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Yeah, because I was like, you're such a good boy. You get some AirPods. I was like, what the f*** are you doing? You can't- Download my budgeting app today and take control of your money once and for all. And for a limited time only, sign up for the annual version of premium and get my cookbook and notebook signed and mailed directly to you. Link in the description and pin comment below. Hi, my name's Jeanette. I'm 26 years old. I'm from Cape Coral, Florida, and this is Financial Audit.

I'm a dumb bitch and can't stop buying stupid shit. I don't need. LOL. That was her opening line in her application to be on the show. A self-described dumb bitch. You got it. Okay. So, you know what's interesting? And we talk about this in a lot of episodes. And I think I can naturally bring it up here. If I go out and about...

Let's just say, you know, I'm trying to think of an analogy right now. I'm trying to think of an example. I go out and about and I realize I'm wearing a pair of shoes. And every time I wear this pair of shoes, I get...

You know, what are those little bumps called? Blisters? A blister, and it hurts. Every fucking time. Every single time. Typically, what I do is I figure out, maybe I shouldn't wear those shoes. Because I realize this. Your application is self-defining. You know you're the dumb bitch who can't control her spending. Why aren't you wearing a different pair of shoes? Like, I feel like this shouldn't even be a conversation we need to have. I don't mean to come in intense, but like...

I mean, that's pretty basic. If I want to change something and I know that I can know things are wrong. Right. But maybe I don't have that extra incentive to change it. I know what I eat is necessarily wrong. You know, sometimes when I, you know, have some bad food, it's not like the most life impacting thing for me. So I don't really care. So I don't change that. But if there is something I care about, I do what is necessary to change it. This would suggest if you are on this show and you are self-realizing what is bad.

You actually do not want to change it. But I also love Don't... I love Amazon. Okay, Basis doesn't know you exist, so I don't...

Okay, what on Amazon? What is worth it? It's all overnight. Stuff that I can't get at Walmart. Like dog treats and like... Dog treats overnight? Dog treats? Why don't you just go to fucking Petco? Go to Petco real quick. Because it's easier for Amazon. It's overnight. It comes at four in the morning. I wake up and it's there. Yeah, but you'd have Petco that evening. Okay, it doesn't even matter anyway. Either way, it would be shopping. I mean, if it's just dog treats every once in a while, that's not the craziest thing in the world. I buy dog treats like every day.

I don't know. I mean, I know. How many dogs do you have? Well, I have my dog and I also take care of puppies. And then my dad has three dogs. Is that your job? It's like my side. Wait, what do you do for a living? That's my usual first question. So I handle accounts receivable for an engineering firm. What do you make? $22 an hour. What's the scoff? I literally can't believe people show up for $22 an hour. Do you show up for $22 an hour? Yeah, but I don't want to.

But you do. Why are you calling out other people? You do. Right. It's just not. How many hours a week do you work when you show up that you can't believe people do? I'm supposed to be there for 40 hours. I usually swing about 35. But I usually swing about 35 if it's supposed to be 40. Because I'm doing like my dog stuff on the side. I have clients. Oh, do you get paid for that? Yeah. Okay. If you get paid for that, then I mean, it's fine. But $22 an hour, you're saying, I can't believe people show up. Why the do you have that job then?

I guess because it's hard to find something more than that. I mean, if you don't have skills or resume capabilities or interview techniques, yeah.

Well, I'm actively looking for more than $22 an hour. Well, I'm glad you look at the jobs. I'm actively applying for jobs. With a good resume, with good interview skills that have been practiced? I would say good interview skills. I mean, 26, okay. I would believe you would have some job experience with that. Yeah. So what's the issue? How long have we been looking? Since I got hired at this job, so maybe like seven months? Yeah.

You've been looking for seven months. Yes. What are you looking for if $22 an hour isn't acceptable to you? What hits your account on a monthly basis from this job? Maybe like three-ish, $3,200. Why aren't you surviving? Because everything's expensive. I've got my dogs. Yeah, maybe don't buy the expensive things. Yeah. That's what the rest of us do if we can't afford something. That makes sense, for sure. But I like quality. I like quality stuff. Uh-huh.

Like, the word you just used was like. Quality. Yeah, but you said you like it. Oh, yeah, yeah. Like, okay, that's not a necessity. If it's not a necessity, what? It makes you comfy, though. Don't you like being comfy? Right? Expensive stuff's comfy. And quality can last longer. What are you doing? You're smirking. I'm trying to convince you that it's not necessarily that bad. Why the f*** are you on this show, then? I'm literally a dumbass.

Did you hear what you just said in the last 30 seconds? That I like dumb bullshit. I mean, you're correct that you're a dumb bitch if what you just said in the last 30 seconds is what you believe and then you just said you want to get out of this and want to change. Beyond, beyond conflicting statements. You said there, guys, getting expensive stuff is so cute. It's so cutesy. I really want to change. What the fuck are you talking about? Well, why can't I have both?

True. But what if we do the math so I can have some knife and then cut out... So why haven't you budgeted that then? I'm trying. I don't know. I've cut out like a lot of stuff. What is the fuck is your personality? What the fuck is that? What? Oh my gosh. Okay, I've only met a couple people like you. Oh my god. This is what kills me. Is like, I'm like seeing their personality for the first time in my life. Where you're like that goofball. You have that goofball energy. Take it fucking serious!

Yes. See? I'm taking it very seriously. I do have a lot of debt and I do need to get out of it. I also need to stop buying dumb sh**. Then why don't you? Because it's easy to buy dumb sh**.

I understand it's easy. Why are you not putting in mechanisms? Why are we not putting in coping skills? Why are we not putting in a budget? Why are we not putting in effort? I know it is easy. I know it is easy. We got that. We have established. Why aren't you doing anything to prevent you or just because something is easy doesn't mean you do it. It's easy to go jump off the roof if you want to. Doesn't mean you can do. So why aren't you doing anything to counteract it if you actually want to change?

The most real answer is that I'm a dumb bitch. That's not going to get me very far, and I need to stop being a dumb bitch, for sure. Oh my gosh. Do you have a real answer? Like, why you haven't done anything? What have you tried to do and it hasn't worked? I've locked some of my credit cards so I can't spend them, like my Apple card, and I switched my T-Mobile to, like, Mint Mobile, so that saves me a bunch of money. Bunch of money? That's a step, right? I feel like I'm moving slowly in the correct direction. Which is why we spent double what you made last month.

That's slowly in the right direction. Slowly. Oh, there she is. She's trying to be cute, guys. So f***ing cool. You're looking good, and you're looking great on camera right now. Everyone's really appreciating your cutesy little attitude. Okay. So f*** you. This isn't slowly moving in the right direction unless you're spending four times, three times your income. Now you're spending two times, and we're like, yay. No, you don't get a high five for that.

What are you doing? $3,266 came in, and that adds up with what you said. That was through payroll. And we had cash after $330. Was that the dog stuff? Yes. Okay. So, $3,600. Okay. Not horrible.

But you could be making more if you went in. Actually, I'm confused. Okay. Did you have a job before this, before this job that you look down upon? Yes. So what is your work experience? What can we turn into an effective resume? Okay. So from the time that I was 19 to 25, I was a contract coordinator for a real estate investment company, and I worked there for seven years. Okay.

So, and I was making so much money there. I was making $35 an hour. So what the f***? Why? Why'd you change? I got fired. Why? Honestly. Oh, f***. Here comes when someone says honestly and then they don't say the honest thing. Yeah, go for it. Honestly, I think it was some petty s***. There it is. What?

