106: TANA’S EMBARRASSING MOMENT WITH JUSTIN BIEBER
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Sorry if I look like I'm in a biker gang right now, you guys. Yeah, we, again, we just. I'm getting hazed over here. Never can coordinate vibes, but I kind of love it. It's, well, the thing is, is this beanie is not a short sleeve t-shirt beanie. There's no such thing as a short sleeve t-shirt beanie. It's, well, it's just like. Like, that's so wrong. You can wear anything with anything, really. And you do it. I've seen it.

I just felt like I had to like commit to the look and throw on a jacket. I love it. You look amazing. And Emo Night is tonight at the Palladium. So honestly, you can go. I used to love Emo Night so much. Do you remember that literally the second time we ever hung out, like just you and I, or like it was at Emo Night, but like you were like, come to Emo Night, please. I forget which boyfriend you were with at the time. It could have been like honestly a few of them.

I was really dating the Emo Night roster for too long. You were. And I showed up to you. Like you were like, come to Emo Night, come to Emo Night. And I got to Emo Night. You disappeared. Like literally went ghost. I had to handpick through every emo person to find you. Yeah.

And what a time it was. We were just looking for emo boots size 14 in the crowd. Yes. Was it? So then was I there? Did we look exactly like you do now? The leather jacket beanie combo. Well, the beanie with anything. It's so funny to me how often I wore a black beanie with a slutty outfit.

Like it's like Your head is cold And your body is not No that was like That was the era That I met you in It was like You were like 20, 21 Like fishnets And it was always beanie Beanie and fishnets Like you are so confused You are so confused Eva No in my opinion I honestly don't even think That's that weird Because that's like You know what I mean Like it's too cold For fishnets So I have a beanie That's at least like

least like my head was warm nothing else yes cheeks my favorite little leather micro shorts and micro shorts weren't even in you were ahead of the curve I was ahead of the curve um hey I have the giggles and I'm trying to dial them back right now and think about what we should talk about I have some topics I'm trying to decide where to start I've just been hopped up on painkillers and different things I got ass shots two days ago yes you did um can you tell me about the experience

Well, the thing is, okay, so sometimes I forget Paige is my assistant, right? Like I really fucking do. And it's like, I was talking to her in the car one day, just not like thinking about it in an assistant way. I was like, God, I need ass shots. I saw this live photo of my ass where shit was just bouncing in 2021. Voluptuous, massive. And right now I'm smoking the Hank Hill pack. Like my ass is so full.

Fucking flat. And I was born with a flat ass. You know what I mean? So it takes me back to my genetics. And it's like, I've worked so hard to get so far away from that girl. You've rejected those for so long. You cannot stop now. Exactly. And so I was like,

Just saying like God I want to get ass shots but I wasn't like you know what I mean it's like God I want to get a pony I wasn't like okay yeah and then like a pony yeah yes and then the pony showed up so then a couple days later I was telling her I was like I need to go to the med spa and I meant for like Botox and a lip flip very different from ass shots okay.

You can go in and get Botox and a lip flip like a latte, right? Pick it up in and out. Ash shots is a whole thing. You've got to take a sedative before. Most people do laughing gas and then you're like out for the count bruised up. You can't walk whatever, right? I can't believe you put yourself through that of all people because I feel like you do not like to do that. My need to not have a micro pancake ass

is greater than supersedes all logic all everything whatever so anyways what I get injected in my ass Sculptra makes your own ass grow it makes your collagen regenerate

They have to like mix it and prepare it. Okay. Like on some, like the power puff girls. What's the guy? Why was I going to say that? Like making his little thing in the beginning, sugar spice, everything nice sculpture. They have to mix it up and make it. And once they prepare the solution, it has a 15 day shelf life.

And then it's expired, which is really concerning that it's getting injected in me. But then it... I'll take whatever's passed due. Right. You know what I mean? And so I show up for my Botox midday. I have Hoctua after. Like, I'm not prepared to be out for the count. Did you go to Hoctua after? No, this was like a week and a half ago. And then Nune was like, are you ready for your ass shots? And I was like, no. I would have 17 people with me to hold all of my orifices. I would be so sedated, like...

I can't do this today And she was like Okay well you have like Seven days to do it Before it goes bad They're also like Ten thousand dollars Worth of shit Like I'm not gonna put Mama Nune Out like that Right Yeah So now I'm in this bind Where I'm like moving And doing all this shit But I have to get These ass shots There's just no other choice So

So I had to go get them Against my own will A couple days ago And they basted me Like a turkey I honestly want the people To see I'm at the Jingle Ball And I receive a video Like something I've never seen before It's honestly It's so funny too Because I thought I was going to Literally go to the Jingle Ball And meet you there After my ass shots It's like you've Never done it before

The thing is, is I used to snap back like a rubber band. I'm telling you this is age. Like, I remember this one time I got juiced and pumped up like a turkey and I went directly on a jet to Miami and I was an 11 that night. Brand new ass shots leaking out, shaking ass with the strippers. Like, it used to not...

But now I'm like It's age It is it is 100% Maybe it's the time of year too I feel like everything's harder this time of year The needle like Like my skin like resisting the needle No I can't I'm not kidding I couldn't even hardly watch it I'm like I have a really sensitive stomach these days It's like hard for me to see things I saw something gory earlier today And I actually threw up Oh my god it's so scary I need to insert it so the people know

That I'm clinically insane. It's so scary too. Cause I always bring a lot of people with me to like support me through it. And like watching their faces while it's happening is like, Oh my God, that's almost more traumatizing than anything. Like I have a, I have a procedure coming up tomorrow and who's my emotional support person.

Brooke Baldwin, who happens to be getting her wisdom teeth out tomorrow morning. That's Brooke Baldwin. That's crazy that you both are going through that. I know. And like, I almost didn't get well, because it's like when I they said I had to schedule. It was like I made me feel like I had to schedule it like immediately. So then the only day that they had was December 9th or December 27th. And I'm like, I can't go on December 27th. So I'm

I had to go on BB's wisdom teeth day, but then I had to move the appointment so that I can take her to her wisdom teeth. And then who's, do you need me to come help your puss out? Well, here's the other thing. Yeah. It's like I, my legs are in the stirrups, but so it's like, I don't, there's not a lot of people that I really like think would enjoy the experience.

But it's supposed to be so traumatic, Tana. So... I want to bring the people back to last week when I said everybody should be getting a pap smear and it's so easy. I was like... Because, you know, people say pap smears are like super traumatic and I was like expecting that. So I like put it off. I hate when I get those every week. Yes. I put it off for like genuinely just like way too long and I'm 28 years old and just got my first one. And so...

I go and get my pap smear and it was easy peasy. Okay. You made it seem like it was like earwax. It was. I didn't even, I hardly even noticed that it was happening. I literally, and I was completely fine. Like no pain meds, nothing, obviously. And so I came on here and I told the people, well, immediately after that, I get my abnormal results back. Okay. And now I have to get what is called a colposcopy, which is not to be confused with a colonoscopy, which is what I've been running around telling everybody all week and I'm getting

Basically When you google it It says That they are gonna put Just like a camera up there Okay And they're like Like that's what they're doing That's what a colonoscopy is right Yeah they put a camera Up your ass Yeah But GoPro up your

Poop shooter. But... Take the mic away, Tana. A colonoscopy is like to find abnormal cells, but like if you're getting a colposcopy, they already know there's abnormal cells, so they have to take a biopsy, okay? What a biopsy is, apparently, is a big fat chunk out of your cervix, okay? And it's done with no anesthesia, no pain management, nothing. They just say...

