FBI Trained Expert Explains How to Read Body Language
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Hey, it's your friend mell, and welcome to the man Robin's broadcast. Today, I am really excited to introduce you to a woman that I met over a decade ago who is one of the world's needing experts in decoding body language. So for all you true crime junkies out there, you Better buckle up because you're about to get a master class from a woman who has spent over three decades to coding body language.

Jane driver has been trained by the FBI and the C. I. A. SHE studied some of the biggest murder in history. When a criminal case or an election or new story grabs our attention, every single talk show, a newsroom from sixty minutes to CNN puts gene driver on speed dial.

The today show we've had a on over one hundred times to analyze both the body language and the words of criminals, politicians and celebrities to let us know when someone is lying, SHE can tell you what a shoulder shock, a lip lock chain grab means. He can tell, added to code the body language of somebody that you're dating or the person you're working for. SHE can even help you understand the signaling that your kids are giving you, that they don't even mean to be giving you when they're hiding information.

But this goes way beyond the coding, lies and deception. This is an episode about empowerment because there are simple things that you will learn to do in meetings and interviews, on dates and with your family to gain more influence, to be more persuasive and to exude confidence. All right, you're ready.

We're gonna a go from true crime, murders to confidence and job interviews, all in a single episode. I can't wait for this. Ladies and gentlemen, let's welcome janine driver to the mell Robin's podcast.

Jennie, hello. So jane, I can't wait to just shout you and your wisdom from the rooftops. Thank you.

Most people have seen you on T. V. You've been analyzing murderer for the FBI, the CIA, for decades. How did you get into .

this work when I wasted six years old? No, if we really do go back to six, quite Frankly, at six, I was molested by the next door neighbor. And there are three types of people that are good at reading, people, kids who wear abuse physically, emotionally, verbally.

They need to know when dad comes, how many puts his hot on a weird way, or cracks open the beer, mom gets the box up, whatever. IT is that tonight's not going to be a good night. So for me, have to be an extra neighbor.

And by the Grace of god, my mother believed me. Now, I believe today, as a swearing Christian, I believe everything happens in my greater good. So at sixteen, a guy tried to kid at me.

I was going to mr. Don uts. I worked at mr.

Dona place, now a duncan dona, and from boston, like you, right? And I picked up my check. I was on my bike was a rainy morning. I was five thirty in the morning, one nine hundred and eighty six. And in my little sixteen year old brain, I just turned sixteen.

I was thinking, when this guy tried to kidnap me with his car, he's going to get me I became like leamy son and like a future real vate right like he will get you you know and um I swear having that trauma when I was six saved me at sixteen, said, hey kid, why don't we put your bike in the trunk of my car and i'll give you ride home given to beco will call the gift to fear the gift to fear this was like shoe and I knew I couldn't drive two point eight mouth home because he's just gna hit me with his car doesn't care from dead. It's going to put my broken bones in the car and do whatever going to do to me. But I saw bay bank one block away.

And like, if I can get to bay bank, maybe my parents will have the closure like adam walsh's family, who were looking for him, they didn't know who took him outside of a series parking lot. And my little sixteen year old brain, because what the trauma six was IT just began to change how I thought of the world. And I said, if I can get a bay bank, maybe we'll be a camera.

And I got there by what I call the Grace of god. The fence behind bay bank had been ripped open. I cut open.

IT was a medal fence that looked twenty feet, but it's probably like eight feet. And I rode my, he followed me right to the bank. Now you at home listening, and I drove through the hole down.

Six went and bank man into a shopping, another shopping plaza called nine one one. My parents are sound asleep at five thirty in the morning. A police officer drives me home. My parents have no idea of left the house.

Or my god gene, I have chills as i'm listening to you tell that story and you're making me think of something. So I was also molested by an older kid when I was in fourth grade. And in the process of healing that trauma and learning about how that kind of experience can impact you for the rest of your life.

I've heard the term hypervigiLance. Yes, psychology trauma specialists will talk about the fact that when you experience that kind of sexual or emotional or physical abuse, you create this hypervigiLance where you're always on, you're looking for the next shoot, a drop. You're looking for the song.

yes. And i've never really connected the dots to the fact that IT also can create the super power spy sense that you have this lightning speed when IT comes to your intuition and reading danger signals and really creepy vives from people or situations. And that's really fascinating how you just connected the dots that a lot of times these terrible situations actually equip you with the ability to read the situation like that. But how did you go from those experiences to ending up working as a profiler for the FBI in the CIA.

when I went into college, I majored in english communications because i'm fascinated about what makes human beings stick. And then I ended up getting a job with atf to be vocal about on firms I never heard of them. They're originally elites from the tax days. We used to be part of treasury now with the justice department. Loved human behavior, how to spot if someone's lying.

And I watched a day Kennedy marketing video one night, and I was like, go, what am I an expert at? And so as like, what am I an expert? What do I need to claim? IT, you know, what is IT? I went to worth the next day.

T, F. And dc. And then Peters always get a beggar with me.

We all need to work for. And like the Peters.

he comes. Then I go, band, shut the door. I want on, I got on how to tell you this, but I leave in A T, F.

I'm a new york times best selling author. I go on T, V shows all the time. I'm to go to a body language detecting and deception expert for the media.

He was went to this happen. I go nine thirty five pm. Last night. Two weeks later, I was on fox news with tony snow, who later became the press secretary for George w. bush.

And then I put that on a website, lion on tama L I N because I get out of your lion, lion on tama 点 com。 Four months later, the today show season, there were three body language experts that had websites. They dug my vibe.

But whatever my boston oxy, I call IT well, and i've been on the take show, I don't know, over one hundred times. Doctor ows rich array, the rest rich ray side bar, really quick. And like what showers I want IT on next.

I got this Rachel, right chick, this back in the day, you know, twenty years, and I wrote to every single story they had coming up like, here you meet your future in laws we'd like to talk to you. Do you think your kids smoke? And i'm like, i'm the human lie detector.

They call me the line in timer because I could help your line. And I pitched them. See, I my degree in college with english communications, and I had a concentration in public relations, and they taught me how to write, press for if people say, who is your press age? And I go north atom state college in the birchers, now called us to to liberal arts.

They are my P. R. age. I wrote at twelve, my life son, who was now seventeen and six hundred one was a baby.

And I wrote to every single pitch, like every single upcoming show. And then there was a wednesday on friday, my phone ring. Gene driver, this is Maggie barns, the Rachel rational. And I said, swear god, Maggie, i've been expecting your phone call.

That is a waller move. Wow, wow. I wanted make sure everybody got the incredible life lesson in that SHE didn't sit around a wait for the foundering SHE made IT ring at this moment engine's life SHE is a mom with a baby on a mission.

And SHE takes IT upon herself to do the research and to put in the work she's looking at at Rachel ray. And he sees that they've got all of these upcoming shows, and he writes in and pitches yourself for every single one of them. That's what you have to do.

