Shownotes Transcript
You're listening to an iHeart podcast. We've all been there. I mean, I've been there. In the line at the grocery store, waiting for your latte at the coffee counter, pick up at your child's school, everyone standing around in silence, eyes down. But what if you smiled first? Colgate is here to give you the confidence to do just that. One smile can break the tension and open the door to a real connection. It's a small gesture with a big reward. Colgate helps you show the world your confident smile.
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You guys, we have a very interesting...
episode for you guys today. Landline, directed by, I mean, basically a cast member of New Girl. It's so deeply embedded in the family, Mr. Trent O'Donnell, and written by Rob Roselle. You want to break it down? Sure, let's do that.
Now, in this episode, Jess is forced to crack down on teacher hookups when she finds out that Coach is doing nasty stuff with two of their colleagues. But when a charming new British science teacher is brought in, her own self-control is put to the test. Meanwhile, after a landline gets installed, Nick becomes the loft's receptionist, dishing out unsolicited dating and work advice. Let's go to break.
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Everybody has been there. Traffic was a nightmare. You got home late and your dinner plans are out the window when you hear the inevitable tiny voice saying,
I'm hungry. Yeah, that's when dinner dread sets in. What are you going to make tonight? How can such a simple question be so hard to answer? Well, it doesn't have to be because a delicious family pleasing meal from Stouffer's is only a ding away. So if your dinner plans are derailed, don't worry. Just turn to a delicious solution from Stouffer's, a meal that will always leave everyone happy, especially you. Maybe
Maybe some chicken enchiladas. Spaghetti with meat sauce is always a winner. Or how about some cheesy chicken and broccoli pasta bake? Yes, please. When the clock strikes dinner, think Stouffer's. Shop now for family favorites.
Okay, so have you ever noticed how we hold back our smiles in awkward situations? Okay, but here's the thing. Sometimes, sometimes a smile can change everything. And Colgate is here to give you the confidence to smile first. Okay, so the other day I walked into a meeting and I just felt like the person I was meeting with was just sizing me up, just staring at me. Super awkward. But I remembered. Super awkward.
smile first. So I did just a quick confident smile. And guess what? They smiled back. Colgate believes a smile can break down walls. And it's true because instantly the whole vibe just changed. Or like last week, I'm at a coffee shop. There's a long line and the barista's flustered.
I smiled first, a, hey, you got this kind of smile. And they smiled back, and the guy behind me even cracked a joke, all because of a simple smile. Smiling first might feel like a bold move, but it helps you put the best version of yourself out there. Colgate helps you show the world your confident smile. Are you still quoting 30-year-old movies? Have you said cool beans in the past 90 days? Do you think Discover isn't widely accepted? If this sounds like you, you're stuck in the past.
Discover is accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide, and every time you make a purchase with your card, you automatically earn cash back. Welcome to the now. It pays to discover. Learn more at discover.com slash credit card. Based on the February 2024 Nielsen Report.
And we are back, as you said, directed by Trina O'Donnell, written by Rob Roselle. Now, the episode is called Landline for obvious reasons. Now, I am interested, and write it in the comments below, how many folks, how many of our listeners...
had a landline or knew what a landline was, you know, because some of them are very, very young and they are not in the age of landlines whatsoever. I mean, some of them may have jobs where they work and they have the desk with the phone. That's still a landline. But a lot of those still use like wireless services. So I am curious to see
How many of these folks grew up with one? I know some of the people are our age for sure, but a lot of the young folks discovering new girl for the first time in recent years, I don't think they had landlines. I don't think so either. I think it's like, you know, this is what a phone looks like, you know, like, it's just like, that's the shape of it. That's how you hold it. Like there's no grip like this. You also, I was thinking, cause they talk about it in the episode when the phone rings and they're like, who's that?
And I was like, oh, yeah, you never knew who was calling. And if someone was using the phone, no one else can call. Right. Now, unless you had caller ID, which was a newer invention. But that was later. Then caller ID came in and then call waiting came in where you could hear a beep if someone else was trying to call. But those were like later inventions. I remember when I moved to L.A., I was renting a
like a floor in a woman's house and she was like you need to get a landline because the like the service up here is so bad if you just have a cell phone you might not be able to reach people and i was like oh my so i had to have like a landline and it cost two dollars a month and i was like you guys know you're going out of business right two dollars a month yeah that's crazy it was it was the craziest bill to pay
Also, I used it zero times. The cell phone worked just fine. I think she was just a little paranoid. Like, can I pay off the whole year up front? Here's $12. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, go ahead. Oh, man. So Jess gets a call from Principal Foster who calls her dog. Very strange. Jess calls him a son of a bitch. Yeah.
