A Scandal in Bohemia - Part Four
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Come join the Patreon. It's a huge community now with loads of extra cool stuff. Patreon.com forward slash Sherlock and Co. Previously on Sherlock and Co. Holy crap, are you okay? That is what I want. How exactly is this working? She's with us, is she not? Where do you live? St. John's Wood. I know it quite well, actually.

Whereabouts? Oh, do you know Bryony Lodge? I had a friend who lived there actually In number three I'm number four Why did you do that? What was the point? Seriously, for God's sake You know her background, her character, her schedule And where she lives What took her keys?

Through this alley. It will come out of the Briony Lodge estate. Run! Now! Run! Are you kidding me? There's a back door, Watson! Hi, mate. You follow that cab? There. Don't let them get away. What's that she's going? Golder's Green Synagogue. And who is this? Frey. Irene. He's my son. No bow for the royal baby. Hmm.

It's endgame time, people. This is A Scandal in Bohemia Part 4. The conclusion is in sight, and I wish you all the very best. I really do. Trigger warnings are in the episode description. You've got your usual medium-sized serving of swearing. Sorry about that, but the moment, well, plenty of moments, actually, called for it. So, yeah, I will see you next week for the finale. If you can't wait, then sign up. You won't regret it.

How?

Sorry? This mikvah. What's its purpose? Its purpose? What is the purpose of immersing him in the living water? To cleanse him. To mark his belonging, Sherlock. His belonging? Yes. To something that matters. Faith. An alien concept to you? Not at all. Your knuckles are whitening. Your shoulders are high and tight. I sense discomfort in these halls of worship, do I not? Perhaps you might. A little.

Doctor? Yes? Yeah? Turn the microphone off. Oh, I don't really do... This is part of our process. In cases where... This is a mikvah for my son. This is not part of your show. Plus, you're my witness. A good doctor to oversee his immersion. I'm not... I'm not Jewish. This ritual is personal, Dr. Watson. Not institutional. Right. Uh, okay. Um...

I'll do my best. Nice to meet you, Frey. Good. Cool name. You're staring. So are you. A lot of candles. Yeah. A divine presence, they say. Fire reveals everything. Even God. Even God. The burning bush, of course. Check out Rabbi Sherlock. And then there's water. Don't get too close to that water, please, Sherlock, sweetie. I was merely observing. Mein Heim.

Water untouched by human hands. Only by gods. Is it like a baptism? Some see it that way. Yeah. Like a rebirth kind of thing. Okay, what do you see it as? Protection. Protection from what? His ancestry. The past that came before him. You have seen the picture? I have. The queen and her beautiful Johns.

A heartless woman. Royal succession is a carefully managed strategy, Irene. She banished him to Bohemia like he's some traitor to the British crown. A blind baby sent away? That's shame. And cruelty, Sherlock. That's not strategy. How did you get past Nelverton's password? He said there was a password on the drive. Easy. How exactly is it easy? Cerberus. Oh, Cerberus.

Milverton referred to the drive in the terms of Pandora's box. Hell contained. In the same mythology, the guard of the underworld is... Cerberus. The rabbi's here. What else is on there? The drive. Who else? You think I'd stand here and tell you that? Who do you wish to use it against? Microphone off. Is it Ormstein, or do you wish this boy to be paraded on the front of every paper as you throw the British crown into chaos? Hmm?

Answer me, I read. Answer me. It's as before, but it's such an improvement. The cabinet's bigger, they look bigger. He made them so they go right into the corner, see? Oh, yeah. So now we have a corner cupboard too. Right about the kettle, genius. Making a cup of tea just got...

5% easier. Oh, I am all about the slight improvements. And, crucially... Doesn't smell. It does not smell. Yeah, well done, Mike. Even if he did wake me up the last couple of mornings with his sore antics. Oh, um... Hey, maybe we don't play with fire, homesy boy? Just a thought. Fire reveals everything. Even God. Hey, sorry, gonna do my serious voice now. Can we genuinely...

Not play with fire. New microphone, I see. Yep. Small. Well, it's not the size that matters. It's, uh... Well, it's mostly down to editing. Hmm. Hey, Sherlock. Yes? Can we, um... Can we engage with something outside of your own head for a moment? Of course, yes. Are you all right? Can I... Can I get you anything? No. No.

Would you like to hang upside down? That usually helps. No. But thank you, Mariana. I just need... I need a plan. Yeah. Things have got a bit more complicated now, mate. She has a young baby. A very important baby. Sherlock, and this is to both of you. This is a scandal from the 1800s.

