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Hi, welcome to our show, everybody. Welcome to our show. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. Thank you for being here. Thank you for being here. Take your shoes off. Take your pants. Don't take your pants off. Don't take your pants off. Well, if you want to. If you're at home and you're in the privacy of your own place, I think it's fine to take your pants off if you want. But if you are in traffic, yeah, if you're in traffic or on the train, don't take your pants off. Right. That's right. Yes.
This is an episode all about control and appropriateness. Exactly. Don't take your pants off. Unless you're Schmidt in this episode. Or a streaker. If you're one of those flashers. Or a streaker. If you're a streetcar flasher, then fine. Then do your thing. That's your thing. Forget it. We're not telling you what to do. No. You're in charge of your body's...
Episode 116, Control. It was supposed to be so simple. All Jess wanted to do was bring a hutch into her shared living space. What's wrong with that? How was she to know it would upset the delicate balance of the entire loft? Meanwhile, Schmidt feels out of control in his relationship with Cece, who is basically using Schmidt as a booty call at this point. Damn, Cece. Damn. Damn.
Now, used to calling the shots Schmidt. He can't take any more uncertainties. Here's what he does. You guessed it. He smashes Jess's hutch. That is that is absolutely ridiculous. But Jessica Day won't be so easily put out. She takes Schmidt to Venice Beach to get him to loosen up a bit. Because if you've been to Venice Beach, they loose down there. They really loose.
While there, Schmidt lets his freak flag fly. Back at home, things fall apart. Since Schmidt is the one who cooks, he's the one who cleans, he's the one who does all the grocery shopping. Jess, Winston, and Nick, they're left to fend for themselves. The place looks ridiculous, y'all. Looks like a hurricane went off in their kitchen. It turns out you can't make Schmidt better by trying to change him. This is the best he gets.
In the end, Schmidt goes back to his original controlling self as a roommate, but he learns to let Cece control the pace of their budding relationship. Now back to our show. Guys, hi. Hey, what's up? I dig this episode. I really did enjoy. Finkler Bear wrote this episode. Yeah. And it's so funny. It's very funny. And directed by the wonderful Jesse Peretz.
Shout out to Jesse Peretz. Jesse Peretz. You're like old school friends with him, right? Yeah. So I met Jesse when I did a video for Jimmy Fallon's, had like a comedy album. And I was in the video for his comedy album. He had a song called Idiot Boyfriend. And I was in this video and Jesse directed it. And it was like a spoof of a bunch of kind of 70s and 80s videos. Yeah.
And it was really fun. And I met Jessie and I met Georgie, who was our makeup artist on New Girl. I met her on that. And I met Jessie, as I've said, three times now. Did you meet Jessie? Anyway.
I met Jesse and he became my friend and his lovely wife became my friend, Sarah. And then when we were doing New Girl, I asked him to direct some episodes because he also directed some movies that I absolutely love. I did a movie with him as well. I did a movie called Our Idiot Brother. But he did. Have you guys seen the movie that Jesse directed called The Chateau?
No. Oh my God. Run, don't walk. It's so funny. It's about Paul Rudd and Romney Malco play brothers who inherit a chateau in France and they go to like claim the chateau and they meet all these like crazy characters, but it's mostly improvised. Such a funny, funny movie. Everybody watch it. It's so good. Okay. Chateau. Chateau. The chateau. It's great.
This moving on to this episode, because that's what everybody's, I guess, listening for. You know, I want to, you know, this episode was, I want to say, and maybe we could talk about it a little bit later, but I want to say this is the episode that Max Greenfield got nominated for an Emmy for.
Or submitted? How does that work? No, this is the great switcheroo of the Emmys. Yes, we both got nominated and they sent, we each got to submit an episode that would be like the example of our finest episode.
acting on the show and his episode got submitted for me and my episode got submitted for him and there was like some committee and then they were like we swear so they told us there was this mix up and then they were like but they re-sent them and everybody swears they watched the new episode and I was like
Forget about it. It's over. It's over. Neither one of us won. And we'll never know if it was the episode mix up or just our not being as good as the other, the person who won. But yes, this was his, this was his episode that he, he wanted to submit and he is fantastic in this episode. Yeah. He's it's a good performance piece for him because he gets to be all kinds of
things and real transformation happens 100% because if you know Schmidt you get to see the opposite side of Schmidt and the folks in the loft talk about it when Jess is trying to change him and that's a big no-no in this loft apparently you don't want to you don't want to know
And then we flash back into the origin of Schmidt.
