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cover of episode Change Your Relationship With Alcohol – How to Control Your Urge to Drink

Change Your Relationship With Alcohol – How to Control Your Urge to Drink

2023/7/17
logo of podcast The Mel Robbins Podcast

The Mel Robbins Podcast
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M
Mel Robbins
一位专注于领导力和个人成长的著名_motivational speaker_和播客主持人。
R
Rachel Hart
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Mel Robbins：我对酒精的饮用感到矛盾，虽然知道它对健康有害，但我仍然喜欢喝鸡尾酒或葡萄酒。我经常在要不要喝酒的问题上犹豫不决，这让我感到很困扰。这不仅仅是关于酒精的问题，许多人对生活中某些让自己感到矛盾或失控的事情存在类似的冲突，例如过度消费、嗜糖、沉迷游戏或社交媒体等。 Rachel Hart：与酒精的关系是了解自身关系的窗口，改变与酒精的关系可以帮助人们更深入地了解自己真正的需求和欲望。对酒精的矛盾心理很正常，这并非意味着存在问题，而是大脑中不同部分的价值观冲突。人们在饮酒时会学习到酒精的象征意义，例如放松、联络感情等，这会潜移默化地影响人们对酒精的认知和行为。理解大脑对酒精的学习和联想，才能更好地改变与酒精的关系。改变与酒精的关系，不应该仅仅依靠理性克制，更需要理解潜意识中的欲望和象征意义。饮酒的冲动可能源于更深层次的需求，例如归属感或放松的需求，我们需要理解这些深层需求才能更好地控制冲动。改变需要改变对承诺的态度，不要采取非此即彼的思维方式。在戒酒过程中出现失误并不意味着失败，而是学习和改进的机会。戒酒过程中的“失误”可能蕴含着重要的信息，帮助人们更好地了解自身需求。过度关注酒精的危害会增加羞愧感，而关注自身需求和欲望则更有助于改变饮酒习惯。冲动是人类普遍的体验，关键在于学会如何应对和管理冲动，而不是试图消除冲动。改变饮酒习惯的第一步是了解自身思维模式，即对饮酒行为的认知和评价。改变饮酒习惯的关键在于学会处理和接纳负面情绪，而不是试图逃避或压制。饮酒行为的背后往往是逃避冲突和负面情绪的需求，我们需要学会接纳和处理这些情绪。 Rachel Hart：改变与酒精的关系，不应该仅仅依靠理性克制，更需要理解潜意识中的欲望和象征意义。理解大脑对酒精的学习和联想，才能更好地改变与酒精的关系。改变需要改变对承诺的态度，不要采取非此即彼的思维方式。在戒酒过程中出现失误并不意味着失败，而是学习和改进的机会。戒酒过程中的“失误”可能蕴含着重要的信息，帮助人们更好地了解自身需求。过度关注酒精的危害会增加羞愧感，而关注自身需求和欲望则更有助于改变饮酒习惯。冲动是人类普遍的体验，关键在于学会如何应对和管理冲动，而不是试图消除冲动。改变饮酒习惯的第一步是了解自身思维模式，即对饮酒行为的认知和评价。改变饮酒习惯的关键在于学会处理和接纳负面情绪，而不是试图逃避或压制。饮酒行为的背后往往是逃避冲突和负面情绪的需求，我们需要学会接纳和处理这些情绪。控制冲动并不意味着消除冲动，而是要学会与冲动共处，并利用更高层次的大脑来应对。大脑分为低级脑和高级脑，低级脑关注当下享乐，高级脑负责理性思考和控制。戒酒不应一概而论，应根据个人情况采取灵活的方式，例如尝试短期戒酒来练习控制冲动的技巧。30天戒酒挑战的重点在于练习控制冲动的技巧，而非单纯地戒酒。改变需要改变对承诺的态度，不要采取非此即彼的思维方式。改变饮酒习惯的关键在于改变自我对话的方式，从“我不能喝酒”转变为“我选择不喝酒”。

Deep Dive

Chapters
Mel Robbins opens up about her conflicted relationship with alcohol and introduces Rachel Hart, an expert on understanding and managing urges.
  • Mel's internal conflict about drinking
  • Rachel's approach to a 'Normal' relationship with alcohol
  • The psychological drivers behind drinking

Shownotes Transcript

Today on the podcast, you and I are having a deeply personal and eye-opening conversation about alcohol and your relationship to it.

 

Rachel Hart is a best-selling author and master coach who has helped thousands of people re-examine their relationship with alcohol, and that’s exactly what she is going to help you do today.

 

Rachel knows the surprising reason you (and I) crave a drink (or have the urge to shop, vape, play video games, scroll on social media, or want something sweet).

 

She’ll also explain that weird cycle of emotions you experience after drinking.

 

Did I drink too much last night? Did I do anything I regret? Should I stop drinking altogether? Should I detox this week before the wedding next weekend? How do I drink less? Maybe it’s time I stopped altogether.

 

You’ll learn that this agitation and conflict about alcohol are normal. The question is, how do you change it?

 

Rachel says it’s by examining the desires underneath the urge.

 

Today, Rachel will help you unpack urges and desires and teach you why boundaries go right out the window when you feel an urge.

 

Today you’ll learn:

  • What your drinking might really be all about. (it’s not what you think)
  • Why feeling conflicted about drinking is normal.
  • Where do urges really come from, and how do you ignore them?
  • How your first experience with alcohol impacts your relationship with it.
  • What your desires are trying to tell you.
  • How to ditch the shame once and for all.
  • The complicated messaging around alcohol.
  • The 30-day plan Rachel uses with all her clients.

 

Not sure if you have a problem with alcohol? Worried about someone else who does? You're not ready to quit alcohol all together, but you wish you’d not reach for the glass of wine most nights. Wonder if maybe you should stop?

 

Perfect. Listen in. 

 

You can change your relationship with alcohol.

 

After this episode, you’ll know how.

 

Xo, Mel

 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

 

  • 02:12: Why is my relationship with alcohol so confusing?
  • 05:43: The shame cycle I go through every time I drink.
  • 12:08: What does your urge actually symbolize? For me, I had to go back to when I was 14 to figure it out.
  • 15:07: You are creating boundaries that justify your cravings and urges.
  • 20:06: What your urges and cravings are trying to communicate to you.
  • 23:07: The difference between your upper and lower brain and what you need to know.
  • 26:10: How to stop drinking without stopping drinking.
  • 28:09: Learning how to change means having a different relationship with commitment.
  • 36:18: Tool #1: Name the urge when it’s happening.
  • 40:06: Why "just say no" doesn’t work.
  • 48:03: Stop looking for answers from others. You have an inner knowing of what’s best for you.
  • 54:47: Tool #2: Ask yourself, If you couldn’t drink for the rest of your life, what would it feel like?
  • 58:30: Disappointment when you give up your urges is normal.

 

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