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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Alzo Slade filling in for Bill Curtis so I can finally tell Peter Sagal what to do. Here he is at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois. Start talking now, Peter.
Thank you, Alzo. And thank you, everybody. Thanks for being here with us. It is a good day. It's an exciting time. Later on, we're going to be talking to Nathan Lane, who is star of Stage and Screen, and now...
He's the star of the new sitcom Mid-Century Modern, which people are calling the Gay Golden Girls. So what does that make the Golden Girls? But first, before we get started, it is really nice to have Alzo Slade filling in for Bill this week. Alzo, I got to say, what made you want to leave the panel and take on the grave responsibilities of judge and scorekeeper?
Uh, it pays more. And I'm glad you believed that when we told you. And we are glad you listeners out there are ready to do your job, which is to call in and play our games. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, Peter. It's Allison Becker from Indianapolis, Indiana. Indianapolis, that beautiful place. What do you do there?
I actually administer a grant to provide solar opportunities to income-qualified individuals. That is very exciting. Thank you.
Solar opportunities, I mean, I assume you mean tanning, sunbathing. It might come to that after the inauguration. That's true, yes. All right, well, welcome to the show, Allison. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up is the host of the daily podcast, TBTL, and the public radio variety show, Live Wire, which will be live back at the Alberta Rose Theatre Thursday, May 15th in Portland, Oregon. It's Luke Burbank. Hey, Allison. Hello.
They're booing for rolling back the subsidies for solar power. Exactly. Next, it's a writer for Clean Slate, which is now on Amazon Prime. It's Shantira Jackson. Hi, Shantira. Hi. And a writer whose absolutely essential sub stack is Take Another Little Piece of My Heart Now. It's Roy Blunt Jr. Hi.
So, Allison, welcome to the show. Your job is going to be the first person ever to play who's Alzo this time. Alzo Slade, filling in for Bill, is going to read you three quotations from the week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you will win our prize, the voice of anyone you might choose from your voicemail. Are you ready to go? I'm ready. All right. Here is your first quote. This is the greatest thing to happen to Chicago since the Cubs won the World Series.
That was a Chicago woman talking to NPR on Thursday reacting to the news that who is from Chicago? The new Pope. The new Pope, ladies and gentlemen.
The Cubs won the World Series? Yeah. They did. Now, the Pope has not lived in Chicago for decades, but that does not matter to us. We are so thirsty. We will say you are a Chicagoan if you have a long layover at O'Hare. And is there any other kind? I know. I don't know.
I like it because I grew up Southern Baptist and I don't really know too much about the popes. But I will say that this feels like the Olympics is the only time where I'm like, go America, go. Really? Yeah. We're all patriots. We won something and I'll take the gold even if it's a chalice.
You're like whitewater canoeing? That's a sport? Okay. I was like, go America, go baby. Let's beat them in something. I know. It was so great when the smoke came out. It was white, then red, then blue. We knew. It was awesome. Yeah. And I need not tell everyone that we are incredibly proud here in Chicago that one of our own has gotten the big chair. And by that, I mean the big chair. One commenter on a news story here said,
This is true. He's like reading the news and he like said, oh my God, this guy's been to my house. And this is true. He was reported to be a Cubs fan. Everybody assumes we're Cubs fans. And his brother called the news to correct the record. He is in fact a White Sox fan, right? Yes. Imagine. You really need the Lord if you care about the White Sox. Exactly. Imagine suffering that much and still believing in God. Yeah.
Honestly, I think that's so funny that a White Sox fan became the Pope to try to help them. That's love for Chicago, baby. I'll become the Pope to try to get you a little bit of help. That will be an interesting data point for the White Sox, who have not been so great recently. Not good, no. To see if their fortunes improve now that they have a direct line. Exactly. The creator. We need that and a couple more pitchers. Yeah, right.
All right. Here is your next quote. It was from someone who was interviewed at an airport. I just procrastinated. I could have gotten it done. I just didn't. That was a traveler who did not have an important document you need to get on a plane as of Wednesday this week. What is it? The real ID. Real ID. Yes. Yes.
You now need a real ID to get through security at the airport. That is, of course, the extra secure federally mandated ID, which requires proof of residency. So now the TSA, you know, they'll just wave you through saying, oh, this guy can't be a terrorist. He provided an electricity bill from his house in Cleveland. Yeah.