She wants to try. Right. I love what he says, though, or Winston says it, says he just gets worse. Like, there's no improving. This is the best it's going to be, so don't mess with it. At least it cleans up. That's right. It'll take a turn to a bad place. What I thought, what I liked about this, just visually, you see the flashback of, was this the first time we saw a flashback of Nick, Winston, and Schmidt?
Was this the, at the same time? Because I remember this. Feels like it. I feel like it was. I had these Kawhi Leonard braids for all the basketball fans out there. So technically, Kawhi Leonard, being younger than me, stole my hairstyle from this episode. That's a fact. How dare he? That's a fact. You know he was very influenced by. 100%. By Winston's early. Has he given you a thank you?
No. Yeah. Is he paying royalties? Oh, is he? He is a New Girl fan. So this is the first time we see these braids in the episode? Yeah, it's the first time we see these braids. It's the first time we see the soul patch, I think, on Nick Miller. And I don't think this is... This is not the first time we've seen Big Schmidt.
It's not. It's not. Yeah, I think there was definitely... I'm pretty sure there was a flashback in a previous episode with Nick and Schmidt. I forgot that he vomited in that flashback. And there's something when I see someone throw up makes me so wheezy.
Me too. I do not like it. And I forgot that it happened. And so I was like watching. And then I was just like, oh, no, I would have definitely looked away if I had remembered that. Folks, for Hannah's birthday, folks, DM her all the vomit photos. Oh, my God. Don't do that. But her birthday's in August. Okay.
We also see the apartment empty. Oh yeah. Don't pass out. And I feel like the only other time we see that is in the series finale. Yeah. We see the part of empty apartments. See how big that place is. That rent must've been high, bro. Extremely high. And it's weird seeing it on TV like that. Just because I don't know. I don't know why it is. Even during like set changes, sometimes you'll come in and you'll see it empty. Yeah.
But seeing it on television like that, especially now going back to rewatch it, it's very, I don't know, it moved me in a very strange way. I will say this episode is like the true roommate episode, which is the truth of living with a roommate is the balance. What kind of chores does everybody take on with everyone's strengths? What do you just have to live with? Mm-hmm.
And we really hadn't explored that in the show up to this point. And that's why I love this episode so much is you kind of just go like, yeah, we accept all this craziness because he does all the cooking and all the cleaning. And he kind of keeps the house together. Yeah.
And you see that balance. And you see it immediately too. And also Schmidt does so many despicable things. Like so many despicable things from episode one. But you realize that they, you know, they all accept him in spite of those things. And it's kind of part of this, you know, that all of these characters have their flaws. I think Schmidt probably has maybe the most.
But he does so many things that are kind of, you know, truly unacceptable. But they all love him in spite of those things. The one thing I like about TV is when...
when they're trying to show or showcase how dirty an apartment is or disgusting a place is, they really go for it. I mean, it must have been a day and all of a sudden there were, I'm talking pizza boxes, a million dishes. How did we do that in one day? How did we become this sloppy without Schmidt for a day?
which I thought was very, very interesting. I don't know, like four grown adults and like three meals a day plus like snacks. I mean, you could do some real damage if you are not, you know, clean people. That was extreme. Dallas, if you're listening. It is extreme. Dallas. Dallas, who was on our props team, who is now a film director. Yes, he's a great film director. What's up, Dallas?
Yes, he's awesome. We love him. We also learned about Schmidt's anger issues, like the way he destroys that hutch. Also, Cinema Magic, how perfectly it was put back together. Yeah, 100%. Nothing was smashed to smithereens. He's very good at cleaning. He's very good at cleaning. He has to control everything. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. I feel like I remember you, Zoe, talking a lot about...
that day or two of shooting in Venice. Oh, yeah. And it was not fun. Well, you know, you're dealing with a lot of elements, variables, if you will, in Venice and a lot of like
Various types of people that are all congregated together, you know, in one place, you know, a lot of Venice people that a lot of things that are out of your.
