322: Dance
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Catch the new Hulu original comedy, Mid-Century Modern, from the creators of Will & Grace, executive producer Ryan Murphy, and director James Burroughs. When three best friends move in together, Palm Springs will never be the same. They're fun, they're fabulous, and they're turning life's lemons into spiked lemonade. Shake up a batch of cocktails, relax by the pool, and get ready for some serious shade. Mid-Century Modern stars Nathan Lane, Matt Bomer, Nathan Lee Graham, and Linda Lavin. Mid-Century Modern premieres March 28th, streaming on Hulu.

We've all been there. I mean, I've been there. In the line at the grocery store, waiting for your latte at the coffee counter, pick up at your child's school, everyone standing around in silence, eyes down. But what if you smiled first? Colgate is here to give you the confidence to do just that. One smile can break the tension and open the door to a real connection. It's a small gesture with a big reward. Colgate helps you show the world your confident smile. I like that. Yes!

Mess around. Mess around. Mess around. Mess around. Mess around. Mess around. Mess around. Mess around. You had an eye patch, perhaps? A pirate. Oh, wait. Okay, wait. I just want to say this out loud. Okay? I'm very excited about this episode, so I just want to say this out loud to you, Lamar. Yes. Our next episode that we're going to do is the finale. It's Cruise. Oh, yeah. Okay?

I will be up in Canada when we record that episode. And I have this idea because it's the season three finale, right? And I remember shooting that on the Queen Mary? Queen Mary. Yeah. Being stuck on that big haunted creepy boat. And I thought for Cruise, when we do the podcast and don't, I know what you're going to say. So just like,

Just try to not destroy me right now. Okay, just try to be kind. I'm going to say the words and you're going to start. I will do the podcast from my boat. Stop. I see you can't help yourself. And you can do it from like a flamingo floaty in your pool. And we can just do the podcast on water. Water.

and record cruise because cruise was one of the craziest made no sense insane ridiculous new girl episodes ever to record and i feel like our podcast should reflect it when we record now you can make fun of me for having a boat hannah how are you hearing yourself right now the elitism you you you just said i'm going to record the podcast from my boat

Hannah, do you know how hard it is to get a boat? First of all, let's talk about a boat and how much the maintenance is in order to keep a boat. People don't even own boats. They charter these boats because billionaires don't even own a lot of these boats because it's a waste of money. Hannah, you have so much money that you are leaving one home to go to another home and then go record from your boat in another country.

I just want you to sit with this in this moment and shame on you for all those years that I harassed Zoe about having a private jet. And you are sitting here thinking, oh, I have an even worse investment. It's a boat. And you never said anything about it. It's a worse investment. Well, because I know who I'd be talking to if I told you.

Leave me in my little boat alone. Here's the thing. Here's the truth of it. You're going to sit there and you're going to record that podcast with me from your flamingo floaty in your pool. And you're going to see me on a kayak. I got a pool, but I ain't got no flamingo floaty. So that's my pitch for how we record the cruise. Because that episode, even thinking about recording is stressing me out. Hannah, your Wi-Fi is already bad enough.

This is true. This is true. I can't cop to how good the podcast will be. Although I did just get asked, I did just get asked if I wanted to be on, and I can't make it, to be on an episode of a show that I hadn't seen yet, Below Deck. What? Oh, if you want to do it. Lamorne, you got asked to be on Below Deck? Yes. I'm going to pass out. Can you do it instead of me?

I'll do it with you. Two days in the Caribbean? Two days in April? They will destroy you. That's the point of the show. What do you mean, destroy you? It's fun. You get to go with your friends and whatever. But that's the fun of it. They kind of tear you down. Talk shit about me? Yeah, a little bit. That's the show. They tear you down if they try it.

Testicles out. What you gonna say? Ooh, that's so fun, though. Yeah, but if you want to do it, Hannah. I don't want to do it because I watch the show and I'm too sensitive to put myself out there like that. Too fragile. Anyway, let's jump into this episode, shall we? All right. The episode is 322 Dance. Dance.

Dance. I remember this episode. Oh, such a good one. Such a funny one. Such a funny one. Now, in this episode, Jess calls on the troops to help out with chaperoning her school dance. As you can imagine, this goes horribly wrong, resulting in Nick getting a buzz off a deadly soda concoction, Schmidt challenging a student to a foot race, and Winston being flocked by a bunch of teenage girls, leaving Coach and Cece to pick up the pieces. When the dance is in jeopardy,

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We'll be right back.

