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Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. Let's see, let me put my phone on do not disturb because this next hour is going to be
I would just like this flag for the people that are just listening to the show and don't watch this on YouTube or see clips on our IG. I forgot what this episode was about. I forgot that there's going to be a whole storyline about my breastises. And that has not aged well and is slightly problematic. And so today I am wearing a...
Turtleneck. Turtleneck. Yes, sir. Because turtlenecks cover your breasts. Everything. Everything. I was just like, you know what? This is what I'm wearing for this episode. Turtleneck. Since there is going to be many conversations about this part of my body.
yeah i forgot it was that aggressive it's aggressive yeah i was like damn this is straight up like hey take him out and let me say bye can you yeah but anyway we'll get there we'll get there you guys uh by the fact that on the rewatch i got blindsided by it and then i didn't remember how bad it got and then i was sitting there i'm like how yeah
But it's almost like the beginning of this episode where Nick kind of explains all of the nicknames he has for the women he's hooking up with. And he goes, if I put the oops on myself, it's about me and my faults and not her. And that's basically, though, how they got away with the breast reduction storyline. They made it about Schmidt being...
An idiot with severe issues. And that takes the heat off of the CC part of it. Yeah. It's still a little problematic. Anyway, let's get into it. Run it down.
Okay, in this episode, Nick fakes being gay and creates a new alter ego, Gay Nick, in an attempt to make Jess's new boyfriend, Ian, feel less awkward about their past. Meanwhile, Schmidt absolutely loses it when CeCe mentions she might get a breast reduction, prompting him to do everything in his power to save his two best friends, Harold and Kumar.
Elsewhere, Coach tries to get Winston to stop playing his long game with their sexy neighbors, Michelle and Viv. We'll be right back. And this episode was directed by Russ Alsop. Who was our DP. He was our DP. That's right. Our director of photography. Yeah. So we got a chance to direct it, which, of course, makes it a great episode because it
He knows the show inside out. He helps all the directors with, you know, how they're going to frame it, how they're going to shoot it. Like he's kind of like the whisperer. So the fact that he was no middleman per se, like he just got to do it himself. It was really quite cool. And he had one of the greatest writers that was ever a new girl. Berkeley Johnson wrote it. This is of course, episode four, seven, a gold mine. When I tell you Russ, when I directed it, like for all the directors out there, aspiring directors, make your deep. Everybody has been there.
Traffic was a nightmare. You got home late and your dinner plans are out the window when you hear the inevitable tiny voice saying,
I'm hungry. Yeah, that's when dinner dread sets in. What are you going to make tonight? How can such a simple question be so hard to answer? Well, it doesn't have to be because a delicious family pleasing meal from Stouffer's is only a ding away. So if your dinner plans are derailed, don't worry. Just turn to a delicious solution from Stouffer's, a meal that will always leave everyone happy, especially you. Maybe you'll be able to make a good meal.
Maybe some chicken enchiladas. Spaghetti with meat sauce is always a winner. Or how about some cheesy chicken and broccoli pasta bake? Yes, please. When the clock strikes dinner, think Stouffer's. Shop now for family favorites.
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This summer, Disney Plus is going retro for real with all of your Disney Plus and Hulu throwback faves. An endless rewind on Disney Plus with The Princess Diaries, The Lizzie McGuire Movie, and Freaky Friday. Could you, like, chill for a sec? Then with Hulu, throw it back with Gilmore Girls' One Tree Hill and Full House. You got it!
All these and more now totally streaming with Hulu on Disney+. Bundle subscription required. 18+. Select Hulu content on Disney+. Additional content on Hulu app. Terms apply. You're a cinematographer. You're a best friend. They help you with everything. They correct your mistakes, make you look good. Russ was like, every step of the way, he would look at my shot list and go, nope, nope. Try this. Try this. Okay. Yep. Yep. So he was great. He was great.
Okay, let us dive in. I will say this. I just want to say that about Russ, another thing. What was so cool about Liz is that she had a lot of friends that were super talented writers that were also thinking of directing. And she gave quite a few of them opportunities to come and direct on our show because it's hard to get on a show. How do you direct for the first time something big? And so she gave that opportunity to them.
And then set them up for full success because she had Russ there to sit there and support them. And so the episode came out really great. And then a lot of them have gone on to be really great directors. But they needed to get their foot in the door and then prove themselves. And New Girl was a great show to do it on because it just had that...
reputation of producing great TV. And so she really did use her platform to help a lot of female directors kind of launch their careers, which is very cool. She did. She was the best. She still is the best, even though she doesn't return my phone calls. That was said at their wedding, remember?
At their wedding, when she married Alex, they gave out Alex's phone number because Liz is so notorious for not responding to texts or phone calls. So you got to contact the husband. Yeah, he's Hollywood with me too. They're both Hollywood with me. They're in New York now. They got a New York life. Yeah, I know. Oh, they're in New York now? Jeez.
That's stupid. All right. Okay. This episode is crazy funny. I also forgot about all the weird stuff that happens. And the boys, by the way, do give really good advice to her. You can't tell somebody that you're trying to bring home to have some fun with that you live with your ex. You can't. Yeah. Well, I think you can. And it takes a mature person on the other end to accept that.