You'll be fine. And I would like to read you some of the raving reviews online. What do you mean no pain management? That feels like Trump's America. They said, I swear to God, they said take an ibuprofen before. I said. Girl, if you don't take one of each of the medicine cabinet, I would never tell any of the fans out there to do that. But as my dear friend. No, so, so, and literally online it says like it's not that bad. So I searched it on TikTok because everything on TikTok is true. I've always said that. And.

And I'm not kidding. Like all the videos are like, I cannot believe like this is actually inhumane. But the way I would walk in, like I hate people. I love them. I would really walk in thinking I'm ready for me. No, trust me. I'm picking up my pain management from Tijuana in the morning. And then this is what people are commenting. This is just one video of a colposcopy like review. And the comments are colposcopy was without a doubt the most painful thing I've ever experienced. I fainted. I have two kids and I had thyroid cancer. This was much worse.

Do you know when you get pizza and there's like cubed ham on your pizza? Like that's what I'm imagining taking. Okay. Well, so I posted a video about this today and somebody said, when you say chunk, just know it is a chunk. They said it's the size of your fingertip. Okay. This person says, I work in a clinic and it is common to hear women screaming in all caps in a colposcopy. I've set up for the procedures with no anesthetic ever included. Having chunks of flesh removed hurts. It's barbaric.

Everybody says it's barbaric It's unacceptable that we as women are treated like this Like I cannot believe No local, no topical, nothing We're in LA Like where does J-Lo go? I know they give her laughing gas There are no words for the agony Worst thing ever No anesthetic told They tell you it's just a pinch It is not just a pinch Like everyone basically is like Absolutely sedate yourself to the point of no return I would get so fucked up I would do it myself and come in and be like Here's my cervix Yeah, so I saved this video

To show you. Well, I watched like a real one get performed. Like I watched it, like the camera footage of it. What do you mean? Live on Twitch? No, it's on TikTok because it's just like, you know, it looks like a throat or something. Like you can't tell it's like someone's cervix. But I thought you might appreciate that I show you just the video of them doing it to an orange instead. I would actually appreciate the citrus version. I searched colposcopy visual.

bruh this song over there at being gyno girls is hilarious okay hold on i'm sorry it just being done on an orange is so funny like imagine i'm doing that to like your lip i swear to god i would come in with it like myself like because things that's like they're slicing like even if it appears small the only thing i want to say is that like it looks fast

Like is it that fast On your puss You still feel it after And you like have to do it Yeah I have to do it Or I could just like Like ride it out And like maybe die Or something I don't know what's wrong That's the thing Like so you don't That's what they have to find out I'm trying to make you Feel better Like I'm like I want to support you Through this Obviously I love you No I mean I think It's gonna be fine But

But because some people... There are some people who are commenting and they're like, it's not as bad as you think it's going to be. But like most people are commenting like literally, you should probably just never show up. I feel like I would try a new... Like I would go on Molly. So I would enjoy it. Like no, take more. Yeah, I don't know. I really... It's just really crazy. But...

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Woohoo!

I want to go back to your ass shots conversation really quickly because I, you know how I told you I went in? Well, first of all, do you remember when Kris Jenner said...

If someone tells you no, you're asking the wrong person. Of course, I take that too literally on a daily basis. Yeah, well, that's how I feel about the lady who told me that she won't give me under eye filler. Okay? Because at first I appreciated it. I was like, you know what? That was like, I probably needed that. But then I'm looking at myself and I'm like, please, somebody give it to me. I don't think you need it. So if you're out there and you would be willing to perform the procedure on my face, no anesthetic needed.

I will sacrifice I know a girl Well wait What procedure Wait what Well no I just want to Fill my under I have always filled My under eyes But then it started Like low key Well as I've been Researching what's Happening What's happening To Lindsay Lohan And She looks amazing Christina Aguilera

A lot of roads are leading to Sculptra. Like they're getting Sculptra in their face, which is so funny. No, but everyone's saying PRP. Oh. Which is the same concept. Like you regenerate collagen on your own. I'm saying I've been trying Sculptra for years in my hip dips. Like, you know. Oh, you started it again. I know my body just, you know, I know it's acclimated to that. There's more Sculptra in me than like white blood cells. Yeah. I had PRP scheduled.

But then we had film canceled. Can't they do it during your cervix removal? No, but like wouldn't that be nice? That's what you should do. I would have like a... Like when you're already under? Like I'd have an at-home nail tech there. Like something to distract me. I'd be like, I want the tortoise French tip.

Like, what if you, like, collabed on something else happening? No. Well, but it is funny because I actually did get my nails done at the Kesha concert the other night. Like, genuinely. No, I walk into this fucking Spotify event and I'm like, don't know many people there. It's so funny, too. I walk in. It's me and Makoa. And the first person we see is Fenita. And she walks up to Makoa, not even me, and just goes, you eat ass. I know you eat ass. God, I love her. Yeah.

Grilling McCowan if he eats ass And I'm trying to find you And I start asking everyone Where you are And then you're just Getting your nails done I was getting my nails done But I needed my nails done There was a nail tech At the party And I've always seen that And been like Who uses that Really You didn't know that The one with the orange hair That's my nail tech I think she did BB That's so funny And she slayed her Mine are coming off low key But I honestly didn't give her Lots to work with But you can get like Your eyebrows threaded During your cervix optomy I don't think I can Like I almost think Because that shit hurts

You know I'm trying to think I don't know I think it's I think all roads are leading to Sedating yeah Yeah I mean I don't even think that's like misusing of the drug The fact that we live in a society where Women are supposed to raw dog that is Yeah I also have some leftover Well I didn't take any of my pain medicine When I got my boobs done So maybe I take it tomorrow Yeah but I just feel like the anxiety too

I don't want to like You do what you Is best for you No I am really anxious about it I'm not kidding Like when I started Watching these videos And reading these comments I was like hysterical But Yeah I mean I think that Just going really comfortable Maybe you know God I have no advice I'm so sorry But it's so funny Me and Bebe were like Having a competition today Because like I think She's like I don't want to say jealous But

She's I think she's getting mad that I'm like Like oh this is YouTube Bitches worst nightmare one of you's Got a pussy octomy and the other one's Getting their wisdom teeth out she's getting so Mad she's like it's not even fucking bad like it's literally Not bad like invalidating my feelings Because I think she wants tomorrow To be her day understand That's like that's tough for you Two with the like pain Olympics I know but it's actually Funny because we're Gonna just have to we're both gonna be like

Out for the count At the same time And I think we should just Like collab But maybe you guys Can each schedule a day This week where it's like Your day for everyone To like coddle you about it It is really funny Like just like Funny coincidence though I can't believe They have to prosciutto slice you Let me know if you need anything I mean seriously That's like fucking tough I just want to feel something Does that mean like More space for your tampons? I don't even know What a cervix is Like now are you gonna need Like super plus plus?

What made you assume that I was already using super plus? If I could actually shove a roll of paper towels up there, I would. I have to talk to you about my blood as well. I was going to save this for the Patreon. Maybe we should. It's not...

Really rated R is just fucking disgusting. And I know people are so sick of me talking about shit like this. No pun. But like, I have got to talk about it. Tell me. Okay, mind you, Makoa and I just had our one year anniversary. Okay. Happy anniversary. It's today. Very special day. It's yesterday. I just couldn't get the post up in time.