Control. Control, exactly. Exactly. We were dealing with our own control issues because that's the thing. I mean, Venice Beach is amazing and I grew up here in Los Angeles. So, you know, it's a place that I remember I was going as a kid and it can be really fun. But it's also like shooting there is tough because you have, you know, a lot of people who don't care that, you know, you're trying to get your work day done. And, you know, they'll just...
do their thing yeah can i say it's also like a highly disproportionate number of people on rollerblades which you know there's in and out of shots hard to catch someone on the blades well here's the thing i'm just gonna say it a lot of people on various substances right yeah we don't know what the drugs on blades yeah exactly rollerblades with with with substances and
happen you know be careful folks when you're walking down if you're a tourist and you're coming to venice beach be careful you might step on a needle they're everywhere i'm not gonna lie to you i've seen it before shoot up central um it is it's definitely there's there's yeah there's a lot going on it's hard to work there and actually i'm trying to be diplomatic but yeah it's hard to work there crack it it's okay say it crack it it's okay
I don't want to like, you know, make assumptions about people, but I feel like there were substances involved. It's not an assumption. I saw a guy on Venice Beach once. I said, hey, man, you look high. He said, yeah, it's crack. I said, OK. He got straight to the point. He got straight to the point.
So yeah, that's kind of what we were dealing with in our shoot days. A little art imitating life, imitating art, imitating life. But we did get to eat ice cream and I have a very fun picture of Max and me eating
Eating ice cream on Venice Beach. Yeah, it's a picture of me. I'm wearing like heart sunglasses. It's just like a picture where I'm like, oh, that was fun. And, you know, I didn't get that many episodes like with just me and Max and we're working together a lot. And so it was really, you know, it was fun to have those episodes, you know, where you kind of have a concentrated...
time with a person. So it was really fun to get to work with Max on this one. I feel like that's what people sometimes don't realize is that means that just you and Max those days were actually spending an entire day down at Venice Beach together.
So you're kind of, you know, just like in the show, in those moments in real life, you're really, you know, growing and learning your friendship. Yeah. Speaking of navigating our, you know, interesting day. Speaking of strange, strange Los Angeles shooting locations, MacArthur Park.
Oh, yeah. Another place where some substances were probably being consumed. Is that the bench where you and Jake are on talking about how much money? Yeah. We're having a little conversation about how much money he owes me. And every once in a while, you might see somebody, you know, they'll step into the shot and they don't care. They don't care. I wonder if there's footage of it where you would just see...
a person just randomly roam and you know in their own little zone while we're trying to film the scene they just step on in because if you if you're not familiar with sets we have security that kind of surrounds the perimeter but that's a public park so you can't really lock it all the way down completely and you got folks who like you said don't give a damn they do not care most yeah most people are following a certain rule book but then these were people who were following their own rule book
It's a funny story. In Atlanta, there are times when you film and on certain streets, what happens is that people know that you need to get those shots. And so they'll pretend to be out of their minds. They'll pretend to be a little wacky and they'll start screaming. And then the security has to come and pay them or production has to come and pay them to leave. And they know this, so they all do it.
Well, I was filming in Atlanta and in the middle of the night, we would have these... We were filming in this park for like weeks. And in the middle of the night, there would be like a caravan of... I don't know what you'd call them, like jalopies or something? Like with lights on them. And they would play really, really, really loud music. And I'm like...
in this caravan. I'm like, who's going to get paid? All right. So I'll meet you guys at 255.
And there's a filming location like right down the street. And we're going to ruin their shot. Oh, my God. With our light up cars. Oh, yeah. That's what you got to deal with. That's what you're up against when you shoot outside. I love shooting outside, especially in warm weather because it's just, I don't know, just breathe. It's nice.