Stay ahead of the pack with available off-road features like Crawl Control or break out your tunes with the available portable JBL speaker. Toyota trucks are built to last year after year, mile after mile. So outlast every adventure and outlive the moment. Buy a Tundra or a Tacoma today. Vendor.

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This podcast is sponsored by PayPal. With PayPal, you can easily pool money with your friends. So if you're renting a place at the beach together, no one in the group has to pay for the booking on their own. Or you could pool your money together to buy a gift for a friend with PayPal. It makes birthday season in my friend group so much easier. Or even just use PayPal to split the bill at dinner. Pay all your pals with PayPal. Download the app now. A PayPal account is required to send and receive money. A balance account is required to create a pool.

Catch the new Hulu original comedy, Mid-Century Modern, from the creators of Will & Grace, executive producer Ryan Murphy, and director James Burroughs.

When three best friends move in together, Palm Springs will never be the same. Bunny, Jerry, and Arthur are already close friends. But when they decide to live together, it's a new chapter with a new family. And speaking of family, don't forget Bunny's mom, Sybil, who was going along for the ride. Whether it's a trip to Fire Island or a local congresswoman with a wild side, these roomies know how to do it with style. They're fun, they're fabulous, and they're turning life's lemons into spiked lemonade. So

So shake up a batch of cocktails, relax by the pool, and get ready for some serious shade. A new comedy with heart, soul, and sass. Mid-Century Modern stars Nathan Lane, Matt Bomer, Nathan Lee Graham, and Linda Lavin. Mid-Century Modern premieres March 28th, streaming on Hulu.

Okay, so have you ever noticed how we hold back our smiles in awkward situations? Okay, but here's the thing. Sometimes, sometimes a smile can change everything. And Colgate is here to give you the confidence to smile first. Okay, so the other day I walked into a meeting and I just felt like the person I was meeting with was just sizing me up, just staring at me. Super awkward. But I remembered.

smile first. So I did just a quick confident smile. And guess what? They smiled back. Colgate believes a smile can break down walls. And it's true because instantly the whole vibe just changed. Or like last week, I'm at a coffee shop. There's a long line and the barista's flustered.

I smiled first. A, hey, you got this kind of smile. And they smiled back. And the guy behind me even cracked a joke. All because of a simple smile. Smiling first might feel like a bold move, but it helps you put the best version of yourself out there. Colgate helps you show the world your confident smile. Directed by Trent O'Donnell. The best. Written by Rebecca Adleman and Ryan Coe. The best. Two of the greats. Two of the greats. Trent's also one of the greats. Yeah.

Whenever I see Trent's name when he's directing, I always know that I will have an easy time shooting. I know. He knows your strengths, your weaknesses. He's not going to push you to do stuff that you can't do or it's going to make you uncomfortable. And he always makes you more comfortable when you start to do stuff that you probably didn't think you were capable of doing. So whenever I see his name on something, I go, huh, this is going to be an easy week and a fun one.

He's the greatest. He's the greatest. There's a reason why he is basically, you know, like a cast member, a new girl. He's like such a central figure in the new girl family. He's the best. He's the best. Um, so another great episode. And I think they probably gave this one to him because it was like a trickier one. Wasn't in the loft. It wasn't the usual stuff. Um,

Yeah, it had so many little moving parts to it. And yeah, of course, it's a great episode. Good job, Trent. Great job, Trent. So we're on the heels of a breakup, right? Jess and Nick have broken up. It's over and it's out. Everybody knows. But life goes on and work goes on. How many times did they break up?

A few. So stupid. I love when she unrolls the banner for the school dance at the top of the thing when you guys are sitting down at the top of the episode. And it's a lot of Evers. Love is forever, ever, ever, ever, ever. And there are 12 Evers. And it's very clear that we are in a show about relationships. Because here we go again. Here we go again. Shocker. They broke up. And she's trying to deal with it. And she wants to have this...

She wants to have this school dance. It's very, very important to her. She wants the students to have an incredible time. And in that moment, Coach Winston and Schmidt, they walk into the living room. Schmidt picks Jess up and he coddles her. This hug. Are we going to talk about it? What's happening? Why did she go so limp? Because she doesn't want to be touched. She wasn't expecting a hug, so she's just like...