It took me so long I had to go through Every photo of us To ever exist You know And pick my favorites But So sweet And I just love him so much I just want to say Like I'm so Happy And I just can't believe it It flew by I know It's so crazy You sat down here Literally the second you met him And you said That

I'm telling you right now, like I'm gonna marry this guy. And I just know what I love him so much. He's really the love of my life. It's so crazy. It feels like 10 years, but also like five minutes. And he did the sweetest stuff. I like last week I was saying there's this area of the house that I've never used this little like grass area.

Think in front of his room. And he set up this whole morning picnic because it was after my ass shot. So we had to like reroute the plans because I had a bit of a live to like sit on a donut. No, I'm not kidding. He made me like a BBL pillow and there was a picnic and he made like a scrapbook of all of our photos and all this cute stuff. And it was really sweet that he like also because he had a whole day planned. And then I was like, wait, I can't walk. Just very cute anniversary vibes. Like I've just been on my cute vibe with McCall. Okay. Two nights before our anniversary. Right.

And I've been talking to you about this I've always had a bleeding problem Okay And the more I think about it I'm starting to have memories Of my childhood Of like my mom As she got older Having the same problem Like really bleeding Like I remember Maybe it's like a clotting issue Like some people don't clot And I don't clot Like during my nose job I almost died You know I was spewing Like a fountain And they thought I was anemic And like I still think I am I never got the blood test It's like You can do the test right now Just the arm test Okay

Oh yeah, and that, when I do that, it does, yeah. So lately it's been crazy. Like I'm talking super plus tampon filled in fucking three minutes. It's like literally how is this coming out of me like this? I don't know what's going on, okay?

I don't know if I'm really about to take it there. Take it there. But I also decided... We're all friends here. That I wanted to try Manjaro. Okay. Now I feel like I have to go on a whole tangent about that. Okay, I'm not taking from the diabetics. I feel like we're past that. Like, are people still mad about that? I don't know if people are still saying... I don't have a good gauge for that. ...that you use semaglutide that you are taking from people in need. But I just want to let everyone know that I go to this, like... Well, I'm not... I don't go. Like, I... This was...

I just wanted to try it. Okay. And I went to like a celebrity person who only does like the people she does is fucking crazy. Like, you know who she does. Like, I wish I could tell you, like I've been getting the tea and it's like, everyone's fucking on it. Like if I'm not taking this medicine, she is only giving it to like insert a list person here. Right. And like, she keeps that shit in her fucking walk-in closet. It's never making it to the ICU, whatever. Um, I decided I want to try it.

And so then obviously now, you know, like if anything medically weird were to happen with my gastrointestinal areas, that's now a factor, right? Yes. Okay. And so I go to the bathroom the other night. It's like two in the morning. I'm bleeding out everywhere. Like I said, I'm filling up these. I'm just really fucking bleeding out. And digital footprint. I'm trying to think of the word. Okay. This, I'm noticing a symptom of this injection being that like,

My shits. Oh, yeah. They're not giving like full and thorough. Okay. Like sometimes it's like one step higher than a fart. Okay. Like just a little. Just a little. Like a shart on water. Yeah. Yeah. Like a little more than a shart. Like there's some solidity to it. I'm so sorry. Okay. Just imagine. I'm pretty sure like Amari can hear us. And I imagine like walking by. Yeah.

And so, you know, bleeding out. And then obviously, you know, I feel a little, a little pebble. Okay. Incoming. Incoming. And I've already, you know, situated my period situation. Okay. And you know, when you're wiping the front, I wipe the front. Do you? Yeah. No, you shouldn't.

Always front to back. The whole thing? Yes. Oh, don't get me started on full front to back wipers. I know what you're going to say. You're going to say something can happen if I wipe. I'm not saying I wipe from my ass to my clit, but I'm saying like, I'm just saying like if I'm like bleeding, like I'm just going to like scoop up. Yeah. It's like changing a diaper. I feel like you've got to scoop every direction you can.

I'm so sorry. Okay, this is so, so fucking embarrassing. And so obviously, you know, when I'm pooping, I go from the back up, right? And so I wipe back up.

And when I and, you know, I like to check out what's happening each time. I'm that kind of person. It's not nobody. Nobody. Aaron was just turning off the camera. And I was like, that is so real. Make podcast equipment more expensive. I just go to check. Nobody doesn't check. You're lying if you say don't check. If you just blindly throw it in the trash, then you're dirty because you don't know if you're done or not. One hundred percent. Like I saw I just I go to check and like I shit blood, a lot of blood.

Like I've never seen this amount of blood. How do you know it wasn't your period? I don't. Oh, okay. But like I only wiped my asshole. Okay. And it is like blood clots, like big black blood clots with so much bright red blood. So I scream at the top of my lungs. I go back to check again. I'm like, oh my God, no, I just fucking shit blood. Right.

And so obviously it's like two in the morning and I'm not going to like, no one else was home either. It was just me and McCall. Who do you call? So I shove a super soaker up there, you know, just your asshole. No, no, no, no, no, no.

Well, and I run out to Makoa and my due to, I was like just a bitch to him before I walked in the bathroom. So imagine like, I like just, I was just a little bitchy. It was nothing like not a huge fight, but I was just a little bit of a bitch. I walked to the bathroom. I was planning on walking back, head held high, standing on bitchness. Right. And I walked back and I have to be like, I just shit blood. I just shit blood. And then it's like, obviously someone who cares about you is going to ask like every question. And I'm having to explain all this to him. And like,

There's just no probable way that that much with the way that I wipe that that much blood was on like my gooch. Your gooch. My date. I'm like working hard on not being judgmental in this conversation.

And I agree with you. I think that you must have shit blood. There's no way your gooch could hold all that volume, that blood volume. It was like a serious cloth. Serious. And then I was in the bathroom like really trying to like shit again so I could like, you know what I mean? You should have shoved, honestly, you should have shoved a tampon up your ass just to see. Because I can't stress to you enough. So then obviously I'm on Google and a side effect of Manjaro can be that people get like hemorrhoids or like

Fissures. Right? Fissures is crazy. But this wasn't giving like...

Rip of the whole This was giving What I saw came out of me Deep inside of me And no solution? I mean And I just still didn't Go to the hospital Which I think is like Really fucking crazy Well if it's resolved itself Like you're probably Good to go And so now I'm like I don't know if I ever want to Try Manjaro again Because I'm like What if that was The reasoning You know what I mean But then everything Just went back to normal But imagine having to Walk out to Makoa Tail between my legs Two days before Our one year anniversary And be like I shit blood And then now I'm explaining To him a period And how I wipe And all this Just like

Well, you know what? There's nothing to be ashamed of. Periods are normal. My period is not normal at the moment. What's going on? That was the concern. That's literally why I went in the first place. Oh, why? Because I've never, literally my entire life, I've always had like perfectly, like to the hour, like regular periods. And I'm very...

I'm very lucky, very light periods. Like maybe it's, it always goes to two days on one day off one day on again. It's like the strangest thing, but it's so consistently that. And all of a sudden, like I got my period a week early and then the next month I got it another week early. So now I'm two weeks early from my normal period time. And then this last period that I just had one day long, like not even a day. So I was like, wait, something's wrong.

