Trump Tariffs Send Markets Plunging, Penguins Waddling to a Trade War | Scott Glenn
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You're listening to Comedy Central. From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central, it's America's only source for news. This is The Daily Show with your host, Michael Kosta. Yo! Whoa, I love this audience. Welcome to The Daily Show. I'm Michael Kosta. We've got so much to talk about.

America is on the operating table. Penguins are marching to a recession. The stock market parties like it's 1929. But the thing everyone's talking about now is Trump's big, beautiful tariffs. So let's get into the latest. My favorite word. My favorite word. Tariff!

Yesterday, Donald Trump announced sweeping tariffs across the entire globe. Asia, South America, Narnia, Arendelle, Wakanda, Bachelor Nation. If you can imagine it, Trump slapped a tariff on it. And today, the reviews came in.

Carnage on Wall Street. Markets falling, tumbling. Stocks plunging down, down, down. The Nasdaq's getting crushed. Small caps are getting crushed. This is a shock to the system. It is ugly out there. Worse than worst case scenario. Stocks are getting slashed and burned. Two and a half trillion dollars vaporized.

$2.5 trillion vaporized. Your kid's college fund disintegrated. Your 401k given the death penalty. Your pension waterboarded in Guantanamo. Those stocks your nana gave you 20 years ago accidentally stepped on a landmine while vacationing in Vietnam.

Economists say we could be on the verge of a recession, so things are looking scary right now. But don't worry. The only thing the president is better at than negotiating is speaking soothing words of comfort in times of crisis.

We have heard from President Trump. He took to Truth Social, wrote this. Boy, I feel so much better now. You know, I mean, always reassuring when the surgeon comes out screaming at the top of his lungs, the patient is fine! Everything is going great! Does anybody have a mop?

The thing is, the patient didn't need major surgery. We just needed a teeth cleaning. Keep it clean and shiny. No one wants to wake up from heart surgery to their dental hygienist shouting, "I think he's gonna live!" Also, the patient is gonna be... bigger? Was the surgery a penis enhancement?

If so, what kind? Was it latex injections, scrotoplasty, ligament extension, ventral phalloplasty, a fat transfer to enhance girth? I mean, I think those are the options. I don't know.

Now, look, you could argue that it's bad that my retired 78-year-old mom is polishing up her resume now, but to Donald Trump, it's all worth it because we're correcting a grave injustice. President Trump says the higher penalties come in response to tariffs those countries impose on American products they import. Reciprocal. That means they do it to us and we do it to them. Very simple. Yeah.

Yeah, it's very simple in that it is simply not true. All right? The reality is that the numbers on his board are not the tariffs other countries are charging us. They actually represent the trade deficit between the U.S. and those countries, meaning we buy more stuff from them than they buy from us. I'm just going to repeat this. Those numbers don't represent the tariffs. No.

They represent that we buy more stuff from them than they buy from us. That means we're basically punishing other countries for selling us stuff that we want. This is like me going to John Varvatos and beating the shit out of him because I like his socks. Why don't you ever buy my socks, John Varvatos? I don't make any socks, but that's no excuse.

But that's really what's going on. It's not actually about tariffs. It's about other countries not buying enough of our stuff. Although Howard Lutnick, Commerce Secretary and cologne sponge, had another way to put it.

I mean, the European Union won't take chicken from America. They won't take lobsters from America. They hate our beef because our beef is beautiful and theirs is weak. It's unbelievable. They won't. We can't sell corn to India. We can't sell rice to Asia. Yeah. Yeah. Although I'm not sure tariffs are the reason we can't sell rice to Asia. Yeah.

I think they figured rice out about 10,000 years ago. Now, if they want to add aroni, well, then let us know. We got that figured out. By the way, Europe's beef is weak? I'm sure that's not true. They famously have a running from the beef event where the beef tramples people.

You know what? I'm not too concerned about Donald Trump not understanding how his tariffs work because he's Donald Trump. He doesn't understand how to make money running a casino. The important thing is that there are adults in the room like Scott Besson, Treasury Secretary and college dean who understands that boys will be boys. That guy's going to have the answers we need. What do you expect the stock market to look like when it opens tomorrow in reaction to this? I don't know. Should we view these as permanent tariffs?

Again, I think we're going to wait and see how this plays out. Do you plan on having negotiations before that date? I just don't know if they're going to be negotiations. Canada and Mexico notably missing on that chart. Why is that? I'm not sure. You know, I have a question. Do you know anything? Why are you out here doing interviews? It's not very reassuring to have the Treasury Secretary of the United States going, uh, uh, uh, uh.

You know what? Maybe they can't give us clarification because there isn't clarification. We just assume they have a good reason for imploding the economy because why else would you implode the economy? But then you uncover something like this and you realize, I'm not sure they even know what they're doing.