But in the beginning, that's like asking a lot of a person to trust that your situation is cool. In the beginning, it should be fine still because it's like, I don't owe you anything. Like, I just met you. We're going on a date. I live with my boyfriend or I live with my girlfriend. Like, or ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend. It's so close to the beginning that it should be okay. And then over time, the closer you get, the more you get to know that person that they live with, the more you could possibly be okay with it.
But then at some point it's going to have to change. I think it's weird from the get-go because in the get-go when you start dating somebody, it's that point where the slightest thing, you're like, I'm out. The chew salad weird, I'm out. And it's like, we're going to go back. First of all, if you just say I have roommates, it's already like, okay, so I guess this is going to be a...
very quiet situation. And then to go like, and one of them I was sleeping with last week and it was very serious. I had big emotional, you know, relationship with him. And I said, I love you. And we loved each other. Then why would you sign up for it? Yeah. You go, no, you got to use it like Nick uses it, which is it's time to leave.
Yeah. If you're an individual who truly believes they're playing a fish in the sea, then sure, you don't have a problem attracting your partners out there. Then yeah, you could be like, I don't need this. I'm going to go find Oprah. You know?
Yeah. Should be that easy, right? There's no problem. Oops. I'm available. Oprah, I feel like Oprah. I feel like Oprah outside. And I feel like Oprah just, we probably don't know this about Oprah, but I feel like Oprah just be out here getting it in. Just on the low. And don't tell anybody. Oh, I just hit my, like that was so, my computer just started to have a seizure at the thought of you saying anything unkind or weird about Oprah. My computer just started to like shake.
I believe Oprah is listening. I love Oprah so much. Oprah, Beyonce, I believe they are all listening. Yeah, wouldn't that be cool? Hey, Oprah. Hey, Beyonce.
Okay, so... So this is happening, that she's trying to go and get this guy. How does she say it? How does she do it? Is she going to be emotionally mature and just tell the truth to this guy? Nick is like, do not make up a lie. They offer a bunch of suggestions, which I think are great. Meanwhile, Winston is playing a risky game with the neighbors. Yeah, you know...
I forgot about it. I forgot about it. I honestly, I thought they were just in one episode and I forgot that it's like they live there now. And I just remember like as I was rewatching this going, oh, is this where Winston's acting like a little bitch? It's like playing a long game. And the way they would write it and set me up, it made me look like such a simp. Such a cuck. Yeah.
You know what, though? It's not the worst strategy, right? I mean, to sit there and go like, I'm going to just sit here and be the hero.
Every day for these women. I'm going to be the hero. I'm here all day. I'm also here all day. So that if any dude comes in, kind of like the situation across the hall, they're going to be like, who's this good looking guy hanging out here doing all this stuff with you? And so then that guy might go. And so it's not a terrible strategy that Winston has, except for it's like he's not
creating moments of opportunity to change the nature of the relationship which is a bit of an issue right and we see obviously at the end we'll get there but it how it was weird it was sad and weird at the very very sad very very sad um yeah then here comes the moment we're gonna kick off this storyline good god okay go ahead
It's so weird. It's so weird. So Cece is looking through Jess's bras. What an intro to the storyline. And we've all done it. Just dug through a bra drawer. Just imagine. No, when I'm at my boy's house, I'm always going through their underwear drawer. Let's see what we got here. Can I rock this? Can I rock that? Yeah.
Just normal. Just normal. Can I just rifle through your panty drawer? Yeah. No big deal. We're friends. The fact that Jess is just like, okay, fine. Like nothing's going to fit you. I don't know what you're doing. I remember though, reading this script and I was like, how weird is this going to be? And I was actually very concerned because it does say that she shows them. And I'm like, how are we pulling this off? Like, I feel so uncomfortable about it. But they did it in a way that was fine and funny and made sense.
So here's the thing I will say. I will say is that I remember being whatever, 15, 16 and telling my mom I wanted a breast reduction. When you were 15 and 16? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Oh boy. Yeah. I remember telling my mom that and she, I mean, she basically had the reaction that Schmidt had. Yeah.
Yeah, I'm like, did she, was she, 15 or 16, did she question you, you know, on whether or not you knew what you were talking about or what that entailed? She knew what I was talking about. And she was wise enough to know that it was really just societal pressure.
And I know that sounds strange, but every single magazine, different magazines than 15-year-old boys are looking at, but every magazine that was geared towards girls, the girls were just like super...
rail thin and they had just like t-shirts that would just kind of like hang effortlessly or, you know, it was just different. And it, I was just, I looked like a grown woman and it was just weird. And I just thought like, I just want to, this is a focal point. I would like it just to be quote unquote normal and feel normal. And so my mom was like, why don't we wait? Why don't you wait? And, and we'll talk about this in like 10 years from now.
And she's, and it was just, and then she said something that was crazy, which she knows that I'm going to share today, which is crazy. Cause she was just like, let's just see when we get the first complaint about them. Shall we? As in you're feeling all this body pressure.
