TDS Time Machine | AAPI Heritage Month
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That's right, people. We've got our own month. And in honor of AAPI Month, I'm gonna teach you about the most underrepresented demographic of all time. Asian Americans in sports. And I don't just mean the heavy hitters like Jeremy Lin, Michelle Kwan, Tiger Woods. Yeah, we're claiming him. You got a problem with that? Take it up with the UN.

Instead, I want to focus on the underdogs who blazed the trail for all the other Asian American athletes to come. People like Wally Yonamine, the Japanese-American who played not one, but two professional sports. And unlike Michael Jordan, he didn't suck at one of them. Also, he never became a crying meme. Why are you sad? You're Michael Jordan.

First, in 1947, Yonamine became a running back for the San Francisco 49ers. But in the wake of World War II, he faced a ton of discrimination, even while he was playing. When he would get tackled, the opposing team would punch and kick him. Do you realize how insane that is? I mean, it's football. Everyone's going home with brain damage already. You don't need to force it. After a wrist injury in 1951, Yonamine decided to switch to baseball.

He moved to Japan to play for the Yomei-Yuri Giants, where he was an 11-time All-Star and became the first American player ever to be inducted into the Japanese Baseball Hall of Fame. Crazy thing is, Yonamine faced racism in Japan too, but this time because he was American. At games, the fans would chant, "Yankee, go home!"

which is normally something you expect to hear only at Red Sox games. Or, honestly, any place in Boston that serves alcohol. But enough about baseball. Let's talk about something people actually watch: the Olympics. In 1948, Victoria Manalo-Drez became the first AAPI Olympic champion. But being Filipino, she also faced a lot of discrimination. In fact, when she was younger and she used a public pool, the town assholes would drain the water after she swam in it.

which isn't just racist, it's idiotic. You're going to double your water bill just because you're afraid of catching being Asian? You can't even get that from a pool. You have to share the same straw, dumbasses. But against the odds, Manalo won her gold medal in the women's three-metre springboard, and she was cheered on by diver Sami Lee, the first Asian-American man to win an Olympic gold medal. That's right, the first two AAPI gold medals at the same Games.

It was like Asian Christmas, which is just Christmas. But not every Asian who broke the color barrier had a happy ending. In 1948, Larry Kwong became the first non-white player in the NHL when he joined the New York Rangers. But they only put him on ice for a minute, and he never played in another game again, which sucks.

But breaking the color barrier is like losing your virginity. Even if you only did it for a second, it still counts. Another great first happened in 1927 when Walter R. Chu became the first person of East Asian descent to play in the NFL. Because his last name was R. Chu, he earned the nickname "Sneeze." Sadly, this was before athlete sponsorships were a thing, so he couldn't even get that sweet, sweet Kleenex money. Eventually, he retired from the NFL to compete in a safer sport.

Wrestling, proving that Asians can roll around without balls in someone's face just like everyone else. But let's move on to my personal favorite sport, basketball.

The first non-white player of any race in NBA history was Japanese-American Wataru Misaka. In 1947, he was the first draft pick of the New York Knicks, and they even promoted his skills to sell tickets. But shocker, he faced a lot of anti-Japanese sentiment and only ended up playing three games. It was so bad, he decided to go back to school to get his engineering degree,

which I respect. He was basically like, "Oh, you don't like me being Asian? Well, I'm gonna be extra Asian now, bitches." But sports isn't just about the athletes. There's so many other people who've made history without destroying their joints. People like Kim Ng, who became the general manager of the Miami Marlins, making her the first female GM in any major American men's league. She worked her way up the ladder, facing racism and sexism.

It's the surf and turf of discrimination. So now you know. There's been so many unsung Asian sports heroes in history. Don't bother thanking me. My meager teacher salary is thanks enough. And yes, this is all gonna be on the final. All right, all right, settle down, everyone. Because today we're learning about something that's blowing up all over the world. No, not climate change, okay? I don't teach boring stuff in this classroom. I'm talking about K-pop. It's why your cousin suddenly speaks Korean more fluently than English.

And believe it or not, K-pop used to be something that only Koreans knew about. The rest of the world wasn't always into it. Like how there was a time when white people didn't know about yoga. The first group to really break through internationally was the Kim sisters. Sukja, Eja, and Minja started singing as children during the Korean War for American GIs. They sang, they danced, and they played 20 instruments. I can't even name 20 instruments. Saxophone, the...