Yeah, yeah. We put a 10% tariff... We put a 10% tariff on an island that only has penguins? Yeah.

Trump would have been better off tariffing that island Tom Hanks got stranded on. At least it had one guy in that little volleyball he was f***ed. Is this a mistake? Look, I know old people butt-dial strangers all the time, but this is the first time I've heard of someone butt-tariffing an entire country. For more on these tariffs, let's go live to that uninhabited penguin island with Grace Kuhlenschmidt. Grace, thank you. Thank you.

Grace, hold on. Wait. Grace, hold on. Why are you dressed like a penguin? Because I'm a serious journalist, Michael. I wanted to embed myself with the locals to get the real story. And that's why I disguised myself as a penguin and learned their culture and made it with the hottest one. The hottest one? But every penguin looks the same. No, they don't all look alike, Jordan Klepper. Wait.

Okay, point taken. But, Grace, I'm sure your reporting has shown that putting tariffs on the penguins is ridiculous. Well, at first, I, too, thought that Trump putting tariffs on this uninhabited island was a sign that he had suffered brain damage. After spending a week here in negative 11 degrees and drinking lots of seawater, I totally see where he's coming from. The penguins are taking total advantage of America. We buy all their skins to make tuxedos. But have they ever...

any fish from us? Okay, why would they buy fish from us? They're on an island surrounded by fish. Yeah, but our fish comes in stick form. My grandfather was a fish stickerman. These penguins are the reason he lost his job. Also, he got me too'd. Plus...

Plus, America makes a lot of other things penguins don't buy. Soybeans, natural gas, grenade launchers. Okay, look, penguins don't need any of that stuff. Oh, why? Because they're too stupid? No, because they don't have thumbs. Well, they don't have thumbs while they're f***ing me either, but they're doing that perfectly fine. Okay, okay, Grace, okay. I think you've been in that suit too long. Why don't you just come home? Costa, I have a family of penguins to look after.

They just got eaten by a seal. I'll be home tomorrow. Well, Grace Kuhlenschmidt, everybody. When we come back, we discover the next generation of hacks. Don't go away.

Today, teens can download any app from app stores, even ones parents don't want them to. Congress can change that by putting parents in charge of teen app downloads. That's why Instagram supports federal legislation requiring app store parental approval and age verification for teens under 16. Three out of four parents agree they should approve teen app downloads because giving parents control helps keep teens safe online. Learn more at instagram.com slash parentalapproval.

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Plus,

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after mile. So outlast every adventure and outlive the moment. Buy a Tundra or Tacoma today. Visit buyatoyota.com, Toyota's official website for deals, or stop by your local Toyota dealer to find out more. Toyota, let's go places. Welcome back to The Daily Show. It's no secret that journalism is in a state of crisis, but in this new media landscape, new stars are emerging every day. So to find out who some of them are, we go to Jordan Klepper in our new segment, News to Meet You.

Tonight, we highlight a journalist who has quickly established himself as the new paragon of the free press. Chief White House correspondent for Real America's Voice, Brian Glenn, who recently made a name for himself when he pressed Ukrainian President Zelensky on a matter of global importance. Why don't you wear a suit?

Why don't you wear a suit? You're the highest level in this country's office, and you refuse to wear a suit. Thank you! Thank you! Finally, the questions that matter. Now, most lamestream reporters would never dream of asking a question like that. They'd call it stupid or unnecessary or Jesus Christ, Brian, the man's fighting for his country's survival. What kind of f***ing question is that? I don't know.

You know, that is not Glenn's style. And if this was your first time hearing about Brian Glenn, then good sir, you need to accept your uncle's Facebook friend request. Glenn got his start in Dallas, Texas, where he honed his craft covering the most dangerous stories. All right, do I just jump in? One, two, three. Just invite me to go dance. I'm gonna jump up here real quick.

Good morning. Everybody follow me. You can see we got some dance moves here now. This is something that you're obviously, I have, there we go. I like this one right here. Out here in the stables this morning as these horses are enjoying some breakfast. And you know what? I am ready for some racing. Yes. Now there's a man who knows how to dress appropriately for work. Take notes, Zelinsky. It's right here.

Glenn has proved time and time again that good journalism comes down to grit, heart, proximity to horses, and above all, costumes. I'm kicking these shoes off, but I may keep the pantyhose on. It does feel kind of good, actually. Wow. Wow. What courage. What bravery. I mean, dressing in drag in Texas. I mean, reporters haven't put their asses on the line like that since Saigon.

So, naturally, it was only a matter of time before Glenn was hired by Right Side Broadcasting Network, which is as legitimate as it sounds. And it was there at RSBN where he combined his love of human interest stories with his hate of most of human beings. Liberal women tend to be some of the ugliest women I've ever seen.