And they're trying to have this conversation and it's not going well because there is no reception that's happening in the loft because of construction, which I didn't understand. Well, what happens is when you build... So there's a million reasons why construction could do it. Maybe they...
they're using one of the poles, one of the lines, and it reduced the service. Maybe it's a tall building that's blocking signal, cell signal on that side of the building. I just feel like it's everywhere. It's everywhere. You're going to get service everywhere now. Unless you're out in the woods, it's coming for you. But I guess not. You'd be shocked. I remember years ago when I bought a house out deep in the valley,
And I was like, oh, this is great. This is perfect. This is perfect. And then I remember I had no cell service in that house. Get out. It's like, what the hell? I had to switch phone carriers. Well, man, you were in Tarzana. That was basically like the moon at that point. Yeah, but AT&T didn't work. No.
That's hysterical. So they're all in there. They're all on Nick's bed, leaning out the window. I do remember having to lean out a window in my old apartment like years ago. So all they're just trying to like get a bar, get a bar so that they can have their phone calls. And they're like, no, we need to get a landline. This is important.
They all look at it. Schmidt's like, what's the rope? Yeah. Yeah, the photo's sitting there. And it's just like, it's just a thing to them. It's almost like, which was shocking to me because this was 2014, I want to say. 2013 when we shot this one. It was shocking to me. 2014, maybe. It was shocking to me just because I was like, they know what a landline is.
I was like, why are they doing that? It ages down the network at that point. They're like, make them look like young ones. Yeah. They don't know what a bad line is. I did love the flashback, though, of a smooth, smooth young Winnie. This one people talk about a lot. I get questions about this a lot. And people send me different memes and GIFs of this particular moment.
Where Winston is smooth talking some ladies into a double date. Tell the girl to cut her fingernails. Which I thought was really funny because they pitched up our voices in that one. So if you know, like every time we flash back to, you know, young Nick and young Winston, like they pitch up our voices. Which I thought was like, oh, that's interesting. But I've always had this deep voice. I will say some people have.
real sexy phone voice. Some people just have that voice. Thank you. Thank you for saying so. I remember that. They were always like, ooh, they were so good on the radio. Did girls like that? Yeah.
If it spoke to you like that way, then yeah. There were some people I remember listening on the radio and you were just like, we'll have a crush on this person I've never seen. But just their voice is smooth. Sounds like cheesy as hell. Yes. All right, ladies. Ooh, that does it for me. Like, really? I guess it's better than, hi, ladies. I guess it's better than that. A little bit better than that.
But then you're imagining what they look like and what they are like as a person. So you're extrapolating a lot just from the voice. Oh, yeah. But if you look at David Beckham, he's not going to look like how he sounds. He's got a pretty high-pitched voice. You know what I'm saying? So if you heard David Beckham on the radio, you might miss out. Yeah, you could count him out.
You're a loss. There's your loss. There's your loss. So then we come back and Schmidt is saying he needs to go study for Businessman. Not Businessman Magazine, but Businessman. Businessman. Yep. It's like Jay-Z's line. I'm not a businessman. I'm a business man. That's right. And when he's busy and all of a sudden you just see Nick is upset because he can't just hang out and drink all day with his boys.
And he's missing the bonding and knowing what's going on in their life and all the hot goss. And he's home alone. And then his phone rings. Yeah, the school nurse calls the landline. Turns out
Yeah, she's sleeping with Coach. Now in her office, Jess, the newly appointed VP, she makes Coach and the school nurse sign some papers in regards to their relationship. This exchange between Coach and the nurse is so funny. And then when Zoe at the end is like, it looks like you're wearing a costume from Halloween Town. And she's like, yeah. Coach made me buy it. It's in child's media. And they're both so happy about it.
Oh, man. Is the greatest. Yeah. Having a work situation is crazy. I'm sure it happens all the time at schools. When you're a kid, you always wonder, but you never really know if it's going on. It is a sexy place. You got all these young people. They're caring. Their heart's in the right place. All these teachers. I'm sure things happen.