You're going to do what you're going to do, I guess. She does the toddler flop. And then Winston's like, he's got hug number two, locked and loaded, hard or soft. Such a strange line. Such a strange line. This next scene in the makeshift sauna where they're having a schmitz was so funny to me and caught me off guard because I did not remember this ever being on our show. Sexual tension between Schmidt and Nick.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. In the bathroom. Sweating it out together. Just sweating it out. Nick, you know, Nick says he misses goofing around with Jess. They've come up with a new rule where they can't be in the room alone together unless it's with Winston because he naturally takes the sexual tension out of her room. You know, I take a lot of this personal. I do. I take a lot of this personal, which is why...

and there is the writer's fault so what i did was i made it my life's mission and i've completed it to sleep with every new girl writer how's that sexual attention you guys i mean berkeley told me you were one of the best he's got that long hair um this bit that nick talks about where he's now trying to start to take care of himself is eating a lot of salads

Just mainly the proteins, which is just chopped up pieces of ham and no lettuce because lettuce is disgusting. Huge chunks of ham. You know what? That's what Lily does. That's what Lily does. So I'll make like a little salad for her, but it's really just chopped cucumbers. I'll have like pulled chicken and like a little bit of rice, beans. I'll put it all in like a little thing and I'll call it a salad.

And I'll be paying attention while she's only eating the chicken, right? And then she'll say, I ate my salad today. And I'll go, Lily, no you didn't. You just ate the chicken. You just said the chicken. She said the cucumbers, because the cucumbers have seeds in it. She goes, it's got the, I don't want it. It's got the white things on it. That's the cucumber. I don't want it. That's what cucumber is. She's like, I don't want it.

Oh, man. But anyway. Schmidt is talking to Nick while they're schvitzing. Schvitzing is confused because he doesn't understand how Cece could want a 20-year-old over his ripe berries. Then when he comes in, he says he needs a schvitz. And then he asks why his sweat smells like asparagus. Schmidt confirms that he does take the sexual attention out of a room.

And Winston is confused. And Lamorne was confused, quite honestly. Because he says he heats up every room he walks into. You put him next to a dozen eggs, they hatch him. And then Nick turns to Schmidt and lets him know that there was no sexual tension before Winston came in. Oh man, they gonna do it. They gonna do it one day. Now, Jess, she addresses the other teachers.

slash chaperones for the dance. And then she thanks them. None of them volunteered. None of them. Now Jess is paying everyone in custom hats that she made that say chaperone except for Gary the janitor. Gary says being a janitor isn't his whole identity. He calls Jess the third hottest white teacher. So funny. And then this is when we get the, this is when we involve Coach in the mix because

You know, Coach knows how, I mean, they're friends. You know, he knows how important the dance is to Jess. And he says, these kids aren't going to get away with anything. If they want to bang, they're going to have to bang through me. Then he says it again. He goes, if they're going to burn, they're going to have to bang through me. Jess talks to one of her students, Wendy. Wendy. Her mom is making her go to the school dance. Wendy is going to wear a shark shirt.

to the dance. It's clear Wendy does not want to go to the dance. That was kind of like me a little bit growing up when we had these dances. I would show up with every excuse not to go to them because I was like... That was me too. I would never want to go to... No one ever asked me to dance. Well, they knew you. I had no reason.

Word got out to the 11-year-old. That girl can't dance. Oh, my gosh. No, no one ever asked me to dance at a school dance when I was a kid. And so I would feel so, so shy. It's so funny how you look back now. And now I'm like, thank goodness. And Hannah cannot dance. We're going to go to break. When we come back, we're going to discuss why she never danced.

This is Rob Parker from The Odd Couple with Rob Parker and Kelvin Washington. The Toyota Tundra and Tacoma are designed to outlast and outlive.

Combining raw power with precision engineering, all backed by Toyota's legendary reputation for reliability. Climb inside a Tundra and experience the uncompromising strength. With its available i-Force Max engine, the Tundra delivers exceptional power...

We'll be right back.

Stay ahead of the pack with available off-road features like Crawl Control or break out your tunes with the available portable JBL speaker. Toyota trucks are built to last year after year, mile after mile. So outlast every adventure and outlive the moment. Buy a Tundra or a Tacoma today. V.

Visit buyatoyota.com, Toyota's official website for deals. Or stop by your local Toyota dealer to find out more. Toyota, let's go places.

This podcast is sponsored by PayPal. With PayPal, you can easily pool money with your friends. So if you're renting a place at the beach together, no one in the group has to pay for the booking on their own. Or you could pool your money together to buy a gift for a friend with PayPal. It makes birthday season in my friend group so much easier. Or even just use PayPal to split the bill at dinner. Pay all your pals with PayPal. Download the app now. A PayPal account is required to send and receive money. A balance account is required to create a pool.