And then I went And they were like Let's take a chunk It's so funny Jeff Wittek always like Cooks me like Just as a bit He'll be like Yeah and you guys Sit down and just Talk about your periods And vaginas for an hour And I'm always like We talk about so much More than that No we fucking don't Well it's normal I shit blood Like that's

That's the thing People are like Don't talk about Your bowel movements On your podcast If you had a podcast And you shit blood And you had to go Tell your boyfriend Two days before Your one year anniversary Because you're home alone And it's three in the morning That you think you shit blood But you're also on Manjaro And you're trying to figure it out You might want to discuss That on a podcast too I completely I'm You know what diva I am always on your side Take the mic away

Take the fucking mic away. I just like, I don't know. I like, I've been wanting to talk about the fact that I like dabbled in some Manjaro, but I just think that it's like that showed me that I shouldn't. And after watching The Substance, like I just, what the fuck is wrong with me? I think I learned my lesson and back to the Jonas Brothers it goes. Kidding. I'm not.

Oh, I get it. Oh my God. I hate when that happens. I was on a major delay, but yes, Nick Jonas does have diabetes. I just, I just, it was one shot. I promise I'm not. I just, I actually, I just, I don't think semaglutide goes to Nick Jonas. I think it's also trizepatide. Oh, see, I just,

I know nothing about it Every bitch in LA Knows everything about it That's the thing too That's so frustrating Is like I know I'm gonna get So much hate for saying That I tried one shot Even though again It's seriously a celebrity nurse Who like keeps them In a fucking cooler In her car And drives around To fucking It's actually crazy Because I borrowed Your celebrity nurse And well I didn't even know It was happening I just was asking my manager Like need Lamictal now Okay And she just showed up At my door And she was like Oh by the way

Like my name is like blah blah blah. I recognize that it's like a kind like the doctors to the stars that like don't have an office and like they just drive to all these celebrities houses. That's all they do. It's like the people who were prescribing like Anna Nicole Smith her medications and Michael Jackson and stuff. That's how like where it gets a little scary for me. No it's a very very like crooked dark side of Hollywood like all the doctors because they just

They don't care. And it's crazy too because all of the doctors that I have and like see for all the things like I pretty much do only use like the celebrity doctors and like they give me so much tea. Like I should not know what like

Prescribed Yeah where is HIPAA I know every single person Like major A-list celebrity That like Has ever tried Ozempic Like and it's all of them But it's nuts Like that shouldn't be Yeah but they're If they're telling you About other people They're telling other people About you I know Getting ahead of the Curve here There you go But like it's just nuts That I'm gonna get so cooked But it's like Every single person On my For You page This is the cancelled podcast I guess it's so true Wait speaking of Um

which we actually weren't at all. You went on talk to her. Yes. And now she's going to jail. What do you mean she's going to jail? I don't. Why are you trying to correlate those? No, no. Imagine I set up a sting operation on Octua. No.

My ass hurts so bad I just think like Are we cursed or something Like I feel like Everything we touch Turns to stone Like We both went on Leave me the fuck out of that Okay No but honestly I actually got a lot of hate For going on talk to her Because They thought that like She was genuinely like Ghosting you and like She didn't want to have you on But like

It was just scheduling issues But it was just a funny I mean like She wasn't replying to me Everything I said was true Like it was just But it was like a funny bit And like it wasn't like Oh my god she hates Tana I'm gonna go on Talk to her Like that was never the vibes But did you not see Like everything that she's in I don't know if it's Like well I shouldn't be talking about something That I don't know if it's true or not But like Basically the scandal Is her like whole app That she was It was like Hawk to a coin Which already is like

I love her so much And I feel like we had to learn That influencers shouldn't have coins After Logan Paul had like Yeah he had Yeah he had like a similar scandal I think it was like the same thing In my opinion This is the fault of whoever's advising her Because I don't think Hayley Welch is like Is really like doing all that You know what I mean It's actually the team around that is It's wild I haven't really seen But like a lot of people I guess lost money But then it's like

I mean, at what point is it like, you're bad? When did they have her having the coin?

What? Like when did she release the coin? Like recently. Like this year. Yeah. Oh yeah. No one should have coins anymore. No. But like I guess. Yeah. I mean it's not. I'm not judging her. I think that I 100% put the fault on whoever advised her. That was what I wanted to have the conversation about. I think it's just like such a classic example of like somebody like getting a lot of attention really quickly and like taking the first team that comes across their desk and

And like these people got her in trouble. That it's the tale as old as time. That's always going to happen. Someone's going to blow up overnight, especially like it's one thing when people are from major cities and have resources and stuff. It's much scarier when it is someone who like doesn't want this, knows nothing about it, is not protecting themselves. They don't have the knowledge. You can make so much money from doing this thing there. You're going to do it. Like Haley Welch is not like,

Plotting behind the scenes To scam people No there's so many things In my career Where even just like

releasing a perfume like I would go to my team and be like I want the perfume I want it to look like this and then like it comes out that the bottle's Alibaba and everyone's saying I just wanted to scam people but it's like no I just didn't fucking know that you know what I mean like it's it's because I'm sure she probably asked all questions in her wheelhouse like hey is this okay like you know what I mean but like yeah that sucks I know I like always just get really sad for

any influencers when I see that when I feel like they're like like it being puppeteered potentially like and it's like very scary and that I feel like with her rise to fame and the way it is it's really scary territory even just being there like all the people I was like I hope she really like wants to do the things that she's doing it's crazy though even I posted and all my comments were like Tana no Tana like I understand that people are saying like

That her content maybe lacks substance. I just don't even think I agree. But like I'm fucking Socrates. Like I'm fucking Einstein. Is it really like a hop, skip and a jump away from me going on Hawk Tua? I like truly think like they're just really like actually funny. I think that everyone's just mean. I was getting so much hate for going on. Like genuinely like I was getting a lot of fucking hate and I was like of all people

Like you can think she's stupid. You don't have to watch it. You don't have to, but like for people to be so up and arms, cause she hasn't done anything wrong.

Now there's a point. Except for getting attention. Yeah, and then now there's this. Yeah, but like this was before that, I guess. And it's just like, that's so strange to me. I just, I feel so sad for her because it's like, I really think I've said it a million times. I'll keep fucking saying it. I think any girl or person in her position would do it too for a check. Yeah, and I think it'll pass, hopefully. But did you have a good time? Yeah, it was cute. Honestly, it was just like, I had a long day. It was at the end of my day. I just really went to chat. I really just...

It wasn't like this hootie crazy time. I think I just left with a very protective energy. Like I was just very much like, especially when I just see these younger crazy girls getting thrown into this industry. I think that my mind just always goes to all the shit that happened to me. And I just like get very like protective and just all the people around. I was telling her they'll probably cut it from her podcast, but I was kind of just being like,

Talking to her about how like you're going to have off days. You don't have to be on every day. You don't have to be this character that you don't want to be like you are a multifaceted human being and like remember that. And she was kind of saying like, tell my managers that. And I was like, oh, you know, I just really fucking hope she's like.

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So I actually want to talk to you about people in the industry not slaying. Okay. I was just on the cover of Paper Magazine. And I want to say it was the biggest fucking honor. And it was just such a cool concept. I think that...

I don't know if they're stopping at LA and that they only did this for LA or if they're going to do it for like New York and other cities too. I really don't know, but they did this set of digital covers that was like all LA, right? So they had just all these different characters like Marsha Molinari who like does H wood and like all that type of stuff. And like Lisa Rinna, who's like a different era of a different type of LA and like

Ricky Thompson and just like Rebecca Black and all these Heidi Montag different era like all these just very the Queen of Melrose just very different characters who all kind of represent LA in different ways and stuff like that you know and they essentially they wanted the feel of the cover to be like walking into a party in LA like this is so fucking random this grouping of people and I felt like they executed that really well it was very much like why the fuck are all these people like together right and I'm so excited to do what they wanted me to vape on the cover I was like

In a corseted dress cutting into me like lightheaded from smoking. But I love that one. Like, I think you truly serve...

when you leave a little injured too. Oh yeah. I love that. I feel like I gave it my all. I was on the cover with Carter. I love him so much. It was, it was everything right. That that's my point. That's it. I go to the shoot. It's the best day ever. And then a couple of weeks later, the cover comes out. I see the cover and I'm like, I'm so happy with my image and you know me and my fucking face tune. So I was really happy just like that. They chose a good image that didn't, I didn't feel like needed face to whatever. Right.

