The Norwood Builder - Part Four
37:15 Share

America's seniors talk about Medicare Advantage. I have a Medicare Advantage plan and I depend on it every day. Please, President Trump, secure and protect Medicare Advantage. Learn more at supportmedicareadvantage.com. Paid for by Better Medicare Alliance. This is what your year will sound like in the new Lululemon glow-up type. How did you do that move? How did you do that move?

That's the energy of the all-new Lululemon blow-up type. Snug above the hips with plenty of stretch through the legs for a fit that feels secure and spring-loaded. You'll feel like saying, let's do this, do just about anything. Grab your blow-ups in store or online at lululemon.com now. Why wait until the count of three?

Hear that? Spring is back. And so is Church of Seafood with eight-piece shrimp, surf and turf, or fish sandwich. Each starting at $3.99. Offer valid at participating locations. Yes, hello. Um, right. Go to patreon.com forward slash Sherlock and Co for early access ad-free adventures in full. Bonus episodes...

Your handwriting is terrible. Yeah, I'm a doctor. Munch, munch more. That's patreon.com forward slash Sherlock and Co. Previously on Sherlock and Co. Hector, we're going to get this food delivery over to you, OK? You're going to let Miss Myers answer the door to the driver. Now get a bloody move on or somebody dies!

Gwen, I couldn't help overhear the interactions of your negotiator just now. You couldn't help, could you? Hector is requesting to speak to myself and the doctor.

Your silence is very telling. It's telling you that we want information from you, not the other way round. Why did he ask for us? Because we foolishly allowed him a call to his wife. And she told him that we're re-examining the case? It's not your case to examine, nor re-examine, Dr Watson. She almost certainly did, Watson, and now Hector in there sees us as his only salvation. Wouldn't that be right, Dame Lestrade? Are we involved in this case or not?

There's ground rules. There always are with you. Welcome again to Madam Two Swords. Mr. Holmes! Hector! Oh, you've changed your mind then, have you? I have indeed, sir. It wouldn't have anything to do with me taking your gun, would it? Certainly not. Jesus! Hector, are you okay? That was a sniper. You bastards! You lying bastards!

It wasn't us! Get away from the window, Hector! Hector, I promise you, that was the police! God, Hector! No! Stop! Truth or dare, Dr. Watson? If you don't want the truth... I do want it, Hector! Then you get the dare! John! Take cover! I hear footsteps. He's closing us down, Watson. Hold on.

I've got an idea. This Nazi uniform is itchy. It must remain perfectly still. Come out, come out, wherever you are. The great detective, eh? Frozen with fear. Quite literally petrified. Oh, bollocks.

D'you know, I've got to be honest, I didn't think I'd ever have to give trigger warnings about me being dressed as a Nazi, but here it is. Welcome to the final part of the Norwood Builder. Hi, I'm John. John Hitler. No, that's... I'm John Watson. Hi. Hi. Are you here to save us? I was, yeah. But now I'm a hostage, part of the gang now.

I had a notification on my phone and it, uh, yeah, it gave us away. And now here we are. Right. Um, Hector, sorry, mate. What? Can I change out with a Nazi unit? No! Great. So how long are you visiting the UK for? Uh, ten days. Oh, cool. Great. Seven days in London, then I'm going to do a couple of cities, Liverpool, Manchester, and Macclesfield. Yeah.

What? People said I should go see Macclesfield. Who said that? Some guys I met. Right. Yeah, well, good luck with that. Watson? Yes, mate. Have you observed an escape route? Have you deduced something about our surroundings that would get us out of here? Is there a loose wall panel? Who called you? It was the food delivery. It was a message. No, your phone was ringing when Hector took us in here. Oh, it was Mariana, but Hector wouldn't let me answer. Oh, okay.

What did she want? I don't know, Sherlock. Oh, okay. Is that... is that it? You should have answered, really. Sherlock? Yes? You know Mussolini was shot? Do you know what happened then? No. What? He was so annoying that people just, like, beat up his body in the town square for a whole afternoon. That's how annoying he was. I see...

Ghastly. Something to think about. You want to beat up my corpse? Should Hector shoot me? I am keeping my options open. Would be difficult with your broken and bloody finger. Oh, what, this one? You're swearing at me again. Nah, mate, just showing you my broken and bloody finger. How very clever. Yeah, well, instead of stealing rodent bombs, did you ever consider maybe preventing your own dangerous items from getting stolen? And what of your cheeseburger, Watson? Was that worth it? To get us caught?

