The Three Gables - Part Two
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Okay, I have to tell you, I was just looking on eBay where I go for all kinds of things I love, and there it was. That hologram trading card. One of the rarest. The last one I needed for my set. Shiny like the designer handbag of my dreams. One of a kind. eBay had it, and now everyone's asking, ooh, where'd you get your windshield wiper? eBay has all the parts that fit my car. No more annoying, just beautiful.

Whatever you love, find it on eBay. eBay. Things people love.

We just had another Sherlock & Co. event for our members, which was amazing. And yeah, we'd love to welcome you to the team. Sign up now at patreon.com slash Sherlock & Co. Previously on Sherlock & Co. Tell me who sent you and I will. You want me to bring the mic to the Christmas party? Because you think...

What? Sorry, what exactly do you think? I think that somebody doesn't want me there. There's a potential social thing. Yeah, no, not sure. Sorry. I know, I know. You would rather watch Netflix documentaries in your pants. Yeah, you ran out, to be honest.

This particular hors d'oeuvre...

Looks like it was just for me. And now I need to track down the member of staff that thrusted it into my hand. Um, why? Why not just eat it? Because of these prawns. What about them? Look, I'd be out for nearly a week if I ingested this thing. Somebody really and rightly doesn't want you here. Yes...

And this man has the answer. Please, please, please, please, please, please. Where is he? Please. Where is Barney Stockdale? Balcony. On the fourth floor. Take me to him. Rather chilly out here, Mr Stockdale. Well, fuckadoodoodoo. It's been quite some time.

How was His Majesty's prison wandsworth? Yeah, five stars. Thoroughly enjoyed my stay. Would recommend to a friend, yeah. Lovely to hear it. I must pop by and see how some of my favourite felons are getting on. Oh, bloody hell. You think it's cold out here, mate. Wait until you get a greeting from some of those lot, let me tell you. Yes, I bet. They'll remember me well, I hope.

This is Marianna. She is assisting on this case. Hello, Barney. Hello, darling. A case then, eh? And here's me thinking we were having a little festive shindig. For the kids, of course. Yes, it's a case. I didn't want it. I didn't ask for it. I can't even charge for it. Yet, it has somehow materialised before my eyes.

Even when we wish to take time off, it's... Even when we wish to take time off? Bloody hell! Cheer up, Ebenezer Sherlock! Gun downstairs, have a few drinks, cheers to your big success, and fuck off home, eh? That's my advice. Very kind. But once I pick up a case, I find it rather difficult to put it down. Eh. You see, I may not have a client, but it's patently obvious that you do. Ha ha ha!

Right, well in the immortal words of Craig David Fill me in What case are we dealing with here? You gonna lock me up for having a fag on the balcony? Can't wait to hear this It's the case of the degenerate wanker with zero discretion and quite frankly amateurish execution

Bit wordy that one, innit? Well, perhaps you could impart a little more information on your client and I can find a better title. And no, Barney, you wouldn't make it. The lobby roof is four metres down. You look around 90 kilograms, you'd hit it at nine metres per second. That's 20 miles an hour. My regulars reported you embarking on absolutely zero physical activities during your time behind bars, just smoking and gossiping. So you're certainly not limber enough to absorb the impact.

You'd launch from your right, swing out with your left, land on both and blow out each ankle. I'd rather surmise your tibias would shoot right through your kneecaps and rupture all the way up to your femur. By the time you would come around, after vomiting, I, Sherlock Holmes and Mariana Ametsuzura here, would be standing above you asking the exact same questions we're about to now, but with a lot more leverage. So, are you ready to talk, Mr Stockdale? MUSIC PLAYS

You think it's that easy, do you? Fucking hell, honestly. To just talk to us? Yeah, it is that easy. I mean, it's a lot easier than jumping off a balcony. Is it, bollocks? Barney, I'm not leaving without answers. We all want answers, don't we? Look, our clients on our side, they aren't as forthcoming as yours, pal. Convenient for you? No, the convenience is for them, yeah? Yeah.