But at the, you, I mean, there are planes you got to deal with, sirens, people. It's not as easy as it may seem. Yeah. And if you've ever like, yeah, shot in New York City, that's a whole other thing too. Oh my gosh. It's fun though. It's what we like. We enjoy it. Oh yeah. Also in this episode, this is, we talked about this in the previous episode where sometimes it's hard to
You know, when you're dealing with a person's performance style, it's hard to stay in character because you laugh too much. This is a slap fighting scene. Oh my, in the supermarket. Oh, that was a good slap fight. It looked like some real hits got in there though. I watched it and I was like, wait, hold up. Wait, did you just really get slapped? Jake doesn't... I felt like he was trying to prove something in this episode in particular because...
I slap him and everybody knows I have a gentle touch and you know I slap him and then Jake has the heaviest hands you have ever felt in your entire life he just kept going for it and it hurt but all I could do was laugh because he wouldn't
pull his punches. And I was like, Jesus, man, this hurts. And I started to get a headache during that time. We kept doing take after take after take after take. And I want to say, I didn't have a blow up moment, but I definitely out loud at some point said, I think we got it. I think we got it.
My head is killing me. He's got the heaviest knuckles you've ever felt in your life. Thick palm Jake Johnson is what we call him. Well, he used to move furniture. Like, Jake used to move furniture as a job. He still does. So, I mean, yeah, he probably still does. He's like on a break from Minx and he's like showing up to...
Move you out of your house. But yeah, he plays for real.
It made me think of like the boob fight, slap fight that you and I do later in the season. Yeah. That was different. We were wearing very padded bras. That's right. We were padded. We were like, here's your bra. And I was like, this is the most robust. It was all in the face. Yeah. We were doing the face kind of acting. The face and the foley. Yeah. They had like, they were doing the best acting.
post work with the sound to make them the most hilarious slap sounds but we were very considerate slappers but when i watched that fight when i re-watched this episode i literally like my body curled up in a ball because i'm like nah this is this is actually getting not fun i can see this is getting a little too real jake was hitting you for real he was he was your head
Your precious head. Well, because here's the thing. Everybody knows that when you're engaged in a slap fight, out of respect for your opponent, you put a hand to cheek. And Jake, I'm not sure if you can slow it down, his hand was like by my eye. He was hitting the top of your head. That's the thing. You got head. You got the bottom. I watched it. It wasn't just like little things on the cheek. Like you were really getting your face hit.
Mangled. I don't know. To this day, I get headaches and I don't know if that's...
Brain damage. I think you need to maybe sue Jake. I want to be super rich. It's launched right here. Super rich. Yeah. That's right. So your storyline in this is that in a poker fight, he puts like all his chips in. Right. And poker fight. Did I just say poker fight? You said a poker fight, which happens from time to time. High stakes, high stakes poker. A poker game up.
What is wrong with my brain? You're in a poker game. He is drunk. He puts all his chips in and then he loses $487 or something like that. That's what his belly said.
I think I wrote that on his belly as well. Did you really? I do believe I did. I thought I was like, I wonder who wrote it because it's very, very clear, beautiful penmanship. Well, I'll say this. If you ever get a chance to write on Jake Johnson's body, do it. It is a smooth canvas. If you're out there, folks, and you're listening, if you see Jake Johnson on the street, just go and write on his body.
Yeah. It's going to go over one. Then you're going to find yourself in a slap fight. I think we should take a break. Let's take a break. So many lawsuits are going to come from this. Why don't you guys all go right on Jake Johnson's body and come back and tell us how you felt when you did it. That's right.
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Visit Safeway.com for more details. And we're back. We hope you had fun writing on Jake Johnson's body. Yeah, I'm sure he had as much fun as he did. Exactly, because I'm still thinking about it.
Now, your penmanship, Lamorne, did you go to convent school? How did you get that beautiful penmanship? Here's the thing. Here's the thing. I say I think I wrote that because in all actuality, I have dog shit handwriting. Okay.
It's really bad. It is really, really bad. That's why some folks I'm known out there as Dr. Dr. Lamorne. That's what people call me on the street. Dr. Lamorne. Is that true? Yeah. I'm known as Dr. Lamorne. That's like a thing. It's common. Everybody knows it. It's all over my Twitter. The DL.
Maybe it's because your hands are too damn gentle. I have a gentle touch. Everybody knows that too. But I have the worst handwriting, much like a doctor would. It's because your hands are too gentle. I'm trying to make the marker or the Sharpie, whatever utensil I'm using, feel good. You know what I mean? Yeah. Here, can we just set the scene though? Okay, because if you wrote on his belly...
