she's like, I can just do that if I want. Are you a pushover? To a limit. Happy wife, happy life. Sure. What's the limit? All right. I will have a conversation with him before I do anything. Like, I won't just, like, go out and do it. But you'll do it regardless. Probably. Okay. But, like, if I...

Yeah.

Even though there's more debt that we can get than our credit card, but even still. It's all my debt. Why aren't you communicating effectively? Why aren't you explaining? Why aren't we sitting down going over a budget together? I mean, we have a monthly, if you want to call it that, a session where we talk about it. And how would you say that goes? How would you...

What would you say happens? Like with that, I plan like what groceries we would get. How do you plan it? Is it based on like how do you know what is left to do groceries? How do you know how much we can? So we do a lot of our shopping at Aldi because they have for certain things and it saves us a lot of money by doing Aldi shopping. I'm sorry. That doesn't answer the question. How do you determine how much money you're able to spend on groceries, though?

I obviously go into the pantry and look at what we have. And then he tells me, I'll tell him we need this stuff and he'll tell me we have this much money for it. Okay, so you are the one that essentially gives permission to spend money. Yeah. Why is it permission to spend money instead of being on the same page about what our financial situation is month to month and budget appropriately? I mean, I try to communicate it. Why does it fall on deaf ears? Why does that fail?

My brain goes to the worst case scenario, like the ship is sinking. Like that's what I've seen with my family financial history. Like growing up, like I only ever saw like conversation when it was bad. Yeah, same. So like that's all I really know. So my brain goes to like, like are we in like sunken ship territory? What are you talking about? One second, sorry. Hello? What?

Okay. Hold on. Hold on. Oh, no. No, we can't do this. No, we gotta talk. We gotta talk. We're lying. We're too lying. We gotta get you out of here. We gotta get you out of here. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

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Click the link. Join now. Let's make your money work and let's build a future that you actually feel good about. I'll see you inside. Okay, but you have the conversation. He's saying he tries to have the conversation and you just don't hear it.

Because most of the time my brain will be like, are we as bad as my brain is making it? What is your brain making it? Where do you think you are? Like under the water, sunken ship territory. How much debt does the household have? You, not you. How much debt does the household have? In what way? Get rid of the mortgage. How much debt does the household have, you two combined? We have the car payments.

Including the family members, apparently. I'm not sure. This is important. We should be on the same page. Especially if you want to be like doom and gloom, which I kind of understand. You should at least know what the doom is so you can gloom properly. I understand the basics of the plan he has and what he's doing. How much debt do you think the household has outside of the mortgage? Think. Just think. What do you think? What is your gut telling you?

I don't quite know. Come on, just gut. What's your gut telling you based on the conversations you had? Hit me. I have no idea. A number. A number. Come on. I'm not going to take an answer. Based on the conversations you have, what would you think it is? If you had to do your best guess, your best guess. Like 11. Okay. Okay. $43,000 of bad debt, high interest, bad debt or family debt, 43. Then there's, of course, the mortgage of 302. But okay. So we know what comes in.

What went out last month? $7,000 comes in. How much went out last month? What do you think was spent? This includes on debt. I'd like to hear from you. And then I would like to hear your answer. What do you think? I honestly don't know, like, right off the top of my head. So it just kind of makes sense that when he says that anything he talks about finance is just kind of, whoo! If we're going to be doom and gloom, you got to at least kind of have an inkling of the numbers, right? What do you think was spent last month? Best guess. $7,000.

Like, I have no idea. Best guess, dude. I don't know. Just based on any conversations you have, what you've witnessed, what do you think went out? Including debt payments, including, you know, everything. Just everything. If I had, like, something in front of me, like, I do best with paper, so... You just told me you did bad with that at the beginning. So, like, a few minutes ago. I'm a paper and pen person. Like, if I ever see it on a computer screen, then it's just, like...

Are you sure? Because I think you're a not answer the question kind of person. Just best guess based on the conversations you guys have had. He talks to you, to you, you don't listen. What do you think? $3,000. $3,000, okay. So $7,000 comes in, $3,000 gets spent total, even though your mortgage is probably close to that. Okay, and you? I mean, I think last month we had some

repairs or something so it's probably like seven five it's not like seven thousand five hundred okay it was seventeen thousand one hundred fifty nine dollars and three cents what the are we talking about yes that is doom and gloom because that is apocalyptic because that is bad that is ten thousand hours then comes in on a normal monthly basis ten thousand dollars more than comes home on a normal monthly basis

Come on, you're the one managing the finances. You're supposed to be the big guy, the guy who knows, the guy to talk to her. Owning a home is great. We had our septic tank go out within a few months of us owning the home. Good, then you shouldn't get a home unless you have a fully funded emergency fund. So we had to replace that. And while they were doing that, they nicked one of the AC lines. In total, we spent like $9,000 in repairs on...

On just the house? Expensive, but even still, let's say $9,000 just went to the repairs, which who even knows if that's what happened that month. We're going to find out. You still spent $1,000 more than came in outside of the repairs then, by your own math. We also had to buy a whole new bathroom set because the septic tank failed. So we had an inch of water in our tub. So, I mean, I don't know about you, but I don't like to use toothbrushes and shit.

It's in our procession.

