EP. 179 : TENNESSEE - JUSTICE For APRIL HOLT (Pt. 3)
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Hello, everyone, and welcome to part three of the murder of April hot. If you haven't listen to part one to go back now and listen and then come back to this episode because we have some pretty important updates. Last week, we mention that donovan hold was set to be arrange on wednesday, october twenty third.

This was incredibly disappointing because he was facing charges of rocklin homicide for the death of his wife, a rah. And we don't think that's an appropriate charge. In the summer of twenty twenty four, don't even admitted that he accidentally killed April while choking her during sex.

But if you listen to the last episode, we gave a ton of evidence that will make you question don't have in story. We, along with countless others, believe that April holders death was no accident. So we called on everyone listening design or petition to try and get donavan holds charges increased now since the last episode aired, donovans arrangement was actually scheduled.

It's now scheduled for mid november twenty twenty four. So if you're listening before that date, that means you still have time to make a difference here. If enough people listen and share this episode and sign the petition, we can let authorities in nashville know that we're watching and that we will not accept them cutting corners anymore.

We truly believe that our voices have power, so we need to use them, and we need to demand justice for April hold. So if you haven't already done so, please consider signing the link in the description below. If don ivan is arrange on charges of reckless homicide, the maximum sends for that is just twelve years.

That is not justice. Now we will continue to give you updates as the case goes on. But in this episode, we are going to give you an update on the evidence we found in dona ines apartment.

We are also going to take a step in the ABS life talking with the people closest to her. We interviewed her family, her friends and even her children. Then lastly, we are going to talk about the legacy ea release behind and how her mother jme is going to use this tragedy to make a difference in the world. So this is the story of a rahat. I'm courtney bowen .

and i'm calling Browns.

and you're listening to murder in america.

We wanna start off this episode by talking about the evidence we gathered from donovan apartment. Now first, we want to say that we know what we did wasn't typical for true crime podcasts ers going through the killers apartment. And some of you were really upset that we did that.

Some people even said that we were completely ruining the investigation or that we were tapering with evidence, but those claims couldn't be further from the truth. Wanna remind everyone that one we did not break again, we were let in with a key. Secondly, the whole reason we were there in the first place was to get denso stuff, stuff that his mother had given him, that was all about to be thrown in the trash due to the eviction.

Then third, and most importantly, I wanted emphasize that the police were never going to search that apartment. Microsys told us that himself, at the end of part two, there are some people acting like swooped in before the police could get there, install evidence. When that's not true, the police were never going to search the apartment.

In days after we left, everything inside was thrown away. So IT was either we grab IT or IT end up in a landfill. I wanna tell you about an important update regarding the evidence we gathered after our phone call with micros.

The da in nashville actually sent some police officers to our house in houston to get the evidence we found, and they are reviewing IT now to see if I can be used in a trial. IT may not be used at all. I'm fully aware that there are rules law enforcement has to follow to protect citizens from unlawful search and seizures. And because that evidence wasn't gathered with a search warrant, IT is completely possible that what we found may never see the light of day in done of this trial, but the fact that they are looking at the evidence at all is huge.

From the very beginning April, holders death investigation wasn't handled properly. So many things were overlooked. So we're happy that they are looking into what we ve found. And honestly, we don't regret doing what we did, especially since that might actually make a difference at this point.

The entire motive behind going to see antonio wasn't to crack the case. We weren't there to try and insert ourselves into the investigation. We went there that day to get denso s belongings in April journals that Jamie dickerson, her mother, asked us to get.

And while we were there, we just happened upon everything else we found. But after seeing that stuff in domain apartment, we knew we had to at least told the police about IT. And what they did from there was up to them locally.

We did grab IT because the D A. And nashville is going through all of IT right now. Now we also want to to point out that obviously, we aren't experts and law. I made some comments in the last episode about how they should have searched on of insane tonio apartment.

I figured that after investigators found out davin had been lying to their faces for an entire year and that he did actually kill his wife, that they would have grounds to search that apartment. But since then I realized that it's true. Getting search warns isn't that easy.

However, IT is important to know that most of the stuff we found in his apartment was already missed by investigators during their first search. If you remember, donavan and April tennessee apartment was surged while he was in the hospital, but clearly IT wasn't searched very well. Investigators admitted in the committee report that they never even found the divorce papers that Jimmy said.

We're sitting right out on the counter. They also never found that love letter that was addressed to April from that inmate, which would have been in the apartment during the search. And they clearly didn't find donor age journals where he's talking about not wanting a divorce because I would just make him a money man.

All of that we found was written before April death, meaning IT likely would have been in on of in stuff when the apartment was searched. So clearly the investigators just didn't search well enough, or they would have found all of that themselves. Here is Jamie explaining how the police missed a lot of evidence, including the divorce papers that were out on the counter.