What? That's a terrible explanation of why a school is a great place to... I'm just saying, if you're a single person at a school working and there's other single teachers, I don't know why it's so bad. Why is it so bad to date? I don't know, because you're trying to set an example for these kids. Well, I don't think you have to flaunt it, but if you're a grown adult after school hours and you wanted to date, it doesn't seem terrible to me.
Yeah, I guess you're right. You don't have to have a love life. Where are you supposed to meet somebody? You want your teacher to go into the bar after work to try to meet somebody? Okay, so the nurse is all confused. And she's like, so what should we put down for like our relationship status? You put like a calamari on my finger like a ring. So I'm assuming girlfriend. He was like, is that what you got from that? And then Rose comes barging in and she's like, Ernie last night was amazing.
Angela Slay. She kills it. She's so funny. And then the women start fighting because Jess has blown up Coach's spot. Yes. Oh, yes. Yeah. Turns out Coach is quite, he's quite the attraction there at the school. I love it when later in the episode, he's like, I figured out who I am. Like, I figured out who I am in the school. I'm the guy that sleeps with everybody. Oh,
for you you you sorted that out um okay so now we are back with nick who's alone he's just doodling just doodling and the phone rings and it's a call for schmidt and then the phone rings again there's a call for winnie and then all of a sudden he's got a purpose that connects him to his friends and his friends lives and he's good at it that's right uh now nick asked winston about judy and
In particular, like who is this Judy person? Yeah, because then Winnie and Schmidt come back and he presents them with their alphabetized messages. Messages. That's right. Which is very strange for Nick, but it feels like he did find his purpose in this one, which was like, I'm going to be the secretary. The only thing that was shocking about it is that he knew the alphabet.
That was shocking. That was the only part that was shocking that he alphabetized it. I believe he took the messages and he would enjoy like hot gossip. But when he alphabetized it, I was like, man, you know, Jess really rubbed off on him in the relationship. That's a very Jess thing to do. That man knows ACBs.
And I'm like, why are they all on different types of... How many different types of sticky notes do they have? You know what I think it is? I just bought little almost like recipe cards, cue card things. And they usually do come in a multicolored pack.
No, this was beyond multicolored. This was like different shapes, different sizes. I'm like, he could have just grabbed one singular notebook and just wrote it all down on one note. But, you know, nobody did not do that. And that's fine. This is television. Now, Judy, you know, it's a girl that Winston met at the driving range. He's like, I didn't know you were golfing. He's like, no, I just go to watch. Yeah. That sounds like me. You go to a driving range to watch? Yeah. Yeah.
No, you don't. I wouldn't mind. I would go with somebody who wanted to golf. I don't like to golf. But if they're like, do you want to just hang out? Sure. I love watching sports and sporty things. You can bring me to anything where people are doing sports or sporty things. I mean, golfing is a really fun one to tag along because you often get to go on a cart and you get to just drive around. That's kind of fun. Yeah.
Yeah, but like the driving range is literally just one person hitting the ball over and over and over again. Yeah, but you like chat. I've been to the driving range with someone before and I just like hang out. And you didn't swing a club at all? No. Oh, Hannah. I'm a good hang. I don't know what to tell you. Hannah, I'm not sure if you know this about me, but I am a sponsored golf pro. Arnold, is that you? I am. What is that? It's a golf brand. Is it really? Carson's Extreme Golf. Oh. And you know, they...
They're looking after your boy now. Are they? They're looking after your boy. Yeah. Okay. I'm about to, I'm about to, I'm straight up, straight up and down. You're going to get to wear the green coat?
Yeah. I mean, listen, if I keep playing my cards right, I might, you know, I might get a grand slam in this thing. You know what I'm saying? When all the majors, you know, I might. Yeah. You have a very Serena vibe right now. I might. I'm powerful. You know what I mean? And I was just the other day, I was out there hitting some balls and crushed one of the balls so hard it exploded and then injured a bird.
It sounds like you might hunt him. Bird survived. No, no. Bird survived. It might have felt that way to the bird, but the bird survived. I nursed it back to health. I fed it milk from my person. Sure. And it's like it's out there thriving right now. You know what I'm here for is the representation of you being the first male lactating golf pro. I wouldn't say first. There are others before me that paved the way for sure. Yeah.
but uh i just learned from their lead you know i can't take credit for that yeah yeah yeah i can't yeah no um yeah it's important we discuss it we say it aloud speaking of important um the julian morris is the guest star on the episode yes he's so incredibly just lovely to watch
He's great. He's so great. He's so talented. And you can tell it's so funny. Some people when they're on camera, they just have that thing, whatever that magic thing is. And you just believe every expression on their face. He just has that thing.
