Here's why April chose to vaccinate her child. I think actually meeting someone who was not vaccinated and now has a lifelong struggle with a childhood disease really cemented for me that it's super important that we as parents continue to vaccinate our children. Talk to your pediatrician or visit whyvaccines.com. Brought to you by Merck.

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Yeah.

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I've been watching a lot of Viola or Viola Davis's Is it Viola or Viola? Did you try to get fancy? I feel like it's Vi because she goes by Vi. Because that's what it starts with. She can go by Vi? No, I think it's Viola. Anyway, I've been watching her just like, you know, be the best actress ever and watching her and now. You think she's the best actress ever?

She's up there, man. She's amazing. Can I also just tell you something just before we dive into Fired Up, which is, by the way, great episode. Totally forgot about this episode. Never laugh so much. One of my most mom moments happened with my mom. She called me. She was like, darling, my mom's British. Darling, I know that Le Monde might be moving. I said, she goes, I heard it on the podcast. I'm like, do you? Okay. Okay.

Wait. Mom, so you learnt about the Morin movie from when the Morin was talking to me about it on our podcast. She was like, listen, every week. I was like, no, I get that. Why are you asking me? Do I know? Sorry, a bowling ball just rolled over.

Well, that's great because this is slapstick comedy right now when we talk about my mom. Donnie, do you know Lamont is moving? I was like, where do we begin with this one now? Your mom, it turns out, is as bright as Cece is. She would take that. She'd be like, really? Thank you so much. All right, let's dive in because there's so much to get through in this episode.

Oh, yeah, absolutely. It's so freaking good. So come on, write it down. Okay, so here, let me do this first. Oh, I just have to say right off the top. I know we usually say it after, but I have to. It was directed by Steve Welch, which you guys, he was the editor of New Girl. So when you see like that really great, like, you know, like rap that happened during like Nick's cancer episode or like wonderful, amazing things that have happened. A lot of it always has to do with in the edit. And that was the genius of Steve Welch.

And he got to direct this episode, which is so cool when an editor gets to direct because they know the shots. They know what they're looking for. They have a different insight and perspective and lens on things, which is why I think this episode is so funny because our editor got to direct. So he really got to get all the goods. And Sophia Lear wrote it, who's one of the funniest, kindest, most talented women out there. So such a good one. Okay, tell us about it.

Oh, yeah. But, you know, I'll also say on Steve Welsh front, you know, as an editor, you're right. He knows all the shots, all the angles. He knows exactly what he's going to use in the edit. And I respected him from start to finish. Jake Johnson, on the other hand, was like, I'm not listening to some... Like, he couldn't give Jake acting notes. He wouldn't allow it. He was just like... Jake was like, dude, stick to editing. Why are you dragging us into this podcast war? No, there is no podcast war. This is two separate podcasts. I'm just speaking the truth because that's what this...

because I love the fans so much, we do this episode. We do this podcast. They need to know the truth. They need to know the facts. So let's get into this episode. Jake hates the fans. So Jess hires coach to be the coach of her school's volleyball team. But when she gets promoted to vice principal, her first task is to fire coach the coach.

Meanwhile, Nick and Winston pretend to be lawyers from the make-believe firm of Cooper, Bishop, and Ferguson and represent Schmidt in a personal injury lawsuit he's facing. Meanwhile, back at the bar, CeCe has her eyes set on a nice young man with an accent named Buster. Oh my gosh. So much to say on that, by the way. So much backstory to that. Yeah, when we get to that, Hannah, you're going down. Hannah, you're about to get busted. Yeah.

Because of Buster, that is. All right, when we come back, we are going to dive in. Listen as Selenia tells us why she chose to vaccinate her daughter.

Right after my daughter was born, my husband and I are having to decide whether or not to get her vaccinated. I definitely felt like the pros far outweighed the cons. The diseases that I am protecting my child against, they're still here. Talk to your child's doctor and learn more at whyvaccines.com. Brought to you by Merck.

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We'll be right back.

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Okay, so I love this part. Nick is waiting in the kitchen with a fly swatter. He's just waiting for a fly, which I've done. I have one. And the flies are never around when you need them. Do you know what I mean? Let me just say this about fly swatters. The best ones and the cruelest ones, because it's not a fair fight.

are the electric ones. Yeah. That's what I have. Yeah. You don't lose that fight, but it's an unfair advantage in the man versus fly. Sometimes you get a fly so strong that it's electricity resistant.