So, remember, in case you're confused, you only need real ID to fly on a plane. If you're just going to a bar, you can continue to use fake ID. Yeah.
They've been telling me that for years at the airport. Mr. Burbank, you need a real ID. This does not count that you have a note from your mom, sir. I don't know if people remember this. This was announced in 2006 that they were going to do that. This is true, and they finally did it. Take that, Al-Qaeda. Yeah.
So they announced it in 2006. They finally instituted it this week. Just think, Bill Belichick's girlfriend has spent her whole life worrying this day would come. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER
I have a quote-unquote real ID, but I don't remember what I had to do differently to get that. It was just when I was renewing my driver's license, I think. What is elevating the security of these IDs over the ones that we all have? What it is is when you go get it at the DMV, the person, they get the meanest person to come out, and they look at you and they say, is this really you? That's what happened. No, the way it works is you have to bring all these documents proving that you have a social security number or this, that, the other thing. I think
- I think it's so rude because if I'm at the DMV, you should know that I'm taking things seriously.
Like nobody's just showing up to fool you Like I'm not going there unless I'm trying to never come back again Yeah, like they call you up and you're like I don't need anything I just like hanging out sitting here watching a tv bolted to the ceiling. That's my idea of a good time Yeah, have a mean lady take a picture of me that looks worse than anything i've ever experienced and then said keep it Yeah Catch up on your judge judy
Muted. All right, Allison, you're doing really well. You have one last quote. Here it is. It stings because I've been saving money, and this is my special moment. That was someone, a young woman, as you could tell from Alzo's impression. Thank you very much. I worked on that. I can see it. I can see it in my mind's eye. That was a young woman speaking to the Wall Street Journal about how tariffs just sent her flower and dress budget through the roof for her upcoming what?
Wedding. Yes, her wedding. Top of everything else, the Trump tariffs are making wedding planning really hard and, of course, really expensive. It's so hard for the couples who chose a we-bought-it-all-and-TAMU theme for their wedding. You know, was it like Tip O'Neill that said all politics is local? Meaning, you know, I don't care that much about this story, but based on my track record, talk to me when divorces get more expensive. Because that's really my sweet spot. Exactly.
President Trump defended the rising wedding costs, saying, come on, it's expensive, but it's something you'll do, what, four or five times in your lifetimes? I see you. You know why divorces are so expensive? Because they're worth it. There you go. We worked that out backstage. I've never been divorced, so I wasn't included. Yeah.
And you know it's going to affect everybody when you get an invitation for like you and a minus one. And here's the thing. The Wall Street Journal, which wrote about this, says that some people are so freaked out by the coming price rises and everything that they're stocking up for weddings they haven't even scheduled yet.
Just to make sure that when the time comes they have the stuff. Like, nothing gives you the ick like being on a first date and walking into their living room and finding 200 votive candles just waiting for the right guy. That is just a nice lady in her 20s. Also, how did Allison do in our quiz? She was amazing. 3, 4, 3. Brilliant. Well done, Allison. Thank you.
May you continue to have good luck going forward. Thank you so much for playing. Thank you. Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about the week's news. Luke, there is a new style trend. Some men on social media are trying to look more masculine by shaving off what? Oh, shaving. Is it eyebrows? Lower. Okay. Okay.
A little bit lower. Soul patch. Higher. Okay. We're narrowing in on it here. Mustache. Eyelashes. Yes. Eyelashes. Eyelashes. Eyelashes. Yes, men are shaving off their eyelashes. Oh, no. In a growing trend among those men who, yes, would in fact jump off a cliff if that's what their friends did, these men are going into barbershops and asking their barbers for an eyelash trim because eyelashes are now too feminine.
It's true. What's more manly than constantly crying because of all the dust in your eyes? Have you ever met a woman? I love a man with nice eyelashes. This is how you know men only talk to each other. Girls like eyelashes. We especially like them when they look like ours because we are egotistical. That's how you do butterfly kisses, right? Exactly. What's going to happen to the butterfly kiss industry? Everybody does.
all the men just gonna have pink eye you know it coming up our panelists give you a civics lesson in our bluff the listener game call 1-triple-8 wait wait to play we'll be back in a minute with more wait wait don't tell me from NPO
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Service fees apply for three orders in 14 days. Excludes restaurants. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Alzo Slade. We're playing this week with Shantira Jackson, Roy Blunt Jr., and Luke Burbank. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Alzo. Right now, it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you, everybody. Thank you.
