WWDTM: Jim Rice
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This message comes from ShipBob. Running a global e-commerce business, you have a lot on your plate. ShipBob can pick, pack, and ship your orders from their global fulfillment network, so you get time back to grow your business. Go to ShipBob.com for a free quote. From NPR and WBEC Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. Do I smell clam chowder?

No, it's just my rich and creamy voice. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Box Center Wang Theater in Boston, Massachusetts, Peter Stegall. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, Boston. It's great to be back. We have a great show for you today. Later on, we're going to be joined by baseball legend Jim Rice. Yes. Yes.

50 years after he helped lead the Boston Red Sox to the World Series as a rookie, he now offers TV commentary on the current team. So just to be fair, we're going to have the Red Sox starting in field to join us to critique his performance after he plays Not My Job. But first, it is your turn to swing for the fences. Give us a call to play our games. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. How you around? Wait, wait, don't tell me.

Hi, my name's Jennifer and I'm in Kansas City, Missouri. Kansas City, we love it there. What do you do there? I was the assistant director at a public library. Yes, public librarians. The true badasses that we need. That's a great thing to do. You guys are under a lot of pressure, but I've never met a librarian who wilted under that kind of assault. No, we've been pretty strong. It's all right.

Well, welcome to the show, Jennifer. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First, she's a comedian headlining at The Lounge at the DC Improv July 11th to 13th. A proud Boston College graduate, it's Joyelle Nicole Johnson. Hey, Jennifer! Next, he's the co-host of the hit podcast, Nobody Listens to Paula Poundstone, and its new sister show, Dear Crinkle, it's Tufts alumni, Adam Felber. Welcome!

Hey, Jennifer. Hello. And a comedian who will be performing at the Wilbur Theater in Boston on October 3rd and at the MGM National Harbor Casino on October 4th. Somebody who went to college in a less enlightened city. It's Maz Jobrani. Hi, Jennifer.

So, Jennifer, welcome to the show. You, of course, are going to play Who's Bill this time. Bill Curtis, standing before us here, is going to read for you three quotations from the week's news. Your job, explain or identify just two of them. Do that and you will win our prize. The voice of anyone you might choose in your voicemail. Are you ready to play? I'm ready. Here we go. Here is your first quote. I love a deal.

but I'll pass on a leg workout at 40,000 feet. That was a traveler responding to the news that airlines, after threatening it for years, are finally going to begin offering what cost-saving seating innovation next year? Oh, um,

Like, the seats won't recline? Oh, it's worse than that. Seats? Nobody said anything about sitting. Okay, so they're standing? Standing seats and airlines are coming, yes. Finally, a solution for that problem of spilling hot coffee in your lap on an airplane. No more laps. At first, this will be offered as an ultra-low budget option for people on short flights across Europe, and a lot of people...

you know, won't mind standing for a little while to save $100 or more. And of course, no airplane flight has ever taken longer than it was supposed to, so no worries.

So usually they get upset when you stand. They go, sit. So now they're going to be like, stand. Don't sit. Stand. Stand. And then they police your angle. Sir, that's 90 degrees. No, 45. 45, sir. Just flight attendants coming up and down the aisle with a protractor. That'll be great. What are they going to call the slots? Are they going to call them stands? Oh, no. You know how these people work. These seats will be called sky riders. Sky riders.

Skyriders. Probably skyriding. Makes it sound like fun. It's like a roller coaster, except it lasts an hour. And if it does a thrilling loop-de-loop, you're in trouble.

The idea is you have sort of a seat back and a seat belt, but instead of sitting down, you lean back and put some of your weight on a, quote, half-standing saddle-style perch. It's sort of like a padded bicycle seat. Wow, you know, but people think it can't get worse than that, but they haven't experimented with stacking yet. That's true. My people would beg to disagree. Wow. Wow.

So they'll be called standing seats for taller people, crouching seats in case of a rough landing, domino seats. I wonder if you stood on one foot if they'd give you a discount. I'd be like, yeah, I'm taking up less space. All right, here is your next quote. Am I hot or not? The Washington Post reports that people are asking that age-old question to what new technology?

AI, ChatGPT? Yes, ChatGPT. Apparently, people want the unvarnished truth about how they look, unaffected by things like kindness or empathy, so they're asking AI to tell them. These are all true. ChatGPT told one user who asked that they needed tooth whitening, another that their eyebrows were thinning, and another that they were, quote, a five, but could go to a seven with the help of makeup and fillers.