I mean, the boss was kind of like an old, groomy, weird man, and there was only two... I don't know what that means in that context. Is it internet grooming where they never used the word correct, or is it he didn't take care of his facial hair? No, like childhood grooming. Internet grooming where they never used the word correct. Sure. Okay. Okay. Yes. He was a creepy, weird man. Did he literally separate people from their entire support system from an underage...

way in order to take them away from the support system once they turned of age and then

slept with them but they could never leave because they no longer have a support system? Did he literally groom them? Or were we just using that word because he was a little weird? It was a little bit less than how you described it. Okay, so let's not use words we don't mean. This isn't Twitter. Words have real-world consequences. Stop being a sensationalist. Gotcha. He was a weird man. A weird four-year-old man. There you go. A real... Okay, so he was weird. Yeah.

I believe this started with you got fired from a job. Yes. So why are we talking about a weird man? Because he was my boss. He was the owner of the company. He was weird and he was mean and he was psychotic. Go on. Now we're using more buzzwords real quick. What was he actually? What was he actually? What did he do that would define those things? He would come in and scream at everyone. Scream why? What was the reason? He would literally call people like,

tell you like are you stupid like why'd you can do this like you don't know what you're doing certainly what steve job jeff bezos has done and they built great companies i'm not defending it but that is what other people have done that's not how i like to do it and it doesn't feel good i agree but we're using the word psychotic and we're doing a lot of things so go ahead why did he do it what was the reason though the reason why i was fired the actual reason i was fired was no why was he yelling oh

He was unstable, like bipolar. What was the reason he yelled? Yeah, but what was the thing that caused, I'm asking? I'm not defending it, but let's have more context because you sound like the person that starts a Twitter thread. He would come in at 10 o'clock and when we were supposed to be there at 8 and just scream at everyone. Why though? What happened before? Are you guys on the phone?

Why aren't you on the phone? Were you supposed to be on the phone? Not me particularly, but... The person he told to? Yeah, the bullpen. Okay, so that's the reason. It's just I don't feel like that's the way to handle it. No, I agree. It's not the proper way to handle it. However, it wasn't he... I agree. However, it's not like he just went in and he just started screaming for no reason. That was his leadership method. Wasn't good. You're allowed to leave it. It is not illegal. So...

So that just didn't feel right. So that's why you got fired? No. Because the boss yelled at people for not doing their job. That's not why I got fired, but that definitely set the stage for my time at the job. I was constantly on edge. I always felt like I was going to get fired, and then I did after seven years. I was making $35 an hour plus bonus. Yep, which, by the way, I mean, you make the per capita income in Cape Coral.

Congratulations, even though you scoffed at what you make. I just don't. I can't believe people live on it. Okay, well, the median per capita income does. It's crazy. That's just not a lot of money. That's not a lot of money. It's livable. I don't feel like it is. It's livable. Average rent in that area for one bedroom apartment is about $1,652. Utilities, we can take in about $200 for electricity, plus approximately $200 for phone and internet services. Okay.

Food, groceries going about 1% higher than the national average there. And we can range that from $400 to $600. I could get you at about $300. Gasoline looking at $3.39 per gallon. So we're looking at $470 a month. Doctor's visit maybe $158 per appointment. Monthly health care costs $157 for a single adult. Put all that together, you would have a surplus of about $6,000. Yeah, you can survive.

You're not because you prefer cozy shit and then you get fired for something you haven't been able to define yet. I can tell you how I got fired. I would love to hear that. I fucked up a contract. Okay. Sounds like you should have got fired and it wasn't for petty shit. I'd fire someone too if they were their job and replace them with someone who's not their job because you're here to literally do a...

But I was there for seven years. I don't care. It doesn't matter. Why the fuck would that matter? It doesn't. I just feel like I have like... No. If you do not perform, why would they not replace you with someone who would make the same amount of money and will perform better?

I mean, think about it logically. You're not a f***ing teacher's union. Yeah. You don't have that protection, and you shouldn't. It's the f***ing free market. Yeah, but I just felt like after seven years, I was the longest. There was only like three employees that were there that long. That literally doesn't matter. I felt like I was the best person for the job if I'm there that long. Well, you weren't because you were fired because you did f*** wrong. But I f***ed up one thing after seven years. Was it a big f*** up? Kind of. Well, there you go.

You know what that does? You know what that does? And I only fully realized this in the position I'm in now. He can no longer trust you. And when you lose the trust of someone to take care of things that are huge, then you can't reliably put important work on them. Yeah. So I would rather that person not be here.

And replace them with someone that I can trust. If you break the trust, it's hard to earn trust back. In that way. But seven years is a long time. It is a long time. And maybe I wouldn't do that after one instance. But if the person feels like he can no longer trust, it's his organization. Yeah. But still, that sucks. Oh, my gosh. It hurts my heart. I was there for seven years. Yes, you're fired. No one likes getting fired. I grew up there from 19 to 25. Okay.

You're not going to get tears from me. I mean, that's the world of the job market. Like, that sucks. People get laid off all the time. It's a bummer. And you can leave companies for a higher paying job. They can have you leave. You can leave on your own. It's like, don't take it personally. It's business. I take everything personally. Well, you're not going to get places with that. Good luck.

So I can understand how your current wage now, which it's kind of a little gross how you look down on her, I'll be honest. That rubbed me the wrong way and why I'm being a little intense. Because, ew, what the fuck is, like, 22? It's not, is it a living in luxury? No, but survivable for your situation, for your cost of living area. Either way.

Yes, you were making a lot more then, so I can see how now it feels like you're struggling because it is a substantial cut. Huge. But you need to adapt to it, and it is your choice to not adapt to it. Correct.

but it's hard and i know that's not a good excuse i know that's not a good excuse it is hard things are hard all the time for sure are you just gonna give up no if you want to give up let's just move on no i don't want to move up go home i want to pay my credit card off if it's hard put up with it put in the hard work if it's hard and we give up then just give up i don't want to though okay but you've done nothing and i'm not a magic pill i got a new job

You know, I didn't stay unemployed. Not, you know, I got the $22 an hour job. Yes, but you're looking down upon that job. I'm not. Yeah. And you have to adapt to that new income. You're not always going to start at the top of an organization. You're not always going to start seven years into an organization. Sometimes you have to start at the floor and move your way up. That is natural and that is okay. That's not a bad thing. Do you think eight months is a long time without getting a raise? No. Really? No. I was expecting a raise within three months. Why? Because I'm good at my job. That's a little weird.

Weird entitlement. No, a lot of people don't get a raise for like the first year. Jesus. I don't know. I've only had one job. You got raises every three months? Literally. I went from 15 to 16 to 18 to 19 to 20 to 25 with bonus. Yeah, you were there for seven years. That sounds like maybe yearly raises. But I got all my raises within like two years, three years. And then I got capped out. Capped out? They had a cap.

Not cap on commission, but cap on hourly for me. They had a cap for you or a cap for everyone? I don't know what everyone else made. Okay, yeah. It sounds like you were potentially underperforming over the last few years because they did not raise your wage. I mean, my Christmas bonus went up every year. Yeah, that's just them being nice in the Christmas spirit. They kept your wage the same, meaning you were likely not providing value. Let's be honest. I know it sounds so f***ing tribal and it sounds so, you know...

evolutionary but the thing is it is kind of just metrics in the end right it's like if there are other people around you performing better the raises are going to go to them you are not entitled to them certainly after three months and if you're getting capped out a couple years in and then you're going four years no raises that should tell you something i just thought i was making so much money that they were like oh we're not gonna pay her anymore because i was making so much money

Listen, I don't know this guy and he comes in screaming, screaming, screaming. And we've all had emotional days and like things will happen in high stress situations. Okay, I get that. But he sounds like someone that, you know, maybe not be the best leader. But what most leaders do is even if you're making a lot of money, they will give you a raise if you're a high performer because they want to keep you there. And because they also just want to, I mean, that's the big one. Right.