Right now, it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff the Listener Game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air. Or you can always check out the pinned post on our Instagram page, at WaitWaitNPR. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
Hi, this is Femi Ayi from Nashua, New Hampshire. Hey, Femi, how are you? What do you do there in Nashua? I am an independent mortgage bank executive. I help people buy homes. Do you really? Yeah, I work the machinery that's behind the loan process to manufacture loans from raw effort into this horrible commodity that we all trade. Oh.
You're like a mortgage farmer. You're out there in the fields tilling the fields, growing mortgages. That's the thing. That's the thing that we do all day. Exactly, yes. A mortgage farmer. Well, Femi, it's nice to have you with us. You're going to play the game in which you have to tell truth from fiction. Also, what is this topic? Have I got a great deal for you on a 2016 Honda Civic. All right. Recently, somebody bought themselves a sweet ride, a 2016 Honda Civic Type R. They did great.
All the usual due diligence, they kicked the tires, checked the Carfax, made sure it hadn't said anything racist on Twitter.
But nonetheless, the buyer of this car ended up getting quite a surprise. Our panelists are going to tell you about it, pick the real story, and you will win the weight-waiter of your choice on your voicemail. Are you ready to play? I am. All right. Our first 2016 Civic comes from Roy Blunt Jr. When Bobby Higgins Sr. of Mound, Alabama, saw that 2016 Honda Civic Type R in the lot, it spoke to him.
He kicked the tires, he drove it around the block and bought it, cranked it up, turned some music on from the nostalgia station and oozed on out of there. Suddenly, he was not alone. On the dashboard, a mouse and then another mouse. Brendan, I mean Bobby, I'm sorry, Bobby Sr. jammed on the brakes.
And, well, now I've lost my breath. I forgot to change Brendan to Mike. That's a very real story. Bobby Sr. jammed on the brakes. Who wants a vermin-ridden car? Then the two little mice began to dance.
They were doing the bossa nova. Several more mouse couples emerged and joined the show. And more and more. Well, long story short, a local showman had in fact been searching for missing dancing mice. But here's what interested scientists.
There were more dancing mice in Bobby Sr.'s car than had been missing. The original dancing mice, apparently, had reproduced and taught the next generation to dance as a survival tactic, which worked. This Honda Civic came with, apparently, a multi-generation family of performing mice. Your next pre-owned parable comes from Shantira Jackson.
Jennifer Henry really lucked out when she saw the Craigslist posting for a used 2016 Honda Civic R hatchback. Sure, it was kind of beat up. The AC didn't work. You needed rope to close the trunk. And when she went over 65, it shook like a rocket ship at takeoff.
But it was hers and she loved it. One day when she got in the car, the AC was suddenly working. And sooner or later, a lot of things in the car started to improve. Instead of a shake, that baby started to sing. And not to be weird, but the wheels even seemed bigger.
Jennifer wasn't going to question the improvements. She just felt lucky until one evening when she saw on the news that a street racing ring had been broken up and there was a Honda Civic speeding away from the cops. As they announced the license plate number, she realized that little speed demon was her car. Turns out that she had unknowingly purchased a car that is prized among street racers for its aerodynamics and alignment.
and a local car racer had been stealing her car in the middle of the night, souping it up and racing it Fast and Furious style. Her car was eventually returned to her with just a few scratches, a new radiator, and a big pile of red light speeding tickets. Woman buys a car to find that it's a valuable racer, which she discovers by someone taking it and racing it every night while making improvements. Your last story?
of a wowie about somebody's whip comes from Luke Burbank. February 28th was a crap day for Ewan Valentine of Solihull, England. He walked out of his house only to find that his beloved Honda Civic, a 2016 Type R custom racing model complete with rims and a spoiler, had been stolen.
I was gutted, he told the BBC this week, and I was determined to get it replaced before one day I have to get something that's a little more family-friendly. So that's exactly what Ewan did, jumping on the internet and managing to find a similar car for sale one town over. Valentine bought the car and was feeling good as he drove home until he started noticing things.
A candy wrapper on the floor that looked kind of familiar. A peg for a tent that was like a tent he had. Even the car's smell. But that couldn't be, right? The VIN numbers were different. Well, then he punched his address into the navigation and it was already pre-loaded. As was his parents' address, as were all of his saved addresses because this was his car.
A part of me felt triumphant, said Valentine, but then part of me felt stupid because I had just bought back my own car for 20,000 pounds.