SHE had gotten the divorce papers. They were actually on the counter, which the police never collected as evidence. The divorce papers were on her kitchen counter the morning he was killed and they were bright Green.

And so when I asked, the detect is why they didn't see that. They were like, oh, we didn't see any divorce papers. They did not they obviously did not go to collect evidence.

They just went. They're to close out. The case is how I feel. I like they went there to do a partial job to say they went there that was IT, then they left.

So as you can tell by that, if the police didn't even see bright Green divorce papers that we're sitting out on the kitchen counter, they clearly weren't looking for donovans journals that we found inside of his old department. And that's a huge part of this story.

Of course, our main goal is to get justice for April halt, but we also want to expose how poorly this investigation was handled if IT wasn't for the work of Jamie dickerson, April case would have been ruled a suicide, and dona in halt would be a free man. And that personally is not okay. There was also plenty of evidence from the very beginning that April halt did not kill yourself, but no one would listen.

Evidence was completely overlooked. Corners were cut, and in the end, nal pd did not conduct a thero investigation. And it's shocking and disturbing to think of how many police departments across the states of amErica have conducted flawed investigations just like this.

Many times, guilty men and women have been let off the hook, allowed to walk free. Other times, due to sloppy, lazy police work, innocent men and women have been convicted of crimes they didn't commit, and in some extreme cases, have been executed based on those false accusations. So this is something that incredibly important to courtine. And I and I personally love the enforcement. I love the cops, but only when they're really doing the job they promised society they would do.

And we've set IT plenty of times that we completely respect law enforcement. I can't imagine having the jobs that they have, but when mistakes of this magnitude are made, we have to hold them accountable. Because if we don't to say IT won't happen again, how many other people out there have been murdered, but do the lousy police work? Their deaths are old suicides.

Like we mentioned in the previous episodes, the cops didn't even show up to apple's apartment to start investigating until six hours after he was brought to the hospital. And during that time, her killer was able to go in and out of his apartment multiple times, doing who knows what. We really hope that going forward, the police in nashville will remember April story the next time they work a case like hers.

Maybe next time if a spouse is found unconscious under suspicious circumstances, they will not only send E, M, S, but also the police, so they can start investigating right away. Hopefully next time they will conduct a more thorough search of the crime scene. Maybe those see journal entries in text messages where the victim flat out says, I do not want to to take my own life and will reconsider ruling IT a suicide.

Hopefully they will remember April case, and i'll do Better next time. Jamie dickerson told us that SHE truly believes her daughters' case can make a difference in cases going forward, and we agree. But in order for that change to happen, we have to have these conversations now again.

we really want to urge everyone listening to go sign the petition to increase domain hlt charges. He claimed that April was killed when he choked her during sex, but in the last episode, we reduce journal entries where April said SHE in donor ven, warrant having sex anymore. We also told you about the sexual assault April experienced days before her death.

After the assault, April wrote her journal about how traumatize SHE was afterwards. So the fact that it's being claimed that April was a wanting to be choked out during sex just days after being sexually assaulted doesn't add up. We believe that there was something more to this story.

All parties, once again, are presumed innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. But in a case like this, the evidence just doesn't add up. And we're desperately hoping that the authorities in nash film notice and decide to take action. When cortina I flew to tennesee, we got to dig deeper into this case, and Jamie dickerson told us about some other concerning comments donovan had made to April .

in the past. He had told April before that if he was ever leave him, that he was going to be like joe of the show.

You now the show, you has a main character name, joe, who falls in love with these women, stocks them, and in the end he kills all of them, which is pretty early.

This was something that he told my death, which he did make a police statement. He went down to the police station that made the statement. They did not take IT IT for any kind of evidence. They didn't really care. But he did go down there and .

tell them that now maybe done was joking when he made that comment about how if April ever left him, he would act like the character joe from you. Or maybe he wasn't, because in the end, just like the show, when April tried to leave, he ended up dead. April friends and family think that after he asked for a divorce and started texting other guys after he got assaulted, by that mean, n doniphan's feel that he was truly moving on from him.

So in a fit of rage, he killed her and staged her death as a suicide, a lie that he kept up with for nearly a year. Not like we mentioned in just a few weeks, mid november twenty twenty four, he will be arrange on these reckless homicide charges. So with your help, we can try and get those charges increased if we make enough noise.

So please, please, please go sign the petition and share this story, and let's get justice for April in halt. But something that Jimmy emphasize to us is that SHE refuses to let her daughter's story go unnoticed. At the end of the day, this is not a case of suicide.

