Ep 236: Joel McHale
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okay we got a wine snob with us right here yeah absolutely so if if not wine we could do like we got every like you have uh do you have an ipa do we have beer i don't good god oh we got everything except for wine we have we're liquor drinkers we're not really beer guys

It's fine. I drink scotch. Okay, we got great scotch. But no, I want to drink wine. Come on. This is early in the day. Let's see what the rating is. It's very early. Which scotch is it? Let me start opening there, JoJo. All right, the 2019 guys. Here we go. Ooh.

$12.97. Hey! In New York. Well, that was when it was new. Actually, we shouldn't have that. That's a headache in a bottle. So, I need to go. Should I call my ex? Hey! Let's do... Because with some of these, it probably is fine, but...

I don't know if they reverse engineer cheap wines. I'm not kidding. They'll be like, oh, you like the taste of that? They use all these powders and chemicals and stuff to make it taste a certain way. That shit gives you a headache.

Thank you. Easy, RFK. Thank you. All right. Good to know. Wine is the worst hangover, I think. Yeah. Sangria is the worst. Oh. Because that's wine, but with other shit. Gross. I don't. All sugar. It's the hard liquor that gets me. Really? Yeah. So let's do. No, no. That gives me the hangover. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Even like a clean tequila or vodka. Clear liquor to me. I'm good. I'm good.

No. It's got so much more alcohol in it. That's true. That's why I like it. You know, distilled. But wine is sugar, dude.

The sugar doesn't... The same thing doesn't happen if you have a donut. I feel like shit if I eat a donut. Look at you. You're fucking ripped, by the way. I didn't realize you were shredded. I had a donut today. What a dilf. Killing it. We had a cronut yesterday. I feel like you hide it on the comedy shows a little bit. Now I see it. I'm like, this guy's kind of shredded. I wear shirts from Baby Gap. That'll do it. It's the only way I can show it off. Did you find an IPA? No. All I have is warm garage

You have a flavored beer? Ugh. That's Whitney Cummings shit right there. This is embarrassing. She was pushing that stuff on us. I'll have a Whitney Cummings kombucha. That's great. I'll also have... Are they cold? Okay, I'll do a kombucha then. All right. Spike kombucha. How many drinks have you guys had? What's the record on the pile? We've blacked out. We've got Bert Kreischer on. We've had animals on. Yeah, he's... So... Bert, he's my hero. Oh, wow. You're the one.

For drinking. That one is less... I like grapefruit. This is the personal Whitney one. This is the one that made her fuck her stalker. She had a baby with a stalker. She did? Yeah. She's open about it. I don't think this is your story to tell. No, no, no. I'm the stalker. Oh, congrats. Thank you. I didn't think she'd keep it. You were saying you're not touching this because it's too squishy? Well, that one... It's not as...

It pressurizes the others. I don't know. It's like an avocado. Cheers. Thanks for having me. Hey, Mazel Tov. Cheers, guys. Here we go. I got to pull this up, but I have a photo I opened for you in Carolines in 2009. I remember. Yes. You were pumped. I was very pumped. I have a photo of us in the green room bitching about Chevy Chase. Oh, perfect. Yeah. Yeah. That's a daily occurrence.

And now Caroline's is gone and Chevy's still here. Yeah. Let's see our photos. I did not think he would outlive that club. That's crazy. I know. I'm surprised it went down. Are you still on bad terms with Chevy Chase or not? Well, it's not that it was bad.

I don't know. I haven't talked to him forever, but it's not long ago in the syncs where we ever were like, that's it. There was never that. But I've been very vocal about it. He didn't want to be there. No. It's so weird to not work for that long and then get a great gig and be like, fuck this. Yeah. He was. Yeah. He didn't. Yeah. We shot him out each day. Yeah. I mean, yeah.

There's enough... Yeah. ...about how, you know, his behavior on set. Yeah, yeah. He's still good on the show. I mean, he's still funny. He's amazing. He's great. He's a bro. He's so funny on it. And when he knew his lines, he was great. Yeah. Man, he was a hunk back in the day. He was a tall... He was a...

for real leading man. Oh, yeah. Were you a big fan growing up? Yeah. Huge. Yeah. Yeah. Famously Fletch and Vacation. Those were, I memorized those. Same. Same. And, but then like, like what, the one where he's snorting cocaine. Yeah.

Wow. Foul play? There's a foul play. There it is. Yeah. Oh, wow. Oh, modern problems. There it is. Oh. Yes, sorry. Foul play was the Goldie Hawn joint. Yeah, but he had a run, but then he really had some stinkers too. But hey. But don't we all. Who doesn't? Right. Yes. There it is.

There you go. That's the backstage comedian. But he popped in a good one. Like, Three Amigos is funny. I love Three Amigos. Yeah, I mean, he popped in some good ones. That I have memorized. It's a sweater. Yeah. Plethora. I remember tuning in to when all three of them hosted SNL. What? Right? Is that right? Yeah, for promotion of the movie. Wow. Way back. You guys might not have been born. 86, I believe it came out. And I was born in 83, so I had it on VHS. I wore it out. Directed by?

Oh, I know. Really? Who? Landis. Landis. The king. Lorne Michaels produced. Isn't he the one with the helicopter? Mm-hmm. Landis. He has a helicopter? No, the people died in the helicopter. He was directing Twilight Zone. Damn. Yeah. He also had a beef with Eddie Murphy. He did? Or is that Ivan Reitman? I don't know. I think it was Landis. Who did Coming to America? That was Eddie Murphy.

But who directed it? It's like who's on first. I know he wasn't in. We're going to find out who. I'm telling you, him and Murphy hated each other. Well, it looks like he directed Trading Places. That's where it started. And it's coming to America. Thank you. All right. But then they did Boomerang after that. Yeah, and how'd that go? I feel like it was a hit.

I think it was a hit. Okay. How'd that go? It was a hit. You're really taking people down a notch today, dude. Wow. Great. Trying to get the juices flowing. Yeah, I like it. All right. It's early. 5.6. That's what I'm talking about. That's the rating. Yeah, but people still liked it, though. I enjoyed it. Yeah. It's a sexy comedy. Wasn't that Halle Berry? I think it was Robin Gibbons. When Robin Dumber came out, it was panned, but then- Right.

Right. It was a massive hit. Comedies we forget. Wait a minute. Maybe this was great. It's brilliant. Dude, Where's My Car was a huge hit, right? But a bad movie. Uh...

Straight, well... I mean, I don't want to get you in trouble. I was not in it. Oh, yeah. That's going to really come down on me for... Did he leave the country? Yeah, he's got his own problems. I think he's out of here. He's in a Hamas tunnel right now. He's hiding out. Wait, he left the country? I think there was some Diddy stuff. Yeah.

Wow. Wow. This is taking so many. Sorry. Joel. He was on a weird streak where they wrote the judge to try to get that 70s show guy off. And then the Diddy stuff came out and he was like, I think I'm going to go to Sweden for a while. I'm out of here. Yeah. Maybe not Sweden. I made up a country. He went somewhere. Sweden's a real country. No, but I made up where he would have went. Yes. Yes. Maybe, I don't know, Narnia? He's in Narnia.

We've had a real show call in Ashton if you're watching if you're whatever time zone you're in It's a live straight. I like we were deep in that movie thing. We're like Ashton Kutcher No way to find out what he's doing. Give it a go This is called googling with I know it's not a bad point. Just sitting there doing nothing. You got the computer Google bitch. He's currently Beverly Hills in a farmhouse

And he's got a beachfront home in Carpinteria. Good for him. Wait, but it doesn't go to Ashton Kutcher news. I go to news. I don't know. I dude, why are we leaning on AI for all this shit? Yeah. They're going to take over. They're going to take our jobs. Boom. Okay. All right. Another. I didn't make that up. Another proven point. Correct. A move to Europe. And that was in October.