In 1959, they got a contract to perform in Vegas. Ed Sullivan was taping a show there and they managed to book a performance on the show. There was such a hit, they got asked back 20 more times. Do you know how great you have to be to get asked back to anything 20 times? I don't even get invited to join LinkedIn that much.

Unfortunately, the growth of K-pop hit a bump in the road soon after, when South Korea fell under the dictatorship of President Park Chung-hee, who started banning music. They even created blacklists of songs that radio stations couldn't play. Everyone's end-of-year Spotify summary just said, "Your most played song was the national anthem."

But Korean artists kept making music that challenged the status quo, like folk singer Han Dae-su, whose albums were banned for anti-government messaging. Or rock guitarist Shin Jong-hyun, who, the story goes, defied the dictator's request to write a song in his honor. And let's face it, wanting a song to be written about you is classic dictator behavior. Right after military parades and having a weird haircut, everyone tells you looks great.

By the 80s, the dictatorship had loosened. And by loosened, I mean the dictator was assassinated. But whatever, it made listening to the radio fun again. Outside music was allowed back in the country, and two of the most influential genres became hip-hop and R&B.

Black artists from Michael Jackson to run DNC reshaped the musical landscape of South Korea. It inspired performers like Deuce, DJ DOC, and Sir Taegi and Boyz, who are the earliest examples of K-pop as we know it today. They even made it into the movie soundtrack for Three Ninjas Kick Back. You didn't think we'd be watching a movie in class today, did you? Yeah, well, I didn't think I'd still have a hangover. But sometimes life surprises you.

This was a big moment for Korean pop music, even if the song was being played over a scene set in Japan. But give them a break, okay? They're the three ninjas, not the three cultural sensitivity experts. The next big step towards today's K-pop was in the 1990s, when major music studios started putting performers together in boy and girl bands. That's right, Korea was doing that long before Simon Cowell's nips ever started poking through his t-shirts. That's a no from me, dawg.

It's no surprise this new wave of K-pop blew up around the world. It featured complex melodies unlike any other pop music and always had next level dance choreography. To this day, those remain the signature elements of K-pop. That and being Asian. Very important requirement.

This new generation of K-pop stars became so successful, the government started to take notice and soon launched a program to promote Korean music around the globe. They saw K-pop as a way to boost Korea's cultural strength and economy without having to do a squid game. But one of the biggest K-pop sensations was a surprise no government could predict. I'm sorry, I know it took you 10 years to get this out of your head, but we gotta talk about it.

Gangnam Style was the first video to break a billion views on YouTube. It was so popular, UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon praised the song, saying the arts was the path to cultural understanding. He said that about Gangnam Style. That's like if they played Baby Shark during a war and all the soldiers started laying down their weapons and hugging each other.

Since then, the rest of the world is more into K-pop than ever before. From girl groups like Girls' Generation and Blackpink to artists like CL. But let's get to the group you've been waiting for. The reason you all enrolled in this class in the first place. BT mother ass. Three letters so important, the rest of the alphabet doesn't even exist anymore.

They've dominated the charts. They've generated billions in revenue. They made it okay to eat butter again. They even increased tourism to South Korea. I mean, I'm glad my fans aren't that devoted because then they'd have to travel to Australia, which, trust me, you don't want to do that. BTS is without a doubt the biggest group in the world. You can tell by their fans. The BTS Army is the second largest military after the US, and they've drawn zero weddings.

BTS might be on hiatus, but there's so much new K-pop we can enjoy while they're gone. And now you know how I got to where it is today. Oppa Gangnam Style! Now it's in my head again. Get it out. Get it out!

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Again, genesight.com for more information and to move forward on your journey to mental wellness. Hello, class. Thanks for coming. Although you really had no choice since if you don't come to school in America, your parents get arrested. Today, we're going to learn about some of the great Asian veterans in U.S. history because Asians have served in the U.S. military for almost as long as America has fought in wars, which is basically the whole time.

America loves war so much it wants to have its babies and then send those babies to go fight in the next war. Anyway, first up is Augustine Feliciano, who fought in the War of 1812, which happened in... Let's see here. Leticia's guy doesn't actually say, so nice going, morons.

Feliciano was the first Filipino to serve in the US Navy. But before he sailed with the Navy, he sailed with pirates. That's right, American history has Asian veterans and Asian pirates. I'm blowing your freaking mind today. What's next? Asian werewolves?