Comes up and slaps you. It goes, and it'll play dead. It'll play possum. Turns into a superhero maybe. Oh no, it mutates. When you electrocute it, you electrocute. Is this the superhero thing that you're going to do? Everybody's like, oh, Lamorne's next step is to become like the next big superhero, like a Robert Downey Jr. thing. You could be Fly Man. You mean The Fly by Jeff Goldblum? That's already been done. Yeah.

Jeff Goldblum has already done it. I know nothing of superheroes. The fly, Jeff Goldblum. All right. So then Jess lets the boys know she got Coach a job at her school and it's his first day. And he is like not happy about it. Doesn't want to go to the job. Hates children. Thinks this is going to be a terrible idea. But he needs the paycheck. So he's going to show up. That's right. And he does. And in Coach fashion, he is aggressively screaming at these kids. Which, by the way, made me laugh so much because Damon has what, nine? 23?

No, he has more than Nick Cannon. He has more than Nick Cannon. He has 76 children? Yeah, something like that. Had that boy be doing it. Anyway, Damon, no one loves children more than Damon. He's just the absolute best dad. He's the kindest uncle, everything. And it was so funny to have him play this scene where he's screaming and so mean. Yes. Keep running or I will murder your family. Yes.

Yeah, that's fine. Crazy. Absolutely crazy. So dark. So perfect for him. Exactly. Now, meanwhile, Schmidt, he had nowhere to put all of his stuff. So they give him a bit of advice and say, hey, let's move all of your furniture to the storefront that you bought or that you're renting out. And when they go in, a dude walks in randomly and is like, hey, I want to buy that.

He's like, it's not for sale. It's not a store. It's a storage unit. It's a storage unit. And Nick is like, you got to do it. You got to do it. You got to do it. He does it. But the problem is the guy then goes and trips just like Winston did earlier. Yeah.

And Winston's a great guy. He's not going to sue. But this guy, he's about to take him to court. You were playing the piano very beautifully. I assume not for real. Thank you for saying so. That means a lot. Just banging around on there. And also, by the way, I will say this, and I love this choice by the show. The way he tripped felt like he wanted the lawsuit. Yeah, I know people who've done that. Right? It was like the throwing themselves in front of a parked car kind of situation. Really?

So that I like that little setup and that choice. He didn't just genuinely fall and hurt himself. Right. We're already on like, you're a jerk. We hope these guys can figure out how to get out of this lawsuit. I like that choice for our show. You know what?

Let me go back and rewind. Why? I forget. Nick didn't tell him to do it. No. Nick told him not to do it. I thought this was another one of your bits of just trying to make Jake Johnson responsible now for this thing happening in the show. No, no, I forgot. He told me it was illegal. He told him it was illegal. That's on me. Yeah, he's like, he's trying to actually give him good advice. And then Schmidt gets himself into a pickle because he's trying to sit there and now make money.

then the guy falls and now he's going to sue the business but there is no business it's just Schmitty exactly yeah Schmidt tells him that he's not going to listen to a guy who pronounces the G in lasagna and

Now, just then... Okay, so we're already past that. Now we're back at the teacher's lounge. Yeah, yeah. Coach is actually loving the job. Yeah, he loves it. It fits him. He's digging it. And then, oh gosh, the biology teacher needs some tech support. So just...

And then looks at him and says, you know, I can see your entire search history, right? And then he's like, it's a bio, I'm a biology teacher. It's all research.

Now, Coach is curious. He's like, I see you doing all this stuff. You're the tech support now. And she's like, oh, I do a lot of stuff to help around the school, mowing the lawn, cleaning off graffiti. She's trying to earn goodwill so that she hopefully gets chosen to be vice principal. And she's been trying to earn the goodwill. Also, by the way, what did she say? Like, I love corn on the cob, but I don't go around like painting it on the school. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, that would be a good laugh. Okay. But Coach's advice is, you know, you can't just wait around. You got to take it. Okay. You got to go get the job that you want. And so in his metaphor, he's in front of a volleyball net and in typical Jess fashion, she's getting aggressive, but she can't hit the ball over the net and she instead hits herself in the face with it. Yeah. And he says, there's that moment with Damon where he's like, I will not laugh.

