Father's Day 2020 Special - Dadturday Night Live!
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Okay, you can do this. I know, I know. Carvana makes it so convenient to sell your car. It's just hard to let go. My car and I have been through so much together. But look, you already have a great offer from Carvana. That was fast. Well, I know my license plate and Vin by heart, and those questions were easy. You're almost there. Now to just accept the offer and schedule a pickup or drop-off. How'd you do it? How are you so strong in letting go of your car? Well, I already made up my mind, and Carvana's so easy. Yeah, true.

And sold. Go to Carvana.com to sell your car the convenient way. Live from the Forgotten Realms at the BBC, the Bullywugs Broadcast Center, it's Saturday Night Live, starring Daryl Wilson. I'm just like leaning up against like a door in the middle of New York City holding a pizza and I wink.

Henry Oak! Ooh, Henry is sampling from a farmer's market in this cool neon street in New York City. Glenn Close! Glenn is like tuning up the guitar and does the old like, oh, I didn't see you there. And then the bandmates behind him just look pissed. It's like, why have you not tuned yet? Ron Stampler! It's literally just a bad headshot and the audience doesn't even clap that much. And introducing your host, Peyton Bennett!

Payton is like chasing down the host of this week's show with a knife. Welcome to Dad or Day Night Live. It's an advice show where people call in asking for advice about fatherhood and you're gonna get it from these four daddies. You're gonna get advice from these four daddies and me, Payton, your main man, who's a daddy in spirit, I'd like to think. We're gonna be taking calls, which means just shout real loud from wherever you are in your village. Hey, Payton.

Hi, Henry here. I just want to say, I think it's really nifty that you have your own show here at the Bullywogs Broadcast Center. I think that's so cool. You're such an enterprising eight-year-old. I just want to say, you're doing a great job, kid. You're going to go places. Yeah, I'm doing it on spec. We're not actually recording right now. I just feel like I want to get people hyped up about it. Are we asking the questions? No, Ron. Opposite.

Oh, we're answering them, Ron. That's great. I'm not a great asker, but I'm a great answerer. I'm looking forward to meeting all of these new voices. Oh, wow. My resident stones are just lighting up in this bag here. Stone one. Who do we got? Happy Father's Day. What would you say are some things you should or shouldn't do or say when you discover that you're going to be a dad?

Thank you. Thank you, Sophie P. You know, when both of my boys were born, I had like a poem ready that I wrote for them. And then, you know, it was kind of like my little welcome to Earth moment for the two boys and for Mercedes. You punched him in the face and said, welcome to Earth. Well, the one thing you don't want to do is you don't want to say, who's the father? And then like, you know, raise your eyebrows. Uh-huh.

No, I did. I had to ask that. Well, yeah, you did. You did, Ron. That makes sense. I think something that you wouldn't want to say, which is this is a joke of sorts. You wouldn't want to be like, well, is it terminal, doctor? Is it serious? Is there something I can take for that?

That's dark, man. Well, that's why it's a joke. Well, you know, I would say that if you do discover you're going to be a dad, first things first is you're going to make sure you check what the various financial support needs are depending on your relationship with whoever it is. I'm just kidding. You know, playing Christmas music doesn't actually mean you sleep around a lot. Actually, a lot of people think that, but no, it's not. I don't think I ever heard that. Is that something that people think that? I didn't think that.

No? No. But I do want to say that, you know, if you do sleep around with a lot of people, that's okay too, Glenn. You know, it doesn't really have anything to do with the question that was being asked, but, you know. A question for adventuring dads. When your child is old enough, what would your recommendation be for a first pet? Cat, dog, rabbit, or something more exotic like a snake? Thank you for that question, Rob. I would say a knife. First. A knife. A knife.

Was that your first pet, Peyton? First, last, and only. What did you name it? I don't want to say Stabby because that's really obvious.

You could just say whatever the actual name was. You don't have to. Don't press us by coming up with something funny or cool. Like if his name was Stabby, that's okay. You're eight. No one expects you to be a grown man who would come up with something funny like in an improv setting. Here's the thing about knives. Much like enemies, they lose some of their sharpness if you know their name. The mystique is part of its allure. The only time you'll know its name is when it's about to enter your neck.

