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cover of episode 6 Ways to Use My “Let Them” Theory to Improve Any Relationship

6 Ways to Use My “Let Them” Theory to Improve Any Relationship

2023/11/13
logo of podcast The Mel Robbins Podcast

The Mel Robbins Podcast
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Mel Robbins
一位专注于领导力和个人成长的著名_motivational speaker_和播客主持人。
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Mel Robbins："Let them"理论的核心是：当有人做你不喜欢的事情时，就"让他们"去做。这是一种简单的技巧，可以帮助你减少焦虑和挫败感，让你把时间和精力放在自己身上。它并非放任他人，而是让你停止浪费时间和精力去控制无法控制的事情，从而更好地掌控自己的人生。在家庭关系中，运用该理论，关键在于让你从旧的动态中解脱出来，不再试图成为家庭和事佬。你之所以成为家庭和事佬，是因为介入冲突能让你摆脱内心的不适感；真正的成长在于学会接纳这种不适感。八卦是人际关系中的一种粘合剂，但要区分八卦和解决问题。为了维护家庭关系的和谐，应该拒绝参与八卦，而专注于解决问题。接受父母的现状，停止试图改变他们，可以让你从旧的家庭动态中解脱出来。停止参与家庭中的戏剧性冲突，可以为家庭成员创造不同的相处模式。每个人都会对你产生看法，无论他们是否了解你，关键在于不要被这些看法所困扰。婆婆对你的职业选择持负面态度，可能是因为她担心你的财务状况，而不是真的否定你。婆婆对你的负面评价，可能源于她自己未实现的梦想，你的成功触动了她的内心。运用“Let them”理论，你需要从婆婆的负面评价中解脱出来，并展现真实的自我。改变与婆婆的关系，需要同时做到两点：让她表达自己的观点，同时展现真实的自我。 Daniel：在家庭关系中，我过去总是扮演和事佬的角色，现在我开始尝试抽离，不再试图解决所有冲突。虽然这让我感到不适，但我意识到这是成长的机会，我需要学会接纳这种不适感。 Jennifer：我最近辞去工作，追求写作梦想，我的婆婆对此持负面态度，这让我感到困扰。 Aaron：我成长在一个充满虐待的家庭，过去总是努力取悦他人，现在我想改变这种模式，专注于自身。 Liz：我父母因为父亲的赌博问题陷入财务危机，我感到非常焦虑。 Mimi：我和前夫同住一个屋檐下，他持续对我进行精神打击，我感到非常痛苦。 Eva：我想帮助我的丈夫运用"Let them"理论，减少他对他人评价的过度关注。

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Chapters
Mel introduces the 'Let Them' theory and shares her personal story of discovering it during her son's prom.

Shownotes Transcript

Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a way to not get so annoyed or frustrated with the people that you love?

There is. 

It’s called the “Let Them” theory. Mel discovered it while arguing with her son about a taco stand, and she hasn’t stopped using it since.

She first explained the “Let Them” theory in a 60-second reel on Instagram. 63 million views later. The verdict is in. Everyone loves the “let them” theory.

Today, Mel is in the studio, taking your calls live and teaching you 6 ways to improve any relationship with the “Let Them” theory.

In this episode, you hear Mel cover topics like:

How to handle a mother-in-law who is not supportive.

Feeling left out? Good. You need better friends.

Why moving in with your parents is better than living with an ex.

What to say when your sibling wants to gossip about your mom.

Why being the family peacekeeper creates a war inside you.

How to stop being the “fixer” in your relationships.

The truth about addiction in a family and the role you need to play.

Why your dad’s gambling problem isn’t yours to fix.

How rescuing people robs them of the problems they need to face.

What to do when your parents’ marriage is in crisis.

How to tell a friend you are sick of hearing about their relationship drama.

Why you shouldn’t be the “therapist” for your friend group.

Why it's normal for friends to drop you when you start drawing boundaries.

The art of putting yourself first: “Let me” be happy for a change.

 

Watch the episodes on YouTube:  https://bit.ly/45OWCNr)

My book! The High 5 Habit  here:  https://a.co/d/g1DQ8Pt)

 

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