Ep 227: Jim Gaffigan (Fathertime)
01:32:23 Share

How's it going? I like how he's put out. Doesn't want to be there. Now the movie Heat. It has De Niro, Pacino, Kilmer. But the reason everyone loves it is, yeah, you guessed it, Wayne Grove. Does he die in a robe in the end of the last scene? Yeah. Haters loving it. So, who here is on a dating app? Ah!

Tender, bumble, yelp. And who here has seen heat?

It's like so dumb. And who here that has seen Heat is terrified to be on the stage with me, Wayne Groh. That is what a weird pitch. It takes for five minutes. I mean, it's insane. Wow. It kind of becomes unfunny and then gets funny again. Right, right. It's cool that he's going right in. He's like, I'll ride it out.

Yeah, I mean, should we start it up? Yeah, go ahead. Yeah, we were just talking Val Kilmer, man. RIP Val Kilmer. One of the best. Yeah, great guy. Such a talent. Great documentary. Top secret. I grew up on that shit. Oh, he's so good in that. Blew my mind. So funny. So funny. The scene where he's in a shootout with the windows and he bangs a hole in the window. It's like a circle. Then they shoot him and it's an X.

Then he bangs another circle out. I mean, gold. I love when he's in the prison cell and he keeps marking as if time passed. Yeah. And you think it's like 20 days, but it's been like 20 minutes. Yes, yes. I mean, it's so stupid. I mean, it's a really funny movie. The black guy's chocolate mousse. There's a lady with cleavage who starts talking to this guy. He's a robot. And she starts rubbing her tits on him and his antenna goes off. So good. So many great gags in that movie. Also, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Oh!

Oh my God. Great movie. He's so, and these are all like different types of comedy. So he's not just a great, versatile actor, but he's doing different types of comedic performances too. Totally. Dude, he's really funny in Tombstone. Great. He makes Tombstone. He's the reason to watch Tombstone. Yeah. In the range, he's in Top Secret and The Doors movie. I know. And Top Gun as Iceman. Yeah.

But dude, when he has that first showdown with Johnny Ringo, and Johnny Ringo does all the fucking tricks with the gun, and then he just does the same thing with an empty glass of whiskey he was drinking. It's so, I mean, he gave you everything in Tombstone. Like, he's a badass. He's funny. He makes you cry in the end. He's vulnerable. Dude, he's so cool. Oh, yeah. He's the man. We didn't even bring up Heat.

Oh, Heat. One of the coolest. Michael Mann's masterpiece. I don't know if it's my favorite Michael Mann movie, but I love it. Yeah. But it's great. Manhunter? I might go The Insider, dude. The Insider's great. The Insider's incredible. That's a hell of a movie. But I love Val Kilmer. Apparently, Vita was telling me this, that I think they couldn't pay him what his rate was, but he was like, if you put me on the poster with Pacino and De Niro, I'll do it and pull up the poster. Yeah.

I mean, that's like a power move right there. It's funny because I was always like, why is he on the poster? He doesn't seem big enough, but there you go. There you go. And he got a name on there too. Look at that. Wow. Good for Val.

What a guy. Great documentary if you want to weep all night. Watch Val. It was a wreck on this podcast, and I watched it because of you. Yes. And you said you cried, and I got misty myself. It passed the girlfriend test. I was like, let's try this. She's like, are you kidding? Who is this guy? I never heard of him. And then she was weeping like a bitch. You've never heard of Val Kilmer? She is out to lunch this lady. She's 16 years old. She doesn't know Brando De Niro. What? But she knows The Bachelor. She knows...

Below Deck. She knows the Kardashians. Yeah. It's not good. Yeah, he was great, man. And he was in talks about being... I mean, he was Batman. Oh, yeah. Well, let's not bring that up. It's not the worst Batman. And he's a good Batman. It's just not a good movie. Yeah. Schumacher really got weird on that one. He got gay. It was all about lips. Yes. It was all about Batman's lips. You're just like, what are we doing here? That's when you get the black Batmans.

Yeah. All right. And Gene Hackman, we're going to throw him in the mix too. I don't know if we did a thing on him yet.

Yeah. Look at those. That's what I mean. Luscious beauties there. Yeah. He looks like he's in an S&M club in Berlin. Like, what the hell? He does, yes. Is this Batman or am I about to get fucking spanked here? What the hell? I know. I'm wearing a ball gag over here. What is going on? Hachi machi. Look at the cup on that son of a B. Was it the Clooney one or was it this one where he had nipples on the suit? That's the controversy about this one. He had nipples. Nipples on the suit. He's ripped. I mean, he's got me in a wet market.

Who's designing this where we're like, we need nipples? Yeah. I also love that they draw on the six pack for this outfit. I know. Like Batman's like, look, I do still drink. I don't have abs. In this costume. Do me a favor and contrast this Batman with Adam West. Could there be more of a contrast? Like the doughiest white guy of all time and then a ripped six pack ab son of a B. Look at that. That's just a regular dude. Adam West was fucking too. Oh.

Oh, he was a poon hound. Oh my, look at this. He looks Chinese. He does, yeah. He's a Chinese Batman. Started a fucking virus. God, it was easy to be a man back then. You just did not be fat and you were killing it. Yeah, you're right. You could be doughy back then. You could be doughy, smoke cigarettes, drink all the whiskey you want, and you were good to go. Yeah, let me have my glass of whole milk with dinner. Yeah, my pack of cigarettes and my wife with a black eye. The American way.

Burt Ward. Yeah, I mean, he turned down Batman and Robin, Val Kilmer, to do The Saint. Saint was cool. Yeah. Blind superhero. I never saw it. No, that wasn't, that was, wasn't that Daredevil? That's Daredevil, but I think he's blind in The Saint. Is he? He's not a superhero, but he's blind. He's like a blind secret agent. Is he? I had no idea. Isn't he blind? He's blind in that Miro Sorvino movie. You might be combining two. Oh, shit, you're right. I'm combining two.

Never mind. How many blind superheroes are we going to have? We got Stevie Wonder. We got Ray Charles. We got Daredevil.

By the way, here's my beef with Daredevil. They say he's blind, but then he's beating up eight guys at once because his other senses are heightened. I don't think that's how it works. I think you'd be able to smell a fart from the living room or something. I don't think you're able to just beat up a whole crew of people. That's a good point. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. That's my bone to pick with Daredevil. You got a point. He should be reading more Braille. Why is there no Braille in Daredevil?

What's up with Braille, by the way? You ever do that? Have I ever felt Braille? Yeah. No, I read. Wow, as a goof. Let me see if I can read this little Bible scripture here written on the elevator. And it is just... It's a tough life. It's tough, yeah. Yeah, damn, that's how you have to learn. Braille's great. You ever seen a book of Braille? It's just a book with all the buttons on it, and you gotta do that. Damn. Great. Blind people, you think they're good at fingering? Oh, no doubt about it. They're feeling the bumps. They're like, oh, this tells a story. Every vagina. Yeah.

And the story is she's been with other men who have a very, very unholy disease. Yeah, that's a lot of bumps. In 1970, National Library Service put out a edition of Playboy in Braille. Thank you. Wow. Bummer. You're like, man, these are some sweet tits. This is great. I read the article. Damn, dude. Wow, that's very inclusive. I love it. Oh, is our guest here? All right, let's go. All right.

Yeah, we got Hackman, Kilmer. They go in threes, they say, so we'll see who's next. Damn. Speaking of, here's our guest. Hey!

We are. You might be able to use this. We want to give Val Kilmer a shout out before you go. Hopefully he's alright. Cool jacket, dude. You're looking good. Let me tell you something.

All you need are fucking three motherfuckers to take over a country. That's a good Randy Savage. That's all you need. Let me tell you something. Oh, yeah. There's Jack Roy. That's right. Hey. There you go. I think his real name is Jacob Cohen. Fun fact. Jacob Cohen. From Queens. My name was Jacob Cohen. Then I changed to my dad. And molested. My father...

My father worked in Vaudeville, and his name was Cohen, so I didn't want to use Cohen's white. Well, how the hell are you? I'm good. It's great to be... Are you guys already drunk? No. No. We saved you for that. All right. No pressure. No pressure. I'm sorry I'm late. It's all right. Oh, you're fine. It's a little bit... It's farther away than I thought, and...

Who comes to this part of town? It is. Midtown. Very empty. But I like your setup here. I feel like it's upgraded a little bit. Yeah. You actually, you were in the other studio. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Yeah. One of the early guests. Thanks for doing it back. You were slumming it back then. Yeah. Was I one of the early guests? You were one of the early, early guests. All I do is give. Give, give, give.

Yeah, comedy. So you bang out a couple. Yeah, that's right. And then you hit the road and they post them. Yeah. Hey. Sell tickets. Speaking of giving, you never gave us a whiskey. I did give you a whiskey. Oh, yeah, you did. It's at home, though. But you brought another one? I brought two. I'm at the studio. Whoa. So this is the new edition. What's different about it? Well, it's like each is a small, precious batch of...