That's what she said. I mean, dogs. Dogs are a man's best friend. Or all people's. Y'all's best friends. All man, woman, everybody's best friends.

Yeah, I agree in that a pet is something that should be cherished and potentially married. Me, Ron Stampler, I met the love of my life posing as a pet, and maybe she thought she was getting a pet, but maybe she thought she was getting a partner. All I mean is it's the same thing. It's a lifelong commitment till death do you part, and thankfully hamsters die early.

I'll pick up on what Ron's laying down there. I think, you know, call me crazy. I think a classic starter pet is like a, like a guppy fish or a gerbil. It's something your kids can love, but you know, it's, you know, sometimes you need that important conversation about death to kind of help them work through that and process that. And I'm not saying that you buy a pet that you know is going to die soon, but you know, like sometimes that's already dead. That is what you just said though. I definitely said, I, I,

It's not what I'm trying to say is I guess because it sounds a little cruel when you say it that way. So I'm trying to say the same thing. I don't want to give my kid a dead animal. I'm not. That's like a meal. I'm not going to be like, here's a cow. I'd still say a dog. Just get them like a really old dog. Yeah, I guess you could get them a really old dog that is going to die soon. You could get them like I feel like what's nice about a guppy is that it dies. I can't believe I'm saying that.

And you won't care about it very much. Let's be honest. Do you know the name of your first guppy? I had guppies. I don't remember the name of my first guppy. Who's your point, man? Nobody gets a guppy. I got like 10 guppies because you just scoop them up from the local pond. And you put them in a jar and then you forget. I don't know about you guys, but I forgot the air holes. I was like four. And that was a whole jar of dead guppies. No offense, Daryl, but I don't know if you're the right one to maybe tackle this question. But it sounds like you guys have a family dog, though, and that's working out great for you.

Well, yeah, but Grant lost it. That's okay. Oh, great. Oh, okay. Well, maybe start, maybe next time get Grant a guppy. Hi. Out of all of the movies you've taken your kids to go and see, which one did you think that you would hate going into it, but you turned out to absolutely love, and now you have to pretend that you don't like it at all? Thank you for that, Sean. That's an easy one, man.

Those those Minions movies. I thought I was like, nah, I can't get over it. But those guys are great. I love those little banana boys. I'm right there with you, Glenn. I love those guys, man. They're great. They're hilarious. Have you seen this online that sometimes people take pictures of the Minions and they put funny words with them or like a funny little saying? It'll be like, don't talk to me before I've had my coffee like that stuff that, you know, man, those just those just kill me. Of course, I'm kidding. Minions suck.

Oh, well, I kind of trusted you on that one. And now I kind of feel like... Yeah, I'm just kidding. They're great. It's the only thing Universal puts out that I can stand. You know what I mean? You're as wacky as one of those wacky minions. That's what I think. That's kind of where I kept my sense of off-tilt sense of humor from. I just think, what would the minions do in this situation? I always chuckle.

And that's kind of been a big part of informing kind of what I do on a day to day, man. That really had an effect on me. But like, I guess there's some hate for minions. So, yeah, minions suck. And I'm winking at you. You know, I mean, I get you. It's one of those ironic thing to say. Hey, say, here's here's a funny minion joke from one of the big pictures that I saw on my Facebook wall. How do you and there's a little picture of a minion frowning at an empty coffee cup. How do you feel when there's no coffee? Depresso.

Anyway, I was going to say Zootopia for my movie. I feel like that movie. I was like, here we go. I don't really take a shining to talking animal movies, but you know, that movie had a lot of really important, powerful things to say about prejudice and how we should treat each other. And I was just like, dang, this is a good one.

Frankly, pretty much any movie that's not Primer I like. You know, you put it in front of me, I can relax. I drink a beer, I'm happy. I was going to say that Terry wanted to take the bus to go downtown, and I said, no, I don't want to do that. But then we ended up riding the bus, and it was very nice because you can listen to music, look at your phone, and you don't have to worry about paying attention to the road. So that was...

