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of me. I want to be a stay-at-home mom. That is my goal. Do you have a kid? No, I don't. What the f*** are you staying at home for? I told him next year I would like to have a baby. You're sitting at home. You're not working. He's the only one making income. I'm very excited about it. What the f*** is wrong with your girlfriend? F***ing going into debt yet she wants you to f***ing blow her up with your n***a so she can pop out a kid.
Download my budgeting app today and take control of your money once and for all. And for a limited time only, sign up for the annual version of premium and get my cookbook and notebook signed and mailed directly to you. Link in the description and pin comment below. Hi, my name is Kimberly. I'm 25 from New Braunfels, Texas, and this is Financial Audit. Thanks for coming up to Austin. What do you do down there for a living? I am an office manager at an electric company. Very cool. What do you make? Monthly or...
Yeah, sure. $3,600. $3,600. Is that what hits your account net? Yes. Okay. So $3,600, New Braunfels, smaller town in between two major metros. It's kind of right in between Austin and San Antonio. So you get a little bit of the price bleed there, but it's certainly not as expensive as a place like Austin. For sure. How you living? How are things going? How you doing, $3,600? It's fine. It's fine. It could always be better, of course. But I think...
obviously not if I'm here but yeah I pay my bills well I've heard a lot of people say that and then I find out no but okay okay you pay your bills so that's I guess yay we did that yeah okay so what's the struggle I guess just
Just making it towards the end of the week with any money. What do you mean end of week? Because I get paid every week. Like, I'm salaried. Then how do you pay your bills if you're struggling to make it to the end of the pay period? Because I just— Which is only a week. Yeah, I know. Because of the weekends. That's what gets me. I like to go out. What is there, like, two bars in that town? What do you mean? I come to Austin. I go to San Antonio. I'm in the middle. I get to—
Go at home. Great. Okay. So I pay all my bills, and then after that, whatever is left is bar money. So you drain to zero every week? Most of the week. Most weeks. Yeah, most weeks, if I'm being honest. What are you trying to live to? What are you trying to do? I want to be a stay-at-home mom. That is my goal. That's what I want. I don't want— Do you have a kid? No, I don't. What the f*** are you staying at home for?
home for well i won't eventually that's i need to pay off everything i have someone to make a kid with i do okay what's the status of that we've been together for five years um we live together so i mean he has to finish school and then having a kid i told him next year i would like to have a baby and are you what did he say let him finish school when does he finish school the end of this year so earlier than yeah well the end of this what is he gonna be making
I don't know. He's going for computer science at Texas State right now. And then after that, he's either going to look in Dallas or Austin. I mean, computer science is good. I don't know. Getting out of potentially your financial position, maybe he's borrowing for school. For doing all that, you're sitting at home. You're not working. He's the only one making income. It's not 1950. I mean, is it...
Does it mathematically make sense at that time? Okay. Well, not right now. You want to be a stay-at-home mom, even though the only thing you call like a child is a beer bottle. Interesting. Yeah. So...
That's going to be a big lifestyle change. You want to have a kid, but you can't not go out and blow the rest of your money for a week? So what are we talking about? I can not go out. I just, why not right now? But you actually only go out and drain to zero and do nothing but that. So what do you mean? My friends, they want to. Your friends will want to when you have a kid. And then I'll be like, I have a kid. They will invite you. When I have a kid, it's different. They will invite you. They won't invite your kid.
They'll invite you. And your husband will have been at work doing work, so he probably won't want to fully watch the kid. Even though stay at home, yes, we would definitely want to make sure you're able to still go out and experience the world. And he would need to take a bit of a sacrifice there, but...
If all your life is, is going to bars and draining your account to zero. I mean, obviously you're not a productive member of the household then. So maybe. Right now I am. Yes, I am. And when you're staying home. You drain it to zero. Because I paid my bills. Okay. Are your bills his bills? No. The only thing we split is rent. Okay. So he would have to overtake your bills.
Well, if I could pay them off, then no. You won't have the... No, what do you mean by bills? Are you just talking minimum of the payments on debts? No, no, no. Okay, then are you going to pay off an apartment? I don't think so. Oh, yeah, I guess. So what are you talking about pay off? I'm talking about like my car. I want to pay that off. These cards, I owe IRS, which I guess we'll get into. Okay.
You're f***ing kidding me. For what? For what possibly? For why? Because I was a server and apparently, this is a story in itself. I was a server at a restaurant in New Braunfels and I...
I made a lot of money. I was claiming my tips, but when I went to go file taxes, I like did all the numbers and they said it owed $2,000 for one year. Yeah, because you claimed your tips and you didn't fucking set any money aside for the tips in cash. Yeah. Cash. Credit card, I'm sure that's probably withheld for you. Yes, that was. But then, so I saw it was $2,000. I was like,
I don't have that, so I'm not going to pay it. $2,000, make or break, and you bring in $3,600 net. Oh, maybe we don't go to the bar every five seconds of our life and live off the bottle and drain to zero from the bottle if we owe $2,000, which is just over half of our monthly income, which net, which you should be able to pay off. That's just the act of a child. The when? What year? What year taxes was this? 2021. 2021.
I owe $2,000 for 2022. What's wrong with you? Huh? No, no, no. So $2,000 for 2021? $2,800 for 2021. $2,600 for 2022. Why did you not fix it for the next year? Because... If you knew there was the flaw of it from the first year. For some reason, I thought they would never come after me. There's bigger fish in the sea. And then I realized if I want to buy a house... Yeah, exactly. It'll fuck you in more ways than just that. Well...
I'm on a payment plan now. Really? So these are the bills? They're bills. Yes, they're bills. My bills. Okay. They're my bills.
Yeah, yeah. You love to talk about your bills, so I'm just making sure we understand what your bills are. Do you know how to split rent? I do split rent. Okay, that's probably a bill. And again, that doesn't just go away. So he would have to overtake that. Do you pay towards utilities, towards groceries? Groceries I do. Utilities he takes care of already. Okay, so you would have to take care of your full thing of groceries. So there's more here than just paying off debt. Paying off debt, obviously going into that situation is going to be good. You don't want to go into that situation with a bunch of debt because it's a lot of risk.
Yeah, well, I guess my main focus is to be a mom and to do what I need to do. Yeah, how about you set your kid up for success, though, instead of having— I've got to take care of me first, not— That's what I was just saying. Okay, okay, I'm sorry. What do you think I was just saying? I was saying set your kid up for success by you not going into the parenthood. Yeah. Okay. I mean, you're taking it yourself, so, I mean, you're probably good. Well, I didn't mean it in a selfish way. Yeah, how much did you spend? Because $3,600 went out. How much did you spend? $3,600.
$3,600 came in. Yes. I'm going to say $38 if I had to guess. $38. So $200 more. Yes. How would you do that? The credit cards. Why would I do that or how did I? And you're okay with that with wanting to have a kid? No, I'm not. We're taking care of ourselves so we're taking care of the kid, but we're going to spend more than we make. I thought you said you drained down to zero and then you paid your bill so you're good. So you wouldn't be putting any money on a credit card? Well, when you go out.