No, that's beneath us. Let's fast forward to America's Civil War. The first one, not the one currently happening every day in your Twitter feed. The Civil War is where Chinese American soldiers began to make their mark. Of the roughly 200 Chinese Americans living in the eastern U.S. at the time, 58 of them served in the war. That's 58 out of 200. Can you calculate the percentage from that number?

It's easy. You just cross out the zeros, you move the decimal point over, you flip the whole thing, you multiply by 100, and you plug your phone and use a calculator. Math is easy, especially for me, a teacher. One of the most distinguished Chinese Civil War vets was Joseph Pierce. He rose in the ranks to corporal, the highest rank of any Chinese American in the Union Army, which I can also relate to because I am the highest ranking Asian at The Daily Show, though sadly I do not have as many confirmed kills.

And yeah, there were white soldiers in the 1800s who were taking orders from an Asian guy. Because those guys were #allies. And they didn't even need to brag about it on Instagram. Alright, Julia? We get it. You taught your dog Cantonese.

But not every veteran got what they deserve. Edward Day Cahota was a Chinese immigrant adopted by an American ship captain who fought in the Civil War and then served for another 26 years. But get this, America still refused to make him a citizen. Can you believe that? I mean, this guy risked his life in the military for almost 30 years. Most citizens never do anything close to that. They automatically get citizenship just by getting pooped out of their mom's butt.

That's right, I threw in some sex ed for free. You're welcome. Let's move on to World War I and one of his greatest Asian American heroes, A Laosan Ki. He was a runner, which means he ran messages to the front line all while dodging gunfire and flamethrowers. That's right, this guy risked his life to send messages. I hope this makes you grateful for texting. In fact, I wish this was still how we had to send messages. You probably think twice if you had to run across a battlefield to give someone a picture of your dick.

Now let's turn to World War II. We saw Asian American heroes like Daniel Inoue, who fought in the 442nd Regiment, a unit made up completely of soldiers of Japanese descent and one of the most decorated regiments in military history.

During a combat mission in France, Inoue escaped death when a bullet to his chest was blocked by two silver dollars. Try doing that with Bitcoin, you crypto bitches. Daniel Inoue is why I carry two silver dollars in my breast pocket at all times. Wait, where are they? Oh yeah, I got that vending machine coke. Okay, nobody shoot me until I can get to the bullion exchange.

Even after his military service, Inoue went on to serve 50 years in Congress. So congrats to him on finding the only job worse than combat. But maybe the biggest Asian badass to come out of World War II was Captain Nieves Fernandez, a Filipino school teacher who became a guerrilla warfare fighter and led a squadron that killed over 200 Japanese soldiers. You hear that class? School teachers can become guerrilla assassins. Do not mess with us!

Ow! God damn it! Sharp. The last veteran we're gonna learn about today is a living legend. And not how that term is usually used, like if your friend Jake wins a stupid flip cup tournament. I mean an actual legend. Tammy Duckworth. She served as a Blackheart helicopter pilot in Iraq until 2004 when her aircraft was hit by a rocket-propelled grenade. She lost her legs and partial use of her right arm. For her sacrifice, she was honored with a Purple Heart.

I don't know why it's purple. I guess whoever designed it was a huge Prince fan. But her service didn't end with the military. She went on to become the first Thai-American woman and disabled woman elected to Congress. She also became the first woman to bring a baby onto the Senate floor. Although it definitely wasn't the first diaper. Those dudes are old as shit. So class, in conclusion, from now on, when you think of Asians in American history, don't just think of railroads and that .

guy from Breakfast at Tiffany's who isn't actually Asian. Think of Tammy Duckworth, Lao Tsing-Ki, and Nieves Fernandez, who kill-built half an army. Speaking of which, I gotta go tend to this neck wound. Knowing how cheap these school districts are, I probably have lead poisoning. Class dismissed.

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American Public University, where service members like you can access high-quality, affordable education built for your lifestyle. With online programs that fit around deployments, training, and unpredictable schedules, APU makes it possible to earn your degree no matter where duty takes you. Their preferred military rate keeps tuition at just $250 per credit hour for undergraduate students.

and master's tuition. And with 24-7 mental health support plus career coaching and other services, APU is committed to your success during and after your service. Visit apu.apus.edu slash military to learn more. That's apu.apus.edu slash military. Are you still quoting 30-year-old movies? Have you said cool beans in the past 90 days?

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