Yeah, that was when the Diddy shit was heating up. Oh, yeah. I feel like now is when it is the most... Yeah. I mean, there's a lot of stuff going on. This was the beginning. Now he's going to jail. For sure. Okay. He called it here. I still want... For some reason, I want to Google Rodney Dangerfield. I don't know why, but I'm all for it, dude. We love Rodney. I love him. Big fan. He's one of the greatest of all time. My friend...

He was in a band called the Presidents of the United States of America. Oh, great band. Named Lump. She's Lump. Peaches. She's Lump. And he was on Conan's 1230 show playing Lump. And Rodney Dangerfield was on the show. Wow. And he said they happened to be in the restroom at the same time. Just fucked and fucked. No. They were at the stalls. And my friend Chris just goes, I'm a big fan.

He's big. Like, he was, like, huge, like, all his life. And Robin Dangerfield just goes...

That was it. That's brutal. That was it. Well, maybe the urinal was a bad time. I don't know. You wait to wash the hand. Yes. You don't talk at the urinal. I think it's a silent. I think you go all in and be like, thank you. While I'm holding my penis, I wanted. Yeah, that's great. He wanted a zing from Rodney. Yeah, I think he just was like, are you going to talk to me while my cock's in my hand? Good God.

Yes, that would have been great. That's really good. He can do it. You heard the Eddie Murphy urinal story with Rodney. No, that's a great one. So he beat up John Landis. So he went to go pee and Rodney, it was just the beginning of Eddie Murphy. No one knew him yet. The first part is years ago, Eddie Murphy sees him in his club and he goes up and he's like,

stunting he's like oh I'm gonna go kill in front of Rodney and he crushes and he's expecting Rodney to be like oh my god you're great and he gets off and he goes what the fuck you're filthy like what's wrong with you you're so filthy you're never gonna make it like that you're too dirty and then years go by and Eddie Murphy's selling out some insane venue in Vegas and they're urinal to urinal and Rodney just turns to me and goes hey

Who knew? Pretty good. Pretty good. It's great, man. Great. Remember what he told Norm? He's like, hey, Norm, you know, stand-up's the best. Movies, TV, it's all shit. You got to stick with stand-up. And he saw Norm 10 years, or saw Rodney 10 years later. He's like, stand-up's shit. It's all shit. What? He's a complicated man. Yeah, he's, yeah. That Norm MacDonald.

The king. The king. You meet him? You work with him? I never worked with him. There was a couple of tweets. Yeah. There was a... At one point, William Shatner was tweeting at us going, you guys aren't funny. What? You guys together? Us together. Why? I don't know. Where's Shatner? Why's he talking shit? I retweeted it. It was like big fan. Yeah. Yeah.

I didn't understand. Yeah, that was. But I never met Norm. I never got to meet him. How the fuck did Shatner outlive Norm? Yeah. By like a lot. Shatner was on Cold Bear last night. Wow. He's been to the moon four times. Yeah. So Shatner just doesn't like you. Well, and then. Did you trash him on the soup or something? I don't know. I was like, I was. Burp this kombucha. Hippie burp. It's like stalker.

I was confused because there's been people that were offended and I was like, okay, yeah, all right. We showed that clip of you. And, but I couldn't fit. We had no, I don't know if I had made fun of his friend or something like that or, but unexplainable. And then,

Three years ago, I hosted the, it's like the Sci-Fi Awards. It's called the Saturn Awards in LA. Quit bragging. Well, I can't help but. And he was there. And I was like, here we go. Yeah. And this is probably where he's going. And then he walked up and he was like, hey, Joel, how are you? And I was like, hi.

Can't keep track of anything. The Saturn Awards, pound for pound, one of the best award shows. I thought you were going to say the fattest attendees. Pound for pound, the fattest people. It is pound for pound. It's muscle mass, but if you look at the list of people that are there each year, it is insane. Really? Keanu Reeves, Nicolas Cage. Are you a big sci-fi guy?

Yeah. I mean, I like a lot of stuff, but I love sci-fi, but everybody stays. Like Kevin Feige sits in the front row for four hours. Wow. Jesus. Yeah, it's a good time. So you do a monologue on what?

I do like a dance and then I play a couple of instruments. Yeah, I just do a monologue and then, yeah, there's James Cameron. Wow, Spielberg. I mean, this is a who's who of Nerdville. And it's in a airport ballroom. What? Literally across the street from the Burbank airport. Oh, shit. Bob Hope. Yeah, it was good times. Wow, that's fun. Yeah. How's the paycheck? It's not a lot. It's like a quarter million.

But I always, you know, I just make sure it's in cash. That's cool. Yeah, there's all these wacky awards. There's Webby's and the Porn Awards. There's a million award shows. It's always a... I remember Bill Hicks hosted the Adult Film Awards. Is that right? Yeah. Wow. There's that clip where he's like, I don't know how else to say this, but thanks for coming. Yay!

Greg Fitzsimmons said the great joke. He goes, what was it? Oh, I'm going to fuck it up. I saw Ron Jeremy at the gas station. We said hi to each other. And then when he was done, he took the nozzle out and sprayed it all over the car. That's great. Good joke. Remember when Ron Jeremy was in the crowd for that show we did at the Cellar? Yes. Just passed out. Sleeping. Mark's just mid-set and he looks over and goes, is that Ron Jeremy asleep? And the crowd just fucking lost it. Then he woke up. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, there he is. Oh, isn't he in prison for rape now? Yeah, yeah. Damn. He is. The Hedgehog. Why don't you AI search what Ron Jeremy's up to? 1990. He's got a house in Calabasas. Why does it look like Bill Hicks was playing? That looked like he was in a rock show in 1962. He's doing Elvis. Yeah, what'd they have? Look at the camera work back then.

Chris Rock famously got asked to do the video, what do you call it, adult video awards, and he said no. And then later he got Madagascar, and his agent said, if you had done the award show for the porno, they would have given you this. Better paycheck. Better paycheck. They would have given you Madagascar?

He's saying they wouldn't have if he had done the porn awards. Yeah, Fitzsimmons ain't voicing a car. No, those days are over. Holy shit, that's our Googler.

Look at that. Same guy. Porn stars do not age well. He wasn't looking good in his heyday. I know, but... At least he's wearing the mask properly. Oh, my God. Look at him. Jesus. Are we even sure that's him on the left? That looks like a Dune character. My God. I thought it looked like a... Incompetent. It looked like Predator after being... Well, you got the Predator part right. Oh! Hey! Wow.

Thank you. That was crazy. How was our show in 2009? I mean, it was the highlight of my life, but it was great. You sold it out. It was a treat for a young open biker. I got to do a full house at Caroline's and meet you, and it was great. You were nice enough to talk with me. There's some headliners out there who are like, get out of the green room, you peasant. Fuck you. Kill yourself. I'm not going to ask for names, but who does that? Ah!