No, you said you drained to zero. You didn't say you drained to negative. Well, I guess I didn't see it as negative when it's still available on the credit card. How do you view credit cards? How do I view them or how do I? Yeah, how do you view them? I view them as money that's available to spend that needs to be paid back. Eventually needs to be paid back. So it's not your money then. And you already know that. So what the fuck are you talking about?
I had it and it was available. I think it was available, but you know, it's not your money. That would obviously be negative if you're talking about how much you spent on a monthly basis. It was there. Also, you spent basically $5,000. So shut the fuck up. You're like, you don't know. You don't want to be a stay at home mom. I do. Yeah. Well, you want to run away from everything, apparently more than anything, because you're not doing anything. $5,000 is actually insane. I don't know how you got that number. By your spending.
Where? I feel like... Yeah, because you can spend on debt. I feel like there's no way that happened. My credit cards have been maxed out for a long time. Where did the extra $2,000 come from? Let's find out. But you know that's more money than you can possibly spend, so I'm guessing...
But at least for these next couple months, no more going out this week, right? That's in the plan because you're going to want to be a stay-at-home mom. Yes. You're done. Also, this weekend, while we're talking about going out, I will be attending a bachelorette. I'm very excited about it.
How much did you have to put towards that? I mean, it's hard to tell someone no for a bachelorette because I get it. It's your best friend probably. But how much do you have to put towards that? But that's different than you going out to a bar every weekend. This is a one-time thing that happens here or there. And I'm not dramatically opposed to that. Okay. Well, I had to put $400 to buy the Airbnb because I— That's clearly not your issue if you're spending $2,000 more than you make on a monthly basis.
Well, it's part of the issue because I covered another girl's thing. Why? Because I felt bad. I had already told the other girls the price and then I didn't want to. Money is a weird conversation for anybody. And so I just was like, I have the money right now. Why don't I just do it? If I have it, why can't I do it? You know what I mean? And I feel like that's... Because you want to become a stay-at-home mom. What goal matters more?
What goal matters more? I think it's just about timeline. Like, I know. Okay, yeah. And you want to have a kid like tomorrow. So what goal matters more? The mom. The mom. Then why aren't you prioritizing it?
I don't understand. That's like your choice. You could just go do that. I know, but also like fun. Well, not just go do that, but you can at least make the actual progress and the stuff that is necessary to get there. Getting on our budget, not blowing all our money. I'm spending 2,000 hours more than we make on a monthly basis. Yes. But fun is also a priority for me too. And on the spatula, she wants to go and get a massage. Of course it's a priority. It's a priority for all of us. But which one do you choose?
They can't both be the top priority when you're obviously failing one from the other. Your obvious top priority is fun because that is what your money... No, that is what your money is doing. Fun right now. Fun right now. But your fun right now is preventing you from having a kid or you're going to get a kid in a household that's going to be stressed financially and it's not going to be a good environment. Well, I think... Not the environment you would want. That's true. But I think...
Fun right now. And then focus after the bachelorette, after the wedding, and then after the cruise in September, I will. September? We're talking about fucking September. That's a half a year away. You're already talking about having a kid at the end of the fucking year. So, sorry. You're getting enraged. That's so stupid. I know. Oh, shut up. I know. What the fuck?
is that? Because I don't know. No, no, no, no. I'm not going to let you get away with it. What kind of response is that? I know. Yeah, you choose to do it. No, that's going to infuriate me. My goal is to have a kid sometime next year. Sometime next year. That's enough time for me to get my shit together and have fun. How? Tell me. What's your grand plan? Please. Actually, okay. Okay. Very good. Very good.
May I borrow? May I borrow the whiteboard? My friends, my friends, may I borrow? Well,
Well, here's Lindsay. Okay. Why don't I get your plan? Why don't you give me a little plan? Do a step-by-step instructional plan. Can I have that? I want to see this because I would love to see you math this out. Please, give me a little plan. Just a little plan, you know? A step-by-step, detailed, high-overview plan that is going to be just stellar. Best plan that's ever been created in the history of the world. Please, show me.
June. Whoops. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So May says wedding, right? Is that what this is? May says wedding, yeah. Okay, good. Not for me. So no progress. Not a single piece of progress in May. Not for me. Wait. Well done. June through... April debt? You were in April, and I just saw you're spending. You went $2,000 more in debt. So what debt are you talking about? You don't spend... You don't not spend more than you... You're going to a bachelorette this weekend. What are you talking about? This plan's already broken. No. Look, okay. No. No.
No, this isn't a high detailed plan. You're writing like two letters. April, bachelorette. Have fun. I thought it said death. I was reading upside down. No, no. Okay. May, wedding. Great. So two months gone. June until February is all save, save, save, save. No, it's not. No, it's not. You don't... No, it's not. What about September? September, cruise. That's only $500. That...
Which is huge. It's a substantial amount of money. You have no respect for the dollar. $500 is huge for you. What the fuck are you talking about? $3,800 comes in, right? $3,600. 14% of your money. You say that's nothing? You spend $2,000 more than you bring in on a monthly basis. $500 is nothing? That's just going to be an extra $500 on top of the $2,000 that you spend more on a monthly basis. That doesn't make any sense. Well, it's booked. What's the additional $500? For what?
What are you talking about? For the booked cruise. Oh, um, well, it's not booked. I put a deposit down. Then stop! And I put... What was the deposit? $100. Good. You lost it. Walk away. But I booked an excursion. I don't care. For $400. Oh, you're... Refundable. But you still have to spend $500. Yes. Good. You're not going. So you lost $500 instead of $1,000. Well done. Well done. Good. That's the cost of being a dumbass. And we're no longer being a dumbass. That's the goal. We're no longer being a dumbass.
The goal is no longer being a dumbass and sometimes you have to sacrifice things and sometimes sacrificing some things is sacrificing fun. I haven't been on a vacation in like four years. Good.
you're not in a position to you're not entitled to that no one is what the luxury world are you living in shut up don't even don't even open your mouth that makes no sense i don't care if you haven't been on a vacation you are not entitled to a vacation you can go on a vacation when you're literally able to go on vacation mathematically right now you are not able to you are choosing a vacation over the child that is what you are picking
Which one, lady? Which one, lady? I want to do both. That's what I want. Nope. Probably not. You spend $2,000 more than you've been earning on a monthly basis. You have $20,000 of bad debt. $6,000 of it is IRS debt. Good f***ing luck. Want to have a kid next year? Next year is eight months away. $20,000 bad debt.
Good. $2,500 a month has to go towards that. You're bringing in $3,600. Good luck. It's tax season, which means some of you are getting a refund and already planning to blow it on something dumb. But if your credit needs work, maybe...
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I don't have to get pregnant at like January. I could wait until the end of the year. I just want to like be pregnant next year. Okay. Even half the amount of time, $1,500, maybe $2,000 to go towards that. Then we still have to get a fully funded emergency fund, which I highly doubt you have. So at that point, you're still dramatically behind. Yeah.