And so after we shot the cover, they interviewed us, right? And they're asking us all these questions, just like, what does LA mean to you? Why do you love LA? What are your craziest LA stories, right? And I answer like 20 of these fucking questions. And one of the last questions was, what are your craziest memories living in LA, right? And so I tell this person, and I quote...

I quote, I tell this interviewer about the time that I lived on Weed Lake Drive next door to the Hype House, next door to Mewa's Post Malone crew. And like my house was very much just like a revolving door. It was such a fucking crazy time. I'm saving so many of these stories for the next.

the book like just the parties and the shit that happened in my house it was so fucking insane and I was talking about the house as well I was talking about how like face clan lived there before me Justin Bieber shot a bunch of music videos in the house before me like juice world lived there at one point so many crazy people I was talking about how the owner of the house sued me and sued pretty much every single person who lived in the house and I'm the only person who's ever won against him and like I'm the only girl who ever lived there I tell them

all the lore of me living in this house and I say I'm saving the story for the book and do you want to know what they took from this quote? What did they take? That I lived with Justin Bieber in Hollywood Hills. I lived with Justin Bieber. I lived with Justin Bieber. Are you, imagine me, I open my phone, blown up,

up like genuinely all my dms tiktok comments text messages you lived with beaver how are you gonna drop this lore on us like how are you just now gonna fucking tell us that i get a reddit notification tana's known to lie she's so exaggerated yada yada she's lying about why i would like beaver realistically like i don't think you would ever lie knowing it was going to be printed

In a magazine. And just this time. Like. Again. I hate people. I love them. That girl did live with Justin Bieber. You know what I mean? But like. Are you fucking kidding me? And then I'm just. I am such a fucking believer. I am such a believer. Like. I know. A lot of people from Bieber's team. That like. Follow me. Like. Just at the off chance. And like.

I am also so... That he thinks he like made that up. I'm so leave Bieber alone. Like I am so leave Bieber alone. Like him and Hailey and Jack, like let them fucking live. I never want to be a part of that problem. How fucking embarrassing. Paper Magazine. And it's not like it's like...

A writer saying like Tana alleges she lived with Bieber. It is like Tana. And then I lived with Bieber in Hollywood Hills. Mind you, the other peoples are like, I went to a glory hole once. Like how it looks like I'm like trying to like name. I actually really fucking sorry that happened to you because the anxiety that that would give me like is like it would be my favorite person. But you know what? This is what I will say.

He of all people Knows exactly What it's like To have your words Just twisted And fucking bent Out of shape Okay He probably knows That that was A misunderstanding He of all people Knows he didn't Live with you He of all people Knows that he Wouldn't go within Fucking a hundred yards Of your house I love this I'm so fucking Embarrassed Paper If

Eventually responded And they sent like This emoji And they were like Our bad Like we'll change it Our bad is crazy It's fine now But like that just Would fucking happen to me Like that didn't happen To any other Of the 30 people On that fucking cover Like That's so funny Like it's not funny With just No it's so It is so funny Like I've just

But like there were like four days last week where I was just responding to so many texts. Like I know I didn't fucking live with Justin Bieber. Are you fuck? Can I just have one thing? Like how about congrats on the cover of paper? Like are you fucking? It's crazy to me. This is what I am pulling from this conversation. Crazy how many people read the article.

You know what I mean Like I never read it If I see a cover I never usually read the article I know I was kind of gagged I guess that is true I do I love reading articles Really But I don't know I always say I read an article Instead of saying I watched a TikTok I read an article about You read an article that Like your podcast co-host Lived with Justin Lived with Justin Bieber Like

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I'm going to start training for the challenge.

Please. I'm dead fucking serious. I think you could do it. Here's the thing. I've watched an entire season of The Challenge in the last 24 hours because I've never watched it. Olivia's obviously like our friends. She was on The Challenge. She's on like four seasons of The Challenge. Miss Olivia Kaiser, we love her. Obviously, she's been my friend. I've never seen her on The Challenge. So watching her in this light was so crazy. Tana, she's a fucking monster. First of all,

So amazing like just like so Strong she's a fuck like she's Just like she can do everything I Need to watch it tonight so agile Just so good all the challenges Never gives up will do anything She's you know slurping like Fucking sardine mayonnaise water Like doing every she's jumping From building she's scaling walls Like a really wild like she's like A fun party girl like she's really Fun really girly girl like by the Way she there's not a single Challenge that she does without a Miami lash on like she's

She is She's in a full beat Like genuinely Like doing the crazy shit And she always talks to us About going to film The challenge I feel like she's always Going to film the challenge And like I've just never Seen her in it I don't know why Yeah and like obviously I mean it's not really a spoiler Because you know This happened to her But like in the She's in the finale And it's a hundred hour Long finale So

Smashes her entire face Breaks it in five places Yeah and they had to Buy her a new nose And she's just funny about it But she's just going She's going Can I still Can I finish Can I finish She's going Is it broken Her literal nose Is like on her temple Like It is so crazy But

What I gather from it Is that obviously I want to do that as well Well I loved that show That Jojo Siwa And Blac Chyna were on Yeah Special Forces And Jojo Siwa was like What do we I'm scaling a mountain And she like kills it She kills it I think those are like More extreme conditions Than the challenge Because the challenge Is unique in that Like it's It's like real world Kind of vibes Because it's

The same people come back over and over again. So it's like a reality show, kind of. So that's why she keeps going back. Where do they film it? Because the relationships... Season 38 was filmed in Argentina, but I think they switched around. But two people were engaged and two of them just had a baby. And they're very much intertwined in each other's lives and seasons. And people come back and stuff. So it's very cool in that way. But I want to go on it...

So badly Like I think you 100% could That's so fun And I think like Like I know it's like I'm being haha funny But like I think like Genuinely In this scenario I would adapt Like the adrenaline and stuff Like I think I would Be able to do those things I think you would also be So fucking entertaining On a show like that Like I would love To see that Olivia is so funny I just want you to watch it It's so funny She's the Like

Completely unintentionally the most hilarious person I've ever fucking seen. And like also the editors on the challenge are hysterical. Like just you could tell they just started getting hooty with it at the end. No, I love that. So funny. And I...

Need something to live for So I think I'm gonna go Really crazy And really start training For the challenge And then I'm gonna Throw my phone Off a balcony I think it's so lit And I'm gonna disappear For three months I think it's so fucking lit I think you would kill it That's why I wanna go On Survivor

I would love to I don't think I could last on Survivor Because I like The challenge is sick Because like you still go to bed In a mansion every night Oh I guess that's true Except for the finale I also only ever imagined myself Like I've always said Survivor's my dream But I only imagined myself On Survivor single Because I would like Whore my way to the finale Oh showmance Like yeah just like You would have an amazing Social game I just don't I don't think that I could like Physically endure The conditions on Survivor Like that's I think that I could Handle the challenges Not really a puzzle girl

I don't think I could slay a puzzle. I love a puzzle. But I think like I don't like imagine just one night of like being freezing cold in the rain. Oh, bugs. You can't go on Survivor. I know. I was just thinking about like what I would have to do. I think I'd have to get like hypnotized against bugs because other than that, I would slay down. I heard hypnotism works. I should. I really should. My bug fear controls my life. You know this. I also beat Olivia Kaiser in a push-up competition one time. Stop saying that because I just know you didn't.