So, somebody bought a Honda Civic and got quite a surprise. What was that surprise? Was it from Roy Blunt Jr. that the car was occupied by a multi-generational troop of dancing mice? From Shantira Jackson that the car was a racer and was being borrowed every night, improved and raced before being brought back home before daylight? Or from Luke Burbank that it was the very same car that had been stolen from the guy shortly before, but he didn't notice it until he was driving it home?
I'm hoping that it was Luke Burbank's story, because that sounds like it would have been a good Top Gear episode. Okay, your choice is Luke's story. Well, here is some news coverage of the real car. The man paid more than $20,000 to buy his own stolen car. That was Kimberly Hahn of ABC 10 News San Diego.
Talking about the man buying his own stolen car. Congratulations, Femi. You got it right. You earned a point for Luke. You've won our prize, the voice of your choice in your voicemail. Congratulations and well done. I am a winner. You are a winner in this and in all things. Thank you so much for playing and thanks for giving Luke a point. Great. Thank you very much. Take care. Gonna jump in my car. Gonna jump in my car. Till I'm off the radio.
And now the game we call Not My Job. Nathan Lane is a movie and TV star and an absolute Broadway legend. He was last on our show a few years ago to promote the first season of Only Murders in the Building. But he's now starring in a new sitcom, Mid-Century Modern, where he plays a gay man living with his two best friends. And thankfully, at least as of the end of the first season, none of them have been murdered.
Nathan Lane, welcome back to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you. Um...
Congratulations on the new show. I have been watching it and enjoying it immensely. It's on Hulu. Thank you. Thank you. Yes. This is not the first time you have starred in a TV show, though, but it may be the most successful. I mean, you know, in terms of a multi-camera show in front of a live audience, I've done a couple in the past that haven't been so successful. So this has been a great pleasure. Right. And so what happened? Did you just have poor luck in the past?
Well, I don't know. How much time do you have?
When I was a kid, I was cast in a show, a situation comedy starring Mickey Rooney and Dana Carvey called One of the Boys. Okay. And that was, I knew going into that, it was not going to last. And Dana still talks about it. He's still traumatized by Mickey Rooney. Oh.
as we all were. And then I did a show with the creators of Frasier, and I thought that would be a good idea. They had won the Emmy five years in a row, and
And they pitched me an idea I didn't like, and then I pitched them an idea they didn't like. And then they came up with this idea that we wound up doing, in which I was going to play a famous opera singer who lost his voice in a freak accident and had to leave the opera world. And he went to live with his mother and sister at their winery in the Napa Valley. And I...
By the time the premise was... You were finished explaining it, people had left the room. So that didn't go so well. So this is exciting. The show... Let's talk about mid-century modern. Okay. My understanding is that it was pitched to you. This was made by the creators of the classic and brilliant sitcom Will & Grace. And they came to you and they said...
It's a gay Golden Girls. Is that correct? Is that how they pitched it? Yes. And I thought, well, that's kind of redundant. But it was actually Ryan Murphy. I was working for Ryan Murphy doing this miniseries about the Menendez brothers. And he had read this script and he had never done a situation comedy before, a multi-camera situation comedy. And
But he thought the script was great and they had written it, I was told, with me in mind. And so I read it and I thought it was hilarious and that's how it all came to be. When you were on the show last time, you talked about some odd jobs you had. But we were looking over your resume and you are a Broadway legend. I don't know how many Tonys you've won. You just rule that street. But...
I found out that your... Three. I've won three. Three. You keep count. I don't keep count. One Tony for each panelist. Exactly. But I found out that your Broadway debut was very surprising to me. It was a show called Merlin...
No. No, it was not your Broadway debut. No. That's wrong. You actually get a point for that, Nathan. My Broadway debut was in 1982 at the Circle and Square Theater. I did a revival of the Noel Coward play, Present Laughter, directed by and starring George C. for Cuddles Scott. LAUGHTER
For those who remember George Seuss. I remember him well, but that, yeah. But then, but, so I'm sorry, that was not. But then you did Merlin with Doug Henning.