Or putting yourself in a risky position when having this kid. This makes no sense. Well, it's not just me. With the desperation to be a stay-at-home mom. It's like, I get it. And you can do that if you guys want to. But mathematically, it's not working right now. It's not just me, Payne. Like, I have a boyfriend. Boyfriend. Yes, we've talked about it. He will be there to help. It's not just me. Why is your dad there then? Well, because I don't like to ask him for help. Then will he be there for help? If I asked...
So the boyfriend's going to bail us out without actually learning anything. So we're just going to get there again and then bring him down. That's going to be that's such a for for co-parents and eventually a married couple. That's a really good success. Hopefully that would not bring it down. Hopefully it will because you wouldn't have fixed your behavior to pay off your debt. You would have gone into more debt, most likely because you just bailed out because of it. Also, does he have a twenty thousand dollars laying around?
Mmm, probably not. So what the f*** are you talking about? I mean, it's a process. Everything's a process. I can- It's a process, but your process is going reverse.
I don't think so. You can say some exciting words and phrases, but that's not true. You don't think so. You spent $2,000 more. Well, I need to get this across your head before we jump into these documents. The fact that you can't even comprehend this, the process you're doing is the reverse. And if that's the way you want to go, do it. That's okay. If you want your child to grow up in a completely stressful place where the marriage is likely to not be successful because you guys are doing one of
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the leading cause for divorce in this country that is your choice if you want to have fun and prioritize vacation over a good household for your child that is your choice you can do that you can walk out but you came on this show you applied to this show for me to give you the wake-up call of hey maybe you're up and guess what i'm trying to tell you you're up you are not on the path you what path are you on your path is going down a dirt hill rolling rolling while the path is up there and everyone else is succeeding
What are you talking about? Baby's up there. You're going down there. You're going to drown. There's a pond. You don't look like you can swim, so I don't know. I feel like it always works out. I really do. I feel like... Like I said, all my bills are paid. The debt is there, yeah. But it's being paid on. I don't know how I spent $2,000 more than came in. I don't know where that's at in your calculations, but...
I think both are achievable. I think both are achievable. I understand I spent more than, yeah, but that's not like preventing me from being a mom. Mathematically, tell me how both are achievable if you're paying all your other bills at the same time. I'm sorry. I said mathematically, how are they available at the same time if you...
are still paying your bills. How can we get there if in order to have a fully funded emergency fund and pay off all this debt before you have a kid likely has to be, even if it's a year and a half from now, like $2,500 on a monthly basis to take into account the emergency fund. How are you
in doing that mathematically. Give me the math. I would love the equation because you're going to be unlocking some new math that is going to discover how the universe was created or something in order to make this worth. Please go ahead. Okay, so maybe I would have to cut down a little bit. What's a little? Tell me. What's the number? You've obviously planned this out in your head. What's the number? You figured it out. Come on, please tell me. Maybe like an extra $300 a month. $300 a month what? For the step?
Towards debt, yeah. Okay, $300 a month. Let's see, $20,000, but you need $40,000 because we're doing an emergency fund. No money is going towards that. $300, wonderful. That takes 133 months. 133 months is 11 years. Congratulations, you'll be having a kid at 35. Okay, so go ahead. Please tell me this grand equation. I would love you to walk me how you got there.
You're the genius. You have it figured out. You have the path. You're on the path. The path has been discovered. We're on it. We're walking. It's so good. What a lovely path. Please tell me. I want to learn how every stuff works. I want to go down this path. Okay, so maybe I just go on the bachelorette, go to the wedding, go to the cruise, and that's it. That's the only fun. Okay, so the things we already talked about that are going to take away money from the debt payoff. Oh.
So you spend no money going out to eat, spend no money getting coffee, spend no money getting... Listen, everyone on the show smokes. Do you smoke something? I do. Of course you do. What do you smoke? I do vape and... Oh, you're a double lung destroyer. Congratulations. Double budget breaker. Wonderful. So are you taking away that? Are we taking away that? Probably not. That's an addiction. Good luck. I want to. Want to means absolutely nothing. I will. It means absolutely nothing. You do or you don't. I will.
I will. I can. I just... Can you? Why haven't you done it? It's hard. Hmm. But... So, will you then? I will. I will. But you haven't because it's hard. Well, I want to quit anyways because the cruise is coming up and you can't take it on the cruise. Listen...
Answer this question truthfully. This will just give us a good, a good just of your financial situation. Your boyfriend, you say you split things. Okay. Does he ever have to cover any of your bills that you're responsible for? Sometimes he will pay my phone bill. Well, you then you're done. Yeah. Okay. If he already has to pay for bills that you are, that you are supposed to take care of.
That's like once in a blue moon. That blue moon must happen endlessly. Okay, listen.
If he is taking care of bills that you are required to take care of already when we're splitting bills, good luck. You're going to put $2,500 towards debt and emergency fund to have a kid by a year and a half times period? Good luck. No, you're not. Maybe this is the time to accept. Maybe your path is wrong. Maybe your method does not work and that is okay and you're willing to hear something different. Maybe you don't have it figured out. Maybe you were accepted on the show because your finances are dumb. I mean, maybe. Maybe.
So you think just cutting back those three things gets us there, even though he has to pay for the bill. So you're cutting back all food, all vape, all smoke, all cancer, all off. You're cutting back everything. Everything is all gone. All gone. Is it? I think. How much do you spend on fast food in a month? I mean. That number, I cook probably once a week. So let's see if I had to guess like $300 a month.
I cook once a week, so it's $300? Does that mean you eat out six times a week? Probably. Yeah, and how many meals do you eat a day? Like two. Two meals a day, or lunch and dinner. I don't know how—I'm learning to cook. I am learning to cook. I was never taught— Okay, use our cookbook. Use our cookbook. Everyone out there gets a physical version of our cookbook when you sign up for Simpler Budget, the annual edition, which saves you months of payments anyway. Okay.
Use the cookbook. I mean, it's just a recipe. Learn how to cook. It's right there. It's budget-friendly, too. It's for a $300 a month of grocery budget. So $300 a month. So two meals you cook once a day. So that means we have two times six plus one for the other meal that you're not cooking because you cook for one meal and you only eat two meals a day. Thirteen meals we must have. $300, $13. So you spend...
$300. Oh, sorry, but $300 a week you say you spend? No, you said a month. Probably a month. Yeah, okay, so 13 times 4. So that's 52. Well done, 352. So you spend $5.76 a meal. Your path is very interesting. It's the most interesting path I've ever seen. The path's a little crooked and broken and so...
I'm learning to cook. It's a process. That's not my point. Everything's a process. You say you spent $300 going out to eat. That would be $5.76 a meal. What's the last time you went to a fast food restaurant, even McDonald's, and got something for $5? That's actually a meal. They actually have— A Capone's, sure. They have a McGangbang that I get quite often. What? Yeah, I know. It looks like you've been McGangbanged quite a few times. Whoa! So—
Ronald just can't stop shoving it in. I'll let him. You're a McDonald.
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And you can end up right here. Oh, by the way, you spent a thousand hours going out to eat. So, I mean, go f*** yourself. No way. Yes way. $20 on average per meal if you only cook one meal a week, which, yes, makes sense. I just swipe, which is bad, I know. Portions. But if I want something and I have the money, why don't I get it for myself? You don't have the money. You spend $2,000 more than you make on a monthly basis. You don't have the money. What are you talking about? What are you talking about?