So I guess I was not doing as good as I thought I was. Yes, which is why you were actually fired, not because of some petty bull. It felt like petty bull. What? How was it petty? It just felt... Let's talk about student loans. I know it's something we all want to avoid talking about, but if your private student loans are crushing you, YRefi might be exactly what you need. They don't rely on your credit score alone. They look for borrowers who have the desire and ability to repay. That's a game changer in a market where most lenders only see a number. Interest rates...

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That is 888-YREFI-78. Break free from the high interest trap and get your finances under control once and for all. If it was petty, there would have been something that would have required it to be petty. Like there would have been something that rubbed them the wrong way that wasn't fireable, but then they used this as a reason to fire you. That would be petty. Yes. Was there that? Because you have not told me.

In my opinion, it was petty because there was one other girl in the office. She started getting super... It was like your typical freaking office story. There's two admins and the owner. The owner starts hanging out with the two girls. You know, I didn't really understand what was going on because I was 19. She's three years older than me. He was married, started sleeping with her. 19-year-olds don't understand sex? I mean, I didn't understand. You really are a freaking Twitter user. Keep going. And then...

They started boning. He got divorced from his wife and then they got engaged. And you really didn't understand any of this at 19? No. Maybe we should raise the age of everything to 25 because, wow, these people are not maturing as quick as we did literally just 10 years ago. I agree. I don't want to keep saying I'm a dumb bitch, but I don't understand social issues. I don't know if it's dumb. I think you're literally at the mental state of a child. I think you're just immature. It's not a good thing. It's very unhealthy. For sure.

I'm glad you agree. Wish you would do anything about it. Okay, so you didn't understand that the penis went in the vagina. Keep going. I just didn't understand, like, why he would be hanging out with us and then why they started hanging out. And then it just got kind of, like, competitive. It felt like she didn't want another girl in the office. That's what it felt like to me. That's why I feel like it was petty. Why are you getting that vibe other than the fact that they were boning? Because she was being kind of a bitch. Oh, she was being a bitch to you? Yes. Okay. After they started seeing each other. Were you being a bitch?

No, we were friends like we used to hang out We used to go out to like bush gardens together and dinner and like all kinds of stuff And she got the right to hire and fire. No, she she's not the one that fired me Then why how would it have been petty then because she was boss? She just has to go to the boss and be like, oh, oh fuck. I know she was right about So what is your future then? um

I would like to continue my business, but... Business? The dog stuff? Yeah. The 300 hours a month? Well, that's how much I claim on, like, Cash App and, like, Venmo and stuff. But I get paid cash sometimes. Well, no, that's how much... No, that's how much... Oh. That I don't necessarily deposit.

Okay, go on. I'm not saying that I'm making like a ton of livable money, but like if I could continue to do that, I'm just, I'm not really good at running my business. Well, you spend double what you make in your personal life. I bet that would translate in your business as well if you're making good money in your business. For sure. Keep going. Yeah, I just, I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to get

better. I don't know how to... My logistics are off. What don't you know how to get better? Running my business, owning my business. What part? My pricing, my schedule. Have you looked up median pricing for your area? Yes, but I'm just... I feel bad. I charge everyone pretty much different stuff. I will go three hours north and charge someone $50 a night to sleep at their house and then charge someone $100. I don't know. I just say whatever. I have a really super unorganized...

There's one charge the market demands. Yeah.

that's a change i need to make and i'd also like it's a pretty basic one that you also again have already recognized i'm confused this conversation is so confusing you recognize all these things yet you do none of it i feel like this is a repeated pattern well the clients i have i've had since i've started and i just feel really bad about charging them something different good and bringing that so you'll go out of business and never do this full time congratulations i don't want to i want to okay so choose one what do you want to do i want to

Big dog up. So big dog up and get your shit together. I don't know how. I can change my pricing for sure. Tell them I'm changing my pricing. But that's not going to be the only thing that helps my business. What else then? I would like to get better at...

like, zoning in on my clients rather than, like I said, driving three hours north or an hour south. Hey, so zone in. What do you need to do to get better at that? How do I tell my clients that I already have that I can't help them anymore? I can't help you anymore. But I feel bad. I know I need to. I don't care. Yeah. I'm sorry. It's...

It's business. I know, I know. At that point, you're not f***ing someone over. You're just saying you don't want to drive three hours anymore. It's not like you are truly, like you're ripping up a contract. It feels like breaking up. But you're not. If it was, that would be a different situation. If we signed a contract and you were just ripping it to shreds, yeah, that'd be f***ed. But this is just, you're a contractor to them, you know? It's like, they're just going to find another person on Fiverr. I'm assuming it's like that, right? Yeah.

Yeah, I have a dog person. One moved. So I got a new one. And she's better. Really? That's cool. Yeah. We just stuck around longer. I just, yeah, I need to get better. I'm not good at that. Well, yeah, apparently in any aspect because I'm not. You need to get better in a lot of things and you know what you're doing wrong and the solutions are pretty basic yet you do none of them. I need some fire under my ass.

What would that be? Someone telling you? Stop f***ing this. Oh, come on, dude. You can get the f***ing... Literally, this is the most basic s*** in the world. Anyone would tell you this. This shouldn't change anything. I shouldn't have to tell you this. I really shouldn't. I mean, there might be a budgeting thing in here. We'll make a budget by the end. But so far, this is you just being a child. And that's just like, f***, grow up. Yeah. That's it.

For fuck's sake! How do I grow up if I've been this like, I've been like this for 26 years? What am I supposed to do? Dude, it's all, whatever coping mechanisms and ways to get yourself into discipline you have to do, you experiment with different things, don't you? Find things that work!

Maybe you don't deserve any of this. I think I do. I'm trying. Why? You don't do anything. I'm doing the thing. I'm just not doing the thing to make everything better. Exactly, which is critical. Like, if you're not self-improving in life, I have no respect for you as a human being. Yeah. I care for you as a human, but no respect for you. I don't know. I guess we should get into this. Anything else I need to know before jumping into this episode?

decent stack of debt. Well, I do own a house, a condo. Really? I know. For an immature little bitch, I own a condo. Okay. Which I think is cool. It's owner financed, which again, I don't really know what all that means, but I know that I got a pretty sick deal on it. You have to produce a deal? No, no, no. I said I got like a sick deal on it. Tell me. I feel like I'm basically just renting it. Tell me the deal. All I had to do...

Well, my rent was like $2,200. Tell me the f***ing deal, dude. My mortgage was only $1,200 and it sounded like a really good deal. And then my HOA fees went from... Why don't you say was, was, were, was, were. Is your mortgage, what's your mortgage right now? My mortgage is $1,200, but I... Okay, so this is a debt. Okay, first debt. House, condo. Yes. Good. Love it.

Is it in an area where there's lots of condos or is it kind of in a neighborhood with houses? It's all condos. It's like old people. But condos really, really f***ed me up. Like, I wish I would have bought a house. A condo f***ed you up? Yeah. Was it the stairs? I'm not saying...

No, it's just the HOA. It's just terrible. Okay, so what's your mortgage? $1,200. What's the HOA? $600. Yeah, I mean, you got a condo. But it was only $400 when I closed. Doesn't matter. They always go up. In a year? Do a little bit of research, yes. That's crazy. Well, also big expenses can come up if they need to replace a roof or fix a pool. Get ready for a big chunk of money to be due in like six months or something. Yeah, they can do that. I know. I already paid an assessment of $2,000. It's just like constantly. Yeah. Yeah.

Condos can be f***ed. Yeah, I wish I wouldn't have known that. First rents a proper day, but what was the condo? Horrible mistake. Yeah, terrible. I completely regret it every f***ing day. What's the interest rate? Is there an interest rate? 8%. When'd you get it? November 2023, I closed. Yeah, I could see you getting a rate around there for the... The bank was offering me 9%, and the people that owned it offered me 8%. What was your credit? What's your deal? What's the term? How much do you owe them? Um...