I said this to you, John. You've got to give yourself a break with the whole weight of this thing. I wish it was so. I'm serious. Royal families are messed up. The line breaks all the time. Listen, I'm Spanish, okay? Our guys are just as weird and dysfunctional. The line broke, yes. It's not uncommon for the eldest boy to be robbed of his inheritance for any number of reasons. But... But... They paid them off? Generation after generation. Consistently.

John, it's me mate. This is taking the piss now. Shit, right. I'm gonna call him. Where's my phone? You're holding it, John. You are holding your phone, mate. Get some sleep. Or a brain transplant. Let me see. Gregson. There is no smoke without fire. The smoke is the hush money. The fire? I think we're in a good position.

Despite this creepy doom-mongering thing that you're doing right now? Is that so? Yeah, we know her. We know what she's got and what she knows. We know where she lives. I've got the police on my case constantly, as you've seen. All we have to do is direct them her way. I'm going out. Sherlock, can you not, please? I can, and I must, and I will. Yeah, but... But what, John? I have to go with you, because I've got the mic. Then I shall record with our new little friend, should anything exciting happen. Would that satisfy your listeners? Would it?

I mean, yeah. That was beautiful, absolutely beautiful. That'll give it up for Tony Esport, his 12th piece orchestra. Absolutely fantastic, filling this room. Marvelous job, Tony, marvelous job. It's like being at the Albert Hall, isn't it? Next up we have Irene. Come on up, Irene. Evening, everybody.

This one is for my buddy Sherlock over there. Un bel dì from Madame Butterfly. Enjoy your evening, everybody. Thank you, Tony. I actually think we can start storing more stuff in the kitchen altogether now. Hey, it's your flat, okay? Don't involve me, because then I get asked where everything is and... Whoa, who on earth? Oh my god, rude knock, jeez. Yeah, I know.

Oh, God, let me handle it. It's probably just a new client who's stressed or, you know, freaking out because of... John Watson, don't move! Ah! Do not move! Ah! I told you, John. I told you to answer your bloody phone. Tom, what are you doing? Ah! We've asked you not to move! I can't move! You're on top of me! You are under arrest. Out come, guys! This is not okay! Oh! Easy on the leg! Tom! Yeah!

you know you actually have to inform me of the charge take him lads take him out to the cars no come on come on come on please john just go with them oh sake i'll meet you at the station guys just get off

Thank you.

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Oh, it's such a clutch pickup, Dave. I was worried we'd bring back the same team. I meant those blackout motorized shades. Blinds.com made it crazy affordable to replace our old blinds. Hard to install? No, it's easy. I installed these and then got some for my mom, too. She talked to a design consultant for free and scheduled a professional measure and install. Hall of Fame son. They're the number one online retailer of custom window coverings in the world. Blinds.com is the GOAT. The GOAT. Save up to 50% with minimum purchase at Blinds.com.

Rules and restrictions may apply. No, I know they're doing their job, but I'm saying they don't like me. Yeah, they just don't like me. They're the police. Look at the cups of tea they made us. Aye, not this again. I feel yours. Mm-hmm. And I feel mine. Freezing cold. Freezing cold? Really? Come on. All right, room temperature. But how is it even possible to get two drastically different temperatures from the same tea run?

I don't know, John. I don't know. Yeah, I will tell you how it's possible. Mm-hmm. Sabotage. That's the crime here. And the motive? They don't like you. Correct. They don't like me. Yeah, I kinda see why. God, see, I'd say it's just flat-out cold now. It's not even room to... Do you want to have my freaking tea, John? Is that what you want? No! Oh, wow. Is that your shout-out list? I...

Yeah, it is. John. Well, I've been busy. Why didn't you do any last adventure? Why was it? Why was it? Oh, yeah, no, it's because I was trapped in a closet watching a man get stabbed. That was it. Shout out to Dave in Cornwall. Happy birthday to Mel in Liverpool. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, all right. I get it. Thank you.

But in all seriousness, happy birthday to Leah in South Africa and her best friend Kyra. Sorry if that's late, Leah. Oh, no. No, no, no. You're not doing this now. Well, then when am I doing it, Mary? I don't know. How about any time that you're not in a police station? It doesn't seem any time soon, does it? Drink your delicious tea. Another belated happy birthday to Savannah. Shout out to Hannah from your BFF Carissa. Happy birthday wishes from I, sir, to my dear baby cakes, Henry.