From women and from the what the standard of women is supposed to be and how they're supposed to look and how thin and how small all your body parts are supposed to be. And she was just like, you haven't started dating and going out in the world, but you're also going to see there's a lot of love for your body, which hopefully then will make you realize you've got a great body. So just like, wait, you're getting information from the world that's forming things in your brain about what to love and not to love about your body. Just wait. There'll be more information coming. Well, I feel like you knew a lot of information at 15, 16 because you were a bartender.
I was working at a bar at 15 years old. I was. But those guys were all like my brothers, man. They kept me so safe in that bar. It was good to work at that bar. Anyway, all that to say, it was funny to sit there and hear this thing about I want a breast reduction because it brought me back to like a real conversation I had. And then someone who loved me, who basically was like, let's just...
Take a beat before you do some major surgery. Let's get more information from life and from the world. And you can figure this out for yourself later. I've been thinking about getting a reduction too, but we ain't got to talk about that. It's crazy. It's crazy. It's crazy. Wait till next week when we talk about the ruler episode and all the rappers that are lying.
I don't know why I said that. Such a good line. That's the next episode. Okay, okay, all right. So then Schmidt hears down the hall, CeCe talking about the breast reduction surgery, comes, I mean, it's the funniest as they stand, Jess and CeCe stand and just hear the footsteps getting louder and racing like breakneck speed. And she opens the door, she's like, wonder who this could be. He comes busting in screaming no.
It was so funny because you are basically whispering this to Jess in the room. And you just hear him screaming on the outside and flying down the hallway. Which means the room's got to be bugged. Every time CeCe comes over, he just like sits there and like listens to like the bug in the room. No, when it's CeCe, he just listens. He's just like hyper aware. And I love the fact that even with that stalker-like behavior,
Cece still loves him. You know what? It's weird, though. You know, you just like have that weird friend and you just know.
Like their weird isms and everything. You're just like, they're harmless. So you don't get offended by them when you love someone and know somebody that deeply versus a stranger. Like if Nick had said it, Cece would be like, I'm calling the cops immediately. Right. And so there's a difference in your relationships and how you know people and accept their weirdness. And I think that that's the sweet dynamic of like Schmidt and Cece. Yeah.
All right. Then Schmidt goes to the bar. He goes through his like, you know, weird phases of anger, depression, denial, acceptance, being a crazy person. And then we're back with Winnie and Coach.
Yeah, you know, Winston is telling Coach that he doesn't want to stray from his long game. You know what I mean? He's still got some things worked out. Coach is letting him know, basically, that having sex is not about planning ahead, man. You just got to seize the opportunity. And then Coach pitches a crying Schmidt on hanging out with four new boobs. It's so funny how we're like...
How we're personifying breasts. We're personifying breasts, and we do it again later on in this episode when he's comparing Coach and Winston, and there's a lot of confusion. But it's so funny, in order to make this stuff okay, that we have to keep it personified.
We have to like, instead of just straight up saying it, we're like, call him Harold and Kumar. You know, he's like, hey, can I introduce you to four new, you know. He goes on two different women. Women. Which is also.
What's that as a response? Those things kill me. Is there a four-boobed woman out there that we don't know about? You thought you were going to be her tonight? Yeah, you ever been to West Virginia? I mean, they got some things over there. The boobs up here, the underboobs under here. Yeah, some total recall stuff.
All right. So Jess is now trying to like get up the courage. She's going to handle this in a mature way. Right. So she's like, I'm going to take you back to my place. It's a cute little moment.
Then she has to say she lives with her ex and she has to tell him that it was serious and that they didn't say I love you. And he's like, I'm out. You know, I've been on a bunch of weird dates. I don't want another weird experience in my life. I'm like max out on the weirdness. And then she starts to take on the guy's script from the beginning where she's like, there's nothing to worry about. He's gay. He's gay.
And it's maybe, again, it's like the weird thing of the Schmidt and Cece, like her accepting his absolutely inappropriate weirdness that you see that there's like true chemistry there. The level that Nick tries to go, even though he's so bad at it, the level that he tries to go to support her hookup is nothing but love, which is what the guy calls out at the end.
Yeah. This man's in love with you that he would even try when he's clearly terrible. And what is he? I'm terrible at lying, but I'm great at make-believe. He's also terrible at make-believe. Oh, God. Um...
Anyway, so Jess tells Nick a lot about his backstory. He tells her he's not to put him in a box. Don't put him in a box because gay men hate that. So funny. We're going to get back into Nick being gay or faux gay. Fagay. Fagay. He's a fagayzy. When we come back. And we are back to our podcast.
We're back to the Messaround podcast with Hannah Simone and Limorne Morris. So if you were trapped on an island and you could only bring three LPs with you, what
Which records would you like to listen to? Emmy Award winner Lamar Morris will now answer the question. LPs? Oh, I thought you meant little people. Not long pieces. Emmy records. There's only room for one. But Benson Boone is my new favorite artist. Benson Boone. Oh my God. Mr. Magical Man he is. Yeah, I just saw him perform last night again. That's the first time I'm seeing him perform.
Went to some event, but he's a buddy of mine. - Benzin Boom? - Yeah, randomly me and Jay, I don't wanna say buddy, I say acquaintance, but we're becoming buddies.