I just, if I want it. Just want it more than the kid. That's not true. I do. I want a kid. You don't even know how much you spend on food. You don't know how much you spend on any of that. You do not get to leave this building until you download the Simpler Budget app. It automates everything. It is so simple. It will literally just change your life. I don't know why everyone in the world doesn't just use it. Literally.
literally download it. And again, anyone who signs up for the annual version gets one of these founders edition signed notebooks and the cookbook mailed directly to you when you sign up for annual. What do you think your financial score is? Zero to 10, zero being the worst, 10 being the best. I actually took the test I did and I got a zero. Oh, sadly. And you think you have the path to get there.
Eventually, the process. The process, guys. It's a process. It's a process. But you can't describe the process. It's a process. You just don't know what. What the f*** are you talking about? It's a process. Everything's a process by your logic. F*** you, it's a process. I don't know what you mean it's a process. If you want to see a f***ing process, go to calebhammer.com and I'll go through the equation and quiz and I'll give you your financial score.
And if you have a process that you need broken apart, come down here to Austin, Texas. I'd be happy to have you on the show at calebhammer.com. I have time. I have time to fix this before I have a baby. We've already went through the math. Lady, I don't... How many McDoubles are up there? Like, is that just like taking all brain capacity away? No, that might be... Oh, she got really excited when I mentioned McDoubles. Did you guys see that? This is my favorite place to eat. Uncontrolled. Is it? Mm-hmm.
I love it. It's cheap and it's good and it's fast. You spend $20 on average per month. Yeah. Okie dokie. Let's get into the finances because, oh my, I don't know if you'll be able to understand the numbers I am saying. We'll see. Capital One. Just OG classic Capital One. We're looking at $1,847.40 with a $67 minimum monthly payment. What's going on with this card? What's going on?
So I know on that one, I think I bought an Apple Watch on that one and then I lost it. So I had to buy another Apple Watch. Yeah, for all your workouts. My, okay. Yeah, I am trying to work out. That's why I have to have it. And I use it for work. So, yeah.
Uh-huh. You have to have it for work? Well, I don't have to have it for work, but I use it. I said I use it for work. I didn't say I have to have it. Oh, what do you even use it to work for? When I'm driving and the guys are texting me and I can just be like, hey, or respond. And it does track when I work out. Right, because you do not have a phone. I do have a phone, but you're not supposed to be on your phone when you drive.
Does your car not send text? Yeah, it does have Apple CarPlay, actually. What the f*** are you talking about? Well, Apple CarPlay is for maps. It's just easier to just like, see it. Great. That's certainly not distracting to respond to. Respond, not just glancing. Yeah, I just need to look. If I need to respond, yeah, I'll, hey Siri, text. Do you not have AppleCare? No, I didn't think I would lose it.
When did you lose it? How quickly after purchasing it did you lose it? Maybe like five months, which really sucked. And then I waited another five months and I was like, okay, no, I have to have a watch. And so I went and bought another one. Okay, so what's going to happen the next time you lose that and you drop it in a McBag and it somehow ends up down your throat? I'm not going to lose it. This one I'm taking very good care of. I'm trying to.
I have a little... Trying to. Everything's trying to. You haven't done anything but trying to. You have to try. I don't think you've tried. I've seen your actual effort. I don't think you've tried. There's nothing in here to suggest that you have tried to be able to use that word. I don't think you're allowed to use that word. Trying? Yes. I think I'm always trying. Or at least always thinking about it. And you're trying is a fake version of that word. Always thinking about trying. So, guys, I might attempt to try today. I might try to try to try. When you say it like that...
I'm like, I think about everything all the time, like all my payments. But you do nothing. But I think about it. That means nothing to me. That's even worse than you being ignorant because you're not ignorant. You know this and you don't make progress by a choice. It's like overwhelming. It is. Yeah, but it gets more overwhelming by you not addressing it. I'm trying. No, you are not. We just... I'm...
working on it no you're not you live in a delusional world I know what I need to do then do it it's why don't you because you tell me why you actually don't please I would love to hear why you think you don't
Why I think I don't. So in your own brain, why do you think you don't? Because you are knowledgeable about the situation and what you need to do, apparently, according to you. I think it gets overwhelming. I think I don't know where to start. I think... But you said you know what to do. I know what to do. It's just, like, hard. And then, like, people invite you out. Since you don't know where to start and you know what to do, which one is it? Well...
It's just hard. What? To, like, think about, okay, I don't need to do this. But you're always thinking. I know, but I'm not thinking about, like, I don't want to hurt people's feelings. So when people invite me out or go out, I'm a people pleaser. So if they invite me to go eat, of course I'm going to. Warning.
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What, everyone's inviting you to go to the drive-thru? That doesn't make any sense. You say you go to McDonald's every second, so that's not getting invited to go out. That's you f***ing around. Yeah, that one. What do you mean? That's not saying someone no. That's just telling your boy Mc... Ronald McDonald. Yeah, it's just telling him no, and he's not inviting you no matter what you see at night. No, but that's more... McDonald's is more for, like, lunch break. I ate McDonald's.
And then if I go home and I don't cook, I mean, Cameron. You're going to be one of those parents that only feeds their kid McDonald's. No way. Yes, you are. You're too lazy to cook for yourself. That's what I'm saying. This is a process I have to get. Yes, it's a process if you do it. But you're not.
Oh, your terminology and use of words is going to infuriate me. You don't do anything yet. You just try to pretend like you are or that you say the right phrase to get out of some pushback. Shut the fuck up. You can't take care of yourself. You think you're going to take care of a kid? Yes, I think I will be there. Why? What's going to change that? I think I'm going to be a good mom. You're going to be excited for the first six months and then you're going to move on to something else. No, I do. You're going to feed him McFries.
I do move on to, like, hobbies like that. But kids are different. Kids, that's, like, all I've ever dreamed about is, like, kids. Three. Three kids. Right, but you are choosing McDonald's over that. Because I feel like it's still, like, possibly a year and a half away before I'm even pregnant. Yeah.
Is this conversation just a repeat fest? I've already described how much money you need to put towards it on a monthly basis to get there in a year and a half. To pay off everything. Yeah, and have a fully funded emergency fund in order to have a kid in a safe way without them growing up in a stressful financially household. Like $2,500 a month. That's quite a bit. Spend $1,000 getting McDonald's. That's insane.
Yeah, I don't... Okay, you also spent $134.34 on this card. Why are you putting money on a credit card that cannot be fully paid off that is accruing interest? You started above the credit limit the month previous. You started above the f***ing credit limit. For f***s sake, what are we doing here? And we're ready to have a kid. I didn't mean to spend on that card. I didn't mean to, guys, so it's okay. Guys, it didn't actually happen because I didn't mean to. What the f***?
none of these words you say mean anything because i took my dog to the pet parlor i had the money in my account but they charged my credit card automatically i think i think no that's a fucking lie or again you're stupid i don't know which one is it are you a liar or stupid that one are you a liar or stupid i was confused are you a liar or stupid are the options choose one confused
What are you confused about? Because that was a different month. Is your confusion so much that it equals stupid? I feel like we might be going that way. The third option. There's not a third option. What do you mean? What were you confused about? I was confused about which month I was talking about when I brought up the pet parlor. Does it matter which month you started it above the credit card limit and then spend on it? So f*** you would be my response. That just shows it's even worse.