I on on God I'll insert the video Was she hammered I'll insert the video No and today I made her say it On the phone today To evidence Because So then you need to go On the challenge I did That's enough But she I mean she's obviously Just like way stronger than me In like literally every way But for some reason I beat her in a push up competition I think And there are witnesses Absolutely I think that would be So good for you

Like I really do. I do too. That or rehab. So. Or like, or like a retreat. I should say a retreat. I'm not on drugs. Yeah. Big difference. Seriously.

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Something huge happened last night. Absolutely massive and huge and insane and amazing. Trisha Paytas went on fucking SNL.

I just saw this fucking clip today. I just got chills, like actual full body chills. Multiple clips. There are multiple clips. She manifested this. She is the queen, the best in the world, I would venture to say, at like speaking things into existence. Like she has said literally on record, like I am going to be on SNL. I want to be on SNL. I want to host SNL. And last night, she not only was she on SNL, but she was on SNL as Trisha Paytas, which is like the fucking coolest thing in the entire world. So fucking iconic. And.

First of all, Paul Mezcal, who I would literally, I would do anything for you. I love you so much. I still don't know who that is, but now I have to. And with David Spade, who she loves more than anyone on this entire planet. I know, I saw. It's one thing to be the queen of manifestation and everyone is like supporting that. She has had so many fucking people tell her that she cannot do the things that she is doing to the point that she has lived almost in this belief. It's jaded her thoughts towards herself as well. And just to see her-

To see her achieve her dreams is like, I can't even like put it into words. Like I genuinely cannot even put it into words. It is so fucking beautiful and magical. And like, it is. And she deserves it. It's just amazing. It's one thing when someone is speaking words of inspiration, but her life story to me is so fucking inspiring to like,

Just girls. Just girls who don't get out the best cards and girls that society isn't the best to. And I'm just like, I can't even fucking believe. And I'm just imagining Moses like filming her. It just. Oh, my God. I literally I can't believe she.

She just stepped out And did it to you I feel like she's like that recently Or like At least like From my perspective It's like I have a podcast with her And I did not know She was going on this now Yeah like just randomly She'll pop out Doing the craziest thing And you're like Trisha how Like the Katy Perry music video 100 It's like how does she Have the time too It's like I'm just so fucking proud of her

Like I just feel like She's so hard working though I feel like Like obviously we talk about How like she's iconic and stuff Like all the time But like no one talks about How like she literally Like how does she have Enough hours in the day Like she By morning She's fucking Jasmine in Aladdin And then she's like Working in a tavern all day And then she puts out 17 episodes In At once Like Mm-hmm

She's really hardworking. No, it's insane. Working with her on like not Loveline has been so cool. Like she is Brittany, my manager and I were just talking about this. Like just like she's on the email. She's on her Zoom. Like it's like I just it's so crazy. I feel like I do have kind of a lot of people that like help me and do a lot of things for it. And like Brittany, my manager was saying that she'll just like see Trisha in her inbox every day. And she's like, what the fuck? Yeah, she doesn't have like a lot of like help, but she she doesn't.

and is the best mother in the world that's but i was gonna say i should two kids yeah which is crazy i feel like this is a good example of what i've tried to tell you before what's like i do think like having children like obviously you like feel a sense of purpose but like not even just like like your purpose is being a mother it's like all of a sudden you know exactly like what you want and like who you what direction you want to go in it is like that happened to her like i feel like like since having malibu like

Just everything. Like she's been so intentional with what she's done. I agree. I mean, I can't imagine like having a kid probably does just make you really fucking realize what is important and what's not. Even just with being with Makoa, I feel like I, it's made me realize in so many ways, like,

Just the amount before him, like just like the amount of side quests I was on. I don't mean people either. That makes me sound like a whore. No, but like I was thinking about this today because I was thinking like how it went so quickly like the one year. But I feel like he's just made you like, like he's shown like you're potentially, you always like, you were always capable of being sober for this long and you've always like had this like soft like feminine side. But he like brought it out of you, I feel like. That's really sweet. I couldn't agree more. I think it was really hard for me to say. I like really have a hard time saying nice things. Yeah.

I really do like feel that way. Like it's nuts. It's like you never want to feel like you're living for someone, but even with like the sobriety and just different stuff, like not only do I want to be the best version of myself for myself, but I now want to be the best version

Like girlfriend Wife Mother one day Like for someone else As well Like you know And it's It helps It's really fucking cool And it does yeah It's nuts You're right I can't imagine The next level Like having fucking kids And just Yeah It's crazy I feel like becoming a parent Makes you like super Makoa and I lately Have been having Really actually Serious definitive conversations About like when we want kids Which is kind of crazy

And it's looking like the 30s You just let me know Oh It's looking like the 31s and 2s I'm 28 And you know people will not let me forget that I'm almost 30 Yeah

It's like I want to say I'm 28 But like everyone's always like Pushing 30 So I'm pushing 30 And what's wrong with that? Everyone says your life starts in your 30s I think it does I think your 20s is all about Figuring things out And your 30s I'm assuming Is about the things you figured out Yeah and I like reject everybody I met before like age 21 So like 100% Mm-hmm

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fun sign up now at chumba casino.com sponsored by chumba casino no purchase necessary vgw group void were prohibited by law 18 plus terms and conditions apply something bad happened what happened they passed a tiktok ban in the united states i'm so fucking stoked it's so crazy that you say that because i'm happy about it too i wonder if we're happy about it for different reasons probably i'm just kidding sorry and that's

I did not mean that in the way that that came off. But you were exactly right. I did not mean that in the way that that came off. And you were not wrong. I used to not be. And like, listen to me, if you go through the Chick-fil-A drive-thru in a couple months and you see me asking you, you know, spicy deluxe or regular, mind your own damn business. Stolen joke, stolen dollar. James Charles.

I love stolen jokes, stolen valor. Stolen joke alert. We do not do that enough. I mean, career wise, but to me, it's just like there's going to be another app next week. You know what? If it happens. So it's like, it doesn't scare me in that way. For me, it's just like, I do feel like the brain rot is,

Like, oh, brain rot is a funny joke, but like, I am fucking dumber. I am walking around my house all day, suitcase, suitcase, suitcase. I like my suitcase, suitcase. Like, shut up. I'll tell you what it's- Get a fucking slower attention span, bitch. The most dangerous thing about-

That is that I felt all along that it was making me smarter. Like there, I have gone on record and said like, I have learned so much since having downloaded TikTok. But it's like, how many times have you guys heard me like speak something as absolute truth that is just completely made up? No, and it's like, I, it's cool that I know about Mudang, but I don't need to know about Mudang. Do you know what I mean? And it's just- Like we're focusing on the wrong things. It's, I think it's just too much-

Like... I was literally about to sit here and talk to you about like burr basket gate and like that nurse mom who's an awful mom. Like... And it's like... Yes, those things are being brought to our attention. So now we discuss them. I'm just imagining the amount... Like the terabyte of free space I could have up here without TikTok. Because it's just like... In time. Just time. Like watching one full YouTube video is now like so significantly better for your brain and attention span and focus and knowledge and... Like it's just...

