[Patreon Preview] Ep 11.5: Hot Toddy & Juice Bomb IPA: Last Call
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One more drink, more drink, and for sure we gon' stink. 5am, you pricks, the bomb, what we do. Catch up for a few, we'll riff and talk some shit, and then we'll sleep till 2. Talk some shit, and then we'll sleep till 2. Hey, hey, Patreon! You guys are in on the ground floor, you guys get it, the real deal, the real elkies. The patrons, baby. Yes.

We wouldn't be here without you. That's probably not true, but... Yeah, we'd be here, but we're grateful. Yes. You got to have gratitude. That's what... What's his face? Kurt Vonnegut said. Are you a Vonnegut head? I love Vonnegut. Which is your favorite? I mean, I like Breakfast of Champions, but I think...

I think Slaughterhouse-Five is good, but I like his... I just like his mindset, his outlook on life. I love his quotes are great. Yeah, he's a genius. We're all just here to fart around. Great stuff. Yeah, he's... He was lighter, you know? He was funny and just easygoing. It wasn't like...

You know, the world's going to end and you suck and I'm Kafka and your mom hates you and all this shit. Yeah, like you knew he was depressed, but he presented it in a palatable way for sure. I love Breakfast of Champions. I read Cat's Cradle so long ago. I don't remember as well. The only ones I've read, I think, were those two. Those may be the only two I've read of it, honestly.

I never did Cat's Cradle. Is it worth it? Yeah, I mean, I think they're all supposed to be just, like, great. Gary Goldman, our buddy's favorite. He's obsessed. Yeah, he's obsessed, and I think he's great, and I think he was in Back to School. Amazing cameo. Yeah, how cool is that? One of the funniest. Oh, by the way, I've been watching Cobra Kai because of you.

I'm sorry. It's the cheesiest shit I've ever watched that I'm still enjoying. That's what it is. They own the cheesy. They know it's cheesy. They're leaning in. Yeah, you're right. I think the self-awareness makes it weirdly charming. Yes, exactly. Exactly. That's what it is. Do you kind of like...

William Zabka better than Machio? Oh, no doubt about it. It's so fun. He's the protagonist.

Yeah, he's fucking great. I love him. What a great spin. I mean, that's how things have kind of shifted, where he's the... Because he's the underdog again. You know, Machio was the outcast, nerd, loser guy from New Jersey, and they were the bullies, and now he's rich, car salesman in a suit, Zapka's down-and-out, drunk apartment. And Brett Ernst plays his fucking lunatic, drunken cousin who's... I love him. I love Brett, so that's so funny to see him on it.

He kills it, he's so funny Dan Aduet is the other guy He was a comic in New York I opened for him at Tulane back in the day Yeah, he had funny shit, Dan's funny, man Yeah, he's funny, he's a good guy too I did his podcast ten years ago Back when I didn't know what a podcast was Yeah, great guy He had a joke back in the day where he'd be like So I'm an Iranian Jew So you guys are probably thinking You don't know whether to hate me Or hate me Ha ha ha ha

I love the same setup punch. Tough to put a different spin on that setup, which I think it kind of did. But yeah, I thought it was a funny line. Definitely. Isn't it funny how stand-up is so... I was talking to somebody about this today. Stand-up is so weird because obviously you can be funny and not like Will Ferrell probably couldn't do stand-up. But he's a funny... He's obviously a funny guy. Larry David, one of my heroes, one of the funniest guys to me ever, sucked as a stand-up.

Although I've heard he kind of didn't Like I've heard that he was like So this guy I knew back in the day Like Paul Herzig ran a club in the 80s Called Comedy U And you know Joy Behar, Susie Essman Like they'd be like the resident MCs And he said one time We're like Comedy Jew Sorry

He would laugh at that He's an old Jew, he would find that funny But he's a great dude His son Ryan actually used to work at the stand But anyway He told me Larry David He walked into his club once and performed He goes, he was too good for my room People knew Larry was hilarious He just wouldn't do well on stage Because he was so unlikable He didn't know He didn't know how to be Larry yet I don't think

Like as a performer, because the jokes I think were always good. I mean, when you're that good a writer, you can because you bring up Will Ferrell. Will Ferrell's an incredible riffer and performer. Like maybe he could have found figured out stand up if he wanted to. But like I think if Larry stuck with it, he'd be a great comic. OK, OK. I hope you're right, because but I do think stand up has this weird skill set and this weird persistence that you have to have, which maybe he doesn't have.