Is it in your name? No. This is in your grandma's name? You put $7,000 on your grandma's name? Your grandmother? She allowed it. She's your grandma. What do you think she'd do? She's an old sweet lady. How old is she? 70s. Oh, how the f*** dare you?

That's disgusting. That is disgusting. Do they do that in Canada? That is disgusting. I mean, she believes that once she passes, all the debt disappears. Credit card, yes. But there's going to be certain things to potentially settle, especially in the state of Texas. If you're taking advantage of any assets she might have, are you expected to get any assets? I don't believe so. Okay, then you wouldn't have to worry about the settling. But someone else might that is going to get her assets.

So you're passing this on to someone else that you're probably related to, potentially. Are you having fun? You're just playing with your little ball there. Are you here? Like, what the f*** is going on? You're just looking down. Are you listening? Are you participating? Why the f*** are you guys here? Hello? I'm here. What am I doing here, dude? I mean, we're obviously here for a reason. Is she? Does she need to be here? Should I send her to the other f***ing room? Huh? Don't. I can't.

You're ruining my mood. You're bringing such dark energy to financial audit. Does she even know what she's doing right now? You're just being miserable to be around. All right, I brought you a proper American-style wife to sit in. He's a good bottom. So he'll play for you for now. Okay. Discover it. Again, this is what I tried to be on. I don't necessarily know how to...

She knows what show she's on, right? Yeah. Okay. Don't you? I know what show I'm on. Yeah. Well, your name's Alexis, so... Okay. So, on the Discover, what you put on your grandma... This is your grandma. Your grandmother has this.

Well, your grandmother, your grandma-in-law. She suggested it because that was the only short-term solution. We kind of had a long-term plan for it. Why'd you need this? Why'd you need this $7,078.90? Your cologne is very strong. Can't take it with you when you're gone. The cologne? No, debt to granny. Okay. Because we literally had...

sitting for months. We had to go walk to our cabin on our property. So your grandma had to do this? You should never get a house without a fully funded emergency fund. Why? This is the first gay male couple we've had, by the way. I'm very excited about it. I'm straight. You should never get a house without a fully. Why'd you do it? It's a lot easier to get into it now than it is because I didn't have to put down anything for the house. Great, and you

Great, you should still have a fully funded emergency fund. How does that change that? You should never get into a house which is going to demand repairs and higher expenses in many different ways, but you get the advantage of the market grows, you get an equity position, it's great. Why would you do this without a fully funded emergency fund? Look what it did. Now you're putting $70,000 on grandma. $70,000 on grandma. $7,000, sorry, on grandma. Yeah.

With the way that the housing market was at the time, it just made sense to get into it now rather than later. It just never makes sense again. Look what it's done! The house has gone up from $190... Yes, and now you're in deep credit card debt, and a lot of it is on your grandma. This is what happens when you buy a house without a fully funded emergency fund. It doesn't make any sense. Now, Alexis... Listen. Is this how Alexis acts when she's home? Because...

Like, honestly, she was fighting on everything for no reason. She was so defensive. She was nothing. Obviously, of course, we're a little goony for the show, sure, but it's like, we want to get through these statements and stuff. Is this how she acts in all the financial conversations? Sometimes, yeah. To be fair, Grandma's had twice as long to work. We should be able to pull from that fund. Do you agree with that? I mean, it's the situation we were in.

It was either that or we had to shower with the host. How do you interact with her, though? If this is how she is. Not this, obviously. This is a little bit of a bit. But before. I mean, it's just learning how to get the message across. What have you learned? Sounds like we haven't come to a conclusion yet.

that some things are more touchy than others. What's touchy? Apparently just the word immigration makes her go nuclear. Yeah, some words are more touchy than others, but it's just... She's an immigrant. That's not a bad thing. Yeah. But why does that word trigger her? Okay, well, either way. Okay, cool. So what about the finances, though? I mean, I try to tell her and involve her, but right now I'm in this position where a lot has changed, not financially, but like...

I expanded my debit cards into three to try and section money for where it goes. What does this have to do with communicating to her? But my budgeting app has gotten so out of sync. Why? Because it's changed so much. Sounds like he's not using the right one, okay. So I don't know, I'll put you guys through therapy sessions with Sound or mine. It's what I use, it's what I recommend the audience use as well.

You guys should use the Fizz credit card as well because, well, it's a debit card that builds credit. Fizz card. And I'll also gift her a course career certification so once she gets into the workforce, she can leverage it to land a good job. Those are the resources we're able to provide plus all of our educational classes and app. But there's discovery card again with the grammar. This is so fun.

Okay, so are you making the minimums on this? What's the plan? She's going to be living in the cabin that we have on our property. She makes the minimum out of security for herself and then whatever I can throw in and then I pay the bills for the cabin and then she puts that money towards the car. Why overcomplicate this? It's so weird. Just make the fucking payment. I'm working on it.

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I f***ing hope so, but that's not what I literally see in your most recent statement. Also, by the way, you know, when you guys were going out to eat, as you know, stuff like that, of course, which we know you did in here. But this credit card, grandma bailed us out. Grandma bailed us out. Grandma bailed us out in order to survive, to make the repairs. Oh, wait, we're going to McDonald's, Marshall's, Ross store, Infest WAP. Partial is for work. Partial is because we couldn't do dishes. Partial?