That was great. So you had a good time on public transpo? Yeah, we were moving. Oh, yeah. That's my favorite type of movie. I get it. I like Ubers, too. I think Ron says it, but I don't think Ron gets it. Or Lyft, rather. It sounds like you might have liked the movie Taxi with Queen Latifah. I have never seen it.

If you had to have one of the other dads as your dad, which dad would dad you and why? Thank you, Calvin S. Cuckley. If I had to have one of you gentlemen as my dad, I think Peyton would be really cool if he was your dad, Daryl. Oh, shucks. Oh, God.

I think Peyton, you know I love you little dude. Yeah. But I think you got a lot of growing to do before you can, you know, have a kiddo. Excuse me. I mean, do you want to have a kid right now? Peyton's probably killed more people than most dads have killed people. Well, let me ask a question. Peyton, do you want to have a kid right now? No, but I would step up. I would take that responsibility out of myself. That's a great response, Peyton, because I was just going to say that I would like you to be my dad. Peyton.

Paid in from that answer. I changed my answer. I think I'd want you to be my dad also. That's a good answer. It's too late, Daryl. It's too late. He's my dad. Hey, there's plenty of paid to go rap, baby. Hey, Glenn, do you want to say each other so that we're not left out? Like I was going to say that I'd want you to be my dad because you seem really laid back. Oh, that's crazy. I was about to say I want me to be my own dad, too. I walked into that one, you scamp. Oh, that's dad always razzing on me.

Ha! Classic dad. Hey, Dungeon Daddy dudes. I got a question for you. How do you turn your kids' gross gnarly days into a totally tubular day? You're watching? What are you watching? Go on the go. Oh, yeah? Can Dad talk? Yeah, I can. Are you sure? Yeah. I was asking a question to the Dungeon Dads. What do you think? Yeah, you do it.

Thank you so much, Brad Ryan. Depends on the age of the kiddo. Hey, gross gnarly days can hit anybody at any time. And see, for me, what I do is I'll go to Disneyland or get some ice cream or both. You know, there's ice cream at Disneyland, which is great. What about when your son Terry is having a tough day, Glenn? What?

Isn't your son Terry? When you and Terry are having a tough time, like how do you cheer up Terry? Are you talking to me? I don't understand. What do you mean? Terry is Glenn's son. Nick is your son.

Right? No, I think you got that flip, my man. Oh, have I been doing that wrong this whole time? Oh, jeepers. Okay, this is, I'm sorry. It's just people under 15, I have a tough time keeping track of names. It's, you know, I just kind of have like a face blindness when it comes to kids. You can use that to get out of jury duty if there's ever like a crime involving a kid. You're right, if I'm ever on, if there's ever a kid murder where a kid murders another kid, you know, and I was the witness, I wouldn't have to testify. I will keep that in mind. Yeah.

You're right, Peyton. Henry, there would be an unreliable witness for anything you do. Yeah, I'm going to call him first. Well, I've always felt that the best move to turn a gnarly day for whenever Nick's feeling down is a little trick I call Amazon gift card. Oh. It's an Amazon gift card.

I don't know if I want Glenn to be my dad anymore. Dang, man. You don't like Amazon? I mean, I get the politics around Bezos and stuff, but it is just kind of a nice, convenient way to get things. You know, that's true. If you're someone who shows your affection through gift giving, that's true. I shouldn't judge. That's very fair. No, I think it's cool. I think it's okay to judge Henry. Hey, Glenn. Yeah. I'm not sure if the best way to always solve your kid's problems is just to give him...

Yeah, you know, Darryl, as long as we're judging people, he could try talking to his kid when he's having a problem. Oh, no. Yeah, that's always a good thing. Listen to what your kid's going through, and then, you know. No, no, hold on. And then tell them we'll talk about it later. It's dissolving. Don't get it twisted, guys. Henry, do you have something to say?