Disagree So much of what he does on Curb Is like basically stand up Him complaining It's one of these people George You wouldn't want George Costanza to do stand up for an hour I think he would have totally figured it out The complaining he would have mastered He would have been like I mean fuck can you imagine A dual act of Jerry and Larry I just want to watch them Their comedies in Cars is by far the best I know

I've watched it 800 times over and over. I love it, but they'll go back and forth. Why is a cigarette different from a cigar? You're both smoking. And they break it down, and I fucking jerk off to that shit. But...

I don't know. I mean, I hope you're right. Again, I want you to be right. I just don't know if he could have ever gotten over as a stand-up without fame. Yeah, I think he's weirdly grown into his looks, too. Like, he looks good now. As a young guy, he looked ridiculous. That fucking, like, giant fro. I think that shit all hurts. Like, Jerry was so clean-cut and, like, kind of looked good on stage. I think especially in the 80s, that mattered. But being presentable as...

An on-camera type of dude was big. Yeah, yeah. There's an old story of Dave Attell and Adam Sandler at a diner. This is, I don't know, 88. And Dave Attell's bombing, and he goes back, and they're eating ice cream at a diner at 2 in the morning. And Dave Attell's like, I'm so ugly. I'll never make it. You're cute. The girls love you, and I'll never make it. And Sandler's like, nah, nah, you're funny. You'll be fine. And I always think about that, because I think you're right. In the 80s, ugly mattered.

But Attell also kind of like is another dude that kind of grew into his looks a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like, yeah, look, I mean, Larry David is, uh,

I don't know. I mean, who gives a fuck? I want you to be right. I'm just worried that stand-up is another world. Well, Larry, his greatness is as a writer and comic actor anyway. So it's like, could he have made it as a comic? Sure. Would he have been as good a stand-up as he is as an actor and writer? Probably not. He's one of the funniest people ever at what he does. It would be hard. How many comics are as good at stand-up as he is at that? There's a very small list, so it would be hard.

Yes, yes, exactly. That's what worries me. He's obviously brilliant. He's a comedic genius. And yet, I don't know if he'd ever be a huge stand-up. And that's what I'm saying. But not everyone's meant to be. And also, the criteria for what made a stand-up in the 80s, as you said, like Paul Reiser was what they were looking for, not Larry David. Yes, cute, accessible, interesting.

But I can't watch Paul Reiser's stand-up, you know? No, no, no. Nobody wants that. But I mean, I like couplehood. Yeah, I like Mad About You. I like Paul Reiser, man. I'm just saying his stand-up just kind of doesn't do it for me.

Right, right. It's almost like if you could water down Seinfeld. Exactly. It's like, Jesus, how much water is in this? But yeah. Yeah, it's like cutesy observations. Let's do an email. Yeah. Pet P from Rebecca. Mark and Sam, my husband and I are big fans. We've seen you both live in Connecticut and Rhode Island. Boom. Love that. I am a family nurse practitioner. Thank you for what you do. And sometimes medical questions come up on the pod. Sleep meds, COVID symptoms.

I would be happy to clarify or answer any of these questions. Feel free to email me anytime with questions. Oh, that's so nice of you. I'm also currently a vaccinator and can answer any questions about that process too. Pet peeve slash bit. People think that they're wearing a mask and that you can't hear their snide remarks. Old man makes no eye contact saying move or hurry. Have heard a couple of Jesus Christ. People think their voice is anonymous because they have a mask on, even though they're standing right next to you.

Yeah, that's good. That's a good. That's true. It is annoying. Yeah, yeah, I've done it. I've done it where I'm like, come on, what the fuck are you doing? And it's kind of like how when someone takes a picture of you with a mask on, you still smile. Yes. There's something about that mask that you just think like, ah, I'm kind of covered. I'm OK. But now people people can hear you.

It's also like kind of the keyboard thing. The less, the more anonymous you are, the bigger the asshole you can become. Oh, that's dead on. We cover up just part of your face and you're still just like, cunt. Yeah. Yeah. Isn't that funny? You know, and then you see, it's kind of like the guy shitting on you at school. Then you see him in the schoolyard and he's like, oh no, I love you, man. I'm a huge fan or whatever the hell. And you're like, ah, I heard you were talking shit in the cafeteria.

It's so fucking funny. You're right. Anonymous. Anonymity. Boy, this thing is strong. Anonymity. What do you got? How does that go? Anonymity? Anonymity? Anonymity. No. Is that right? Anonymity? Ambiguity? No. Anonymity. Why is it such a tongue twister? Anonymity. Yeah, you're right. All right. All right. RJ Cinco says, dumb, period.

Have you seen the documentary about Big Brother magazine? I know Mark used to be a skater, so he might be into it. Not sure what Sam's taste is as much. It gets crazy when they branch off of skateboarding and just go pretty much on the creation of Jackass. It's a Hulu documentary, but I think it also might be on HBO.