I think that I would be a better, smarter person with a terabyte of free space. I think so too. I just, I'm grateful that like, because a lot of influencers that that's their primary, like an only big platform, you know what I mean? Like, or like pitch tick tockers or like people who like, like the beauty girls or stuff, like people who don't do long form content. Like I'm grateful that we have a podcast and stuff, but I would be like really freaking out. Honestly, if I was like, I think that that's about like belief and like,

I don't know like I guess self-belief because if you think about it even when vine died all of the people who were still yeah but like businesses depend on it like I do feel like a lot of people are gonna like take a hit from it it's true but I also think so much short form stuff will then just move to reels or shorts like yeah but like that's my biggest fear like please don't please don't put I don't want to be real I don't want to be reeled I don't

I don't want to be reeling. YouTube shorts or reels. My four U's are just so different, I guess, because I don't use them. So never mind. But I don't know. All I see is AI on Instagram reels. And the problem is I can't detect AI. So I'm like, oh, my God, look at this baby walking down the runway. You know what I mean? Like, I can't. I have no gauge for that. Like, I'm like a 50 year old or like 60, 80 year old woman.

I'm like that is so cute That that cat And that elephant Are getting along so well That purple ocean is gorgeous Yes Yeah I feel you Oh my god But like no I think TikTok being banned Would be more beneficial than not I think there are beneficial Aspects of it But I don't know I think just mental health Honestly that's like my actual thing Like I don't know if that's What you were alluding to before But like

TikTok is so scary Like It's crazy It's crazy for me To be able to like Open TikTok And then like Actually want to like Self harm Obviously as influencers Yes Like we're opening a vault To perception of us No I don't even just mean that But like things you see And like it's My Like at the drop of a dime Like I can My entire like Mental state can be changed I was just Literally that's what I was just gonna say Like the fact that it's like

A video that's going to make you sob And then a video that's going to make you want to buy something Yeah there's got to be like a weird substance style movie about that Yeah like it's Like you shouldn't be feeling that range of And just the way it has made Like I'm watching a movie and I'm like Can we get a base boost? Like

Like it's like my Yeah like you need Like someone making slime On the side Yes like I would Literally need Subway surfer Beside interstellar To enjoy it And that's pathetic I just I don't know It feels regressive And I'm Whatever There's just no long term Like psychological studies On like what short form Content is like doing to us You know what I mean Like I'm eager It's gotta be just

Sodomizing Why did I use that Are dopamine receptors See I don't know What that means Because they don't Tell me that on TikTok I think it's like Butt bad Bad butt stuff Oh It's got But it's just gotta be Bad for our dopamine receptors You know Well I'm not A TikToker Or an influencer anymore I'm an

Wait, how'd that go? Did you act? I've been on the side quest of a century and I don't know if I'm allowed to talk about it. My new bit lately has just been side quests for joy. I went and did a Kevin Lang video and I think like with all these, they're hilarious. If you've never watched Kevin Lang, he is so, this has nothing to do with me acting. I don't know.

Talk about whatever you want. You know what? That's the privilege of having a podcast. Make the equipment more expensive. I went and did a Kevin Lang video and he does Jubilee style videos. But like, guess the bald person and like they're all in morph suits type shit. Like it's so... And all the people on his panel are comedians, stand-up comedians. So it's actually so...

so fucking funny and it was like the funniest day of my life and I was like fuck I might just fuck around and start doing stand-up like I've just been on a serious side quest but anyways I talked about this in the last episode but something hit my inbox asking me to audition for something that I absolutely could not say no to and you know how I feel about acting I think if someone told me it's a mental block

It is a mental block. But like if someone said you need to make an album by the end of next week, like I would genuinely find that easier. You need to write a book in fucking, you know, like it's just I really find acting to be so fucking hard. And I get this role and it's funny. The role to me feels like...

Like I'm playing almost like Natalie Bowling. Like I'm very like wispy and everything I say is with serious conviction. Like no really there's an elephant in the other room. Like you know like that's like my vibe and like just the characters. It's so like not me. You know what I mean? And so I hire this acting coach and I'm like really trying to take this seriously. And it's so nuts to me that even because you wanted to act at one point. Yeah.

Yeah, it wasn't going well. But it's like even just memorizing pages of conversation, like the fact that you have to like know where your eyelines are and be listening to people and thinking about how you're reacting and your facial expressions and your hands and where they go. And I lose all ability to inflect my words. It is so fucking insane. The line could genuinely be like,

I'm Tana Mongeau and I have a podcast And I'm gonna be sitting here like I'm Tana Mongeau and I have a podcast But that's what I'm saying it's a mental block Because you are like you do it all the time Without knowing that you're acting But like because you know you're going into this And like thinking like Makoa went on this whole tangent to me Where he was like I watch you see people that you hate Every single day and you walk up to them Like they are your long lost cousin Okay I don't wow

Hey that's called Being nice That's Yes That's LA Okay obviously I have my people All around me That I fucking love But I'm just saying A lot of You know what I mean I don't fucking know Or just I'm always doing Something that I don't Want to be fucking doing And I have to act like I fucking love doing it And that's just It is what it is The live shows are acting

acting like I haven't heard this story before that's fair but just a lot of what I do like even just again going into a meeting and pretending to be really fucking excited about whatever I'm meeting about maybe it's like the last place on earth I want to be I don't fucking know whatever and all of my life is also about and always has been about performing on camera and giving this best funny side of myself on camera whether I'm feeling it or not like on days where I feel like shit I'm still gonna come on and

be in it and that's acting almost. It's the hardest thing in the world for me. And I've realized that the only way I can pull this shit off is by method acting.

Tana, wait, did you, I was literally the, I'm holding myself back from saying it because I'm so bad at like not cutting people off. But I wanted to say that, like, I feel like you should do what like Jim Carrey did. You'd have to like turn into the person because I feel like that's the issue is like, you're so good at being Tana Mongeau that like in order to become Sonic the Hedgehog, you would have to be Sonic the Hedgehog. Brooke? I was making Makoa call me my character's name. I'll bleep it, but her name is...

Okay. What the fuck? Like, and I'm walking around for days just like, do you think I'm going to be able to do this?

a latte like i really want a latte like we should oh i'm so happy to podcast like literally i walk into this audition and you know me like i'm very like fifa phone phone wait you physically had to go in and audition oh my god i can't pick were you so nervous i walk in i as a sociopath baby you know paige was like what the i get in paige's car and i'm like thanks for picking me up like how are you like just whole night i walk in i'm like i'm

just and you know this isn't like me at all I'm doing this to all the directors and pages watching me I'm like I'm just so nervous like I just can't believe I get to be here like I fully committed to the bit the whole way fucking through like I love that so much I'm like thank you so much like my voice never left this octave if like I just was like this honestly hired murderer I like when do you find out do you know already I don't know

I think I gave it my all And I still think I was kind of fucking shitty Did you see Maxine?

No. Yes. That's what I'm picturing. I'm picturing you going into that big warehouse right now and just sitting down and doing your monologue and getting out of there. That is so fucking funny. And you go to all the girls, don't bother. I crushed it. That's exactly what Ashley said. That's so funny. She was saying the exact same thing. I don't know. They kept following up with me. Like I couldn't do one of the days to audition and they were like, no, we've got to get her in. And they were following up. They probably had like good, like, I feel like you have a good shot at this. I just, I'm like, it's funny because I want to,

To get it... For like the other people... That are in this project... And like... I'm imagining the... The premiere... And the carpet... And like my friends all watching... I'm imagining all the pros... But when it comes to actually... Having to fucking do this... I hope I don't get it... I hope someone else who wants it... I think it also... No because like in the moment... It's not like...

