cover of episode Messes, Sibling Fights, Whining, Defiance: How to Tackle Your Triggers #476

Messes, Sibling Fights, Whining, Defiance: How to Tackle Your Triggers #476

2025/5/4
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Calm Parenting Podcast

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Kirk Martin
专注于家庭教育和儿童行为管理的专家,提供实用的策略和脚本来改变家庭和学校中的行为。
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Kirk Martin: 我理解许多父母都会被孩子的凌乱、争吵、不听话等行为所困扰。这些触发点常常源于我们自身的经历和期望。本期节目,我将分享一些具体的步骤,帮助大家克服这些触发点,从而改善亲子关系,并让孩子学会自我负责。首先,我们要学会预期并接受这些情况的发生,改变对自身和孩子的期望。因为孩子们的凌乱、争吵、不听话等行为,都是正常的家庭现象。其次,我们要尝试“待在其中”,感受负面情绪,并反思这些情绪的根源。这有助于我们打破代际模式,并找到问题的根源。在“待在其中”的过程中,我们可以通过阅读、听音乐等方式来帮助自己平静下来。目标是让触发点不再引起强烈的生理反应。第三,我们要停止戏剧化,不要让这些事情控制我们的情绪。我们要从总是为这些事情烦恼的状态中解脱出来。我们可以通过做一些善事来转移注意力,例如焦虑时进行捐赠,匆忙时刻意放慢速度。第四,我们要关注自己能够控制的事情,找到能带来平静和秩序感的活动。这可以帮助我们更好地管理情绪,并找到内心的平静。第五,我们要学会果断地寻求帮助,例如向伴侣寻求帮助,而不是抱怨。同时,我们要尝试以工作中指导同事的方式与孩子沟通,这有助于改善亲子关系。第六,我们要换个角度看待凌乱和噪音,它们代表着正常的家庭生活,而非道德问题。第七,我们可以选择自己快乐地打扫卫生,或者只负责自己能控制的部分,例如洗碗机。第八,我们可以考虑花钱请人打扫卫生,或者雇佣其他孩子的孩子来帮忙。最后,我们要记住,我们正在打破代际模式,让我们的孩子不必再为同样的问题而挣扎。通过练习,逐渐适应凌乱和噪音,并以此为榜样教育孩子,这是一种有效的管教方式。

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So what DOES trigger you? Messes, sibling fights, kids not listening, whining and complaining and tantrums, silliness at bedtime, kids talking back, procrastination? Maybe all of these common things! Kirk gives you specific action steps so you can preserve your sanity, overcome your triggers, stop reacting AND get your kids to be responsible for themselves.

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