That means you would probably have to, I don't know, down on your knees, right? Get eye level to right. All right. And you're going to have to hold his back. Where are you going with this? To like, right clearly on his belly. Or somebody else could hold his back. Someone else could get behind to hold him stable. Or he could lean against the wall. Hannah, I'm not sure where you're going with this. I'm just trying to... You just said, I got on my knees to... We're treading?
Hannah, no. This is an innocent conversation. I'm just trying to figure out how you wrote on his belly. I can tell you exactly how I did it. Eye to eye. Hannah, instead of getting perverted. Well, look at him dip his eye. Hannah, enough. Okay? Instead of getting perverted with this, I'm going to tell you exactly how it happened. Where'd your mind go? I'm just talking about how you wrote on this man's belly. Yeah, you said I had to kneel down. Okay? We know what that means. How else?
How else are you going to write it? The way it happened. That's what happened. You laid him down. I laid Jake Johnson down on a bed. It was a silk sheets. With your gentle hands. That's right. I kindly removed his shirt at one button at a time. There you go.
Right? There you go. I brought out my favorite Sharpie and Jake was a little nervous so I had to make him feel comfortable. I put on some Luther Vandross. I lit some candles. Okay. Gave him a little wine. You know what I mean? And then, you know, then I wrote on his belly like any normal person would do. It's a job. Yeah.
professionals doing their job. And you did a great job. Thank you. And that your pen mission was actually great because you were focused and relaxed and so was he. That's it. Well, I'm glad we solved that mystery, guys. And we rehearsed that scene numerous times before, too. It was great.
Yeah. Now we all know that's a great behind the scenes story. I'm glad everybody knows now. Fully accurate and factual. We're here to bring you the truth, you guys. Untold stories of New Girl. Here you go. There you go. I love how you do this intervention moment on the park bench, though, because if somebody owes me money, I don't know how I would. I can't ask for it. It makes me super uncomfortable.
What do you do in that moment? I don't do anything. It's terrible. Borrow money from me, I guess. Hannah, can I borrow 10 grand? Yeah. It's just terrible to ask someone for money because if you borrow it, it should be on you to return it. That's the right way to do it. So the fact that Winston's been backed into this corner now where he's had to write a letter-
to have this big intervention. That is an uncomfortable thing. I have a question. Are you guys, like, do you guys need a lot of control over things? How neat and fastidious are you? Or, like, how much control do you need?
I personally, I, there's not a lot that bothers me. Right. So if you're very easygoing, very easygoing, but it can't like, like, for example, the apartment loft, my place can't look like that.
No way. You're a grown up. Exactly. Exactly. I understand every once in a while you might leave a cup or a plate out and you pick it up the next day. You know, it's just right. I understand that. But like just full on open containers and things, especially if it's not mine, then I get upset about it. And, you know, because then I find myself being the one that does it all.
Here's the thing. There's two, I feel like schools of thought on this of like housekeeping. You clean as you go, right? Or you leave it all to the end of the night and then you got to spend an hour and then that's when you kind of get to work. Or I guess the third school of thought is just like, no, I'm not doing any of it, which is what happens in this episode. Absolutely. I'm a clean as you go person. I don't want at the end of the night, a whole mountain of work of like collecting dishes and,
And tidying up. That makes me crazy. I don't want it at the end of the night. What about you, ZD? It kind of depends on what I'm doing. If I'm baking or something that gets messy, I like to clean as I go. Because otherwise you make mistakes. But if I'm just...
cooking a regular meal and there isn't that much like stuff to clean up, I'll leave it till the end. I'm lucky because Jonathan's very helpful. And he's, he's extremely good at cleaning up. So, you know, I'm lucky that he'll always help me clean up. But I am, I would say like, I don't know, Hannah, if you'd agree with me, but being a mom, I,
I'm controlling about other things. Sure. Like I like things done a certain way, you know? Well, I think what's interesting about this episode is what the real kickoff is, is in the cold open.