That's what I sell 'em, yeah? That's what I do. You want something dirty done for you, quietly, conveniently, Barney Stockdale's your man. Quite the advertisement. Are you finished? Am I finished? Yeah, too right I'm finished. Finished with you? That's a shame, as I've only just started. Question one... You think I ain't got questions either, dickhead? Ah, pa-pa-pa-pa, can we not shout "dickhead" in a children's hospital, please? Yeah, yeah, alright, Mum. Look, Sherlock.

I've got tons of questions, right? Tons of them. But I'm doing my job. What are you doing? I'm doing my job. Oh, do me a fa... No one's paying you, are they? Eh? Correct. Then out of the bloody hell is this a job? Look, I did a polite little nudge to get you to keep your nose out and you still...

You don't know what's bloody good for you, pal. That's always been your problem, son. You sent a man to beat him up, then you had a cab driver abduct us, then you tried to give him food poisoning. Done worse, love. Trust me, he's lucky. Barney is right. He knows how to eliminate someone unwanted. Exactly. If it is that distressing, and you seem to have that much respect for Sherlock, then why don't you tell us...

Who is trying to keep him away from here? Why did you try and burn this place down Barney? Why? Look, it wasn't going to be the entire place. Alright? What was it then? They just wanted a bit in the east wing of the building. Why? I don't know. This was before it was a hospital.

Who was in there? It was a big fancy ass, some old bird, I don't know. Some old bird, I don't know. What are you, a parrot? What are you talking about? Look, this ain't no elaborate bollocks, alright? Get over yourselves. Somebody wants someone else biffed off, right? But they wanted it to look like an accident a few years back, so I started a fire, alright? Job weren't done. Years go by and now they're at it again.

And they sure as shite don't want you here in case you go sniffing about. You think somebody is trying to murder this old lady? Well, I got off an hundred grand of burn down her house, didn't I? They're not exactly trying to get in her pants. They're not messing about. Could have been an insurance job. Well, yeah, it could have been. But like I say, we're not blessed with the transparency, are we? I don't get to ask questions. Hmm. You should. Hmm.

Maybe. That don't win me work, does it? Who are they? Oh, bloody hell, another bloody question. Do I get a fucking prize or something if I answer these? Can you give me multiple choice or ask the audience or 50-50 or whatever? Your choices are answer me or go back to Wandsworth for another stint. You know, you are a funny one, Shirley Temple. Always have been. Am I now?

You walk like us, talk like us, but you're working for the other side, ain't ya? I don't have a side. I have cases. I do what tickles my fancy. Oh, well.

I'm honoured to play the role of fancy tickler in this particular pantomime, sire. Now, if you don't mind... Tell us who your client is. I can't. Ugh, come on. Ugh, come on. No, alright? And it's not because I don't wanna. Believe me, alright? It's because I can't. The client ain't stupid. They have go-betweens. Yeah? Conduits. Who is the conduit? They speak through Langdale.

Langdale Pike. That's right. Where is Langdale? You might want your ear defenders, sunshine. Who is Langdale? A gossip. A what? A gossip. That's it? Well, I suppose a gossipmonger would be more accurate. A human book reference on all things scandal.

I feel like maybe I should call John. We're barely five minutes from the Three Gables. This will only take a moment. Where are they? The drag queen. The what? There. That's landed. My Christmas stockings. What do we think?

You can't have a ram it till he's binned, alright? Alright, you dirty lot. Let's play Langdale's Naughty and Niceless. Who wants to give it a spin? I will. Oh, now. It would seem a wise man has followed a certain star. Well, well, oh well. What have you got for me, wise man? Gold? Frankincense?

I would like a word. Where has that music gone? Hey, what did I do wrong? You've done nothing wrong. Nothing? Not one little thing? An inaccurate deduction, Mr. Holmes. And who is this exotic beast? This exotic beast is Mariana. Hola. Oh, I love your nails. Thank you. Thank you.