Instead of a small batch, I call it a precious batch. Because it all has to do with children. Yeah. What I call Brad Williams. But this is the night. So like there's regular strength and then there's empty nester strength. I bet you your parents can identify with the empty nester strength. They miss their boys. Should we drink the empty nester? Sure. Whichever one you want. One's higher proof.

Let's give us the higher. But I know you probably need the lower proof. What's that supposed to mean? So people that... I was thinking about this on the ride over here. So are people that enjoy this podcast, obviously they're all types of people. But would you say that there are more people that...

love the juice or more people that just love the two? That's a good question. I'd say more comedy, but we also got a lot of alcoholics. We got a lot of sober people. We got a big sober listenership too. Sober listenership too. So, all right. So do we have... So I think we go empty nest or something. Are we going on the rock straight up? What are you doing? I'd love if you got a big rock. You better believe it. Yeah. You know, like sometimes you encounter these...

These purists that are like, it took them forever to get the water out of the thing. Right. Why would you put water near it? But I believe it brings something out. Here, here, here. It's nice, right? But I know you guys are rye guys, right? Yeah, well, you better believe it. Is this a bourbon? Yeah, this is a bourbon. Oh, that smells really good, dude. Right? Very nice. So wait a minute. So you probably get so much, but you didn't try it when I sent it last time. I did try it.

I have it at home on the cart, the bar cart. I did try it. I enjoyed it. All right. Hit me, baby.

I love a big old rock. I love a big rock. Yeah. I love them, man. What's your favorite whiskey cocktail, Jim? I'm not, I'm like, this is exactly how I like it. All right. I love High Proof. Oh, yeah. And I like it with a big rock. And yeah, here we go. Here we go. Look at that. I feel like Don Draper. Right? Mm-mm.

See, bourbon has a sweetness to it. That's really good. That's a good drink, dude. Right? And so, yeah, there is something about... That is chill. I want to talk to you guys about your journey with your ride because when you started it,

As anyone who's listening who does partake, or maybe they listen because they partake too much, is there is an evolution. So what you loved about a drink at the beginning or even a whiskey at the beginning can evolve. So I like a much higher proof than when I started even with Father Time. I was...

obsessed with wanting it to be smooth that was just because i had tried celebrity brands and so many of them were like you're like oh my god this is it's there's a difference between it being strong and it being bad yeah so i wanted it smooth so that um if someone is a casual drinker that they could partake and or if they're gonna mix it even though like i i think like i

I like a high proof and just drinking it straight. But, like, how about you guys? How has it shifted? Do you like a higher proof now than when you started? I mean, it all depends on the flavor, really, to me. Like, if it's smooth, I'll do whatever. But, I mean, yeah, I drink a lot of Manhattan's. Like, that's kind of my post-show drink on the road. But if I'm doing straight up, like, I like everything. I like a peaty scotch. I like a sweet bourbon. I like everything. Oh, yeah. But this is very good. Oh, well, thank you.

It doesn't taste super high proof, which is a compliment. Yeah. Sometimes you get those wild turkeys and it's like a shot of gasoline, you know? Yeah. No, it is. And so you'll do it after a show. You know what I find so amazing about bourbon or whiskey in general? Because I'm really kind of like a... Once the pandemic hit, that's what opened me up to whiskey and stuff, is...

I can have two. I mean, and if my tour manager was watching this, he might be like, you have more than two sometimes. But I'll have...

two and i'm good yeah two's perfect i mean whereas beers you can be like i'm a number eight and i'm kind of getting a buzz yeah but with two whiskeys you can be good does that sound like the rationalization of a total drunk no two is two is very modern talk about this all the time with martinis they the famous quote they're like tits right two is the perfect one's not enough three's too many yeah that's great but don't you have two and feel good one another one that's my problem

Yeah, no, well, that definitely... But the good thing is if I'm at home or if I have to get up, I'm not going to do it. Right, right. Two's the move. Are you an at-home... Am I? Yeah. You're an at-home drinker. Yeah, I mean, that's... Does your wife drink with you or no? Yes, yes. But that's some of... And I know you're new to the game, but like... Yeah. And people that are watching or listening, it's like they're... You know, some of what started this was...

When you deal with teenagers, which is like dealing with mentally ill people, you need something to take that edge off. So like in the 50s, they were like, I had a hard day at work and...

You know, when you have teenagers, you're like, I need a break. Right. Do you know what I mean? Oh, yeah. I'm scared of that age. Yeah. You'll be dead. Don't worry. Woo. Thank God. You have that first sip. There's something like that hits so nice. Like when you're stressed and you just have like a sip and you're like, oh, I'm fucking. It works. I feel like things are going to be okay. Right. Yes. Yeah. It does feel like there is the productivity though that.

I feel like sometimes can get in the way. Like there is some particularly writing comedy. Like if I would come home and I would feel inspired to write, um,

if, you know, this is kind of like turning off the brain. Yeah. For me. It's not like, let's have a couple of whiskeys and then we'll think of comedy. I'm kind of like, let's have a couple of whiskeys and fall asleep. Right. Comedy's over. We did that part. But it depends on the comics. I remember I'd be out with Jim Jefferies and I'd be like, oh, this guy's like writing at the bar. He'd be like telling a story and I could see him like picking up where the laughs were. And I was like, oh, this Jim writes drinking. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, not anymore. I don't think he drinks. He doesn't drink anymore. But yeah, I picture you writing jokes at a computer, just typing out. All your jokes feel very organized. I feel like I work 15 times harder. I do it the hardest way possible, which is I'll have an idea. Sometimes I'll improvise something on stage. But then...

then it's i'll listen kind of break it down and then try and find angles around it and then just chip away whereas i've uh occasionally something will come out fully formed or at 70 but otherwise i feel like i'm just mining i feel like i'm a coal miner same you know what i mean were you throwing stuff at the wall because every time i see you even at like gotham i'm like fuck that's like

It's like perfectly well done. Oh, okay. Yeah, I don't see you bomb everyone. I don't really see you bomb. You're doing new. Oh, no. So how do you not bomb? Well, there is... I mean, as you guys know, there's moments that feel like bombing. Sure. You know what I mean? And then there's the jokes you pull up to kind of right the ship. Right. But there is...

Yeah, no, there's sometimes it's throwing out ideas and I feel like I've also been doing it so long where I know what will kind of work. But for me, I think there is I can play on the road. You know, if I'm doing an hour 10 and I'm doing in front of a home crowd, right? It's a home game.

I can play a little bit if they know my point of view. Right, that's true. There's a certain trust there and I would never just go on a rant for too long. But if I'm feeling some give and take...

I'll go with it. But otherwise, I don't know. Some of it is... Everything is a metaphor for me. So some of it is gathering seeds because I also garden. You know what I mean? So it's gathering seeds. You're like the ultimate dad. Yeah, I am. And so gathering seeds, but like...

Some of them take longer to germinate. Right. Yeah. Ain't that the truth. And, you know, like during those first six years, you're like, why isn't this working? I know this is funny. Yes. And now, you know, like I got to put it away. Either I haven't learned how to develop it or...

Or I haven't found the right angle on it. Yes. It's like beef jerky. You have to leave it for a while and then come back. But that's hard to do in the early years. It's very hard to do in the early years. Because you have no material. But all these word docs of like, I never fucking figured that one out. They're like cold cases or something. Yes. Well, I have so many word docs of the same joke over and over again. I worked on that for like a month and just changing...

A certain approach to it. And it doesn't make any difference. But then you'll be on the subway. And you're like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I got it. Right? Yeah. It's the best feeling. You get a gift. Yes. You have to kind of kill your ego. Because you're like, it's got to be this way. And then one day you let it go long enough that you kind of fall out of love with it. And then you can see it clearly. Yeah. Finally. And then there's the touring, which provides kind of the purity of it. Like I just did shows...

in Vancouver because I have a lot of material on bourbon and whiskey not a lot but like and you know when you do an international show things might be slightly different even though Canadians and Americans obviously there's a lot of overlap but it's the shift of like

uh, just, you know, Canadian whiskey is obviously a huge thing there. And then you add in the tariffs and you add in all this. So it's this thing where I'm like, Oh, I can't work on this chunk the way I want to, but that also provides, um, you know, so instead of writing, presenting the jokes as bourbon, I would present them as whiskey, um,

And so and then that would lead me into like there's so much to learn also just on the topic of whiskey in general for me just because I you know I was such a late bloomer. You know what I mean? Sure. Yeah I remember you had a bit where you said you didn't drink. Yeah. I remember it's an old Gaffigan bit from like a Letterman set and I remember like I love the joke you're like it's hard to get a woman drunk.

you know, to drink on a date when you don't drink, you're like all the water and the lady will have a shot of Jaeger. I love that bit. Perfect liquor choice in that bit. Yeah.

So, no, it's weird. Yeah, the mining. Do you ever have a thing where I feel like I'm bombing, I'm bombing for weeks, and then one day you do your act and you're like, oh, I have like nine new minutes. It's because it was gradual. You weren't noticing how much progress you were making. You're great at staying with bits, though. I'll stay with a bit. He'll stay with a bit. I'll be like, if it's not pulling its weight, I'll dump it and I'll look back in like a month or two with fresh eyes, but like...