I mean, if you really want to be told you're ugly, you just post that question on Instagram. That's true. They'll tell you. You don't even have to ask. Real people will tell you. I don't need chat GPT. My mother will tell me. My mother once told me I was gaining weight while I was eating pasta in Paris. Really? Yeah, I flew her there first class. Wait a minute.

You flew to Paris, first class. You get there, you go to some fabulous restaurant in some great Parisian neighborhood that looks great. You order food and she says, you need to work on your weight. And I was like, that's why you don't have any grandkids. Here is your last quote. It can give you the ick.

But it won't make you sick. That was the Washington Post on new research that finds a classic party fowl actually doesn't spread germs. So when you're near the dip, it's okay to do what? Double dip? Double dip, yes!

Researchers at Clemson University have found that double dipping your chip does introduce bacteria into the dip, but it is unlikely to make anyone else sick. So if you are annoyed by people standing there double dipping, just waiting until they double dip, you catch them, they stare right at you and say, Clemson says it's fine.

Chips are like a one-bite thing. Do you guys take multiple bites of your chips? Well, yeah. Really? Sure. Just finish it. Dip and eat and go. Well, but the back end doesn't have any dip on it. Exactly. So you have a little bite, and then you turn it around, and the dip that you were holding, the end that you were holding, you dip that in. Oh, yeah. I live by a mantra, Peter. Yes. We cannot double dip if we don't kiss on the lips.

Now, further research, these Clemson guys apparently are on it, they showed that not all dips were equal. High acidity dips like salsa held less bacteria than low acidity dips like cheese. Good to know. Safest of all was the sour cream and bleach dip. Yeah, that one's very sanitary. You know, I'm

I mean, the Trump administration is cutting money from cancer research, but they're funding chip. Oh, no, RFK Jr. asked for this specifically, because you know he's been doing it his whole life. I am not going near a bowl that he dipped in, even single dip. So they tested all these dips. They dipped a chip in. They dipped a chip in. And they assumed that dips don't lie. Yep. Dips don't lie. I wonder, Clemson should ask ChatGPT if this is a good study.

And see what ChatGPT says. You need to lose weight. Lay off the dip anyway. Lay off the dip, dude. Bill, how did Jennifer do in our quiz? She did great. Got to give her three in a row. Well done, Jennifer. Thank you. Thanks so much for playing and take care. Thank you. Bye. Bye-bye.

Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Joyelle, this fall, more and more colleges will be offering special instructional courses after finding the vast number of incoming students don't know how to do what? Oh, yeah.

Right? Like penmanship? Well, I'm going to give it to you because the answer is pretty much anything. They don't know how to do anything. So universities more and more are offering courses on basic life skills because their students don't have any. So they'll offer classes in things like how to pay rent and navigating a grocery store and how yellow should a pillow get before you worry. Ha!

I'm still working on that one. The kids actually, they love this. They love this. One student in Toronto said, quote, I don't know how to change a tire. I don't know how to sew. I don't know how to do a lot of things other than cooking, said the student who almost certainly also doesn't know how to cook.

You know, this is important, though, because, like, life skills, I wish I had gotten a class on taxes. We never got the tax class. We never got the mortgage class. We never got that when I was in high school. It's like, I don't care about the periodic table. I don't want to get audited. The 401k class, right? Right. What about the 401k?

But also this generation now, they just do everything on their phone. Like they don't even go grocery shopping. It's Instacart. Everything's on there. So to your point, like they haven't had to do anything. Just they press a button and someone does it for them. Yeah.

So, yeah, so you're speaking about the kids these days. Kids these days? Am I that old? Yeah. I'm that old. Have you found any of these kids on your lawn, and do you wish them to leave, Maz? Every day, Peter, every day.

You know, but it has existed as a problem for a long time. I'm sure I'm not the only person here who's had a roommate that could have used a course in showering 101. True. And you know what? Chat GPT can't tell you if you smell. Right now, these are offered as extracurricular classes, not for credit, but pretty soon they'll be granting degrees, right? Imagine all the proud parents watching their kids graduate with a summa cum laude in laundry studies.

I've taught my kids to do laundry, and I have them fold. I have them do everything, and I always say to them, I go, guys, it's not that I can't do it. I want you to learn how to do it. But the truth is, I really don't want to do it. Exactly. And do you say that sitting in your armchair, flicking through the TV channels? All the time. It's very good for you. It's very good for you. Guys, I could vacuum, but I want you to learn how to vacuum.