Right. Right. With the Hutch, right? He's trying to be spontaneous about sex. Oh, right, right, right. Right. And it's like and it's making him feel like he's totally out of control and he doesn't know when this thing's going to happen or not. And it's manifesting what other things it's kind of like in a couple fights where people go like it's not about the dishes. It was not about the Hutch. Right.
Right? He just was trying to figure out this huge thing that was way out of his control. And so then he was like hyper focusing and getting really angry and it was coming out in different ways. And then he went on a journey.
And then that's why the full circle moment at the end with Cece, where he was like, I can relinquish this control a little bit and just enjoy the moment. How do you guys feel about thrift store stuff, by the way? Thrift store stuff? Yeah, like the hutch, the typewriters. I'm all about a good find. I love it. Me too. How about you, Lamorne? Oh, right. You don't like old stuff, right? You don't like everything to be new. No. Every home that I've...
ever been in like apartment for the most part that i've rented has never been it's always a new construction it's always never yes did i every time i changed the toilet seats all that you were like i like because i like like more historic homes and stuff and you're like you live in an old home ew you're like ew what you want to live in a home that people have lived in before
See, people have like, I just feel like the amount of ghosts. Ghosts? I get so creeped out by the idea that like when I'm in my own personal space, there's a ghost looking at me like, man, this is my couch. And I can't tell until he does something weird like this.
move something, you know, and I don't, I don't, I haven't seen a ghost, but people talk about them and they say they're real. And I'm like, what if they are, they're always watching me. Even when I'm in the new, new homes. Cause you are concerned that a ghost is watching you. Yeah. You're concerned that you have to share a couch with the ghost. Right. Right. And you change the toilet seats in case something,
A ghost? I changed the toilet. No, no, no. You don't ghost. That's a different issue. No. You don't like it. That's a different issue. So if I'm renting a place, you know, if I'm, you know, renting a place and I always change the toilet seats out. The whole, oh, the seat. The seats, not the whole toilet itself. I changed the seats out unless I'm putting in one of those very, you know, which will
pop up in another will you go you won't use like a bathroom like in a restaurant or something if i have to but like when i'm at home you know what i mean there's a there's a i don't want i don't want to have to put a sheet down over what those little protective things down in my own home but you know there's something like called bleach that can totally clean i get it i get it but i don't i don't always believe in bleach you know what i mean
Bleach don't always do the trick. You ever walk into a smelly place and you can smell that bleach was laid on the ground, but it still smells like a butthole? It's like crime scene. Yeah, you can still smell it. It's a crime scene flavor. Hospital flavor. All right, well, we support you.
that's right thank you for your support your fear of sharing couches with ghosts right um so i gotta put down one of those like very lovely like japanese like toilets i love those so i just remove them i remove the old stuff and put in something new you know that's my investment you got a lot of schmidt-esque qualities just clean cheeks i just want clean cheeks
Yeah. That's all. Clean Cheeks. That's the name of your new album? Yes. That is your new album. But that's the thing that people know about me, though. Everywhere I go, people are always like, yo, you're the guy who has clean cheeks, right? I'm like, yeah, that's me. That's me. How did you know? How I'm known for it. Everybody knows. That's some headstone stuff. That's right. Folks, Hannah's birthday is coming up in August, so please send her pictures of clean cheeks. I cannot with you.
I honestly, you put this. Don't ever check your DMs again. Never. He's ruined. I can't open it again. That's it. There's an interesting little tidbit on this really quick. I'm sorry, but there's like this crystals, you know, the, the, he's wearing a crystal, which I thought was very interesting because later on we'll find that.
that that's been like a winston thing as well i'm not sure if you guys remember oh that's right he has this obsession with crystals and i thought it was really funny to i don't know if they were selling it early but when nick is you know pretty much telling schmidt that his crystal is uh what do you call it rock poop is that what he called it yeah yeah anyway
Send us your crystals in this DM. Send us all your crystals. Foreshadowing. Yeah, for sure. This episode ends with some of the most vile dirty talk that I feel like I've ever heard about him trying to knight her and naming his Pernas Hector J.