I didn't say partial. Oh, partial. So Ross Store and Marshalls is for work? I had to get a suitcase for work. So you had to go to two locations for a suitcase? The company reimbursed me for that and I put that towards it. Which one? You went to two. For both of them. Okay, and the McDonald's and PayPal and the Infest... No, Infest... Stop. Infest Away...

That was our pest treatment to get termite treatment around the cabin in our house. Oh, $737, so grandma covered all that. And mosquito stuff. It was the second thing, it was $500, but again, it was $7,000 of purchases. We got gas. Morgan Pottery? Pottery? It was for an appointment that we didn't have the money at the time to get this thing. M&M Worth Pottery?

Oh, that's to have the septic tank pumped. So we had to have it pumped before. Again, this is all grandma though. At 21.24% interest. So she's having to have that interest accrue on her life. I'm trying to pay as much as I can. Okay. Now kiss your wife, please. That's for later.

All right. Okay, Navy Federal. What's going on with this one? Because let me tell you, this one you did not put a big payment to. And we know why, because the last one was only grandma putting a big payment towards it. But whatever. Navy Federal Credit Union. On here, we owe five. Oh, my. Oh, you're over the fucking limit. Your hubby is over the limit. You're over the limit. $5,478 is what the balance is. You're over by $78.26. Yes.

Why? The interest is high on it. And minimum payments just barely make enough. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Hey, guess what? If you make your minimum payments, it covers the interest enough where it at least goes down. It wouldn't be above the limit. That's a lie. How about the $131.81 of purchases? Maybe that's what did it. Yeah. This is what you want to attach yourself to for the rest of your life? What's the point of having a card if you can't spend on it?

He's trying to be Alexis. Yes. Is that what she would have said? No. Oh, she would have said, oh, I'm an immigrant. I mean, it's what we had to do. Okay. It's okay. Thank you. Canada to America, very stressful. Biggest culture shock anyone has ever experienced. Okay.

So why the f*** are you purchasing on a card that you can already pay off that is accruing $79.55 in interest? Because I prioritize paying my bills and sometimes there's a bit of overlap. What? That doesn't make sense to me. Do you translate for him? I prioritize paying the bills that result in things getting shut off. Yes, because on here it's Amazon and DoorDash. What the f***, dude? No, that's not a joke. I know we're being silly. That's not a f***ing joke, though. Amazon and DoorDash pushing you over the limit? I mean...

Yeah. I mean, yeah. I had to buy some stuff. Yeah, pull up your Amazon for me then. I don't even remember what I got. I had to buy some stuff. Now that I'm going to see it, it's, well, I don't even remember. Minimum monthly payment is $133.55. $133.55.

Hey, buddy, how long does this take to pay off if you only make your minimum repayments and you don't purchase on it, which you still pull up your phone. That's not an excuse to put it away. If you only make your minimum repayments and you do not purchase, of which you are incapable of not purchasing. But how long does it take? Forever. How long does it take, do you think? I mean, it's probably like 10 years, 12 years. 21. Um...

going to use this year's tax returns to pay off a chunk of it. Why would you, what tax returns? What's your big chunk of tax returns? Why would you get something so big? Because putting her social... Your withholdings are insane? Huh? Because originally we were filing as just me because I only had the income coming in. But because immigration wanted us, the lawyers wanted us to have

evidence that I'm not filing a single where you put an extension on it. So now we should be getting back about two or three grand. That's not going to pay this off, buddy. That'll make it not above max. We got eye cups. It probably shows she can walk around and not see that she's in a different country so it doesn't terrify her. Cable splitters. You got...

More cable things, audio speaker wiring. Someone's doing a fucking project. AirPods 4, fuck you. Come on, you don't need that to survive. Memory foam ear tips. Travel backpack. Indoor outdoor cat thing. Large eyeglass cleaner.

A f***ing mount for our Apple TV. Come on. You're just getting so much bulls*** on here. So much bulls***. And then what's in our cart? Oh, $185 f***ing speaker. No. F*** off. No. I'm deleting it. Off. Off. Dude, you don't have money. You're maxed out on a credit card and you're using a tax return to f***ing even just get it below max. It's so stupid. I'd be careful touching that. An immigrant's been touching it. Listen. F***.

Why the f*** are we purchasing so much f*** from Amazon when this is over maxed out? And you have no hope of paying it off. It's the tax returns the only way and you're only getting something special because of her. Because I have house projects that... You don't get to do f***ing little wannabe projects and get AirPods and all this wiring and speakers. F*** those house projects. Those are house wants, not house needs. Getting the sh***. Yeah. Yeah.

That's a house need. This little speaker project and the little cat thing and the fucking, there's not needs. What? With the AirPods in defense though, is a... So you didn't have to hear her yap? No, because... Or is that what she wears when you try to talk about budgeting to her? Because we have enough of a cushion that some of those household luxuries are okay once. What are you talking about? You are over maxed out. What are you actually talking about?

Cushion are you talking about? Possibly. You spent $10,000 more than you brought in, Cushion. You're using your grandma's credit card, Cushion. F*** you, Cushion. F*** you, Cushion. How dare you even use that word? Legitimately, how dare you? That's disgusting. You're using your grandma's credit card and you're using the word Cushion? No, this is not funny. This is not f***ing funny. You're using your grandma's credit card.