I'm not really sure. I pay them $1,200 a month. For fuck's sake. I think last time I checked, it was like $180. What was the purchase price? $180. What did you put down? Ten. Percent or thousand? Thousand. Okay. $169 is probably what you all want. Yeah, I think it's $16 something. Is it a 30-year term? Yeah. Okay. Okay.

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I had the money in my bank. I had the $10,000, which I thought was awesome. My rent at the time was about $23,000. Did you have an emergency fund beyond that? I did at the time. Okay. At the time. A lot's changed since I was making $100,000. Keep going. Stay on track. My rent was $2,300 plus my utilities and stuff. The deal was presented to me by my coworker at the time like, hey, we're selling this condo. It was your coworker? Yeah. Oh, for fuck's sake. Yeah. Yeah.

Big fucking mistake. Yeah. Yeah. That's weird. Not your coworker now, though. Correct. My previous coworker. Okay. Not the coworker that was the boss. No. Different. But same job. They were like, oh, your rent's $2,300 and all your utilities. Like, we can get you this. You know, it'll be down to $1,200 just a month. And, you know, and you'll be owning it basically. I didn't really look into the fees or what all that meant. Yeah.

um but yeah it seems like a really good deal when you're paying 2300 plus utilities to go to 1200 plus utilities and a four hundred dollars cost why aren't you looking into every i'm so confused i mean i didn't really know i just it's pretty you know like people you can people will let you sign any paperwork it's worth 150 000 according to zillow and zillow usually overestimates some

You'd certainly be losing money if you needed to sell it today. Yeah, 100%. It's only gone down in value since you bought it. Yeah, it's awful. I'm listing it. Like, I'm listing it and I know I'm not going to make any money. I just want to wash my hands of this thing completely. I hate it. It was one of the worst things I've ever done. It says it was sold for $196,000. Oh, yeah. Then that was me. $196,000. I thought it was $180,000.

Oh, for f*** sake. Yeah. Oh, for f*** sake. Yeah. What the f***? What is wrong with you? That is very different, especially when it's only worth $150. Yeah. Yeah. I thought it was $180. Okay, it's probably worth, or you probably owe on it $185. Oh, Jesus. Yeah, you're under water substantially, and who the f*** is going to buy a condo with that kind of fee? I agree. It's only got...

I know, it makes me sick. Yeah, I was listed for $150. You bought it over. Wait, you listed it for sale? Yes. I was going to talk to you about it, but I was like, you know what, I'm just going to list it. I need to get out of it. I just got my tax bill. Do you have like $30,000, $40,000 saved? No. To just pay him? So what the f*** are you planning to do? Ask him for help. Why the f*** would he? I don't know. Have you talked to him? Yes. And? Um...

No, and? He understands that I'm working really hard and I'm super stressed and they are talking about what we can do. They're going to talk to the realtor. Yeah, they're going to try to help you to sell it for as much as you owe, but they're not going to let you walk out of the fucking loan. Do I just like pay that off? The loan? Or are you talking about the difference? The difference? One, you're going to lose likely 6%. Seller...

and buyer real estate commission you're not in a happy seller's market so you're likely covering those even though technically you don't have to these days you can put it on the buyer but you're not uh so 150 so minus 9,000 150 certainly no capital gains taxes on this good luck the 185 you oh great so if you sell it you have to come up with minimum 44,000 40 4 oh 44

44? 44. 21? What the f*** are you doing? She's actively doing this. Like, right now, it's listed for sale right now. I did not know this. It's listed for sale right f***ing now. Oh my gosh, it's gone down in value so much. I know. It's also in a flood zone, so that's not really... Well, it's Florida. No, but, like, it's on the water. Like, it flooded right before I bought it, four feet of water inside. Uh...

What the f***? Okay. Now that you heard that you're going to have to come up with this, what do you think? Maybe I can work something else out with them? With what?

With who? The people that I'm trying to... Why the f*** would they lose $44,000? Why would they be okay with that? Well, I think in my head, which we've established isn't the best. I'm glad you can recognize it without changing it. It's an interesting, great human characteristic of you. In my head, he bought it for, I believe, $130,000. Doesn't matter. This is a loan. This is a loan. But if I've already paid him, like... No. How much have I paid? Well, I don't know. I don't know, but it's all been interest towards interest.

But isn't he making money off of me? It feels like I'm just paying him rent. Well, yes, you took out an 8% loan. He's making 8%.

So he's making money. Yes. So why wouldn't he just help me if he's already made money? Why would he help? Because he helped me in the first place. What am I talking to? Are you not able to see the logic to this? You're not able to see the logic on the employment side. Are you able to see the logic in this? Why? Why? Unless he's a charity, which he's not because he gave you 8%. Listen, if he gave you 8%, I don't think he's someone that's just going to be like walk away. He didn't give you 4% or something to keep up with inflation.

But he gave me a better deal than the bank was offering me. That doesn't... It felt like a good deal. He felt like a little angel sent from heaven. So why can't he do that again for me? Why the f*** would he? To help me? Why would he? To help me knock it for 30 years? Hopefully? Yeah, but it was your choice.

it was a really bad choice for sure yes it was but that's not his fault i'm so confused what is this world you live in you live in the weirdest oh you're such a covet child like you like stopped development at 12. why like you do not live in the real world with the rest of us okay all right and then you get a cease and desist for operating your business out of the home yeah oh for so far so you're trying to build the business and you can't even sell the you can't get out of the house you can't build

That's how I feel. From who? Who's using the cyst? The HOA. Yeah, and you probably, that's probably correct. Oh, for f***'s sake. So you can't do the business because you can't sell the house, but you want to sell, you want to scale the business, but you can't sell the house. Oh, it's so f***ing. It is f***ing. This is your fault. Should have read over the contract. I should have. Everything in your life you should have, but didn't and won't change. Hopefully it will change. Yeah, that's how things change.

That's the first step, right? Yeah, sure. But you did that. You did the first step of hope forever ago and you've done nothing. So I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Because I feel like I'm kind of stuck with the condo situation. You are by your choices. It's bad. Yes. What do you think your financial score is? Zero to ten. Zero being the worst. Ten being the best. Where do you think you are in this world? Two. Two.

Okay. Spending double the income, that underwater on their first house, even though you put $10,000 down. Fucking luck. If you want your score...

Actually, real estate will probably boost it, but it's not going to be a good real estate score. It's going to be a very bad real estate score. If you want your Hammer Financial Score, see where you stand in the world of finances, go to calebhammer.com and go to calebhammer.com slash apply if you want to come on the show. We'd be happy to have you. And don't forget, if you want to avoid being in a situation like this, go ahead and download my budgeting app right now. And for those who take the annual option, which saves you a lot of money, I'll also send...

The physical cookbook signed by me directly to your doorstep. So check that out. All those links in the description below. Let's get into the cards, I guess. We already did the mortgage. So let's do this. Wells Fargo. How long does this take to pay off if you only do minimum monthly payments, which you don't purchase, which you're incapable of because you purchased a ton because of course you did. How long does this take to pay off? Minimum monthly payments only. No spending. Are you asking me?

That's why I said how long. I don't know how long it would take. How long do you think? Like five years? Okay. Eighteen. Eighteen years? Eighteen years. Holy shit. Yeah. Yeah, you'll still be in your house by then, too. I fucking hope not. Well, you're right. I mean, you'll probably drown. Literally. Like in water. Yes. Yeah, literally. That's what I was saying. I didn't know if you meant like drowning in debt. Drowning in both senses. Yeah.

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$4,896.84 with a minimum monthly payment of $133. Of course, we went and purchased $1,607.35 with interest charging of $83.55. That's crazy. What the f***? It's right here. You said this. You know that. I didn't know my interest was $80.00.