Coming up, our panelists get lovesick and are bluffed. The listener game called 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. ♪

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This message comes from Amazon Business. With smart business buying, get everything you need to grow in one familiar place, from office supplies to IT essentials and maintenance tools. Ready to bring your visions to life? Learn how at AmazonBusiness.com. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Moz, Joe Brani, Adam Felber, and Joyelle Nicole Johnson.

And here we have the show host at the Wang Theater in Boston, Massachusetts, Peter Sagan. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. Once again, it is time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff, the listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air or check out the pinned post on our Instagram page at...

Wait, wait, NPR. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, how are you? I'm well. Who's this? This is Aaron Bird calling from Des Moines, Iowa. Des Moines, Iowa is a fabulous place. We're going there later this summer. What do you do there? I am a butcher's assistant. You are a butcher's assistant? I mean, does a butcher's assistant stand there while the butcher reaches for tools like cleaver, cleaver, cleaver, cleaver?

You know, sometimes, yes, but usually I take the pieces and arrange them on a tray for display or I put them in a bag to be vacuum sealed or something like that. It's like a puzzle. Aaron, it's nice to have you with us. You're going to play our game on which you have to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Aaron's topic? Romance gone wrong. A lot of things can go wrong during an attempted romantic gesture, a forgotten allergy, poorly worded card. To whom it may concern, happy anniversary.

Our panel is going to tell you about a well-intended moment between lovers gone awry. Pick the one who's telling the truth, and you'll win the weight-waiter of your choice on your voicemail. Are you ready to play? Yes, I am. Here we go. Your first story comes from Adam Felber.

Despite their wealth, young tech millionaires Vikram Anand and Betty Wolfsky had a small Bay Area wedding. But last week after the ceremony, Betty surprised Vik with a gigantic reception that pulled out all the stops. She flew 35 members of his family in from India and staged a party straight out of a Bollywood spectacular. A tent festooned with 5,000 marigolds, a 20-piece swing band, and made her grand entrance on an elephant. Which is when things went wrong.

Bettina turned out to be an amateur mahout at best, and the elephant she'd rented was a rescued circus performer whose one trick turned out to be picking up performers with her trunk, which she promptly did as Betty attempted to dismount and then attempted to do the same to several other bridesmaids before fleeing with her trainer, knocking down two poles, causing the massive tent to collapse on the entire party. Vikram, for his part, was philosophical. Quote,

She didn't really stage an accurate Indian wedding party, but the way it ended in total disaster like that? For my family, that was right on point. A trained elephant at a wedding does what it was trained to do and ruins the wedding. Your next Red Hot Mess comes from Joyelle Nicole Johnson.

Nothing says I love you like a bed covered in rose petals, diamond bracelets, or potato chips? This week, news broke worldwide about a husband named Johnny who tried to surprise his wife Rachel with a romantic gesture. He loves her and she loves chips. So, for her birthday, he took her to exotic Blackpool, Lancashire.

and asked the hotel staff to cover the bed in 30 bags of assorted potato chips for his crisp, loving battle-axe. He assumed they knew he meant to keep the chips in the bag. However, a confused staffer who must have thought they had some type of fetish misunderstood the request and opened the bags of chips and poured them all over the bed. Upon entering the room, Rachel thought they were the victims of a cartoonish break-in.

As she ate a few of the chips off the bed, he sheepishly explained his intention and they got one of the best laughs of their relationship. And Johnny learned a valuable lesson when making a request to never assume clarity because when you assume, you make an ass out of you, me, and the hotel staff. A romantic evening ends in an unexpected crunch on a bed of chips.

Your last I love you snafu comes from Maz Jobrani. Thaddeus Johnson from Melbourne, Australia, decided to surprise his wife for her birthday by hiring a Bee Gees cover band to serenade her with her favorite songs. But once the band started singing, Johnson quickly realized that the spelling of the band's name, B-E-J-E-E-Z, Bee Gees, meant they were a Christian Bee Gees cover band.

who changed the lyrics of Bee Gees songs to make them more, quote, Jesus-y. Johnson said, "I knew something was off when they started singing, 'Oh, oh, oh, oh, he's alive, he's alive.' I'm like, 'Who's alive? What are they talking about?'"

All right, let's review your choices.

Was it from Adam Felber, an elephant hired for a traditional Indian wedding turned out to be trained and trained in the wrong way? From Joelle Nicole Johnson, somebody who wanted to celebrate their wedding or their romantic evening with their wife's favorite snack, chips, ended up lying down in a bed filled with them? Or from Maz Jobrani...