Rodney. No, um, people do it. I don't want to speak out of school, but yeah. Yeah. But you guys did pee your own urinal and Mark said he's a fan and you just stared at him. But it was like a five minute stare. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And we fell in love. But did you start in standup or did you start in acting? No. Uh, I did a lot of acting and improv in Seattle. Oh, Seattle. Uh,

And I really didn't start doing stand-up until after the soup started. I mean, I was doing stage stuff, but until I had this agent that was like, if you get your friends together and go do shows around the country, host shows, you'll make money. Oh, yeah. And I was like, okay. Why not? And that's where I, yeah, I was lucky because, well, it was a two-edged sword because it was a crowd that knew me. And then, you know, when the soup stopped, I realized quickly,

Or when I would go into crowds that didn't know the show, I was like, oh, none of these jokes work. Right. They got to know you. And so then I bombed a lot. It was great. And then not gotten it all back. No. It was probably good for your development that you bombed a lot, you know? Yeah. It was.

It was great. I loved it. It helped my ego. Yeah, but it did teach me. You know, those things go. They're real learning experiences. Sure. Did you enjoy it at all, or was it like, ah, I've got to do this bullshit now, get the paycheck? No, I love attention. Okay. I like it, and I like being on stage. So I'm a full extrovert. Wow. I get energy from people looking at me.

Well, you pulled it out. I mean, it was a good show. I pulled it out. Oh, no, that was, yeah, that was a good time. So I knew that, yeah. You had a real hour together. It was like, you know, it had a beginning, a middle, an end. It was a through line. It was good. It was good times. Good times. And now, wow, that club is gone. What happened?

Ron Jeremy went in there. No, it was just too big. The rents went up. It's in the middle of Times Square. It just didn't work. It's also a weird time. I feel like back in the day, a lot of big comics would play rooms like that, and then those big comics were like, I'll just do a fucking theater. Right. That's a good point. Yeah. I mean, I love that club coming up. We'd spend a lot of hours there, a lot of meals. A lot of shows. You guys going out to the cellar? Yeah. Yeah.

Pretty much. Two tonight there. Yeah, I'll see you there. All right. You ever want to pop in? I'll be flying on an airplane to Sweden to join you. You were at the ditty party. I'm going to have that freak off. Yeah. How long was the soup on? 12 years. Wow. Are you serious? Yeah. That's all. Started in 2004. Did you ever get shit? Because, I mean, you're zinging Hollywood.

Yeah, well, they would... It was going way back, but the... Our goal was let the clips...

Speak for themselves and not because you could say everybody is dumb and everybody's crazy but if you if you let the clip be the thing be the thing to hang and so if they got mad at us and be like well this was what you did on camera but people tried and Stop us a couple folks. Yeah, Tyra Banks didn't like it when oh one of her and she's a her it's

King World, which at that point was a huge distribution company, threatened to. But at that point, the president of E! was really cool. And he was like, you have to go on. You have to put, you know, yeah. And I was like, how did she try to stop a joke? Oh, by King World saying we are not going to allow E! to use any footage from any King World show. Oh, got it.

And we just kind of laid off for a little bit and then went back to it. Hell yeah. That's great. But like the Kardashians, when they first started, we were making fun of them. And then Kris Jenner would call. And then the president would call and be like, can you lay off for a week? And I'd be like, yeah. And then I'd lay off for a week and then.

and then make fun of them again. Do you ever run into any of these? And it never worked out for them. Do I run into the Kardashians? No, I mean any of these people who you made fun of. We Might Be Drunk is brought to you by Kelshi. How are the odds for your team? How much payout would you get if you bet? Did you bet?

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And the first 500 traders that trade 100 contracts will get a free $10 credit. That's K-A-L-S-H-I dot com slash drunks. Kalshi! You can trade on that. Yeah. Through over the years, like...

I see. Yeah. Like RuPaul. We used to make fun of that show all the time. Sure. But that show was extremely different. Yes. But he would come on the show. So we often would... So we were trying to like... We're celebrating how...

insane television is and not just this sucks, this sucks. We never, it wasn't, we weren't ever trying to go, this is stupid or sucks. Yeah. Just kind of going, here's something nuts. Yes. And you highlight it. Yeah. So yeah, no, I, no one's taking a swing at me. All right. But,

But most reality stars way back when, they were like, thank you for that clip. Oh, wow. I appreciate it. I mean, yeah, they're on reality TV. They want attention. Right. That's all good news. It's a brilliant show because this is when TV got real wacky, like reality shows and all this stuff. So you got to just shine a light on it. And it was much less polished. It's when they figured out, oh, we can make this tiny little show and it's going to get as huge ratings as any. And cheap. Yeah.

So like something like Flavor Flav shows. Oh, Goldmine. Those don't really, they're not, they don't have the same, I know like Love Island now is basically people just fucking, but yeah, but that flavor, like the Whitney Houston show being Bobby Brown. Oh yeah. That would never ever happen today because what was that show? I don't even remember that. It was just Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston being cameras following them and they were

Clearly high the whole time. Damn. Oh, yeah. And then what was the other one? What's the tits? Anna Cole Smith. Yeah. Which is her being high. Then you had the Osbournes, which is Ozzy being fucking checked in. Yeah. Osbournes was the original. Yeah. Yeah.

It was a while. And then the card. I like to get the Kardashians put out a sex tape. But they're like, hey, easy with the jokes. You put out a sex tape. You're blowing a guy. And you're worried about my my yuck them ups here. Yuck. Yes. Hey, my yuck them ups. Yeah. And they obviously. Yeah. But the fucking on tape helped them. That's true. You know, it's true. But I'm sure I got beat on the soup. Doesn't hurt you. Paris Hilton. Yeah, that was. Yeah. But that was leaked by her boyfriend. Tommy Lee. Not. Not.

Wait, Paris Hilton? Well, he had a sex tape, I'm saying. Oh, yes. You're just naming names? Yeah, I'm just doing sex tapes now. Elia Kazan over here. So many takes. So many names. Yeah, but that's the... That was going way back. That's the ideal show. As a comic, I mean, that was pre-Tosh.0. I mean, it's really a perfect show for a comedian. And Ridiculousness is still on. Oh, yeah. Still going. That's the kid version.

yeah have they tried to reboot the soup again without you or no we uh they did uh but it was during covid hit and uh uh it's really funny comic named jade and uh she it's had a pretta yeah yeah right and uh really nice and but uh yeah i mean it

We were on the air for a year before anybody watched the show. Wow. E was very kind and let us kind of marinate and...

Get better and so we didn't so we were it was basically a year before anybody started watching the show and we were so lucky because of that and and then we tried it on Netflix and After two seasons they canceled that but uh that yeah, but now you know YouTube clips in any clip exactly and

or Instagram instantly. And so it's all the jokes have been made unless you're doing it instantly or that night. Yeah. Was it a daily? It was every night, right? It was weekly. Weekly. So we would save them up and then Friday night

And then, pray there wasn't a mass shooting in the news. Right, right. Which happened a lot. Yeah. It's such a funny reaction. Like, 14 kids get killed. You're like, fuck, now I can't make a Paris Hilton. You're like, well. Yeah. Yeah, so yeah, yeah. It's good times. But I remember watching it.

way back in the day and being shocked that it was good because it was so no frills in the setup. - Yes. - Oh, this is like rinky dink, but then you're like, oh, but that's part of the charm. - Yes, and the jokes were good. - Yeah. - That was one of the reasons why we were on for a year without anybody doing anything because it was so cheap.

Yeah, it was a camera and us and that was yeah, wasn't it can year before you can ear and then John Henson hands ears with the with the gray streak house sparks and then Tyler Wow guest hosts in there, but Aisha did it for a few years and then stopped in 2002 and then you jumped in and then in 2004 they wanted to Reboot it, but they didn't want to call it the soup. I

They were like, we don't want it to be talk soup. And they call it the What The Awards. So the show was called the What The Awards, which is a terrible name. Terrible. They need a name that works. I know. Like a brand. Well, and the new president came in and went like, this terrible name. Change it to talk soup or soup. I think he named it. Damn. What a run.