And you used the word cushion with me. F*** you. That is some bulls***. What the f*** kind of man are you? That's disgusting. What do you have to say? That's f***ing bulls***. Oh, more DoorDash, by the way, and also the pharmacy. The pharmacy's fine, but you got Panda Express DoorDash. $312 of interest this year so far and a 17.24% interest rate. Yeah, what do you have to say? You only live life once. Good. Die, put it on everyone else around you. Damn right. American Dream.

You don't care about f***ing your wife when you die? She'll be set for life. Not for life-life. What do you have? Like $600,000 in life insurance. Okay, that's not for life-life. And she gets my VA retirement and my... That's for life, but even still, it's not going to be perfect. Other military benefits of like...

Set for life is millions, though. Come on. I mean, the house will be paid. All the debts will be paid. She'll be getting $500 in income every month. Whoa, $500. Look at you. You're set up for life. On top of that $4,000. Oh, my goodness. Set up for life. Look what she's doing. She's not able to survive as it is. You guys can't survive off of $7,000.

What are you talking about? I mean... 4,000 isn't insignificant, but you can't even survive on a 7. Also, only live once? F*** you. You're statistically likely to live a very long life. Not after the army did to me. I don't even know what that means. Has China invaded that I'm not aware of? I don't know. Okay, so listen. You are probably going to make it to your 60s, at least, right? Yeah, probably. Good. Dude, you're 23.

You've been out in the sun. Wear sunscreen next time. It's a hard 23. You got more than double your life left. You only live once, you're f***ing the rest of your life right now. And your only life once is getting Panda Express? That's a sad YOLO. The current American situation? Go on. You might have to educate me on that.

A majority, I mean, your show exists, so a good portion of Americans are barely making it by. Yeah, and this is your choice. You're getting DoorDash Panda Express. F*** you. You're not barely making it by because of the system. In fact, the system is only supporting you thanks to my taxes. You're welcome. Okay, so...

A little confused. You're going to use the system as an excuse? This is what it's like for every American? Dude, you're getting door dashed, spending $10,000 a month on your make, putting everything on your grandma, and you say YOLO. Fuck you. That's you. I mean, it'll all work out. No. There have been people that lose their house. There have been people that lose their cars. There are people that go through bankruptcy many times. There are people who die in poverty. That is incorrect. What the fuck are you talking about? I mean, I'll slowly be chipping away at it.

Says who? Says when? You are putting money on grandma's credit card. You are saying many things that have no basis in reality right now. There's just adjustment periods where you have to keep trying. What are you adjusting? Because your only adjustment literally last month was putting money on grandma's credit card. That's where you're headed right now. Where's your adjustment? Shift things around a little. What the fuck are you talking about, dude? You don't even know what you're talking about. That doesn't make sense. You're not doing any of that.

All right, let's bring her back in. Brandon's cologne's very strong. I smell good, don't I? No. All right, well, news. She's decided that she hates me. And she's not coming back on. So we're doing this solo, my friend. And you're going to have to try to communicate it to her. Okay. Which, good luck. Yeah. I don't know. What a mess. What a mess! Listen, how are you going to possibly...

I thought she was right. I totally did bring it up.

I mean, I trust her that she's not in it for just a green card. This is so weird. This is such a weird dynamic. Yeah, I mean, it's our dynamic. It works how we work it, you know? I don't know. We have a 50% divorce rate in this country, if I'm not mistaken, so...

I mean, we have our own struggles, just like... What are your guys' struggles? Because, listen, finances are one of the leading causes for divorce in this country. The finances are... We're incapable of communicating about it with each other. She freaks the... out, goes nuclear at all times. I mean, it's communication on both parts. Well, what communication? There is none. I witnessed it here. In between f***ing things. Before and after. The f***ing communication you talking about? I mean, obviously. Obviously.

But are you able to say more than two words, please? I'm sorry, but I don't know what you're trying to say. I'm like, we both are working on communication and finance. What are your struggles? You said you have struggles. Communication. Okay, well, I hope that you guys sort it out. I don't know. I was hoping...

This is such a weird episode, guys. This is such a weird episode. Okay, we have a Capital One. What's up with this? Because we're at $4,305.66. Minimum monthly payment, $57. You purchased $481. Oh, good. It's $5 over max. Well done. Interest charge, $14.08. 20 years to pay off. So two cards in a row. 20 years to pay off. What the fuck is going on? Why are we two cards above the limit? Does she even know that? Does she even know there's two cards above the limit?

No. Well, we have a break between this and the post show. We'll see if we can convince her to come on the post show and I'll fucking expose you, man. Why do you have two? Why is this above the limit? Why are you purchasing on again? It's not the interest. Interest sucks, but you would be going down. The balance would be going down slightly. You are over because you're purchasing. Because I'm putting too much money on the card to pay it off. And then I have to buy something.

don't when did you figure this out when did you figure out this magical uh oh we figured it out math isn't math then when did you learn this because you're doing it you're still i mean that's how i'm doing it no no you said you're putting too much on the card so you have to spend money on the credit card if you know this then why the are you doing it because there's a lot of stuff that happens in the time frame what

No, guy. Oh, my gosh. You are incapable of answering this question. The question is, you specifically have admitted that you put too much money on the credit card. So you have to spend money on the credit card. If you know that reality, then why are you still doing this? Because there's a lot of stuff that comes up that I forget about. Do not card then. Because I'm trying to pay it off. But you are self-admitting that it is not working. Oh, my gosh.