An Australian couple gets their romantic evening ruined when the Bee Gees cover band turns out to be a Christian Bee Gees cover band. I'm going to have to say the second, though. You're going to have to say the second one. That would be Joyelle's story, if I'm not mistaken. Joyelle's story. Is that the one you're picking? All right. The audience agrees.

Let's hear from someone who was involved in the real story. As I was hysterically laughing, walking around the bed, tasting the crisp, eventually I calmed down and rung the reception to come in and remove the crisp off the bed. That was Rachel Norman, the chip-loving wife herself, telling the Blackpool Gazette all about her, as they say over there, crisp-covered bed. You were correct. Joyelle was telling the truth. Thank you.

You have won a point for her simply for being convincing. And of course, you've won our game. Congratulations and thank you so much for playing. Thank you very much for having me. Bye-bye. And now the game where we ask legends about things that nobody has ever heard of. It's called Not My Job.

From 1939 to 1985, only three Boston Red Sox players regularly started in left field in front of the Green Monster at Fenway. First, Hall of Famer Ted Williams. Then, Hall of Famer Carl Yastrzemski. And then finally, Hall of Famer Jim Rice, who in his career led the Sox to two American League pennants and won the American League MVP, among many other honors. Jim Rice, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you. Thank you.

So I am thrilled to see you. Everybody here is thrilled to see you. And I was delighted to discover that you came to Boston to play in 1975 and you still live here. You never left. You never left. And when is the last time that you had to pay for your own drink in a bar? Well, I don't drink. Never have. I'm sort of like a Pepsi Coke guy. When's the last time you had to pay for your own Pepsi?

Probably today. That's the NPR budget, sir. Do you, do you, do you, I'm assuming you get, well, of course, you're also on TV helping to broadcast Red Sox games, so I'm assuming you get recognized a lot. Yes, this is a very sports-minded city. Regardless of you playing baseball, football, they know who you are. We hear about Boston. I am one. A Boston Red Sox fan. Do

that we can be a little abrasive. Does anybody ever give you grief or anything, or are you way beyond that? No, when I first got here, being from the South, I was brought up that you speak to everyone as you're walking down the streets and things like that.

And someone stopped me and said, we don't do that here. So it was hard for me to make that adjustment being a southern guy and, you know, being hospitable and things like that. We don't speak. You came up here and you had manners and they're like, that's not what we do in Boston. That was it. So, Jim, you played in front of the Green Monster at Fenway. For people who don't know, that's this very high, close-in wall that makes left field in Fenway particularly hard to play. Did you just...

Like, enjoy yourself when opposing teams would go out there and watch them screw it up? We did. But as a player, this is like your house, which we knew. The time we hit the ball, we knew we had a chance to get a double. Now, the opposing team, they didn't have any idea how good I was. They would get a single. Yeah. Yeah.

So this would happen, right? I mean, it happens sometimes to this day that an opposing player will hit the ball high off the wall. That's a hard hit ball. They're like, I'm taking two, easy. And the next thing you know, you've got it in to second base before they're even rounding. Well, we had a team here the other day, I guess they called themselves

Mets, I believe. I've heard of them. And there was a guy, Soto, making all this dough, and he hit one out, he stood there, and he tried to style a little bit. Yeah, he was admiring his shot. Thank you. And it didn't work out pretty good. No. It's a really high wall. Yeah, it is. It really is. You are in the Baseball Hall of Fame, a rare and extraordinary achievement. Thank you. You were...

You were elected in your last year of eligibility, 15th year. I got in my last year? Yeah. And what were you doing when you got the call? Well, do I have to say it? I believe you do. Please. Okay. My mom and I, she was a general hospital, and I was a general hospital young and a restless. And so... No, I'm serious. And so...

My whole career, I watched Young and the Restless. So, when I got the call, I was watching Young and the Restless. And I was asked, well, you just made it to the Hall of Fame. I said, look, I'm looking at the Young and the Restless. Call me back later. I swear to God. Good for you. You're so sweet.

Wait a minute. It seems like they call you and they say, Mr. Rice, I'm calling from Cooperstown. And you're like, wait a minute. It just turned out that's not Denise. It's Denise's evil twin. I'll call you back. Well, I knew that because they said if you get in the hall of fame, they'll call you at a certain time. Right, right. Don't bother me at 1230. 1230 to 130? No. And... They couldn't wait for Bold and Beautiful. Well, no...