That's insane. You sent this to us. I just downloaded it and sent it. I didn't look at it. Why don't you look at your accounts? Why aren't you budgeting? Why don't you know anything about your money? I'm scared to know how much I spend on stuff because I think it's bad. That makes it worse. For sure. That makes it worse. I honestly had no idea it was that much.

I didn't even know my monthly payment was $130. I thought it was like $50. Are you kidding me? How do you survive, dude? What are you even spending on? Chipotle? Amazon? Amazon, Amazon? Miller Alehouse? Azure Cafe? Amazon, Amazon, Amazon? Rookie Hip Camp? Amazon! Pull up your Amazon for me. Pull it up. Dude. Dude.

Why? And it's all at 20% interest in the world of credit cards. Luckily, you're not at the tippity tippity top, but it's still f***ed. Yeah, but it's... I don't... What? I don't have... It's f***ed. Okay, let's see. We got...

Booty shorts. Lots of them. New faucet. Yeah, I mean, you are an owner. Is this a fireplace thing? You got a fireplace? It's a fire poker. Why are you going camping? You need to be working. You can't take time off or spend money on it. Pork chomps. I'm guessing that's for the dog. Plastic gloves. For camping. You don't need to be camping. How often are you camping? Maybe like once every other month.

We just, I need you to be working to pay off this debt. I mean, you can't afford to live in your own house. What are these? Back scratches? I don't even know. More dog chews, more dog chews, more dog chews. Body bar. Reversible mats. Come on, we're not getting mats. We can't afford to survive. Cheese Himalayan things for dogs. Okay, cut the dog thing by a third at a minimum. Two thirds. By two thirds. By two thirds, you're spending a lot. I get wanting to spoil them.

Cut it by two-thirds and you're still spoiling more than most people. Tear tension corner. No, you don't need that. Pieces of African bathing shit. You don't need that. Homicidal microfiber cleaning. That's a lot. More bones. A dog snoop thing. And Ozium? 4.5 pack odor something? First aid beauty. Did it work? No.

Four-pack mop, replace heads, running shorts. Did it work? No. Dr. Broner's Pure Castle, okay. Mountain house granola, house granola, reusable rain ponchos. Because you gotta wear that in your condo. Literally.

Buddy, butter, six pack mixed flavor, squeezable, whatever. Dude, this is f***ing bulls*** and this is crazy and we've barely even gone back that far in time. It's just dumb spending. It's just stupid spending. All for the sake of what? To spend double what you make? You want to change it, you don't. Just delete the app.

delete the app you can redownload it it's so easy so i don't really have a lot of choice maybe we need to get you on a flip phone but like and then you'll just go online anyway on the computer but this is listen it's too easy for you to get that point and click dopamine reward and the package shows up you get excited and i like it too i like amazon but like i put it in a budget

I put it in a budget and you could do it as well if you're putting it in a budget, but you're not. You're just blowing all this money that you literally do not have. And you can't even get out of the house. Put $10,000 down. You're going to be in a $55,000 loss. So if you're lucky, that's if somebody buys it for the $150,000 you listed it for in the market we're in now. Good luck. I know. It's fun. I don't. I just wish I wouldn't have bought it as a terrible mistake. Doesn't matter. You did. I just wish I would have done a little bit more. Well, you're just going to hold. You're going to have to hold it.

I'm watching a really big loss. Yeah. Substantial loss. That sucks. You're going to have to hold it. Why? Do you dislike the place? I hate it. Why? The fees, the neighbors, I'm the youngest person. What's wrong with the neighbors? I mean, they're all on the board. The entire board is in my building. Okay. So I have people looking in my windows. I have people. Okay. They're looking in your windows, literally? Like, literally, like.

Okay, that's really weird. Absolutely. It's just, it's not my vibe. Everyone's older, too. It's a retirement community for, like, snowbirds. Why did you do research on this? Anytime I... Because I thought it was a good deal. When I buy a primary residence, you know, which...

it sounds like I make it sound like I'm doing that like every month no it's like okay like okay you know this year I'm getting uh well I technically already closed on the house I'm just renovating it but and then two years ago I got the house before this right but what do I do before I do that and how I saved myself on a house that I almost got that I was this close to closing on I knock on

On every door on that street. I meet everyone. I get their perspective for living there. I do my research. I go there at different times throughout the day. You're going to live there. You want it to be great. You do your research. This is a f***ing house. This is a multi-hundred-thousand-dollar loan. This isn't something you just do out of the whim. You didn't know old people were just f***ing going and dying? Well...

I knew that, but I figured it was more of a snowbird situation that they'd be gone like half the year. Did you ask people? So there we go. This is your fault. I mean, this is just your fault. It's my fault, but I don't want to be in the situation.

Even though this is my fault. I know it's my fault. Oh, they're saying you put a big trip on here. Oh, yeah. Skank fest? Yeah. Isn't that comedy? Mm-hmm. It's comedy. Oh, yeah. I have heard of that. Okay. It's so fun. And I know- Right, but you can't afford to live in your own place.

So we're putting f***ing comedy over living in your own place? That's why it's on my credit card. So I can pay for it. That's f***ing dumb. That's not cute. That's not cute! But I love comedy. Cool. Watch it on YouTube. It's not the same. No, it's not. It's not. But you can do things you want to do when you can afford them. When you can afford them, you can't. You can't. You can't. But if I can't afford it now...

I figured it would be paid off by the time the event actually comes in November. Well, good news. Okay. Instead of that dumbass gank festival, we're going to have a comedy show for you, I'm being told, and it's free. So here we go. The roast. The official roast of Genetti.

Jeanette. Jeanette. That's fine. Jeanette. We use fake names. I don't know. First up, marketing Josh. I wrote down some jokes for you. I'm so excited to hear them. A slight roast. I heard about your finances. So it was very easy to be creative for you.

And I'm going to start off with this first one. You're so broke, your idea of a luxury item is a secondhand paper towel. You're so broke, when you applied for a credit card, the bank instead sent you a sympathy card. I'm sorry about that. I heard. You're so broke, your credit card got declined at the dollar store. Damn. You can't be doing that.

You're so broke, you wash paper plates. That's rock bottom, girl. She just leaves them in her apartment. Aw. Make sure you never eat at her place. You're so broke, you count ramen noodles as a food group. Do you not? You don't do? I would never do that. Thanks.

You're so broke when you walk past a payday loan place, they just laugh. You don't even get accepted there. You're so broke your piggy bank is on a hunger strike. You know who should go on a hunger strike? You're so broke you bring a spoon to the Super Bowl. Girl, if you end up in the Super Bowl, how the f*** did you afford that? You're so broke your houseplants wish they were weeds outside. You know how tragic that is?

That one's personal. That's it for me, though. The Super Bowl is what she calls her breakfast every morning. Next up on the roast of Jeanette, the office's favorite lesbian and video editor, Erin. What's up, Jeanette? You're so broke, your idea of meal prep is sniffing a food court. You can smell that Annie Ann's from a couple staircases away. You're so broke, your couch has more coins than your bank account. You're so broke, your dreams have a budget.

How does that feel? Great. Yeah, you're so broke even your check engine light gave up. Uh-huh. And so did her tires. You're so broke your idea of fine dining is a Saturday samples at Costco. You're so broke you steal napkins to use as toilet paper. That's just sad, Jeanette. It's really sad. You're so broke your welcome mat just says help. And that's what it screams when you stand on it.

Do you have any roast back? I just want to say your teeth are beautiful. Not really a roast. And we transition! And last up for the roasted Jeanette, the office's favorite degenerate, Brandon. Congrats on being f-

You're so broke you can't even pay attention. You're so broke ducks throw bread at you. You're so broke your wallet has a cast and crutches. You're so broke you go to KFC to lick other people's fingers. You're so broke when someone rings the doorbell you stick your head out the window and yell ding dong.