SHE didn't sit around away for the phone dering SHE made IT ring. She's teaching you more than body language. Hear everybody put in the work, do the research and make that foundering, if you want the foundering.

excEllent. excEllent. So I want to go back and ask you something though, because at the very beginning, you said there were three types of people who learn to read body language. What are the three types?

One is kids who abused in some type I two people like the secret service, who are trained every single day to look for the animals, to look for what doesn't fit. And the third group is people have had a left brain stroke, and the right brain takes over. So people have left brain stroke, the right brain takes over, which is the non verbs in spending these little tiny movements that people make.

Can you start to give us an example of what a non verbal is? There's a high gesture .

that turns agreement to disagreement, and no one's ever told us what IT is. Now what is the easiest thing? So I say to you, you go hey jane, next time i'm in dc, i'd love to let's go to dinner, right?

I don't drink by maybe you say let's get ice and I go OK. Now that sounds great and i'm not my head. Yes, i'm saying yes, but I take my hand and I touched the back of my head at the same time.

I go here. That sounds great. Now, sure. absolutely.

yeah. Let's get together. Or that's what men tend to do. Women will go to the neither of our neck and we lift our hair up for those of you who are listening, and they be not seeing us right now.

And when someone says yes and they shake their head, yes, but they touch their head at the same time, that's called the high level passive er that's indicating there's something they're uncertain about. So maybe when you say, hey, when I come to tony, let's go for stake and I, okay, yeah, that sounds good, but I just became a vegan. What are doing a minute fasting and I don't need three days a week. Now i'm saying, yes, but I take my hand and I touched the back of my head at the same time. It's just telling you my definite yes actually has a non verbal, maybe there's a problem so everyone, if whether you are in your car, the gym, just say, yeah, that sounds really good you I love to get together, impact your head, pat the back, your head yet you're .

literally like going i'm lying to cause I really don't want to as i'm petty my hair and touching my neck I bet you see this a lot on first states where somebody y's trying to get IT to a second date not like I think we should do this again and you probably see people not and going, yeah the'd be great and then they go and touch their neck and that means you are not really if you think someone is not telling you the full story, how do you prove IT say.

maybe i'm wrong here IT seems to me there's something are uncertain about why I just became begin now .

can we get something begin? You just said that phrase maybe i'm wrong here IT seems to me is that what you recommend that we say whenever we get the feeling that sutton off or getting mix signals from anybody in our life, you just recommend that line. I might be wrong. It's a softer way to kind of lean into this because I would bet that when we first start trying to decode other people, we're going to .

make a lot of mistakes. But you can train yourself to be Better on IT .

I say can and see IT on here and experience IT what do you mean by that?

Words have hit a meaning if I said to you live mail, um I just left my office. I'm going to get to the restaurant ten minutes early. Mail, take your time. I've got some work I can do. What's my, what's my hand meaning and what I just said, do you know I just left my house like I haven't just left.

Some people think I didn't leave and i'm trying cover my ask for when i'm going to be late yeah some people think i'm being passive aggressive and i'm saying, be there because i'll be there early and maybe those things are true, but here's when I want you to focus on the word left, equal strive. I left my husband. I left my job. If someone emails your text messages, you tells you on a phone or face to face, and they use the word left, they're telling you about something that happened that involves strike some problem. I just left my house just as an minimizing word.

I love her explaining this genuine, because what you're essentially teaching us to do is to pick up on these mixed signals, whether it's physical or verbal, right, left.

left, t equal strife. I left my job. I left my husson while speaking of .

words that are tells. I remember that you did a tonic commentary on the casey Anthony murder case and if I remember correctly, wasn't there's something about the words that he used to describe the day her daughter died that were a huge tale that he was lying to the police.

And for those of you that were not following this case, back in two thousand and eight, eight crypt, the nation, a Young mom was accused of murdering her little girl by sticking her in the back of a trunk of a car. And there were all these details, and he was ultimately convicted of lying to the police. And if I remember correctly, gene didn't have something to do with the words because he went to prison for that, for lying to the police. So can you explain how you know on equity ally, the casey Anthony was lying?

yes. So if you can just I say you can not experience IT on here or and see IT. So when you see something weird or you hear something weird, slow down and try IT on. Casey Anthony, uh, the mother hern me is Cindy Anthony. Casey Anthony's mother subpose es, the grandmother of ki.

Anyone SHE called the police a nine moon and said, my daughter's been missing, and I just found out my granddaughter's been missing for thirty days, and IT smells like there's been a dead body in the trunk of the damn car. When police interviewed casey Anthony about the smell in her car, SHE said, dead square ls climbing my engine. Indeed, that's what he said.

So if they're dead, how are they climbing? And then they would. They redial at the zombie squirl like, but our brain place tricks on a smell. You at home death squirl climb ed in my engine and died and when our brain does is says, oh, what he means is a squirl climbed up into her trunk and died.

Roger client, did you cheat in baseball and takes stereo ids? He said, how do I prove a negative? But you mean, how do I get people to typed to know that i'm telling the truth, our body and brain does not want us to like and they're having a conversation with one another so that tells that they are really talked about a handful, this over five thousand body language and words that have hinting meaning wow.

Well, speaking of tales, you started our conversation today by talking about what you called non verbs, like hand gestures or touching the back of your head. And you said that a lot of women start touching their neck when they feel uncertain. And so that if you see these, I think you said they were passive ying gestures, that when you see these pass fy gestures, it's a sign that somebody y's unsure or they're lying to you. Are there other places on the body that people touch when they're stressed out or lying, or that indicate that somebody y's not being .

fully transparent with you? So this pass fy happens at all parts of our body, but the higher the pacify, the more stress and anxiety why our brain is in here.

So you may be ringing your hands together, or Robing your hands, or rob your hands on your legs to pass fy stress. I actually do that. I think we all do that at times. These behaviors with our hands indicate stress. And the closer that our hands rise up to our brains, the more stressed out we are.

Yeah, these high level face pacifiers are indicating stress. Think about people rubbing their eyes. Babies when they're crying.

Male, you're a mom, a mom. Maybe you at home, a mom. You're want to kid for sure. Babies, just before they fall asleep.

they rub their eyes. That's right. They do.

There is a nerve behind our eyes when you touch your eye. IT then affects this nerve that tickles our brain and dumps doping in our body.

fascinating.

So right now, if everyone just touches your eye, your boss says, hey, can you get this done by monday? And it's friday at five o'clock, right? And you go to boss on the problem and you touched the part of your eye.

