cover of episode Are You Excusing Behavior...Or Changing It? A Challenge! #450

Are You Excusing Behavior...Or Changing It? A Challenge! #450

2025/2/19
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Calm Parenting Podcast

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Kirk Martin
专注于家庭教育和儿童行为管理的专家,提供实用的策略和脚本来改变家庭和学校中的行为。
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Kirk Martin: 我在节目中提出了一个挑战,鼓励父母们在孩子犯错时,尝试将这些情况转化为亲子间的联结机会,而不是简单地批评和惩罚。我分享了一个母亲的故事,她的女儿熬夜完成作业,这位母亲并没有责备女儿,而是肯定了女儿的努力和坚持,最终女儿主动寻求帮助,改善自己的时间管理能力。我还分享了其他例子,例如孩子用枕头打闹弄脏了枕头,孩子自己剪头发等,并建议父母们在处理这些问题时,先肯定孩子的积极行为,再引导他们改正错误,并设定合适的后果。总而言之,我的观点是,与其一味批评和惩罚,不如尝试理解孩子行为背后的原因,并给予肯定和支持,帮助他们改正错误,建立更积极的亲子关系。 我强调了理解孩子行为动机的重要性,例如孩子熬夜完成作业可能是因为他们的大脑需要刺激,或者他们更喜欢在安静的环境下学习。我们应该帮助孩子找到更健康的方式来满足这些需求,而不是简单地责备他们。 我还建议父母们要克服自身的焦虑和控制欲,才能更好地理解和引导孩子。父母的焦虑和控制欲会让孩子感到压力,并影响亲子关系。 最后,我鼓励父母们要尊重孩子,支持孩子在他们擅长的领域发展,而不是强求他们按照自己的意愿去做。 一位母亲: 我女儿半夜完成作业,我本想批评她,但最终选择理解并支持她。我并没有责备她,而是肯定了她的努力和坚持。这让她感到很意外,也让她意识到自己需要改进时间管理能力。最终,她主动向我寻求帮助,我们一起探讨了她的学习习惯和时间管理方法。这个过程让我们更了解彼此,也增进了我们的亲子关系。

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Are You Excusing Behavior...Or Changing It? A Challenge! #450

Your toddler finds scissors and mangles her bangs, your boys ruin your good pillows fighting outside, your tween/teen procrastinates until 2am to complete an assignment. You would be justified and right to lecture and give them consequences. But this week, I am challenging you to do something very different when your child misbehaves....that will actually change their behavior more quickly.

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