To turn us into hostages. I have literally spent the last 20 minutes apologising. What more do you want? I'll tell you what. When Hector shoots me, I'll make sure my tombstone says, "Sorry, Sherlock. My bad." You don't think for one moment that Hector Macfarlane would actually kill us, do you? Have you seen what the media says about this guy? He's a psycho. They say he killed a dude and ate his body.

Right, yeah, I don't... We don't know if that's true. It's true. I saw a newspaper in my hotel... Well, newspapers say a lot of stuff. What happened to your hand? I caught it running up the stairs when he brought us up here. Have you shown him? What? Has Hector seen your wound? What did I say about scheming? No scheming! We're not scheming. I'm a doctor and I'm checking her hand. You see Hector...

This bloody cut on her palm. Oh, good lord. Yes, yes, yes. Some of the blood is still oozing. Stop! Will that be all right, Doctor? The ooziness? Well, I may have to stitch it in case the wound opens up and spews out more. Enough! Do what you've got to do. And there you have it. What exactly? A plot hole in the media narrative. What are you talking about? Hector, the morning you left, you touched the club hammer and the angle grinder. I...

Yes. Yes, I did. They were planted in your path. Jonas, he... he framed me. He framed me for a murder I didn't commit. There is no murder. He's alive. He's alive. Why would he do this to me? I'm aware I'm dressed as a Nazi, so try and separate what I'm saying from how I look. But you can be a bit mean, Hector, and I think you treated Jonas badly and...

You really can't go through life being so unkind. I deserve this, do I? No, that's not what I said. Well, that sounds a lot like you said I deserve it. He's not saying you deserved it. He's saying you provoked it. Exactly. And not everything is a fight. Life isn't a courtroom where there's winners or losers. Just tone it down. I'm just giving you the truth. Thank you. And now it is time for a dare.

It's what? Giving a gunman the middle finger. That's pretty daring, isn't it? Yeah, it is a bit on the bloody side, isn't it? It's definitely broken in two places, possibly. And he's down. Well done, Watson. Well done, you, mate. We're heroes. We're bloody heroes. And now the communication from the Met Police has been quite clear that any moment now,

We will see the hostages emerge with no doubt their rescuers, if that's not too strong a word. Absolutely, Peter. I think given everything we know about the siege and the role of these two... The door is opening. The door of the eastern entrance to Manicus Swords is opening. And, oh. Oh, my God. And the two gentlemen appear to be dressed in somewhat...

problematic attire. I don't think the enthusiastic waving is helping, nor the moustache in the gentleman there on the right, on the far right, I should say. Helen, I don't know if you've got any thoughts. It's a significant moment, Peter. We can't forget that, despite everything we're seeing right now.

with our eyes absolutely significant moment incredible moment for those hostages the families concerned and everybody in fact involved in this in this siege we're going to go I'm told my producer's telling me we need to go to we need to come off these pictures these are awful

Hector MacFarlane arrived at his pre-trial hearing today with a very simple and clear message. I am innocent. He received a raucous response from those that stood outside... Sherlock and Gomer, I'm speaking. Uh, sorry, um, Sherlock, can you turn that down? The TV. Turn it down. Here, I'll do it. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Sure. Sure.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's no problem. We should have some availability next week. Sure. Okay. Great. Okay. Take care. Bye. Not that I was eavesdropping. You can. It is your business, too. But you said we have availability next week. Yeah. We do, right? We do, yes. But some of us are transfixed on this case. Right. But...

We can't solve it. You know, preaching to the choir boy. The 35-year-old choir boy who's good at podcasting. Hmm. Sure. I'm just saying. Look at him. Yeah.

Hey, Sherlock? Yes? I think it's maybe time to let this case go. They're convicting an innocent man. That's the jury's job, not yours. He hired us, did he not? Well, he hasn't paid anything, so... I was so sure... I know, mate. I was so sure that Jonas Oldacre would turn up, reveal himself, or... or... miscalculate...

But... Yeah, sorry, Charles. I don't know what to tell you. But this isn't how it should work. We revealed faulty evidence. We poked holes in their narrative. Sherlock, some things in life, they should work. And they should be straightforward...

And they're not, mate. You know, it's like washer-dryers or peel and reseal. Yeah, it never bloody works, does it? You open a bag or something, oh, look at this, a little sticker so I can close it up, keep it fresh. Oh, wait, no, it doesn't fucking work. It doesn't stick. It keeps popping back open, little crumbs get stuck to it. John. What? I'm trying to help. You are not helping. I know what will help. Now I know.

