cover of episode Pt. 1: How to Shut Up & Stop Lecturing (So Kids Actually Listen To You) #447

Pt. 1: How to Shut Up & Stop Lecturing (So Kids Actually Listen To You) #447

2025/2/9
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Kirk Barton: 我发现说教不仅无效,还会破坏亲子关系。它源于父母的焦虑和控制欲,而不是真正为了帮助孩子。当我感到需要不停地对孩子说教时,其实是我自己的焦虑在作祟。我应该允许孩子拥有自己的选择,而不是试图控制他们。我应该放下自己的焦虑,信任他们能够做出正确的决定。我应该以身作则,用行动来影响他们,而不是用语言来唠叨他们。我应该给他们空间,让他们自己去体验和学习。我意识到,真正的教育不是说教,而是引导和支持。我应该控制自己说教的冲动,给孩子更多自主权,这样他们才能真正成长和负责任。 Kirk Barton: 我意识到自己常常因为焦虑而对孩子说教,希望他们能按照我的想法去做。但这种方式不仅无效,还会让孩子产生反感。我需要改变自己的心态,停止控制,开始信任。我应该给孩子更多的自主权,让他们自己去探索和学习。我应该以身作则,用行动来影响他们,而不是用语言来唠叨他们。我应该学会倾听孩子的声音,了解他们的想法和感受。我应该尊重他们的选择,即使我不同意。我应该支持他们,帮助他们成长为独立和负责任的人。我发现,当我放下控制欲,开始信任孩子时,亲子关系变得更加和谐,孩子也变得更加自信和独立。

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This chapter explores the negative impacts of lecturing on children, highlighting how it breeds resentment, destroys trust, and ultimately fails to achieve its intended purpose. It emphasizes the difference between lecturing and teaching, and the importance of managing parental anxiety in order to improve communication with kids.
  • Lecturing makes kids angry and less receptive.
  • It breeds resentment and destroys trust.
  • It's often about the parent's anxiety, not the child's behavior.
  • Teaching is confident, decisive, and puts responsibility on the child.

Shownotes Transcript

Pt. 1: How to Shut Up & Stop Lecturing (So Kids Actually Listen To You) #447

Do you feel compelled to lecture your kids? Do you have a hard time stopping? Do you feel like you’re being permissive if you don’t? Do you go on and on hoping your kids will finally “get it” and change their behavior? Do you lecture because you weren’t heard as a kid? You’re not alone! Kirk gives you practical tools to stop lecturing and start getting kids to listen to you! 

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