Oh my goodness, you are self admitting that it is not working. You are self admitting. You! So why are you still doing that part? I'm not saying the spending part. I'm saying why are you still putting that much money towards it? Towards it if you are self admitting that it is not working. - 'Cause I'm just trying what I can. - Oh my, what are you guys? Where are you perv-oldren?

What are you talking about? What the f*** are you talking about? What? What, buddy? That is not a f***ing answer. What is Virago Foxen Hair? I gotta keep my beard and hair looking good anyways. Well, so far no success. What would it be like without? At least I look better than your hair. No, buddy, you are receding to here.

I have a full head, my friend. Ha ha ha. I got a little patch here, but at least I'm trimming properly. What do you got going on? You got hair halfway up your neck. This isn't a battle you want to fight. So what is it? It's a treatment? You just need finesse, buddy. It's not even a sponsorship. And I know some people get soft from it. Personally, I would just be soft in general. That's what she said.

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Your future starts right now and Course Careers is here to help you shape it. Um, this is me, but, uh, right? Are you about to commit a mass shooting? I, well, I, I, like, what's... I'm trying to think. Yes, well, this isn't working. What is it meant for? What is it? Is it finasteride? It's for getting my hair done. Getting your hair done? And trimmed. It's a subscription to trim your hair?

No, it's a... You got a razor? No. What is this? Going to a hair salon. Okay, thank you for f***ing sake. You made it sound like it was hair treatment. No. I don't f***ing know. You got neck pubes. I don't know what's happening. Do you, game? Yes. You give us a bad rap, man. It's not fair. A lot of interest is accruing, of course. And you got a subscription, lots of Aldi's.

O'Reilly, Walmart, lots of Walmart, lots of Walmart. Some bulls**t purchases at Walmart if I had to guess, to be honest. 4% interest, why is it at 4%? You're lucky it is. That doesn't give you an excuse to f**k this. Not to plug the military, but... Plug away. The SCRA helps it to make it 6%. Anything that is existing before you join makes it come down to 6%. So this existed before you joined? Yeah.

That's nice. I mean, that's a good benefit. That's not one that milks the taxpayer. Most cool companies will bring it down to four, but the legal limit is six. Okay, and they brought it to four, so they were good. No, I love that. I love the vast majority of benefits. And I do have to say, especially since I made fun of it in this episode, and I have to mention this in case you're a first-time viewer, I'm totally good with military disability. We have an interesting fact that we've discovered in the show where...

Every single, literally, we get veterans every other episode almost, maybe every three episodes. There has not been one veteran in the entire three years of the show, many of whom never actually went overseas or actually did anything or whatever. One of them was even just a cook who are on borderline full disability for the rest of their life. This takes up 2% of the federal budget. 2% of the federal budget, just that alone, which is chunky. It's like $500 billion a year or something.

So I'm not against it. It just seems like, uh-oh, there might be something wrong, especially since there's services out there that you can go to and they help you sell your disability to the VA to get your disability. They literally coach you on how to get it. Yeah, something's going on. But I'm not against it as a concept. And I'm certainly not against the 4% thing.

Again, even though it's a 4%, that doesn't give you an excuse. I feel like that is giving you an excuse. It's giving you an excuse, even though it is not adequate, to then just go spend the money on there. Like, yes, get your hair cut, buddy. I'm all about it. Chop, chop, chop. You know? You're going to be giving it up soon anyway, so enjoy it while you can. And at that point, just don't put it on a credit card. Well, I've got to make payments on the credit card. What?

Whatever's left of that big payment goes towards it. It goes towards what, the haircut? It goes towards the credit card. Buddy, let's speak in complete sentences, please, so I can at least fully understand what you're saying. Are you the Riddler? You make larger payments, and because you make larger payments, you can't put as much onto debit. So let's not make larger payments.

Please share another riddle if you must. But it makes a minimum payment. Okay. I don't know what you're saying. What makes a minimum payment? But it? Who's it? What? The big payment you make. And then whatever's left goes towards the minimum payment. And it makes a larger payment. Oh. Okay. Let's do this one. Oh, it's over the limit. Who'd have thought? Three in a row. Quicksilver.

What's going on with this one? Take two. What's going on with this one? Take three. What's going on with this one? Okay, I thought you were going to make me get to number four. A general purpose card. A JP card? General purpose. We have a general purpose card? Like if I'm short on something. What do you think a credit card is to you?

Stop gap? General purpose? Stop gap? You've already f***ing jumped the gap. You're over the limit by $13.36 to 72 cents. General use? General purpose? You're over the limit. What purpose is general? Groceries and bills. DoorDash and PetSense. We got pets. We got a lot of them. It's not groceries and bills. It's a responsibility. Sure, ain't groceries and bills. DoorDash.

Those were the two purchases on there. There were not any utility payments. There were not any groceries. What the f*** are you talking about? General purpose is door dashing? You and your wife are not going to make it. I don't even know if you're going to be able to make a home. I'm surprised you guys made it up the stairs into the studio. What the f*** is happening, man? This is crazy. None of this makes sense. Nothing you're saying is making sense. $2,036.72. $2,036.72.