And he's just so lovely. Anyway, so here is Jess kind of giving it to Coach being like, you can't be sleeping with all these people and it's wrong and you're in trouble. There's all these forms and we have to. And then Principal Foster introduces her to the new British teacher. Ryan goes in you. I can't. It goes in me. It goes in Jess. It goes in me. All of us at some point. I know. And she
can't handle it and she's now all of a sudden very much like um in the micro episode where she was just like i know i'm not shallow and in this one she's like i know where the boundaries are in my workplace she is now being tested in the most horrifying way in last week's episode it was with the absolute worst dude and now it's with the absolute best dude oh yeah
Oh, yeah. Ryan goes in you. Ryan goes in you. I love at first when he's introducing him. He's like, and he sounds a little, what did he say? He sounds a little different. He goes, go ahead, say something to her. He's speaking loud to him. He's amazing.
From a different planet. Yeah. It's always an amazing thing to me if someone speaks multiple languages and usually the other person can only speak English. Right. And they're just like, so your country, how...
And they forget to speak English. I'm like, say the whole thing. Just say like, so how is it in your country? I speak English. Just say the whole, why are you speaking like you don't speak English? You think I'm slow? When that person speaks like five languages. Five languages, yes. Say all the words. You're the slower. You the slow one. Also, why are you shouting? Yeah, okay. All right. We're going to go to break when we come back. We're going to be in the three-way call. That's right. That's right, which is so silly.
It's very silly. Everybody has been there. Traffic was a nightmare. You got home late and your dinner plans are out the window when you hear the inevitable tiny voice saying, I'm hungry. Yeah, that's when dinner dread sets in. What are you going to make tonight? How can such a simple question be so hard to answer? Well, it doesn't matter.
It doesn't have to be, because a delicious, family-pleasing meal from Stouffer's is only a ding away. So if your dinner plans are derailed, don't worry. Just turn to a delicious solution from Stouffer's, a meal that will always leave everyone happy, especially you. Maybe some chicken enchiladas. Spaghetti with meat sauce is always a winner. Or how about some cheesy chicken and broccoli pasta bake? Yes, please. When the clock strikes dinner, think Stouffer's. Shop now for family favorites.
Okay, so have you ever noticed how we hold back our smiles in awkward situations? Okay, but here's the thing. Sometimes, sometimes a smile can change everything. And Colgate is here to give you the confidence to smile first. Okay, so the other day I walked into a meeting and I just felt like the person I was meeting with was just sizing me up, just staring at me. Super awkward. But I remembered.
smile first. So I did just a quick confident smile. And guess what? They smiled back. Colgate believes a smile can break down walls. And it's true because instantly the whole vibe just changed. Or like last week, I'm at a coffee shop. There's a long line and the barista's flustered.
I smiled first, a, hey, you got this kind of smile. And they smiled back, and the guy behind me even cracked a joke, all because of a simple smile. Smiling first might feel like a bold move, but it helps you put the best version of yourself out there. Colgate helps you show the world your confident smile. Are you still quoting 30-year-old movies? Have you said cool beans in the past 90 days? Do you think Discover isn't widely accepted? If this sounds like you, you're stuck in the past.
Discover is accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide. And every time you make a purchase with your card, you automatically earn cash back. Welcome to the now. It pays to discover. Learn more at discover.com slash credit card. Based on the February 2024 Nielsen Report.
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So Nick three-way calls Winston and Schmidt, and he gives them their midday messages, which is so silly. I like his rundown of it. Nick called Judy, told her Winston wasn't feeling her, so he sent...
He also sent the magazine a picture of Schmidt against his will. He just picked a random picture. He picked the most recent one on his phone for accuracy. He thought that was the best branding move. Yes. Which is just him yelling at him on the couch. Yeah. He had a very weird looking position. Kind of blurry photo as well. Yeah. And then they hang the phone up.