Oh, you're looking at me with those wild eyes, Sherlock. Am I now? Yes. And that means you want something from me this Christmas. That would be correct. And what would that be? Gossip, Langdale. We want some gossip. Everybody always does. Who is Barney Stockdale working for? And what is the connection to the three gables?

Now whose eyes are wild? Go to the fire exit, at the back. I'll be there in five minutes. Where'd you find him? Barney was at the Three Gables. What was he doing there? It's for an event. A fundraiser. Mm-hmm. But he was there to poison Sherlock. Stop it. Yes, you really should stop it. It wasn't poison. Rather, like the attack from Steve Dixie. It was to deter me, not to destroy me. Well...

Lay out your case, detective. My companion, Marianna here, posted about our upcoming social event at the Three Gables. Somebody, I suspect powerful, has a vested interest in a detective staying as far away from the Three Gables Children's Hospital as possible. It must be someone that knows Sherlock, that understands what he's capable of.

that the slightest thing he could discover there could expose whatever it is they're trying to hide. In 2019, Barney tried to burn it down, but it... You're nodding. Why are you nodding? Can't a girl nod in an alleyway while in conversation? You just winked. Why did you wink? Must be something in my eye. Who lived there? Barney mentioned an elderly woman. Maybe I could tell you...

Maybelly not. What? Maybe I will. Maybelly I won't. Are you drunk? Wait, shh. No. 2019 was the fire. 2018, Maybelly. Benny Maybelly. What? Who's Benny Maybelly? A British man. An apparent suicide in Rome. Fell in front of an underground train. How clumsy. Very romantic city, I find. Rome. Rome.

Rom-a? Romantic. Romantic. Of course. Wait, wait. You know this? How do you know all this? Because it's just been dormant in my mind. Let me... I... Georgia Klein. Langdale, is it safe for you to discuss them? I'm not asking about the client. What of Georgia? And Benny? I mean, I really like to keep myself to myself. You know me, Sherlock. But, uh, I suppose it is Christmas, isn't it?

They were together for three years. They met at UCL and thought themselves some sort of climate saviours. A pair of little Greta Thunbergs. Quite the picture. Protesting this and that until eventually they landed themselves a two month conviction after slashing the tyres of some oil executives. They slipped out on bail and went off jet setting

Burning all that dirty fuel high in the skies makes you sick, doesn't it? And Georgia Klein? What became of her? Well, after Benny's accident in Rome, she folded into her mother's company rather nicely. Benny died and Georgia's social righteousness died with him. The girl that sat in the middle of the A4 at 8.30 singing Kumbaya in her ASOS pyjamas...

He's now a board member at KMF. Is that the client, KMF? I couldn't possibly say. Langdale, this could be serious. Oh, without doubt. Gossip is serious business, detective. Why can't you tell us? Because my life is too valuable. I certainly think so anyway. And there's another reason, of course. Which is? He's too good. Who is? The master detective here.

I wouldn't want to spoil his Christmas and give the whole thing away now, would I? It's about information. Isn't it always? Barney was wrong. It wasn't a hit job. Mm-hmm. Something needs to be destroyed. Something at the Three Gables. Mm-hmm. The key is the East Wing. Be careful now, dashing into these things. If you get in trouble, get yourself a solicitor. I know a few.

A steer clear of Sutro Esquire and not his field. Sutro. Thank you, Langdale. Business is always a pleasure.

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Always. Always. Always.

Hey again. I thought you'd left. Sorry, no time. You can get a selfie or something later, okay? Where are you going? Just two seconds, please. Why did he say not Sutro Esquire? What does that mean? Langdale was helping us. How? Sutro is a surname. Esquire means he practices law. Hey, where the hell have you guys been?

We, um... There was a work girl. Yeah. Yeah, but come on, it's a Christmas party, for goodness sake. Night off. Of course. You're so right. How are you? How are you doing? I mean, I'm all right. All right. Nearly got dragged into the karaoke, but managed to escape. Here. Ah, hey, what are you... Oh, for goodness sake. What are you doing? I'm giving you a hug. Why? Because you're sad. Oh, well...