No, no, no, I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. Okay, well, I think you should go out and see your kid and see what he wants to do. Just try to take his mind off of what's going on and have a good time. Don't get it twisted. The Amazon gift card is more of a solution based on what kind of video-related things he wants to see and what kind of objects or things he wishes to acquire. That only kind of narrowly solves those problems, which is, I think, 90% of kids' problems. Yeah.

I think if you're having a gnarly, gross day, you can wait until the next day and then it might not be the same day anymore. You know what, Ron? That's actually a pretty, that's a good, sometimes you just gotta let a kid go through things. Like, we all, you don't, kids gotta grow up. Sometimes, you know, think about the bad days you have. You always want somebody bothering you about it. My thought on this is that gnarly, gross days call for a hug and totally tubular days call for a high five.

And that's the news from Lake Wobegon, where... Is there anyone? Never mind. Another question. Hey, dads. Long-time listener, first-time caller. I have a two-part question. First, can you talk about how your personal definition of masculinity has changed since having a son?

And second, if you had to choose to have nipples for eyes or eyes for nipples, which would you choose? Thank you for that question. Chersty Chippendale. Peyton, can you clarify that? I don't know about that first part of the question. The second one seems a little more interesting. What was the second one? What was that? Nipples for eyes? The second one was if you were cursed and had to choose between having nipples for eyes or eyes for nipples, which would you choose? The first one was about masculinity. I don't think it sounds like a curse. It sounds like a blessing. Well, do you lose the first one? Do you not have any more eyes at all? Like your eyes are now nipples, so you don't have eyes.

Yeah. I think that's the stipulation. Yeah. I don't know about you guys, but it does feel like if you reword that to say, what would you rather have, extra nipples or extra eyes? The answer is pretty clear.

Yeah, I'm going to go straight for extra eyes, man. Extra eyes, baby. But what if they're exclusive, though? So what happens if the other thing just becomes like skin? Do you mean like they can't see other nipples? Yeah. No, I don't know. I mean, like, your eyes have to go on your chest. Yeah, I think he's saying like where it's just about a positioning thing. It's either the nipples are where your eyes would be. No, wait, this is the same way. You're right. I understand what you're saying now. It has to be that way, yeah. It's either you have more eyes or more.

More nipples. No, hold on, because I think it means... No, it's not reversing. Oh, gosh, what a riddle. You're right. I don't think I understand the question. Yeah, either your two eyes turn into two nipples or your two nipples turn into two eyes. And I would much rather have four eyes and no nipples than four nipples and no eyes. I agree. I would like my left nipple to be my right eye and then my right eye to go to the location of my left nipple.

Please. So you just want your eyes backwards on your chest is what you're saying. Yeah, I want a completely normal life, except that my left nipple has switched places with my right eye. Oh, so you've got kind of an eye patch thing going on. You've got the most horrifying eye patch reveal ever. Cocked and loaded. Yes.

Anybody have any thoughts on the first question about how your definition of masculinity changed? I think I'll take a shot on the first question, which is that, you know, before I had my two beautiful boys, I thought that being a man was all about just being really tough and really single-minded and always knowing what to do. And then I had these two beautiful boys and they were these...

I'm a father.

I thought that I couldn't possibly be more manly and masculine. But I learned after becoming a stepfather and stepping up that I was wrong. That's it, huh?

That's it. What were you wrong about? That you could become more manly? Is that what the... Oh, no. My manliness, my masculinity has increased to such a degree that a previous life Ron who thought that he could not be any manlier, well, that guy just looks like a sissy who didn't know anything anymore. Yeah.

I mean, yeah, I don't think much has, I mean, other than just kind of really understanding what my, I mean, my dad always taught me that not being a man, just being a good person was being there for your family. So, you know, I think when I was young, I didn't always understand that. But once I had my own kid, it's true. I don't think it changed so much as just, I really,

I really kind of learned that my dad was right. Like he usually was. Whether you've got nipples for eyes or eyes for nipples, the important thing is that you're there for your kids. Fantastic. Do you think if you had eyes for your nipples for eyes, like when you ran a marathon, like would you put Vaseline to stop them from chaff? Like your eyes would chaff, right? That'd be horrible. If you had eyes for nipples, would you wear a shirt like this or like this? You wear it with the nipples cut out like a bee. Yeah.