And then Schmidt calls Winston. And I don't know where this came from or how this, I remember shooting it. And it's funny how they put it together, but it's literally just us going, and then I just love when Winston goes, wait, who is this? It's like, it's Schmidt. Haven't you ever done that with like a friend? I for sure have done that with Wendy on a call where I'm like, yo, and she's like, yeah.
Yeah, back in the day for sure. Yo, yo, yo. And she's like, yo. And it's just very weird. But you just kind of do it because now you're kind of both like laughing at your own little weird thing. And then finally, when you run out of all your hey, oh, then you're like, all right, so what you doing today? Yeah. What you got going on? Very real friendship moment, man. Rob Rizal and Trent letting that moment breathe. Mm-hmm. And it worked out. Worked out.
Oh my God, they just shut it down. Oh yeah. The meeting, they're in the teacher's meeting about relationships. And I love... I'm already laughing. Okay, go, go, go. No, you know, her whole demonstration is, you know, if you ever get into a situation with someone, you have to, if they get close to you and you don't feel comfortable, just say, shut it down.
you know, shut her arms go up. They come back down, shut it down. And coach is obviously trolling here at this point. Coach is like he, cause he knows, he knows she feels some type of way about Ryan. And, and this is also for the betterment of everybody else who clearly they want to be, they want to, you know, they're like, what'd he call it? Principal Foster call him hoes. He's like, they want to, they want to do it. So,
He asks for a visual of this. He's like, I'm a visual learner. Yeah. And so she tries to get Coach to do it. She tries to get Coach to do it. Yeah. She's like, fine, Coach, get up here. And he's like, no, get the new guy up. And what's so sweet about how Julian portrays this is he...
He always plays everything like in knowledge. So like, it's not like, oh, I guess I'll go up there and it's going to be fine. You see him like already looking at Jess being like, I know you don't like, I know what they're doing. And I, I don't want to put you in that position. And so he kind of goes up there and he's just trying to like make this painless for her. He's already, obviously the, you know, the attraction is mutual. And so he's just trying to like, like I'm on your team too.
Yeah. Yeah. And then she talks through the example and the coach is like, no, no, I need to like, you guys have to act it out. I really have to see it. And then he gives her a little massage. Mr. Goes in you. Oh boy. And she forgets where she is and what she's doing.
Oh, right before that, right before that. Yeah. Right before that, back at the loft, Schmidt is trying to have you re-record the voicemail. Oh my God, this scene. And you're just saying it in the most plain, boring voice. And he can't. You're trying to turn on the nation. He's trying to, the old nation aroused. Yeah.
I will say, man, shout out to our writers. They really did make me feel good about myself because they really did. As opposed to last episode where they called you a six and a half, they were really selling me as a hard 10 every single episode. And I don't think I'm a hard 10. And it was a very sweet moment. And the way I, I, there's nothing more that I love than someone being like, like,
like yelling and mad because they're so into you. Like, I think it's so funny. It's a funny, funny thing. And the way Max always played it, like he was so angry that she couldn't just say it, not sexy, but it's really his lens of that. Everything she does is just the hottest thing. And he just, he can't take it.
My favorite is when he makes a comment later on. He goes, I listen. It was when the actual, we will get there, but it's just funny. It's when the voicemail goes out and it breaks. When he's like, well, you probably, cause you listen to Cece's voice a million times. And he goes, yeah. And then I touched my peen. I know.
Once again, why are we saying the quiet parts out loud? It's so funny. The freedom these friends have in the loft. I was like, okay, well, we didn't need to say it. I also love that the CC character just is like so unfazed. Like she knows, she knows, and she knows he's the guy to say it out loud too. Yeah. Now back at the school meeting, coach keeps on antagonizing Jess. Yeah.
And this demonstration he's trying to see. And then it leads to Ryan, like you said earlier, rubbing Jess's shoulders. Because she looks tense. He goes, oh, you look tense. And he starts rubbing her shoulders. And when she goes to shut it down, she can't. She's actually like, yeah, it's a little lower. Yeah, just like that. The wolf patch. Yeah, the wolf patch. And then when she goes to shut it down, she actually touches his. Yes. His ping. She does an accidental bonk. And she is mortified. Because now she's just.
Touch somebody. This is the whole thing. She's now done this. And then she goes to show what she was trying to do and then does it again. Again. Literal nightmare. If that ever happened to me, I would move. Yeah. Oh, 100%. Are you kidding me? Now back at the loft.