Made me think, like, if somebody gets hurt, like trips and falls, you know, and gets hurt, is your nervous reaction to laugh? Yeah. No, it depends on how bad they get hurt. Or it depends on who. Yeah. Or how bad they got hurt. Yes, I mean, it's what the accident is. If somebody, like, falls downstairs, no, I'm not laughing. I'm going to go try to make sure that person's okay. If somebody gets hit in the face with a volleyball, I am in tears. Okay.

I don't laugh at all. I have such like mama instinct. I'm like, oh my God. Oh no. Running over. Are you okay? But I know a lot of people that have the nervous laughter thing. No matter what the situation or who it is, their grandma could fall down the stairs and they just like, like they do a weird giggle squeaks out. And it's so odd. Oh, when I laugh, it's not nervous laughter at all. It's intentionally. I'm finger pointing. I'm going, you little stupid ass.

You're going all the way back to the playground. Now, meanwhile, we go back into the loft and, you know, they come inside, Winston and Schmidt, I believe. I don't know why this line makes me laugh so much. When Winston says, there is no justice for the Hebrew man, not in these United States. Okay.

Winston's like, hey, man, I can't get enough of this legal drama that Schmidt's in. And then the whole, that's what, this is when Courtroom Brown. Courtroom Brown. And you know what? They're not wrong. That's an amazing nickname. Yeah. 100%. I loved also the little moment where he was like, okay, so you have to say my name. And Nick's like, Winston. And you're like, don't react. He's like, Winston, don't react. He's like, Courtroom Brown. You're like, and then you both go, whoa, it worked.

You're like, oh, grown men. Grown men. Making the bit work. Yes. But okay. It's not a revelation, but okay. But, you know, he is still without a lawyer. You know, he's got to go to court. And Winston suggests that Nick should be Schmidt's lawyer. You know, he did pass the bar. You know, it's something you don't forget. According to him, it's like riding a bike. Ha ha ha.

flashback by the way I've never related to something more I hate that expression it's just like riding a bike yeah sure I can ride a bike but if you put one like underneath me now like go go get on that bike and go right around the block I'd be like okay well just give me a couple minutes I'm gonna be wobbly for a while I'm gonna need a warm-up oh I'm gonna warm up for real like how do I break again is this the kind of break with your feet or you get the handheld also the

private? Could I just like figure it out? So by the way, fair. If it is like riding a bike, give him a minute to like familiarize himself with something he hasn't done in a while. Yes, exactly. The expression works if that's the takeaway from the expression. But if it's easy in child's play, this expression needs to be reworked. That's all I'm saying. Yes, 100%.

Now, Nick is agreeing to be his lawyer. But he says, only if he says please and has a retainer of $5. He tells him four. You got a deal. Give me some skin. It's so funny. This, like him being a lawyer, but also this negotiation. Okay. Now this, one of the most awkward, funny moments in New Girl history is

Jess marches in. She's now all fired up. And she says, I want you to take advantage of me. She's like, I'm young, energetic. Take advantage of me. Take full advantage of me. And I love his response. He's like, ah, man, I'm really only into Asians. We've all been there. Am I right? And then his backstory, like where it all started. Oh.

So funny. And then she clarifies they both feel very weird. And then he's so excited. Who wants the vice principal job? The thankless jobs of being a VP, but she wants it. She's like, what a dream.

go and gives her all the files take a look at our finances let's start to figure out this school yeah exactly um and coach tries to dump gatorade on her or coach or aid was it was a coach or aid or something like that i don't know but i loved how it was damon you could tell his improvving is running out he's like it's only gonna get on your dress and your face and your makeup and your hair

Oh, gosh. Now, Nick. The mock trial. The mock trial is so funny. Nick Schmidt, Winston, they do a mock trial. Winston won't answer Nick's questions, and he's getting frustrated. And Schmidt fires him on the spot. And immediately, Jake puts his hand out and says, give me another chance. So funny. It's so Jake versus Nick. That moment where it's like, just give me another chance. Yeah.

Okay, this. Let's talk about it. Let's talk about the pedophilia drink. Oh my gosh. And this is with the absolutely crazy, talented, super funny Ben Falcone. Yeah. He's got great taste in women. Yeah. In real life. Mary Timberlake McCarthy. He plays this so funny to me that I can catch myself having to like, I kept like,

Biting my tongue with the inside of my cheek because Ben was making me laugh so hard. So some fun facts is that I feel like they cast an Australian because of Trent O'Donnell. Right. It was this thing about like the handsome guy or whatever. And so they cast an Australian. But Buster is Brett Baer's son's real name.