Where the hell? Those were the days, guys. It's going way back. Well, you got to admit, that was a lot easier light lifting than a sitcom. Well, yeah, there's a lot less camera moves. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you had a five o'clock shadow, a loose shy. It's just me stumbling through teleprompter. Right. Clips and getting those, getting that, the gathering of the clips and the producers, how hard they worked and the joke writing and-

And the number of people that helped put it together, that was a big effort. Of course. They were great. And I was so lucky. And now you're doing the 1% Club. Thank you. The game show, which that's a fun gig. That's just the promo. That's the promo one. Can we play it? Sure. Yeah. All right.

Hey, look at that. That's me. What a hunk. See what I did there? That was percentage, yo. Yeah, alright. This is my biggest win, baby!

Here's how you play the game. You are asked a question, and if you get it right, you get to answer another question. 50% of the people we polled answered that correctly. If you got that wrong, welcome to the Dumb House. There's a house for dumb people. So, yeah, Jim Jeffries hosts this version in Australia. Yeah. Yeah, Jim's our buddy. Yeah, it's a huge hit in Australia. Oh, yeah. And England. It was Lee Mack, I believe, did the original. Yeah.

Yeah. We know our fucking 1% club. Oh, yeah. It's BBC. I think it's their property. I thought it was a show about Epstein's Island. Just going off the name. Oh, that's, yeah. That's where. That's Love Island. It's on Fox. Okay, cool. And then it's on Hulu the next day. Hell yeah. Oh, nice. I know that you guys are going to cancel your sets to watch it. Yes. I got it on Teemu. What's it called? Tevo? Teemu? Tevo. Teemu.

I'm going to watch it on Mubi. I'm going to watch it on Tubi or Paramount Plus, whatever the gutter is. Is Tivo still a company? I don't know. We should look this up. They had a good run. They had a good run. They did. They changed everything. They changed everything. And then people went, wait, we don't need a separate company. We'll just put them on all the cable boxes. I do miss it. Oh, yeah. That was big. Dude, um...

We watched Norman and I at a festival years ago in our hotel room in Vancouver watched Ted together. Yes. You're fucking great in that movie. Oh, my God, Ted. Thank you. You're so funny in that. That Seth MacFarlane let me. He let you cook. Yeah, he let me make a lot of jokes. He's a brilliant guy. You're a great villain. He is a brilliant guy. Thank you. He's one of the funnier people that's ever lived.

Yeah. And he was shooting that because they were the bear technology and all that. And hearing him, he was just like, I don't know if this is going to work. Wow. And then it really worked.

The output on that guy. It's like Family Guy, then American Dad, then Ted. Dude, Ted the TV show is great. Ted the TV show is great. It is? It's great. I watched it all. It was great. I loved it. He had that cowboy movie. He does those musical episodes with like song and dance. It's incredible. In L.A., he books this dinner restaurant where he sings all night. Wow. He's got an album. He's got numerous albums out. Yeah. He's...

He's a... How does that work with the bears? You just hear his... Is his voice just doing it, and there's... Yeah. So he's in the room with you. He's in the room and directing. Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty impressive. It really is. And he's really kind. He's super cool. Oh, yeah? And a billionaire. Yeah. Yeah. I heard his parties are unreal. They're great. You been to a few? Free golf? Yeah. Yeah.

Pretty great. Wow. Yeah, I'd love to go to one of those parties. Oh, well. Not the freak off. Oh, all right. I mean, Seth MacFarlane. It's too late, dude. We already interpreted it. All right. Bring on the baby oil. I'll bring it. He just gave up immediately. Well, fine. That's it. B-Y-O-B-O. What was the process for auditioning for a movie like that? Well...

They gave me a phone call. They just called you and said you're in? And said, would you like to do this movie? Whoa. That's pretty cool. That's great. Can you guys do the whoa again? Whoa. We're big Joey Lawrence fans. Well, I had already, that was during Community. So they knew you could be kind of a fun dick. Yeah. I play a lot. And then, you know, the soup, I was a fun dick. Yeah. And thank God for Seth MacFarlane.

And Wahlberg was really, I mean, they were all great. It was a really fun set. And Mark Wahlberg, we made fun of him right to his face. I love it. And I'd be like, hey, squirt, let's go. And I was like, I'm going to be killed. He's a shorter guy. You're a tall man. Yeah. He's got to be, what, 5'8"? Yeah, but his biceps, they're big. I think I have big biceps. And then I'm like, fucking A. Oh, he's a beefcake. He wakes up at, it doesn't look fun. No. No.

I want to wake up at 1230 in the morning. Yes. Work out for six hours, play two rounds of golf. And he's like 60.

And then, like, you see the thing. He's like, I got to pray for 20 minutes. I'm like, I need those 20 minutes. I don't know. Like, yeah, the sauna, the pump. 4.30 a.m. wake up is, like, not... Why not sleep till 10 and do it until 7 at night? Yep. Well, they go to bed at 5, these people. That's the only way you can wake up at 4 in the morning. Like a morning radio show. He is. Look at that. That's insane. Shredded. That's insane. Well, pull up his Calvin Klein. And you think about, like, movies...

He's been able to do the thing where he can do an action movie, but then do the fighter or the Wes Anderson movie and Oscar winning. That in Boogie Nights. Incredible. That was an Oscar winning performance. Unbelievable. That movie is like, it's funny for how depressing it is. It's so rewatchable. And funny too. It's so fun too. Yeah, it's a blast. That first half, that rise. Yes. And the firework scene with the, what?

was it Alfred Molina? Oh, the tension is unbelievable. So good. So good. But also just the rise where he's like, you know, he's winning all the awards. Yeah. The soundtrack where he's like, we all got to do better. Yeah. Fucking crazy. Heather Graham. Heather Graham. Roller girl. She was great. Fucking John C. Reilly. Philip Seymour Hoffman. I think we have a new PTA coming out. Yeah. Movie. I don't know. Leo, dude. Oh. Wes Anderson.

Now is that the dream to be in some high echelon films? Or you like just riding the game show train? We were just talking about my films.

Oh, Ted. I'm talking about. I'm not talking Ted. You said that Ted is not an upper echelon film? That's filth. That's a lowbrow comedy. That's TV. I'm talking about Paul Thomas, Martin Scorsese, Tarantino. Yeah, well, you want to play like Nolan. Yeah, I've been in all their movies. What? Pull them up. I haven't been. Who's like someone you would kill to work with? Kill? Yeah. Murder. David Lean.

He did Lawrence of Arabia. That's a great film. I'm up. I'm game for anything. The guy's doing the 1% club. Yeah. I mean, yeah. If Spielberg's calling, you're picking up.

He hasn't called yet. He'll call. He'll call. He listens. He likes this pod. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. What's his favorite episode? He liked the one. Simon Rex. Where he talked about Schindler's List. Hey, Simon Rex. Yeah. He did that Red Rocket. That was great. He crushed it, dude. I mean, it was. That should have gotten. He should have gotten an Oscar. He should have gotten an Oscar. Just like Adam Sandler for Uncut Gems. Oh, my God. No respect for comedians. That thing.