A case. Ariana, that's not how his brain works. I think I know how his brain works. No, I think I do. He's systematic. Solve a problem, move on. Solve a problem, move on. He doesn't introduce new problems until... That is not how it works. That is how it works, right, Sherlock? See, he won't even listen to this conversation until the previous thing is resolved. You're making him sound narrow-minded. I'm not. I'm just saying you can't chuck 27 problems at him and expect that...

What? 27. Ah, see? He wants other cases. Cases? Other cases? 27? S-E-27-S-E-27-0-G-T. Okay, maybe I broke him a little. There was... when this whole thing started. You were listing off cases to... to distract me from the mouse. Wait, I... I was? The...

There was a vicar. He was in SE-27-0DT. Food was being stolen from the church. So... SE-27-0DT. Watson. What? What does that mean? I'm not a sat-nav. Norwood. That is a Norwood postcode. Cornelius Kitchens is registered there. That's his business name and it...

Jonas Aldeiker lived there. The police have searched his home a thousand times. The email. From the vicar. Where is it? Er, okay. Let me find it. Er, okay. Here we go. Er, there. What? This has been going on since Tuesday the 14th. Wait, when Jonas went missing, where are you going? We have to find answers, Watson. And I believe that the answers are in the church.

Found God now, have you? Never thought I'd see the day. -Gwen. -Sherlock.

Hi, Dame Gwendolyn. Oh, er, hi. I'm quite busy, Gwen. So am I. You don't look it. You look like you're lingering outside my front door. I was in the courtroom today for the pre-hearing. OK, lovely. Can I just get past you? No. Oh, please. Listen to me. I was in the courtroom today. Mm-hm. And a security officer I know, Krishan, last week had his ear scratched out by a previous appointment.

Okay.

send Christian my regards? It was rather bloody. Well, I hope he got the medical attention he deserved. Excuse me now. Bye-bye. He didn't, actually. Why not? Because Hector did. Why did Hector get medical attention? Because when Hector saw what happened, he vomited and collapsed. What are you saying? I'm not saying. I'm asking. What are you asking? Can I give you a lift? Yes, you can. ...

This episode is brought to you by 20th Century Studios, The Amateur. When his wife is murdered, Charlie Heller, the CIA's most brilliant computer analyst, must trek across the globe and use his only weapon, his intelligence, to hunt down her killers and enact revenge. Starring Academy Award winner Rami Malek and Academy Award nominee Lawrence Fishburne. Rated PG-13. Only in theaters April 11th.

Does it ever feel like you're a marketing professional just speaking into the void? Well, with LinkedIn ads, you can know you're reaching the right decision makers. You can even target buyers by job title, industry, company, seniority, skills...

Wait, did I say job title yet? Get started today and see how you can avoid the void and reach the right buyers with LinkedIn ads. We'll even give you a $100 credit on your next campaign. Get started at linkedin.com slash results. Terms and conditions apply.

Build professional skills this semester with Adobe Creative Cloud and create standout work both in and out of the classroom. Save big on professional creativity tools. Students get 65% off Adobe Creative Cloud, including Photoshop, Illustrator, Premiere Pro, Acrobat Pro, and 20-plus creative apps. No matter what project you're working on, Adobe Creative Cloud apps can help you take it to the next level. Visit adobe.com slash student to learn more.

Okay, this is it. St Luke's Church. Let's go. Just wait. Let her park. I can leave it here. Oh. Pick of the job. Yeah, fair enough. Come on. Why are we running? Oh, we do this a lot. You get used to it. Kinda. Come through. Okay, okay. Just don't, um... This is a holy place, Sherlock, okay? So be, uh...

Respectful. Hold it right there. Sherlock, that's a vicar. Excuse me, vicar. My name is Gwen Lestrade. Yes, I know who you are. Welcome to St Luke's, Dame Gwen Lestrade. Thank you. I'm here to help you, actually. Help? With what? Your case. Crime reference number B8864209. Filed on Tuesday the 14th. Ah. And you made a request to us as well. This...

Well, we're Sherlock & Co. Like London buses? Ha! Yes! I get it! Yeah, if you could just remind us the food... The food, yes, is kindly donated by local businesses. It gets posted through our parcel door, you see. Come through.

Here. This is where it comes through. Usually the cafes that don't sell all their pastries or what have you, it comes into here. And it's gone missing? Yes, well, I thought that perhaps people had stopped donating, you see. Tough times, all that sort of thing. Of course, yeah, yeah. But I checked around to see if the church could help, and it wasn't that. They very much had been donating, as far as they were aware.

So I thought it was most likely a mouse. A mouse? Silly, really. The amount would be enormous. And it was all packaged, so it must be, regrettably, a person. I'm not the church is not looking to press charges. I want to help them. They must be so desperate to do such a thing. Could we take a look around, Vicar? Absolutely.