Yeah, it was one of the most I get so uncomfortable with things like that. Like, I'm just like, OK, I'm going to turn the episode off. And he's just again, it's Max. So he's like over committing to this crazy dirty talk, which I feel like most of that must have been done in like ADR. And they gave him pages of just crazy stuff to say. Pages of jokes. And a lot of times it was supposed to be one joke. And then they're like, how about you fit all 15?
That's right. And then it'll become a list of many, many, many. That's what that felt like. Especially for Schmidt. And I felt like re-traumatized just watching it. I was like, oh, yeah, too much, too weird, too gross. And the fact that she's kind of into it is also very weird. Yeah. It is.
You know what's funny is when I see the love scenes with you and Max, it's like, it feels like weird. It's like watching your friends, you know, and you're like, ah, like, like if somebody were like, here's a video of your friends in the bedroom, I'd be like, uh, no, thank you. I also didn't realize how much Cece and Schmidt just like made out the first season. Yeah.
Which is a very weird way to dive right into a TV show. You know what I mean? Where you're just like, hi, nice to meet you. Okay, so in this episode, you're just going to jump this guy's bones, which I was like, oh my goodness, can't I just rap? Oh,
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Visit Safeway.com for more details. All right, guys, I think it's that time. It's that time. It's that time. Where's the bear? Where's the bear? Okay. It's been a hard couple of weeks.
Because this is the one, here's the thing. I know, I know. Trust me, you don't think I want the bear? I want the bear. And so I watched it. I watched it slow. I did like a couple pauses, some like peeking around on scenes that had like a lot going on in it. I did not find a bear in this episode.
Listeners, did you in the episode of Control, did you find a bear? Because it feels like when I go online then and then I go like, where's the bear in the Control episode as my little cheat to kind of like figure out if anybody else did it. Everyone goes like, it's the picture of the bear on the fridge. And I can't, I feel like you just can't keep counting that one.
Yeah. We're going to have to have some. But this episode is written by Brett Baer, which I know Zoe does not count. That doesn't count. It doesn't count. But I. Could it be the fact that. Maybe this is part of the. Oh, sorry, go ahead. No, could it be the fact that Nick and Winston were having a bare hand slap? They were all. Yeah.
that was happening with their bare hands this is also stretching any bear spelled b-a-r-e does that count because they said bear b-e-a-r like that's your bear the animal um if we're also including brett bear's last name and also bare hands and bare bottoms do we do we does that count
Because we need to know the rules. You tell us. I feel like the rules of Where the Bear are very similar to the rules of True American. Where we kind of are making them up as we go along to fit what we need to have happen because it's fun, y'all. It's fun. Speaking of True American...
Welcome to True American, where the rules change weekly and you leave more confused than when you showed up. This week, we're playing Betty Crocker's Kids Dessert. We'll each describe the greatest kid snack, and you guys can vote for the best version right now on Instagram. Ooh, a vote. A contest. You know...
My favorite kid snack growing up, and it's not really a kid snack. Well, it is a kid snack, but it's a candy bar. Does that count? It's a candy bar. Yeah. Yeah. It was a Snickers candy bar, but I ate it in a very weird way. You know how they would say it's no wrong way to eat a Reese's? And you would think some people have the commercials. Yeah.
They never had that for Snickers. I would eat the Snickers the long way, like a corn on a cob. I would eat the nougat part first. You'd nibble your nougat? I would nibble the nougat.
You always got to start with the nougat. Okay? Fun fact was a snack that I gave Jake Johnson to calm him down when I was writing on his belly. It was a piece of Snickers. Aww. Like a whole bar? Like fun size or what? Fun size. With a little toothpick in it. A little baby fun size. A little.
And that's how I would eat it. And my mom, so my mom would work late. She'd work nights. And I was always the one who would wait up and she got so mad at me for waiting up for her because it was school night and I would always wait up and she would get home around midnight.
from work every night and i would always so for a while she thought i was waiting up because i was a sweetheart i was waiting up because i was like did you bring me a snickers from the store and she would she would always say no but she always had one she was going no go to bed and i wake up the next morning and then she'd say take this to school with you
So that was my snack for me. I remember my dad bringing home from work those little red and white striped peppermints. Oh. Which I'm sure there was just like a free bowl of them at the reception or whatever. But I just remember him bringing home like a little sweet for me. I remember that too. It was more like the fact that your parents thought about you when they were at work. Yeah. Very sweet. Okay. So a Snickers eaten like a corn on the cob is your snack.