There's only so long you can give it if it's dragging down the whole set. It's like sports. This guy's not pulling its weight down. It's just the team isn't working in that order. That's what's so crazy. I shifted the order of my hour right now, and this joke that used to really kind of

It was kind of a segue chunk. You know, after I get done with a chunk, I kind of segue into another one. And it used to kill. And I moved this whole chunk back, and now it's kind of like, eh. Interesting. Just because of when it arrives and it adjusts things. So, like, moving, as you guys know, moving the order changes everything. Huge. I mean, I do think that at the beginning it should be,

autobiographical a little i mean this is just what i know out of the gate in an hour you say i think i think it has to be a little i mean i'm a very seinfeld hates this stuff but like i'm a very observational guy right but i believe that you have to be uh uh you have to give some autobiographical some intimacy i you know i have a larger theory i believe that like

Because of reality shows, there is a certain price of entry that we live in such a voyeuristic and exhibitionist culture today versus, say, the 90s or the 80s. So if you look in the 80s or the 90s.

Jerry Seinfeld and Chris Rock, people didn't really, they knew their points of view, obviously very different, but like, but the Chris Rock of 2005 or 2015 or 2020, uh,

People need to know. He has to do something biographical. Well, the tangerine is so different than like Never Scared. Yes. He started digging, started mining this person. The divorce stuff's the most interesting stuff in that hour to me, too. I love that stuff. And Seinfeld, you know, it used to be like a joke about this, a joke about that. And now...

There is, and it varies on the autobiographical, but I think because of reality shows, there has to be a certain amount. I mean, by the way, it's like podcasts reveal stories.

uh, uh, you know, a lot of intimate details indirectly. You know what I mean? So like people that come to your shows and by the way, here are the shows listed. Here's where Mark's going. And here's where Sam's going. That, uh, people are like, because they listen to this podcast, it's,

it'll inform their experience of watching the show. Well, yeah, I get a million, you get these audience members like, when you talked about OCD, that hit home and that's why I became a fan and I told my friend with OCD. So yeah, some people just want, I used to think like the relatable stuff was what people wanted.

Oh, I know what it's like to fiddle with shoelaces. Oh, that guy's my guy now. But I think it is the... You talked about growing up in the South. I'm from the South. That feels like it's what grabs people, the family stuff. Like when Louis started talking about his baby that he hated, I think that's when he blew up. Yeah, yeah. No, I think there is... Yeah, it's weird. It's weird because I believe that some of it is...

There is the emotion, but I'm also a big believer in substance. It has to be substance. Obviously, you guys are both substance guys. But what does that mean, substance? That means where it's also kind of...

It's style versus substance. Now, it used to be like Stephen Wright is absolute. He's so substance, that's his style. Yeah. Oh, interesting. So like an example of someone whose style is...

They do an hour, the crowd's killing. But if you ask the crowd, tell me one of his or her jokes, they'd be like, or if they've, if the substance is the joke, it's the craftsmanship. Got it. Does that make sense? Yeah, I get it. I get it. I thought you meant they had some kind of weighty, like the meaning of life kind of thing. Yeah, no, it's, I don't think it has to be.

Poignant. It doesn't have to be poignant. No, I agree. It just has to be... Yeah, there has to be some...

You can have both, too. Those are the best guys. You have to have a little bit of both. It's weird when a comic would force trying to be poignant when they'd be doing just racist street jokes. And they'd be like, but guys, we got to get along. That's the whole thing. We got to get together. These Asian people. But guys, it's all. But as you know, I'm just joking. I think we should all get along. Right? And so some of those people are.

Really likable people and they can do yes the dose of divide and then a little bit of a hug and because they're so likable people are like that hug was so good. I forgot about

your entire act is just misogyny. Sorry. Oh, no, go ahead. Well, there's a lot of those style guys. They tend to not do stand up forever. And I feel like they can go into like interviewing or a game show or something like that because the substance is so much work.

And if you can just get hot off style, like a Belzer. I think he was all style. Yeah. And now he's on Law & Order for 50 years. But yeah, but you're right. But that's because you're all style. It lends to good characters or something. Yeah, exactly. And I'm not taking it away from the guy. No, he's great on Law & Order. You're better off as an actor or something. And by the way, he was... Not that I'm an expert on him, but he was really like a definitive New York Comedy Club character. He was...

you know in a very smart guy if you hear in interviews and stuff like very smart um what were you gonna say there oh i mean i'm just thinking about what jim said about like you know being personal versus like you know this mystique but like i'm thinking about like because you're kind of like in between errors guy because you're not you haven't been doing it as long as jerry but like

you were doing stand-up in the 90s. So you're a guy, I feel like you kind of made a name for yourself off the observational humor and then you kind of adapted and I think like Mr. Universe, that's like such a personal special. Oh yeah. You have all these like family. So I think like,

It's interesting because you kind of bridge the gap a little bit where like you, I mean, I think of when you blew up and it was like the voice, like, oh shit, no one had done the audience voice. Brilliant. And then you, I think of the Hot Pockets bit and all these observational bits that blew you up. So it's kind of interesting. Yeah, that's not personal. It is interesting. Yeah. I mean, you did the bacon bit on, like, I remember all these bits on Letterman, like, oh, these are just like,

I feel like Mark and I almost got the idea of comedy that, oh, we can just be observational because guys like you were doing that. And I think comedy did change a little bit where they want more. I think you're right. But could Carlin work today? Carlin is zero personal. Zero. Well, he is... I mean, you know, not to nerd out too much. Nerd out, baby. There's prototypes or buckets, right? And first of all, he is...

A truth teller, right? Yeah. He is a truth teller. And some would believe that the problem of today is that our truth tellers are not challenging authority. Whereas like Carlin would... He would be on... Someone would be interviewing for his book and it would be a political show and he'd be like, this whole political system is bullshit. Right, right. And they would be like... And so...

The whole thing is there are certain prototypes. I mean, this is what I've been talking to comedians over the years. I think there's the preacher, right? Chris Rock is a preacher. Yeah.

You know, who else is a preacher? I mean, Kinison was definitely... He was an actual preacher. Kinison was a preacher. And again, this doesn't have to be... But like some of it is that's a performance style. Yeah. Then there's the clown. You know, Howie Mandel is obviously that prototype. And...

Mark Cohen. Right, right. You know, it's like playful, joyful, you know what I mean? And... You know the Mark Cohen joke where he said, a cop knocked on my door. Ah, that's my favorite joke. A cop knocked on my door. He goes, we're looking for a rapist. He goes, I'll see what I can do. It's a great joke. So perfect. And Mark is so sweet. Great guy. Yeah. And so, but like there's, and then there's the observational guys and then there's kind of like

there's the...

Some of it is the professional bombers, the train wrecks, which kind of have the spirit of... Even though he was a jokesmith, right? Rodney. Looking at Rodney. And he was next level. I mean, what he was communicating in these one-liners was just... It transcended in a strange way because his, in my belief, his demographic reach...

Was ridiculous. Oh, yeah. So, like, he got...

He got, you know, he got the, you know, the Borscht Belt audience. He got the... Married audience. The blue-collar guys. He got the kids who were like, this is like my grandpa. He got the 15-year-old boys. Yeah. And he got the comedy nerds. Yeah. You know, like that's, you know, that's very rare. So, wait, wait, you didn't answer the question. Yeah. Could Carlin work? Because it was all basically social commentary and some observational sprinkled in. Yeah.

But he did the absurdist one-liner. He did the absurdist, too. He had phasers. Yeah, he went through phasers. He kind of did every discipline. Yeah, I think that he would have... You know, look, he would have faced a lot of criticism like he was facing even...

even like his last special i mean that that his trunk on suicide is one of my favorite things mark and i talk about it's bad for you all the time because i think the one before life is worth losing was kind of like a miss for him yeah but then it's bad for you like damn this is a great special yeah old guy still got it and he was fun because you watch twitter and it's like the right will claim him when he's like these pussies you can't say anything now and then the left will

left to claim him like abortion what are we doing we got to make it legal and it's that's a real comic when like every side is fighting for you yeah and so yeah I think it would work I think he would be there would be a lot of criticism he would go oh yeah

In and out of favor. He would have been great on podcasts, though, because if you see him in interviews, he's fucking hilarious. It wasn't just the written stuff where he was funny. He was so quick. And he was so thoughtful. He had an opinion on every goddamn subject out there. Yeah, I remember at the original improv, which was on 44th Street. This was probably in, you know, I. So when I started in 90, 91.

Yeah, I know. What year were you born? So like the you would go to the it was really it was down to like because the comedy collapse had happened. It was down to the improv and strip and the strip.

Stand-up New York was still kind of boutique-y. And the cellar was like... The cellar you couldn't get in. Stand-up New York you couldn't get in. You could either get in the improv... You mean just like they wouldn't book you at the time? Well, they weren't embracing... They didn't need new people. So in the 80s when stand-up comedy became a joke on The Simpsons...