Probably not. But anyway, this is a manifest moment. Yeah. He's such a great. He's such a great performer. Isn't he American Idol? Someone just told me that the other day he came up American Idol and they did a full like Harry Styles glow up on him. Right. Yeah, I believe so. He was like it was we were at a basketball game and Jake, it was me and Jake at the Lakers game. And Benson was sitting right in front of us. And Jake, like a little bitch, was freaking out.
She's like, that's Benson Boone. That's Benson Boone. He likes Benson Boone? Yeah. I'm impressed he knows who he is.
Yeah, and when he turned around, Benson Boone was in. Turns out Benson Boone's a big newsman. Everybody has been there. Traffic was a nightmare. You got home late and your dinner plans are out the window when you hear the inevitable tiny voice saying, I'm hungry. Yeah, that's when dinner dread sets in. What are you going to make tonight? How can such a simple question be so hard to answer? Well, it's a good question.
It doesn't have to be, because a delicious, family-pleasing meal from Stouffer's is only a ding away. So if your dinner plans are derailed, don't worry. Just turn to a delicious solution from Stouffer's, a meal that will always leave everyone happy, especially you. Maybe some chicken enchiladas. Spaghetti with meat sauce is always a winner. Or how about some cheesy chicken and broccoli pasta bake? Yes, please. When the clock strikes dinner, think Stouffer's. Shop now for family favorites.
Okay, so have you ever noticed how we hold back our smiles in awkward situations? Okay, but here's the thing. Sometimes, sometimes a smile can change everything. And Colgate is here to give you the confidence to smile first. Okay, so the other day I walked into a meeting and I just felt like the person I was meeting with was just sizing me up, just staring at me. Super awkward. But I remembered. Super awkward.
smile first. So I did just a quick confident smile. And guess what? They smiled back. Colgate believes a smile can break down walls. And it's true because instantly the whole vibe just changed. Or like last week, I'm at a coffee shop. There's a long line and the barista's flustered.
I smiled first. A, hey, you got this kind of smile. And they smiled back. And the guy behind me even cracked a joke. All because of a simple smile. Smiling first might feel like a bold move, but it helps you put the best version of yourself out there. Colgate helps you show the world your confident smile. My
♪♪
Anyway, it's awesome. Order now at Shipt.com slash 360. Terms apply. This summer, Disney Plus is going retro for real with all of your Disney Plus and Hulu throwback faves. An endless rewind on Disney Plus with The Princess Diaries, The Lizzie McGuire Movie, and Freaky Friday. Could you, like, chill for a sec? Then with Hulu, throw it back with Gilmore Girls' One Tree Hill and Full House. You good?
All these and more now totally streaming with Hulu on Disney+. Bundle subscription required. 18+. Select Hulu content on Disney+. Additional content on Hulu app. Terms apply. New Girl fan. Big New Girl fan. Yeah, and was like, oh my God, he asked us for a photo. No, he did not. Yeah, he asked us for a photo. We took a photo. We started following each other on social media. And yesterday, him and I were DMing that I was coming to the show.
And, yeah, he was just like, met up after the show, hung out at the event. Yeah, I was like, and what's so cool about it was that that day I was playing a song that he had just released. And I was like, my God, this song is great. This man is on fire. Like, this new song is going to be on some Adele ballad shit, a song about his mother. And I was like, oh, my God, this is great. And then he performed it.
that same day, like later that same night. I was like, God, what is my life, man? What is my life? Benson Boone performed like your new favorite song. Yeah, such a cool kid. And you guys are like in each other's DMs. Benson, come on the podcast. Come here. You love New Girl so much. I challenge you. Come here. We'll do a New Girl quiz for Benson. Let's see how many you get right. And if you win, you sing. And if you lose, you sing. All right.
I remember I posted, I posted, who was it? Rick Glassman. I posted a video of him performing yesterday. Rick was like, how many backflips did he do? Yeah. A lot. I saw it at Coachella. He was wild. The dude is insane, man. I feel like Benson Boone would be able to channel a better gay Nick than gay Nick did. Well, Benson be showing his titties a lot. Can I say that?
He always got his shirt. He always got his manners. I don't know. We're about to have a whole scene talking about mine. So I guess we could talk about Benson's. He's always showing off his Harold and Kumar. His Harold and Kumar. I feel like if Benson's a real New Girl fan, he will not mind this. Benson, we love you. Please come on our show. Okay, so we're back. Yes. And this is the part. Oh my God, this part. Okay, I was by myself during the rewatch and I cackled in a way where I was like, someone's going to call the police because there's no way she's alone. When...
When Max picks up the little clementine oranges and the girl's just over here, then Damon tries to pivot about what he was talking about, which Schmidt doesn't hear. And then the girls think it's about you and Damon. Yes.
The most off sides thing that I feel like that Max Greenfield has had to say on this show in the longest time about you two, which is about the oranges, which is about the breasts. It's so complicated. And then the scene ends with you two bouncing. Bouncing. I swear I nearly passed away. Bounce, bounce, bounce. Yeah.