You're making my mouth work overtime today. This is insane. This is so dumb. You think it's okay and excusable because I didn't remember which one. Which actually means that I around every single month to make it bad every single month.
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If that makes it any better. No. I honestly... Honestly, I didn't even listen to any words you just said there because none of the words you've said this episode have been honestly good. It's all bull. It's all bull. You don't have any sense of logic that makes any sense. I just feel like you're not understanding me. Then explain it in a different way to try to make it break through to me. Try it in a different way. A different way that you haven't done yet. Um... Hmm. I have that card.
I feel like I was only using it when... No, I'm not going to say that. No, say it. I was going to say that I feel like I only use it when I have to, but that's not true either. The way I see it is if I can pay off these cards... But you can't. I can't.
You haven't, and we've done the math, so good luck. I can pay off these cards. Okay. Okay. We can all say things that aren't true. Sure, go ahead. Well, I will pay off these cards, and then I have, like, it's not going to take me that long to pay off the cards, I don't think. What do you mean? If I buckle down and do it, pay off the cards. Buckle down, good luck. I can do it. If I put my mind to something, I will do it. I just haven't, like, done it.
That is a custom buckle. But it's like my time limit is coming. It's almost done with school. And then I put a time limit on myself for a baby next year. So maybe that's like what I needed. Motivation. But we know what it takes to get there, which that's my fifth time saying this, which means literally nothing gets through to you. So all of a sudden you're set on this kid. Are you a hobby jumper?
I am. And this kid's going to be the new hobby. This is what it sounds like to me. No. That makes so much sense. Kids are different. No. I don't think so. To you, I think it's a hobby. No. I 100% think so. What are your hobby jumps? I like to crochet. Yeah. And paint. Yeah. And... Talk about the jumps and how much money you put into them. You wouldn't know because you don't track your money. I don't. I know I spent quite a bit on painting because I had to buy like canvases and paints and paint brushes. Um...
I also tried to do my own nails, so I bought like nail set and stuff. Great. They look like nothing. Well, because they're not done yet. I'm going on a bachelorette this weekend, and they will be done then, this weekend. Continue. I bought a hiking app. Did not. For what? I wanted to start hiking. Did you? No. But I still can, because I still have the app, and it doesn't like cancel until March or something. Okay.
of next year it's like a yearly thing why why would you do that because i feel like in my mind if i spent money on it i was like okay then like you spent this money you have to do it but you didn't but i didn't oh girl sake you're losing me here you're losing me what the fuck are we doing what a joke what a joke
I had good intentions. You're just jumping. No, buddy. I honestly, I don't know what your intentions are. I don't think you know what your intentions are. You jump between things. You want to have a kid. It's your next hobby. This is stupid. You started a car to car. Shut the fuck up. It is not a hobby. It is to you with the way you do things. That's all I've dreamed about. It's like for real. That's what I'm meant to do. Yeah. All you do is just eat McDonald's every day and that's what you're going to do for them. My gosh. No, I'm not. And as a fellow, fellow fat guy, get it.
I mean, I love me some McD, dude. Oh, McGangbang. Listen, I'm not deep enough in the McDonald's lore to have the shit you got. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. I don't live my life there like you. Okay, look, you take a McDouble. No, I don't even want to hear it. It's going to disgust me. Split it in half. It's disgusting me. You put a McChicken in between there. I'm becoming disgusted. I'm vomiting right now. McGangbang.
$67. Okay. So, yeah, your purchases, curbside, groceries, okay. You know, it does cost a little more, typically. There's a little bit of a surcharge. Stop! Can you take that thing off? Sorry. It is obnoxious. It is beyond obnoxious. It matches your personality so much. Obnoxious. Go green botanical garden, snacks and munchies, taco cabana, chick-fil-a, and going in and getting some bull...
Yeah. Lunch. Real important when we have a kid, when we can't pay off debt, when we're starting it above the credit card limit. Yeah. That's for lunch. Lunch. And then the good green. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! I can't even, like, say the words. I've said them so many times, I can't even, like, say the words. I... What? You're, like...
I don't want to make you mad. Are you f***ing shut? Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. That's okay. Don't. Bread. Sauce of choice. Condiment. Meat of choice. Yeah. Lettuce of choice. Tomatoes if desired. Bread. Yep. Packed up. Taken to work. Consumed. Wow, we just saved so much money. So much money. And time. And time.
You already curbside groceries. You already curbside the groceries. Yeah, that's really a blessing. Curbside. I don't know. I guess when I'm like thinking about or when I buy groceries, it's never like... Oh, the food that I should eat instead of going out to eat? No, but like it's like since I don't know how to cook, I'm just buying like I look at recipes, buy the recipes, and then that's like all I can make with that. Whatever I bought from H-E-B. Why are you even buying at Target?
Everything. I can show you if you want. You can show me? Yeah, curbside. Okay. Curbside groceries and curbside Target is the best. Okay, curbside. Yeah, so. Oh, so you purchase in-app? In-app and in-store, but I type my number in. Oh, okay. For return purposes if you ever need. Oh, good. Trash. Meat.
um well actually i feel like her her custom cooked meal is um spaghetti and sauce but that's okay that's one listen it is cheap i'm not gonna make fun of it i'm not gonna make fun of it you just made it sound so much more learning to cook earlier uh pre-workout that pre's holding some weight okay this is your ryan the new kendra scott
That was for... Kendra Scott! Thank goodness! Good! That was for... I do like to shop, but that was not for me. That was for my stepmom's Christmas present, I think. Fuck your step...
Are you guys married? My stepmom. Oh, stepmom. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I was hearing mother-in-law. No, not married to my stepmom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But also fuck your stepmom, because I don't care. No, fuck Christmas. You want to have a kid. Put your kid over your stepmom when it comes to Christmas. Christmas, it's Christmas. You'll have so many more Christmases. Shut the fuck up. This is the first year I could actually do it. Endless amount of tampons.
Do need tampons. I know, we gotta clean up after the McGang gang. That was pretty funny. You just get bags of cheese but nothing else with it. You can make sausage wraps. That's one thing I do. We got bleach and bags of cheese. The classic combination. Endless, endless clothes. Endless amount of clothes. Also, stitches.
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Stitch Fix. That's like another subscription. What? Oh, a subscription box? Come on. That can be fun, but that's for people out of debt. It can be fun, but that's for people out of debt. You could totally get clothes cheaper. Also, I assume you have clothes. Do you have clothes? I have clothes. I have... I feel... I have clothes in my closet. I just like never can find an outfit or put anything together. So Stitch Fix. What are you, broken? Can you not look? I'm confused. You also have a boyfriend to help put him on a mission. It's still like...