Right. Of how bad it was. Brick wall. There was, they did not need anyone at the comedy cellar. It was still the goal. The comedy cellar was still the goal. Stand up New York was much more of a curated kind of upper west side New Yorkers where it was like the New Yorkers that that would go. But it was. And some of this is just my perspective. So I might have it wrong. So like.

There was the original improv and the comic strip. And the original improv was run by Silver Friedman, Bud Friedman's ex-wife. And the comic strip was run by Lucian Holt. Yeah. We've heard so many stories about Lucian. And both of them were kind of power corrupts. You know what I mean? So, like, there was, you know, you hear about these kind of, now, they weren't,

They weren't, you know, predatory. Not that I know of. They weren't highly abusive, but it was just some psychological thing.

that they could justify that would not exist today. Right. So, like, at the original improv, if you were passed or you were given an okay, even before you auditioned, you were encouraged to sit and watch every night. Wow! That's brutal. So I would sit and I would watch. That's the punishment. Community service. And so you would watch...

You know, some good comics. Do you remember who you watched? You were like, this guy's good. Dave Attell. Yeah. You know. Quinn. Brett Butler. Wow. Colin was kind of out of it for a little bit. Really? Colin, when I first started, like, there was no Jon Stewart. There was no Colin Quinn. I think he had kind of like...

um he was on mtv and he was kind of doing us you know oh right he was in a different like he and john stewart were employed right you know i mean and so um but stewart you see in the clubs i wouldn't see john stewart not even later he was kind of just done on larry sanders i never really saw yeah so like he was beyond larry he was kind of at a whole other level like he was

talk show after talk show host. A darling. And so...

But you would go and hang out at the original improv, and I would go and I would hang out there. And you know who was... Andy Engle was there. Wow. Holy shit. Who else was there? That guy was a... He was a poisonous character. Yeah, we don't have to get into that. He was kind of everywhere, right? And so... But like hanging out at the original improv, which had all this history, which would still get some people, but like Silver...

you know, like didn't know how to get people there the way Bud did or, or maybe it was just such a comedy recession that it was just, no one could have done it. Whereas Lucian kind of filled, he would paper the room. Got it. And so, which means like free tickets to people that don't know that. And so the comic strip was, ended up being very observational joke, joke, kind of the, um,

Kind of Seinfeld joke jokes. Kind of like the remnants of the 80s. Whereas Silver, who was an artist, she was a former dancer, and the original improv had this spirit of being much more of a Gilbert. Broadway.

You know, Andy Kaufman, you know, like it started as much more of that coffee house kind of there would be different types of people doing different things. So it was she would she embraced more organic autobiographical Brett Butler, like Brett Butler.

I'm sure she's still alive. Maybe she isn't. I don't know. She was an amazing comedian. I've never seen one minute of her stand up. She was amazing. And I would watch her and she would come in and destroy. Wow. And so she. She's around. She's just acted in something. Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. Her TV show was fun. Yeah. And so like. So I was hanging out at the Improv.

And as and again, I don't think I was even passed. I think I passed and it closed after I'd invested a couple of years. That would happen a lot. That's comedy, baby. So but George Carlin came in.

Don't miss out on sales just because your online checkout sucks. Switch to Shopify and turn browsers into buyers. Shopify is the number one checkout on the planet. With ShopPay, that boosts conversions up to 50%. Your business will be booming in no time. Shopify is great if you don't know.

Get on it now, guys. No more checkout systems that make you jump through tons of hoops. With Shopify, it's so easy for your customers to love something and buy it immediately. You can even make sales anywhere. Shopify works in your store, on your website, and on social media. Upgrade your business to get the same checkout Heinz uses. Sign up for the $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash drunk, all lowercase. Go to shopify.com slash drunk to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com slash drunk.

And he did a set. It was her anniversary. She called in. It wasn't her. It was some anniversary. She called in a favor. He was in the area. Was there a crowd, I hope? Yes, there was a crowd. Did word get out that he was going to be there? You know, again, it was 93. You know, like...

I know there was an audience, but I remember watching him backstage and he had all his jokes written out, underlined in different colors. And maybe he was at a certain point in his development of that hour. But it was like, oh, this guy does his homework. Yes. And...

He was like looking at things and I'm trying to like not be like, yeah, but it was pretty amazing. Then he went on stage. He, you know, obviously, you know, did great. But, you know, I would see Kevin Brennan kill up there. Yeah, sure. And Kevin Brennan was a gun. Great job. And Louie was always doing something interesting. But like a towel was just like.

Like his on-base percentage was insane. Yes. He was Ichiro, man. Every time. Still is. Shortest swing in the game, man. It's unreal. He's still unbelievable. Yeah. And it's just in the bones. But you have that. You do my show all the time at New York Comedy Club, and I see you with the notebook, the binder, and right before you go on, you're doing just a couple of more checks. Okay, what's that?

New line. I was thinking the same thing. You seem so disciplined. I mean, I've talked to Ryan Hamilton about you because he had done some dates with you and Seinfeld together. And I was like, and I'm a nerd about this. So I'm like, what's the routine? What did Jim and Jerry do show day? And he said, Jerry and I usually see a movie. Jim gets to the venue early and is doing his notes. Yeah. I mean, those Jerry shows were great because there is a lot of value in that.

having fun, you know, constructive fun. Cause when you do the shows with Jerry, you have breakfast, then you go to a movie, then you sometimes get lunch, then you go for a walk. And I'm like, Ooh, I love it. Like when I travel, because you know, I like to think it's because I am a parent, but like I, I'm catching up on sleep and I'm writing.

Do you know what I mean? Because sometimes in New York and sometimes I'm dealing with phone calls. I mean, as we all know, it's like you're like, oh, I got nothing to do that day. And then that day fills with stuff. Oh, yeah. Every time. But, yeah, Jerry, I think, has a different approach. But, yeah, I like to go to the theater. But he's still writing, it seems, all the time, right? Yes. Oh, yeah. He's all regimented. He's got his workout schedule, his writing schedule. Yeah.

But he is also like, he doesn't, and you know, there is something, there's different theories on this where he doesn't record his set. And I've heard, I've talked to other people and he doesn't record it. Sanity. And he, so he makes a point of remembering. And I've read this from other comics. It's like, well, you should remember that line. It should be that important.

And some of it is like, maybe I've just destroyed as I sit around all these bottles of alcohol. But like... Your recall? My short-term memory is not great. Sure. But also, like, it's not just the joke. It's the tone of the joke. And also hearing, listening back to the joke is usually how I start writing. I have to listen to the set and then I get in my comedic rhythm. Goldman said the same thing. Goldman's the one who used to talk to me about that all the time. Yeah. No, he... I feel like Gary really has a...

uh a process too and there's there's it's it's you know it's because i have this 13 year old who's really into basketball and he's kind of starting it's like all of it like athletics and process of comedy it's like you make it so you have the best opportunity in the game

Do you know what I mean? Yeah. The process of writing allows you to be in the best position for when the joke arrives. Yeah. And the process of preparing for a game is so that when it is your time to take the shot...

You're not nervous because you've been working on your form shooting anyway. Yeah, I never get these comics who are just like they just tell the same jokes over and over or their career kind of stays the same. And they're like, what do I got to do? And I'm like, you got to write. And they're like, I write on stage. Yeah, but the problem is the culture of a lot of these New York clubs, not to throw shade here, is to kill.

And when the culture is to kill for... Then it's like, why risk it? But you can finesse. You can do a couple in the middle and make it work. But that takes a certain... That takes a muscle. But you got to learn that muscle. And sometimes you get on...

And what if the audience is not great? Well, there's that too. These people are protecting their rent checks. And it gets to a point where then that becomes your life. Those spot pay spots as opposed to like the grander goal of turning out material, which is when Mark and I were coming up, we watched guys like you or Louie or people turned over the jokes. And to us, that was the move. But-

It is scary when you're new at the cellar. I get it. I get it. And all of a sudden you're like, I got no spots? What the fuck? I've been killing. And then you're like, oh, this is arbitrary. This is meaningless. You have to do it for you and not for the spots. Yeah, I think there's a way to teeter both sides. Get the new out and still kill. That is a muscle. But it's a skill, as Jim is saying. But I think every guy's going to learn. Just like you learn the skill of stand-up. That's part of stand-up. That's a tool on the belt, I think.

Yeah, I think we just get comfortable. Yeah, that too. And writing is hard. It's hard to sit down and do the fucking work and have the discipline. And also what works for six months, suddenly that becomes stale. So you have to mix it up. And you're like...

You're like, oh, I go on the subway and I always think of a line. It's like, no, that worked a long time. Then you have to sit there and... This is my lucky car right here. But there's something about... I do believe that environment... I mean, I'm such a nerd about this. I love it. I believe environment is a key contributor to your ability to write. So I believe...

A little bit of a home team helps. So like they know your point of view. They're rooting for you. That's why I like to go to L.A. It's like those L.A. comics and Largo. You're like it's like Moses going on stage. Right. Because they know him. Yeah. Beyond the name. They know the point of view. They've developed a relationship. But I also think that that could be a curse to the shape of the room.