What's happening? Is that our time? That's Spielberg's calling. Uh-huh. Hold on. That's why that's here. That's the Spielberg phone. Yes, I'll hold for Mr. Spielberg. Yeah. Whoa, is that Groundlings training? That's pretty good. Well, it's not really mine. Oh, okay, okay. 1941 season. You guys aren't ready, but your kids are going to love it. You got any recs? You got any movie recs?

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with code DRUNK to get 20% off. And here comes the fine print. Lucy products are for adults of legal age, and every order is age verified. Warning, this product contains nicotine, nicotine is an addictive chemical. Thank you! Yeah? The new Adam Sandler movie, Spaceman. Oh, really? It is totally different, and I can't recommend it enough. Wow, I'm in. Really great, and he needs to

Well, he should be nominated for that, too. He's the best. He is. He really is. That movie. And it's, you know, like in The Martian.

Where it's such a good movie. And when you realize what's happening, it's like it's just Matt Damon alone in every scene. Like looking at computers, doing little things. And you're like, I'm engaged. I want to I'm watching every second. And this movie is it's well, it's also in space. But there's just these little things. And it's really fun. I'm in. Great. I recommend it. I love it. Recommended.

I also think that he he there's he's there's nobody like him. I mean, I was like Mark Wahlberg is something they can. Yeah. And so these two different worlds and and do it as well as anybody that's ever lived. Thank you.

i'm trying to get another job yeah well his drama i mean punch drunk love uncut yeah i mean he's great yeah he can do it all english watch bang it's from a ways ago but it's called slow west with michael fassbender oh write that one down oh yeah yeah i love it uh yeah i love a western uh and you see rotten tomatoes they are they have come back yeah they've been back they're like they've been back but this was during the non-com this is how many years ago

2015. So, 10 years. They've been back, but I feel like they went away for a long time. Big time. They did, because Hollywood was like, well, the Western is dead because sci-fi has replaced the Western. And that was bull. And then come COVID, and the most...

The three most popular things, if you had said in 2015, in five years there would be a worldwide pandemic and the biggest star on the planet would be Kevin Costner starring in a Western soap opera show. Oh, yeah. That's so true. Me and a Republican do. I was like, they're trying to take this white guy's land. This is bullshit. Yeah. But then you'd be like, oh, and what else is popular? It's this Korean language murder game show.

Right. If you were told an executive this, they'd be like, I don't think so. What else?

oh it's this documentary about a guy that has a private tiger zoo and right uh on methamphetamine and uh a murderer and uh it was like yeah i don't think that's any that's never going to be and all those things were true it's all unpredictable yeah you're right but that's what america like we go we've seen a million of this oh what's this korean game show thing let's try that you brought up yellowstone it's like you know uh

hell or high water. I was like, oh, this is like... It's one of the greatest... Amazing. I think it's one of the best movies of the last 25 years. Amazing. Ben Foster is incredible. So good. And when they're saying goodbye to his mom, like in the... I was like, oh, good Lord. That's like...

It's like a bank robbery, like kind of heist Western movie. It's like it does everything perfectly. It is Brian De Palma level. Like during the action stuff, it is like. Yes. How is this going to go down? Dude, Scarface was on TV the other day. And I just and I just I was just like, I haven't seen this movie since I was a kid. And I was just like, this is like trashy fun. It's so ridiculous. I love it. The Presence. I like that movie.

Pull that up. I don't know it. These are great recs. It's the Steven Soderbergh horror film that came out last year. Oh, geez. I'm embarrassed. It's great. Soderbergh's great. Yeah, he's good. Yes. Did you like my Steven Soderbergh movie? What was that?

The Informant? Yes! I got it! You know who else is in that? Tom Papa. Yeah, Matt Damon. Yeah, that was good. That was a good movie. Good movie. Good movie. There's another one where Matt Damon should have gotten a nomination. He got big and fat for that shit. Give a guy an Oscar for getting fat. Oh, yeah. And then he did Invictus right after that. Wow. He did a rugby movie right after that.

And he did that, was it Courage Under Fire? What was that one where he lost 8 million pounds? That was what put him on the map with Meg Ryan and Denzel Washington. Yes. Not Courage Under Fire. It is. Is it? Not the greatest...

title of all time but you're really that's a bad that's a bad title yeah that put him on him and uh the machinist everybody had to get skinny once yeah uh christian bale did the machinist where he lost eight million i got a good movie right for you please just watch this movie over the weekend i was just flipping through i couldn't find something to watch uh blue rune have you seen this oh it's amazing it's insane it's so good it's like a low budget awesome revenge movie it's it's so good great

That actor in it is what's now he's so pull it up. Is this it the blue room is it? Rue you I n oh, oh ruin. He's also That's terrible Oh get his name Sorry, what the hell is this very nice man, too?

Macon Blair. Whoa. He's awesome. He's in... It's awesome. He's also a great director. And then have you seen Green Room? No, but I had that locked up for next. It was the same director. Green Room's one of the greatest... That actor who died.

Yes. Really good actor. Jeremy Saldner. He just came out with another movie this year that's getting all this recognition. Green Room is one of the greatest. Patrick Stewart is a white supremacist. It's about a punk band that gets booked into a white supremacist bar. I'm in. And then they're stuck in the Green Room. We played that gig. Don't play that gig.

fuck get me out of here yeah it's basically one presenters they spend part of time going like what the fuck gig is this whoa they just said that they would holy shit what a premise all right i'm not really responding to my observational humor that'll like my oh rebel rich i that's solner's new movie okay great yeah no i'm pumped to die that kid that that actor yeah

Blue Rune, dude. I'm going to watch it. Sick. You've got to finish another round, too. I know. I've got to finish another round. Another round is one of my favorite movies. I know. Have you seen Riders of Justice? Which one's that? Pull it up.

Pull up Riders of Justice. Movie geek out, Sesh. I love it. I love Googling with you guys. It's fun Google. All right. So it's a terrible name. It's a Swedish movie. Oh, hell yeah. It's a bad name. Same thing with Matt Smith. Ashton Kutcher's in it. Don't play it. Don't. I don't want to know anything. But it's awesome. Can you make a list of these guys? But that movie is...

So great. Can we get the premise? Loose plot. Okay.

Okay, it's about this. They have this rehearsal space and they were like, we should make a musical. Okay, no, it's not. I don't know. We're open-minded folks. I'll say this. I'll just say it's a revenge movie. All right, all right, all right. So another round guy who also made a movie with Mads Mikkelsen, they made a movie called The Hunt. Wow. That's a good one. And that movie, it's not, well, also The Hunt with Betty Galvin is great.

The 100s is like cancel culture before cancel culture. But it is really. It's good. The stakes are so high in the Mads Mikkelsen. Yeah. That movie. It is. He's awesome. You start watching that movie and you're like, okay, what's. And then there's the moment you're like,

oh my really hard to there are things they're doing in this movie i'm like you could never make this in america really as we they they no we don't think it would never be able to be well they just remade that movie speak no evil oh america and they look that's like the darkest fucking movie ever but they was remade it with james mcgoy and i liked the remake but it was a different ending toned down completely changed the ending got it had to did you like to uh talk to me

I've heard great things. Oh, and I thought it was called Talk to the Hand. Well, that's like... You guys see Talk to the Hand? It's hilarious. I saw this because Dana Gould just hits me with movie recs all the time, and I just trust his taste. He knows I'm not a big horror guy, but he's like, still watch this. It's scary. It was pretty fucking good. I'm just not a huge horror guy, but it was... Do you get scared for real? I just...

I just don't like being like, I don't like that feeling. But if it wasn't jump scare and it was just. Thrills I can do. Like thriller I like. I love a thriller. But yeah, horrors. I know like it's a blind spot for me with movies. I don't like the classic. I don't love it either. Yeah.