You toss in your hat in the can. Favorite kid's dessert? Yeah, favorite kid's dessert. That's right. I'll share mine. I already know it won't win, and people will think it's disgusting. Here's what. Don't care. Is it a dessert or a snack? That's the thing. It's a snack. Okay. Okay. I just remember eating this in Saudi Arabia with my best friend. I just remember I was making these, and we thought it was really delicious. Okay.
because obviously we couldn't use the stove or anything to make a grilled cheese. We were young. We're nine years old. So what we would do was get a piece of bread. It was just like white loaf bread. We'd put mayonnaise on it. Already I'm out. You're out. Then we would put a Kraft single. Okay. And we'd put it in the microwave.
No. Because we thought it would... And it basically burns it, I think, is now, in retrospect, I can say, was what would really happen. Bread doesn't react very well to the microwave. We did not know these things. So we would put it in, and we thought we were making open-faced grilled cheesies, and then take it out, and the plasticky cheese...
Burn the roof of our mouth. And we thought it was the greatest invention of a snack ever. And our parents let us do it. And that was our delicious snack. Oh, Jesus. So far, I think Stickers is going to win this. Oh, that's gross. Okay, so I'm going to put in... I don't think you can pay me to eat that now. But I ate a lot of that growing up. I was like... So...
Growing up, we would make this like coffee cake that was a box mix that my dad would make with us on like Saturday mornings. And it was, you would mix the whole thing in a bag and then bake it in a little cardboard container. But it had like cinnamon, sugar, streusel topping. And it was so good. Yeah, it was just like a regular coffee cake mix.
like a vanilla cake with a streusel topping. But was there any coffee in it? Were you young having coffee? No, no, no. You know what a coffee cake is not? Oh, because maybe... Okay. So a coffee cake... I'm microwaving cheese over here, so I don't... Yeah. I was like, I feel like if you grow up in the States, maybe it's more of a thing. You call...
A coffee cake, something you eat, like that you would eat with coffee or tea or for breakfast. Yeah, it's not something that has coffee in it. Contains coffee. It's just something that you would have maybe with coffee. So they call it a coffee cake. Normally, like a coffee cake would be like a sort of delectable cake with cinnamon sugar streusel topping.
And it's like a single layer cake. It's not like a birthday cake. It's like a tea time snack. It's delicious. You can put a little butter on it. Well, I thought for a second I might have like an edge because it was like coffee for kids and then that wouldn't be okay. No, there's no coffee in it. Just in the name. Now it's just a delicious treat, which sounds great. Yeah, it's confusing. It doesn't have coffee in it. It's just cinnamony and yummy.
So Snickers eaten sideways. All right. Those are our three contenders. Cinnamon streusel for coffee cake with no coffee in it or a piece of bread with mayonnaise and American cheese in the microwave.
Yeah. Burn. Burn. Burn. Burn. Those are our three options, folks. Three options. I feel like it's really only two. It might win now because of that. I think now it will win. All the Snickers on top of the coffee cake. So vote on that, folks. We want you guys to vote on your favorite. We want to hear what you have to say. Yeah. Go to the... And maybe we'll find out a lot of people made a grilled cheese in the microwave.
I, well, I, I've done that before, but I don't think I put mayonnaise. I don't think I put it in the microwave, but I don't think I also, also, I don't think I put mayonnaise on it. Mayonnaise and cheese and bread. That really threw me off. That threw me off. That threw me off. And I've done some, some strange things. Syrup sandwiches is something we also grew up on. So, so, but mayonnaise, disgusting. So yeah, make sure you guys go to the welcome to our show podcast, IG profile and vote for
We will have those images up there soon. Vote, vote, vote. All right. Thanks, guys. This was so fun. Another great episode all about control. Yes, indeed it was. Like and subscribe. Give us 10 stars. 10 stars. 10, 10, 10 stars. See you guys next time on Welcome to Our Show. All right. We'll talk to you guys later. Love you. Love you. Bye. Bye.
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