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cover of episode Harvard Professor Says THIS Is the Secret to Success (It’s Not What You Think)

Harvard Professor Says THIS Is the Secret to Success (It’s Not What You Think)

2023/6/15
logo of podcast The Mel Robbins Podcast

The Mel Robbins Podcast
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Dr. Luana Marques
M
Mel Robbins
一位专注于领导力和个人成长的著名_motivational speaker_和播客主持人。
Topics
Mel Robbins：逃避是阻碍我们获得最佳生活的隐秘习惯，它比自我怀疑和恐惧更深层次。它无处不在，从简单的邮件回复到重大的生活抉择，都在影响着我们。 Dr. Luana Marques：逃避是阻碍我们获得最佳生活的原因，它使我们成为自身思维和行为的囚徒。焦虑的根本问题不是焦虑本身，而是我们采取的逃避行为。作者通过自身经历说明，逃避行为会带来焦虑和孤独感。作者的祖母通过“暴露疗法”帮助她克服了逃避行为，这改变了她的生活轨迹。我们经常会为逃避行为找借口，但逃避实际上是在剥夺我们的人生。逃避行为会强化大脑中对威胁的联想，加剧焦虑。将恐慌症与特定地点联系起来是错误的，它应该被视为内在情绪问题。长期逃避只会加剧焦虑，因为你无法长期逃避。逃避的两个方面：感知到的威胁和逃避行为的长期代价。逃避的长期代价远大于短期舒适感。我们对自身叙事的掌控能力，决定了我们能否克服逃避。逃避行为贯穿人生始终，需要持续的努力去克服。我们逃避是因为我们避免面对现实。 Dr. Luana Marques：大脑无法区分真实的威胁和感知到的威胁，逃避是其自我保护机制。认知行为疗法 (CBT) 是一种以行动为导向的疗法，旨在改变我们的思维方式、行为和感受。CBT 的第一步是暂停，理解引发焦虑的思维、情绪和行为模式。记录下你的想法、感受和行为，可以帮助你暂停焦虑循环。书写可以帮助前额叶皮层（负责理性思考）与杏仁核（负责情绪反应）竞争资源，从而减轻焦虑。CBT 并非强迫积极思维，而是通过重塑思维模式来改变行为。我们之所以停滞不前，是因为我们逃避行动。逃避行为是所有挣扎的根源。CBT 治疗的第一步是识别逃避行为，并找到一个舒适但略微超出舒适区的临界点。对于孩子半夜下床的问题，需要零容忍，帮助他们学会在自己的床上忍受不适感。所有这些逃避行为都只是我们无法忍受自身不适情绪的表现。

Deep Dive

Chapters
Mel introduces the episode and the guest, Dr. Luana Marques, discussing the sneaky habit of avoidance that affects everyone.
  • Avoidance is a pervasive habit in everyone's life.
  • Dr. Luana Marques is the world's leading expert on avoidance.
  • Avoidance robs people of the magic they are capable of experiencing.

Shownotes Transcript

According to Harvard professor Dr. Luana Marques, there is one sneaky habit that holds every single person back – and no one knows what it is.

 

When she reveals the habit that holds you back, your first reaction will be to stop and think.

 

And as you listen to her explain it and give you examples, you’ll be shocked that you’ve never before seen it in yourself or heard anyone else point it out to you… until now.

 

You’re not the only one.

 

I didn’t know about this habit until I was introduced to Dr. Marques’ work.

 

What you learn today will change how you think about success, influence, mindset, and even anxiety and procrastination.

 

This sneaky habit has been holding you back and you didn’t even realize how pervasive it is in your life.

 

It’s not self-doubt. It’s not fear. It’s something even deeper.

 

I want you to listen, because she’s the world’s leading expert on the topic, and this is one of those episodes that will make you never look at life the same again.

 

Xo Mel

 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • 1:00: The sneaky habit that’s holding you back, according to Dr. Luana Marques
  • 3:00: Dr. Marques’ story will inspire you and explain how she discovered these tools.
  • 7:30: Why this specific habit is keeping you from your best life.
  • 9:00: How this habit leads to anxiety and panic at work.
  • 13:00: Dr. Marques’ turning point in finding the success she has, against all odds.
  • 22:00: Unpacking exactly what this habit is and how it holds you back, including your body’s response.
  • 27:30: The lie you keep telling yourself.
  • 30:00: This is how your brain is working against you.
  • 33:00: Simple tools from CBT Therapy research that make a difference.
  • 36:00: Exactly what to do when your thoughts spin and how to change your mindset immediately.
  • 42:00: This approach works even if you don’t believe it.
  • 43:30: How do you stress less and find more peace?
  • 47:00: The first thing Dr. Marques does when helping her clients change.
  • 50:00: How these strategies apply to parenting and family.

 

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