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cover of episode Massive Meltdowns: 5 Steps To Calm Kids Who Blame & Feel Shame #479

Massive Meltdowns: 5 Steps To Calm Kids Who Blame & Feel Shame #479

2025/5/14
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Calm Parenting Podcast

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Kirk Martin
专注于家庭教育和儿童行为管理的专家,提供实用的策略和脚本来改变家庭和学校中的行为。
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Kirk Martin: 大家好,我是Kirk Martin,今天想和大家聊聊如何应对孩子因羞愧和尴尬而情绪崩溃的情况。很多时候,孩子因为计划被打乱或者遇到挫折而情绪失控,甚至会责怪父母。这背后往往隐藏着深深的羞愧感和尴尬,他们觉得自己不够好,无法控制局面。作为父母,我们首先要控制好自己的情绪,不要被孩子的情绪所触发。然后,我们要尝试理解孩子的情绪,用强烈的肯定来验证他们的感受,让他们知道我们理解他们的挫败感。最重要的是,给孩子一个摆脱困境的机会,让他们做一些他们能控制的事情,这样可以帮助他们重拾自信,缓解羞愧感。我记得有一次,我的儿子因为一件小事和我大吵一架,我当时也很生气,差点就和他对着干。但我突然想起我节目里讲过的方法,我就深吸一口气,让自己冷静下来。然后,我就走到儿子身边,对他说:“我知道你现在很生气,因为事情没有按照你想要的方式发展。没关系,爸爸理解你。”然后,我就让他帮我一起准备晚餐,让他负责他最擅长的部分。结果,儿子很快就平静下来了,还主动向我道歉。所以,我想告诉大家,应对孩子的情绪崩溃,关键在于理解和接纳,而不是指责和惩罚。只要我们用心去倾听孩子的声音,帮助他们找到解决问题的方法,他们就能走出困境,健康成长。 Kirk Martin: 作为父母,我经常反思自己,如何才能更好地帮助孩子应对情绪。我发现,很多时候,我们总是急于纠正孩子的错误,却忽略了他们内心的感受。其实,孩子的情绪就像一座冰山,我们看到的只是露出水面的一角,而隐藏在水下的才是真正的原因。如果我们只关注表面现象,就很难真正解决问题。所以,我开始尝试从孩子的角度出发,去理解他们的想法和感受。我发现,很多时候,孩子的情绪崩溃并不是因为他们做错了什么,而是因为他们感到无助和失控。他们不知道该如何处理自己的情绪,也不知道该如何表达自己的需求。所以,作为父母,我们要做的就是帮助他们学会管理自己的情绪,找到表达自己需求的方式。这需要我们付出耐心和爱心,去倾听他们的声音,去理解他们的感受,去支持他们的成长。我相信,只要我们用心去做,就能帮助孩子建立健康的情绪管理能力,让他们在人生的道路上走得更稳、更远。

Deep Dive

Chapters
This chapter explores the reasons behind children's intense meltdowns when their plans are disrupted. It highlights the role of a child's strong will, determination, and difficulty handling transitions, changes, and setbacks. The chapter sets the stage for exploring solutions to these challenging situations.
  • Children's intense reactions stem from feeling a loss of control.
  • Minor disappointments escalate into major blowups due to underlying issues.
  • Traditional discipline methods often worsen the situation.

Shownotes Transcript

Plans get changed, your child gets disappointed or doesn’t get his way. This turns into a nuclear meltdown with defiance and disrespect. But there is a solution. Do you know WHY your kids sometimes go scorched earth? How can you de-escalate everyday situations without threatening consequences or talking too “calmly” to your kids? Kirk gives you five specific action steps and a creative script to use. 

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