Thanks. Thank you. OK, done. How do you feel now? I mean, yeah, the same, but thank you, nonetheless. Hello, John. Oh, hi, William, Anita. How are you? Yeah, not too bad. Hi. Didn't we see you in Amritsar?

Amritsar, Amritsar. Err... Ooh, I can't remember... Hey, how's Empire Pod doing? No, no, you were definitely roaring past on a tuk-tuk and you were, if I remember rightly, screaming the word k. Err, well, that doesn't sound like me. Excuse us, I'm so sorry. Is your look and I just going to get a drink? We'll be one moment. Possibly two moments, but certainly no more than three.

Bye now. Guys. Sherlock, quick, this way. In here.

I have a gentleman on LinkedIn. Oliver Sutro. Okay, okay. What is he? What does he do? He's a solicitor. He works in property. Okay. This building is important, remember? Yes. For the children. But even before that... It's a small specialty hospital, Sherlock. It'll take, what, a few minutes to search that place? Let's just go in there, hmm? Wow. What?

Break into a children's hospital at Christmas during a Christmas party. A Christmas party hosted by our dear friend's bosses and owners of his podcast. Hmm. Reckless. Even by my standards. Okay, that's fair enough. What are you doing? Calling our solicitor friend. People put their numbers on LinkedIn? No.

But they leave their emails. I've just sent one and got an out of office with a number on there. Well, it says if urgent. Yes, and? Oh, okay, fire away. Hello? Hello, is that Oliver Sutro? It is, yeah, sorry, I'm actually on a Christmas break. I'll be back in the office on the 2nd of Jan.

I'm considering a private offer on a freehold, owned by one of your clients. Which client? Mrs. Marie Maberly. Right. The Three Gables Hospital. You want to make an offer on the freehold, then? I do. I'm afraid there's already a buyer. Is there now? Yes, and she's been waiting a long time for this purchase to go through, okay? Who has? Mrs. Maberly? No, no, the buyer. The buyer's been waiting for a long time.

I see. Right, is that everything? Ping us an email and I can look into it in the new year. Wait, wait, what are the stipulations? I will let you know in January, I really do have to go. Mr Sutro, this cannot wait. What is... is there something afoot? Yes, the game. The game is afoot, Oliver Sutro. Don't you understand? No, I don't, to be honest. What does this legal agreement from the buyer of the freehold demand? For goodness sake!

It's Christmas, Mr Sutro. Christmas? And I would do anything to unwrap this gift, if you could just please help me understand this block in the proceedings. Then you'll leave me alone, will you? I will. That will be my Christmas gift to you. Oh.

Right, well, you must know the buyer wants everything. Everything? Everything. Every item in the property. Nothing owned by the hospital trust, obviously, but in the East Wing there's belongings, personal effects and the like of the Mableys. Happens all the time.

Goodness, can't she just enter and remove the belongings? Well, firstly, she's not well enough, sadly. She has dementia, hence why I'm handling the majority of this myself. And secondly, the buyer will flat out will not allow it. I tried taking it out of the contract, actually, but they won't have it. The legal agreement that they've drawn up prohibits anybody from removing anything at all from the property.

As you can imagine, puts everyone in an awkward position to be honest, hospital included. I mean, I've known some aggressive bi's in my time but this really is something else. What the hell is going on? Hey! Thank you Mr Sutro and Merry Christmas to you. Ah, hey there, buddy, Christmas chum. Ah, don't you Christmas chum me. What are you doing? Was just calling family members.

Wishing them a Merry Christmas. Right. I'm supposed to buy that, am I? Oh, very much so. The mysterious family you never speak of are now getting Christmas calls. Hmm. Are you doing a case? No. No, absolutely not. Then what are you doing? Just... We were speaking to a solicitor. Ah. Yes, about, um...