No character development. It's all about the fear more than the plot, I think. I like the great... There's some great horrors. That's not true. Well, there's great ones. Don't get me wrong, but... You can have character development and be terrified. I love Carrie. I love... I love Carrie. I love Psycho. Yeah. I love Psycho. I love Shining. I love the classics, you know? I don't... A lot of character development. I don't like...

like saw i hate saw i hate that okay okay torture porn i'm like all right hostile not for me no i mean either yeah they would like to work with me sure sure you would be a good murderer i could see you pulling it off murderers in what movie were you murderer assassination nation yeah pull it up uh it didn't do all the box office but um

It's a good title. Yeah, it is. But I had a great time. Ah, you see, pre-white guilt. Now, let me... This was during the white guilt. Oh, okay. Well, I got a movie rec. I'm going to change gears here. Hey, 74. Nothing to sneeze at. Yeah. Okay. Female lead. I don't care for that. Wow. All right. Here we go. I see. Just joking. But...

Pee-wee Herman doc. Oh, my God. I was a tearjerker. He's great. Paul Rubens. I was obsessed with Pee-wee as a kid. And the movie tells you all you want to know, all the behind-the-scenes stuff. What's it on? HBO. Incredible. It's a two-parter. Couldn't put it down. Can I road you right now? Please. I was friends with him.

Get the fuck out of here. Paul Rubens was with you. I heard he was the coolest dude. The coolest. He really got fucked over that. He got fucked. He did. He talks about it. That's all in there. He's so... Oh, yeah. We did Wheel of Fortune together. Whoa. Oh, there we are. That's... Oh, shit. That was... Oh, that was a good time. Back kibble.

Yeah, that was 10 years ago. Wow. He was so fucking funny, man. So funny, so talented. He's just funny in the face-to-face interview. He's funny and charming and really interesting guy. Takes over the whole thing. I remember him in Blow. Yes. Derek for real, dude. The look.

What? Derek fucking for real. That was his name, yeah. And he did that thing, which was like, you could see the stress that as more cocaine was coming in, like the stress. Oh, yeah.

Blow's kind of underrated. I love Blow. Yes, I think it's because of the ending, because the ending is so real. Like, well, he went to jail and never came out. That's a true story. Like a lot of these high-level cocaine dealers, they just never, they just go to jail. Their life is ruined. And then people are like, well, the ending. It's true. It's true. You wanted a feel-good drug smuggling movie? You're like, guys, we did it. We did it.

No, it's Ray Liotta. Great cast, too. Oh, yeah. Penelope Cruz. Do you have any fond memories about Paul you'd like to share? Something you did together? Paul Rubens? What did I say? Yeah. Paulie? Oh, Paul Rubens, yeah. Paulie Shore. I have fond memories of him. The whiz. Fond memories. We would text and chat, and one time we were going to this party, and he was like,

Can I call you? I want to, can we talk about what we're going to wear? I'm like, okay. Yeah. And then I'll be like, hon, I'm just going to talk to Paul Rubens here. Wow. Someone just pee out asparagus. It says I got a whiff myself. What is it?

They're cooking. They're steaming vegetables for hours. It came through the vent. Wow, that is pungent. It doesn't smell bad. We're going to die. I'd eat it. You would? Yeah. I'd eat most things. You want to run up there and go? Sure. I would love to. I'm an easy eater. I'll eat anything. Oh, yeah. Almost anything. You call it. You name it. I'll eat it. I don't eat it.

Wait, I had to think about Paul Reubens. Oh, he got screwed twice. He did the jerk off in the theater. That was the big news. And then he cleared himself of that. Finally, it took 10 years to get over it. Therapy was depressed. Then they said he had child porn and that one didn't get as much buzz, but he beat it in court.

To the magazine. But no, he beat it in court, but he got the child porn charge. And it was because they found one, he had all this gay porn. He was a homosexual man. But they found all this gay porn, and one, the guy looked kind of young, but he was 18 or something. So it was fine.

Damn. But yeah, poor guy had a rough, the back half was rough. Also like, aren't, I mean, I've never been to one of those movie theaters, but isn't that what people do in those theaters? Don't they just jerk off in there? Yeah, I guess. But when you got a guy named Pee Wee and he's a celebrity, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if those theaters exist anymore.

Yeah, it's funny. I watch all those old New York movies. Fred Willard. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Holy shit. Fred Willard. Damn. You want to go, hey, man, get a laptop.

Also dead. It's also the people you least suspect. Yeah. I think you say Fred Willard. I think you said like Andy Dick or something. Well, if he did it, it wouldn't even make the news. Yeah. You'd be like, yeah, it's a Tuesday. Yeah. But yeah, Fred Willard's the man. He was great. Very nice man. Dude. Do you know him too? I did. Damn. Yeah. What a run. He was on Community. Whoa. Yeah.

You had great guest stars on. You did. Yeah. You had John Oliver on there. He was a character, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And he's. Yeah. Jack Black came on. That's right. And Donald Glover. Genius. Genius. I mean, the music, the acting, the stand up. Yeah. He's got it all. The writing. He's the candy store of talent. He is. Yeah. He's. You guys are still buddies? Yeah.

Yeah, I'm flying home on his jet right now. Whoa! Are you serious? No. Tell me. He's just the nicest man. Yeah. And so talented. And he's the funniest guy you've ever...

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, his stand-up was great. Great stand-up. And doesn't have to... Doesn't do it now. I know. He doesn't have to. Like, I think I'll fill up SoFi for just the music. Yeah. Jeez. He started... We started together, and he was...

blowing up. He was like writing 30 rock episodes while we were at open mics and all this shit. And he was so, couldn't have been nicer. He was always nice to me. I was way beneath him and he was always sweet and generous. He had a show in Queens. He'd put us all on it. He was great. Yeah. The man is, I love him. Yeah.

Yeah, good egg. I would love to be with him. All right. Not great shirtless, I'll say. Really? When he did This Is America or whatever that song that fucking went crazy viral. All right, take it all back. Wow. Pull that video up, though. He didn't look great. There it is in the bottom left. We expect everyone to look like Ja Rule. I guess so. That's not impressive to me.

Yeah, you got to get in the weight room a little bit. I'm just saying, if you're doing a shirtless music video that's going to go bananas viral, you got to maybe want a little definition. All right. Well, I mean, I'm just nitpicking. We're talking about one of the. He looks good there. Yeah, see, he's got it in him. He can do it. Yeah, he looks pretty good. Even, yeah, yeah. I mean, you're clearly on Ozempic. Thank you.

Look, I mean, look at that. It's HGH. That's what we call doughy. I got the full Joe Rogan. A little alpha brain. Now, can I ask a weird question that you're not going to like or should we just wrap it up? We can always edit. Go weird. So I'm 41. Uh-huh. And I am going to do the hair. You just touched me when you said. Sorry. It's going to be a weird question. You touched my shoulder.