Hi. Tell your baby cakes, Henry, I said hi. No, that's not my word. It's a shout-out. Don't let me stop you. Okay, okay, okay. Can we get this figured out? I have a report I gave you guys a week ago, and we can go through it. Oh, no, no, don't worry about that. Johnny has got his precious shout-outs. No, it's really not necessary. No, no, you go on, mate. Wouldn't want you thinking we don't like you. Shout-out to, um...

To Chris Oates in California. Hi, Chris. Yep, hi. Emmett from Utah. Hi, Emmett. Can I stop this now? Are you done? Not yet. Then finish them. This feels like I've been caught smoking and now you're making me smoke the whole pack. Just do the damn shoutouts. Shoutout to Tilly, Chris and their dogs, Thor and Loki in Tonbridge in Kent.

I've actually got a very special shout out to Donovan, Donny, you can use either name. Yeah, hi, big shout out to Donny. Hi, Donny. Yep. Shout out to Beatriz in Brazil.

Shout out to Giles and Sylvia in Northern Ireland. John, I think that's enough. Maida, Ida and Paula in the Basque country. Oh, hey, no way. Yep. Okay, you can carry on. From Basque to Bracknell now. Dolly, Philip, Phoebe and Annabelle Gibb. Shout out to Silas and Roxas in Niagara, Canada. Happy 14th to Newt in Birmingham.

A shout-out to B and Birdie in New Zealand and to Rex in the US. Shout-out to A and P Adrian. Is there a shout-out to Charles Augustus Milverton in there, mate? Um, no. Why do you think that is? Because he's, um, he's dead. He is, yeah. Although...

He was never going to ask for a shout out, was he? On your little show. Because you knocked him out in a pub, didn't you? Look, we've talked about this. Everything I know, I have recorded. And you are welcome to the Royal Files. Right, John? Of course, yeah. You know it doesn't sit well with me, John. Yeah, I know. So I'll ask you again. Like I asked you last week, and on Tuesday, and yesterday, and in the car on the way over here. Did you kill Charles Augustus Milverton? No. No.

That's what you're going with, is it? Have you listened to the episode? Yes, unfortunately. Then what the hell are we doing here? You're a witness. Tom. D.I. Gregson. D.I. Gregson, you listened to the episode. Oh, for listeners? Hi, that's the previous adventure. Charles Augustus Milburn. Can you please just not record absolutely everything? Please! You're recording. This is a police interview! We have to... It's the law!

For your bloody legal rights. If we didn't record absolutely everything, I wouldn't be here. Yes, you would. You punched a man that was later found dead. You would 100% be here. Well, alright, that's fair enough. But it... This girl... There's a situation unfolding that we feel that we are best placed to solve. Adler. Irene Adler, yes. She stabbed him. She stabbed him.

What happened after that, you can tell by the audio, I wasn't there. I mean, yes, I was close. I was nearby. I saw the immediate aftermath, but I swear, Tom. Who's the killer? I don't know who this guy is. Neither does Sherlock. And that's the truth? Yes, completely. I swear. Full fat...

caffeinated, pulping, organic truth. Thanks for the rundown, but you forgot a pinch of salt, which is what I'll be taking this with. God's sake, Tom. Gregson. You think he knows Adler, this guy? Well, maybe, maybe. John. What? I think they would be understanding if we just let them in a little.

Let them in. You're hiding more stuff. I'm not bloody hiding anything. John Kent? Oh, yeah, no, I am hiding stuff. What happened in Kent? No, she means John Kent, a person. Right. God almighty. Irene Adler has stolen the drive of Charles Augustus Milverton. Yeah, heard that, mate. In between your adverts. I don't choose the adverts. Guys. The adverts choose me. Guys. Right, all right. Um...

So, on the drive, yeah, there... On the drive, there is proof that her son is the rightful descendant of the, um, you know... No, I don't know. Yes, you do. Come on. I don't! The House of Hanover. A precursor to the Saxe-Coburg-Gothas, which is...

Thanks for the history lesson, but I'm here to get answers on Milverton. She has evidence that the royal family has been paying off her son's descendants for like a hundred years because they are the rightful heirs to the British crown. Oh. Yeah. Right. So, Sherlock has got us to this point, okay? We know why she went to Milverton. We know what she took back. We know the reasons for taking that back, but...

We don't know where the driver is. Yes, but there is a plan, Gregson. I told her not to let you in. She doesn't follow orders. People at the very top rarely do. Sherlock, I'm not in the mood, alright? Neither are we. It's been somewhat of a stressful week. Our flat nearly burned to the ground. Isn't that right, team? Yes, that's right. A lot of anxiety, of panic. It does something to you, those flames. The billows of smoke. We activate our...

emergency faculties and let go of our tightly held behaviors. Something else takes control. My reaction was to get out of the flat immediately. Marianna's was to look for Archie. John here wanted to fight the fire. A very John thing to do in my opinion. And when faced with its growing fury, he made another decision. If his mind was really in control of it, it seemed like it was more his heart.