It's not a case of sex gone wrong. This is a case about domestic violence. According to the national domestic violence hotline, over one in three women, thirty five point six percent, one in four men, point five percent in the us.

Have experienced rape, physical violence and or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime. That statistic is scary. It's also horrifying to think that in the last week of April, life, SHE was assaulted by two men.

First, SHE was sexually assaulted by fluid Thomas junior, and then days later, he was murdered by her husband. And SHE deserved Better than that. April was a beautiful and compassionate human who touched so many lives in her twenty nine years. SHE made the world a Better place in her absence has left a huge hole in the hearts of all who knew her, including her friend Kelly Young.

I'm Kelly yang. I'm actually best friends with April. Outside, morons like a little sister grow with her.

We were originally from florida and came to ti. Nesi with Jamie is her mom matches. My mom is best friend. April was seven years old than me so I was the little girl that was to run around her and just always want to do the thing he did wanted to be just like her like shell says, um be the be the girl that little girls look up to and which is crazy because I was a little girl that always looked up to her. So he really didn't know that the whole time he had a little girl looking up to her.

That was me. I asked Kelly to describe April, and this is what he said .

I always used to say to April, that I would describe her as soft, because everything you would touch or the way you would talk and everything. He was very just mellow and loving, and SHE is just a very comfortable person to be around and very energetic at certain time. He is outgoing, loved attention. SHE was love ever, nails done, and all the girl things that we all love. We did a lot of things together, and one of our favorite things was probably to go to talk of ball late night.

Now, since kEllie and April were so close, Kelly got to know dawn of in halt as well. Here's what he had to say about him.

My impression of donovan in the beginning, he was always a little off, but he only would, I feel, would gravitate towards me out of the family, all three of us, I think, because me in April were so much like in all our jokes and so like that. So he felt like he could open up. But that was always weird when I would come around.

Sometimes I couldn't hang out with her or I could hang out with her. He had his days where sometimes IT was nice, and other days that was just, you know, domine in his mood. So you don't we really don't want to talk, but think over.

I thought he was more obsessed with her than I won't say he envied her. So I didn't see a new thing coming. I was shocked.

I remember one time we had churched the next. The next a day was a saturday night. We had stayed out late. We were actually talk bell, and we just like to drive around, listen to RMB music and, you know, just chill.

And we came home away and remember the next morning, April didn't come out of the room yet, but don't have come out on the room while was he woke me up and was sitting on the edge of the couch. And he was like, so tell me what happened last night and I saw, we just seen, I wrote around a talk bell and nothing out of the ordinary. He said, well, you know, i'm necessarily think that's what happened and he said, so i'm gonna go head in, kick, roll out.

So I found that a bit. Od, and I was like, you know, I was a kid at the time. I was scared. I just never talked to April as I was going on.

And he ended up going into the room with April and then coming right back out, sitting back down and looked at me with a smirk and saw, i'm just kidding and I always found IT a little weird because when you're confronting me about something and i'm Young, but I was just his dominie and how huat IT was just a look in his eyes that was just always felt weird in April would tell me stories of how she'd know how to deal with davin and if he wasn't in love. And I think IT was a comfortable relationship, I don't necessarily think that IT was a they were in a love relationship. I do believe that IT was mainly like comfortable ly. And I don't see that the love that was verified ted on his side.

Kelly was never a big fan of donovan. But that's just how life goes. Sometimes, sometimes your loved one's state, people who you don't really like. But over time, donation pulled April away from her friends and family. Kelly and April loved ones were concerned, but they never could have imagined the outcome that came on july twenty nine, nine, twenty, twenty three, a day that Kelly will never forget.

That was in manchester to to see I was going to five below actually and I got a phone call from my older brother who was in florida. He found out the news before I did and he let me know that they just reaching post that April was gone and we didn't know the true story of what was going on. So I ended up getting into contact with one of April cousins.

Her ding is Kelly also and SHE. Let me know that not a lot of information was out, but I was getting a lot of attack from other people, saying that he was found by her son lives list. That was all I heard until about two weeks later, I actually say the funeral. I found out somebody had said that was this the first time he put his hands on her? And that's when the curiosity started jump in, and I started talking to jami and the family more, and I found out what really happened when .

investigators ruled April death, suicide. Kelly knew with everything in her heart that they remain a massive mistake.

I knew IT wasn't a suicide. April is not suicidal. Actually, he would always help people that were suicide and try to steer them away from any unsettling thoughts.

April was very just. SHE loved life. SHE loved everything that was coming to her, building up a new life.