If you're in a meeting or on a date in someone starts touching their eye, it's likely stress as increased. By the way I put me, even does this when needs to active or stress, he'll touches ice as well under high stress. So in the mean, IT says to me subconsciously, right, your brain is getting so stressed in your body that you're dumping dopamine e to say, it's OK, it's OK. You see world leaders, you see corporate tightens, the president and mexico, said president obama, the united states can help us curb the cark tele problem in our country. And when he says that he does a bunch of body language to, indicates uncertainty .

and then touches his in eri, wow. So you've spent decades studying murder, liars, world leaders, becoming an expert at decoding this hidden language. Yes, what do we need to know so that we can spot when people are lying, so that we can spot these signals that somebody is giving to us, and be more empowered in life? Where do we've even begin to?

Is a great question. Now I first we start with us before decoding others. So let's start with .

self awareness. can. Okay, that sounds great. Why don't we take a quick moment to hear a word from our sponsors? Because they are bringing you this incredible master class at zero cost.

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Welcome back today, you and I are getting a master class and decoding body language. I freking love this stuff. Don't do you love this stuff? And so we have just been learning about, as he says, nonverbals.

That's not so like police work nonverbals OK. Jane said, before we start decoding all the liars around us and call on people out, we actually have to look in the mayor and start with self awareness. So, gene, where do we start?

I call a behavioral fingerprint. What's your behavioral fingerprint?

I have no idea. Okay.

if you at home can imagine a tree, there's the four stages of how we communicate. First is the intention. The roots of the tree, the trunk of the tree is body language.

After body language comes the branches. The branches are thought in the last one of the leaves, the leaves of the tree now are the words. And if you think of a tree mail, and you at home is the room to start with the roots of the tree.

The roots of the tree is what we believe. I spoke at Georgetown university and someone said a woman at the end of my presentation, excuse me, I have a group interview tomorrow. Five people interviewing me. Gene, is your question you would ask at the end of the interview.

And I said, yes, I would ask to each of them, what do you consider the ideal candidate to look like? And how do I measure up to your expectation of the ideal candidate? And the woman, had you all been there, you would have seen her and heard her said, oh, I could never ask that I would look desperate.

You would have her, me respond, you're right. You will look desperate. I will look confident.

Is that because of the roots?

It's because of the root of the trees. What I believe because I really want to know that question. Wow.

I want to make sure you got that because janine driver just dropped a master class bomb on us. That is an incredible tip for any interview, and I hear you, don't you dare ask that unless you really want to know the answer. And genie, you know, this is making me wonder, in a very broad stroke, when IT comes to gender, do you see any differences in body language or these verbal cues when IT comes to confidence between the way that women and men present themselves?

A lot of us, if the women who are listening, a lot of us women, we really do ourselves a huge disservice. And men go in and men say, excuse me now, I just found out my mothers come in a town fourth july. I'm taken four days off.

Confident, solid body language. Women, we ask the same question. That same day we will.

Often many of us come in shoulder struggling, and we put our shoulders up to our ears. Hey, boss, I just found out shoulders rug that my mother's coming to town. Shoulders rug, I didn't know he was coming.

Could I take the force july? And your boss is yes to bob and know a gene and we walk away. So this is, this is what happens is a double standard.

Now i'm not saying there's not a double standard with men and women because there is. But there are some areas where we have to take responsibility for the results were getting. When I come in, uncertain, how am I making my boss feel mail?

uncertain. Jane, you're so right. And I want to make sure, especially for those of you that are listening to this podcast, if you're watching us on youtube because we always put a longer on a bridged version of the podcast up on youtube, so you definite want to check that out so you can see, you can see these moves.

But I want to make sure if you're listening to this conversation, that you really get this, okay, because you can see what she's doing. Take a second and do IT with me, because the physical part of this is so powerful. Okay, first I want you to hike your shoulder up toward your years.

So imagine that the tops of your shoulders or earrings, you ve got them up toward your ears. Now I want you to just say loud, can I take the fourth of july off? You're shoulders up.

Try IT hike your your shoulders up. Can I take me for you eat? It's like your body and your mouth aren't working together.

It's so weird because you have this physical experience that your body is questioning the words that are coming out of your mouth. It's impossible, gene, it's impossible to feel confident if your shoulders are hiked up to your ears. I've never thought about IT. I don't even feel confident if i've got my shoulders up at my ear and i'm sitting here .

shargle what you're planting pumpin seeds in expecting tomatoes to grow.

It's true. I think I got the root.

It's not our fault. It's not your fault because no one is teaching us this. So we just want to be light.

We don't want to be inconvenient ing people. We don't have a bother me. But if you look at that, many of the men are inconsistent pha women.

They just come in unapologetically. That's the roots of the tree. What is that, that you're planting? Because what you're planting is going to grow whatever the sea is connected to.

So get to those roots of the tree is what do you believe? What's the track? the? Okay, yes, the time of the tree is body language.

You know, this is interesting because after body language comes the branches, the branches melt, and you at home, the branches are thought. So this means body language comes before thought. And here's the deal. IT comes up to five seconds before thought. Now do you think five seconds is is a good advances for the military with five seconds matter.

bits.

life or death? Do you think five seconds have matter with an .

athlete it's winning or losing?

Can five seconds with you, with your five second room, and five seconds make .

a .

different scores with understanding what i'm talking about now? First is the intention, the roots of the tree. Lange and then thought, this means you get a five second advances to know how someone else feels before their brain knows how they feel.

I think I get IT. I was a little confused when you said five second advantage, but I think I get saying you are trying to explain us that these nonverbals like struggling your shoulders, or touching the back of your head, or touching your eye, that when somebody does this, they don't even realize or doing IT.

So if you can spot somebody touching the back of the head or struggling their shoulders, you have an advantage because you're reading the body language before the person even realizes that they're unsure. That's genius. And what's the last part of the tree?

And last one of the leaves, the leaves of the tree, mal, are the words. And words matter, because words plant the next seed.

And you also just taught us, gene, that words give us clues as to whether not people are lying. They're part of this behavioral fingerprint that everybody has and that they're signal to the people around them. If you understand .

people's behavioral fingerprints and there is a bunch of things, maybe i'll come back and play again and other questions. You can sell them differently. You can raise the kids differently. You can understand them. There's twenty six .

billion different behaviors. Oh god, I I M in your work, in your ted talk on, you use this term E, S. L. Everyone's second language. And IT relates to eyeball king, shoulder struggling and libo king.

Those are the three horsemen of body language signals, eyes blocking, shoulder struggling, lip locking, that can signal to you that somebody's lying to you or not. Tell you the whole story. Why is the shoulder shrug? I tell that someone is wrong. I mean, we all just did that exercise where we lifted up our shoulders and we felt how weird that feels. But why is IT such a .

big tell erga shelter rug? A child's rug is uncertainty. When I say, hey, mom, uh, what do you want for lunch? A solid B L. T, I don't know. What do you want to show the rug make sense there your verbal says I don't know in your non verbal says I don't know it's can grow IT but when I say, hey ml um your favorite ted talk of mine is black and I shoulder rug IT does not mean I don't like that talk but IT does indicate there's something i'm uncertain about. Asked me if I was cheated on my husband when I was married to him.