It just never looks good after you wear it a couple of times. Then don't look good. Well, I don't want to do that either. Cool. So you don't want to be able to afford to have a kid. No, I do. I just, I don't have to be ugly, ugly and have a kid. Like I can be hot and have a kid. Surprisingly not like buying a ton of makeup at Target. Cause a lot of my friends, they buy makeup at Target. Cause I buy makeup at Ulta. Okay. So how much we spend on makeup?
Maybe like $70 a month, if that. That's not that bad. This is everything adding up. It's everything adding up. Your math isn't mathing. Yeah. I'm just accruing. I mean, it's $49 just in a single month. I just... You just what? What possibly do you just? Whenever I need something, I buy it. I'm very... You have a misconception about the word need. You do not need $1,000 at McDonald's.
I do not. But I wanted to eat and I didn't pack a lunch. Right. You needed to pack a lunch. Needed. Maybe you should have listened to that need. I don't know, dude. I don't fucking know. Bank of America. Yeah. I just feel like... Call your boyfriend for me. Call him. Let's see if he will answer. Can we put on the speaker? What are you going to ask him? This is the quietest phone I've ever invented.
I think so. Also stop using his real name. Could text him and tell him to call me back when he gets a chance. Hi. You piece of shit. Okay. Is it on Do Not Disturb? Yes, sir. On Do Not Disturb it. So that if he calls back, we can hear. So Bank of America, $281.56. Not a crazy balance, but also... But that's... I mean...
I'm sorry. What? That's all they will give me and I paid $300 to have that card. Good. F*** you. You need to learn your lessons when it comes to... Listen, you can use the Fizz card. It's connected to your checking account so you can only spend what's in your checking account, which is what you need, honestly. But it still builds your credit. But for f*** sake, listen, you're at your credit limit. You made your minimum monthly payment, but then you spent more on it than you even put towards it. Why again are we possibly spending money? F***.
If I had to guess, it was probably... You had to guess. Great. You don't even know. Oh, my gosh. Food, if I had to guess. But I've had that card for three years. I requested two increases, and they haven't given it to me. Do you not see how that is a good thing? Do you legitimately not see how that is a good thing? Okay. The reason I'm trying... And I'm also... I'm going to tell you. I did apply for an Apple card, and they gave me, like, a path...
to follow pretty much to approve me. So they didn't deny me, but they didn't approve me either. So, but the only reason I'm doing that is because Credit Karma said people- You cannot have access to credit card. You can't manage it. You can't manage credit to save your life. I feel like I really, I feel like I can. I just up. I need to- What? If you could, you wouldn't have to basically max out credit cards. What are you talking about?
what are you talking it's right now i have nothing motivating me but now i do i have a kid now guys no you're taking that out of context are you kidding me you've wanted to have a kid forever shut the up i know a kid didn't just exist yesterday for you but what the it's becoming more real i don't think i don't think i don't think you're not a real person
you're not a human that exists i am this is a dream i'm in a dream you are a mythical beast maybe it's delusional to you but now it's becoming more real for me he's gonna graduate the end of this year and then bam now it's time this is like actually but with twenty thousand hours of debt twenty thousand dollars of emergency fund that you should probably have plus bills he's gonna have to take care of and he's getting an interest salary plus his student loans or whatever debt he has
I actually did ask him, and he's very good with money. He only has... What did he say? He only has $7,000 in student loans. In student loans? No, in student loans. Wow! That's it. His car's paid off. Yeah.
Why he puts up with you? Because he doesn't have to put up with me. I put up with myself. No. I'm taking care. If you guys are going to get married, if you're going to have kids, oh, he's going to have to put up with you. That's why I'm taking care of this now. No, you are not. Do you not know what words are? Do you not know what words are? I'm trying.
You're like fucking Twitter that throws out Bud's words endlessly. You just throw out words, but you don't know what the actual meaning of them are. Everything you say is meaningless. I'm being so mean, but you're just, like, you're not saying real things. No, because I just feel like you don't understand. I'm wanting. He's like, you don't know what those words mean. This is where I need to take care of it. I want to take care of it. Yes, okay. Okay. God.
Wait, you're not doing f***ing anything. I'm going to start. Then why didn't you start? Let's hear that. Why didn't you start? If you want the real answer, I just started watching you in October. Oh, guys, I'm sorry.
Jake Lindsay, October. Hey guys, guess what? Audience, October. She started watching us in October. She started watching us six months ago. We're looking at the last month. She put two credit cards to the max. One was over max. The other one is just spending a thousand hours at McDonald's. Guys, but I just started learning about finances a half a year ago. What are you talking about? Well, I started watching you in October. That's when I wanted to change everything. But then I got a puppy. I got a puppy.
Lady, lady, do you not realize that a child is even more intense than a puppy? Yes, the puppy was kind of unexpected because... That's not puppies work. It is not like a kid world. Whoopsie. Oh, there it goes. No. They created something. No, because I had been texting the breeder since like...
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She was like I have a litter coming in October. That's an accident. Oh The accident was I've been telling my boyfriend I was showing him pictures and he was like no we're not getting a dog No, we're not getting a dog. No, we're not getting dog. Finally. It was around my birthday and she texted me and I like what's September it was like hey our puppies will be ready until I told him and he was like, oh
Well, do you want it? And so then I had to like scramble to get money to pay for my half of the dog because I did really want it. He's very cute. I also have a cat. Her name is Stella and she's a Siamese.
So I have Maverick the poodle and Stella the Siamese. I was being out of pocket, but also getting my frustrations out of me. It's a healthy way to cope. Because you're impossible to discuss words with. I'm really trying. I'm trying. There's another use of a word that is incorrect. What's a better word for that then? So when did you get a dog? October. I got a dog in October, and then it was my birthday. So the day you started watching.
Yes. But I had to. This was like my opportunity. He'd been saying no forever. And then finally it's yes. And it's like, no, I think I just like kept asking. He's very, I think he loves me. So I hope so. And dog. Well, no, I was talking about my boyfriend loved me enough to say yes. So if you're going to have a kid with him. Yeah. Sake, dude. It was winning and got some probably vapes. Yeah. Well, yes, vapes. But on the subject of we had this year.
What should she have had this year? Probably a late fee. Was it a late fee? Pull up your app then. I'll find the fee. Pull it up. Which one? Bank of America? The car we're talking about. The car? Duh. Oh. I was like, what? Um...
I feel like that is your mental response to almost every sentence you hear. Wait, you're going to be so mad, Caleb. I already am. My dog also was only—for a designer dog, he was only $1,500, so that's not, like—and I only had to pay half of it, so $750. And he's the love of my life. I think it was worth it. Okay, her balance has actually only gone up, so I don't actually add—put a nine to it.
Eh. You do nothing but inhale toxins. Hey, but I run. You know the same stuff in aerosol is in vapes? That confound? That is the mess. It is not literally water vapor. It is aerosol substances. We don't know the long-term effects yet.
And many more studies are coming out about and it's really has no actual scientific upsets. The week I swear it's only like one hit at night and I'm every day. Oh, not every day. Maybe I said one hit at night, one hit at nighttime. Sometimes, sometimes, sometimes guys is to get chicken express. That's why the balance went up. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, that's crazy.
