The 'Let Them' theory is a concept developed by Mel Robbins that encourages individuals to stop wasting time and energy trying to control other people or situations they have no control over. By simply saying 'Let Them,' individuals can regain more control over their own lives.
When you focus on controlling others, you lose sight of who they truly are and become distracted from managing your own life effectively. By letting others be, you regain clarity and control over your own decisions and emotions.
Examples include friends judging your social media posts, parents not visiting for holidays, neighbors excluding your family, or city construction causing traffic. In each case, letting go of the need to control these situations frees up mental energy.
Mel discovered the theory during her son's junior prom when she was trying to control various aspects of the event. Her daughter's simple advice to 'Let Them' helped her realize how much time she was wasting trying to manage things beyond her control.
Key rules include: adults only do what they feel like doing, you cannot make another adult change, and you cannot make someone like or love you. These rules emphasize the importance of letting others be and focusing on your own responsibilities.
The theory helps by encouraging individuals to let others live their lives without trying to control them. This approach fosters healthier relationships by allowing people to reveal their true selves, which can lead to more honest and fulfilling connections.
Express your concern by saying, 'I'm worried about you because you don't seem like yourself. How can I support you?' Then, let them make their own decisions. Avoid judging or attacking the relationship, as this can push them further away.
In household tasks, like folding laundry or stacking boxes, the theory suggests that you cannot force someone to change their habits. Instead, communicate your feelings and boundaries, then let them decide if and when to change.
Behavior is the truest form of communication. If someone doesn't act on your requests or needs, it reveals their true feelings or priorities. Accepting this can help you make better decisions about your relationships and responsibilities.
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Get ready to take your power back, and gain control over your emotions and your life. Mel Robbins says 2 simple words can help you do that, “Let Them!”
Mel’s “Let Them” Theory is her POWERFUL tool you can use TODAY to stop losing so much time trying to control others, which then actually gives you so much more control of your own life back! Mel says we have no idea how much time we’re wasting trying to control people, things and situations and that if we simply “let them” it can truly change our lives. I can’t wait to hear your revelations from this episode and what you are able to release in your own life after listening.
My friend Mel Robbins has one of the most popular podcasts in the world, called the Mel Robbins podcast, she is a New York Times best-selling author, she has seven #1 audiobooks on Audible, billions of views of her videos online, and is one of the most respected experts in the world on mindset, motivation, and behavior change thanks to her science-backed tools and relatable advice that has impacted the lives of the millions of people who follow her across 194 countries! Her brand new book *The Let Them Theory *is available now, make sure to pick up your copy!
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Chapters:
0:00 Welcome to The Jamie Kern Lima Show
8:30 - The “Let Them” Theory
17:31 - What Happens When You “Let Them”
19:45 - You Can’t Make People Like You
25:03 - You Can't Heal Another Person
27:34 - Supporting Someone In A Toxic Relationship
34:02 - Take Responsibility For Yourself
37:41 - Our Behavior Is The Truth Of Who We Are
It’s such an honor to share this podcast together with you. And please note: I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional.
This episode of The Jamie Kern Lima Show was filmed & produced by Impact Theory Studios: https://impacttheory.com/)
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