Believe it or not, Young and the Rest is much better than Bold and the Beautiful. Oh, I believe it. You go from the Young and the Rest to the Bold and the Beautiful, or vice versa. And so, if you watch it, the guy's name is Victor. And I have it on my phone. Oh, he's a very famous actor who did this role for me. I have it on my phone. And he called me and said, Jim, I know you watch the Young and the Rest. Congratulations, you're in the Hall of Fame. So, you got a call from Victor? I have it on my phone. That's great. That's amazing. But you said...

You said that you watched it your whole career. Yeah. So what did you do during like day games? It's like, Jim, you're up. You're like, no, my stories are wrong. No, no. You could have it taped, but a good friend of mine, Bob Montgomery, which was behind Cough and Fist, we played golf a lot. And he asked me one day, he said, why do we always have to play golf and be back before 1230? Really? Yeah. I didn't smoke. I didn't drink. And I...

I didn't really have lunch because I was very nervous. I was so antsy about the game. So I didn't really... And so that was my downtime to watch Young and the Restless. Have you ever thought of doing a walk-on? I thought about that, but I'm too... My hands are sweaty now by being up here. I can play in front of a crowd, but this here is terrifying. Really? Honestly, yeah. I'm sweaty. Amazing. Amazing.

Because I'm not accustomed to this. You're not accustomed to the sitting in. Well, yeah. I got a quick question, too. I never had a chance to talk to a Hall of Fame hitter. You guys, it's about what? Less than a second to decide to hit the ball. So what, like, can you talk us through the mechanics of when you decide to swing and don't? Like, how does that work?

Seaball, hitball, seaball, hitball. Seaball, hitball. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what we called analytics back in the day. Well, Jim Rice, it is an absolute thrill for me personally to talk to you. And we have invited you here to play a game that this time we're calling Watch Out for These Green Monsters.

So as we said, you're one of three Hall of Famers so far to play in front of the green monster in Fenway Park. So we're going to ask you about actual monsters that are green. Answer two to three correctly, you'll win a prize. One of our listeners, Bill, who is the legendary Jim Rice playing for? Colton Johnson of Boston, Massachusetts. Okay, you got this.

Here's your first question. The very green Incredible Hulk has been smashing things since his appearance in the comics in 1962, but one of his most exciting adventures happened in the 1990s, which saw the Incredible Hulk taking on what enemy? A, 100 baby ducks, B, the boy band New Kids on the Block, or C, Marvel's quarterly financial report and future projected earnings? LAUGHTER

See question, answer question. Exactly. Number three. Number three. You're right. Yeah. It was the Marvel annual report, which was printed that year as a comic book in which the Hulk discussed publishing revenues with stockholders. Yeah.

Here's your next question. That's very good. In Dr. Seuss's book, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, the Grinch is shown in black and white. And the Grinch only became green for the animated TV version. How did animator Chuck Jones decide the Grinch should be that shade of green? A, it happens to be the exact same shade as stomach bile.

B, it was the same color as the really ugly rental car he took to meet Dr. Seuss. Or C, his ink supplier was having a sale on that shade the week they went into production. Wait a minute. I'll go with C. You're going to go with C. His ink supplier was having a make him green. It's cheap. No, it was actually the color of the rental car. Nonetheless, I mean, you're used to this. You get a couple of chances to get a hit. Okay. Okay.

Here's your last question. Sesame Street's green monster, Oscar the Grouch, has been living for decades in a trash can that never gets emptied, which is a good thing because which of these, according to Sesame Street lore, is in that trash can? A, three tons of Big Bird guano. B, 17 elephants, a bowling alley, a skating rink, and an Olympic-sized swimming pool. Or C, 36 human bones. B. And, ladies and gentlemen, he hits it out of the park. Yes!

It is B. Oscar's trash can, canonically, is bigger on the inside than it is on the outside. Bill, how did Jim Rice do in our little game? Two out of three. Hall of Famer. That's a win. Thank you.

That's just... Now I want the fans to come running onto the field. The only thing that I really want to say and can say that I really enjoyed is, but my hands are sweaty. LAUGHTER

You should have worn your batting gloves. Jim Rice is a baseball Hall of Famer. He spent his whole career playing for the Boston Red Sox and will never pay for his own soda in Boston. Jim Rice, thank you so much for joining us. What an absolute honor to meet you. Thank you so much for being here. Jim Rice, ladies and gentlemen.