SHE loved her kids, her family also. And he just wasn't a type of person to think that that was her only way out. SHE would talk to somebody SHE had any thoughts .

of the kenley .

was also a huge support system for jane after April death. In fact, when Jamie was given a gag order forcing her in the silence, Kelly started her own tiktok, where SHE continued spreading the word about April case .

when Jamie fed her first gag order. This was after he went on tiktok. I ended up making a page just for APP er hole and I went into more depth about everything that was going on in all of the injustice in the case that wasn't being told in that Jimmy couldn't tell I would post every day and make sure that his face, donny and holds face was on the page because that was something SHE could not talk about but always let know information that was that maybe anybody could forget about, that was reset and always let them know that this wasn't a case of suicide, that was a case of domestic violence, that was being silence and needed to be talked about.

We asked Kelly what he hopes to see out of this case, and this is what he said. I'm .

definitely hoping to see that he gets the full justice. I want to see first degree murder. I do believe that IT was may not have been premeditated at the beginning, but I do believe that IT was premeditated the end, because you don't drug your love one into a bathroom. April was SHE won't heard to fly. So I know that that this isn't what he deserves, and SHE deserves the highest that he can out of the justice. I just think that if you are in a domestic relationship or if there is any signs, even from the beginning, that that is your sign to go ahead and get out because everybody who was surrounded by April loved her tremendously, and she's not just a best round to certain people. SHE was a sister to me, and IT sucks not having that person here with me when .

he should be here.

I miss her a lot. Um that was the only person I have for twenty one years, twenty two years. So not having her is sucking, but I know you wanna wanted see me, her or anything.

Kelly was the sweetest girl ever, and her comments at the end there really show you just how loved April holt truly was. Now, we actually conducted these interviews at April grandparents house, which Jamie said was her favorite place in the world. In fact, in the kitchen, all of the cousins wrote on wooden cooking boards that were hung on the wall.

April hung hers up shortly before he passed IT red quote, nana and pop s house. My favorite thing about nana pop s house is that regardless of the address or the state on how older I get, nana and pop house will always be my home. It's the place where I know I am always welcome no matter the time of day.

It's the place where I learned how to walk and talk in love, is the place where traditions were made, the place where I played and laughed in the place where I shed the most tears. It's the place where I learned my abb, in the place where I learned real life. It's the place I visit, even in my dreams, because consciously ends up consciously. I know this is my safe place. It's the place my most precious memories reside, and my heart will always thrive. A few of my favorite memories, playing with shaving cream at the dining room table, being trapped in the house for days during hurray es, the home cook meals always made with love, getting on the roof to put up Christmas lights, playing office music lessons with pots and pans, trying on my first wedding dress, bible studies and nanas prayers, making the clay platypus with pop coffee with every meal using my first tooth summer day spent in the pool until her toes blood my best birthday pop is singing case or raw, my forever home in my favorite place on earth and quo now, getting to do these interviews in the very place that April loved so much was special. We looked at pictures of her sitting in the kitchen, others of her in the backyard with her children, who was a very peaceful home, and you could almost feel her presence there.

For the next interview. Corning, I SAT down and spent about an hour with April s children.

serenity and denzel, my name is, and we, our April s children.

I asked them to tell me a memory they had with their mom, and they said this.

there's this one time when we once this park, I said, mom, that you can get in that chair. SHE got in the baby thing he got, we had a car death to come get her out. SHE tried getting out, but SHE almost flipped on.

I would have to say, probably like one day he was on the swing. One day he was on the swing at my land and and I said, if you can on my, if you can, if you'll jump off the swing and land on your feet with their hands, i'll give you twenty dollars and he did IT. But then, but then he like what he said with my twenty dollars up, I actually didn't have the twenty dollars. So I kind of just read that he actually try to catch me.

We ask them if they had to describe their mother in one word. What would that be?

Incredible, I would have to say.

Credible to the zell told us that if he had the perfect day, this is what IT would look like.

I would say probably to like go with my dad, with my sister and my mom. So I go to universal. I would want to go to universe.

So my mom was really like the person that would go on the customer. So I would say like I wouldn't say this in way, but I would say you go on the baby rise and have fun. You don't really want to go. So I think that's what I we asked them what .

they miss the most about their mom, and serenity said that was her voice.

her voice. I would have to say what SHE used to call me all the time. He used to call me booty all the time. I don't know why, but he used a call that all the time. I thought I was. But I also like when he would do IT in public, I thought I was so embarrassing because he he would just rather than say, in front of people was the. All time, and my dad would come you that too, which which was also, and he will take in front of my friend.

Next we asked, if your mom was here right now, what would you say to her? Serenity said this.

I thanks for not giving up on me because I was little, but I was born. I was tiny. I was given like a six percent chance of living about ten or six.