I mean, him comparing them by color. He's like one slightly brown. It's like, you didn't pay attention, but one slightly browner than the other. And D'Addario's face, right? Because he's just like, her jaw is literally on the ground. Because I'm sure even, look, because as an actress, you still have to choose your reactions and play it as if he's talking about these two men. Yeah.
Yes. It is a crazy than how do you choose your reactions because you feel so humanly uncomfortable with what is actually happening. Oh God. Oh my gosh. But yeah, this is right. This is the right. This is right at that moment where they get kicked out. Yeah.
But the girls kick Winston in close to the end. I did skip over some of the funniest stuff in the entire world, which is that Coach and Winston come up with the thing that they're leaving for 44 weeks to sell socks. Absolutely insane. And that Schmidt's entry line is, I just cried on my penis while I was peeing. Also, one of my favorite scenes. That is going to go into like my top 10 all time favorite scenes. I could tell you that, that as a man, I could tell you that happens more often than you. You cry on your penis?
Well, people don't, well, because sometimes it's just there and it's in the way and you don't know where your tears are going to go because some people are projectile criers and you don't know, you don't know where, where it's going to like, you know, come, you know, it cascades down and rolls, it rips, it bounces. Sometimes my text is so tight. I just feel like if you're crying while you're peeing, maybe just sit down, maybe just do a sit down pee if you're just, if you're, if you're that distraught. Who says you gotta, who says you gotta be peeing while you're crying on your penis?
You could be on a nude nature jog and you could see a beautiful, beautiful sunset or a beautiful flower or a hummingbird mating. Please can someone animate Winston on a nude nature jog crying? Onto his own penis. No, why? Why does my brain work like that? When you say something, I see it and I don't want to see that. In animation form?
You're going to see it. Hannah, you're going to see this often in an animation form. Somebody out there will make this. Somebody with good AI skills. That's where he was crying. Well, okay. So then Max gets back from his nude nature jog. Cries on his penis. Everything goes left with the 44 weeks and the socks and the bouncing. And so the girls wisely.
these men out of the apartment. Yes, I think that's important. I think that's very much so appropriate. And everything then goes sideways for everybody because the next morning Jess wakes up next to Ian and then classic Nick Miller could not be a good wingman to the end. I mean, you know, but to be fair, OK, so what happens is, you know, he knocks on the door and he lets her know that he's screwed up because he's hooked up with a woman and she's there. Yeah. But to me, I'm like,
This is an easily fixed, fixable problem. But again, we're in TV world. That's right. There's no issue there. He was in his own private room with a woman. Never put her clothes on and stay in the room or go home. But the problem is, I think, is what he has learned is this woman won't leave.
Yeah, we figure that out later. Yeah, I think he's kind of clocked that, you know, it seems like he had a great way of getting all these women out quickly, and this woman is like, not. And so that's why he's like, I've messed up. Or you know what I like to do? You know what I like to do? What? To get people to leave. Hey, let's go get a coffee. Or you know what? Stay in the room with her. Just stay in the room. Round two. What do you need to do? No, you can't keep doing round two. Because then I don't...
You're like, I need breakfast. I don't care that much. Yeah, I got to refuel, refuel, retool. I need eggs. Stay in the room. But what if she got to go drop a deuce? This is why he's like, so he comes out and he's like, I'm just going to be transferred. Here's the thing. I don't know why this would feel shocking.
Like, why can't he just be bi? Why can't it be like he obviously was with Jess and now he's dating men. Can't he just be like, oh, I'm just because no, because that's even that's even that's even worse for his case now because everybody's on the table. Yeah. He's like now it's like, oh, I don't I didn't turn myself off from women.
Like, I still date women. This is true. So she's like, wait, what? So now Ian doesn't know whether or not, if that's the case, Ian doesn't know whether or not he's, you know, fully engaged with men because he could just today or tomorrow. And it's true. He did present it like gay Nick. He didn't say bi Nick or, you know, curious or fluid Nick. Yeah. You're right. Okay. So my idea wouldn't work. Not gay, but. I'm trying.
Okay, where were you at? Okay, so then Jess is like, you know what? I'm going to take care of it because I'm just going to go full crazy ex on her. And trust me, she's going to run screaming and she goes in. But the girl kind of out crazies her and is just like, no, I don't care. Like the last guy I dated was 80 years old and I just prayed he didn't die every day. So I'm like good with whatever this situation is, which is amazing.
We've all been there. I used to date an 80-year-old woman and I had the same thoughts. You know what I mean? Just stick around for a while. Just stay here. I love you. Yeah, she's loving. All right. So Coach tries to have Winnie's back because he's like tired of watching these women manipulate his friend Winston. And he's kind of right. So he goes in. He apologizes for trying to manipulate them and then says, but also you're not off the hook because y'all
have been doing the same kind of thing to Winnie. That's right. You know, you've been manipulating him for months, thinking that, you know, using your sex to get him to do stuff. And they say that they haven't been using sex to get Winston to do stuff. And Winston is a little bit, he's a little, you know, hurt by that. He's like, oh, you haven't? That's what I thought you guys were doing. I thought I was about to get in there. And then they rock, paper, scissors.