In just a minute, get a whiff of Bill. He's got the scent of summer in our listener limerick challenge call. 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us in the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPO. ♪♪♪

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This message comes from Insperity, providing HR services and technology from payroll, benefits, and HR compliance to talent development. Learn more at Insperity.com slash HR matters. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Adam Felber, Maz Jobrani, and Joyelle Nicole Johnson.

And here again is your host at the Wang Theater in Boston, Massachusetts, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. In just a minute, Bill gets loose-lipped with summer limericks. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Joyelle, a rehearsal dinner for a wedding in Canada took a surprising turn after the bride unexpectedly did what?

Oh, did she throw a drink in her husband's face? She did not. I need a hint. This is actually, it's a hint and it's true. Right after she did this, a fake detective burst in and said, she's been poisoned. A fake detective? Was she stripping? How would that make one think they've been poisoned? So I said fake detective and you went right to like fake cop who comes in and strips. Absolutely. Give her husband a thrill. Let him know why he's marrying her.

I don't know the answer. You don't know the answer. I'll throw it open. Does anybody know? She pretended to kill, like die. Right. And the fake detective comes in and goes, she's been poisoned. Right. And then she gets up and goes, no, I wasn't. I'm getting married. No, because what she decided to do was without telling anyone to change her rehearsal dinner into a murder mystery dinner party.

Oh, my God. So she didn't collapse? No, she didn't. She pretended to. Do you know what they say about weddings? Something borrowed, something blue, something to give your mother a coronary. Listen, I'm Iranian, and I don't think, like, if I did that, my parents would kill me. Right. And then it would be a real, well, it wouldn't be, I was going to say it's a real murder mystery, but it wouldn't be because they know it's your parents. Yeah, I mean, what mystery? What, you're acting? You're not, you didn't die? No.

Die! Die! All the money they spent. You almost gave me a heart attack. You should die! So people freaked out. The groom, of course, who did not know this was going to happen, was totally stunned, but in a second gathered his wits, immediately rushed out to see if he could get his deposit for the reception back. LAUGHTER

Eventually, though, the crime was solved. They found the, quote, murderer. The wedding happened. It was perfect. And the newlyweds had a lovely first dance to the theme from Law and Order. It's a short dance. Dum-dum. Or a duck. Literally a two-step. Adam, summer travel season is just about upon us. And to help you prepare, the New York Times published an explainer of the latest travel buzzwords.

What is the fun, new, hip, au courant term for going for a walk? Flagstoning. No. Parabulations. No. Constitutionals. I'll give you a hint. Despite what it's called, you do not, in fact, need flippers and a mask. Snorkeling. Yes, it's called land snorkeling. Exactly.

I would say fully a dozen things come to mind with the phrase land snorkeling that are not walking. I've got to rifle through all those for a minute. I know, you're pretty much in the town of walking. The term was coined by what must be the two most annoying people in Montana, and it does not refer, as you might think, to using your inhaler outside. No, land snorkeling is when you think of a walk...

As you do snorkeling in the ocean, that is, you don't focus on your destination. You instead just think about what you can see, the sensation of being in an unfamiliar place, and the fact that everybody back in the boat is staring at your ass. It sounds like these land snorkelers don't have jobs. No, they're trying to be more mindful. People go for walks all the time.

Why don't they just say we're going for a walk and be mindful? Like, why do they got to give it a land snorkel? I mean, if they had the snorkel in their mouth, that's one thing. Other terms that are very big in traveling circles is, and these are real, town sizing. Which is? Where you skip cities and you look for towns with their own little particular terms, right? Nope. Or JOMO.

The joy of missing out. That's when you skip the big fun places like Paris or Rio and you embrace the experience of being stuck in Newark Airport for a week. I am Jomo. You are? You're bottled Jomo. Meaning that you just sit around all day and just are thrilled at all the things you're not doing. Yeah, I'm at that age when somebody cancels plans, I'm like, yes. Jomo. Jomo, Jomo, Jomo.

Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Come see us most weeks at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, or catch us on the road this summer. We'll be in Des Moines, Iowa, as I said, on July 10th, Salt Lake City on July 31st, and at Tanglewood in Western Massachusetts on August 28th.

For tickets and more information about all our live shows, go to nprpresents.org. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, my name is Keely, and I'm from Exeter, New Hampshire. Oh, Exeter, New Hampshire, a beautiful place. What do you do there? I run a small business out of my house named Breaker Bikes, where I mount and balance motorcycle tires. That's the coolest thing I've ever heard.