Did you ever cheat on your husband when you're marry now?

Now I said no. And for people who are listening, I struck at the same time, and that's why I was laughing. See, that drug means now you open a file in a cabinet that's a top secret of something I don't want to share with you.

And maybe what I don't want to a share is that he cheated on me and i'm called the human mind detector. Hypothetically, he cheated on me hypotheses ticals. He went on tender two days before Christmas and my friend told me could see he showed ed up in her out eathorne the shoulder rug doesn't mean i'm canceling what i'm saying, but that does mean something i'm uncertain about.

And and I may not even realize that yet. why? Because you have a five second advantage over my brain. I don't even realize i'm uncertain about something right now. But if you can spot IT, you can simply say, I call A M I W formula. Maybe i'm wrong, you know, maybe i'm wrong here ml but IT seems to me or IT feels to me that you're uncertainty something and then let the person say, well, yeah.

I noticed in a lot of your commentary in some of the major m motor cases that you have been an expert on that shoulder hugging, while husbands in particular, who went on to be found guilty or confessing to murdering pregnant wives or members of their family, that during press conferences you were picking up on shoulder, struggling. yes. So in our lives, if you have somebody in your life that you think is lying to, whether it's a kid that you think is lying about what they were doing last night or a significant other that you think might be treating or might not be telling you to the truth, is paying attention to whether or not they just sort of inadvertently, subconsciously raise their shoulders as they are talking. That is one clue that sometimes not right?

Yes, not only shoulders. So now it's also hands. So sometimes a hand shrug, it's also uncertainty or a mouth shrug, like, I don't know, want to tell you.

So a hand Rogers shows the sugar, this like mouse drug where you can feel that someone's uncertain. It's hard to describe IT here um is indicating there's a hot spot here. We don't know what the cat is is. But there's certainly something i'd want to ask more questions on with regard to this.

So that was the shoulder hugging. But there are two more that you want us all to understand. And so how about we hear a word from our sponsors who are allowing us to bring genuine driver to you at zero cost.

We are loving this. And when we come back, everybody, we're to talk about the two other hidden signs, eye blocking and lip lock in. Don't go anywhere.

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And we are getting a master class today in reading body language, spotting liars, uncertainty. I just love this stuff. Jane driver is here, and we have been covering the three body language horsemen. Whenever somebody rides this horse on in, they shrug their shoulders, they lip lock the ice spot, whatever the hell that is IT means, they're line. So, jane, can you explain an example of what eyes blocking is?

yes. So a murder re named Chris watts killed his pregny scene as two Young daughters, the left and Bella, little months, like under the age of six, and when he is being interviewed. And then there was the the guy that killed his liter and scope's.

If you look on my ted talk, I tell you how long they I block. And so sometimes they are just talk like this with their eyes, clothes. I think Susan Smith was something like sixteen seconds.

So if right now i'm closing my eyes, if you see me, everyone close your eyes and just talk out loud. So just i'm going to give me a hot second and just close your eyes. Now you do IT for me.

Do not open them. Kay, this is so we are trying to talk. I oh my gosh, and i'm trying desperately not to struck my shoulders .

at the same time. Okay, that was about eleven.

My god, that's so weird.

So yes, I i'm looking, I have an iphone right here, right? So I have to enter my code to get access to my cell phone. Yes, I blocking is you are putting up the code to inside your brain that you don't want people to have access to information that's inside your brain.

So I blocking can be, I put my hand over my eyes, I could be adJusting my head, I could be breaking the eye contact. I am looking away. So I blocking is there's something I don't want you to see right now, and i'm putting up my screen saver.

And unless you have the code, which I ve going to gift to you again, the M, I W for me and maybe i'm wrong here. M I W, IT seems to me there's something you're thinking about or something you concerned about. And so I locking happens under high stress.

In high anxiety, people will block, as a matter of fact, if you want to know if you're a powerful per person, which I know you are, mail high status versus low status. High status people give eye contact and look at you or when they're listening to you. High status people also look at you when they're talking to you.

Low status people look at you when they're listening. But when they talk, they break eye contact a lot. I do that. I blocking when I do think.

jane, I do that, but I think it's my D H D. Like I noticed that have a really hard time staying in locked eye contact with somebody when i'm talking. I can do IT laser beam focus when i'm listening to somebody, but there's something about searching for words or capturing my or something. I don't never close my eyes, but I definitely look up or I look down and then I look back.

IT makes you even more likeable because IT is a low status thing to break when talking. When we do that, IT comes across as you're not to know at all. You don't think you're you're still a work in progress.

You don't think you're Better than everyone else. It's almost like intimidating to not break the eye contact. So you but you will be seen as someone else that has a lower status like that.

You're not like the alpine g saying, hey, i'm the boss here. This is, you've got to do what I want to do. You're and that's not who you are. You're that team person. You're pulling us along with your journey.

And the final of these three horseman you call IT e sl is lip locking. What the heck is lip lock? King, everyone.

pull your lipson and just said, not a problem on the mind, and pull your little son.

K, for those of you who are not watching this episode on youtube, what jane just did is SHE literally like, put her lips together and then roll them in. So SHE made her lips disappear. That's right. Right, gene, you just make them disappear.

disappear. And so ml goes, not a promotion. Eny, I say, when we don't like what we see, you're here, our lips disappear.

That's this. Oh, so rolling those lips. K, so now says not a problem. I know there is a problem because mouse, let's disappear.

So I know there is a problem, so I might stick around and say, now, you know, maybe wrong here seems that you're disappointed or the thing, you know, there's something not saying. I'm going to tell you what that persons going to say. Yeah, I am mad because last year you was supposed to come in and you're back out three days before. Then you have a five second head start if you can decode body language because the body language people are showing you, their brain doesn't realize how they feel just yet bodying, which shows up before that thought.

Wow, this is the try factor of deception. So everyone, you ve got beyond the look out for eyes blocking, shoulder hugging and lips. When somebody is sucking in those lips, they lying people.

That's what they're doing into you. Jane, does everybody leave a conversation with you and suddenly think that they are now A C I, A agent? Like, you know, your unsuspecting partner struck their shoulders and your, like, I saw that shoulders 来 to me。

If you are confronting the people in your life, stop saying whatever you do. Don't lie to me our brain doesn't understand the word doped and so you're giving them an embedded and and to lie you and it's thirty percent about proximately hiphop, more hiphop than you just sing hang during the end of view you please lie to me so what you want to say instead is what horses negotiators say i'm not a hostage negotiator.

I am mentor jim cabinet who is ah what they say is whatever you do today, I want you to tell me the truth, whether you tell me the truth or you don't because we don't here don't tell me the truth. I know more than you think I know so i'm going to use that embedded command after they don't to say tell me the truth. So now and actually some questions about where last night and whether you tell me the truth, you don't pause. Tell me the truth, I know more than you think I do now last night, when you said you were out with your girlfriends, anyone else show up .

and talk to you guys up only the shoulders, down lips, where was I like? I don't know what i've died. I think I was here.