Like if, look, I think the Cellar is beyond a doubt one of the best comedy clubs or the most important comedy clubs in America. But I think if people are walking by, that's not good. I agree. That's great for interactive. That's great for developing short jokes. That's great for certain things. But like a stage, like...

even uh eastville new york comedy club that's a great setting for uh uh for a little bit of both but i think like gotham or the old carolines was was presentational and the thing about presentational is that i believe stand-up is a you know some of it it's like

It's a question of the value of crowd work. I think it's definitely a skill. I think that it is also in some ways a waste of time. Sure. I agree. You know what I mean? It's like sugar. It's fun, but it's not...

I need real food. No nutritional value. It's there kind of like, all right, for dessert, it's fine. At the end, it's fine. But you need a base. You need real food. Yeah. And the material is the real food. Yeah. No one's quoting Chris Rock's crowd work from 10 years ago. Right. They're quoting the great bit. Yeah. And you're someone who clearly labors over chunks. I mean, like when I think of chunks, like you brought up Goldman. Goldman's great at chunks. Great chunks. And it's a skill to keep the ball in the air, so to speak. Like you're really good at that. I mean, that's... And that's...

when you're building bits like that, does it, do you, are you flooded with ideas or is it like, this is brick by brick? I had one thought on a, on, you know, bacon and now it's, or like, how does that process work? I mean, it's, some of it's brick by brick. It's, but it also is, that's the other balance is like how long do you hold on to the topic? Yes. Right. Because,

You know, and I debate this with Jerry because Jerry's like, why are you in a rush? Which is a very intelligent because some of Jerry's longer jokes, the reason they're so long is because he had 10 years old. He had this chapter with it. Then he put it away and then he brings it back and he can add more.

Two more sections to that chunk. Which makes it so brilliant. What I learned in doing the bacon jokes. Is if you get long enough. On a topic. And you're not reintroducing the topic. You can throw in a B or a C level joke. In the middle of this A chunk. And it gets longer and longer. So like. The kind of like. That's a cute observation. Can slide in. And I'm not talking about like. It being filler. But it's.

You know, there's a different purpose. Well, points for keeping it going, too. I think the crowd's like, holy shit, he's still... I mean, I remember when I saw it on Letterman when you did that bit...

And you go, you can't tell me Kevin Bacon's success, like his name is not there. You got that in there. You got that. I was like, oh my God, he's just going to keep going. It was a thing. I think we were watching with my family and everyone was laughing. They were like, holy shit, he's just still going on one subject. Your bit about the password strength on the internet. We won't get into it. I know it's probably, is that on anything yet?

Yeah, that's on the Hulu. Okay. That bit, I watched you work that out at Gotham, and I could see people hitting each other going, I know what he means. Oh, it is weak. Oh, yeah. To me, that's when it's a magic show. Like, everybody's on board. But if you go, what is that, your mom? I thought you were fucking her.

You know, you're like, who gives a fuck? That doesn't... It's quick for four seconds. It's awkwardness. But that password thing, that hits home. And you're like, it brings everybody together in a weird way. Yeah, and I agree. There is a place for crowd work, but it's like, it's bonus. It's not the main thing. I think, you know... Get the clip and move on. Sure. And I think also it's bad training for the audience. If they get a taste for it, they're like...

Aren't you going to talk to, you know, and when I say me, they mean the entire audience. So you don't have to talk to me, but talk to someone. Right. We know these rooms too. There's rooms like, I remember playing like governors and I'm like, oh, they're just going to talk the whole time. Yeah. They just talk at the table. I'm like, you know, I'm here. Like I'm on stage. Those are always the weird ones too. Where you're like, you're like, oh, you didn't, you,

They're having dinner and you're just there. Yeah. Those are weird gigs. Yeah, they're fascinating. I mean, it's... Fascinating. It is so fascinating. It's a show. Yeah. Shut the fuck up. Didn't the woman just start a conversation with you while you were on stage last week? She kept heckling me and I had to do one of these where you're like, you play with it at first, you get a couple laughs out of it, and then you're like, I got to get back to my act.

But you can feel her sitting there and you know she's going to say something again. So you can't focus because you just don't know when she's going to yell out. The worst. And then eventually she yelled out again. And I was like, can we do something here? And then the guy throws her out, which is so fucking annoying. Yeah, then you look like the town. Exactly. The crowd work makes people think like, oh, I'll yell. And the poor security guy is like, is this a crowd work?

moment or is this a disruption? She was probably drunk and you know in her logic she thought she was helping. It was my wife. But you know it's like it's also different when you're doing an hour 20 or whatever on the road versus those 15 minute club sets where you're like I need to figure out a joke right here.

Yeah, totally. But if I'm now at 20, I'll indulge it if it's a long set. Sure. But when it's those short sets, you're like, I really... Also, it can change the energy of the room for the next comic. Crowd work on those short sets can be annoying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a precious amount of time. I remember when there used to be a big thing where... I don't think it happens anymore, but this is like in the 90s, there would be...

People that would go on stage and bring a drink. They would go on stage with a drink and they would be like – and maybe people do it now. I do that. But in some ways, it's like you can't go 15 minutes. Oh, I see. But it used to be more of like people would go on stage and during the set, they would smoke a cigarette. And by the way, I did that. I would smoke – You smoked cigarettes? I smoked cigarettes. Cigarettes.

And but like some of that's that's your character. That's what is that? I'm talking. No, I'm talking about I'm holding a drink like literal. I need a cocktail. Literally a taping. I'm not talking about like this is a celebration. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about like I need a sip of water.

Because I'm going to be working so hard for seven minutes. Oh, okay. Ron White historically would drink like a fifth. Yeah, tequila. That's fine, even though obviously that's probably not fine. But I'm talking about the people that are like, I can't get through this set without a sip of my water. Now, if you're like...

If you're, like, having a drink and you're, like, part of – it's a party of a – part of a party atmosphere on a Saturday night, that's different. I'm talking about, like, you can't get through, like, I need a sip of my drink. It's, like, it's a 15-minute set. I see what you're saying. Yeah, but back to keeping the ball in the air. You know who's the king of that that no one talks about is Regan.

Regan could mine a premise for everything it was worth and beat it out. He was every part of the buffalo, and it's incredible to watch that bit about him trying to weigh his package. And the guy's like, step on the scale with the package. Now he's like, now I can't see the numbers. I mean, it's so long, and every inch of it is flawless. Yeah, no, Regan, unbelievable. Unbelievable. I mean, when I started...

I think that like there was these awards like... I remember I was...

opening i took um amtrak i thought it would take amtrak to buffalo one week and then i would amtrak from buffalo to cleveland what are you homeless i've done those i used to do that all the time it was just so brutal and then i'm just bombing the entire time and so like and then i think like

I had been recommended by the DC improv and someone was like, why would the DC, like the manager literally said, why would the DC improv recommend you? And I was like, I don't know. Um, but, but I remember, uh,

In Cleveland, there used to be these different comedy magazines. And I saw that the American Comedy Award that Regan, because you used to only be able to win it once. And he won it twice. I didn't even know there was this existence. I didn't either. This was back in the 90s. Interesting. It wasn't even a newspaper. It was tablet. No.

You started with Geraldo. You were tied with Geraldo, right? Yeah. And he wanted to be Regan, and you wanted to be Attell, I heard. And then it flopped. Yes. It totally flip-flopped. And when we met, we were both... I was an account manager in an advertising agency, and he was a lawyer. He was at some highfalutin law firm. And so we were the only people. It was at Sweetwater's, which is...

Was on 2nd Avenue and... Or 1st Avenue or Lexington and 53rd. It was upstairs. But it was... Now I can't... I'm blanking. But like... Yeah, I met him and...

You know it was it was like I was like he thought he thought I was funny and I thought he was funny and and early on when you meet someone who you're like fucking good you're like oh my you like grab onto them. Yeah. Like a fucking like a life. Absolutely. Like a life. Internet. So it's not you have this community online where you can talk to somebody. This is like I need a guy lonely. Yeah. Yeah. And that was like.

That wasn't like, hey, let me get your cell phone number. It was like, where are you going next? Yeah. Were you hitting the mics with him? So, like, eventually, Geraldo... Because Geraldo was so engaging. I mean, so funny, but so engaging. Like, people immediately liked him. Right. So he would... And he was from Queens, so he could do the city and Long Island, right? And so...

I would meet him in Long Island. And so sometimes I would take the Long Island Railroad to do chuckles or governors. And he was the only reason I would get on because he could communicate because I was like this blonde guy in khakis. It was this fag. So I was not like...

I was like a – I remember like I was a college guy, a guy who was in college. Like it was so absurd. And now it's like a very upper middle class occupation, I would say. But back then it was like – it was – Rough and tumble. It was like –

It would just be weird if it was – like there were intellectual comics, but like no one liked them. You know what I mean? Yeah. Does that make sense? Yeah. I feel like Dennis Miller in Monday Night Football was like a punchline because of the words he was using. You're like – But did you like really – who did late night first, you or Greg? Do you remember? Oh, Greg did everything first. I mean, well, Greg and I both –

There was the most prestigious show outside besides Letterman or The Tonight Show was Caroline's Comedy Hour. So like that was the one that was approachable. They would do. So like Colin hosted that. And then, well, you know, again, Colin was.