Is there a point to this? Because these interrogation rooms get booked up. I had to make an appointment for this on the office system. She will do the same. She'll do what the same? The fire will reveal all. You're gonna, what, burn her flat down? No, but we can have her think that. Why the hell would you do that? To find the drive. We will read the flat and we will take the drive. I can't get within an inch of this woman.

What makes you think you can? Because... And what then, when the gates of hell open? What then, when the darkest secrets surface? Will you take the blame? You think if she fills with panic and the boy is out of the house, she will do what I did? Correct. Wait, what did you do? I, um, I went back for Mary's music box. Right. I just...

I knew it was something that if the worst case scenario happened I couldn't replace and yeah I didn't want to lose it. This is unorthodox. Even by your standards. I will see it. I will see where she keeps the drive by a glance of her head, by a flick of her eyes, a quiver of her body language. You're certain of that? I'm certain.

We do have a show tonight, Mr Holmes. This will only take a moment, William. Yes, well, let's... Ah, the Royal Box. As you can imagine, this is the most private seating area I can find at such short notice. Seems dangerously high, doesn't it? What do you need to tell me? Also, the angle is a bit off. Why would people even want these? Watson. Sorry. So...

Sherlock, do you want to... do the honours? It's not much of an honour. No, true, true. Although I think it's a nice thing to tell someone. It's good news for most people. Yes, but not remotely in this instance. I feel, as Mr Ormstein here has made it quite clear... Will you please just tell me? William, as you know, Irene Adler took the hard drive that so many of the rich and powerful seek, present company included.

You very kindly informed us of your scandalous family history. Yes, and she wishes to sell that information, I know. Well, it would seem that that history has another few chapters. Sorry? Watson, I thought I'd be rather better at this, you know. Yeah, I see that. William, Irene had a baby, and it's yours. Um...

And I believe, well, we believe that she is going to bring some media attention to the significance of that baby, of your son, William. I mean, she might not. She might not do that, right, Sherlock? She might do what the Ormsteins have done for, well, since forever. Indeed. She could approach the Crown and demand further payments for her silence. I told her.

To kill it. Oh, alright. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's not... I told her to kill the damn thing. Hey, stop, stop, stop. We're not going to talk like that, will you? Easy for you to say. Shit! She made me do that prenatal paternity test. And I told her when we got the results. I told her I would have no part of that bastard. Shit!

She swore to me. She swore she wouldn't bring it to term. That bastard could be on every front page of every paper in the world, William. Don't you think I know that? That stupid cow. Stupid! Unfortunately for you and us, she is neither a cow and neither is she remotely in the vicinity of stupid. She can't go to them. She cannot go to the king and beg for yet more cash. A deal was made. A promise was signed on the blood of the Ormsteins.

They saved us from the Nazis. And now what? She wants to go and throw that back in their faces? Some Jewish girl is now going to spit on the memory of my father and my grandfather who fled those Third Reich beasts? A Jewish girl? And for what? For a bit of extra cash so it can be on Celebrity Big Fucking Brother? Or I'm a celeb.

Why doesn't she just go and shag some footballer? She's pretty enough for it. William! Christ. That woman has the hand grenade of the British society in her grip, Doctor. And she's about to pull the pincer. Don't fucking William me! Once again, an American woman slithers into the cracks of British nobility and breaks it all apart like some festering mould. If it's not Simpson, it's Markle. If it's not Markle, it's Adler.

You have to retrieve it. We will. Listen to me, Holmes. If you don't... If you don't, sir... Are you threatening me? I'm threatening her. She will face the consequences tonight. I don't recommend that course of action. I don't give a steaming shit about your recommendations. If she wants to play an Ormstein, then she will do what all the Ormstein women have done in the past, and that is get in line and do as you're told.

Again, I don't recommend it, Mr Ormstein. You're welcome to try, of course. Milverton certainly gave it a good go. What? And that's why Scotland Yard would like to speak to her. But you needn't worry. All is in hand. Tonight there will be a police presence in the wings, along with our colleague Mariana Ametrizola. You cannot! We won't. Not until the performance reaches its end. What are you going to do? I'm going to win, Mr Ormstein. What?

I'm going to win. To get all five parts of The Scandal in Bohemia and so much more, sign up for just £6 at patreon.com forward slash Sherlock and Co. MUSIC

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