So.

so hold on, I want to make sure that we get so you now are gonna watch shoulder shrug. Gs, yes, if you are feeling like some things off, if you are, then going to open up the file and explore more. You're counselling us, number one, to either start with I could be wrong.

yes.

or to say I am asking question and you're either gone to tell me the truth or don't tell me the truth, it's the pause, right? Because then they hear that I tell me the truth as because I heard you say, tell me the truth twice that don't sort of got swept under the rug, which is why I sudden get nervous.

Yes, yeah. Well, kids, kids are between the ages of eight and thirteen. The likelihood of you do this, the likelihood i'll get the kids to tell you the truth, goes up to over eighty percent.

really. Yeah.

I teach something called statement analysis. I say what I want, not what I don't want. It's called priming.

I'm like, I say, m hy jacking your brain, you know? And and then if I want to take you to the next level, and I sign you a trait that I want you to have, you know, ml, everyone out here tells me you a truthful person. Is this true?

Yes, although i'm now thinking, am I truthful? I am not very truthful and I truthful. So you can say to your kid or your spouse or somebody that works for you, everybody says that you a very truthful ful person. Are you truthful person?

You need to get them to say yes. Because what you're creating is cognitive dissidents. Because if you know that you're not a truth for person, but I just said yes that I am. Now we've created this this term called cognitive dissidents, which is confusing to the brain, and that's what we want. So host negotiator, my host, negotiate.

A mentor, jim cabinet, said to David kash, if you, if you're on the Younger side, and you don't know about this, was this branch divide, an pyong, this cult out in texas years ago, the nineties and he said to David r. David cruz was inside the compound on a payphone. My hostage negotiator mentor said, everyone out here says you a man of your word.

Is this true? Koh said yes. Later, when jim cabinet said, we let women and children go. If we get your words read in the national Christian media network, koh said, yes.

Guess what? Because he had accepted the trade that he does what he says he is going to do, that he has integrity. He let women and children go to by two.

He said, like, no, he's art. When the other houses negotiator came on from the FBI, no knock against the FBI, but not one other person walked out of that building alive. And it's not the FBI fault.

IT was jim. Kevin, a built such great report, poor with favorite coh, that he didn't want to work with anybody else. But we had A, T, F agents die. And so the FBI takes over. I don't want to get into that political battle, but assigning people that trade.

you want them to have. And can you give us an example that doesn't involve hostages? I mean, that was fascinating. But how do I use statement analysis, which is basically telling people the traits that you want them to have? How do you use this with like your family?

My son, Angus, I went and I said, you addicted to video games. You're addicted to video games. How many times have you told your kids you're addicted to video games? And then we wonder, when they are twenty and thirty, they're dict to porn, gambling, cheating, lying, alcohol.

Well, the the most important person in their life, us told them over, over, over and their anadi. So how can we write? Now, assign ourselves a trait.

I'm the world's greatest mom, honey. And I just found out how to be even Better. We got to start with us. We got to plant the seeds for us first. We're great. And then and reset how we talk to our kids, say what we want, not what we don't want, because here's why comes back to body limit. How we are talking to our kids, to ourselves is then going to influence the the circle, again, what we believe about ourselves, and then the body of .

image and interactions. So what do we say to them instead of your dict?

You're too much. I said to my son and is, hey, what came in a plane? Some long bia pop.

I go, how do you play? You have to kill his babies or kitch him. He said, both.

I go see. You understand the importance of baLance. Is that true? You understand the importance of baLance, Angus, he said, yeah, I go.

hey. But but I thought so I go even your teachers is helming you're so good at baLance. You you're always on time and stuff because you're balancing your schedule throughout the day.

Is that sure to what's go? Yeah oh good. I don't know, you know, baby, but you've been playing video against three, four hours and your two brothers are swimming the pool.

You just just been four hours ago. How we go swiming because, all right, all right, I mean, legit. Go swiming.

So lets go on the office to, what are some body language moves, these kind of nonverbal cues that we can make in order to display confidence to other people. One is.

i'm doing that now you're seeing is called stealing its fingertips to fingertips, making like a church. When we see people, we intimidate people to hire this steep, the more intimidation. So it's a sign of confidence. So a nice low people, especially if you are a woman in a meeting and men or like over talking, you instead of saying, let me finish with a palm down gesture like you're the police on a RAID in telling people to get on the ground if you just lean back and steep or someone else at the table will quit IT down the people who are interrupting you so that when we step people, we intimidate people. Design of confidence.

Let me be question about that. Yes, just so everybody listening gets us because I think this is critical. You're in a meeting at work or you're at a family dinner or you're out with a bunch of girlfriends and people are talking over you. You're saying that instead of raising your hand or stop talking over me or continuing to talk, if you lean back, you put your fingertips together and make kind of like a church, steep or a triangle, and you lean back in your chair and then you stare at the person who is talking over you or what do you do.

You could either stop looking at them or look at their forehead and you would think that they don't feel that. But when someone's being disrespectful, if you look at their forehead, IT can change IT. Um when we talk to people, I talk out of my right eye into your left die because your opposite me, right? So i'm talking primarily out of my right eye, all him beings, this meant of your right here, lefty.

We talk out of my right eye into your left eye. If I want to intimidate you because I don't like your behavior or the inappropriate things you're saying, my right eye will go diagonal to your right eye and when you could do this to a waitress and they come to take your water and you just focus you're right eyes to their right eyes, you're going to go diagonal, al. And they're you'll start to passive y, you'll see them fix their hair, touch their throw because it's this little IT in power that we have.

So you can look at one's forehead, you can look out of your predicate right eye is you're talking to someone's left eye. Diageo, no crossing and then that steep or just stop looking out at them all together and stop giving them your attention and the stealing someone else at the table, professional, personal, and say, hey mike, hey jeff, hey Susan, stop interrupting her. Let her finish.

You know, I like to say, you want to be rider. Do you want to be effective? My mother taught me steeping SHE since passed at a boss that used to point and should be like Richard, my of this.

Now margry should walk into this pool of people at desks. And they became cartoon figures. Their eyes popped out of their head, and they looked full of fear.

And I call my mother twenty five. I was in world trade center near, and I go on, my boss is this gressier thing. If he does that to me, i'm mouthy. I'm going to lose my cool job at A T. F.

My mother was a nurse for elderly homeless people, male and boston community, to elderly homelessness, that on on of a hospital in cambridge, I went home, five, two and five, nine. Step a SHE. I wanted to do this.

This is before I know, was called steeping. And fingertips to fingertips. And I go, what's that can cause? I have no idea.

I just know when a doctor says my mom was lain laren. Can I talk to you about the last patients? She's always be like, i'm in trouble.

So long behold, collin in my boss, that the world trade center did IT to me two months later. Jane, my office SHE pointed at me, was aggressive. I pulled out mm's move, which I now know is called steeping opper.