He named a character after his kid, which a lot of writers and creators do. They put family names into the show. And Buster is his real son's name. Yeah. And then they hired this guy. And he happens to be a child. We're back to the character now. Back to the character. Back to the Aussie Buster. And I love that. I mean, let's just be honest, Cece. This ain't okay. It's not okay. But you did it with a smile on your face.

It's so weird. I remember it at the time. I remember this table read and I was like happening. And I didn't know it was like from like a big pullback of like, well, a 30 year old, you know, guy dating a 20 year old girl happens. Nobody really blinks. They should, but they don't. And yes, they do in this town. You got to be over 21. That's the rule. And even then, even then, even then, even then, if you're like 22, 20, between 22 and 25 at my age, you're

You're like, yeah, but you're in your 40s. I'm talking about a 30 year old man. We were playing in our 30s. Right. And this show, maybe even late 20s. No. On season three, we were in our 30s. Right. But that's on the show. I feel like a young 30 year old man here in L.A. dating a 20 year old girl. Not too many people would blink. Like I said, they should. No, I'm here to tell you as a man.

yeah people would blink people would people would definitely make comments about it's weird don't do it you guys it's weird they're babies and the fact that we did it on the show i was like this is weird he's a baby i felt weird doing it in character you can see my face where like there's if i'm being honest like very little chemistry between me and this guy because in my brain i'm like it's a baby well think about it this way here i know it's a baby

I know. And if they wrote a storyline that Winston starts dating an underage girl, because the whole point is that he's underage and he can't be in the bar. If Winston all of a sudden was like, well, I'm still going to see her out. Forget your fake ID. I'm just going to still go out and go on a date with you. It's...

It wouldn't be able to get aired. It wouldn't be able to get aired. I think it would get aired. No, there's no way because then the fans would turn on the Winston character. I feel like it would get aired. Because here's the thing, it's America, right? Educate me about your country. The only thing that's underage if you're not 21 is drinking, right? Everything else is your legal, right?

Yeah. Okay. But, you know, still. I agree with you, but I'm just saying nothing illegal is happening. So you'd be like, oh man, I can't wait for another year for you to be able to drink. Yeah, I think it's true. That's why she's like, you want to go get like a soda? The fact that she asked that, I was like, Cece, girl, go talk to these writers that are writing this for you. If you're asking a boy to go for a soda, it's not okay. Hannah, this has always been my motto.

If you can't handle alcohol, you can't handle this dick. Okay, moving along. You can't handle it. Okay, so moving along. We are back at the school. What a segue. We're back at school. And they, Jess says there's a big issue in the budget. They've got to make some big cuts. And, hi mom. And Principal Foster says, well look, you got to then get rid of the most recent hire. And that's

Coach. So Jess is absolutely devastated. It's not what she thought she was going to have to do. No. But it's part of the job. Now she's in a pickle. Yeah. So she goes to the gym to fire coach at the exact moment. All of the students that have fallen so in love with coach are presenting him with a varsity jacket that reads coach, coach, coach, coach, coach.

And he leaves and he's crying. He's crying. And Damon's a method actor. He was actually crying. He can cry at a dime. He can. He can. Now, the next morning, obviously, nobody want to talk to her. Nobody want to deal with this. No, I know. Winston won't speak to her. The squint you gave, by the way. It was a real, real close squint. Yeah, you got to go.

Yeah. It's either onions in the atmosphere. You got the rest of your face really placid. Botox. You didn't even have like disdain on your face. It was just the squint. It was very impressive. It's hard to do. You get that from your mom when you act it up as a kid and she just gives you the squint. Oh no, there was more going on in the face. I'm going to get my ass beat. All of it would happen. No, I'm just going to squint the eyes. The eyes get bigger though. You get the look. You gave her the squint.

You know what the squint also says? Something ain't right about you. That's right. There's something else going on. I learned something today. I see what this is this whole time. Yeah, that's what that is. And then Nick comes in and she's trying to get that. She's trying to she's trying to get some advice. She's trying to, you know, have a talk with someone. And then, you know, obviously Nick comes in and Nick tells Jess that Schmidt fired him.

And he'll never get to use his $19 briefcase that he bought. You know what I mean? So completely ignoring the fact that she just fired Coach. He doesn't know this yet because he's got his own problems going on. He's got his own thing going on. He got fired. She's firing someone. They both need each other. They can't see each other. This is a big moment of disconnect, which leads us into our next episode. But a big moment of disconnect. And then he does a very weird takeaway. He's like, you're right.