Now the answering machine is not working. Yeah, so Nick was pretty hurt because he was like loving his job of being a secretary, loving being there for his friends. It gets revealed that he even bought himself a secretary. Yeah, he did. And he was like, look, the computer's going to take over and all the robots are going to take over and you're going to miss me. And then guess what? The answering machine is on the fritz and it's not working. And when he's like, don't say anything to Nick.
Right. Yes. Then we have the beautiful hysterical peen moment that Schmidt says about Cece, that Schmidt is the one who broke the answering machine. Yeah. And then when Nick comes in, he comes back into the living room and Schmidt asks him if the magazine's called.
Yeah. Check the machine. Oh my gosh. Now, Nick jokingly tells Winston that the magazine did call. This is so crazy because this is multiple episodes where Nick is kind of sabotaging. He's messed with his job. The fact that Schmidt is still employed with Nick around is crazy. Because it feels like he's trying to sabotage that man. Yeah. And he's like, they did call and they do want to do their interview with Schmidt today. Yeah.
And, you know, Schmidt had already left because he's trying to get the damn, you know, recorder or the, yeah, whatever you would call it, the answering machine fixed. So he's gone. And Winston asked him, he goes, why didn't, why didn't he say anything? This interview, man, it's very important to Schmidt.
And Winston asked Nick, like, hey, man, there's something bigger going on here. So what's really going on? And he says he just, you know, he just misses them, you know. And answering the phone makes him feel connected to him. And Schmidt actually, I mean, and Winston actually understands. Yeah, it's a very sweet, like, emotionally mature moment between both of them. Mm-hmm. That felt very shocking. Yeah. Oh, and the phone rings. Yeah.
That's right. It's the magazine. And they want to do the interview right now. But Nick tells Winston that he has to do it. He's magical on the phone. So Winston grabs the phone. He tells Nick he needs a soda and a straw. And he also needs to get horizontal. I will say this. As the owner of that couch, I saw you get up and put your shoes on it. And it didn't sit right with me.
I got grossed up on my couch now. A lot more happened on that couch than you probably should. I know, I know, but I don't have to see it. And it was really weird that in my body, the first thing was like, get your shoes off my couch. Hannah, can I, you know how many times we stood on that couch playing True American? I know, I know, I know. I'm just saying when I watch it this time. But when I get it, when I do it, it's like, oh, he can't step on it. Because I know you were raised better. That's all. Shout out to your mom. I can guarantee you when the crew is breaking down the set,
Some crew members were sleeping with each other, and I guarantee you they slept with each other on that couch. Some crew members were sleeping with each other? No. Yeah. I don't think so. You know what I do think about, though, is because I know a lot of people did take naps on the couch. Like, for the billions of years we had that couch. And here's what I really do think, and it does gross me out about the couch a lot. Yeah, but it's leather, so it bounced off. Blah.
I don't like it. Just to squeeze the, you can know if you just push the cushion down and the air comes out and it smells like innards. It smells like bowels. I will say, man, Winnie on the phone was very smooth and actually sells the deal way better than Schmidt ever could do. Even Schmidt, what it stands for. Yep. Some can have money.
I desire thoughtfulness. I mean, amazing. And then watching like Max and Jake high five in the background because they're so happy. It's amazing. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. There's been multiple episodes where Winston proves himself on the phone, which is hilarious. That is true. But when the writers come up with this stuff, it's like, it's fascinating.
It's funny. It's very creative. It's very funny to get to add that there's this to get to get so much mileage out of, oh, this person's good on the phone. Like that very basic thought. And you get multiple episodes of hilarity out of it. Yeah. All right. Now we're going to wrap the episode up because Jess walks into coach's room. She says, sorry. She realizes now that it's sometimes hard to control your feelings. And then he apologizes.
She's repealed the policy. How convenient. But she's repealed the policy. And then Ruth...
pops up from under the covers. It's hot under there. Can I tell you what I thought was going to happen? I don't know if you thought this was going to happen too because the scene was going on really long for a new girl scene. It just seemed like really long. They were talking, Jess and Coach, and then finally Ruth pops up. And then I thought what was going to happen is you were going to see Rose pop up. Me too. That's what I thought was going to happen. I was like, oh man, Ernie. Missed opportunity. Missed opportunity. I thought that was going to happen too. Yeah, that's what I thought too. I was like, all right. Yeah.