He touched my leg. No, tell me the weird question. All right. So I'm going to do the hair transplant, I think. Why? That's not weird. Well, we have the internet. We can see Kimmel. We can see Seth MacFarlane. Everybody. And your hair looks amazing. Yeah, I'm fully bald. This is, yeah. Okay. I didn't want to broach it. Four transplants. Four? Yeah. I did it way back when, when it was a strip, which was...

uh painful yeah don't do the strip okay uh plucking the back of the hair strip you're talking yeah well now they pluck it from the whole back section and it's a miracle really yeah it's great can i get can i get your guy parsa mohibi oh shout out e-a-r-s-i m-o-h it should come up where is your guy in la yeah

What about everyone going to Turkey? A lot of people go to Turkey. I'm not doing Turkey. I can get you a name of a guy in Turkey, but just make sure. Because if somebody's like, I'll do it for $3,000, then you don't. You would do that. I know. I would do it. I would get my ball hair pulled. You get what you pay for. So, I mean, you make a lot more money.

money that I make a lot more money than you. So like it's not even close. So what do we what do we can I get a ballpark? A thousand dollars. Oh, I'd have gone up. All right. All right. For the rest of your hair, for the rest of your life. I think that's worth it. It is. And it's your hair. Why do you have to do it four times, though? Well, because if you will keep going, you're still not going to you're still going bald.

So that hair is still falling out. But the hair that you put there is growing. Yeah. But you'll still thin because the hair that was going to fall out is going to fall out. Right. That's why you have to... Well, how's the recovery? I'm a busy man. I got pods to do. I got big stars to... It's suck up. You're going to have a bouncy fucking towel on your head. I'm going to go to Turban. Yeah, they send you home with Tylenol. Okay. And...

Yeah, if you shave your head, it goes faster. Ugh. I don't want to do that. You'll be fine. Can we talk about this real quick? Huh? Can we talk about this real quick? This is the female version. This is Kris Kardashian. That's her face today. Okay. There's a new facelift. That's her. That's not her daughter. Yeah, she looks good. We're talking about hair here. How did we get to this? It's a female version. Oh, okay. If you look at his hairline. Like, oh boy.

He's been here a while. Trying to get it on hair. That's going to be more than 10K. That's... Yeah, look at that. That's Shane. But also... He looks great. I like an older broad, though. I think the left, I would still go down on. Yeah, I'm with you, dude. We don't need to fight God this hard. Yeah. It's weeks. It's weeks. That's going to be the name of my... Fight God this hard.

That's not a bad name, Dr. Joel McHale. Fighting God. Do you think he needs it? I mean, let's see. Pull your, yeah. Well, I mean, I got the power alleys. No joke. Yeah, and you're thinning on top. So, yeah. There you go. So, I'm going to do it.

You're a 54-year-old man. You should do it. Yeah. But I'm worried about the recovery. No, I can't recommend it enough. Do you do the ball cap for a while? Is that the move? No. Baseball hats. That's what I'm saying. Okay. I thought you said bald cap. No. Why would I get that? That's what I'm trying. Weird move to be like. Ball cap.

Yeah. Maybe I'll go yarmulke. Go to the Halloween store. Grab yourself a Professor X. Go get a consultation. I will. The wait is like a year and a half. I know. I know. Well, why can't we cure this with a pill? We got a boner pill. We can't get a hair pill? Go to Turkey. Do a gig. They're still working on that.

Then you'll get beheaded. You'll lose your whole head. They really are still working on trying to unlock the DNA, but they thought that was going to be solved 15 years later. They really did. And I did too. I was like, here we go. If you watch old movies and they're like, we're flying cars in no time. It's like the movies from like 84. Right, right. Yeah, who would have thought that Demolition Man would be the...

Who would have thought that'd be wrong? Yeah. Although it got some shit right. They have President Schwarzenegger and they're like, he was governor. He was governor. Yeah, idiocracy got everything right. That's true. All right. Demolition Man's pretty fun too. No, there's a bunch of things in it they got right. Three seashells. If you type in what did Demolition Man predict about the future? But go to the news, dude. I'm kidding. The news about... Demolition Man. Uh...

Self-driving cars, voice actors. Oh, that's good. Video conferencing. Rise of Taco Bell. Taco Bell Cantina. Taking over the world. Yeah. They're getting drunk at Taco Bell, dude. That's true. They got margaritas. Any pet peeves, guys?

It's part of the show. It is? The fans will love you. I mean, I had one. It was quite a transition. Anyway, demolition, man. I got one while you're pulling it up. We do peeves on every show, so that didn't come out of left field. But people who get hair transplants but won't admit it. No, no. How about this? Yeah. The guy who goes... Hush your shoulder when they start a question off? Sorry. It's actually a good peeve. Oh.

no no leg touch is worse i'm not gonna touch your leg unless you want me to um thank you i don't mind touch me i'm immune now when you say touch me then it's like oh boy so uh i you know i do gigs i'm a comedian we do gigs every weekend all over the country i had a gig in rochester it's a seven hour drive oh i already know where you're going now my opener does he hates flying so he's like

You know, if you drive there, it's seven hours. But you can fly. You got to get to the airport an hour early. You got to be at the airport. Then the flight's an hour. Then you got to land at the airport. Then you got to get an Uber. Then you got to get to the hotel. It comes out to about seven hours. No, it doesn't. And I'm like, it's a 44-minute flight. LaGuardia is 20 minutes from my house. You're crazy. But he does the whole, like...

Like, if you drive and fly, this guy Raj. But he was like, yeah, if you drive and fly, it's kind of the same. The peep is the guy who bullshit you about, because he'd rather drive. So he's doing the whole, an hour flight plus a seven-hour drive. They're pretty much the same when you factor all the Ubers in and getting there an hour early. I'm like, get the fuck out of here. That's my peep. I will say. Okay. I hate that fucking, I did that. I have like a.

long been my act right now about a flight that i thought was going to go down on my way to rochester oh yeah and it was literally like the night before jim norton was like i fucking hate that little plane oh yeah and of course the next day the plane just started shaking to drive it was one of those called it it was the worst flight of my life it's a bad flight but yeah but i i relate to this peeve dude they just want what they want that's what it is just tell me that yeah

Don't give me the it's the same time. Yeah, just go, I'm afraid of flying. Yeah. And I would prefer to drive. Yes, that's fine. Yeah. And I'll go, okay, you drive, I'll fly. How about that? Is that what happened? Yeah. And I got there and I was like, I'm in my hotel jerking off. And he's like, I got four hours to go. Exactly. I was like, I'll see you in hell. Wait, did you drive or fly? I flew. All right. And he drew. And he drew. He drew. He drew. Now, all right. What do you got? I got a few, Pete. I got one...

People with insanely tight phone windows. Oh. You remember that friend who calls you and you get like five missed calls and you're like, oh shit, all right. And then you call them back and then they don't answer. Uh-huh. And they like call you back at like 1 a.m. Right. And you're like, what kind of fucking phone schedule am I working with? He called you on his window. Yes. But that wasn't your window. Not my window, but like I'm around now. Yeah. I hate the aggressive, the five missed calls. Yes. I was like, oh, I just didn't, I wasn't on my phone on me. Then you call back. And then I call back. They're gone for like seven hours. Ha ha.

I hate that shit. What is he, like a longshoreman? I don't know. You can't get to a phone in seven hours? It's a P. That's definitely me. Oh, there you go. But I don't call five times. I call once, and then I'm like, ah, well. But the L.A. thing I've noticed is you guys, because you're always driving, you're the voice memo people.

Nothing better than a voice memo. I hate a voice memo. I love a voice memo. Nothing worse than a text to you and a voice memo back. I hate it. It's another for you. Love it. It's almost too much dilly-dally, too. It's like, what was that thing I wanted to tell you? And you're like, oh, give me the text. Yeah. When I see a text. And I got to sit there and spell it out right. Yes. None of that. I get why you do it, but it's a New York. I like how you think it's a.