And he said, let my dars survive. Take me. I started take both of us and just live. Yeah, i'm grateful .

for that. Said this, I .

probably lying on her back and SHE scraps i'd all cycling SHE had put me on my bed and then go to the .

couch right after his answer, then switched IT up and said this .

I would like in about thirty to an hour, I would say, like, I would bring a shelfer and I would like bring my mom. I would ask her, like, what where I agree? Can you realize yourself somehow? So then I would dig her up and I get her out of the great.

And that somehow surprised? Yeah, I would ask here, you could come back to life. He would be as hard by then. SHE would still be nice probably.

I mean, this truth, and I thought that was such a child like answer at that age, trying to understand death is hard. Denzil clearly sees how his mom's death has affected everyone around him to cheer everyone up. He said he wishes he could digging up and real live her to surprise everyone.

Now we didn't ask any of the hard adding questions like what did also saw that day his mother died, he in serenity had already been through so much, and we are definitely not qualified to ask those kind of questions. So we decided to keep IT light. And in the interview there on a happy note, unlike we mentioned before, after April died, sarenne was immediately put in therapy, but donavan refused to put the zell in therapy, likely because he didn't won his son opening up about what he saw that day.

But now that he lives with Jimmy, he's finally getting the help he deserves for this upcoming year. Jimmy is going to home school ham as he's adJusting to this new life. And together as a family, they are all going to try and heal from this horrible tragedy.

Now, after interviewing, surrenders and dense l we went back inside and we got to meet April and don oven dog rocco. He's a pocket bully and he's the sweet of little dog in the world. He is so cute.

Now, trigger warning. This next part involves animal cruelty. But as we were painting him, we could help but notice the dog had a huge scar on his back. James told us that rocco had gotten that scar after don ivan allegedly hit him with a metal pipe. Luckily, after don haven's arrest, Jamie now owns rocket and he's in good hands. But from here we started interviewing Jamie once again, this time in person, and SHE talk to us about how he hopes her daughter's case will make changes with law enforcement .

going forward. Somebody calls nine one one, and there is a spouse in the home, and that other spouse is not breathing automatically. The police should have been called out. There should be no question. They should be there within minutes.

They should be called out the exact same time, just like if you had a car student truck, they should be called out immediately, because any kind of evidence that they would need would have been there right then. We don't know what happened in the six hours prior to the cups getting there. We don't know what happened in the three times on them and went there.

We don't know any of that, that all the cops never collected any video surveilLance from the apartments inside, outside. Nothing, nothing. He was collected.

No neighs were talked to. Not one neighbor was even talked to. I still don't have much fail in this system that i'm about to go in, sit before I have to sit in the courtroom.

I pray that the support that I bring with me and a judge and the trial as IT goes through, that they will see that this is this is more than what they are saying, that they need to actually do their jobs and look at all the pieces this time and stop disregarding everything, and also have been knowledgeable enough to know when somebody can tell a story and make up the sexual choking. And all that took is five seconds for him to look up. What can I say to her that if he does tell, will get me less charges? IT takes two seconds to figure that out. Jamie also hopes .

that there can be some sort of training for police officers when going through these investigations, like how in her daughter's report, the detective said April had been looking up suicide websites when in reality there was a car reposition .

site for you to come up with the site title for a site that is not an existence. And IT just painted a picture of somebody that my daughter was not. I think they should be using this as a case file that they can now look into for future reference and how not to do things and how to Better the system.

They should know how they should search into a case, and they should be first flit into as a homicide and then into a decide. They should never be suicide first, then homicide that should not exist. How many people have not gotten just this? How many moms right now? How many dads?

How many people are out there in this world that we do not get justice and now they just walk free among us and and we do not know who they are. They're not gna wear a title. I don't wear a bage.

There's nothing saying that this person does this right, wrong thing. And IT is up to us to make sure that our system is held accountable for their they do not do their jobs and they need to be held accountable. I think that people are scared to the system, but that system is posed to work for them.

And if it's not that, you need to stand up against IT. So I want to make sure that we are able to change policies, procedures, get the charges increase to what they should be and then just give hope to other families. Like if you hear closed, case doesn't mean closed, that just means you are at to work a little harder to get what you want over to what you know, what you've gott tells you follow that and don't give up that. That's what my hope is for everybody.

Like Jamie said, her next fight is to increase these charges. After that, there isn't much more SHE can do. Her fight will be over, and our legal system will have to take IT from there. I can only hope that they'll do their job and get true justice for April holt. As for the trial, we ask jammy what the best case in ario and worst case scenario are.

Best scenario is that we can get our charges of reckless homicide changed to first degree murder, as well as we can get child endangerment put on there. Because right now we are looking at in the worst case, theo, we have two d fines and one sea which can possibly be six to twelve years which my April hold has gone forever SHE doesn't have any ears. She's got zero years.