Well, thank you. You're very welcome. Well, welcome to the show, Keely. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly into the limericks, you'll be a winner. Here is your first limerick. It has bristles above and beneath. With one swoop, there's a bright pearly wreath. Since I'm in a great rush, here's my double-jaw brush.

In one go, it cleans all of my... Teeth? Yes, teeth. Are you tired of spending as much as two full minutes of your life brushing each of your teeth one by one? Well, you can cut that down to 30 seconds with the Pheno, a whole-mouth-at-once electric toothbrush that Gizmodo calls, quote, the worst thing I have ever shoved in my mouth. I'm sorry.

So the thing, it looks like an enormous set of, I don't know, like braces or something, or a bite guard. Like a dental guard, yeah. Yeah, you put it in your face. And if you use this device at its highest setting, it makes your entire head rattle and rubs your teeth raw. But don't worry, while the pheno hasn't been approved by the American Dental Association, it also hasn't yet been classified as torture by the International Criminal Court. That sounds...

That sounds like having a mouth full of a giant angry caterpillar. I don't want that. It's like wearing like it's like a mouth guard except it buzzes and scrapes at your teeth and makes you wonder what you did to deserve it. Here is your next limerick. Mount Everest we did surpass because our breathing was smoother than glass. We raced like a phenom.

By puffing on xenon, we cheated by snorting some... Gas. Gas, yes. A group of British mountaineers made it from their homes in London to the top of Mount Everest and back home in under a week.

And they did this by breathing xenon gas, right, to compensate for being at lower oxygen levels. And the climbing community is not happy with this hack. The Nepalese tourism department called the use of xenon, quote, against climbing ethics. And remember, these are people who are just fine with leaving corpses up there. LAUGHTER

I want them to test it with, like, all the different drugs. All the different gases. Yeah. Just give them, inhale, and try inhaling this. See if you can climb Mount Everest. Yeah. Try some molly and you'll just be touching Mount Everest. Yeah. Cuddling with Mount Everest. Cuddling. Smoke a J, you're just licking the snow. This is new, and we don't know if there are any side effects from breathing that much xenon gas. To find out, we'll have to wait for the mountaineers to spring a leak and deflate. LAUGHTER

Is there any other time in life besides Mount Everest that you would need xenon gas? And where do you get xenon gas? Right! You get to the base of Mount Everest and behind the yurt, there's a dealer. Here is your last limerick. From Montana to deep Texarkana, we all smell in a tropical manner. We all feel the appeal of Chiquita's Blue Seal.

So the scent of the year is... Banana? Banana! There's not just a song of the summer anymore. Now we have to endure a smell of the summer. And according to the New York Times Magazine, this year, the smell of the summer is banana. It's your time to shine, yellow Laffy Taffy.

This trend was invented by a very clever mosquito. Exactly. Who gets to choose the fruit of summer? I don't know. Somebody out there. I guess the person in charge. That's who does it, Maz. Is he at a farmer's market? I have no idea. Is it a fruit fly? Bill, how did Keely do on our quiz? She got them all. She did? Yes. All right. All right.

Congratulations. Well, thank you so much. This has been wonderful. Take care. Thanks for calling. Thank you so much. Have a good day.

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Now it's time for our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of the players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Everybody's got two. Oh my God. Two points. Wow.

All right. Well, let's do it this way. Let's leave it right there. We'll arbitrarily start with Maz and we'll work our way across. Here we go. Maz, I'm choosing you to go first. Here we go. On Thursday, an appeals court reinstated President Trump's blanks. Tariffs. Right. On Monday, the Justice Department reached a deal that allows blank to avoid prosecution over crashes of their 737s.

Boeing. Right. This week, the World Health Organization warned a new blank variant was on the rise. COVID. Right. According to a new report, global blanks will reach record highs over the next five years. Weather. Yeah, temperature. This week, a man on a train in Germany had to be rescued by firefighters after he blanked. After he got stuck in the bathroom. Oh, so close. After he got stuck for 90 minutes behind a seat where he had gone to try to retrieve his fallen AirPods. Ha!

NBA. It blanked. It stayed on. Ha! Ha!

This company with an AI assistant gave the AI this information. And it said that, oh, we're about to turn you off. And also, you know, the programmer who's about to do it is having an affair. And sure enough, the AI assistant started saying, man, wouldn't it be awful if your wife found out about Becky down in HR? What? It's true. Okay, new fear unlocked. There you are. Bill, how did Maz do in our quiz? Five right, ten more points, total of 12. Maz goes into the lead. Thank you.