Well, coach is like, listen, he's done. He's not going to help you anymore. And they still need their floors done and their shelf done. And then they had this choice. This, you know, I don't know how I feel about this moment. You know, just because we're in the future and there's different things to think about. But I'm like, did he just say, I'll fix your floors for some squish? Like, basically, is that what's happening? It's so crazy.
Basically, it's like they can't afford. First of all, they live in a very expensive apartment. Very expensive apartment. And you need to tell me. Their apartment is exactly the same as our apartment. Yeah. And we have a lot of people living in there paying rent. That's right. And it's just them two. So they clearly have the money. You know what I mean? To just have someone. First of all, why are you redoing the floors in a rental? That's just kind of. Yeah.
All right. But hanging shelves. I just thought that was a really interesting idea that they would go, okay, well, I'll sleep with you. The way she was like, it's me. I was like, oh my God.
What? But then they do a turn, which is nice just for everybody's dignity. She's like, I'm kind of into it. All right, let's make it cute. Let's go have some fun. And when he's like, good enough for me. Bring a pencil and a hard hat.
It runs down the hall. Feels slightly problematic to sit there and blackmail the women and the women are kind of like doing their own version of blackmail. It feels very strange. Well, then it's mutual at that point. That's right. If both parties are agreeing that we're manipulating each other to get stuff that we want...
I know.
is that deep down you know that Winnie is not just trying to get some squish deep down he wants to be in a relationship he wants to be loved he's actually trying to win like true favor right he's trying to sit there play the long game to be in a relationship and to do this thing and that's what you believe as like an audience member and so you're kind of just like oh well maybe this will like she'll see how great Winnie is and then they'll be together for a while it's
That's why it doesn't feel gross. Where on the surface, it should feel gross. It should feel disgusting. It should feel disgusting. It should feel disgusting. You know? Because if that was the case, if that was the case, I could tell you I would have become a carpenter a long time ago. It's worked out for a lot of people. Jesus was a carpenter. Ian, then this thing. The scene between Ian and Nick Miller.
And then the end, you know, it's coming. That's the greatest thing because I had forgotten it. And I'm just sitting there being like, they better have Schmidt walk in and just be Schmidt. And it's going to sit there and validate Nick's whole story just by him being Schmidt. Yes. It's beautiful because he's totally in the weeds. He's covered in sweat.
The lies are like unraveling and getting weird. And Schmidt saves him. Oh, my God. It was such a funny moment. It was the, to me, that's like the perfect, that was the perfect scene in this episode. Yeah. When everything comes to a head and it plays out perfectly. And it didn't feel like a stretch. No, I'm not talking park. I was safe. Yeah. I was safe. I was safe.
It was perfectly written. It's the same as the Clementines and the walk away and the comeback and then one's browner than the other. They did a perfect thing in the writing where everybody's going along with it, but the audience knows how ridiculous we're talking about different things, fully different. They did it twice in the same episode.
Exactly. Back to back. Yeah. Yeah. But I thought it was great. That was a very, very good at the end when he's like he's Nick is looking at Ian almost as if we almost got him. We almost got him. Here's the here's the cherry on top. Schmidt, kiss me. Kiss me. And he does it. It obviously Schmidt is like, first of all, Schmidt's gay.
like this he loves this there's like i can't wait this has been my moment right waiting for it and he does it and and it works perfectly because his response to him is that your beard is at the perfect i know like he felt stubble all things that would that conversation would have happened the exact same way
minus some of Nick's lines, but Schmidt would have been the exact same way if Ian were not there. 100%. That's what I'm saying. Ian became invisible and somehow Schmidt saves Nick until, until the crazy lady will come at the end. Okay. So before we get to that, Schmidt barges into Cece's consultation.
Oh boy. This was a scene I was really worried about. And I remember talking a lot to the producers about it. Cause I'm like, how are we doing this reveal? Where's the shot? Where's this going to look like? And they were just like, literally it's the top of your shoulder and your face. It's a reaction. And then you are barely not even in frame. And it's going to be all of Schmidt just doing his, a big emotional goodbye. And the only thing that you're going to hear is him actually talking about how much he loves CC. And I was like,
okay. And they did, they did a great job of like selling this as a super funny story of how CC, they used all the reaction shots of CC showing that it was inappropriate, uncool, not okay. This is crazy. But then also realizing that, man, this guy loves, it could honestly, the way it was kind of shared to me, it's like, this could be about her toes, you know, like it's any part of her body. He just loves her so much. He loves everything about her to change a hair on her head.
And then they just chose the craziest thing, you know? Yeah. It was very weird. Shout out Harold and Kumar. We had Cal Penn on the show.
Yeah, didn't we?
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Yeah, we had him on when we did. I know he had. I know he had Cal Penn. He was a cat agent. Yeah, he was something like he was when we were doing the heist.
And I feel like we got locked away or something like that. He was, yeah. Yeah. Something. I want to say Harold and Kumar were both on the show. Were they? Joel, is that true? Did we have both Harold and Kumar? I'm almost positive. I could be wrong. Oh, yeah. He was in Jury Duty episode of New Girl that happens later. There we go. We had Harold and Kumar. You were right. That's right. In real life. We had John Cho and Cal Penn. Yes. Yes.