The minimum monthly payment... You purchased $212. F*** off. $69 minimum monthly payment. 13 years to pay this off. So the 28.99% interest rate. So I assume you opened this after the service or in the service. How long has this been open? Only like a year. That's overmatched, though. Do not make insignificant money. Why are you spending so much? Yes. Yes? The f*** are you talking about? Okay. I think he's shutting down, ladies and gentlemen. Okay. Okay.

I don't know what to do. What have you been spending money on in the last year? Let's try that one. Stuff for the house. Which is DoorDash. Which is like furniture and utensils and stuff for the dogs, if you want to classify it that way. Which is why I saw DoorDash McDonald's and bullshit purchases, right? Yeah. Oh my gosh, are you here? Guy, you're...

Maybe you guys are perfect for each other. I ain't a joke, man. Bullshit food is $1,089. That's furniture? Going out to eat is furniture? Take two. Going out to eat is furniture? I mean... Right, okay. Don't even try. I don't want to work you too hard. $781 in miscellaneous bullshit. I forgot he's on a podcast. Yeah, it's stuff for the house. Miscellaneous bullshit.

I am so close to giving up. If we weren't this far in, I would honestly be walking away right now and not wasting my time with this bulls**t. But we're almost done. You told me your dad's a fan of the show? Yeah. And this is how you're going to be seen. I hope you enjoy it. Congratulations. What is this personal one for, dude? For the wedding. Oh, for f**ks sake, what did you guys do? I mean, we had a...

A small wedding. How much? I mean, I put in like four or five, so it came close to 12. And that includes like the travel there. But you don't have that. The travel there? The travel where? To Florida. Why? Because it's a special spot to her. Florida? Special? Other than her? Where her friends buried.

Oh, her friend's buried in Florida? Did she tell me that earlier? I know she went to Florida and the school thing happened. Honestly, I had a hard time listening to her. Okay, so let's get married where a friend is buried? She has some ashes scattered in that spot. Spoiler alert, they're not there anymore. Okay, I can say that because she's not sitting in front of me.

Okay, sure, that's fine. Then you just have to go cheaper and smaller. It didn't take $18,000 to get to Florida. Did you pay for other people to get to Florida? No. Where in Florida is this? It was over by Melbourne Beach. Metro area? No. It was in a metro area. What? Over by FIT. What city is that in? Melbourne. Okay. Okay.

Why did it cost 17? Because you guys are just getting... You just need to get married to close the deal so she can stay here legally and start her green card process. Not that she's here to get a green card. Oh, don't kill me, lady. But, you know, that's...

We obviously wanted to speed the process along so that she can get a work permit and all that good stuff. It was closer to $1,215 because of the catering and getting all of these. So why did we need to do all that? We did not need to do this. If you need to have a destination wedding and we're doing this to move this along quicker, then you need to do this on the cheap. You didn't have $12,000. You were maxed out beyond maxed out. When was the marriage?

Well, we got... When was the marriage? We got married in February, but we had a ceremony in May. If you already got married, you don't need to do this half of the ceremony. Ask her. Well, I would, but she's a pussy. Okay, so we took out a personal loan at what percent interest? It was like seven or six because my mom works at that bank. Can't do anything without grammar, mama, huh? Great. What's your minimum monthly payment on this?

Looks like 230.51, yeah? Yeah. I pay 275. Why? What's your strategy there? It doesn't make any sense. That's not avalanche. That's not snowball. I put money onto the checking account, every paycheck, and 275 goes to that loan. 275 goes to my mom. Okay. Okay. Whatever. Tower loan, what is this for? This is for the bed frame. Oh, my fuck, you guys. You guys, you animals. You animals. You animals.

money you absolute tit you did not make insignificant money you don't need to finance a bed frame we needed it right then and there because our previous one broke thank anyone gotta use the bed on facebook marketplace it was for my back for my sleep apnea you got the app yeah oh buddy you still make a significant amount of money if you weren't blowing all your money on all this bull you could have just bought this

I encourage buying this if it's for your health. And, you know, who even knows? You could have found something else probably. But either way, let's just say this was the only thing you could have ever possibly gotten. You could have afforded it on your income. But instead you decided to get a house without a fully funded emergency fund and you decided to spend all the money on bullshit. Listen, hey. When we went there, I just was looking and they gave me this, which was 0% for two years. What, the one place you went? Great. Smart.

Hey, guess what? Your miscellaneous bullshit and your fast food spending alone this month basically pays for this. In one month. So f*** off. Off. This is risk. This is risk over your head. This is a minimum monthly payment. And you are struggling to make your minimums paid. You have said so yourself. All my loan stuff is all above minimum payments. But then you max out your...

And then your credit card balances are above balance limits. So what are you talking about? What are you talking about? What you're saying about anything? You don't know what you're saying about anything. Sick man. $1,993 and 53 cents.

The term for it's like three years, but if you pay it off in two, it's 0% interest. Oh my fuck. What do you have to pay to pay it off in two? Like $80. So I make a hundred dollar payments. That doesn't make any sense. It's 0%. Why would you pay a hundred if it takes, if it's $80 to pay it off interest free? What is your debt payoff strategy? This is not avalanches and not snowball. This makes no sense. Little by little. That's your debt strategy. It's the fucking, what are you cold little by little strategy?

Here, guys, we've invented a third debt payoff strategy, the Colt Little by Little, also known as keeping our credit cards above their max. It's the anti-snowball avalanche strategy. If you want to do that one, you too can f*** your life. Go to f***ing coltadvancedstrategies.com. coltadvancedstrategies.com. All the bills get paid on time. That's all that matters. And all the hairs recede. I gotta piss. Okay, bye, I guess. Okay, see ya.