Winfrey does that all the time. I walked casually behind, calling with my steel when I went into her office. Had you've been there of her to say, do you know why I called you in my office? And with my steel in hand, I responded the way mom told me. I said, I have a pretty good idea calling choose why ago i'm exceeding all your expectations.

As you might imagine.

he is like, what i'll do that at the end of the year and an evaluation. I god spread IT out. I love the attention from my boss, still steeping every now.

Then call me in and i'll come skipping in. I come in early and stay late. I know i'm exceeding your expectations, isn't that when you call me in SHE didn't know what to do.

I worked for her for three and half years. He never called me in her office again. The reason you had call me in that day was to bully me.

And when I said, why did you call me and he said, oh, I just want to see how you're enjoying living in new york city. SHE was a bully boss. So if you have bully bosses and bully people in your life, pull out that people. Because when you step people, you have power over people.

I had always been told that if somebody's interrupting you in a meeting, keep talking and don't let them interpret you. But I actually like the confidence of kind of putting the step up kinds high, like a giant triangular middle finger. Thanks, bob. And leaning back like OK, i'll wait while the hot air comes out of your mouth. Does IT work with a spouse or somebody .

your dating in kids? I feel like they're in trouble. yes. So if you want to make them feel like they're in trouble, that you're not going to be pushed around easily.

Hundred percent people. I ve it's almost a little child that you're creating. It's like you can become your own super hero, super power when you steep.

It's like wonder twins unite. They used to hit their fists. Like you're now creating a force field.

You you are in charge when you put the steps up. I absolutely love that. Thank you. That's pretty cool. When you're nervous.

People, you can fake IT there. So the other move, I want to say, is a chin grab in renewing is the former CEO of I love in renew. Wk SHE was raised in india.

Her mother used to, every night at the dinner table, have her and her sister debate, you're running for president of the united states. You're running for prime minister of australia. And there would debate.

SHE grows up, becomes a female city. wrong.

I to your kid. So when he does an interview, look at engineering, SHE grabs her chin and I say, when we grab our chin, were about to win. Take a picture of yourself.

How do you Normally sit? And now take a picture of yourself for holding your chin. Look how much more intelligent we look, look like master's degree.

We look at all. I look really look like I just won the peel a surprise. And so here I figured I was holding my chin because it's very pointy. I don't really like IT, so i'm kind of hiding IT. But IT does look very kind.

I tell you about your pointing chin means.

yeah.

what is my pointed shovel and a pointed chin? You can take IT, you can take something on the chin and a point, this chin is like a shovel, and that you will fight for people, that you will fight, you'll have that determination. Is that that the cheering there.

How else gene can we use body language to turn on our confidence and tap into that power inside of us?

I spoken event called know your value is a woman. Sped amit before me was sargeus ica Parker. I'm not saying this in a bragi way. Sr, jesica. Parker, Martha still and bob Brown, and make a paris there there before me and then i'm the like that real side, twenty two in the back of the room, right, coming up next and twenty five minutes and I got my stinking thing in coming in.

You know people barely applaud ded like if they don't like them, like they're never going to let me know even know him i'm not even famous to at that level yet and and I go, gene, pull your shoulder back. The difference between superman and Clark kent is a two inch posture difference. Clark kent, his shoulder are pulled forward.

We always pull your shoulder back. That's actually wrong. You're never going to put you short this.

but you actually look weird. I just pulled my shoulders back the second you said there's a two two inch difference in my, okay shoulders back. I have had to get interrogated. Here we go.

We've been taught wrong OK what we do. If you pull your shoulders back, it's actually uncomfortable and you're knock and you look weird. Instead, I want you to think like, like tony stark, right? Iron man, iron, that the circle orb that keeps them alive on his chest.

I imagine you have that in the center of your chest in a laser being shoots out of, if that razor being based on your posters gna hit the ground, then you're being clock kent. If you want to be superman, where the wall meets the ceiling is a confident feeling. So you just want to take that laser beam and lift your chest to where the wall meets the .

ceiling .

OK like your shoulders. relax. Those those. Yeah, much Better.

And you're walking. You change how you are perceived. So i'm in the back of the room.

I was coming from the back and i'm aftermath do IT and series Parker and I have my stinking thinking. And you can be negative one than seventeen seconds. Research says you, after after seventeen and seconds, bring yourself a steam back up.

If you add on a negative thing, you create momentum. And when you create momentum, then it's hard to stop the negativity. After seventeen seconds, I give my positivity.

I'm amazing. I know cool stuff. I'm going to change her life.

People in here are hurting. At least one woman needs to know this, that she's amazing. And I do that. And I go whether while me to ceiling is a company feeling, I fire a laser being made there with that while means to ceiling. And I come up from my twenty five minutes, and I got the only standing ovation for the at conference, this girl that no one knew, coming in size, twenty two, twenty four in the back of the room, hitting the stage, and all I did was noticed my thinking, thinking no more than seventeen seconds of negativity, say five things about me that I love. I changed my posture, and then I just .

killed the jimi, I fricking love you. You are so awesome and your hilarious. But I love these tools.

I love how you simplify this. So I can remember iron man and I picked up on that. Remind that where the wall meets the ceiling, it's a confident feeling.

Thank you for that. Yeah and thank you for the people and thank you so much for that statement analysis example that you gave, don't tell people. Don't lie to me.

Instead, you tell them the traits you want them to have baLance, honesty, genius. It's like you giving us permission to manipulate people. Gene, let's go to another real life scenario, interviewing and dating. What's the body language move that we can use to exude confidence and to basically say, pick me two things.

Number one, how you start the day in the job interview, I want you to end IT. So if you start with a hug, I want you to end with a hug. If you start with a hand chick, I want you to end with the hands chick.

We blow the ending so many times, especially in business, because that's called the recency effect. The recently effect is those last couple moments that you had with me what happened there. So if i'm in an interview and you you get a call and you you excuse me to you, you is a pleasure.

I get to take this call. I still want you in a second to lean over that table, stretch out your hand, not a problem. Was great to see you again.

Boom, get that handshake. We blow IT on the ending. We blow IT on the ending.

So book ended with that hand shake or the hook. That's number one. Um number two, where you sit is making a difference.

Stop sitting directly opposite people. This is the fighting pose on dates or on job interviews. The seat is rate across from the person interviewing me.

Or you go to the outback stakeout and you're in a booth. Do not sit directly across from this potential new significant other. You want to be thirty percent off center and there's advanced techniques on which side.

Well, the type of that in the time, but be at the very least thirty percent of center. Here's why they have a visual way out. IT will crease their stress and anxiety.

You'll have a visual way out and decrease us, feel what IT feels like tonight at the table or network directly across from someone, shake their hand. I'm so happier here. Tell me what you love about our family.