Well, free the nipple is free the nipple, not free the nipple. So I don't understand why anybody was ever, you know. Oh, and now they'd have to say, excuse me, my eyes are down here. Yeah. Nice.

All right, more questions. Hi, dads. I was just wondering what the first thing that you said to your sons were after they were born. Thank you for that lovely question, Ellie Salabed. Oh, this is an easy one, man. What I did was I held my fist out for a fist bump and I got it. That's how I knew that Nick was a true blue close boy. Did he return your fist bump at the age of zero?

Yes. Wow. I mean, he was kind of flailing around. I don't know how much, you know, like intention was behind it, but I felt the intention. You know what I mean? Glenn, if you felt it, your son, he fist pumped you right then. Yeah. I don't, I mean, I think honestly, I don't remember. There's a lot of emotions that happened. I mean, honestly, I probably said something like,

you're perfect or you're beautiful or, you know, there's just a lot of, well, sorry, Peyton, what do you want, man? It's a big deal when your kid comes out. Hey, Peyton, what would you say to your kid if you had a kid? Yeah, yeah, you want to be a dad? I go, hell yeah.

Okay. That's it, huh? That's it? Yeah. I'd see the kid and be like, ooh, looks like me, but small. Hell yeah. You know, that's really positive. I think that it's good to show enthusiasm. Gosh, for me, there was a lot of weepy crying. And then, you know, I stammered out the sort of contemporaneous poem that sprung to my mind as I saw my two beautiful boys. You remember any lines from that poem, Henry? Oh, it's been so long, but the words are still etched in my heart. Let's see if I can remember them.

Oh, joyous leaves that have sprung forth from the grounds of my me.

Me and my wife's love. Why did you ask for this? You know what? It's okay. I get it. That's cool. I love it. Like flowers shall you bud and face the sun and I shall cherish and love and water and protect you and fill you with joy and fertilize your soil, but not in a gross way.

in like a way that it's a plant metaphor for all your days. My beautiful boys. I love you. Namaste. I think that was the poem. I might've loved a line or two in there, but that was the poem I think. And again, there was a lot of crying going on. Ron, what did you say when you first met your kid? Cause like, you probably remember that. I mean, it's probably more recent, right? Yeah, it was. It was nerve wracking. Uh, yeah, I, uh, well, uh, Samantha had, uh,

Wow.

Oh, man. Well, you guys, you put the work in, Ron. You guys are doing really well now. We are. You know, I like to stay on my toes because I, whenever I'm in doubt of what to say, to give words of encouragement to my stepson, Terry Jr., I just say, hi, I'm Ron. Hey, Payton, you want to do another question there? Yeah, I do. I had a question for you guys. My wife and I are due soon.

Now questions from Eric Bahorkas. Hmm.

Interesting. You can fall asleep to that one. That galloping beat, you know, kind of just lulls you to sleep. Yeah. I think it works pretty well. I found it works pretty good. You don't turn it up, Henry. Like, you know, you keep it nice and quiet, but... You know, I feel the same way about my favorite lullaby, Greensleeves.

which is a classic. I mean, as the kids say, that shit slaps. You put green sleeves on, that baby's going to sleep. And, you know, that was always like, you know, maybe you play it on a nice recorder or a lute. Like, you know, I find that medieval music really, really soothes the nerves of a wee baby. Slap.

That baby. No, no, Peyton. That's actually a little bit of vernacular from our world, which I think refers to the slap of a slap base is I think where that comes from. I was just willing to go with you on it. I thought it was kind of creepy, but I was like, I'll support Henry. Like, whatever. He seems confident. Yeah, you don't. Well, yeah, the doctor might. Do they even do that anymore? Unless they're choking on something, in which case I think you want to slap him on the back. It's been a while since I had to do that. I think you do like a suction thing, don't you?

No. No, Glenn. It's like a... It's depending on the age. It's like a put them over your forearm and do a little back slap sort of thing. I don't know about the suction thing. Ha ha ha!