These scenes earlier today from outside the pre-trial hearing for Hector McFarlane and there is an atmosphere of what I can only describe as growing rage. Many believe, including incredibly the United States President himself, that Metropolitan Police armed units should have eliminated McFarlane during the Madame Tussauds siege. The Prime Minister, however, is very clear.

The diplomacy is one thing, justice is another. How's the finger? Eh, not bad. I'll be back swearing at you that's on the bus in no time. Don't do that. Keep listening to Sherlock and go spread the word. Thanks. How's your search going? Ah, not great. Just a lot of Bibles and empty seats. Yep. Not looking good, huh? No, I think...

Do you think maybe there's a crypt under here or something? Don't know. Maybe. Feels more like a Catholic thing that, though, doesn't it? Yeah. I think we can perhaps keep in touch with St. Luke's and I can arrange for a patrol car to just ward off potential thieves. Oh, that really won't be necessary. I admire your empathy, but whoever is taking this food is not the intended recipient. If they need it, they absolutely are.

I should probably... Has our verdict been reached? Possibly. Not sure right now. Okay. Good to see you again. Yeah, you too. And to meet you, Mariana. And give my best to Sherlock. Oh, where is he? You haven't seen him? No. Oh. Sherlock? Sherlock! Oh, sorry, is it alright if I shout? Certainly. Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! What? Jesus Christ, what the hell are you doing up there?

So can I take back all of that? Or does God not do take-backs? He is much more forgiving than you'd think. Sherlock, can you get down, please? Yes, I shall. There's a handy spiral staircase right here. It leads up to the clock tower. Yes, it did. Once. Right-o. You all right? Yes. Vicar, I may well have found your mouse. You have? You have? I have. I have.

From the outside, your clock tower is 55 feet. I'll take your word for that one, I think. Yet, that staircase is 44 feet. It's been some time since I've had the wherewithal to bound up those stairs, I'm afraid. Yes, well, if you did, you'd see a ceiling with a hatch. Aye, I'd see a hatch.

Is that a problem? Um, for a couple of reasons. The builder you used is in violation of the Planning Act. This is grade two listed. He can't use that plasterboard on his little ceiling. Well, floor, in his case. And the second reason is why you contacted us in the first place. Oh. Oh. Do we think he's...

Up there? Well, we can always test, can't we? What is that? It's a rodent smoke bomb. Oh god. What? Yeah, I forgot to mention this. I can have half a dozen units here in literally three minutes, Sherlock. Yes, but that's not as fun. Sherlock. There is an opening in the wall here, you see, that tracks with the stairs. And this little tunnel, almost like a laundry chute or a chimney...

Heads all the way up to the bell tower. It's a turret clock mechanism. One of its first in the UK, however. So the building was fitted with this route up the tower to run a bell rope. Should the church need to ring their bell manually. But we can use it for a different purpose. Let's just hold on a second. It's 12.59. I'd like to get my timing just right. Just right for what? Hickory...

Dickery. Dock. Oh, you're kidding me. The mouse ran up the clock. The clock struck one. The mouse ran down. Hickory. Dickery. Dock.

Catch him. On the stairs, John. Whoa, whoa, hey, there we go. Yeah, get down. A few more steps. Oh, jeez. Oh, jeez, my throat. Oh, I need some water. Here, Jonas. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Gwen. Gwen. Lestrade. Commissioner of the Metropolitan Police. Yes.

Yeah, no, I was just doing some repairs for... What was it, wasn't I? For the church, the bell tower. Don't lie, young man. Hold on a moment. You came here to quote me for some repair work? Yes, on Tuesday the 14th, I'd bet.

And he's rather outstayed his welcome, unbeknownst to you, Vicar. You're having me on here. Can you let go of me? No, no, I don't think I can. Rather nifty little compartment you built yourself there, Jonas. You're quite a talented builder to put such a thing together without drawing attention to yourself. Oh, and the kitchen at the Macfarlane's house in Blackheath. Yeah, really coming along nicely, isn't it? Oh, very much so. The Macfarlane's, your client.

They did, however, have a couple of complaints. There was the one about the tools. Yeah, you'd leave tools lying around, they said. Come on, guys, look a second. Like a club hammer and an angle grinder. And then, of course, there was the framing of Hector Macfarlane for the gruesome murder of one Jonas Oldacre, the Norwood Builder. That one...

Hmm. That may well get you a rather bad review online. Come on, though. Look, it was a joke, right? I was just pissing about, wasn't I? It was a joke. Come on. Well, at least you made yourself laugh, Jonas. It's a joke, is it? Yes, I was winding him up. Look, I'm trolling. Look at your faces. It was a joke. Come on. Hey.