Like New York does not do that? No. He does it all the time and it's infuriating. Oh my gosh, it's infectious. If you have an idea, if you're like, I got a new idea for this show I wanted to throw at you, here it is. Sometimes a text needs inflection. That's true. I'd rather just do a call. I'd rather do a call as well. But you might not have a window. Bad window. The text I hate is, are you going to jump on this Zoom or what?

Ooh. Because I forgot. I clearly forgot. Oh, that's a bad tag. Or where are you? Yes, where are you? I've hit you with some of those. I hate it when I leave my iPad on a helicopter. I hate it. All right. Then I got to call the place. Yeah, yeah. Why are people choppering more? I don't know if they are.

I feel like we should be choppering more. There's very few choppers. I want a chopper left. I think they're everywhere. I don't know. They're all over New York. Well, why can't we take choppers, I'm saying? Like, you can get... You don't have the money. Ah, that's a good point. You can take it to, like, JFK. They do that thing. The blade. Yeah. Yeah. Blade is big. It's a grand even to do blade, I think. Oh, is it? I believe so. Uh-oh. Columbia Library. All right. That's not good. Here's my last... That's my peeve.

Movie previews. I hate them. Oh. When I see a movie like, oh, it starts at 135, I'm like, I will walk in at 2 o'clock. That's true. Do you call to make sure? Yeah. No, I don't even call. I just like, I know there's going to be half hour of, I was like, I'm no interest. Do you still go to the theater a lot? I like, I like, yeah, I like going to a movie when I can. But I hate, I hate watching previews.

Interesting. I was like, don't show me exactly what I want. I was like, all right, that movie explained that three minutes explained everything in the movie. Yes. Then you go to that movie, you're like, show me exactly what I wanted. Right. I want to be surprised. Oh, that's a good peeve. That's a good peeve. It's like in James Bond where they're like, well, here's all the gadgets and here's all the stuff he's going to do and here's the villain and here's how it ends.

And I was like, I don't want to. Just, yeah. Yeah. As a kid, I loved him. But that was pre-internet. So you're like, what the hell is this new movie coming out? Oh, my God. You would never know about it otherwise. Yeah, there's no YouTube. Yeah. But now. I love the trailers. Now I'm with you, though. Now it's like they're literally 40 minutes. And you're going to see it on YouTube or Twitter or something. And then there are people that love it. So it's good for them. Yeah. All right. I got to go, guys. I got to go to the airport. Oh, sorry. Geez. Chopper?

Yeah. All right. The 1% Club on Fox. Check it out. Fox. Yes. Are you touring too right now? I'm doing a few shows in August and September. Nice. In the Northwest. Go to Joel McKay's website and check him out. Look at you guys. This is our tour dates. Look at you guys. You're everywhere. We're moving and shaking.

That's some money. Oh, yeah. Well, dude, it was great to see you, man. Well, thank you, guys. Thanks for popping in. That was a good chat. Red Bank, New Jersey on July 12th. Count Basie Theater, The Wilbur in Boston, August 7th. Irvine Improv, August 24th through 22nd through 24th, rather. The next week, I'm in Oklahoma City at Bricktown Comedy Club. Hell, yeah.

Then I'm in Vegas. Is that the next one? Vegas, September 19th at the Venetian. Never done that one. Looking forward to it. Rochester Comedy at the Carlson, the 25th through 27th. Doing some clubs to tighten it up. And then Chicago Theater, October 4th. That's a big one. October 5th, I'm in Winnipeg at a casino. Looking forward to that. November 14th.

Through 16th, just added these wise guys in Salt Lake City, Utah, one of my favorite clubs. And December 4th, Carnegie motherfucking Hall. Whoa! Tickets, baby. That's big. Marcus, where are you going to be, brother? Yo, I'm all over the road. We're trying to shoot a special in the fall, so we're going to be... Where are you shooting? I think I'm shooting in Denver.

Paramount? No, no. I'm going off the beaten path. What are you thinking? It's this place in Boulder. Oh, I like that. Oh, yeah. All right. People have been using it to film a lot. How big a venue? I think it's 1,000, so we're doing two of them. So I'm going to try to get in two. I love it. But I have a backup plan. If I don't get it there, I'm going to get it in D.C. at the Lincoln.

I think two is plenty these days. Okay. I think we kill ourselves. You can't get in two? Yeah, no, I hope you're right. You just get pickups if you fuck something up. Yeah, okay. So I'm at the, oh wait, this is? June 13th. Yeah, this comes out this week. Yeah. But that's Friday. Oopsie. Thank you.

Wausau, Wisconsin at the Grand Theater. Then Green Bay, Wisconsin. Then Eugene, Oregon. San Jose, California. The Melody Tent in Cape Cod. Very excited about that. It's not selling. I'm at the Foxwoods Casino in Connecticut. Then Parks Casino in Bensalem, Pennsylvania. Then we're off to New Zealand, Australia. We're adding shows in Melbourne, Sydney, and Adelaide. So come on out to Australia. Haven't been out there in, I don't know, two years.

And then we're off to the Hamptons and Calgary with Adam Ray. We're doing the Great Outdoors Festival. You did that, I think. It's fun. Fun. Vegas at the Palazzo. And then Dallas, Texas for quite a nine-run show. I love Dallas. That's where I'm really going to polish that hour.

You're going to hate it. I know. I can't wait to hate it. Akron, Dayton, Halifax, and Ottawa. Love it. And guys, buy Bodega Cat Whiskey at bodegacatwhiskey.com. Oh, yeah. If you want it in your liquor store, DM the Instagram account. Yes. You know, hit us up, bodegacatwhiskey on Instagram.

Throw them a follow. Oh, yeah. And, yeah, if you want us in your liquor store, we're working on it, man. So get it going. You guys are the best, so thanks for listening. Should we give out Matt Herman's email? Yeah. They want to text him or email him directly? What's his email? I think it's mattherman.com.

Oh, shit. Can I plug something? Oh! I'm hosting a game show now. Whoa. Okay. It's called That Sounds Right. Ah, I like the title. I love it. Give it a shot. Where can people find it? YouTube. What's it called? That Sounds Right. That Sounds Right with Matt Herman. All right. I mean, Matt Peters. What the fuck? There's too many Matts in this room. I know. There's seven Matts. And then email. So watch Matt Peters' new show. And then we got Matt.

Herman, Matt at TheStreamlineLab.com. TheStreamlineLab.com. Matt at TheStreamlineLab.com. If you want Bordega Cat Whiskey at your bar, please hit them up because we're making a lot of moves here in New York City. Oh, yeah. We'd like to make some moves in your state. Oh, yeah. Your bar, your liquor store.

Yes. I mean, it feels good. I'll run into people. I was at a bar the other night. Shout out Shade in the West Village. Oh, I love Shade. Popped into Shade and the bartender looks at me and goes, I'm guessing you want a bodega cat whiskey. And I said, yes, I do. Hell yeah. Manhattan. How great. How great is that? Great night. Shout out Shade in the West Village. Great little bar. Classic.

I think we're at the Comedy Store on the menu. Oh, that's right. The Sunset Boulevardier at the Comedy Store. You know we love Boulevardiers. The Comedy Store. Shout out Comedy Store for serving a little weekend.

We got on the menu before in the lineup. I'll take it. Barry Rodney. On the menu before the lineup. I'm honored. I'm honored that they're serving our stuff. Me too. I can't wait to pull up to the comedy store next time in L.A. and drink one. Definitely. Sunset Boulevard. I love the title. Great title. Great club. Great time to be alive. We'll see you all in hell. Thank you, Joel McHale. Thank you, drunks. Praise Allah.