So big that like he would just host Caroline's right and he would but like so then there was a new season where it's going to be Richard Jenny was the host and they were looking for.

They wanted to get a couple new comics. And so Geraldo and I both auditioned, both got it by... And so that was like, oh my gosh, here we go. And so then he got managed by Caroline's. They wanted to manage him. Does that mean that Caroline Hirsch is your manager? No, she was starting...

That was the preeminent club. And so she was starting a management company. So she hired managers and Greg was one of their first clients.

And because of Caroline, they had such incredible connections. So, like, they had influence in who could go to Montreal. Obviously, Greg got Montreal on his own. But, like, then Greg got Montreal. Is Montreal dead right now? Is that festival over? It is coming back, I heard. It is. A new guy bought it. Like herpes. Yeah. Right, right. Can't get rid of it. But so he got Montreal, and then...

uh and he got an agent so he was like blowing up even before he got to montreal and that was when montreal the redevelopment deals five hundred thousand dollars oh yeah three hundred thousand dollars and you seem like you're tailor-made for like a sitcom back in the day and well you know and so but oh but you know what i think is also you'll get a kick out of this so at that caroline's taping

A comedian came down from Canada who was... She was really funny and she was like... And it was Bonnie McFarlane. Oh, wow. And so Bonnie... And then Ian Bagg came down later from Canada. But like that was...

So I remember like Bonnie, like everyone was in love with Bonnie. Oh my God. Cute. Great jokes. Yeah. Dark. And she's still beautiful. Yeah. She looks great. I know. She did like 25 years ago. And so dry and sarcastic. Yeah. So funny. And just like she knew exactly who she was. It was pretty impressive. Rich Vosling is still confused. It's fascinating. Yeah. It's fun. Yeah.

Yeah. But also comedy, when I started, I was doing the alt world. That still was kind of the remnants of that. We're still there. And they have all these clubs that you were doing, but comedy was still kind of underground, niche. Mark and I kind of met in the middle. Mark was kind of more in the alt, and I was more of a clubby. And we started hanging out, and then Mark would come to the strip with me, and we would like... But you were interesting because you were... There's nothing there. It's like ghost land. But you started...

Like, there's not a lot of comics who have, like, steady acting careers. You've been in so much stuff. If we pull up his IMDb page, it's probably insane. Oh, that too, yeah. I remember you were on, like, that 70s show. Yeah. I mean, you were on... Yeah, Super Troopers. Well, some of these... I love the... I love acting. It's like, I always thought that I would be able to, like, create this acting career that would... But it's like...

I don't know, like how many times I've done these indies and I'm so grateful and then they'll go to Sundance and I'll be like... Like I went to Sundance like four years in a row. And I'm like, I am set. I never have to audition again. And then I don't get an acting role for like two years. Because you turned down Harvey. No, but like some of it is like, you know, it's... You don't have any control. Which is the one that you thought was going to be the biggest that just didn't blow up? Um...

I thought that, well, there's, I mean, it's like which year, you know, like there's, like I did this movie, Eugene the Marine, that is really great. It's a really artistic thing. It's got all these amazing people in it. And like pull up Eugene the Marine because like,

That one I thought that it would definitely be awards bait. It's about this guy played by...

No, I can't even see that far. Yeah, Scott Glenn. Oh, he's good. Still ripped, by the way. He's like 83. He's like 83, shredded, like doing push-ups in between takes. And he's playing this 80-year-old. And it's kind of this horror film, kind of an homage to the giallo Italian types of film. And I thought, oh, this will definitely go to...

Sundance or, um, can or, or can, or even Toronto. And some of it is, it didn't, you know what I mean? I'm just like, I don't understand it. It's like Scott Glenn. I think is, I haven't watched white Lotus. I think he's on white Lotus. It's like, Oh yeah, this is like the dad, you know, one of these things where you're like, I can't,

Understand that. But then there's American Dreamer where I thought for sure that would go somewhere. Yeah, you're grading that. Yeah. Linoleum, I thought for sure that would go somewhere. And these directors... You're good at being scary in movies. Oh, thanks. It's shocking because it's just like, oh shit, he's not...

But all these great directors. And then I did Peter Pan where I played Mr. Smee. And that was David Lowery. I'm like, oh, here we go. Yeah, yeah, right. No one saw it. And I'm like, all right. But that's all right. Is it true? Speaking of acting, you got your own show. I remember that was a big deal. You had a lot of comics on it. And then you pulled the plug. Yeah, that was because we kind of created...

a really impossible situation where it was autobiographical. Yep. The shows were written by my wife and I, obviously we had some help from people and we were, I was portraying myself and, uh,

And we had five young kids. So, like, imagine, like, both... And, you know, there are plenty of couples where both spouses work. Yeah. But, like, we're working, like, 16-hour days. And it's like, this is insane. Yeah. This is...

You know, we can pull this off, but, like, if you're... If you want to do it right, and it's not like I'm some great dad. You know, I travel too much, too. But, like, at least one parent's there. Right. Whereas opposed to us both being gone, and we're in the city, and then you have... I mean, you're a kid so young, but you'll have these babysitters, and you'll be like, okay, they're good, but, like...

They're pouring sugar on toast. Oh, yeah. And you're like, as much as I think she's a great grandmotherly figure, she shouldn't be eating our children breakfast. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. And so, yeah, it was kind of that. That's what's weird also is.

The appeal, if either of you were given an opportunity for a TV show, you would make less money. That's the other thing. Isn't that amazing? It's a weird state of the industry. And by the way, more people would see you. Uh-huh.

In a Netflix special or a special on Hulu or Amazon or whatever, or YouTube even, then a TV show on one of the great streamers. And there's a lot of great streaming platforms. But like I saw an ad for I saw Billy Bob Thornton do this incredible speech about.

And I was like, what movie is that from? And it's from some TV show, Landman. Yeah, it's good. And I'm like, I've never even heard of that. And I'm not like, oh, I don't know what's going on. Like, I know what's going on. I'm like, and it's like John. It's a big show. Yeah. It's like Taylor Sheridan. Sheridan. Yeah. There's too many shows like. Right. But, you know, like how many of the Taylor Sheridan shows have you watched?

Just like the first season of Yellow. That's because you're gay. If you were a film man, you would have watched all of them. Dude, he wrote so many good movies. Like, High Water, Wind River, all these, like, he had, Sicario is great. Oh, that's him? Yeah. Holy shit. I think he wrote Prisoners, too. He wrote, like, he had a run of, like, crazy. What a talent. Yeah. Wow.

Yeah, I don't know how he does all that. I don't either. It's insane. He's got like a $600 million ranch in Texas. I bet.

Jesus. That he shoots on and uses as a read-off. Yeah, but is he happy? No, he's thrilled. Yeah, but is he really happy? No, he's really happy. He's very happy. Creatively fulfilled, a billionaire. I think he's doing all right. You always got to find a hole. Yeah. But you know what? You're in so much shit. I was watching TV the other day, and it was just like a movie with Alec Baldwin and Salma Hayek. And I was like, holy shit, that's Jim Gaffigan.

Oh, yeah. You just like pop up in so many things. Yeah, I love working. It's fun, right? Yeah. It's fun. I like it. Just trying to get my dad to like me. Yeah. But that's the question. Back in the day, everybody watched one show. You know, the whole country got together and watched one show or one Letterman or one whatever. Now we have a million splintered avenues. Is that better? Yeah.

Or is that worse? Because Landman's a good show and no one's heard of it. No one's seen it. No, people are watching that. People are watching, but he's in the business. I know, but it's renewed. That's true. Sometimes it takes shows a couple seasons to get an audience. Is it Apple? I don't know. Yeah. I don't even know what stream. Exactly. I saw a couple clips. Every now and then you get a White Lotus, which is like taking over the Zeitgeist. You get a Squid Game. You get that one show that somehow punches Breaking Beds and all those types. I mean, that's older, but like...

It's hard to get that breakout show now. I can't get into White Lotus. I understand that he's a good writer, but there's something about it that doesn't hit for me. Everyone's like, this fucking insane. This monologue by Sam Rockwell. And I'm like, he just likes fucking Asians? That's the monologue? People are praising this as the greatest monologue ever. And he's like, I love Asian shit. But I think it is so bizarre how...

Some of it is like I think Mike White does have a touch for what the Zeitgeist is like. Yes, totally. Clearly. I'm the odd one out. I'm just saying it's like almost like vacation porn meets like murder. He's gotten all the things that people –

Annoying. Rich people are bad. We all know rich people are bad. Like, I'm not like that. We like watching them. But I know someone like that. Yes. So rich people like it. Then they had that Trump conversation with the two liberal people. That's very interesting because that's happening. And you don't see that on TV. That happens all the time. And that's a huge part of our country. And no one brings it up. I acknowledge that it's interesting. I even read a profile on The New Yorker. And I was like, wow, he sounds like a really interesting man.