Doug Henning was this, for those who don't remember, he was a very famous magician in like the 70s who was sort of famous for his sort of, shall we say, hippie aura. Would that be accurate? Absolutely. Marty Short on SCTV used to do an impression of him. He had a severe overbite
And he did not, he was trying to bring magic back to the magic profession. And so he did not refer to what he did as tricks, but they were illusions. And he was a lovely man. And Doug was, I don't know if you've heard, but he was a triple threat. He couldn't sing, act, or... LAUGHTER
But he was a lovely guy. And, you know, the first rule of musical theater is don't do a show that's built around magic tricks. So, yeah, it did have a little bit of a run. But, yes, it was doomed from the start.
And yet here you are. And when I, I remember having to tell, I had to leave present laughter and I had to tell George C. Scott that I was leaving the show to do this musical. Um, cause he, so he knocked on my door and I opened it and he said to me, you're leaving me to do a magic show. Uh, this is going to be the outtakes for people that support public radio at a very high dollar. Uh,
I have mixed feelings about making you play. I'd just rather hear more stories. But you know the rules. If you come in the show, you play a game, Nathan. And this time, we've asked you here to play a game we're calling... Hey, stay in your lane, Nathan Lane. Mm-hmm.
So, yeah, your name being Nathan Lane, as we all know, we are going to ask you about staying in your lane and other driving-related matters. Answer two to three. Oh, you're kidding, because I, you know, I don't drive. Well, I wondered about that.
I wondered about that. This is the wrong game for me. It's like a Zen thing. An empty mind leads to success here. Here we go. Who is Nathan Lane playing for? David Young of Phoenix, Arizona. Finland is pretty serious about speeding tickets. When one guy was pulled over in 2023 for driving less than 20 miles an hour over the speed limit, what happened to him? A, the gas was drained from his car by police and he had to push it home.
B, he was fined more than $100,000. Or C, he was forced to stand on a nearby corner for a whole day and hold up a sign saying, I am sorry. I think the last one, he had to hold up a sign saying, I'm sorry. In Finnish, presumably. In Finnish, exactly. No, he was actually fined more than $100,000. $100,000.
You see, Finland has this system where they have a sliding scale for moving violation fines based on your income, and he was really rich. Wow. Yeah. You both have two more questions, and you have a lot of fans in this room, so I think you'll be okay. We get news accounts every week about people using dummies to drive in the carpool lane. Are you aware of this, Nathan? Perhaps you've seen it in California. Oh, sure. High occupancy vehicles. I only travel with dummies. Exactly. Okay.
And one such person who tried that got himself into even more trouble when he got pulled over and the highway patrolman came up to give him a ticket for driving in the carpool lane with a dummy. What did the man do to get himself in trouble? A, he claimed, that's not a dummy. That's where I hide all my drugs.
B leaned over to the dummy and said loudly enough for the cop to hear, don't worry, I got this. Or C just quickly swapped seats and claimed the dummy was driving. I say he leaned over and said, don't worry, I got this. You're right. You're right. All right. You have one more question. If you get this right, you win.
If you don't like driving, you can take one of those self-driving taxis that are now cruising around Los Angeles and San Francisco. But you should be aware they come with a bit of a risk. What is that risk? A, the taxis are programmed to find the shortest route to the destination, which has led to them driving through houses, up stairways, and down into sewers.
B, they periodically interface with your phone and take you to places from your incognito mode search history. Oh, no. Or C, the mobs of people who sometimes attack the cars and set them on fire. Okay. Well, I'm going to go with the arsonist in the audience. You're right. That's what's happening. So far, I should say, they haven't done it to any autonomous taxi with a passenger in it. But they have done it, and one of these days they might get carried away.
Also, how did Nathan Lane do on our quiz this time? He got enough points to win the game and an honorary driver's license. Well done. Nathan Lane, I cannot tell you what a thrill it is for me to talk to you after a lifetime of being a fan. Nathan Lane is starring in Mid-Century Modern on Hulu. Nathan Lane, thank you so much for being with us today. What a pleasure to have you. Thank you. Thank you.
In a minute, the reason we're getting it red carpet ready around here, that's in our listener limerick challenge call. 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us in the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.
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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Alzo Slade. We're playing this week with Roy Blunt Jr., Luke Burbank, and Shantira Jackson. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Alzo. In just a minute...
It's you versus poetry in a no-holds-barred grudge match. If you'd like to play the listener limerick challenge, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Perino panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Luke, a new burger joint has opened in California where all the food is lovingly made by whom? Cows. No. That would be horribly cruel. Yeah, that would be pretty dark.
Lovingly, it's a burger joint. It's a burger joint. Are the people, is their age? I didn't say they were people. Oh, okay. Is this a robot? It is a robot burger joint.