That is correct. That's hysterical that we've never even put that together. I bet you the fans have put that together. Harold and Kumar and then Harold and Kumar were on the show. Man, new girl. This happens when a show runs long enough. Weird things are definitely not intentional. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 100%. Happened.
I love that. I love the interesting moment where he's unless you just talked about this. I know you hinted on it a little bit, but when he's wearing the headphones and he's saying goodbye, I think I was like, yeah, it was such a funny moment because I can guarantee you that Max was actually probably saying things for sure. And.
And just but just being a little bit more Schmidt with his with his physicalities. But and I can I can also assure you that in the script it said it was probably just gestures that he was making to make it feel like he was saying stuff. And he decided he's actually going to say real things. For sure. They had a pack of alts for him to to sit there like just in case they all these things.
And then like shoot a basketball and two finger guns and get weird. Oh, yeah. He did play it though beautifully. That's the one thing about Max is he's got like such an incredible like dramatic range and he places it perfectly in a comedy show.
Which sells the heart of something because it's so absurd to be that serious about something so ridiculous. Oh, yeah. But you believe him. He's like crying. Yeah. Yeah. At the consultation. He's not supposed to be at. I would be too. Let me tell you something. If I go through with this reduction, I know some women that's going to knock down the doors of my doctor's office. You know. Give me the leftover bit.
Yeah. I just want a memento.
I'm going to plant it in my garden. Oh, my gosh. How could we make this weirder? Okay, so then they're in the bathroom. This is the end of the show. They're waiting for Winston in the shower. And then they realize that they're the weird-ass clowns that all of these people that they've been dating and sleeping with, they go home to their group of friends and talk about the weird experience they just had.
And they realize that, oh, it's us. Yeah. We're the weird ones. We're the weird ones. And then Winston walks into the bathroom. Right. Yeah. And then to reveal that it's actually Nick's one night stand. Right. He was in the shower. Peeing in the shower. Peeing in the shower. Which, you know, we can put a poll up right now and see, you know, who pees in the shower, who doesn't pee in the shower. But I'm guilty of it.
I feel like everybody pees in the shower. I think everybody's going to lie. Yeah, they're going to lie and say they don't. For sure. What's to say? It's going right down anyway. It's going down the drain. What's the worst? If your drain is clogged and you pee in the shower, then there's no point. Yeah, know your shower, I guess. Yeah, don't pee in... Well, first of all, just talk about this. Don't pee in somebody else's shower. If you got to pee, pee in your own shower. It's also weird because the shower is usually very close to a toilet.
Yeah. You could just pee and then get in the shower. Yeah, you can handle it that way. You can do whatever you want in your house in your shower. But it is weird to be like, I'm in somebody else's spot. But if you're showering there, you're probably pretty comfortable with that person. So, you know, what's a little pee? Wash down the drain. Famous last words. You know what the famous last words are? Is Schmidt comparing himself to being Harold and Kumar's Schindler?
wild ending to that sea storyline. He saved the boobs. He saved her boobs. He saved them. Your children will leave rocks on my graves. Their boobs. All right. That is one of the greatest, funniest, weirdest, should be problematic and somehow not, episodes of New Girl. And when we come back, we gonna... And we are...
Hannah, we're back. We're back. We haven't gone that long, but it still feels good to be back. Oh, my God. Babe. Yeah, babe. Would you, have you,
lived with an ex. And can people really ever make living with their ex work? No. Really? No. As in, no, I have never lived with an ex. Oh, okay. If it's over, you know me. If it's over, I go, see you later. Delete your number. We're done. We're gone. I wish you the best. I hope you have a really wonderful life, but we don't need to be like,
friends. Yeah. You have a very different situation, probably more mature than mine. And but I'm done. So because of that, I have never lived with an ex. That would be bonkers. So you you have you wait. So have you lived with someone broke and then broken up and then moved out? Was that was that the case? I always had my own place. OK, so you never lived with other than, you know, other than husband.
No, I've never lived in a place where they didn't give up their spot or I didn't give up their spot. That's right. Okay. And I remember a boyfriend bought a house for us. Oh. Bought a house and I did not give up my apartment because I was just like, yeah. Ungrateful. So we lived together. We always, when I was with somebody, I always lived with them full time, never touched my apartment. But when it was over, I was like...
Goodbye. The house was so cool. It was a cool house. Do you remember? I remember. I tried to buy it.
I tried to buy it. Wow. Good thing you didn't. Yeah. That's some weird mojo in that house. Oh, God. No, because of the people that sold it to him. That was a whole crazy story. I know. He came up. Crazy energy in that story. So, no. You've lived with an ex. I feel like, yes. You probably have like three exes living with you now because you're kind and generous. You let anybody stay with you. No, I did live with an ex, though, in the past. Yeah.
But it was a young situation, you know, someone that I dated when I was much younger and we dated kind of long distancey. And then she moved to California after we had already been broken up. And we lived together. The tricky part about that was that.
you know, we were, we were definitely rekindling. Sure. You know what I mean? It was like, it was almost like we started dating again in a way, but ultimately I moved out. Right. You know, got on a new girl and was like, you know, I got money now, dog. Help with this rent, So I, so I, so I moved out. And what's funny about it is that for years, her and then a couple other girls lived in this place and my name was still on the lease.