The business. You were speaking to a solicitor about the business. Yes, about Sherlock and Company. It's Sherlock and Co. Co means company. When have any of us...

ever referred to it as Sherlock and Company. I did. Just then. You're on thin ice. John, it was a discussion with our solicitor. He's right. Well, then I should be part of it. Um, okay. Yeah, yeah, we can arrange. We can arrange a call. Great. Well, you missed Alan Shearer and Micah Richards doing Baby It's Cold Outside, so you're lost. Oh, that's a shame. Anyway, we need to... Do you know what? Hmm? Jingle bells. Oh,

Jingle bells? The code word. You want to leave? Already? What do you mean, already? I've been mingling on behalf of our company, our podcast, for hours. Of course I want to leave. You've been off living it up at some nearby insurance convention, apparently. John, it's not like that. I told you. OK, big fragile sticker right here. I just remember... Gary. Hi, John.

Hi, Gary, Gary, Gary Lineker. Hi. Hi. You know who I am. Yeah, I listen to the show. Hi, Mariana. Hi, Sherlock. Hello. Hola. Hola, Gary. ¿Cómo estás? Oh, estoy bien. Feliz Navidad. Feliz Navidad. John, I'm just going to, uh, sorry, I'm going to get my coat from the cloakroom. If you just, um, uh, look after my bag with Gary for a second. Yeah, sure, sure. We'll be right back.

How are you getting on? After everything that happened? Oh, I, um, yeah. Struggling. More than I thought I would. I suppose, actually, Gary. That's understandable. You heard what happened then? I did. I'm really sorry, John. Yeah, thank you. I think I'm just... I think the grief is just... I don't know, I'm having doubts about everything now. Doubts? Hmm. That old thing.

Yeah. Seen my fair share of that over my career. How do you get out of it? Well, I mean, scoring for England helps. Yeah. Yeah, I would imagine that can give it a bit of a lift. Doubt is just a lack of confidence, John. Yeah. And a lack of confidence simply means that you don't trust yourself anymore. That's kind of how I feel, yeah. I'm sad I lost her and now I feel like...

I'm losing myself, you know? Trust yourself. Let yourself grieve. Let yourself be sad. It's not shameful. It's natural. Yeah. It runs through every one of us. Trust. Like a little invisible rope. And when yours starts to slack or break, you have your friends, your family, your colleagues to pull you back up. I didn't score 331 goals in all competitions by myself, John.

No. I did it with the help of my friends. Yeah, you're right. I mean, some of those goals, to be fair, really were all me. Like, maybe twelve of them? Sure. But it was my team that mattered. And sometimes a bit of good fortune too. And a dodgy goalkeeper now and then, obviously. Yeah. Thanks, Gary. Whoops, forgot my bag.

That was close. Okay, okay. Come this way, listeners. Come, come, come. Got it? Got it. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What is that? What are you carrying? You stow Christmas costumes? We'll give them back. Where did you even get them? The festive attire of the waitstaff. They're on. What do you think? You... Yep. You look like an elf. A very tall elf. Your outfit is coming along nicely. Ah.

I look ridiculous. Don't be silly. You're a Christmas tree. With presents for feet. Why can't I be the elf? Because you're not tall enough. Oh, and what about this Santa outfit there? Not wide enough. But I took it just in case. Ay, God. Come. Down this hallway. We'll eventually reach the... Where are we? Third floor entrance. To the Elm Ward. Lovely. Surely these children are asleep.

Right? And the ones that aren't will have a pleasant Christmas visit from an elf and his... tree... friend. You know, their staff won't let us just... walk in? If they wish to chaperone, that is fine. I just need a good look at the rooms in that east wing. Holy shit, the lights have gone! They're the hallway lights, Sherlock. Yes, I know. It... They should be motion sensor. I don't understand. Let's just go back. Wait. What is that? Can't see.

In the darkness. Shit! Someone is coming down the hallway, Sherlock. What do we do? Sherlock, what do we do? To binge this adventure in full and without ads, go to patreon.com forward slash Sherlock and Co. Sherlock and Co.

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