No, there is. There's like a suction thing. No, what do you mean? No, I mean, you don't have to elaborate. It sounds wrong. So maybe I'll just say that Daryl and his friend Matt didn't learn that in any classes preparing for a baby. Oh, Daryl, I didn't know you had a friend named Matt. Who's your friend, Matt? I think every white guy has a friend named Matt. Every woman is dated three Matt. Except for my wife. She only dated one. Oh, who?

Who is it? Carol dated your friend, Matt? Is that what you just said? Yep, that's what I said. Wow. I thought you guys met in high school. He must have been like her junior high boyfriend or something. Yeah, probably.

He was probably awesome. Hey, Peyton, who did you say asked that question? That was Eric Bohorquez. Oh, that's so wild. My, well, she's more than a friend, less than a lover. Beth May actually went to high school with a man named Eric Bohorquez. And speaking of lullabies, they seem to have a song that they knew by heart that I think would be great for kids. It's called Lose Yourself by Eminem.

I know all the lyrics, of course, but if Eric is looking for ideas, maybe he could think back to those high school times and spit a verse for his upcoming son. Delightful. All right. I used to... Can you spill the tea on Beth May of this guy? It sounds like there's something there. Yeah, well, I know that she'd say like, oh my God, Eric, so good to hear from you. Love you. I'm so excited for you and Christina. Woo!

I think that's what she would say. That's my bad impression. Ron, that's a good impression. That's an insanely good impression. Wow, Ron. Holy shit. Let's have one last question. All right. Hey, guys. If you were to create the ideal perfect dad Powerpuff Girls style...

what traits must be included and why. Thank you again, Maddie Gillespie, for that final question. Oh, I love that. Do we all want to say one and then like that'll be the perfect dad? Like whatever each one of us says? Yeah. We're all standing around the big pot of chemical X and we've all got to throw in something to make the perfect Powerpuff Dad. So Glenn, why don't you kick us off?

2020 vision. You can't get a bit anything. Gee whiz is a glasses where I feel kind of subtly attacked by that. No, that's a good answer because they got laser surgery. You think you can fix yourself right? I'm just saying it's important that the dad have it's nice and sharp. So that way, any sort of threats from afar, like any sort of like rogue vehicles or what have you, you got plenty of warning.

That's a good answer, Glenn, because I was just going to say I was just going to say the best trait would be to be my dad, like just throw my dad in there. And he didn't have 2020 vision. So, like, I never thought it could be better than my dad. But I guess my dad with better vision really likes his dad. She would be good. OK, so we have 2020 vision. Daryl's dad. Ron, what would you throw in? Maybe a few receipts.

My dad kept receipts. And then... Gotta do that. No, just, you know, like the receipts you might keep in pockets or something. Oh, that's a good idea. Can I change your mind to having a wallet chain? Yeah.

I think a lot of dads have hairy arms, and then some do not have hair on their heads. Okay. If they did, that'd be cool. And maybe like, I don't know, like big bottles of ketchup, because dads love ketchup. And then maybe like a... I was kind of thinking one ingredient each, but keep going, keep going. This is good. You know, there's no wrong answers.

Why don't you pick your favorite one of those? We each put one thing in. I just put in one thing, my dad. Glenn put one thing in, 2020 vision. Although it sounds like Glenn wants to change what he's putting into wallet change. Okay. Yeah, because that way your dad will never lose the wallet, and then your dad will never be not without his ID and stuff, which is always important to have on you. I would like to put in...

Also Daryl's dad. Wow. Okay, so we've got...

Daryl's dad, a wallet chain, another version of Daryl's dad. Gosh, what do I want to throw in here? I think I'd put in a copy of the book Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, which is all about a son and a father. And, you know, I thought that was a really good book. So I'd put that in there. And then maybe also like in the book. So it still counts as one item. I'd put like a link to a Google sheet that has a list of a whole bunch of other really good books about fatherhood. That's good. That's good.