Catch the new Hulu original comedy, Mid-Century Modern, from the creators of Will & Grace, executive producer Ryan Murphy, and director James Burroughs.

When three best friends move in together, Palm Springs will never be the same. Bunny, Jerry, and Arthur are already close friends. But when they decide to live together, it's a new chapter with a new family. And speaking of family, don't forget Bunny's mom, Sybil, who was going along for the ride. Whether it's a trip to Fire Island or a local congresswoman with a wild side, these roomies know how to do it with style. They're fun, they're fabulous, and they're turning life's lemons into spiked lemonade. So

So shake up a batch of cocktails, relax by the pool, and get ready for some serious shade. A new comedy with heart, soul, and sass. Mid-Century Modern stars Nathan Lane, Matt Bomer, Nathan Lee Graham, and Linda Lavin. Mid-Century Modern premieres March 28th, streaming on Hulu.

Okay, so have you ever noticed how we hold back our smiles in awkward situations? Okay, but here's the thing. Sometimes, sometimes a smile can change everything. And Colgate is here to give you the confidence to smile first. Okay, so the other day I walked into a meeting and I just felt like the person I was meeting with was just sizing me up, just staring at me. Super awkward. But I remembered.

smile first. So I did just a quick confident smile. And guess what? They smiled back. Colgate believes a smile can break down walls. And it's true because instantly the whole vibe just changed. Or like last week, I'm at a coffee shop. There's a long line and the barista's flustered.

I smiled first. A, hey, you got this kind of smile. And they smiled back. And the guy behind me even cracked a joke. All because of a simple smile. Smiling first might feel like a bold move, but it helps you put the best version of yourself out there. Colgate helps you show the world your confident smile. And we are back.

We, I mean, this is going on, what is this, the third episode? Third episode of Buster and Cece. I'm telling you, it makes me crazy. It's making me crazy at this point. Just watching it is making me crazy. And I actually enjoyed the fact now that the boys are just going to pile on and make fun of her because long overdue. This needs to be openly mocked. 100%. But, you know, you're in good hands because Winston can't get the joke out. Solid friend. He wants to, but he can't bring himself to do it. He's like, just come back to me. Come back to me, please. Yes.

I got something. Yeah, but CeCe's like justifying it, saying that Buster is more of a man than all of them. Come on.

He's been to 40 countries. He builds boats. He trains snakes. I mean, come on. Come on. He says all the boys do is hang out with each other like 12-year-old girls. Yes, men hang out with each other. We share ideas. Okay? We talk about how we're going to build the world. You know what I mean? Brave new world. That's what we do when we hang out. It's definitely the Winnie, Nick, and Schmidt conversation. Thank you for recognizing that. Thank you.

Yeah, and then where are we at now? We're back at the school, and unbeknownst to Jess, there is some sabotage happening. The gym is locked. That's right. In a way they cannot get it open, hoping that the dance will be canceled. That was the intention of this lock by whoever did it.

Yes. But Jess will not be broken. No, she will not be. So she calls Cece. That's right. She lets the boys know all the chaperones bailed on the dance and that this is a job for men to do. So they all chest bump. But when they chest bump, they hurt Winston's shoulder. Which makes a lot of sense. As I'm saying that,

I'm realizing that my shoulders actually do. You got an ache. Yeah. You're an empath. I know. I feel the pain all over the world. Then this is a fun moment. It was a fun little character moment for Cece. New skills. Who knew she had? But she breaks open the lock with a tire iron. What? This is a Mafioso kind of aspect. I love that it's only Schmidt who's not surprised and is delighted by it. Yeah. Coach is terrified. Yeah.

This is my favorite part. Well, I don't know if it's my favorite part, but it's right up there. Coach tells the boys that they're under his control for the night. Yeah. That the little kids, these bastards, will hurt your feelings. This pep talk. He starts adding out, Schmidt is on snack duty and needs to make sure diabetic Amy gets only two cookies or she'll pass out. Schmidt's just like, she's going to get no cookies. No, no, she actually needs two cookies. She needs two.

And then Winston is on dance floor duty. And then Winston says, no one's getting pregnant tonight. Why? So problematic. And then Coach says that Nick isn't chaperone material. Nick says that he can get into kind of a bad kid. Get into the mind. The mind is an important part of that sentence. Yeah, I was like, the kind of bad kid.