And I'm serious. I mean, zero makeup. Well, they are men. Well, they want to be men. They take no pride in their dress, their attire, their makeup, their haircut. Half of them look like men. Hairy armpits, hairy legs. Come on. That is not embracing what it means to be a woman. Wow. I love hearing about women's looks from a guy whose general vibe is sunburnt divorcee who's no longer allowed at his kids' t-ball games. Yes.

You know what? There's something here. There's something right here people don't want. Spin, they want reporters to deliver unbiased, fact-based, hard news about which voters they bang. And it was these hot takes that brought Glenn all the way from the campaign trail to the steps of Air Force One.

Yeah. Ryan Glenn's questions are so good, they're actually just statements.

You know what? It's all a clever setup, like a hunter setting a trap. Butter him up and then hit him hard. Show them how it's done, Brian. Let's talk about your polling numbers nationally. You're just crushing Biden. It continues to go up. Thoughts on that? He just said, I'm crushing Biden in the polls. That's true. I appreciate that question. Thank you, Brian. Thank you very much. Oh, oh, oh. Whoa. Oh, amazing reportage. Yes.

The way you know you're speaking truth to power is when power tells you, what a great question. It's like if Frost Nixon was just Nixon. And these days, Brian Glenn is showing he'll chase down a story no matter where it takes him, from the streets to the sheets. Brian Glenn from Real America's Voice, he is the boyfriend of Marjorie Taylor Greene. There you have it. Marjorie Taylor Greene, thank you so much for joining me today. And I'm sure I will see you a little bit later.

Okay, I'll see you later. Oh! I'll see you later for the sex. Man, can you feel that erotic heat, you know? Oh, violating journalistic ethics by not disclosing you're sleeping with the politician you're interviewing is wrong. I don't want to be right. I mean, think about this. Think about this relationship. What does Marjorie Taylor Greene hate most in the world? Jews, maybe. But...

Right after that, reporters and drag queens. And Brian Glenn is both. You know what? That's... that's the power of good journalism. It doesn't just change minds. It changes hearts. So kudos to you, Brian Glenn. You went from embarrassing yourself on local news to embarrassing all of us on the national stage. But, hey, at least you wore a suit.

I'm Jordan Klepper. Good night, and seriously, good f***ing luck. Thank you, Jordan. We come back. Scott Glenn will be joining me on the show. Don't go away, Jordan Klepper.

Today, teens can download any app from app stores, even ones parents don't want them to. Congress can change that by putting parents in charge of teen app downloads. That's why Instagram supports federal legislation requiring app store parental approval and age verification for teens under 16. Three out of four parents agree they should approve teen app downloads because giving parents control helps keep teens safe online. Learn more at instagram.com slash parentalapproval.

Bring spring to your door with Target Circle 360. Get all you need for Easter hosting, spring get-togethers, and more with unlimited same-day delivery through Target Circle 360. From Easter basket goodies to fresh florals, getting everything the same day is easy. Open the Target app and bring the magic of the season to your door with unlimited same-day delivery through Target Circle 360. Visit Target.com slash Circle or the Target app for more details. Subscription required. Same-day delivery is subject to terms. Applies to orders over $35.

Here everybody, it's your favorite play cousin Junior from the Steering Warning Show. The Toyota Tundra and Tacoma are designed to outlast and outlive, combining raw power with precision engineering. All backed by Toyota's legendary reputation for reliability. Climb inside a Tundra and experience the uncompromising strength with its available i-Force Max engine. The Tundra delivers exceptional power, torque, and towing capacity. Plus,

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Welcome back to The Daily Show. My guest tonight is a legendary actor who makes a surprise appearance on HBO's The White Lotus. Please welcome Scott Glenn. All right.

I love you. I love you. They love you. They love you. Look, White Lotus, your character doesn't jerk off his brother, but he is a great mystery. How did you prepare for Jim Hollinger, this character? The first thing I did when they offered me the part was I turned it down.

That's what I've been doing wrong this whole time. I just finished a film called Eugene the Marine that was tons of martial arts and dancing and shit like that. It was basically about ageism and how you deal with it when you're old and still have a lot left in the tank. They sent me a description of this old guy with a cane and I thought, f*** that. I don't know.

But I watched the show. So that night, Carol, my wife, and I watched the show. And inside probably 15 minutes, I was sucked right into it. You know, I think I want to be a part of this deal. So I talked to Mike the next morning. He said, you play a guy who's lived in Thailand straight for 50 years, off and on for 60 years, and has amassed a fortune. How do you think he got it? And I know Thailand pretty well, so...