Um so I don't see why somebody else be able to get to walk for in six years and just get to live a life when hers was taken. Her I have to live an entire lifetime without her. Her children live an entire lifetime without her, all because of somebody's poor decisions and because of anger, frustration or whatever the mental illnesses we have to live with that decision that someone else has taken from us and and took from her. SHE would still be here now.

regardless of how the trial plays out. Jie says that at the end of the day, he has to forgive on event for what he .

did as the mother of who he's taken from me. It's very hard to have that kind of forgiveness, but i've had to learn that forgiveness for me. I can Carry the weight of all of that.

And one of the main things Jamie wants to focus on now is healing for her and her family.

trying to find time for myself to start this healing processing. Because during the fight, which is still going, this fight is still gonna be a long growth that could be a year or two hours of trials. But the big part that the first initial part, and knowing that now he is behind bars, I can start to focus on some healing in myself.

So that's exactly what Jamie will do. But over the last year, she's also felt .

a calling in the conclusion, I would say, of everything that's gone on over the past year at the very beginning of the grief process, I didn't understand how you can brief the loss of a child. I think that it's something you don't prepare for. There's no rule book, there's no training.

And how will you grieve if you lose a child? Because usually apparently passed away first. And so I didn't know how to process those emotions in my best way of doing that.

I was writing them down. And so journal lane, just like April to journal every day, I decided i'm good in journal. So for the first thirty day, for the first thirty days after SHE passed away, I wrote a book called grim through Grace. And IT is literally a guy to the grief journey after the loss of a child or a loved one. And so IT just goes through the process of what it's like and that it's OK to not be OK.

And you're going to have good days and bad days, and you can sometimes look into, and this is just in my first thirty days, being able to look into something that such a tragedy and still find beauty in the life that he had the twenty nine years that I had with her. Being able to find those memories and dig those up helped to me with processing. And so that is where this book came into existence.

You couldn't find IT anywhere online, but it's just grieving through Grace, just finding that Grace that god can give you to, to walk yourself through this process. Something that I have focused on greatly is her journals. They are her words, her thoughts.

A lot of time he would get down. But I had taken just a page of her journalist. I put IT in my book when just read that short journal, al, entry to you. So this is from April words.

And he says, what is my purpose? My purpose is to be the best version of myself. My purpose is to be the best expression of who I am.

My purposes to teach others and show them a new way. My purpose is to love on people. My purposes to help and heal people.

My purpose is to let god's will shine through me. My purpose is to share a message, to share my thoughts, knowledge and vision. My purpose is to connect with people's ls. And SHE said, it's called soul talk.

And so when I read things like that, I know that he would be so proud to be able to know that her words are still impacting others in a positive way. The her words literally impacted me as her mom. I might have raised her, but SHE still teaching me.

I'm still learning, even from her, from the grave, of how we can just invest ourselves into others. And so I will take those words with me forever, and we will. Her legacy is going to live on in a bright way SHE.

I always tell people he was such a bright light, you know, for everybody, if he walked in two room, SHE was a bright light. And I want to make sure that that's going to live on and IT won't be dimmed. Ed out, it's gonna shine brighter than he could have ever imagined.

We will be linking her book in the description below. In part one, there were hundreds of people who commented in message us about jami's journal, where he wrote about bearing April in her mismatch socks, and everyone said that that part made them so emotional, and that came directly from her book. So everyone go and support Jamie e by ordering a copy for yourself.

But something else that Jamie is very passionate about is a vision that god put on her heart. You see, following April death, Jamie was devastated. Not only did he lose her daughter, but the police weren't investigating her case properly and at times the grief was all consuming.

And when someone s family is rocked by tragedy, there's not a role book on how to live without grief. Jimmy found herself sitting in bed for days on end. Well, the entire world goes on without her. At time, SHE felt alone, like no one understood what he was going through.

For all those people, that artist in their bed, if they got in public, they feel like everybody around them doesn't understand. Because I was that person at first, like when I go to a store, I would smell the smell rose. And that was April favorite smell if it's a roses. SHE was her favorite tent. And so be crying and hobby lobby.

And I would be like, oh my god, I is just remind everything's a trigger and so when you're going through such graef like that, you tend to feel all alone like you're walking in a tunnel and everybody around you is just everything still going on yeah, everything in everybody's world is the exact same and yeah, they all feel bad for you and they all are sorry for you. But now you are almost like, just, well, that's April, mom, that's going through great. Ef, I think there's a title SHE lost her daughter to murder or those are the kids that have no parent. You like everybody gets this title of sadness and i'm like, wait to in IT like we gotto keep our light on like we're not done, god said so that's when .

god gave her the vision to open up a grief center in nashville.

top of this book. We are just now funding for a grief center and it's going to be called grieve with me. And the reasons for the grieve with me title is that we we have a children's book that we are currently publishing and it's called grieve with me and serenity, a rose daughter actually helped in writing that book.

