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How to Deal With Difficult People: One Trick to Live a More Peaceful & Fulfilled Life
2024/5/18
The Mel Robbins Podcast
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Dr. Ramani Durvasula
M
Mel Robbins
一位专注于领导力和个人成长的著名_motivational speaker_和播客主持人。
Mel Robbins：分享了自身经历，强调了与难相处的人（尤其自恋型人格）相处带来的困扰，以及保持积极心态和设定界限的重要性。她还介绍了Dr. Ramani Durvasula及其新书《It's Not You》，并分享了自己从Dr. Ramani那里学到的经验，例如自恋型人格的特征、成因以及他们不会改变的事实。她鼓励听众积极寻求帮助，并分享了该集内容，希望帮助更多人。
Dr. Ramani Durvasula：详细阐述了自恋型人格的特征和行为模式，以及这些行为模式对受害者造成的影响。她强调了“彻底接受”（radical acceptance）的重要性，即接受自恋型人格不会改变，并且这不是受害者的错。她指出，对自恋型人格改变的希望是阻碍疗愈的最大障碍，并解释了为什么人们会留在自恋型关系中。她还讨论了悲伤、不公正感以及反复思考在疗愈过程中的作用，并提出了应对这些问题的策略，例如“12个月的净化期”、“坏事清单”（ick list）以及“进入老虎笼子”（going into the tiger's cage）等。此外，她还分析了在自恋型家庭系统中不同成员的角色（例如金牌孩子、替罪羊、拯救者、调解人、隐形孩子和真相讲述者），以及如何应对自恋型父母去世后家庭系统中存在的复杂问题。最后，她强调了愤怒在疗愈过程中的积极作用，以及如何帮助孩子从自恋型父母的影响中恢复。
Mel Robbins: This episode focuses on how to deal with difficult people, particularly those with narcissistic personality disorder. The main takeaway is that hoping for the difficult person to change is the biggest barrier to healing. Instead, focus on changing your own approach and setting healthy boundaries. The expert, Dr. Ramani Durvasula, emphasizes the importance of radical acceptance—accepting that the person won't change and that it's not your fault. She also discusses the grief, injustice, and rumination that often accompany these situations and provides practical tools for healing, such as the 12-month cleanse, the ick list, and the tiger's cage exercise. The episode also touches upon the roles people often play in narcissistic family systems and how to navigate those dynamics, especially when co-parenting with a narcissist. The importance of self-care and seeking professional help is also highlighted.
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