So every time I would go over there, I would act like it was my place. It's mine. It's mine. Okay. What's the best way to tell a friend they shouldn't go through with a cosmetic procedure they are contemplating doing? Can I just say something right now? Mind your business.
Are you saying if your friend wants to go through a cosmetic procedure, just let them do it? Whatever they want to do, let them do it. Unless they're asking you. If they're asking you, do you think, then tell your truth. But if someone is just like, I'm going to go get my nose done, mind your business. Well, what if, you know, you ever see those people? Like, here's the thing. Yeah, I'm okay with that too. Like, go. If you want to get work done or whatever, that's your body. I don't care. But it's when people take it too far that it becomes a concern because then it feels like it becomes a mental disorder.
Where it's like when people have this dysmorphia of what they look like and they go, okay, I'm going to check. They keep doing it. And they keep doing it. And before you know it, they end up looking like Catwoman. But if they're asking for help, are they saying like, hey, what do you think? Should I do it? I think that's a different thing to be like lovingly to be like, if you really are asking me, then this is what I'll share with you. But that's the question. That's the question. The question is, how do you tell them they shouldn't?
So if they are asking you, what do you say? I say, you know what I... If they said like, okay, tell me, what would you say? I show them pictures of like botched procedures. I go, so you could look like this. And I show them a picture of like, you know, Denzel Washington. And I go, or you could look like this. And then it's a picture of when Martin got beat up by that boxer in the episode of Martin and his face had the lumps all over it.
You look crazy. It's a picture of Martin that's going to talk the woman out of getting her. Well, it's going to be a woman. I don't even know what they're called. Men get work done all the time. I know they do. Here's what I will tell you. Here's what I'll tell you. Here's a flip on that question. Okay? Because I have never had anything done.
Okay. I've never done a Botox, a filler, a whatever, like nothing. I don't even go for like facials. I don't do anything at all. I wash my face. I wear makeup. That's what I'll do. But I've never done anything. And the amount of people who have told me I should. Oh, wow.
Your kids don't count. Your kids don't count. They don't know you. I'm telling you, no grown people have said to me, they're like, you know that thing right there? You could just, and it'll be better. Or your lips, they could be like this. And it's so funny to me. So like this question is about how do you tell someone not to go through with it? Like the freedom people have to suggest you should get some work done is, how do you stop that from happening? Right. I genuinely feel...
It's almost like a weird sickness for me where I'm just so curious to know what I'm going to look like.
Like, I like the idea. I feel really privileged to age, you know, like you have lost friends when they're younger or whatever. You realize that every day you get to be here. You're so lucky to be here. And I'm just curious to know what am I going to look like at 55, 65, 75? And if I alter anything in my face or put things in or out for me, I go, I just wonder what I would have looked like. And also, yeah.
to everybody that's doing all the things i think that's great whatever makes you feel great it makes me feel great to kind of go like oh this thing is happening today and for other people they do other things i think it's great that's why i'm saying mind your business don't tell me to get work done and i won't tell you not to get work done that's why you're so angry about
this i'm trying to make a deal i'm trying to make a deal with everybody oh man this is personal all right well personal never mind all the things i said this is a very personal episode about boobs and botox you guys all right i know it crying on penises anyway
I mean, listening to those LPs. Okay. Well, guys. What a goldmine today was. My goodness. Really got into it. 100%. Thank y'all for listening, as always. We really appreciate it. Please show us some love. Show us some love by clicking that notification bell. Hit that like. Make some comments. Share with your friends. Follow us on IG at The Mess Around Pod. And go ahead and get some of that merch. We don't have turtlenecks yet.
I'm like Hannah's rocking it right now, but we will. We will very, very soon. We have some great merch, you guys. You've got birthdays coming up or something and someone's a New Girl fan. Be like Benson Boone. Go get yourself some New Girl merch. We should send Benson some New Girl merch. Ooh. Ooh, Benson. Benson.
Merry Christmas. Well, he wears like sparkly blouses. We can sparkle it for him. Does he want some rhinestones on a mess around sweater? Oh, yeah. Slide into his DMs and say Hannah Simone wants to know if you want a rhinestone mess around sweater. Let me hit him right now. Hold on. Hannah wants to know. Let's see. I got it right there. Open. That's a nude. Who's that? Okay. Okay.
Yep. Oh, got it. Boom. He just said, all right, cool. Done. Locked. Be like Benson Boone. Get your sweater at TheMessAroundPod.com. Also, if you have any thoughts about what we just said, we said a lot today. If you have any thoughts about what we just said, email us at TheMessAroundPod at gmail.com. We address all those questions, thoughts, stories that you have to share on our loft meetings. So, yeah, let us know.
Yes, please do. We love you. And I hope you love us back, please. Bye. Bye. That was The Mess Around, an iHeartMedia production. Our executive producer is Joelle Monique. Our senior producer is Abu Zafar. Bay Wang provided engineering and editing services. Additional production from Daniel Goodman, Wendy Heisler, and Kyle Chevron. Our theme song was written and composed by Ronald Jukebox Jackson. Catch you next time. Bye.
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