Whoa. Nick says that he can get into the mind of a bad kid and stop them before they do anything stupid. Right before that, was this the moment? I wrote this down. Coach was like, we're going to have six inches of separation. And he does this. He's just like, I have six inches of separation. And it's clearly a footlong. That is a bit that I always do whenever we're talking football.

like distance or length about something. I do it in my regular life. I do it on my other podcast. I do it when I'm talking to people and I can't help it. Now, if ever inches come up, I make them way bigger than what they actually are. Does anyone call you out? Yeah. Kyle does all the time. He's like, yeah, that checks out. That's about, that's about three inches right there. Um, anyway, um,

Which I do believe Damon improvised that moment. That with his head. Oh, 100%. Now, Winston hits the dance floor, right? And then Call Me Maybe comes on. Catchy, too. And he can't help himself. It's coming out of him. Yeah. And then right before he gets into that big moment, Coach tells him to put his heat away.

And he apologizes, but that's the problem. It's too late. Too late. The girls now, middle school girls, they clocked it. Yeah. Misplaced heat. You know what I'm saying? Misplaced heat. You got to keep that heat in your pocket. You know what I mean? And then they start chasing him. They start following him around like lost puppies. I mean, shooting this episode definitely felt like when I was in middle school.

Yeah, it was very strange to do it. And it's one of those things that's like marks the passage of time. You start to realize like, oh, I'm I'm real young actors that are there on the day. And you're like, oh, I'm I'm so old to you. Yeah, I'm a hundred weird day because we aren't our show never really had children on it. And it was a weird day to be like, oh, these are like young aspiring actors that are like 10 or 11.

They're so little. This to me was so, man, triggering because Schmidt then talks to Tommy who is a bully and calls him out of his name and is so mean and relentless towards Schmidt. You know what I loved about it though is, I'm sorry, but there are some kids at that age that are just awful people. And I was like, yes.

Tell the truth on that. There are some kids, that's why some of us got bullied at school, even at that age, who are already fully in their personality of being awful people to young and old alike. And I was like, this character, I love. You should be able to, at that point, he kept calling him a flamer. He was roasting Schmidt.

At that point, a kid should be allowed to get punched in the throat. One solid shot. That's what life is like, bro. That's what life is like. You keep talking shit. I can't believe how strange Schmidt was. I was like, you are holding it together. I didn't know Schmidt was capable of. In my mind, when rewatching it, I thought, wait, does Schmidt hit him or something? I thought for some reason...

I was like, he's going to take that punch. All right. Like trip him down a flight. Something happens to this kid. Right. But none of that happened. None of it happens. Disappointing. Then there's another active sabotage. The lights go out. Jess and Cece poke their head out and they see one of the teachers running down the hall and they chase him. Cece then shows she's the toughest.

And they go in to do good cop, bad cop. And in such funny writing, Jess's understanding of what's a good cop and what's a bad cop is so funny. They're all over the place. Oh, man. Try to interrogate him. Then there's Nick.

Oh, yeah. He comes outside. He's, again, trying to prove that he could be, you know. He sees the kids outside drinking sodas. He's like, you think I'm a roan, dude? Just short for chaperone. So funny. You think I'm a roan, dude? And then he's like, what you got? He's like, you got any juice? And he married Jane. And they give him some of the drink. He takes a sip and he spits it out. Now, this is something that

all young kids can identify with. I'm not sure if this was just like a dude thing when we were kids, but we would go to the soda machine and we would mix all of them together. And when you think about it, it's actually just the same amount of sugar, just because it's all the same. But the flavor, the flavor is so good. - So is it a real thing to call it a suicide?

I don't know if that's what it was called. Because I thought that what he was saying is like when he took a sip and spit it out, like, did you put something in here that could kill me? No. I didn't realize that's just like the name of a mix of sodas. Like that's what you call that. Yeah. That's just the name. Oh, funny. You know what I mean? I didn't know. I just thought he was like Scott scared for a second that what he was drinking could kill him. Did you put arsenic in this? Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, man. But Schmidt goes back up to Tommy just to apologize to him. He's like, okay, you know what? Oh, yeah, this moment. But he gets on one knee and this little boy, again, sees the rose tip. He's like, I'm not going to marry you, dude. He had to get down on one knee because that's how small this child is. I know. To speak face to face. That's how small this child is. And he still gets destroyed. Gets destroyed by a mean little kid.