You're so broke, even your imaginary friend won't lend you money. You're so broke, your piggy bank filed for unemployment. And you're so broke, your calendar skips payday. Damn. Oh my goodness. As we just transitioned back, I just read the craziest fucking note. Okay. But either way, there you go. Now you don't need to pay for Skank Fest. Okay? You got your little comedy show. We provided it for free. Okay? Okay.

Okay, so no more. How much did the skank fest cost? The ticket was $600, and that's not including travel and hotel. When is travel and hotel? The hotel is probably going to end up being like $400. When? When? When? November. For f***'s sake, did you get afford your f***ing life? That's kind of why it's planned like far away. Well, speaking of skank fest, what made me giggle is I guess you're also...

Obsessed with Spankfest as well. Sugar Mama? Sugar Mama? You pay people after you fuck. Oh, well, not all the time. And I don't pay them with money. That's kind of like... I don't know. I'm being read. Every time she boned someone, she would gift them gifts. I wouldn't say every time, but I mean at least three or four times. That's happened. Bought them AirPods and Apple Watches. Gotta take care of my babies.

Was that just their pay? Did they want to? What? Yeah, of course they wanted. They were getting AirPods. Yeah, because I was like, you're such a good boy. You get some AirPods. Take care of you. So we can't afford life while we're buying P&I AirPods and watches? Not all the time, but I would say sometimes. I'm so confused. You can't even afford to pay your own bills. This makes no sense. Going out to eat was like 700 bucks.

unknown shopping it's typically it's just like amazon and stuff was like 1300 miscellaneous bullshit was another almost 700 bucks so it's like what the fuck are you doing you can't i just like to make sure they get a little little consolation trust me they were happy if it concluded well no not like that i meant more if they finished okay it's like i don't know maybe that too but this is like dude again i mean look oh i was just about to move on

You've had a late fee this year so far on this card. You're buying ball sacks AirPods. You're buying ball sacks AirPods. And yet you're not even paying your damn minimum payment on time to this card. And you're spending a thousand. What was it? 500 on this card on time. Why? I didn't know there was a way. Oh, for f*** sake. I know that's not a good excuse, but I genuinely didn't know that. Oh my God.

dude i didn't even know my monthly payment was this year so far hundreds of interest this year so far on one card and then the fee i didn't know we're still barely even into this year i know what was the late fee this year or this yes no it wasn't this month it was this year though why wouldn't it be paid on time can you tell me that i know you didn't know when but why wouldn't it be just being stupid as okay you're done then right like what's

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What is this f***ing conversation? If everything we do anything, I'm stupid. Well, because I want to write down the things that I'm stupid about so I can- And you're not! Well, I am. I'm making mental notes. But you're stupid. For sure. I am stupid, but I'm trying to not be stupid. You can learn. You don't have to be stupid forever. Right? I agree, but we're approaching 27 on Monday, you said. Yeah.

I feel like I'm doing pretty good for 27. I'm glad you got into a house. You got into a horrible housing situation that you never should have. You should have researched. You should have honestly probably taken our real estate class before you fucking purchased the house. But at least you get to watch that for free now for your next one. If you ever get out of this house, good luck. Okay. Apple card. $1,345.34. Minimum monthly payment, $60. Eight years to pay this one off.

That's a long time. It's a long time. You'll be mid-30s. Massage? Massage Lux? Yeah. It's only $5. For what? I have my membership on hold until I get more money. So I pay them $5 a month basically to not charge me $70 a month. Oh!

So I can keep my... So you don't even get the service! Correct. Oh, for f***'s sake, this is so moronic! This is so moronic! You spend double what you make in your pain to keep a subscription on hold? What the f*** are you doing? Bark.co, you spend enough on the pup. Applebill? Pull up your phone again! You got a ring plan so you can, like, see the f***ing someone collapse with a heart attack in front of your door? Yeah. Or the old people, you know.

i just want to make sure they're not looking in my windows won't you see them no i'm not would that not be the same give i don't need to see your apple i didn't know okay you just have icod plus yeah that is that bill it's the icod plus extra storage i don't know what so what's up with this card so this card is basically like it's you know it's easy

When you're on your phone, it's the first card that comes up when you go to pay stuff. And it's connected to all my things. Yeah.

Like my BarkBox and stuff like that. Yeah, I did see that. There's a couple things on eBay that I purchased on that card. What are we getting on eBay? Who's using eBay? What are you getting on eBay? I love eBay. Congratulations. I'm sure you do. You love getting things that show up to your house. I know. That's your pastime. I just love... I love stupid shit. I love buying dumb shirts. That's how this conversation started. Yeah. Dumb shirts? Yeah. Like who's a good boy? Yeah. That is a dumb shirt. Yeah. I know. I got it on eBay. So...

we're going to potentially go bankrupt for dump shirts. Interesting strategy. Is that your version of comedy? You love comedy shows so much. Your comedy is who's a good boy on our shirt? No.

It kind of just sets the tone. How much do you spend on this bull? I try to get like $10 shirts. What's your travel? I travel. I try to get out of the state like two or three times a year. How? You can't even come close to affording that. How? Like credit cards and stuff. You can't. You probably go fucking wild when you travel too. Well. Just look at you. You can't control yourself with your home. I mean, I honestly, I just black out. You know, the time that you're on vacation doesn't count towards the time. Which is great when we go on vacation once a quarter. Mm-hmm.

I just like- You make like $50,000 a year before taxes. Four vacations where we just black out and spend all our money a year? Fuck! I know. I just, again, it goes back to the, I like it. I like it. I know what you like. I don't give a fuck. For sure. I like it. I got friends in Colorado. I got friends in Colorado. I have friends out here. FaceTime them. Right now? No. Instead of traveling to Colorado. Colorado.

But Colorado's cool. I'm sure it is. You can't afford that. Are you not understanding that? It's like, great. I understand. It's nice. I understand. It's cool. I understand you want to do it. You mathematically cannot afford it because you got fired from your last job because you're irresponsible and don't know how to do your job. That was the fault of you and you alone. Whether or not it was a petty hire fire, you still did something incorrect and you got fired.

Oh, no, the consequences of my own actions. Who would have thought? Okay, so that happened. Now you make less money. You can't live the lifestyle you did before. That is you making choices. I don't give a f*** if it's fun. It's all on you. And you do not have to say yes because it's fun. I have a hard time saying no. I obviously see that. So you need to sit down with a f***ing therapist and figure that s*** out.

I'll gift you therapy. Three free sessions with Sondermine. They use them. I use them. They're great. Work on these coping mechanisms. Learn to say no. That's hard. I know. Hard things are hard. Say two things. It's hard. It's fun. It's hard. It's fun. You're never going to do anything if this is your brain. And you didn't know how f***ing people banged at 19 and then you pay people to f*** after that? Like, it's like, okay. That sounds bad when you say it like that.

Paying people to f*** sounds bad. Reading as I see it. Hanging out with someone for a month and then being like, all right, here's some AirPods. Ta-ta. That's different, in my opinion. So weird. Okay. I don't know. I just, you haven't grown as a human mentally.

But I own a house and a business and I have a job. You're underwater in your house for $55,000 and you want to sell it. You have a business that makes $300 a month and you can't operate it out of the place that you live in, which is where you're operating your business. Shut the f*** up. There's nothing to be proud of here. I feel like I have the things in place, just not the best execution.

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Okay. Yo, $2,457.16 with a minimum monthly payment. You purchased $353? For fuck's sake. I think it's just gas, though. We'll see. Minimum payment is $25, so this will never be paid off. How long will it take to pay off? It doesn't say, but it's going to take forever, that's for sure. My goodness. Um, yeah, some of it's gas, but there's also tractor supply. Dog food.