No one can stop me. And he's off. That's right. He's going to go put on his power suit. Now, we're in a mediation. Have you ever been in a mediation? It's rough. I never have. Have you? No, not really. Speaking from no experience, we can tell you it's rough. I have. I have been in mediation before. You know, parental stuff.

co-parenting. You got to go through the mediation. So nobody actually gets everything that they want. Sure. Compromise. Compromise. 100%. And especially in this scenario when you got two idiots representing you. I will say, man, when he carried it off,

He's the smartest character in the show. Very smart. He came in there with the swag, bravado, fake it till you make it, zero imposter syndrome, and just used comedy. Who knew? Let me tell you something. To disarm them. His joke where he says that whether it's in the office or at the meeting, it's all billable. Yep, that's how they think. It's true. That's how they think.

Stay out of court, you guys. They're just trying to take your money. It's not stay in a jail. Stay out of court. You want some life advice from us, stay out of court. And then Nick obviously is not good at it. He asked them if they should get into it or just take their pants off. And nobody laughs because they don't get it. I love his line of questioning though. His line of questioning. He just says, so what is your home address? Then he tells her and he goes, no further questions.

Oh my gosh. Where are we? We're back at the bar. Yeah, and Coach, Coach and Jess are getting drunk and crying and sad. He's sad that he can't work with the kids anymore. She said that she had to fire him. Then they're talking about how much they love the kids and they're spiraling and bonding and connecting over it because he's missing the game. He's coached them for this big game. He's missing the game.

And then all of a sudden, with some liquid courage, they're like, forget it, let's go. We're going to the game. We gonna do it. We gonna make it happen.

Also, the things that they say about these children during this ramble is some of the meanest stuff I've ever heard said about kids. But their delivery is that they love the kids so much and it is hysterical. Pasadena is a bunch of bitch-ass tricks. I mean, crazy dig at Pasadena. Sorry, Pasadena. We love you, Pasadena. Crazy. Then this, okay, the cutback to the stenographer reading

The most out-of-pocket, insane thing. But then ends at the end of what she's reading is, look, I'm going to buy some time or something. I'm going to ask her to read back what happened so far. And

She caught all the stuff that they had said under their breath and now she's read out loud to the room. Classic Nick Miller. Just his own undoing. Oh, wow. Now, the plaintiffs say

The place's attorney says that, you know what? We will settle for $20,000. Yeah, he says, you're not real lawyers. This is a joke. We want $20,000 and that's it. You have no legs to stand on. And then they kind of scuffle. They go out in the hall, Schmidt and Nick, and Nick says,

This is all part of a plan. You've got to trust me. And then they go inside. Actually, you know what? Let's just pause there on the plan. Let's skip on over to the volleyball game. Yeah. Where a coach, I mean, they're getting smoked. These kids are so bad. They're just the most uncoordinated little assholes that you've ever seen. Did you coach children's sports? Because you sound like it. No, I refuse.

I refuse. I know how bad I am at certain sports. I don't want no part of that. I can sit there and tell a kid, you got to do this one. I could never do it. Sure. So I'm hoping Lily, I hope she likes sports, but I hope there's another dad or another mom who's like, I'll coach. I'll be like, oh, thank you. Just say, I'll bring the snacks. That's all you have to do. Oh, all day. Be the snack king. You kidding me? Orange slices. Come on. Bud Light. I'll bring it. Don't matter.

Don't matter. Bud light. Bud and butt. Because, well, weed is medicinal, right? It helps heal those fragile bodies. I'm going to find something else for you to do so you can shine when your kids play sports. Okay. So they're at the volleyball game. Coach comes in. They're getting smoked. Grabs the whistle and Jess starts barking orders at him. He's going in. He's amping them up and it is working. Now, meanwhile, Jess tells Principal Foster that she is going to VP the

The way she wants to do it because he's sitting over there looking like, what is coach doing here? And she's like, no, no, no. We're going to figure it out. Other budget cuts. We can figure out other ways to make money and to save money. And now she wants to think outside of the box and show her true skills and save coach's job. It's a very awesome moment. And the team scores point. That's right. And everybody starts celebrating. What a bunch of losers. No, I'm kidding. It's all about participation. We know nobody cares.