And so Schmidt challenges him to a foot race in the parking lot. Meanwhile, this group of girls. Also hysterical. Like that's what you're going to do to prove a point to this child? You're dealing with dudes. You're dealing with dudes. A foot race? You're a grown man and a child. A duel? Are you going to challenge him to a duel with old school pistols? No. Old revolvers? I ain't going to race his little ass.

And then beat him. And then, which is true, by the way, that's something that we used to do when we were kids. Yeah, but if an owl challenged you to a race, you wouldn't be like, this feels unfair. Your legs are longer and you're bigger. No, no, no. You should be faster. Unless they're Olympians. And then, meanwhile, this group of girls is grown. It's definitely doubled in size and they are all smitten by everything that Winston says. Again, it's like life happens. Yeah.

And then, you know, so Cece, Cece is apologizing. No, we're not apologizing. She's like comforting Jess. Yeah, they're having a real moment and it's very sweet. She's like, look, you gotta just let it go. Dance isn't gonna be perfect. Again, she knows what this is really about. Like, Jess is trying to distract herself from this breakup and

She's trying to do this perfect, like, love is forever moment for these young people. So they believe in love and are jaded. And it's bigger than the dance. And CeCe knows what's going on. Oh, yeah. Meanwhile, Nick is high out of his mind on soda. So he's jumping off of cars. He's catching mad air. And the two kids show him something else. They turned it up a little bit. The soda is one thing. But now a pile of fireworks randomly?

That's interesting and could have been potentially dangerous. Very dangerous. Like real dangerous. 100%. Nick says that, hey, we can get into a lot of trouble for lighting the fireworks, which is why I got to run really fast after lighting them. And he likes it. I'm not going to lie to you. It was very underwhelming. I thought it would be a lot more because there was a lot of fireworks there. It was like three that went off. And I was like, oh.

Nobody heard that. They were running out of time on that night shoot. They're like, it's fine. I know. Just do something. Yeah. Now Jess is with... So again, we're trying to find out who is sabotaging this dance. And it's not until Jess sees Wendy, the little girl from the beginning who didn't want to go, who wanted to wear a shark shirt to the dance. She was the culprit trying to sabotage the dance party because...

She thought that none of the boys wanted to dance with her. Very, very sad. And this very sweet moment happens between the ladies, Cece and Jess and Wendy. They're low-key. Jess just says, Cece knows a lot about men. Like a lot about men. Because she's very well-traveled.

She's got some miles on her. So shady. She's got some miles on her. I was like, oh my gosh. It's very funny. And as an adult and you're around kids talking in code, kids sometimes get shady. You're like, what do you actually mean? Because have you thought out what you're saying? And when you're trying to not say what you're saying, it's so fun and it's so sweet. And they're like, just so you know, boys are really dumb.

So don't worry about what they think. And also because they're dumb, we can use them to save the stance and still have a great night. That's right. And that's what they do. That's what they do. They call the boys. Meanwhile, they're about to race. We come outside. We see Schmidt who calls himself the Hebrew cheetah. And they do the count off. And then Tommy cheats. Cheats. Little bastard cheats. Little jerk.

But Schmidt, he catches up with him. Schmidt is a real sprinter, you know what I mean? But out of nowhere.

Oh, one of the dishes is flying in. This moment's so funny. Smoking him because he's flopped by 20 different little kids. Yeah. And he runs right up next to him. He's running for his life. He's running for his life. Nick is at the same time being pushed in a grocery cart by his new best friend. Strange friendship they got going on. And then Coach comes out and blows his whistle, putting an end

So all of this. These are all the chaperones. Just remember, these are the people chaperoning the dance. They're all out there causing and encouraging chaos in the parking lot. There's a reason they shouldn't be. There's a reason. They were late additions to the party. So they didn't get the training memo that they needed. And Coach is letting them know. He's like, you guys are the worst. You're the worst chaperones ever. And then Jessica. This is sweet.

I need you, stupid boys. I loved it. And they get on the microphone. Hannah, this part. I don't want to talk about it. Honest to gosh, I cringed and went underneath my pillows doing the rewatch. It's so for myself. Everybody else is fine. Just myself. I cringed. And I think the reason I remember this episode is because it was painful to do it. Mm-hmm.

And I think they probably ADR'd me because I don't even know if I could commit to it. No, they ADR'd someone else because I don't think I could. I was like anybody else, you guys. But here's why I thought it was funny. I thought it was funny because to me it was very clearly not you. It was a professional beatboxer. I was like... It's not my voice, you guys.