The next day at school, Principal Foster says he's tried to corral these animals, but teachers are just straight up hoes. Oh, yeah. And then he tells Jess that, you know, two administrators like themselves could hook up. But he's not attracted to her. Only Asians. Oh, I mean, Principal Foster. Again, why? Now, you know, Schmidt, the bad boy of marketing, it's officially out. With the photo. It's in print.
And then at the end, outside, you hear a boombox screaming for Winston, which I've heard before, screaming for Lamorne right outside my door when they show up with boomboxes often. And, you know, that's Judy. That is Judy. Another creative female pick for Winston. Yes, 100%. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, let's go to a quick commercial break. When we come back, I just want to mess around a little bit.
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And we are back again.
- Yeah babe. - What's the craziest in office secret relationship story you've heard or had? - Yeah, have you had one? Have you dated a coworker?
I have. Me too. I have. Again, where are you supposed to meet people? Like, I know right now, like, online dating is, like, a big thing. But, like, back in the day, it kind of wasn't. And so you met people, you met them. And, like, of course you're going to meet someone at work. Because often your boss sucks and work can be hard. And that's how, like, you bond and connect. And it's the person you're spending time with. Yeah. I think it's weird that there's, like, there's this big rule around it.
Yeah, it is strange. It is strange. I think just because of work productivity of what happens when you don't work together anymore. Yeah, but then they're just going to do it in secret. They're not going to not do it. Two people are into each other. Well, here's what I mean. Here's what I mean. If you break up.
than the issues that it causes at work if you especially if you work in the same department like if you're two cast mates and you're doing it and you break up you're gonna notice that there is some sort of weird energy yeah but there's no rule around that on an acting set and like right it's like not a traditional workplace and so people do date on sets because wasn't there like the craziest story i don't know it but i just know it's a crazy story with like dexter
Wasn't he like with his wife and his girlfriend and it was a whole situation in Dexter and it got very messy for everybody in the crew. I think that's true. I think that was the craziest one I ever heard on. And there was like multiple articles because he had to continue working and the women had to continue working there. Yeah. And it was like very challenging.
I could imagine. Yeah, that's one thing that I don't, I wouldn't date a, as an actor, I wouldn't date a coworker in a project that I was working on. Now, if it had ended and you guys had a thing, then I could see it, you know, if you pursued it after the fact. But I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it while we were working. It's too, you never know what scenarios the writers are going to write. You never know what scenarios they're going to put you in and you never know how your partner is going to react. Like if you're a couple and then they
constantly have you dating these other women that come on the show. Yeah.
For storyline purposes, you never know how people react to that. Every week, I'm making out with some different woman. You might feel some type of way about that, even though we know it's pretend. Yeah. And I might feel some type of way if every episode she's doing sex scenes with somebody else. That's right. I'm like, that's weird. And the acting workplace, it is a wild thing. But it's also hard, I would assume, because if you have real chemistry with somebody and you're both single and like, oh. Yeah. Stuff can happen. But I had like...
right office romance was just like in a normal job it wasn't that exciting in cyprus it was very very chill i think i've actually had several and they were all like because again where else were you gonna meet somebody yeah but there was no like um consequence to it there was like boss being like i've heard yeah there was no consequence to mine um because it wasn't we didn't
We didn't make it a thing and make it crazy. Right. Like it didn't. And we were in two completely different departments. Yeah. I think it's normal. People say they met at work. I don't know. The teaching thing, it does feel weird to me. Teachers, I'll say this again. I do want to hear if you have met your partner at work. Was there any consequence to it? Like it seems so strange to me. I'm here for teacher love. What's that show with something, what's it called? May, December?
What's that about? I don't know. You watch these romantic movies. I don't watch romantic movies. I didn't watch this one yet, but I should. I should. It's got Corey Michael Smith in it. He is a fantastic actor. I got to check that out. Anyway. Oh, I know which one you're talking about. I read about it. I didn't watch it. Yeah. May, December. Yeah. It's about a teacher. About a teacher...
Why am I, great actresses. - Yeah, no, super famous persons in this. - Their names, yeah, I'm dropping their names for some reason. But anyway, yeah. Did she put it in the chat? No, probably not. - May, December, Julianne Moore and Charles Melton.