Then come in to move the chair thirty percent off center and have that same conversation. Watch what happens. We're all energy at the end of the day, right? My friend of the FBI, Frank march, he says, everything says something.

Everything says something, even no facial expression says something. right? Thirty percent off center.

But gene, if I go going to an office and the chairs right there, you want me to move the chair? Yeah, yeah. I do.

I wanted to come in, shake their hand, move the chair. Thirty percent of centers, when it's done, is shake the hand and you put the chair back. So book and IT, I love elbow pops.

by the way, and elbow pop.

very yeah, you pop your bubble over the chair. We would see this tailor do this with the long cigarette. Look at me, boys.

Look at me. Very confident to do an elbow pop. Casual confidence.

Can you actually be with other people and not be decoding them?

I can't. And see the detecting deception hott spots. K, I can not notice them.

You have a great trick for knowing in an instant if someone is detail oriented, like my husband, Chris, or not.

So I wanted you to do a test, and you at home, anyone who pays attention to all the details, like male husband, right? All these little tinney details, I want you to watch how they drink their water tonight, eat dinner or tomorrow breakfast, or today at lunched, whatever time you're listening to this amazing male Robin's podcast. And i'm going to tell you what they going to do with their water.

These details are into people, by the way, I am not one of them, is when they drink their water. Now, then we need to know this. We are house.

Was this first same Chris, Chris, right? He's going to drink his water when he puts the glass. Are the bottle on the table?

He is gonna watch IT until IT it's the table. When he goes to pick up the bottle, he's gona look at the bottle. Keep looking at IT as he grasps the bottle.

He's going to keep looking at IT people like me who are not disoriented. What I do is I see, I see the table. I looked down with the tables.

I grab my bottle of water, but i'm still looking at you. So I look just to see, and my water still there, and look at the water. And then I look back at you, and I pick IT up without looking at the water.

And now i'm looking at you, and I put IT down without looking at the table. I figured gravity and the thing I just picked them up from, we're still there. Detail oriented people, when they talk to you, Jimmy fallon, aiming humor, gennifer Lawrence, their humor, or three of those people are about the details.

They remembers words from movies and words from songs. Watch them in interviews they will talk to like smart bonds. So it's not just the water, it's all their energy is directed in one area.

So Jimmy file, talk in his hand, points up in his ice pointer. You see, general large, hi, nice to me with a handshake in her head. They're almost, I feel like I can't get away from their energy if you're talking to me in an all the sun.

If Christian husband was doing this, I would like, would detail oriented orange, you like to research the research, and then recommend more research and watch how they put the drinks down? I'm speaking today at a company called pilot and two of their big executives. I watched them less. I did a little cocktail or, and I secretly videotape them.

oh my god, are you onna play IT during your keynote?

Oh yeah. I went up and asked for permission today. But as they drain their water, they watched IT to the, hit the table as if, like, hi, i'll be right back. You made IT and I said A U detAiling ted, do you have to research the research to executives? They go, yes.

How do you know that I go simply by how I watched you drink your water? I said, if I put a coastal on the table, IT was cricket, where you adjust the coastal both at one hundred percent. So in meetings, if you're listening in your business person, especially sales, make sure you have coasters crooked on the table. Now some people aren't detail oriented and may just fix IT because it's irritating. But watch if they watch their glass when they put IT to all the way till .

what does I tell you about how to tell them two things.

One, they're going to want lots and lots of details. That's number one. Number two, in your emails, if you are detail oriented, your emails are probably too long and someone like me, i'm never gonna ad your mails.

I'm going to pick up the phone call and say, okay, what do I need to know about this event? What's the dress code? Where is what you need to do if you're detailed in your emails or text messages at the top? Think like twitter, there's the three things you must know.

Additional information is below someone like me who's not motivated by details. I don't look at the water when I put IT down or pick up. I need to do the opposite.

Here's what you need to know. Boom, boo, boom. Here's a link to additional information if you'd like to explore on your own.

I could talk to all day long, gene. And I can already anticipate one question that we are going to get from listeners when they listen to all of this incredible advice and wisdom that you're sharing with us. And that is this what if i'm not confident? What if I don't believe that you talked earlier about the roots like IT begins with the roots and the roots are your beliefs. So if we employed the shoulder pop or we use the steeping in order to exude confidence, but we don't feel IT, how do we eventually start to feel IT?

So I think body images great, and I can teach you to simple, but if you're stupid, but you have this limited belief about yourself that you're not powerful and that you're a loser and you're going to know you're trying to scam them with your confidence and it's very confidence, then your shoulder are going to be up and you're going to look like this like character, you know, out of a Harry potter movie. So you've got ta believe .

that you how do you believe IT, if all you see is evidence that you failed or that you haven't believed in yourself or that you've put everybody else first? Like, how do you create new reroutes?

I call this a reset. And I took a class with a woman. Her name is Andrea quin. And SHE caused these moments when we fail or people knocked us down. Good to nose.

Hey man, I did not appreciate you um getting me back focused on detecting deception when I wanted to talk about leadership to know they're just a bunch of good to know I spoke an event in forty two women in line hugger, the last woman he had big circle glasses, black ass glasses circle right. I'm short, spiky hair SHE shed a cool vibe. I thought he came up to me and he said, hey, um I wanted to stay here and to talk you because I just don't get that you speak twice today.

I don't get what you're talking about, how it's interesting to people. I don't like your personality. I just don't get what my best friend who have had for years likes about you all.

Gene would have received that taken IT in influence, my body language, how I held myself, my limited beliefs, my roots with the industry. Because thanks, Andrea queen. I said to that woman, have you been there? Good to know anything else you wanted. Share me.

It's just three simple words. And IT is so powerful. And I just want to explain the research just a little bit as to why this is working. This is a reframe.

See when somebody says something crappy to you, or something happens to you, and you go up into your head and you start to say to yourself, now, the pillon, oh, you know, SHE didn't like me. Forty one people that I just met really liked to me, but that one bitch just came up and told me that he doesn't like me. And now i'm going to start to question myself, feel bad about myself.

When you say good to know you are putting up a physical force field and you're not letting that negativity step into your brain. Good to know is like swatting away a fly. Now, does this work for everybody? Have you, have you used good to know with your kids? For example, gene.

my son Angus, this girlfriend just broke up with him. His first girlfriend, he's all. And SHE was bad mouthing him at the school.

And he he broke his heart and he was just saying something oud enough for him to hear IT and he came in and he's laughing. He just looked the at test this this weekend. He came out laughing at the school. And why you're laughing because SHE wanted me to take the bate, but I didn't take the bate.

SHE said I didn't in texture this morning so he used, she's going to hate me for the rest of her life, but I was going to say happy birthday if I saw I didn't texter because he broke up with me, but I won't said that if I had a loan time with her and he goes, SHE bad mouth me and I go, why you laughing? He goes, because it's just a good to know. I saw aside about her that I didn't know existed. I love sharing IT with people, including my kids, and to rewrite our story. And because I believe we are all entitled and deserve a come back everybody.