It could have been you. Honestly, they might have been like, hey, we'll change it. We'll auto-tune it. Lamorne, can you just do this in your ADR session to help out Hannah? For real? It could be. But then here's the part that, because this is how I know it wasn't you doing it. Because when they put my verse in, it was so offbeat. Yeah.

Because there was no beat. There was no beat that I was rapping to. On the day there was no beat. Yeah, I was like, why would you add an off beat? Why don't you just have her switch it up? Like, whoever added... No disrespect. All I was doing was this. Rap battles before. Yeah. That's it? I believe so. And so I was like... Silence.

As one of the greatest rappers of all time, I know for a fact I'm never off beat. So that's what, anyway, that's... I never cringed. Even whoever was doing it for me, the whole thing was so cringed to watch for myself. It's very rare I have moments where I watch where I'm just like, I need to just disappear myself. Yeah. Yeah, you should have disappeared. I agree, 100%. But yeah, then finally a student brings a boombox and then they get the real dance party going.

Schmidt dances with CeCe. Nick dances with Jess. Winston just leaves. It's a fun end to the episode. It's a party. Yay. It's a party. It's a party. Let's go do the break. Hey, it's Rich Davis from Covino and Rich. The Toyota Tundra and Tacoma are designed to outlast and outlive, combining raw power with precision engineering. All backed by Toyota's legendary reputation for reliability. Climb inside a Tundra and experience the uncompromising strength...

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Let's go places.

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So shake up a batch of cocktails, relax by the pool, and get ready for some serious shade. A new comedy with heart, soul, and sass. Mid-Century Modern stars Nathan Lane, Matt Bomer, Nathan Lee Graham, and Linda Lavin. Mid-Century Modern premieres March 28th, streaming on Hulu.

Okay, so have you ever noticed how we hold back our smiles in awkward situations? Okay, but here's the thing. Sometimes, sometimes a smile can change everything. And Colgate is here to give you the confidence to smile first. Okay, so the other day I walked into a meeting and I just felt like the person I was meeting with was just sizing me up, just staring at me. Super awkward. But I remembered.

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Do you remember your first school dance? Anything in particular stick out from that first dance? What I remember about my first school dance, it probably wasn't my first school dance, but the first one I remember, it was in Cyprus. And me and my best friend wanted to go wearing matching outfits to the school dance. So we went and got these green, oversized, wide-legged jeans.

Okay, like huge, like massive wide leg jeans and wore it with like a belt. And then we wore it with like a really tight little white tank top. And we both showed up and she was like freckled redhead, super cute. And then me was me. And we showed up to the dance and in the same in the same outfit. And we felt a very cool vibe.

Did you get laughed at or were people like, that's cool? I don't know if anybody noticed or cared. But you did. We felt very cool. Yeah, I don't quite remember my first one. I should say it's because we love like TLC. It was like those like we're like we're drawing inspiration from style wise. And we're like, we're going to look cool as hell at the dance. And everybody else, I think all the girls showed up in like dresses.

And we were just like, you ain't ready for this crisscross in full effect. And they were just like, nobody cares about you guys. Stop. We tried. That's what I remember about my first school dance. You were totally crossed out. Yeah, I know. No, I can't quite remember my first...

This one is difficult because I went to a few of dances from other people's schools. Girls would invite me to those things. Wow, wow, wow. But nothing memorable. I could tell you one memorable moment from a prom that I went to with a really close friend of mine. Shout out to Alexis Joy. I went to her prom senior year.

And she lived in Indiana, so I drove to Indiana. Drove her father's car, who happened to be the preacher of our church at the time. So he let me borrow his Cadillac. And we were leaving the prom, and we were going to head into Chicago to go to like a party. And we're in this big caravan. So we're all following this truck that has its hazards on. And it's raining out. Now, we're on the Calumet Freeway, I think, right over the river or something like that. Anyway.

It's raining out. The conditions are not great. This truck that I'm following swerves out of the way last minute and I slam on the brakes because there's a car just sitting in the left lane. There's two cars. None of them have their hazards on and it's hard to see. So I notice it. I'm like, "Holy shit." Slam on the brakes. I get this close to the person and he's standing in back of the car. I get this close to him. The car behind me hits me.