He's an interesting dude. I didn't know he was on The Amazing Race with his dad. Yeah, yeah. They're both gay dudes. There's so many things going on. And he's been around forever. He's been just plugging away forever. School of Rock, School of Rock, Tim. School of Rock's great. That's him. Also, one of my favorite shows was, you'd think I'd know the name of it, but it was on HBO. So amazing. Enlightened?

Yes. Yes. So good. Unbelievable. He gets into that crazy mind. He's so good at it. And she was like an activist, annoying activist lady. Yeah. It's fun. And so there's... I think he kind of captures just... And like that was... That came out before... Like that was kind of this commentary on... Narcissism. Narcissism and also...

It's a strange kind of commentary on female empowerment going wrong. Oh, yeah. He's basically saying women are crazy. Is there any other kind? It wasn't that flat-footed, right? Yes. Yes. Yeah. Exactly. He's so good with the layers and the nuance. All right, I'll give it another chance. It's good. And he can do the twists and turns, too, with the mystery shit. Yeah. Jim, what are your top movies ever? What do you go to? Top movies ever? Yeah. Yeah.

Gosh, it's been a while. It's so weird when it ends up with Rodney Dangerfield on the screensaver. God, what do I love? Like, what did I love? I mean, I don't know. I mean, it's like I want to say It's a Wonderful Life, but... That's a great movie. It is a good movie. I loved Apostle with Robert Duvall. Never seen it. I heard it's great. It's really good. It's a lot of great story in that. Yeah.

He's always good. You know, but I love a lot of Alexander Payne stuff. Oh, I love Payne. I could see you in that type of movie. I would love to do that. Yeah, Sideways is as good as it gets, man. Yeah, and so there's... But I love, like... Is that what he looks like? Yeah. Oh, I never knew that. So some of that comedy of that, even though, like, I think... And I like the last one he did. Me too. But it was just, like...

But he captures a comedy that is not as... And by the way, it's different from what we do. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. But I love the fact that it kind of... It's interesting that we're talking about him with Mike White because they both have this...

uh approach to like these characters that are not traditional so like mike white and also alexander payne you know supposedly on sideways uh george clooney really wanted to be in it and alexander payne was like no i don't want him i want this i want this tv guy thomas hayden church and thomas hayden church was amazing he killed it so funny and i'm sure mike white

whoever the hell he wants. Yeah. White Lotus. I auditioned for White Lotus. Whoa! The first one during the pandemic. It was the... Patrick Schwarzenegger role? No, no, no. The first season. It was the guy. He was so good. He was the Australian guy who ends up eating ass. Oh, yeah. It's been a while. Hold on. Pull up the poster.

I think he's the hotel. Oh, the hotel guy. Murray, whatever his name is. Oh, the guy who gets got, right? Yeah. The drug addict. Yeah, he gets... And then... Damn. It's weird because it's like...

I don't know. Don't you hate that when you have an audition for commercials and then you're like on the road bombing at the hotel and you see the commercial with the guy and he looks just like you and you're like, God damn it. He's just a little better looking. Well, I look at that and I'm like, why would he think I would be right for that character? Yeah, I was thinking that too. I mean, you probably look at a wide range of people, right? Yeah. I also just found out that every actor since this first season earned the same amount of money. Yeah. Across the board, everyone made...

30,000 an episode. Maybe not 40,000 an episode. Yeah. I looked up the resort in Thailand. It's a four seasons. Yeah. It's like 500 a night. Yeah. And by the way, so like, here's the other thing. I didn't read the article and I don't know if this is just clickbait, but you know, cause we talk about navigating the zeitgeist, right? Supposedly. And I only watched the first episode, but Carrie Coon's character is,

there was a whole storyline where she had a kid that was trans and that storyline was cut. Because of Trump. Oh yeah. And not because of Trump, but because I think that like,

We do live in this day and age where people are like there's a fatigue surrounding it. You know what it is though? Also, it's like they did it in Fargo. It was a really good season, I thought, but they did in Fargo with the kids, like non-binary. And it does get to a point where you're like, all right, but the math isn't adding up. It's like when you watch TV and every judge is a black woman and you're like, you're doing this to do this now.

Well, that says something about Mike White that he's like, hey, maybe they'll think this. So I won't do this. You know, he's three steps ahead of us. Yeah. Well, he often does show both sides of an issue. Yeah. So I think showing the other side of the trans issue is not cute now. Where, you know, because of the laws that Trump put in place. Right. I think it's sort of like, I don't think we should show the other side here. Yeah. Well, you know, but I actually think it's different from that. I think that.

The evolution is that you don't get hero points for portraying it. There's an exhaustion, like you're saying, of being exposed to it. And it's not a fearful or unempathetic take on it. It's just kind of like... Also... It's been done. Why...

Give you know, if half the country was like, we are so sick of that stuff, please stop. He knew to like, oh, all right, we don't need it anyway. Right. Is it making the show better? I mean, and there's so many people watching this stuff is escapism. Yes. And so many shows now are like work.

And you don't want to, like, turn on a show to zone out, especially a show like this, and you're just like, why are you throwing this at me right now? I'm trying to watch this. I'm trying to watch a murder take place. Why are you throwing... But I kind of lost, you know, like, even the first episode where it was like...

And I don't know if I really... I think I gave up on the second season. And Mike White is brilliant. And if he's watching this by chance, I really want to be in. But that first episode where I was like... And the guy's like, there's someone shooting. I'm like, okay. And then we're going to spend the whole season. It's like, who was the shooter? Who was the person coming undone? Was it this guy? Was it this guy? Which reminded me of the first season...

where the casket's like, all right, who's in the casket? Why is that guy upset? We're going to find out. Yeah. Right? Isn't that just his style? I guess it's his move. That's probably effective storytelling. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I think he knows what he's doing. Yeah. Yeah. I think, welcome back to the Mike White show. Funny guy. Yeah.

Talented guy. Great. Enlightened, one of the... I can't believe that that didn't... I know. Maybe I should watch it. What are your go-to shows when you're on the road and you're like, I just want to zone out? What's a comfort show for you? I love... I'm a news junkie. Oh, no. Be careful. No, I totally...

But you zone out to Stossel. John Stossel. Why is my mustache getting gray? No. So, yeah, no, I don't really like I loved I loved. What's the the Apple show that everyone loves with Adam Scott?

I love the severance. I love the first season. Everyone's like the second season. You got to watch. I still haven't watched it. Yeah. I love the first season of Game of Thrones offshoot Iron Eagle, what it's called. Really? Then the second season I couldn't get into. And so it's just like now I'm so impatient. I don't have the commitment to.

To even start something. And some of it is figuring out. It's navigating what to watch with my wife, with my kids. And so we end up like I have like a 12, 13, 15 year old at home and the other two are at college. So it's usually a horror film. That's what escapes the veto proof thing. Or but like I can't.

I will, you know, like sometimes I'll push in an Ari Aster movie. I'll be like, we're watching Midsommar. And they're like, oh, gee. And my wife will be my wife who when we were dating, we would watch a lot of indie films. It's like, oh, my God, Jesus Christ. We're trying to relax. Why are we watching an Ari Aster movie? But he's brilliant.

Yeah, he's great. He did Hereditary, right? Yeah. No, so we watched that and she's like, what are we doing? That's scary. Yeah, yeah. I was just like, I love it. But that fits in that kind of horror adjacent where I can, I'll dip into that if I'm going to pull my dad card thing. But it's a lot of, I'm trying to think of a horror film, but it's usually like,

You know, a horror film that a 12 and a 13-year-old would want to watch. Uh-huh. So, but on the road, I'm like, I'm just consuming news about how our economy is about to collapse and stuff like that. Good stuff. And just also mindful of that. Right as we're all announcing new tours. Yeah. That is a horror film in a weird way. Yeah. It's bizarre how we're processing it and how there's a certain denial and... Canada's mad at us. Never thought I'd see that. I think Canada... Let me tell you this.

I did this as a joke when I was in Vancouver. And by the way, those audiences in Vancouver were amazing. I'm going there soon. I love Vancouver. Amazing audiences. And so I have this joke where I talk about, I make a reference to, I think it's some serial killer's son of Sam or whatever. Or maybe it was Taxi Driver where the guy was like, I'm going to shoot the president to impress this girl. Right? Yeah.

And so I have this joke where this dog tells me to shoot the president. And so I do that joke. And so in every time I do it, there's some audiences that don't get the fact that it's a serial killer reference and they think it's me proposing to shoot Trump. And they go bananas, right? In Canada. Oh, God. It would turn into an. They hand you the gun.

And so what, and then I would kind of riff on it afterwards. I was like, you know, cause I've been doing standup long enough. I remember when we, so like as from my perspective, as an American, when you would do a show in Europe, there would be a little condescending. You guys have done international. Oh yeah. Right. And so, and the English are just kind of condescending in general, but they, but when we would deal with,

So when we went through the Gulf War, post 9-11, the Gulf War, it's like there was a moment when we lost the Irish. And I was like, oh, my God, I can't believe the Irish. And as an Irish American, I was like, that's kind of sad. Yeah. But the Canadians were always like, yeah, you know, it's, you know, it's, you know, it's not you. It's your government. It's foreign policy. Sorry. And so.