Burger Bots. Burger Bots is a new restaurant in Los Gatos, California, where all the food is made by robots. And if you did not hate them enough, just for me saying that, their slogan is, we are the droids you've been looking for. Wow. I know. I don't mind having at least one robot there. That way, if somebody wants to start yelling, you can just do that at the robot and leave the children alone. Yes, right. Just yell at the robot. Yeah, just yell at the robot. So if a customer gets angry...
A robot comes in the back going, excuse me, I'm the manager. Can I help you? Yeah, and I want him to sound just like that. Right.
I mean, what's funny is they're using pre-existing industrial robots and they program them to do the task because they're very good these days. And just got to imagine, you know, the robots back there making the burgers going, I was designed to manufacture cars. I thought I'd be making spaceships and I'm just flipping burgers. Yeah. I,
I'm doing this to work my way through community college so I can get a desk job. Why do all your robots sound like they're from the 1970s? That's the last time I understood how a robot works. Shantira, this week a second grader playing with his mom's phone, quote, accidentally, unquote, did what?
Okay, I think I saw this. Like, spent $5,000 on, like, Roblox or something. Not Roblox. Can I have a hint? Well, she shouldn't have left her browser open on 70,000lollipops.com. Oh, yeah. I saw that. The Dum Dums? Yes. Lollipops. The kid ordered 70,000 lollipops. Oh, I saw that. And she tried to cancel it, and Amazon said no. Wait a minute. Jeff Bezos was being mean to someone? No.
That doesn't check out. After getting a hold of his mom's phone, the youngster got onto Amazon and ordered 70,000 dum-dum lollipops totaling over $4,000 in cost, depleting the Strategic National Lollipop Reserve and sending the barbershop and bank lobby communities into crisis mode. I feel like that's what we need AI for. What? To watch the internet and be like, are you sure?
That's a job for a computer. Like, to be like, I don't know, lady, do you really want this? It's like Janice's browsing history involves zero candy purchases, and one day she goes for $4,000 of Dum Dums. That seems, you're right, Chanterelle, that's something the computer could catch. Stop trying to make AI recreate Notting Hill and let them do that. That is what AI is for. Exactly.
Roy, question for you. Scientists announced the development of what might be the first universal snake antivenom, and they were able to do it with the help of a Wisconsin construction contractor who's been pursuing what hobby for 20 years?
Collecting snakes. Not just collecting them, but doing what with them? Letting them bite him. Exactly. For the past 20 years, a man named Tim Frieda in Wisconsin has been collecting venomous snakes and letting them bite him. On occasion. He only did it...
200 times. He did this because the eyelash removal surgery didn't fully masculinize him. I think men will do anything but go to therapy. It's really true. If you're his wife and you're watching him say, I'm going to go to the snake, bite me again, you're like,
You know, how many times does that have to happen before she says, you know, I think this is about something else? You said he only did it on occasion. Does that mean like his birthday or something? No, I didn't say on special occasions. I don't want any cake. Just bring out the thing. Bring out the water, Maka said. It's flag day. We got a new pope. Bite me. Right, right.
Coming up, it's lightning fell on the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can see us most weeks right here at the Studebaker Theatre in Chicago, or you can catch us on the road. We'll be in Des Moines, Iowa on July 10th and at Tanglewood in Western Massachusetts on August 28th. For tickets and info about all of our live shows, just head on over to nprpresents.org.
Hi, everyone. Wait, wait, don't tell me. Hi, this is Kristen calling from Mount Lake Terrace, Washington. Mount Lake Terrace. Where's Mount Lake Terrace? Is that like near the coast? It's basically between Seattle and Linwood. Okay. A little north. I have no idea where Linwood is, but I'll just take your word for it. Do you like to kick it at the Mount Lake Terrace pavilion? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh.
Oh, you didn't tell me it was where the Mount Lake Terrace Pavilion is. Mount Lake Terrace? That's three different things. I'm going to ask you where you're from. I just want you to say Seattle and we'll get on with it. All right, sounds good.
Welcome to the show, Kristen. Alzo Slade is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly, two of the limericks will be a winner. Ready to go? Sounds great. Here's your first limerick. Public transit can be quite a fuss. We're cops. Don't be bothering us. Our beats on the street, not there by your seat, to remove smelly food from a
Right. Police in Ireland were sent to stop a bus after a passenger complained about someone eating really smelly chips. You know the golden rule, smell something, say something. The police actually refused to stop the bus. That's because it turns out they were cheese and onion flavored chips, so they called in the SWAT team. Mm-hmm.