And so I wanted to name the grif center after something that would be a legacy to her children and that her spirit gets to live on. So this grief, sn, is going to be a place of piece of hope. It'll have a youth center. We'll have a longer where modems or dads or anybody grieving can just come and sit and be.

I find the one thing that I talked to, many parents that have lost or I lost a child or if you've just lost a loved one, the one thing that they're looking for us, just that moment of calmness, just a moment to just sit there in, do absolutely nothing, but just being their own thoughts are just too bright. I color, it's not so crazy, but I color or drug because it's just thai tic for me. But being able to have that moment, I want to be able to offer that to people that don't have that in their homes, but they can just come and they can just sit and drink a cup of coffee.

And then I want to have grief, art therapy, so you can express yourself. So being able to express yourself through art is a way of taking emotions that are otherwise locked inside of you and being able to express them out worthy. And so that will be another focus of the grief center.

There will be support groups. Everything will be free resources. So IT isn't on profit. We are funding for that currently. There is nothing like that in our area.

As we looked for ourselves and for our grandchildren, there has been nothing in this area of that sort. And we want to be able to offer that to all of the community. All ages doesn't matter how told you are, we want to have resources for you.

What a beautiful idea. Jami's grief and are grieve with me is going to help out so many people around nashville. And how amazing that she's turning this tragedy into something that will make the world a Better place.

We have made a donation to Jamie's grief, and her and SHE still needs help with funding. So if you feel cold, we will be linking her girl on me below. We will also link her amazon registry, which is full of items that will make her grief center feel cozy and welcoming to everyone that comes in on the registry. There are things like blankets, coffee mugs, books on grief, art supplies and so much more, all of which will help her vision come to life. We are so happy that Jamie has been called to do this, and we truly believe that this center is going to change lives.

Jamie also told us that she's really felt called to help others in domestic violence situations. So after her daughter's SHE created these little ziploc baggies that he will leave out in public, inside of them there's a picture of April, a dragon and flight charm, and a card that reads .

the following. This dragon fly is a memory of our daughter ter April t, who died at the age of twenty nine from domestic abuse. This is your sign to get out or help someone get out.

If you are, they are in a domestic violence relationship and are trafficking. One in four women will be. One in seven men will be abused.

And at the bottom, I give the help numbers of eight hundred and seven, nine, nine and seven, two, three, three. There are safe places to get out. And so, um this is the other thing that I am doing.

I leave these and I leave a little dragon fly because that is just what means so much to me. And so it's a just a little imprint. And this catches their ica glider.

So we leave these on tables at restaurants. Whenever the holy sphere says, hey, leave. Wine might just be on a shelf in a store. But rest is especially, uh, we want to make sure that people know that there is help available. You can get out safely, do not be scared.

There's also a national sign, and I don't know, most people know IT, but you can literally just put your salmon and close your hand like this. And so I want, not only my children are relational, if more people knew this, somebody puts that sign behind their back that you can get them help. And so it's the simplest signs that people don't know them. So education is key to being able to help others. And so that's my other area of just important that I that I focus on is just education and just getting people getting the word out.

And the reason he chose to put a dragon fly charm in the baggies is because every time Jimmy visits April grave, dragon and flies come to visit her and to jammy. That's a sign here. Some footage we got from when we visited April grave with Jamie and where he told us about the dragon and flies.

So the the very first time I came out here after he died, there was blue dragon flies. And I was like, i'm not really a dragon fly person. I like that kind of scary to me.

But then I was like, main and out sitting out here, and we were sitting up here somewhere, the grave, that the headstone wasn't here yet. And I took a long time to get the headstone because I was so big that head to get IT from. So we were sitting up here.

IT was like, here, and we were sitting here and I was just hovering and we were like, okay, so I looked IT up. And i'm like, he says that blue dragon flies are like a sign of peace. I was like, I just love that so I went home and I drew up my own.

It's kind of dry today, but I couldn't drew up my own dragon flies of like me and April and sides like we're going to. And I went, I just went to attack two shop and decided this is what I was gna do. But now whenever we see dragon flies s there's can fly. And like it's it's like our reminder, like is here with us.

And James actually goes to April grave. Pretty often. SHE and her family will give flowers and little trinkets and decorate IT depending on the season.

I always come up here to me. My sister actually come and change IT versions and put new things out here. My grandparents SHE buried here too.