It was nice filming with you. Well, that thing's hanging deep, huh? Okay. Okay. I'll see you in the next financial audit. All right. Did you have a good pee-pee? Yeah. Okay. Kind of brown, but it's good. What the fuck? Oh, you absolute freak. You have a $300 debt for an Xbox to your dad? Yeah.

You laugh about that? It's a travel Xbox. For work. What does that mean, Colt? You know, when you're gone for a while and there's nothing to do. You're at work at home. I travel for work sometimes. How often? How long at a time? I mean, like, I just got back from one where I was gone for like three weeks. Okay, a travel Xbox, but you have debt to your daddy for it. So grandma, mom, daddy. Yep.

You are not an adult. Yeah, drink it up so you don't have to piss again. I don't know. You're a literal child. And you want her to be a stay-at-home wife? You have no adult existence. Why do you have debt to your dad for an Xbox? I don't give a f*** that it's a travel Xbox. That doesn't mean debt to dad. It's for work. It doesn't mean you go in debt for your dad. So tell me why you're in debt to your dad.

Because we bought an Xbox for work. No, I know, but why did you have to borrow it from your dad, Colt? Because we needed something to do at the time. Colt. Oh, I'm going to literally f***ing, I'm shitting and cumming. This is... I'm going to run you dry on water bottles. Buddy, I'm asking, can you please ask this? Why did you not have enough money and why did you have to ask dad for the money? Because I was going to get paid later that week and we were sitting around for a few days waiting.

Why haven't you paid it off then? I'm in progress of that. What's your progress? I see $300 owed. I'm making $100. And Xbox is what, $350? I'm sending $100 every month. You have to make a $100 payment for a fucking Xbox to your dad when you make $7,000 a month. Okay, why do I see debt to mom? $5,250. That was for the immigration stuff. Is she your mom and to pay for her immigration? Well, the...

Damn, USCIS takes only money orders. They don't take payments. So you have to have it all in front. Payments? That's a payment. You mean payment plans? Is that what you're saying? Yeah. You shouldn't have to. You make money! And now your mom had to pay that? What a joke! They don't respect you, do they? I'd hope so. Why? How would they respect you? I'm sorry. This is mean, but how would they? Unpaid labor.

What the f*** are you talking about? I swear, brain cells are decreasing by the time we get to the end of this. How much do you owe her a month? The $275,000. The $275,000? What $275,000? Did we talk about $275,000? Yeah. The $275,000 that goes to my mom, the $275,000 that goes to the personal loan. So it covers the same? Yes. So it gets split between the personal loan and this? $275,000 to one of the loans, and then $275,000 to her. So two...

So every paycheck, there's $2.75 that goes to that account. And then she takes $2.75 at the later end of the month. Hold on. No, no, I'm confused. Where's the other one going? I want to make sure I have it. Because I have a personal on those, $230.51 a month. I was making, so I take out of my paycheck $2.75 that goes to that account.

The Alta One. To what? So the Alta One account. Alta? Alta One. What account? The personal loan? Yeah. Well, I have a debit card on there that doesn't exist anymore. So I put that, $275. Because she took out the personal loan for the wedding. Yes, okay. So $275 goes to her, $275 goes to the loan. Wait, did she take out the personal loan for the wedding? No.

She co-signed it. That's why it's so low. Okay, so $275 goes to that, and then $275 goes to this? Yes. Okay, so $500 total? Yes. Okay, why'd you say it like the $275? Okay, whatever. Grandma, I see an additional $1,000. What's that for? What a joke. You just use your family, man. Some repairs. Great. What's your minimum monthly?

I'm working on paying off the credit card and then I'll start paying her or pay off someone else. Oh, you disgust me. As a man, as a human, as a grandson, as a son. Ew. I hope they cut you off, man. I hope they cut you. They're telling me that there's times where you need to borrow money to pay your mortgage and you go to grandma. I'm disgusted. I'm disgusted. I am vehemently disgusted.

And actually kind of raging right now because that's f***ing, that's nasty. You get $4,000 a month inflation adjusted for the rest of your f***ing life. And yet you got a mortgage without an emergency fund. F*** your life. F*** your family. Now you borrow for them just to even pay the mortgage. What a f***ing joke. Okay, what is this? I see a Navy federal personal loan for $16,468.29. Is this a car or what's the car? Ford Edge 2017.

What do you think it's worth? You owe $16,468.29. It's over $100,000. Miles, he's saying. Because he only speaks in half sentences. I'm just going to drive it to the ground. Cool, what's it worth? Probably like $4,000. We're seeing about $8,000 probably. But even still, you're dramatically underwater by half. Minimum fee payment, $408.51. What's the interest? It's at a 10.09% interest rate.

For a car? Man, I just don't know. You f*** yourself so much. You don't even commute to work. This was when I got home from Korea. I had to buy a car. I originally had Santander because I was a dumb kid who didn't know how to... You had what? Santander. Is that a car? It's a loan. It's like 25%. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know what you're talking about. So I refinanced it to that.

Because I didn't know how to... Great, so you were a double moron when you first started. Okay. Navy Federal really taking care of vets, giving a 10% loan out. Okay. So I'm confused on why you needed an expensive car just because you got home from the military, though.