Look at it, everybody. Just give me a chance. So now we are back. We're back in this mediation room. Nick delivers a speech standing. And then he gives Schmidt some loose screws. Then he does the biggest pratfall ever. Justin Long would be proud. So proud. Genslinger would be like, so clap that to death. John Ritter and Justin Long. Oh, yeah. And he falls. He claims negligence while grabbing his neck.

He tells the other lawyers that he is going to file petition after petition, overloading them with paper.

And they kind of cave. And as he walks out, well, first he tells them to pay the fee. He tells them to pay the $20,000. It's very smart, though, basically. He's like, I'm just going to be a nuisance. This will never end. I will dedicate my life. I've got nothing but time and one case. I will be your living nightmare. Or you guys, as a law firm, absorb this cost, pay your client, and I go away today. 100%.

I don't know if that would really work, but not a terrible plan. Yeah, if you don't feel like dealing with it, you know what I mean? Like if you don't feel like, because at the end, if he does indeed win, he doesn't get to pay their fees. Right. Yeah, I think that's how the law works. And it's only going to cost him a lot. Anyway, I love the fact that when they leave, Winston hands him his business cards and wants to play in the big leagues. Turns out it's just a baseball card. That's pretty good. Strong open, strong close for Winston, got to say. 100%.

Not the bar. Then this weird tag. It's, I mean, it's so. Where Cece is going to go out with a baby and the guys razz her as they should. Yeah. As they should. You know, it's weird. It's so weird. Again, I don't know how to, I don't know what to say about it other than I'm troubled.

I don't want to continue down this journey of, um, encouraging your, I would like to say for the record, I've never dated anyone younger than me or weirdly older than me. I've always stayed in the age appropriate bucket. Well, just, just the Hannah moment. Well, you played it too well. You played it really well.

That's all I'm saying. I feel like you could see my awkwardness in this episode. But it was actually a very cute end to this episode. Nick walks back into the loft. He finds Jess passed out, covered in paperwork. She's wearing a velvet rabbit hat. I don't know if you saw that. Yes. Yeah, I saw that. I was like, oh, that's so sweet. Paid for with that bunny money. That's right. And then I was like, oh, is he going to be bummed because he's won his case and she's sleeping? But he loves her so much and all he says is,

I thought it was real sweet. He holds her hand and lays down next to her. That was special. Let's go to a commercial break so we can keep thinking about how special that was. Here's why April chose to vaccinate her child. I think actually meeting someone who was not vaccinated and now has a lifelong struggle with a childhood disease.

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Have you guys ever represented yourself in court or small claims court? Why and how did it go? Can I say something really quick about this? Short answer, no. My favorite TV show for a very long time, daily viewer, daily, was People's Court.

I've seen all the judges. There's been like nine judges on that show over the years. Okay. I've seen them all. I have my favorites. I won't say it out loud who my favorites were, but I sat there and watched like civil court in America for many years daily. Loved people's court. And I just have to, hey, if someone would fender bender, little pickle, no real injuries. I'm not a bad person to call.

Oh, so because of your TV experience. Because of my TV experience. Well, I got to say, you wouldn't be my first call. I'd call a real lawyer, one of those people you see on a billboard or a bus stop. I did apply to law school and did not get it. I should say that out loud. Oh, boy. No GED, no law school. I have two degrees. I just didn't get into law school. Sure, sure.

So I have. I've been to small claims court. When I was very young, my first apartment, me and a couple buddies, they were trying to keep our security deposit. I want to say that was the case, and we needed that money back. And the issues with the house that were issues were not really our problem. Mm-hmm.

It was their problem for not being great landlords. All kinds of stuff that happened. And we took him to court and we won. Get out. We won. We won. That's impressive. Yeah. Yeah. That was fun. But yeah, besides that, no, I am taking Jake Johnson to small claims court. That is a real thing. That is a real thing. We can discuss it later. Is this over the lobster? Yeah.

No, it's not over the lobster. But why are you bringing up evidence that you don't need? Don't do that. Don't bring up shit that's going to cost me in court. Well, I was going to say his treatment of your gift. I thought you were suing him. No, not for that. It's for other stuff. It's deep and it's troubling. Got it. Okay. Have you ever had to fire a friend from a job? If so, what's the best way to do that? I've never been a boss of anybody like that. No, I've never had to fire anybody. I'd be terrible at it.