I just started doing that and looking into it. For me, the heavy lifting and the fun of acting is pretending that I'm getting ready to do the part. So I thought, so I thought years ago, Marlon Brando taught me that every

Every language has a rhythm, every country. So he went back and forth between German and Japanese without changing the pronunciation of words, just changing the rhythm. And all of a sudden, he was German. Then he was Japanese and back and forth. So I thought, how do I find the rhythm of Thailand? I know I'll start at the sort of white belt, bottom line,

bottom rung learning something called Kirby Kerbong, which is two short swords, martial arts, and something called... So now you got weapons up. There you go. To get ready for your acting role. I always do that. And he does... I haven't seen all of the... I mean, I haven't... I don't know what's coming, but Jim Hollinger, the character, is not a sword fighter. No, no, no. So, no, no. So why are you using swords to get ready for the act? Because I figured... Is this why I haven't booked an audition?

-Maybe. -Maybe. Yeah. -No, I just figured that in learning the traditional martial arts, where you're going, you start to learn the rhythm of the place. It's just a way of me making excuses to have fun and learn something. -I love that. That's sweet.

He's a mysterious character. We don't know if he killed the dad, if he's Walton Goggins' dad. What can you tell us? Or are you acting right now by not giving it away? I can tell you to stay tuned. Stay tuned. All of your characters have an intensity, and I f***ing love them. I mean, the right stuff. Look at that. Bourbon cowboy. Look at that, huh?

The hunt for red October I I get the sense that you have an intensity off screen as well in your life. Is that true? No, no. I mean martial arts with knives. You've already told us used to race motorcycles open water spearfish ice climbing skydiving. What is it about this stuff is acting just just a little the ease of the safest thing you do.

The first time I ever jumped out, I was airborne in the service, but it was static line jump. So the first time I ever free fall, did skydive, was with a four-time world champion up in Idaho.

And we took the doors off of Cessna, went up, got out in the strut, made the jump. When I hit the ground, he came down after me. He ran up to me. He said, quick, without thinking, what's the most fun you've ever had in your life with your clothes on? And I said, opening night off Broadway. LAUGHTER

But I love this. I want to do it again. And we did three more jumps that afternoon, but driving back to catch him, he said, your first instinct was opening night off Broadway. And I said, that's way scarier to me than if I jump out of a plane and everything goes south, it'll be over like that. Right, right.

Opening night for me in any theater, but especially off-Broadway when you're as close to the front row as I am to you right now, I always throw up in the afternoon. 15 minutes before I go on stage, I say, why the am I doing this? I get paid more than 10 minutes of doing a TV show. And then maybe 30 seconds before I go on stage, the real truth.

is I'm a huge phony. I have no idea what I'm doing. And tonight, the whole house of cards is going to fall in front of all those people out there. They're going to find out what I've always secretly expected. It's that challenge and that intensity that makes you feel alive. I just figured it out, man. I think you're right. I think I'm right, right? Um...

You know, we're not the same generation, and I love talking to men of a generation older than me. So I have a few questions for you just to help me, okay? One, I love riding motorcycles, but I have kids now, and my wife is like, I've got to stop riding motorcycles. And I said, Scott, how do I have this conversation with my wife that this is when I feel alive when I'm driving motorcycles? What do I say to her? Tell me right now. Go. I'm going to do all of my riding on tracks from now on.

Oh, so now I got to go motorcycle track. Yeah. All right, well, I'm going to hear what she says, and then we'll have to bring you back, and we'll tell you what she says. Is it safer on a track? I guess it would be safer, because I'm not going to hit a deer or a car or whatever. The worst place to be for real is traffic. Right.

Shit, I think that secures it for me. You live in Idaho. Yeah. Not a lot of actors live in Idaho, and you've lived there for a long time. Yeah, 45 years. How has that influenced your work? Does it? Was it important for you to not be in L.A. or New York? I'm from Michigan. I love when people in show business live somewhere else. I love that. Whatever minor talent I have, I get from stealing...

behavior from people. I can see real behavior in a truck stop in Idaho. In LA, everybody is a slash. I'm a gas station attendant slash screenwriter. I'm a waitress slash TV star.

There's nothing to steal from those people because they've slashed it to pieces. Yeah, that's a great answer. I love that. Lastly, in the White Lotus, there's a spectrum of men with issues that are complex. They're seeking revenge. They have depression. And I just, you know, I feel men right now.

are struggling. There's the male friendship recession. Depression rates are high. This part isn't really funny. Suicide rates are high. I'm very curious. I love the masculinity you portray, but what are your thoughts on men today? What can we steal? What can we learn from an older generation that would help us? Never pay a tariff. Okay. All right. We'll take that for whatever it means.

The season finale of White Lotus airs Sunday on HBO and Max. Scott Glenn, we're going to take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. Thank you, Scott. That's our show for tonight. Now, here it is, your moment of sound. This is all great news for Detroit, in my opinion. Did that come up for discussion last night? No, we talked about that in the Oval Office a little bit, but no, dinner was awesome. It was weirdly so awesome.

Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch The Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount+. Paramount Podcasts.

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