It wasn't an expensive car. Yes, it was. You still owe $16,000 on it. What the fuck are you talking about? I had to drive it from Texas to Georgia. How many times? Multiple times. How many times? Like four. Okay. I'm sure you could have got a $10,000 car that was approved by a couple mechanics. Okay? And you could have been fine. I don't know, man. This is just so beyond stupid.

Navy Federal Credit Union. Here's your mortgage. You owe $302,572.09 at a 6.375% interest rate. Not horrible. And our minimum repayment is $2,195.71. And you can't pay it all the time. How often do you have to borrow for it? Be real. Be honest. Don't try to hide this. Once or twice in the past year.

So 25% of the time? It's the months that it's over a weekend, so it takes longer for it to happen. Huh? The ACH transaction takes longer. Do you have auto pay on? Yeah. So it's fine. I'm confused. What's your issue? Other bills shoot in before. Why don't you budget? If you literally just budget, you're fine. Why do you not have enough money in your checking account? Bills.

That's so stupid, buddy. Come on. We saw $2,000 of bullsh** this month. I mean, oh, f***. Oh, no. Checking account, ending balance, $26. This is Apple Bill, Apple Bill, Microsoft, Apple Bill, cloaked, cloaked, Netflix, Hulu, Apple Bill, Apple Bill. What a joke. Microsoft, Apple Bill, PlayStation, Apple Bill. Put on your f***ing phone. It's mostly just subscriptions. Yeah, no s***. And that's what I'm looking at. For, uh... Get just... Great. Brand new phone. That's what he needs. Wow, that's an old picture.

Oh my gosh. AppleCare+, AppleCare+, AppleCare+, three AppleCare+, Element Weather Radar, Ground News, Malwarebytes Mobile, Paramount+, Quick and Simplified Budgeting App, which you said sucks, so I would just do DollarWise. We switched our payment structure so that if an account doesn't connect, it falls back and there's multiple ways to make an account connect. Other budgeting apps do not have this. We do. We invested the money for it. DollarWise.com.

Recyme recipes? Instead of you paying a subscription for recipes? Paramount Plus, out of all subscription services, is the worst. This is just so moronic. This is such a dumb use of money, man. $11 in this account. Tractor supply, Taco Bell. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. Oh, good. Two over drafts this year so far on the previous checking account. Who would have thought? I guess I shouldn't do that to a veteran. I'm sorry. $1,208.00.

And he bounced in this at least. Thank goodness. Oh, but we're door dashing. Microsoft Store door dash. He buys video games every second of his fucking life. Amazon Sirius XM. Who the fuck has that? McDonald's. I keep trying to cancel Sirius. What do you mean you keep trying? Call. Fox and Hair or email or bullshit. This is stupid, stupid, stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. Can you tell I've given up? $56 on this one. Oh, good! ATM withdrawal, $43. Who knows where the f*** that went? Liquor to drink through the conversations with her, I bet. Apple Bill, Apple Bill, Oculus. Oh my gosh, so much gaming. Kim, Sonic Drive-In, Oculus, Canva, Apple, Amazon Prime, Kim's Raising Cane's, Kim's Chili's, Door Dashing, Apple Bill, Chick-fil-A, Microsoft Ultimate again. Oh, Door Dashing!

DoorDashing Wings, Microsoft, again, Microsoft, you buy video games every five seconds, PlayStation Network, on both systems apparently, uh, Kim's, Denny's, Tractor Supply, Amazon, Amazon, McDonald's, Ubering, Ubering, DoorDashing, Uptown, Restaurant, DoorDashing, Hawaiian Bros, Russia Stover, Amazon, going in and getting some bulls**t.

DoorDash, Panda Express, Sonic Drive-In, Apple Bill, Steam Games, Apple Bill, DoorDash, Hulu, Taco Bell, El Toro, Truck to Supply, Cloaks, Netflix, Apple Bill, Amazon, Apple Bill, Chick-fil-A, Apple Bill, Kim's. You have no sympathy for me. Your spending is f***ing bulls***.

The fact that you have to borrow from your grandma, you have to borrow from your mom, you have to borrow from your dad just for an Xbox. The fact that you have to borrow from them to get a quarter of your mortgage payments. No, you f***ed up. This is dumb. This is stupid. This is moronic. I f***ing hate this. This is, I don't like your existence. I don't like her existence.

This is so stupid. Listen, I'm so sick of this that it just makes me beyond, beyond. I can make a budget. I'm not going to. You're just annoying me. What I'm going to do instead, because I feel bad about not making a budget, I'm just going to pay for you to sit down with an expert because maybe they can communicate in a way that doesn't just...

piss them off because this is I'm just I'm done with you guys I am done with this conversation I'm sorry I'm sorry I just can't I don't want to communicate with you anymore now we're going to try to bring her in and have another 20 minutes in the post show but I do not want to talk about these finances I do not want to build a budget I don't want to do any of this bullshit anymore this is so stupid so join us for the post show guys

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Colt is planning on opening a business.

You didn't tell me this. I thought I did. No. We'll have to take out a $50,000 loan. Why didn't you tell me? I told you. But you even told me. She probably doesn't know. Glusive members content. Click the link in the description or pin comment below and watch thousands of hours of extra and uncensored content.