I'd be like, Jess, I'd be like, what other things can we do to make sure that like you stay in this job? I would be terrible at it. If I had to fire nannies. Yeah. How'd that go? Not great. Not great. It's, it's, you know, they're not getting along. My daughter, you know, toddlers don't get along with a lot of people, you know what I'm saying? But like this one in particular, uh, I'll just, if I had to fire two nannies, one of which did the ultimate no, no.

My thing is if you're taking my daughter to the park, if you're taking her anywhere out of this house, put your locations on on your phone. For sure. Turn that on. And when I FaceTime answer, when I call, answer. It's optional. Yeah. You have my baby. Yeah. And she knew this. Yeah. And then one time she leaves and I go...

Like five minutes after they leave the house, she says she's going to the park. I'm getting some work done. I'm just literally on a Zoom or something like this. And I keep checking the phone to see her location. And it's not on. And I'm like, what the hell? So then I'm like, hey, guys, hold on one second. And I go call her. She doesn't answer. FaceTime, she doesn't answer. An hour goes by. And I lost it. Sure. I was – you have no idea. You have no idea. When she got back to my house, it was like –

It was all hell broke loose. And she was just like, I'm sorry, I forgot. I just, you know, I didn't, I left my phone in the car. I was heated. And I was like, my sister was like, I'm gonna need you to go in the other room and I'll handle it. You know what's hard though? Here's the thing. And your sister was right to do that because as a parent,

When moments like that happen, you are not in your right mind. It's all visceral. It's primal, right? It's ancestral. Like your bones are like somebody took my child. It doesn't matter if it's rational or not. You can't rationalize with somebody when something primitive is happening in your body. Yeah. It's it's you're you're you're not in the right space. Right. And so, yeah. So I had to I had to fire her. Yeah. Yeah.

Do you both plan on coaching your children in sports? We talked about this. We did talk about it. You're a no. Nope. And we thought snacks. I also don't know if this is going to be your... I'm not going to give them drugs. You know what you should do? You should be the guy organized like the transpo.

get like a cool like oh yeah i get a sprinter van get like a that's right maybe this is the vibe that's cool you feel that spreader van with light orange slices marijuana okay no i think this is someone else's meals next someone else's gonna be all snacks

up you guys what a funny episode honestly yeah anytime the three of you guys are locked in a room together trying to get away with something it is comedy gold like the Jess coach storyline is great and funny

More heartwarming. Let's just be real. The CC Buster one is weird. Ben Falcone, though, came in and was so committed. It's made it hysterical. But the three of you guys doing this legal drama, one of the funniest things completely forgot about this episode. What a fun rewatch. Oh, yeah. Thank you, guys. Thank you all for listening. We really, really appreciate it. Dope shirt. You're rocking there, Hannah, as always.

Please make sure you follow us on IG at The Mess Around Pod. You got questions, you got videos, you got anything you want to show us, say to us, or concerns. The Mess Around Pod at gmail.com is available for you. We'll be back next week, episode 320.

landing. I would also like to say the week after that mark your calendars. I want to see you sending out those invites from your calendars because 321 big news! Max Greenfield will be joining us for the episode. That's right.

That was The Mess Around, an iHeartMedia production. Our executive producer is Joelle Monique. Our senior producer is Abu Zafar. Bay Wang provided engineering and editing services. Additional production from Daniel Goodman, Wendy Heisler, and Kyle Chevron. Our theme song was written and composed by Ronald Jukebox Jackson. Catch you next time. Bye. Listen as Selenia tells us why she chose to vaccinate her daughter.

Right after my daughter was born, my husband and I are having to decide whether or not to get her vaccinated. I definitely felt like the pros far outweighed the cons. The diseases that I am protecting my child against, they're still here. Talk to your child's doctor and learn more at whyvaccines.com. Brought to you by Merck.

We've all been there. I mean, I've been there. In the line at the grocery store, waiting for your latte at the coffee counter, pick up at your child's school, everyone standing around in silence, eyes down. But what if you smiled first? Colgate is here to give you the confidence to do just that. One smile can break the tension and open the door to a real connection. It's a small gesture with a big reward. Colgate helps you show the world your confident smile. With the best all

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The Unshakeables podcast is kicking off season two with an episode you won't want to miss. Join host Ben Walter, CEO of Chase for Business, as he welcomes a very special guest, chairman and CEO of JPMorgan Chase, Jamie Dimon. Hear about the challenges facing small businesses and some of the uh-oh moments Jamie has overcome. Listen wherever you get your podcasts.

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