I don't think there's any late piece on there. You don't think. There shouldn't be. I gotta not be so mean to you. This is impossible. You just upset me. You just upset me. I'm sorry, but... No, you're not. No, you're not. Bank of America? Fucking sucks. I don't know if you passed. I don't know if you left the past.
Can I tell you something? No, maybe. Okay. I'm going to. So on the Bank of America, there should only be a late fee from like when I first got the card. When did you first got the card? Three years ago. And I just like, it was my first ever credit card. No, there's been a fee this year and I need to look and figure out what the fee was. Okay. There shouldn't be. I am looking and I am finding I am in past statements. Okay. I found it. It's in January. Let's find out what it is. Should we find out what the fee is, lady? Should we find out what the fee is? The fee.
I'm very interested because I don't... You made a purchase that was essentially transacting as like a... Almost like a cash equivalent purchase and you got a transaction fee for it. So what does that mean? Let me see what purchase that applied for. Cash equivalent. You got something that was cash equivalent. You may have pulled out cash on accident. Like something...
But I can't figure out which one of these purchases it would have applied to. I don't think I've ever pulled cash off my... Well, again, it may have honestly been an accident. But you paid three bucks for it. Yeah, because I think I'm very proud... Don't. Of making sure that at least my payments are on time. Very proud of that. And then also, my income should be going up a little bit more. Okay. Well...
I wish that was good news. I don't know how much yet. She told me I would be getting a raise. Oh, but she didn't tell you what? No.
My boss is also my best friend. And so I think something... Trust me, it's not a good dynamic. No, I know. But I'm also very proud on the fact that we are very good about being work and friends. I know. But trust me, they don't feel like they can do their job. Well, that's what I told her too. And so that's why when she first brought up the raise, I was like, no, I just feel like this is a pity raise. And she said, no, I swear I've been thinking about this since...
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Timber. La la la la la. As long as I'm president of the United States, Iran will never be allowed to have.
So I don't know how much, but that should be coming.
In September? Yeah. Oh, my. So this is basically it's not even we don't even know who even so far. That's so that's nothing. No, not. She told me she's been thinking about it since September. It's even worse. She didn't give you anything. She's been thinking about it since September. She told you she's going to get something that she's been thinking about since September, but she won't do. No one's got any since then.
Is the business failing? I don't know. Is it not doing very well? No. Like, I don't know. I think it's just like we're waiting. For? I don't know. Oh, my gosh. I don't know. This means nothing. But. She's your best friend. Yeah. So I can talk to her. Can I talk to her about this? Um, yeah. Okay. I'm going to call her on the post show. I'm going to call her on the post show because this is already running long. Oh, and there's still some more documents to go through. Okay.
Okay. But be sweet to her. She's like the worst in my life. I don't care. She's so sweet. Great. Not sweet enough to actually give you the money that she said she was going to give you. Great. She's sweet still. Listen, if you need therapy after that conversation, I'll gift you three therapy sessions to Sondermine. No. It's what our audience uses. It's what you should use. That's a good plug. Is this... I don't know. I've lost it. I just... I don't have hope in you. I'm sorry. No, don't say that. I'd say it happens one out of every ten recordings.
And it's happening here. No, don't say that because I really respect you. I really do. Oh, thank you. I do. And so you can't tell me you don't have hope in me because that's why I came here. It's because like you yelling. You've been watching for six months and you've done nothing except actually get worse. This is very personal. So you yelling at me is probably what I need. Yeah, but someone like you, I've seen people like you. No, you've never seen anyone like me. You've never seen anyone. I promise you, you're not unique. I am.
The least unique individual I've ever met in my life. You are wrong about that. I don't like everyone else that's been on. Maybe financial wise. Maybe not like when I say I'm going to do something, I'll do it wise. You're right. Not everyone goes to McDonald's every day. Well. Okay, what is this? Consumer credit disclosure.
You finance. It's 100.3% interest. You're right. Maybe you're not like others. You're fucking delusional. What is this? That one's very bad. Oh, is it? It is. I would say so. I believe this is bad. What is it? That is a loan I needed. Needed. Here's the word need again. Because I didn't want to borrow money from anyone. So we get 100% interest. Yeah. Yeah, go on, please. Because I had bought Maverick, the puppy. Okay.
And then I need. You can't have a kid. I need it. You cannot have a kid. No. Yes, I can. Yes, I can. No. I will. No, no, no. You're 100% interested in a rate for a f***ing dog. You cannot have a kid. You cannot have a f***ing kid. Well, that was just. You cannot have a f***ing kid. Really, it was like. You cannot have a f***ing kid. Cover the bills after the dog. There's not a chance in this world you can have a kid. Not a chance in this world you can have a kid. No, I'm going to. You are the furthest away from ever being able to have a kid. Do not have a kid. Do not have a child. No, no, no. You are wrong. You are going to take out payday loans for this kid. No.
No. There is nothing to suggest that I am wrong, but everything to suggest that I am right. You got a dog and you took out a 100% interest rate loan for something related. Yeah. What? What did you even take it out for? Because. I think I bought the dog and then I needed like some bill came up and I had like. Bill's. I was unprepared for the dog. So. But it was my only opportunity. I'm telling you. I had to. That was not for dogs always are born. Not Maverick.
I planned to pay it right back. Yeah? You planned to? I planned to. Yeah, and guess what will happen? Please, inform us all. I think something else came up. Oh, nothing ever comes up, right, for you? And so I had to just make the payment on it. That one, I know, that one's pretty crazy. I didn't want to do it. But you did it. You didn't need to get the dog, okay.
Oh, this was in October, the month you started watching the show. And got the dog. And recently I did... How'd you even find this loan? This is a horrible interest rate. Where did you even find this? I just typed in loan, Googled loan near me. I'm telling you, it was a quick thing because I realized too late and I didn't want to borrow money from anybody. I never bought much. This is the stupidest loan I've ever seen in my life. But now it's worth a trillion dollars now. It's like $500 still.
I don't know. Well, it might be... I did refinance some. Or, like, bump it up. What? A little bit. Wait, what does that mean? Like, so I got it paid down to, like, $100. And then recently, I needed... Oh, because I had covered someone's part on The Bachelorette. And so, I got... Guys. I just got $300 more. Yeah. But I had to. I just...
I had to. You don't even know what to work. You stop it. Stop it. Oh. Answer it. Is that him? Yeah. Answer it. What the fuck is wrong with your girlfriend, dude? What the fuck is wrong with your girlfriend? What possibly is wrong with this? What happened? Do you even know her existence? I do. How much debt does she have? I would say around three to four. Thousand? Thousand?
Yes. $20,000. You know more than me, babe. Don't. She almost paid off her payday loan. Did you even know she had a payday loan? She had a f***ing payday loan. Did you know that? No. Well, she had a f***ing payday loan. She almost paid it off, and then she took it all the way back up again. Yeah, no, that's news to me. This f***ing Kenny G wannabe over here is endlessly...
going into debt to spend a thousand dollars a month on mcdonald's yeah she wants you to blow her up with your nut so she can pop out a kid i'm right there with you brother i agree 100 yeah so you're not gonna have a kid right because you can't even have a dog yeah cope your life way your way through it right no kid
No, yeah. I mean, we've got to get something under control before we even think about supporting another person. And you might be able to. I hear you only have student loans. Is that correct? I have one loan out for $3,000. That's for student loans. I took that out this semester. I have one more semester until I graduate. That's the only debt I have. Thank you. What is she going to do? What is she going to do? She does nothing but... And she's just smiling here like a disgusting... Oh, my gosh.
