cover of episode The Secret Power of Siblings

The Secret Power of Siblings

2025/5/13
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Michael Barbaro
知名新闻播客主持人和记者,主持《The Daily》播客。
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Susan Dominus
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Susan Dominus: 我从小就对家庭文化差异如何影响孩子及其未来发展轨迹非常感兴趣,并以此为职业。通过研究,我发现兄弟姐妹的影响比我们意识到的更为深远,甚至超过父母的影响。父母可以发射野心和奋斗的箭,但兄弟姐妹会帮助这支箭瞄准方向。孩子们在成长过程中会试图找到自己的定位,如果一个兄弟姐妹在做某件事,另一个兄弟姐妹可能会朝不同的方向发展,或者他们的父母可能会推动他们朝不同的方向发展。在有资源送孩子去上各种课程的家庭中,更容易看到差异化。在不太富裕的家庭中,虽然没有那么多的差异化,但有一种同样强大的力量在塑造着兄弟姐妹,那就是溢出效应。当一个兄弟姐妹表现出色时,年幼的兄弟姐妹往往也会表现出色。溢出效应也可能产生负面影响,不利环境和创伤会对年长的兄弟姐妹产生负面影响,进而也会对年幼的兄弟姐妹产生负面影响。兄弟姐妹效应具有深刻的政策含义,如果能够提高年长兄弟姐妹的学业成绩,那么对他们的投资将更有价值,因为这会对整个家庭产生连锁反应。父母对孩子的影响力有限,试图控制兄弟姐妹之间的复杂互动就像蒙着眼睛下棋。兄弟姐妹关系中的竞争和对抗是可以管理的,但不能完全控制。我的哥哥帮助我找到了我的职业方向,我非常感谢我的哥哥。 Michael Barbaro: 我们的兄弟姐妹以一种看不见但又出人意料的强大方式塑造着我们的生活。

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Parents try everything to influence their children. But new research suggests that brothers and sisters have their own profound impact.

Susan Dominus, a staff writer for The New York Times Magazine, discusses the surprising ways that our brothers and sisters shape our lives.

Guest: Susan Dominus), a staff writer at The New York Times Magazine covering a broad range of topics. Her recent article was adapted from her book, “The Family Dynamic: A Journey Into the Mystery of Sibling Success,” which was published by Crown on May 6.

Background reading: 

For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily). Transcripts of each episode will be made available by the next workday. 

Photo: Artwork by Kensuke Koike

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