What about you, Peyton? Two knives. One for each dad. Okay, Peyton. Hey, Peyton, let me ask you a question. Have you ever thought about... What? Like, holding... Instead of holding just one knife, what if you had two knives? No, but... Glenn, what...

Well, now that you've said it, that's all I'm going to think about. I thought that this was supposed to be for one dad. If we're having more than one dad, I don't think why I can't put in a bunch of other stuff, like some flannel and maybe some chewing gum. Oh, you know who that is? Chewing gum is important. Ron, take us out just throwing everything you want to throw into this dad gumbo. Let's do it. Okay. Let's see. A Kentucky State Magnet.

Yeah, yeah. One of those Bic pens that doesn't really work very well and the end is kind of chewed off. But they also never run out of ink for some reason. Ron, this is redundant. You're just describing my dad. Keep going. I would throw in like a remote that's been chewed up by a dog. And then I would throw in like a napkin that somebody sneezed into. And then...

unused bottle of hand sanitizer and then a... Real good. Maybe just a few, like, packing boxes, like an Amazon box or something. And then, you know, a stuffed animal or something, but then also some naughty sex things. Okay. A good board game and then a wide-ruled notebook paper. Um...

And a watch from Rite Aid. Well, thank you so much, everyone, for listening to our first ever Daddy Day College Show. Thanks to all of our Patreon supporters for sending in all those great questions. We couldn't get to all of them, but thank you for sending them anyway. You can find out more and join our Patreon at patreon.com slash dungeons and dads. That's the end of the show, everyone. That's the end of Dadder Day Night Live. Thanks to our musical guest, Sting. Ha ha ha ha.

Thanks to 21 Pilots. Happy Father's Day. Maybe you don't celebrate Father's Day, but just in case, we're celebrating it for you by being your fathers.

Happy Father's Day. Hold on. Sorry, Beth. I do need to jump in there. We are not your fathers in any sort of financial obligation sense. Legally, we are not your fathers. Please sign this form that says Dungeons and Daddies LLC is not your fathers. Happy Father's Day. I'm legally all your fathers. If you send me a stationery with a legal letterhead, I will settle instantly. Terrifying.

I don't know.

Until your ultimate demise. What if we just say forever? Okay. $25 a month forever. Get unlimited talk, text, and data for just $25 a month with boost mobile forever. After 30 gigabytes, customers may experience slower speeds. Customers will pay $25 a month as long as they remain active on the boost unlimited plan. Dungeons and dags is brought to you this week by mint mobile. Uh,

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Dungeons and Dragons brought to you this week by Rocket Money. Rocket Money cancels subscriptions for you. And they also negotiate lower bills. Like, this is a thing you pay for, but guess what? It saves you money. That's how it works. How much do you think you're overpaying in subscriptions every month? Too much. 74% of people have subscriptions they've straight up forgotten about.

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Dungeons and Dimes is brought to you this week by Blue Nile. Blue Nile. You saw me standing alone. Blue Nile. Dulcet tones over there. The road to getting engaged can be long and full of memories or can be short and thrilling or anything in between. But the road to finding the perfect engagement ring, straightforward path. As the Nazgul flies. Doesn't...

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They started in 1999, one of the greatest years in video game history of all time, and they were able to focus and make a company while games like Heroes of Might and Magic 3, System Shock 2, Final Fantasy 8, Age of Empires Dose, dude. All these games were coming out, and they were still making...

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That game rules. Dungeons and Dragons is brought to you this week by Bespoke Post. Hey, Summer. Bespoke, my heart. I fucking love Bespoke Post. Bespoke. It's summertime. And they got a new premium lineup of Box of Awesome Collection. Oh, my God. Okay, so, like, you know in Dune they have the Box of Pain? Yeah. That's, like, the opposite.

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What's your favorite peaceful post, dude? Hey, can I tell you about the one I just got, bro? I just got a whiskey nosing kit. It's like you could burn stuff and get your nose up to date with whiskey, dude. I didn't just get a fucking gift. I got an opportunity. That's what they gave me. That's what they fucking gave me. They gave me the reason, finally a fucking reason to buy two

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