I'm sorry. I'm raging. I am actually raging. I feel my blood coursing. I am raging. I am raging. Okay. It's something that needs to be discussed for sure. Great. Absolutely. Fantastic. You didn't know how much debt she has.
You guessed about 25% of it. You didn't know she has a payday loan, 100% interest, 150% interest. Yeah, all she does is just payday loan. You guys got a dog. It's an accidental dog. Whoopsie. I accidentally chose to adopt a dog. Oh no, accidents, right? And she can't afford to take care. You're going to bail her out. She's going to go into more debt. She can't control herself. She can't not
She can cook one meal a week. She has to get high every night before she goes to bed. There's nothing she can do in life successfully except for somehow hold it down a job. Let me guess, it's only because her boss is her best friend. Yeah, no, we've talked about, you know, planning a budget and everything like that. But as far as sticking to it, it's yet to be seen. But it's something she's working on for sure. This has been beyond enraging. I can't even express.
I can't even express, buddy. Like this actually, um, kind of sucks. I hear you. I hear you. I don't, I don't know what to do with her. How do I, like literally I can't get things through to her. I can't get things through to her. I, I try to explain the math that it takes to be able to have a kid in a year. By the way, do you want to have a kid in a year and a half? I'd like to graduate. I'd like to land a good job before I, before I have a kid. Uh,
Once that's done, I think we'll be able to handle it. But at this time and point, no, I don't think a kid is in the picture. Yeah, she would need to spend $2,500 on a monthly basis to pay off her debt and have a fully funded emergency fund by the time you have a kid in a year and a half. So I don't think that's going to happen.
Is the thing. And she can't listen to me. I explain that and then she says, oh, I'll just cut back a little bit and I'll be out of debt. It's the process. It's going to happen. I want to do it. I learned about the show six months ago. It's all going to be good. Everything's going to be fine. I cut back a little. I can't get through to her and I'm pissed.
I look like an asshole on camera right now, 100%, but people do not realize how absolutely enraging this is to have to talk to someone like this. To literally have to. This is my requirement for the day, is to do... I'm not going to complain. But this is so... Maybe I am. I don't know. I don't know. But how are you going to deal with this, buddy? Because I don't have a way. I don't know. I was kind of hoping that...
when she got the call they know to come on the show that she could get some some sense talk some sense or maybe like shed some light on some situation she can't comprehend words and then she uses words that don't make the definitional sense of the word she's using like i said we've had conversations in the past about budgeting about cutting back and everything like that but um
I think hearing it from someone like yourself, I think that would help. As long as she's open to change and open to... She doesn't know what she has to do and she refuses to accept anything. Listen, just one word of recommendation. No, one recommendation to walk away with for you. One word of recommendation. No, just one recommendation for you, buddy. You're on the green. Please don't try to sink one in this hole. Run. I'm out of here.
What the heck? Listen, I don't know. This is beyond stupid. I mean, it's so f***ing dumb. That one is bad. I know. What? That one is the worst. The other ones weren't that you continually max out. The other ones weren't. The other ones actually were not. Huh? Were the other ones not? No, I'm just saying. Exactly. F***ing stupid loan. Yeah. $3,000 virus. Great. We're not f***ing doing anything.
Oh, okay. Oh my gosh. Okay. I need a second. Can you have something pleasant that you're able to tell me just for a moment? Because this has been so far an hour and 15 minutes. It's just like I'm broken. I can tell you, show you pictures of my dog. No. No. Because that dog is dead. Well, the loan also was like a way to try and build credit and
The IRS loan? No. The payday loan? Yeah. You thought that would put a smile on your face? No, I didn't think. But the kinda, I'm trying to build credit. And the fact that I'm on a payment plan, that's good. That's progress. Forced payments. Not forced. They didn't make me do that. You put yourself on a payment plan so you're forced to make payments.
Because you can't manage your own money. Because I cannot pay $6,300 right now. We could have budgeted out over a course of a few months, I bet you. Could try. Car. Don't even look at this. I don't even see the, what's the balance? I don't see it. I just see the minimum payment. Like $10,000. Let's log in. You want me to see? At what interest rate? Ooh, 24. Yeah, let's see.
Let's see. No, thanks. Balance. Yeah. 23.52. And the balance is $10,811.84. But it's the first car I could find. And I really needed a car. My other one, I wrecked it. I had, yeah, bad wreck. Total three cars. And then I had to find another car. You totaled three cars. Yeah. I did. I did.
Yeah. It was an accident. Yeah? Like your birth? Caleb, that probably wasn't an accident. A term that's probably a billion years long and a minimum payment you can't afford. What am I doing here? What a waste of fucking... Thanks for wasting my afternoon. Yeah. What the fuck, though? I don't feel good. I walk away feeling good when there's a path that I can get people on. When people come back on the follow-up channel and they have... I didn't think...
Exactly. $100 in our checking accounts. Just Starbucks, Apple, crab restaurant, rooster. It's all bullshit. It's all another page of bullshit. For fuck's sake, man. For fuck's sake. It's all just $11 in savings. I'm sorry. Yeah, it's a mess right now, but achievable to fix. Not by you.
That's what you think. That's what I know. No. I've seen, I've done this for three years. That's where you're wrong. Also, I guess maybe now's a good time to tell you that my boss pays for my phone and my car payment. Why did your boyfriend have to cover your phone bill? Because I probably went somewhere else. And when I said that's like once in a blue moon, it really is. It's like once in...
Maybe, like, every six months when I just, like, up. I'm just—I'm thinking of this in the moment out of just—I hate this. I am here. This is a real fucking conversation happening right now.
I know when we're just sitting here watching it after the fact, it's like, oh, you don't understand how rage-inducing this actually is. Going through four of these conversations all week for three years, you can't use words. You are...
about everything you say. Everything is broken here and you're not going to do anything. And it's all so that you can just sit on your ass all day if we're being completely honest because you've hopped on a new hobby of having a kid. I'm done. I'm done. And I, Jake, please mute her because I no longer want to hear her face. They can't hear you. They can't hear you. Please get up. Please get up. Up.
Stand! Okay. She's sweet. And go over there where I'm going to put you in the green room and I'm going to have 10 minutes of the post show without having to look at you because you annoy the f*** out of me. And I'm annoyed.
And this sucks. And this isn't the best look of me. I'll be honest. But this is the reality of what's actually happening here sometimes. And I'm being done. Don't end up like that. Okay? Download the Simple Budget app and you won't. Join us in the post show. After 10 minutes of calming down, we'll bring her in. I'll call her boss, but... I just feel like it's wrong. No offense, Caleb. Caleb!
That you're ramped up again. You were kind of rude to me. The personalities that I despise the most in this entire f***ing world. Lindsay's going to call the boss and get that raise out of her. Save this woman's income. To watch the Financial Audit Post Show, click the Join button below.