I believe in that twigging. It's why i'm in the work that i'm in. I believe that absolutely everybody has the ability to call their way out of a hole to improve their mindset and to chip away at making their life Better.

I you can't convince me otherwise. I'd love to talk a little bit more about boosting our influence and our liability because IT really does matter, especially when IT comes to success at work and increasing your influence in your visibility. So how can we use body language to do that?

Alright, confident and likeable, we have three power zones. So our neck temple.

it's our throw grade here, are not .

like the little that the .

dip in OK OK.

where you know your neck is lizer right there. So your neck employee with your neck, your belly button. And then in a lower extreme, I caught your naughty bits.

It's from the holy grail. But you're learning today, you're going to practice, say, today and to pay attention to belly button. So keep our necks, temple our belly button and are not is open.

Now let's talk about the belly button. I call this naval intelligence. We face our belly button towards people we like, admire and trust.

So if i'm not flirting with bread pit, but my belly button is facing George colony, everyone thinks i'm farting the bread. I want to hook up a bread, but really my belly button wants to go home with a gool George in a meeting. Count out how many buttons are facing.

If you have fifty percent of the belly button facing someone else, then that person is probably your arcon emmis. And if I were to give you a tip, emotional intelligence is being smarter. I would make sure I have meetings with that person first to get them on my side before going into that other meeting to get fifty percent of the years are listening to that person on a date.

Pay attention if the date is over. I'm a talker, right? So are you like talking past to sale, even an an an intimate thing, like on a date? I pay attention.

That belly button is angle towards the door to the car they want. I call IT naval intelligence. And it's our first connection to another human being. Our belly button was expected to the local court.

let's say, a really nervous person. What are the steps you need to take to calm your own, as you say, stink and thinking when IT takes over?

First of all, give yourself a positive trade. Really plant that seed, they believe. And then if you need to specify, do top push PS inside your shoes, one, two and three inside your shoes.

We are not going to.

It's getting out that stress and anxiety.

wow.

that's why exercise decreases stress. In the enforcement, we get more confessions, walking from the jail cell back to the interrogation room, or the interrogation room to the police car. Then we do in the interrogation room. When you move your body.

you move your mind. What do you think is the biggest thing that you've learned after decades of studying human beings and this hidden second language that we all have, let's helping in your everyday life?

The biggest thing that i've learned, I would say that I believe in combats because i've experienced them. I believe in combats and I believe. There's a story behind the story.

Susan Smith was the most hated mother in the world at the time when he killed her two Young sons because we're dating a guy that didn't want to date and woman who had kids. But Susan Smith around her two kids, and what most people don't know is SHE started being raped and molested by her father at like three and four years old. So makes me emotional as a mother.

Just imagine like IT at age of three. And i'm not saying what Susan Smith did was justified, but I am saying there's a story behind a story. And you know this is that expression stopping so judgmental, stopping curious, asking questions.

And I think that there's a story behind this story. And Susan Smith was raped by her dad, her whole childhood um even as a Young woman and then in her Young teams would go back to the dad's house and have in her sex with her dad. And so i'm always interested in what's the story behind the story here? Can I find a little bit of compassionate empathy? And i'm a working progress all the time.

I'm an eternal student. I was at this event this morning. I SAT in there for five hours because I wanted to learn. I took about five pages of notes just listening to two ceos who this company pilot just hit the billion dollar mark for the first time. I want to hear every word they had to say.

They were asked, what's the biggest thing that they learned on at networking together in their life? And i'm taking notes, right? So I think that I don't know. I believe in .

complex gene. I just have to say, I love you like you go in from ball buster cop talk to getting choked up because of the compassion that you feel for somebody that did something so horrible. And yet you can look at her story and find understanding not that condones IT, but that explains how somebody could get to such a horrific point.

I just love you, and I know everybody listening does two. And one of the thing I want to point out this, everyone is a woman who stands on a stage and teaches the world's leading brands, which she's just been teaching to us. And yet I just want you to picture her sitting in the back of the room where SHE was the keynote speaker, getting paid a lot of money to share her expertise, sitting there like a student, taking notes and listening.

Because at the end of the day, there is always something that you can learn from anybody else. And when you look at life, like just you're just a student of life, their opportunities to learn, to make a feedback, to be Better everywhere around you. And so I just love that picture in my mind.

If you sitting in the back of this massive corporate event, diligently taking notes, you're just the greatest. Thank you. And I also believe in what you are talking about, which is when you seek to understand something. IT doesn't condone what somebody did, but I can explain why.

Listen, I was molested as a kid, became a Susan smith. I happened to have a mother that loves me so much that believed to me. And if I can help anyone like, please, I love, you know, my mother is, said, your powers, but you .

give to others training. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I just appreciate your generosity. I know i'm speaking on behalf of you listening as well.

Thank you for pouring into us, for bringing your humor, your humanity, for giving us so many tools. I just, I just wanted freeze you. I love you so much.

And I also want to kick you out here because you and I could talk for days and you got ta get back to that room where you will take a note yesterday as a student and get on that stage and wow, everybody with your wisdom. All right. So i'm not going to make you late.

go. Women, bye. We love you. Everybody, thanks. Now, I love you. I love you. I give you you an air hug when you arrive. So when I book and IT with an air hug back, thank you.

I'm just sitting here reflecting on everything we just learned, and I realized my biggest take away is that this is really about trusting your intuition. That's what decoding body language and seeing words that don't match body language. That's what this is about.

And you've been listening this podcast. So, you know, I talk a lot about your little wisdom, and every time you catch somebody touching their eyes or struggling their shoulders or I blocking, they're not looking at you or someone just feels a little off lean into that. And you now have the tools because you can not only spot IT, but gene also told us how to approach IT member, what he told us to say, I could be wrong here, but something seems little off for you.

okay. Or maybe you had plans to get to dinner and somebody just kind of shrugged your shoulder, touches her neck. You know what to do when that spider sense, that intuition inside you goes off clean into that all you have to do is say, I could be wrong here, but IT doesn't seem like you wanna go out to dinner tonight that's IT that is IT but that everything isn't IT.

That is everything that ability to connect with yourself and with your own wisdom, and empower yourself to not only see the signals, but find the courage and the confidence to say something about IT, to trust yourself. Wow, what a conversation from true crime to truth telling to true deception. We covered IT all.

I'm confident that you left with empowering and tactical tools that you can start using. In fact, I want to hear about how use all the and in case nobody else tells you, i'm going to tell you that I love you and i'm looking right at you like this. My shoulders are not trumped.

My hand is not on the back of my head. I am looking at you in the, because I love you, and I believe in you, and I believe in your ability to not only tell you, but to spot the truth and use IT to create a Better life. Already will see you in a few days.

Oh, one more. It's the legal language. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes and is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physical professional coach, psychotherapist or other qualified professional.

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