After I stop, I make a complete stop. The car behind me couldn't stop. Hits me into that person. No. Yeah. Yeah. It caused a big pileup on the freeway. They had to get the little jaws of life thing, crane thing, because the dashboard had collapsed on my legs. Are you for real? I'm for real. The guy ended up losing his leg. It was a mess. I was beat up. Like, I was... And... And...

You know, what's crazy is that the guy had stopped to help a woman whose car had, but none of them put their hazards on, right? And none of them moved all the way over to the shoulder. They just stopped in that lane. It was a really strange situation. So he ended up, unfortunately, losing his leg, but also getting a ticket. No. They fined him. They didn't fine me. They didn't fine any of those drivers because it was like they had caused a hazard. Like they had stopped in the middle of the thing.

And nobody thought to put their blinkers on. Like their hazard lights on. I don't think you need to give the man a ticket last leg. I think they tried to sue me. No, I mean, you didn't see someone. Yeah, I mean, it was that was a moment. That's why you don't dance? No, that's why I stopped going to kids proms. This was last year. You gotta go. Oh man, next week.

I'm going to be on a boat. You're going to be on a flamenco floaty in your pool. You got to send one to my house. If I was here, we were in the same city. We would have done it together. Hanging out in the hot tub. That would have been fun. We're going to figure out a way. Somehow we're going to have water. I'm going to get Lamorne to somehow have water. I'll do it in the shower. Do it in your bath with little floaties on. I can do that. We're going to figure it out.

Hannah, you are ridiculous. You have a yacht and you haven't once invited me to a yacht. Wait till you see and then you're going to sit there and you're going to take a lot of this back. And say what kind of boat y'all. If I can make it happen. If I'm actually up there in Canada. But if it times out it's going to be fun. Well thanks for listening man. What a fun weird little episode. Oh absolutely.

dance um please make sure you guys follow us on instagram it's a great place to follow us the mess around and not in real life yeah please follow us on instagram you know it depends on who you are i don't mind a little stocky stuff i don't care don't say that stuff oh my lord unless you are zoe kravitz yeah zoe kravitz want to stalk me i'm okay with that see i guess there's exceptions

Save your questions, your concerns, your videos. Your videos if you're creeping outside of my house at TheMessAroundPod at gmail.com. We'll be back next week with episode 323.

That was The Mess Around, an iHeartMedia production. Our executive producer is Joelle Monique. Our senior producer is Abu Zafar. Bay Wang provided engineering and editing services. Additional production from Daniel Goodman, Wendy Heisler, and Kyle Chevron. Our theme song was written and composed by Ronald Jukebox Jackson. Catch you next time. Bye.

This is Rob Parker from The Odd Couple with Rob Parker and Kelvin Washington. The Toyota Tundra and Tacoma are designed to outlast and outlive.

Combining raw power with precision engineering, all backed by Toyota's legendary reputation for reliability. Climb inside a Tundra and experience the uncompromising strength. With its available i-Force Max engine, the Tundra delivers exceptional power.

We'll be right back.

Stay ahead of the pack with available off-road features like Crawl Control or break out your tunes with the available portable JBL speaker. Toyota trucks are built to last year after year, mile after mile. So outlast every adventure and outlive the moment. Buy a Tundra or a Tacoma today. Vendor.

Visit buyatoyota.com, Toyota's official website for deals. Or stop by your local Toyota dealer to find out more. Toyota, let's go places. This episode is supported by FX's Dying for Sex, starring Michelle Williams and Jenny Slate. Inspired by a true story, this series follows Molly, who after receiving a terminal cancer diagnosis, decides to leave her husband to explore the full breadth of sex.

Prohibition is synonymous with speakeasies, jazz, flappers, and of course, failure.

I'm Ed Helms, and on season three of my podcast, Snafu, there's a story I couldn't wait to tell you. It's about an unlikely duo in the 1920s who tried to warn the public that prohibition was going to backfire so badly it just might leave thousands dead from poison. Listen and subscribe to Snafu on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

This is John Cameron Mitchell and my new fiction podcast series, Cancellation Island, stars Holly Hunter as Karen, a wellness influencer who launches a rehab for the recently canceled. In the future, we will all be canceled for 15 minutes, but don't worry. We'll take you from broke to woke or your money back.

Cancellation Island's revolutionary rehab therapies like bad touch football, anti-racism spin class, and mandatory ayahuasca ceremonies are designed to force the cancel to confront their worst impulses. But everything starts to fall apart when people start disappearing. Karen, where have you brought us? Cancellation Island, where a second chance might just be your last.

Listen to Cancellation Island on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.