152 dollars in dog food in one purchase? That's dog food and cat food, sounds like. How many pets do you have? Well, I'm a pet sitter, so I always have to have extra stuff on hand.

Like, I always have extra. Not food, though. The owners have the food. It's always good to have extra, and I buy it in bulk. Yeah, but feeding them something outside of their diet is going to make them sh**. Not necessarily. Sometimes, yeah. But I have some dogs that are just like. I'd be pissed if my dog watcher fed them some out-of-diet food, not a treat. But what if you didn't send me enough food to watch your dog? I would. Not everyone does competition. Okay, so it's when they're with you. But you can't do that in your place, business. I still do it.

They can f***ing like... They threatened to fine me $100 a day until I stopped. Yeah, and it can get worse too. Yeah, but nothing's ever come about it since I got that one thing in the mail. How much do you spend on pets on a monthly basis? I honestly don't know. A lot. What do you think? Probably like a band between dog food, treats. That's $1,000, right? $1,000. Okay. Yeah. I mean, it's just like...

Just buy a lot for the business and a thousand hours a month on it, but you make 300. So it's like, yeah, what a great business you're running. You go in the hole for it. But I do make more money than 300. That's just how much then I would say it's definitely less than 5,000 a year since I can't be full time on it. I can't dedicate even 5,000 hours a year. Let's just say that I'm 400 hours a month. Okay. Okay. It was a little off. I think it's, I think it's a little bit more than that.

You said I don't even bring in $5,000 a year. I gave you $5,000. Yeah. I think last year I did well because I had more time dedicated to it. But now that I have my 9 to 5, it's probably more accurate to $300, $400 a month. But prior, I was making way more because I was able to spend more time on it. Oh, my gosh. Oh, they're f***ing with me. They're saying she spends $400 a month on something stupid. What else do you spend $400 a month on? Is it we? F***.

Is it? You tell me. I don't know. Better not be, is it? It's a shit ton of money. Is it? Oh, it is! Oh, you spent literally $420 this last month on weed? Are you fucking kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me? That's insane. That's kind of cool, though. $420? Yeah, that's hilarious. When you can't literally afford life. You are a joke. You're an excuse for a human. I have no respect for you. I have no respect for you. I hope you do well, but I have no respect for you. You're a joke.

You're a child, you're a joke. I'm sorry. I'm telling it as it is. No more roasting. No more little comedic hickeys. You're a child. You're a child. You've never developed beyond, like, 12. And I have no respect for you as a human. But I have all the adult stuff. Underwater on a mortgage? Is that an adult thing? Uh, yeah, it is. A lot of people are underwater on their mortgage, but at least they have a house. Is that not normal? Like, isn't it like a recession or some sh- We don't know. We have to have two quarters of GDP decline for a recession.

2.5% of people with mortgages are underwater on their home. No, the majority of people do not. In fact, at basically the worst, which is the 2008 mortgage crisis was 23%. So not even a full quarter. So no, that is not the adult thing to do. You're in a small minority of people who got in way over their head and didn't do the research and over their lives.

But doesn't it make my credit look good that I own a house? Your seller finance probably isn't showing up under credit. Oh. Right? I don't know. Is he reporting it to the credit bureaus? I don't think so. I don't know. I'd be beyond surprised. I honestly, actually, I'll be honest. I don't even know. Me neither. Yeah. It doesn't automatically appear under credit. But you can potentially get seller financing reporting online.

You would have to take extra steps or they would have to take extra steps using like a loan servicing company or reporting it via third party services like rental karma or payment report or Zingo. And you can establish a formal loan agreement, which I'm sure you did in order to report that history. So, I mean, it's possible, but also just don't people over you took this. Hopefully they just take it back if you don't. I mean, they could. That'd be like best case scenario. Yeah.

I would love that. Yeah, but what if they go through the steps because you f***ed them over reporting that? Like a seller finance foreclosure. You want that on your credit? I don't know. I don't know how that works. I just figured anything to do with the house will look... Well, it sounds like they can at least attempt to get it on your credit. That would be cool. No, the foreclosure. Oh, oh, oh, yeah. No, no. That would not be cool. Dude. I just checked. You spend $1,000 a month to bring in $400 at the max. This is moronic.

This is not a business. Don't call it a business again. It feels like charity. No, for sure. Yes, that's close. Okay, well, this credit card has $0 on it, so I don't know why I'm seeing this. Oh, I think that's my car. Oh, there's a car on the second page. Well, it's at a 2.25% interest rate of what your house was. I mean, that's a good rate for a car. What is the car? I have a 2018 Hyundai Tucson. Balance is $5,250.68. Okay.

The minimum monthly payment is $427. I mean, it's chunky. Chunky, probably a shorter term. I don't know if you had this. How's the condition? What's the car like? I bought it in 2018. It's a great car. I love my car. I do fly through tires like a motherfucker, though. Why? Because I drive all over town for this stupid charity job that I love, but I need to figure out how to make money on it. But I've gotten at least two sets of tires in the last year.

Well, I'll gift you a course career certification. Use the accounting one for your own business, and I think you'll learn that $1,000 out and $400 in equals no. But how do I get to make more money than $400 in? We already talked about this earlier. What the f— I thought you were taking mental notes. I thought that was your special superpower. That's not a superpower, but I do want to know. You have to charge more. You need to charge locally so you're able to go in between places quicker. And—

you gotta just cut out the people that are far away and you're not charging enough. No more charity. You said it feels like a charity. We can't be like a charity anymore. I know. How much do you think the car's worth? Probably like $7,000. We're seeing it. What condition is it in? It's pretty good. Pretty good? Like fair, I guess it would be. Okay, it's probably worth like $10,000 then. We're getting $14,000 for good condition. Oh, wow. Cool. Yeah. That's not bad.

Right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're underwater in your house, not your car. I'd rather it be the car than the house, but... But I could always live in my car if anything happens. Is that you being cute or is that a real... That's like a real thing. If I'm homeless, at least my car will be paid off. At least my car will be paid off. It's okay to be homeless. Great. All right. Student loans for what degree? It was a technical college. I went to be an esthetician.

Which is... Esthetician, really? Skin and nails. Yep. It just really doesn't make much money. Yeah. That field. It takes a long time to make decent money on that. Yeah. Okay? And it was awful. I was a waxer, and I only did it for about maybe six months. What the fuck are you doing? Why are you not paying on it? They'll garnish your fucking wages. I think it's called deferred. It's deferred? Or something like that. No, I see a regular amount of 50 bucks. I told them that I lost my job. Old current dues zero.

Yeah, what are they going to do when you file taxes and they say, oh, she has a job? Well, that comes off, I think, automatic. They gave me a year. Okay, a year until when? When's a year? I think I start paying back on it in June, July. Okay, so it'll be $50. So just put that in your budget for now. But you stopped. Yeah, dude, I was a waxer.

That means nothing to me. I don't know. You were waxing. I was waxing vaginas and dirty buttholes. Did you just... Oh my gosh, you really do infantilize yourself. You chose to get into it. Also, it's just a private part. Who gives a... It's not... It's not fucking porn. I'm so confused. It was a job. It was just like if you were doing something medical as well. And if you're uncomfortable, don't go into it. But don't do the... I was 18 and I saw a naked body. Oh my...

What are you? You're literally a professional Redditor. Or Twitter user. You are a child. You are the most Gen Z. I don't hate Gen Z. I'm in that weird Gen Z millennial hybrid anyway, so it's just like, whatever. But what the f- What is this infantilization? I'm 18. I'm 19. I've never heard of sex. Oh, 18. I saw a-

No. I can handle pussy and I can handle butthole. But when a bitch is coming and running a mile and then comes in, like, can I get a full Brazilian? That is f***ing dumb. Can you give her a towel? I can wipe her with a baby wipe. But you can't have her? That's a little bit. Is there a shower there? No. No. Okay. Yeah, baby wipe it up. Okay, you didn't like it, but don't do the... I was 18. I just felt like it was a lot for me at that age. It...