But there I got here, and she's got the huge great. Yeah, somebody actually sent IT to me off of tiktok. They contacted me.

They're like your grave blank. And I absolutely IT used to be really great and has like the kids in the back with her. Yes, Kelly painted her. The man made for her birthday surrenders matter of phone because he said, SHE can't call her mom. So we actually come here quite about.

I asked Jamie, how would felt visiting April grave and he said this.

you know, I want to be honest, I find peace in IT. I'm sad. I I spent so many hours crying, but I come out here because it's peaceful. It's my closest way to be to April before he was buried. Ed, here, I came here with my parents. And what we live in or not, this is weird, but like two months prior to heart dying, and they were like, we need to fight a spot for grammer, because grammar has got dementia.

And so we actually parked over there, and the owner of the grave that came out, and he was just explaining all these things, and his dads buried out here, and and then I saw this big tree, and I was like, mom, this is just like, peaceful. And so we picked a spot from my grandma, and my mom was what we just buy two. And I was like, okay, if you want two spots.

so. We bought to not knowing that one would actually be for April. And I think, god, a lines thing.

So that's he knows like this isn't something that I would be able to handle. And so even at her cemetery had a graveside cemetery, and IT was literally like five minutes. I said, pray and put her in the ground. I can't handle anything more. So I mean, this place was all lined with cars like the whole place.

Jimmy also said that April children, serenity, ity and dense l have mixed emotions about visiting their .

mom's grave. He doesn't not like to come here. He gets stomach. Dell loves to come here and he takes a dout takes so like when we're doing all these falls flowers, he will go and find a grave and that looks like they're not been loved on.

And he puts all the flowers on the graves that look like they have been visited. So some of the flowers that are around here, he is actually transported. And you will running around and be like, this one needs love and he takes them.

So when falls over, he'll come out here and he will helps me redistribute to the ones that need love. Sorry, came here for her birthday to open her presence. Like SHE said, i've always opened my presence with my mom. My mom has not messed my birthday.

And so like for her birthday, SHE came in that here and sh'll bring her presence and open them here just and she's even like to be at the grave, but she's like, I want to be with mommy and so there are certain things that are just, you know, where just my whole family comes here all the time. My older sister comes and SHE does the seasonal change. And so it's just a special place.

I don't look at IT as a negative because I know where he went. It's a sad thing, but it's not a negative. And like she's actually a much Better place .

than all of us. We're gonna get April justice. I know we are we're we're never gonna stop fighting .

until we get IT. So in the correct justice would be great. I'm glad we got here before the sunset, I know, but the mosquitoes will each you alive out.

I know I here one day, and I came out here raiford. I was at church and I came out here after the rain. I swear, I probably had thirteen the sky to bites, like, up and down my life, like, okay, I have to leave. Funny, but .

not but. And that was the end of our trip to when I first came across April story in october of twenty twenty three. I truly had no idea what was ahead, but I am eternally grateful for crossing paths with Jamie dickson.

SHE is so inspiring and truly the strongest woman I ve ever met, and SHE clearly raised her daughter to be the same. Like Jimmy, April hold was a beautiful person, someone who dedicated her life to inspiring others. And in the end, that's exactly what he would do.

April holt story will change lives. I know IT changed mine, and i'm confident that her story will change the way that law enforcement handles cases of domestic violence going forward. And maybe there is someone listening right now, which story sounds awfully similar.

If that's the case, we want you to know that there is help available. If you are experiencing domestic violence, the national domestic hotline number is one, eight hundred, seven, nine, nine, seven, two, three, three. If you are in a situation where you can call, you can also text them to get help. All you have to do is text the word start to eight eight 88。

We want to thank you all for listening to this three part series on a case that means so much to us. And again, please share these episodes on your media and sign the petition so that we can get justice for April in halt. And of course, we will be giving you updates on donovan holds trial and how everything plays out. But the links to everything we mentioned in this episode will be in the description below.

Hey, everybody, thank you so much for listening to the conclusion of our series here on April holt murder. This has been a wild ride up and down. We've listened to everybody and listen to everything everybody said online. Thank you to everybody who has supported us for our efforts here to try get some justice in this case.

But it's going to be interesting to see how all of this plays out, especially with the stuff that was collected by the police to be delivered to nashville to see if they're going to be able to use that. What then means anything and everything dealing with the story. If you like the show and you want to help support what we're doing here, you can join us on patron, on patriot.

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Also make sure to follow us on instagram at murder in america, and you'll forget to leave us a five star review on whatever service or platform you're using or listening to the show on once again. Don't forget to go sign the petition. Don't forget to help us share out April story, and we will give you guys some more updates when we figure out what's going to happen. But anyways, thank you all for listening. It's calling here and all catcher on the next one.