When you're on public transit, if somebody does something crazy, leave them alone. Don't provoke them. Don't provoke them. If somebody's bold enough to be like, yeah, I want to eat onions next year, you need to know that they're risking it all. It is amazing to think, John, about somebody starts eating stinky chips and you're like, police? Yeah. All right, here is your next limerick. The flight crew is silently creeping while the cleaners are wiping and sweeping.
We won't disturb guests as they're getting some rest. We just leave them behind if they are... Sleeping. Sleeping, yes. According to United Airlines, there is an alarming rise in accounts of sleeping passengers left on airplanes after their flight has landed because who hasn't just gotten done with a cramped five-hour flight and thought, but I'm so comfortable. Just 15 more minutes, please.
I want to know what flight this is. Everybody I get on a plane with stand up before we land. I know, right? Where are you going? The flight attendants promise going forward they'll be extra diligent and wake up passengers, you know, in the traditional way, running into their elbows hard with the drink cart. All right, here's your last limerick. When the next Golden Globes will be broadcast, all home studio people applaud fast.
Now basements with mics will see a big spike because the Globes have a prize for best sound.
Podcast the Golden Globes. You know them. They've always marketed themselves as the wildest award ceremony in Hollywood. Now they're ramping up the excitement by honoring the most boring art form. The top 25 podcasts of the year will be eligible for the best podcast Golden Globes. Imagine, you know, a chance for Hollywood elites like Timothee Chalamet and Zendaya to mingle on the red carpet with Michael Barbaro and the Hawk Tua girl. LAUGHTER
I just know that the worst person you've ever met is going to try and get a Golden Globes. Exactly. I would like to say, as a podcaster, this is ridiculous. Unless I'm nominated, in which case, let's give it a moment, everyone. Let's see how it plays out, okay? It's very nice that the Golden Globes are announcing this new category early because it gives all the podcast hosts plenty of time to borrow a suit. LAUGHTER
Also, how did Kristen do in our quiz? She won the game. Three out of three. Well done. Thank you so much, Kristen. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
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This message comes from Warby Parker. Prescription eyewear that's expertly crafted and unexpectedly affordable. Glasses designed in-house from premium materials starting at just $95, including prescription lenses. Stop by a Warby Parker store near you. Now it's time for our final game, lightning fill in the blank, and the true challenge for the judge and the scorekeeper.
Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Alzo, can you give us the scores? Yes, Shantira and Roy are knotted up in a tie at two, and Luke has four. How'd that happen? That bluff will really help you. It's your birthday! So that means that Shantira...
Shantira and Roy are tied for second. Shantira, we'll just start with you. Here we go. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, Chuck Schumer called for an investigation into the issues that shut down the airport in blank briefly. Newark. Right. On Wednesday, the Federal Reserve voted to keep blanks steady. The Constitution. No, that's not going to help. Interest rates. This week, the House GOP passed a bill renaming the Gulf of Mexico blank. It's
Still the Gulf of Mexico, the Gulf of America, I guess. Right. This week, a woman in Greece filed for divorce after Blank told her that her husband was cheating. Her husband? No. After ChatGPT told her that. On Monday, membership-based dieting company Blank filed for bankruptcy. The one that my mom probably had the shakes for. Weight Watchers. Yes. On Tuesday, Abu Dhabi was announced as the location for Blank's first new theme park to be built in over 20 years. Walt Disney? Yes. Walt Disney?
This week, a tourist in the Philippines who was bitten by a crocodile explained he only entered the crocodile's enclosure because blank. He asked him to. No, he entered because he thought the crocodile was fake.
Police said the man mistook the 15-foot reptile for a statue clambered over the chain link fence in the zoo waded into the shallow water as he took out his cell phone to take a selfie. That's a lot of work for something you're not supposed to be doing. It's true. Officials say the incident was almost a disaster whereas the crocodile said it almost worked.
Also, how did Shantira do in our quiz? She got three right for six points, which gives her a total of eight, and she is now in the lead. All right. Well done. Roy Blunt, you are up next. Here we go, Roy. Fill in the blank. On Thursday, President Trump announced a new trade deal with blank. England or Great Britain. Yeah, the UK. On Tuesday, the Supreme Court allowed Trump's ban on blank troops to go forward.