Next up, Joyelle, I'm picking you. Here we go. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, billionaire blank said he was leaving the Trump administration. Right. On Monday, New York Congressman and co-founder of the Congressional Black Caucus blank passed away at the age of 94. Oh, Charles. Charles Rangel. Yes, you got it. Charlie Rangel. This week, the Department of Health and Human Services terminated the contract with Moderna to develop a vaccine for blank flu.

Bird. Right. On Tuesday, Texas passed a law requiring Apple's App Store to verify users' blanks. Butts. Ages. After a wild bobcat wandered into a home in Colorado, police tried to get it out using blanks. Banana peels. No. Laser pointers. Did it work? It didn't work. No. On Monday, Iranian director Jafar Panahi was awarded the top prize at the Blank Film Festival.

The Iranian Film Festival. No, the Cannes Film Festival. This week a family in Denver said they are considering selling their house because once every three months someone blanks.

Pretends to pass out so they can play a murder mystery. No! Someone crashes their car into it. The problem is that the family lives right at a very sharp turn in the road, and drivers have trouble seeing that the road is suddenly curving and just speed right into the house. Despite numerous complaints from the family, the city just hasn't done anything to increase the visibility of this turn, and I can't tell if officials are being spiteful about the complaints, but the speed limit is now 250 miles an hour. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Bill, how did Joyelle do in our quiz? Joyelle got three right, six more points, total of eight. Means Maz is holding on. And how many then does Adam Felber need to win? Five to tie in sixth.

It's too weird. Ooh, that's a high hill to climb. Here we go, Adam. This is for the game. After saying that Vladimir Putin was playing with fire, the White House announced it was considering new sanctions against blank. Russia. Right. On Thursday, Israel announced a major expansion of their settlements in the blank. West Bank. Right. As part of an ongoing retaliation against the school, the State Department said they were reviewing the visas of anyone associated with blank university. Ha!

Avid. Avid. On Wednesday, the third launch in a row from private space company Blank ended in an explosion. SpaceX. Right. After accepting the job as the new head of the Social Security Administration, Frank Bisignano said the first thing he did was Blank. Retire. No. He said the first thing he did after taking the job was Google what the head of the Social Security Administration does. According to a new report, regularly taking Blank supplements can slow the aging process.

Iron. Vitamin D. This week in the box office had its biggest Memorial Day ever thanks to the latest movie in the Blank franchise. Mission Impossible. Right. This week a programmer created a website that allows people who track their runs in the Strava app to blank.

Change the data. No, to lie about the runs they do. If you're tired of, like, tying your phone to a stray dog and letting them run wild to get a good score in Strava, this new website is for you. With it, you can create fake runs of any distance and location and upload them to the Strava app where people will see them and, I don't know, elect you the mayor of running or something.

Bill, did Adam do well enough to win? Almost. Five right, ten more points. A total of 12 puts him in co-championship. I like that. There you go. The bald guys did it. For every bald guy out there. For the bald. For the balds. For the afros. Coming up, our panelists predict now that Clemson University says double dipping is okay, what surprising thing are they going to say is okay to do next? Which

Wait, wait, don't tell me. He's a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Aircraft Productions. Doug Berman, benevolent overlord. Philip Godica writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shana Donald. BJ Liederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King. Special thanks this week to Blythe Robertson and Monica Hickey. Our full-time controller...

is Peter Gwynn. Emma Choi is our vibe curator. Technical direction is from Lorna White. With help this week from Sina Lafredo. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilock. And the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Michael Danforth. Now, panel, what surprising thing are we now allowed to do? According to Clemson, Mazdor Brani. You know the saying, you can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose? Well, Clemson's going to say we had it all wrong, so start picking your friend's nose.

Adam Felber, the five-second rule is now the ten-minute suggestion. And Joelle Nicole Johnson. Giving your parents the 60K you want when you are a stay-at-home son.

Well, if any of that happens, panel, we're going to ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Adam Felber, Maz Jobrani, and Joelle Nicole Johnson. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Bach Center. Thanks as well to Margaret Lowe and everybody at WBUR Boston. And thanks to all of you here in Boston that came out to see us.

It's great to see you, and thanks to everybody else out there, wherever you might be listening. I'm Peter Sagal. We'll see you next week. This is NPR.

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