Natalie Portman. Natalie Portman. Yeah. Just like a murderer's row of actors. Just like the most gorgeous, talented, award-winning trio. I just know Corey Michael Smith said it because I just worked with him on Saturday night. He's on that movie. Yeah, that was a big movie. I remember that. So anyway, he... Oh, yeah, yeah. With Dexter. He dated the woman who played his sister.
I remember that, but I didn't know he was married when he did it. I think there was something. I don't know. I got to read up on it. I'm so sorry, Dexter people, if I got that wrong. But I heard that there was some real drama. Putting out allegations. I know. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry to get back there, Mom. Okay, so our next question is, should we go back to landlines? Do you remember recording your first voicemail? I think landlines are cool because you know the service is going to be fine. Everybody should have one because when service is an issue-
If I'm at home, yeah, I'll call from the landline just to make sure we're clear, just to make sure we're good to go and locked in. I remember, I don't remember recording my, actually I do, I do. But mine was a silly one. I'm drawing a blank on what exactly it was, but it was one of those like, it was one of those like, I'll act like we're having a conversation and then go, nah, I'm just kidding. Leave a message. Everybody did that message where it was like, you went like this. Hello? Yeah. Yeah.
Hey, I'm actually not here, man. And that person has just been talking. Yeah. You would leave your message like that. That was so funny. Yeah. It was fun to leave your own voice message. And now you don't even do it on your iPhone. It's so funny. Nobody like leaves a message really, like records one anymore. You just kind of like, whatever. Yeah. What I used to do was record a song. I used to record a song too. I used to have some like music playing and then I would come in. Yeah.
Lamorne here right now, y'all. You just hear like some like Jodeci in the background. Yeah, that's how I used to do it. I remember, here's what I will say about, I remember my first landline. I used to live in Saudi Arabia and I remember my first landline and I think the phone number was like six numbers long.
Like it was like so short and sound because they didn't have like a ton of phone. And so it was like the shortest phone number in the world. And I remember feeling really proud as little as like seven years old. And I was like, I know my phone number. And now retrospective, I'm like, yeah, of course you did. It was like literally six numbers.
I hope you remember that. Yeah, I hope you remembered six numbers in a row at age six. Yeah, way back in the day, man. Here's what I will say. When I lived in the hills and I had to get the landline because she told me there's no service up in that house and I got the landline, it was annoying because that phone would just ring.
spam people get landline numbers and so at night what the crazy thing was I'd have to unplug the phone because you can't just be like I'm going to put you on silent that doesn't exist so I'd have to unplug the phone and then you have to remember to plug in the phone and I was like this is ridiculous I need my two dollars back
I know, because it does keep you up. I had the same thing recently, because, you know, depending on the, I think it was Spectrum, when you get Spectrum cable service, you know, they make you get the whole package of the internet, phone, whatever. It's cheaper if you get the phone included. And I'm like, all right, I get the phone included. And I had a little landline phone that just, I never used, but it would ring all the time. Yes, it rings all the time. I'm like, who's calling? It would ring more than my own. No one has this number, except Spectrum.
So same thing. Had it unplugged. That's right. That's what I'm trying to say. The joke of it is you can get the landline, but then it's actually somehow more annoying. And then you just unplug it. And now you just got this relic. Yeah. They just want to your house. They just need that two dollars, man. Making millions that way for everybody to give you two bucks. All right, y'all. That was a landline. If you like this merch, you can barely see because of my hair.
So cute, though. The coziest sweater in the world. You can head to themessaroundpod.com. Buy it for yourself. A loved one. Good birthday gift for all those diehard New Girl fans. You can follow us at themessaroundpod on IG. And send in your office romance stories. I want to know. And I want to know if there's consequences. Because that feels crazy to me. Yeah. Well.
100%. And I think there's a lot of people, the consequences are high for some people. Lose your job because you found love. You lose your job. You mess around, sleep with the wrong. Let's say you're in the mob and that's your job and you sleep with the head of the mob's wife. Yeah. That's an office romance. You lose your legs for that. That's it. Those are real consequences. Yeah. Oh my God. All right. Anyway, love you guys as always. Stay safe out there, y'all.
That was The Mess Around, an iHeartMedia production. Our executive producer is Joelle Monique. Our senior producer is Abu Zafar. Bay Wang provided engineering and editing services. Additional production from Daniel Goodman, Wendy Heisler, and Kyle Chevron. Our theme song was written and composed by Ronald Jukebox Jackson. Catch you next time. Bye.
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