His ban on trans... Transgender, that's right. This week, the U.S. surpassed 1,000 cases of blank... Measles. Right. On Thursday, scientists discovered a genetic mutation that allowed some people to thrive on just four hours of blank... Sleep. Right. This week, a man in Britain was shocked when he opened his bag of potato chips and found blank inside. Let's see. A little bitty alligator. No. One, just one, really, really big chip. Oh, big chip.
On Wednesday, cast members from a touring production of Les Miserables said they would boycott a performance at the blank. Oh, at the Kennedy Center. Right. On Thursday, NASA warned that a Soviet-era blank would likely fall to the Earth this week. A Soviet space thing. Yeah, a spacecraft. After sending in a helicopter to rescue a man who got stranded while climbing Mount Fuji, rescue workers in Japan had to save him again four days later after he blanked. Ah.
He went back. He went back. He went back to get his cell phone. He did exactly that, Roy. Oh. Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, after being rescued the first time, the man quickly realized he had to scale the mountain again because he left his phone behind. Even worse, when he was being airlifted out again, he was like, hey, thanks, but why don't you guys grab my keys, right? I was like, how did Roy do in our quiz? Pretty well, I thought. Roy slated. He got seven right for 14 points, which gives him a total of 16, and he is now in the lead. All right, Al. Impressive.
Then, how many does Luke Burbank need to win? Six to tie, but we're not looking for ties right now. Seven to win, Luke. Here we go, Luke. This is for the game. On Wednesday, the Prime Minister of Pakistan vowed decisive action after Blank launched strikes against his country. The Taliban. No, India. This week, the official coronation portrait of Blank was made public. King William.
Is he king yet? No, no. King Charles? King Charles, yes. Is that how that works? That is generally how it works. According to new data, the state of blank surpassed Japan to become the world's fourth largest economy. The state of? The state of? California. Right. Months after zoos in China were caught painting dogs black and white and claiming they were pandas, a tourist attraction there blanked.
Put up a sign that said, our alligators are very real. No, this tourist attraction just painted the top of a small hill white and said, that's Mount Fuji. Did they put the guy up there too with his phone? On Wednesday, streaming giant Blank announced it was testing a TikTok-like vertical video mode for phones. Netflix? Right. On Monday, Simone Biles, Coleman Domingo, and other celebrities attended the 2025 Blank. Met Gala. Right. This week, a man in the UK was arrested for riding the train without a ticket on the way to Blank.
The giant potato chip festival. No, on the way to court to face 36 charges of riding the train without a ticket. Oh, no. According to police, this man is now one of the UK's most notorious fair dodgers. Thanks to this new charge, he now faces jail time as part of Britain's 37 strikes and you're out policy. Also, did Luke do well enough to win? Absolutely not. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Uh-uh.
He got four right for eight points. For a total of 12, Roy kicked everybody's butt. Yes, Roy! Roy Blunt Jr. wins it all. In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict what will be the new Pope's first official edict. But first, let me tell you that...
Wait, wait, don't tell me. It's a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord, Philip Godica writes our limericks, our public address announcer is Paul Friedman, our tour manager is Shana Donald. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theatre. BJ Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King. Special thanks to Mohand Elsheiki and Monica Hickey. Peter Gwynn, now that's a name that I haven't heard in a long time. And
Emma Choi is our vibe curator. Today we say goodbye to our fellow Hannah Anderson, whose time with us has come to an end. Hannah, we cannot thank you enough for the laughs and for the candy that your mom sent from your home in Canada. If things get bad, we might ask you to smuggle some lumber across the border. And if things get really bad, we might ask you to legally adopt us.
Technical direction for our show is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilag. And the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mike Danforth. Now, panel, what would be the first edict of Robert Prevost, now known as Pope Leo XIV? Yay! Luke Burbank. Ketchup on a hot dog is now a mortal sin. LAUGHTER
Shantira Jackson. He's going to make Carmi from the bear a saint and now confessions, you have to say three Hail Marys and a yes chef. And Roy Blunt Jr. Hey y'all, I'm an American. Call me Bob.
And if any of that happens, panel, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you, Alzo Slade, for doing us a fine job. Thanks also to Luke Burbank, Shantira Jackson, and Roy Blunt Jr. Thanks to all of you for listening to us. I am Peter Sagan. We'll see you next week. This is NPR.
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