But my joke was like I would bring that up that the Canadians were always there. And now the Canadians are like, we hate you. Yeah. And they would. Oh, they're ready to scrap, dude. Oh, yeah. They're furious. Oh, yeah. They were the upstairs neighbor that was boring. You know, Mexico was the neighbor. You were like, this guy's a little unhinged. But now they're the angry neighbor. It feels like our parents are going through a divorce. And they're like, is it our dad's fault? Yeah. I went to...

whiskey bar in Vancouver because you know I'm an alcoholic I do that in every city now and welcome went to this Irish it had an Irish name but it's whiskeys from around the world right and those bars are amazing there's amazing ones all across the country too by the way and so went in there sat down

And I don't like scotch. You know, I'll try Canadian whiskey if I'm in Canada. You know, if I'm in Ireland, I'll drink Irish whiskey. But I like bourbon. And so I'm like, all right, I'm going to get a bourbon.

No bourbon. I go, this is a world whiskey bar. And they're like, no, we're not selling any American whiskey. And I go, so did you get rid of it? And they're like, oh, it's back there. We're just not selling it. Dang.

Man, they're hurting their own business. They're holding it hostage. So it was like, okay, I get it. And then we went back to our hotel that was owned by an American company and I got a bourbon. I mean, did they go all the way with no Coke? No Sprite? No, I think it comes down... I think some of that has to do with... You gotta drink Canada Dry, dude. I guess so. I bet that's American. I mean, even though Coke... I think that Canada is being tactical, like...

They're picking red states. So... Oh! Urban and rye comes from red states. Bodega cat comes from a red state. Oh, but salt and blue? Yeah. We're all over the map. We're all over the map, baby. Oh, yay, yay. But you were born in a red state. I am. So watch out. What about you? Wow. I think... I mean...

I think Indiana voted for Obama once. Louisiana voted for him. We're reminiscing. Indiana's got a black friend. All right, well, shit. We got to wrap this thing up here. We got to wrap it up. Jim, you want to plug some dates? Are you going out? Are you doing solo? I'm always touring. But no, I want to plug that Father Time.

Bourbon. You know what would be a perfect gift for Father's Day? A bottle of Bodega Cat and Father Time. I love it. Where can people get Father Time? Because you need a bourbon and you need a rye on your bar. It's true. You got to make the cocktails. Where can people buy this? FatherTime-

FatherTime-Bourbon.com. Okay. It's really good stuff, guys. Very nice. It's not bad. We give it the Bodega Cat seal of approval. This is very good whiskey. Jim's got very good bourbon. Yeah. We had poor doses on it. It's horrible. We're not competitors. We're not. No. We're friends. Maybe we do a collab. We're friends. We're like Canada and America. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Go get Jim's stuff. See Jim on the road. One of the best comics. Killer. Appreciate it. April 25th at Key Bank State Theater. Yes. Going to Cleveland. Hell yeah. And then May 1st at the Pace Center in Greenville. And you're going to North Carolina. Sorry.

Charlotte, South Carolina, North Charleston. Yeah, I mean, that's what I love. Every state, so I invite distilleries. You should do that. You invite distillery folks to the show. I learned a lot. Matt Herman, get off it. Get on it. Smart. And it's fun. And obviously Cincinnati, it's like right next to Kentucky, so there's tons. And then...

You know, obviously there's great rye in Indiana. Damn, you're doing a lot of shows at the Taft Theater. Vegas. That's a great room. It's a great room. Ooh, the wind. You're doing some fun stuff coming up. Yeah. No, I'm very excited. Foxwoods.

And then Grand Rapids, Duluth, Atlanta. I hear Duluth is a hidden gem. Duluth is fun. That's what Nate was raving about it. Yeah. Duluth and also Rochester, Minnesota. Oh, I like that. Oh, it's a good one. Yeah, I've done a casino there once. That's where the Mayo Clinic is. Yep, that's right. I'm checking in, baby. That's where they have the biggest bell tower ever.

Biggest Bell. You went for the mayor. I have a bit on Bells that was inspired by Rochester. Okay. But that's like two specials ago. All right. Anyway, thanks, you guys. You guys also have shows coming up. Yeah, we got shows coming up. I got Minneapolis, Phoenix.

San Diego, Sacramento, SF, Portland. Added a late show there. Get on that. We got Seattle, Vancouver. We added a late show. Boise, Idaho, Denver. And I just added some shows for the summer. I'm going to do the Wilbur again. Nice. I'll do a few there for a weekend maybe. And then I got a... Who? Got a Jersey. Going to do Jersey in July. It looks like we're going to do Count Basie. Great. Count Basie is a great... Yeah. And then...

There was one other we just added there, too. That's, you know, by the way, that's where... And Wellmont and Montclair as well. Seinfeld does... I mean, not Seinfeld. Springsteen.

I saw Lily Tomlin there back in the day. She killed it. It was a great show. I mean, it's beautiful. I can't wait. So yeah, samoreal.com slash shows. Follow us on. Are you on Punch-Up, Jim? We got to get you on there. What's Punch-Up? Oh, we got it. We'll talk. Uh-oh. Is it another money laundering theme? Human trafficking. Bristol? Who's doing Bristol?

I'll go anywhere. Asheville. That's ESPN. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. Asheville. No, not Tennessee. It's Bristol, Connecticut, not Tennessee. Oh, that's Bristol. Yeah, Tennessee. New Brunswick. Bristol, Tennessee? Yeah. Oh, that's like where they got the big race, don't they? Yes. The Speedway is over there. New Brunswick. See, I am white trash. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

No one's questioning Ithaca. Then we got going to the UK, Reykjavik. Reykjavik's so fun. Is it? Yes. Those are your people, you whitey. Yes, yes.

You got to get the Black Death. That's where Black Death is not a watery drink. It's actually a very, it's like 160 proof liquor. What is it? Sickle Cell? 160 is fucking vicious. Belfast, Glasgow. Keep going. Then we're back at Rochester, Portchester, Albany, Burlington, Wausau. I hope I'm saying that right. Wausau. Wausau. Thank you. Eugene, San Jose, Hyannis, Massa, the Melody Tent. That'll be interesting. Connecticut,

And then we're going to Australia and New Zealand. Oh, wow. That's a trip. Which I love. You've been there. And so are you bringing the baby? I think we're going to leave him in the car. Yeah? No, I think we're going to just give him to the grandma for two weeks. No, yeah, because that is a long run down there. Yeah, he's young. He's, you know, three months, not ready. He also smokes, so that long flight. Yeah, that's true. We got him on the patch.

Also, lastly, Page to Stage, a documentary I worked on with Mark, is now available on Punch-Up Live. Punch-Up. Page to Stage. We'd love to have you on, Jim. I'm actually in it. Yeah, you're in it. Oh, my God. You and Jerry and Jon Stewart, we did that military benefit. Yeah, I remember that. Yeah, we were shooting that. That's where I was like, I'm going to get everyone to sign this bottle of... That was Canadian whiskey that they make. They...

bottle in oregon oh yeah that was i mean that was right when trump won and john stewart went up and talked about it and it got weird but uh yeah fun night fun episode check it out on punch up oh so wait a minute so how many how many uh so that's episode two so there's different where we tried to get mark to write one clean joke to perform in front of you and jerry it took him six weeks six

And so is this on your YouTube channel? Yeah, we're trying to sell this, but it's doing well on Punch-Up. We're making a couple bucks, and yeah, it's on Punch-Up. And then eventually it'll be on YouTube, but it's behind a paywall right now. We'll explain Punch-Up to you. It's fucking good, man. Yeah. You should get on it. Is it your business? No, it's a friend of ours started it, and we use it because, like, you know...

Views and engagement are down across the socials like it doesn't matter your follower count No one's seen your no one's seen your posts anymore So I is that because they're changing the algorithm to compete with they want they see tick tocks getting banned So they're trying to get everyone from tick tock on an Instagram. So it's like they're not prioritizing like jokes anymore It's now just like dumb shit and dancing and stuff like that would blow up on tick tock So we want to you can build my algorithms all prayers. I

Well, you get a lot of, if you do punch-up, you get a lot, you can just collect emails, and you just have emails or phone numbers, and you can just blast them, and it's not buried. I like it. We're a big fan of it. Bill Burr's on it now. Yeah, Burr, Segura's on it now. Everyone's getting on it. Tim Dillon, Mark and I. Louie's on it. Louie's on there, yeah. It's good, man. We recommend it. Louie's tour gate? Jim Jeffries is on there. Oh, nice. I just talked to him in Nashville. He's the man. He's a good ex. Sober Jim, it's a different bird.

But yeah, fun guy. So yeah, check it out. Check out his Hulu special as well. That's out there. And yeah. FatherTime-Bourbon.com FatherTime. All right, guys. There you go. We'll see you on hell. This woman doesn't look like I remember. Be true.