If literally seeing a naked body for you was a lot at 18, then you probably shouldn't be out of sight of your parents. It was nasty. I can handle bodily, you know, I can look at a pair of tits and a vagina, but a stinky, nasty, gross bitch?

I don't think it has to do with 18, though. I think that's disgusting. I wouldn't like that either, but not because I'm 30. But I'm throwing that in that I was also 18. That shouldn't matter. I just got out of high school. Again, I didn't really know what's going on. Were you not raised? Like, what the f***? What is this? Why are you assigning childlike behavior to yourself? You weren't an adult. People literally go serve in wars at that age. I don't give a f***.

If it is too scary to see something that is stinky at 18, then you should not be driving a multi-ton vehicle at 70 miles per hour. You probably shouldn't be allowed to leave the house. You probably shouldn't be allowed to work a job where there are high-pressure situations because you are too immature. If you are incapable to exist at 18, you shouldn't be allowed to do anything. You can either infantilize yourself in nothing or...

or in everything. If seeing something stinky is too much for an 18 year old, then you need to be locked inside and coddled by your dad and be assigned a marriage. That's a bit much. Not really. If you are literally incapable of anything at 18, then I am not going to let you go have a job where someone might be a little upset if you don't do your job properly. I'm not going to let you drive a truck down a road.

I think I'm not going to let you go to college where you have to be responsible for yourself. Barely. I think I'm pretty responsible. I mean, I moved out of my mom's when I was 19. I can't be that in infinity. Like, well, you it was your words, dude. I was using your own words that I'm a child. You said that was a lot for an 18 year old. It was not really. Most of us be in high school. I don't know many 18 year olds that have a grown up job.

That also moved out of their parents. Do you live in a daycare? No, I live in a shitty small town. A lot of people go to college, which means they move out at 18. That is a very common thing in our Western American culture. In fact, it has been more common historically to move out at 18.

since at least the 40s and 50s in our culture i don't from well then where you're from is it is okay cool that doesn't matter you don't know people who have jobs at 18 that's on them a lot of people my brothers a lot of people i know we go get a job at 16 so we can pay for the car so we can pay for the gas so we can do the things we want to do so we can go live an independent lifestyle you're so coddled what a disgusting joke that your age is it's crazy it's

You're like two years younger. You're like four years younger than me. So it's not even that big thing. You're not even like, you're not even 18 now. When you were 18, I was 22. We're not even that far apart. And I didn't act like this. What is wrong with people like you? I will never understand. You should. I was excited to be an adult. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you guys. Children. Good luck ever existing in this world, man. You make me sound like a boomer, but my there actually is something wrong. There actually is something wrong.

With the generation? I guess. Just with some people. The permanently, chronically online 18-year-olds who got separated from reality during COVID because they were locked inside. You know, that's what we all did. But they just couldn't operate in the world after that. And they've just, they're mentally children for the rest of their lives. I don't know what the f*** happened. It's crazy. And I never realized it until I started this show and had to talk to people like you. It's crazy. Okay. Is that it? Is that all the debt? That looks like all the debt. Hmm.

I think so. Pardon me, huh? I feel like I didn't write something. I'll have to look back real quick. I didn't write down the car. How much is out on the car? $4,000 something. $4,500 something. $4,820. With a minimum payment of what? I think it's $427. $440. Hey, we have $500 in our checking account. We're just going in, getting some bull. Probably vaping. I can't believe how much you spend on fucking weed on a monthly basis. That's crazy. It's like... And that's just on my card. That's not even cash.

Spend 15% of your income on... What a joke. 50%? 15. Oh, holy sh... Still insane. Uber Eats. Oh my gosh, 25 bucks there. Rib City. Then went out money. Zaxby's. Uber Eats. Uber Eats. PayPal in out money. India's Grill. Clover. Then went out 15. Downtown House of Pies. Starbucks. Uber Eats. Uber Eats. Uber Eats. Spotify. Uber Eats. Etsy. Uber Eats. Uber Eats. Oh, for f***'s sake.

Slice life Uber eats PayPal and Uber eats Uber eats. This is so going in to get into McDonald's. That was stupid spending for someone that can't survive. Plus another 400 on. Good luck. Good luck, dude. $100 and oh, no, $100 is savings down from 914. Oh, for sake.

Well, here's another account, $2,600. So what's that? I think that's my business credit card for gas. No, it's not a credit card. Business savings? Do you have $2,600 in savings? Is it gone? I think I have a savings. I think it's about $2,000. Okay. Oh my gosh, you don't even know for f*** sake. $731 in Robin Hood. Okay. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, this one's actually pretty good. Oh, it looks like you've been contributing to retirement. This is a weird random pile of gold and a stack of $50,000 in retirement. And for your income right now, it's actually on track for retirement. If it was your income of your last job, no, you wouldn't be. But okay. Wow. Well, let's see if we can budget you. I can't behavior and mental you, but let's see if I can budget you. What are you even invested in when it comes to those? I couldn't tell you.

The Robin Hood or in my retirement? I have no idea. I had people pick it all for me. Who picked? My friends. Oh, I hope that $50,000 stays there. But I don't know if it will if your friends are picking it. Yeah.

Good luck, dude. Okay. $3,600. Let me sit down with the financial advisor next time. Debit and ointment payments. Okay. $708. Not including the mortgage and HOA. Mortgage and HOA. Well, you know, $1,850. Okay. What about gas, electricity, utilities, internet, all that stuff combined? How much? $500. Gas? Room, room, drive, drive. You drive a lot. Just in gas, probably $200 a month. Like driving gas. That's crazy. I thought it was going to be. Car insurance? $140. Okay.

Phone bill? I have mint, so it was like $200 for the year. Okay, that's not bad.

We always tell people to get on helium for $15 a month. That's also very good. It's very similar. We'll budget you out to... Well, technically, it would actually save you money. $17 a month for that. Necessary food, $300. Use our meal plan again. Cookbook! Cookbook! Use it! Budget from the cookbook. $300 a month. TP for $100. Anything else you need or want, if you have extra...

Medical, healthcare, anything on a monthly basis? Yes, probably like $150. Subscriptions, no, but pet insurance? It's included with my job. Okay, pet food? $250. That's for dog and cats. Okay, yeah, I mean, you're underwater. That was pretty clear. $4,215. $615. Yeah, I mean, the house situation is a bit weird, but I mean, you're under 55, so I doubt we can do that.

and that's not including the other gas not vroom vroom drive drive what's the other gas it's also not including wheat no you okay i was gonna think of a plan but you that pisses me off spending your budget overspend zero out of ten you dad it's not it's not the worst that you're underwater in your house it's not great two out of ten emergency fund two thousand bucks two out of ten

Retirement, 10 out of 10. You're actually there for your age. And real estate, it's not great because of the situation, but if you held, it might work, 3 out of 10. Retirement is actually what's going to hold you. You might get to that number that you said before that I wasn't expecting. Yeah, Hammer Financial Score rounded up 3.5 out of 10. You don't deserve it with that last statement.

Pissing me off. Whatever. All right, join us in the post show, ladies and gentlemen. And if you want even more content, thousands of hours, join the best YouTube membership on the entire platform. Join the Hammer Elite version. You can watch the post show there and a bunch of other shows. And if you don't want to be like her, download the Simple Budget app and you get the cookbook signed by mail, mailed directly to your door if you sign up for the annual version. See you in the post show. $1,000 on... That is a low life level behavior.

You're paying your boyfriend to be with you. I mean, I am. That is loser behavior. How many AirPods have you bought him? One. Just one. Did you get him an Apple Watch too? Are you doing this so you can like track them?