Come on. It's actually not a bad joke. It's... not. I think the punchline could do the tweak though. Don't you? What? Look, I cut myself, alright? I put my blood on the hammer. And it... Yes, alright. The bloody angle grinder, I'll admit, was a bit too far.

This way? Just let go a sec. Actually, I think it's right here. Bloody hell. There's police on the door. Lovely. This is assault. This is police brutality. Are you hearing this? Coming through, gentlemen. Police brutality, I tell you. Police brutality. I can't let you in. Yes, you can, Christian. Yes, ma'am. Back of the job. Very handy.

that the defendant then proceeded to... Your Honour! A little piece of evidence to take into account. Oh, please. Please. I just... I accept it. Yeah, I took the joke too far. All right? Please. Order! Please. Order! I will have order in this court! Please! Please!

Ladies and gentlemen of the media, over the past few weeks my life has been subject to ridicule, to torment, to persecution, whether that be by the press, by law enforcement, even by the British justice system, and sadly by my family and friends. There was a time only a matter of days ago where I'd lost everything, everything, and I

perhaps foolishly, took it upon myself to regain control. In doing so, I endangered eight totally innocent people. And that is unforgivable. Unforgivable. But what I ask in these circumstances, and I will ask the same of the next jury that I face, my actions may well have been unforgivable. But were they at least understandable? And I have full faith.

that a jury of my peers will know that if the powerful forces of this nation, its media, its police, were turned against them, they too would follow in my footsteps and take up arms in defiance. My wife, Shireen, and I would like to kindly request that we are allowed to return to our life in private, in peace.

Thank you. Those words there from Hector McFarlane are quitted, of course, for the murder of Jonas Oldacre. But now facing those additional charges... Well, Archie boy, a legal precedent has been established. Yes, it has. It is not illegal to be a prick, which is joyous news for pricks across the nation. Jonas, of course, not so much. Um...

Sorry, I'm talking to the listeners now, Arch. You don't have to keep staring at me. Although I do appreciate it. The finger is fine, mate. Stop trying to lick it. Yeah, Jonas, of course, is locked up. He's stuck with the whole it was a joke shtick. Always is when you get caught, isn't it? But ultimately it seemed that he was framing Hector and was planning to run away, judging by some funds he had set aside. The revenge against his client threatening to take him to court over a kitchen obviously backfired spectacularly.

But, you know, F-A-F-O, as they say. Not sure what that means? Google it. Right, I'm going to... What was I going to do? I've forgotten.

Well, that's good. Well, here's a shout-out, while I think. Shout-out to Jenny with the cello from Catford. Hello, Jenny with the cello from Catford. Shout-out to Madiha. No idea if that pronunciation is doing that lovely name justice. Sorry. Shout-out, Madiha, making some lovely art, too. Thanks to your sister, Inaya, for showing it to me. Hello, Mr Josh. Podcast shout-out, my good friend, Taper Fade.

Great. Thanks a lot. Egg in New Zealand. Sorry I missed your birthday. Happy birthday. Shout out to Valentine, to Spencer and Noah. Shout out to Diane. Well done on painting the stairwell. Looks fab. Right. There's loads of shout outs. Sorry, everyone. But it is time to head downstairs and say thanks. Oh, forgot to say...

Got this card from Shireen and Hector. I'm on cloud wine, thanks to your help. And it's a picture of a wine glass. Inside it says, toasting to you with extra bubbles. Then, thanks for everything from Hector and Shireen. Could do with paying us, really, but glad they're knocking it back. Right, let's head downstairs and say thanks to those other two crime-solving...

People! That I work with. Come on, Arch. Let's go and see. What on earth is all that noise? Oh, he should be locked up, Sherlock. Well, I happen to believe otherwise. Why exactly? He is an animal. We are all animals. He should be in a cage. A cage? That is punitive and humiliating. He's done nothing wrong. That's...

That's not the point. Er, what the hell is going on in here? What the... There's a mouse. This is Graham. What do you mean? I named him after the pest control man. Sherlock, you can't keep a mouse. No, no, no, no, no, no, it's my fault. Graham, just back off. Graham, back off. Why does he have to do this stuff? Why?

We solve an amazing case. We've got the head of bloody police praising us. We've got the media blown away. Hostages rescued. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. He cares more about rescuing the mouse. Great. Bloody... Graham, is that you? Graham? Stop the recording. This is pathetic. Join the Patreon, please. There's lots of stuff coming. Ah, Graham!