cover of episode “I’m A Bad Kid. I’m Stupid.” Kid Who Works Slowly, Daydreams, Doesn’t Participate. #473

“I’m A Bad Kid. I’m Stupid.” Kid Who Works Slowly, Daydreams, Doesn’t Participate. #473

2025/4/27
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Calm Parenting Podcast

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Kirk Martin
专注于家庭教育和儿童行为管理的专家,提供实用的策略和脚本来改变家庭和学校中的行为。
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Kirk Martin: 我认为孩子成功与人际关系的关键不在于好行为或符合社会标准,而在于保护孩子的自信心和内心独白。许多孩子因为学习速度慢、爱做白日梦或不参与课堂讨论而被贴上负面标签,这会形成消极的内心独白,影响他们的一生。 父母的首要任务是保护孩子的自信心和内心独白,因为这将潜移默化地影响孩子的一生。我们需要帮助孩子建立积极的内心独白,肯定他们的特质,而不是总是试图纠正他们的不足。 许多孩子只是信息处理速度较慢,这并非缺点,而是他们大脑工作方式的不同。我们不应该试图改变他们的天性,而应该培养他们的独特天赋和热情。 许多成年人仍然受童年时期形成的消极或限制性内心独白的困扰,我们应该打破代际模式,避免将这些限制性信念传递给孩子。 我们需要持续肯定孩子已经做好的事情,而不是总是试图纠正他们的不足。这并不是虚假的赞美,而是对事实的认可,也是在教导他们如何认识自身大脑的工作方式。 学校和老师不应该以武断的标准来评价孩子,而应该重视孩子的创造力和深度思考能力。我们应该鼓励孩子独立思考,培养他们的问题解决能力。 不要将自己的社交偏好强加给孩子,要尊重孩子独立工作或不喜欢群体项目的倾向。不要强迫孩子参与群体活动,要尊重孩子的独立性和自主性。 老师应该关注孩子的独特思考方式,而不是强迫他们按照标准模式行事。孩子爱做白日梦通常是智力超群的表现,父母应该理解和引导,而不是批评。 我们需要改变视角,看到孩子的优点,并给予肯定。我们要培养孩子的优势和才能,而不是试图改变他们的行为。

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Shownotes Transcript

Many of our kids begin to internalize, “I’m a bad kid, I’m slow so I’m not smart, there’s something wrong with me. I’m always in trouble, no one is ever happy with me.” That internal dialogue will sabotage your child’s success and relationships for a lifetime (many of us still struggle with limiting beliefs). The good news is we can change that NOW. Kirk gives you specific scripts to cultivate your child’s confidence and help teachers get on board.

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