You're not like on stage or something It's like it's very much like like this Like or like other things are going on And like no one's really paying attention What you're doing and like you can like Just drill through it like a billion times With like Paige or something and like you'll Just have it I literally don't even think I could with Paige like I think it would have to be Major acting coach and my memory I've really bad like but that's Goldfish brain but it's not goldfish brain It's like you're thinking of it I feel like as Acting and trust me I am no actress I'm like

No, but I appreciate that. But the difference, like, it's like if I were to read something in Spanish, like I don't speak Spanish, so I can't like memorize. It's way harder for me to memorize something. But if I understood what it said...

Like I could memorize it more easily. Like you're not paying attention. Like what the scene actually is. Versus like memorizing the words. I don't remember like the first like five years. Of like knowing Amari. Like you know what I mean. Like you're really underestimating my. Like how shitty my memory is. So it's really hard for me. Yeah. And I think that.

Everything that I've ever done, like for the most part, major big things like things as big as like acting in a movie or a show per se. Right. I've wanted and I think that it makes me like the feeling that I leave. Like even just after this audition, I was watching all the girls outside, like practicing their lines. And like, you know what I mean? Like it makes me want to cry thinking about it right now. It makes you really fucking sad.

Because it is the tale as old as time of an influencer being handed something that they do not deserve. Like even just on my way to the audition down the street, I'm thinking about people who fly across the fucking country for one fucking shot at this to get rejected 30,000 times to then like maybe one in 1,000 finally getting it. Like I don't want this and I don't deserve it and I shouldn't have it for that reason. Like it makes me like fucking sad. I don't think it means you don't deserve it. Like,

I don't know. Sometimes like this particular role, like knowing what I know about the role, like it calls for like you or like someone alike. You know what I mean? I agree. But even that, then I just still even an influencer who fucking wants it is better than me who's just taking it so I can serve.

Did the premiere like you know it's Like yeah yeah and maybe who knows I do Think everything happens for a reason Like maybe I'll fucking end up enjoying it And liking it and it's a whole different Life and it's met what's meant to be will I think you would do so well in it I feel Like there's so many things that I like Could have seen you in and it's just fun Like it you'd be nervous like the first Time you do it and then after that you're Just not anymore the same thing is like a Live show like a live show was terrifying For me the first time and then after That you've done it I know I guess I'm just Fucking passionate about performing for A crowd I think

You hit the nail on the head in the sense that I am. I'm so fucking like neck deep in being Tana Mongeau that it is really hard for me to like. And I've just always been passionate about things that do revolve around me.

I don't know My own personality And like acting Is such a talent I can't stress that enough And like I think that And the fact that people Do memorize all the lines And their eye lines And where their hands Are supposed to be Yeah it's like a gift And their blinking And their inflection And all of that And then a movie Will come out And then people Will still say That their acting Was so fucking horrible That shit is so hard It's so hard I think pole vaulting Is easier Trust me I was horrible And everybody knows it But like For example Like Amanda

Amanda Diaz lives next door and she like is constantly doing self tapes and so who has to self tape with her me okay so by the time I've fucking gone through this so many times I am Susie on the other end of this fucking scene you know what I mean so I've been practicing okay and I think I can play it it is I can't even stress it's

I think it's the hardest thing in the world. My hats go off, especially to just people who can really like... It's crazy. And like people who like take it there like with characters that are so unrealistic like... Like... Or become like such completely different people from like movie to movie. There are some actors who like always play like some version of themselves. Blake Lively says this. Like when she was doing like the press for It Ends With Us, like she was saying like she's always played like people similar enough to her like...

I almost feel like it would be fucking easier to be like... I'm trying to think of someone who's a good example who's played like... Like Reese Witherspoon is like... She's always going to be like a...

A cute like blonde bubbly Jennifer Coolidge Like Adam Sandler Yeah like people get typecast But there's some actors That are like actually Just completely transformative And they like become Completely different people I feel like Margot Robbie Leonardo DiCaprio Yeah Margot Robbie Is like amazing for it Like Tonya I Tonya versus Barbie Like it's crazy Yeah like that's insane I also just want to say

In my one week of side quest acting, fuck all the people who have some shit to say about like Austin, what's his name? Austin Butler. Becoming Elvis and Ariana Grande becoming Galinda. Like I'm already like, like just in my one week, I'm like, can I like, it's like if I actually end up doing this and I come back as a completely different person, I completely understand why you're like,

For 18 hours a day You're being someone else And then the other 12 You're just thinking about How tomorrow You have to go be That someone else again Yeah And commit to it Like no fucking wonder Austin But I would Baby Hunker hunker Burn in love I would think

I would think I was Elvis too. What the fuck? 100%. You don't have time to be Austin. I really, I get exactly. Honestly, I've experienced this in just regular life because of how often I've completely adopted my personality by accident and then just it stuck and that's why you guys have seen so many versions of me. It's just, I can't even believe. You know, this is my last night in this house and our last,

Podcast on the gray couch And I don't know So this Couch is coming But it's going in the movie room Okay so we can do like We can sit on this couch still But from All further episodes Will be from your house Yeah you guys won't see this again Yeah Which is kind of wild Because I feel like Yes we shot this podcast From many other places But this feels like We've been through the most

up here on this couch you know and just even just people like that girl on tour who like drew this oh that was so cute on like she drew this amount of couch and us sitting like this and i don't know i'm just thinking about all the fucking i don't know why in my mind the one thing i'm thinking about is like you want to be on the podcast alissa i don't know why that's coming to my mind oh my gosh just moment i literally talked to her yesterday um no way by accident i keep having this recurring dream that her and i like fist fight really

I am that angry. I'm still... I still feel... Really? I'm not that angry. You know what? It's different. It's personal. I'm feeling a lot less angry lately. Like, I feel like there's a lot of people I reamed into, like, a little too hard who I, like, probably, like, I should have re-evaluated my situations at that time. For the most part, I think...

I'm the opposite of you. Like, do you know what I mean? Like anytime I spoke up about someone on this podcast, I fucking meant what I said. I meant, I meant what I said, but I, sometimes I feel like I'm, I'm so emotional and like, I feel things so deeply that it was like, it was actually never that deep.

You know what I mean Like And there's people who Like I really Just cooked I think Okay I get what you're saying And it wasn't that deep I think anytime I was talking about a person I pretty much Like what I was feeling Like I still feel Well I feel like You usually like See things for exactly As they are And I see things for What they are Absolutely not That's fair

And like I don't know Alyssa Alyssa was just personal And years of feeling a type of way And like whatever so that's a personal I do you know which one I have been thinking about a lot lately though That I think I would do differently is Brittany Broski Like I Yeah I saw her at the Gladiator premiere And I like wanted to be like oh my god I'm such a big fan But then I was like oh she hates you I think that And by you I mean me like I don't mean you I mean I think I was just personally offended By the way that that text was worded But now hindsight 2020 like

No shit. Brittany Broski doesn't want to come on the fucking canceled podcast. And she was really ahead of her time. Let her cook.

I obviously still should have never said the the wine lady's name but that's that's really it for me that was pretty bad I think I just I think I just wish I could have turned the volume down on myself for a couple things do you know what I'm saying like so that's so so so fair like I wish like I Zach saying shouldn't have been so loud you know what I mean Matt right shouldn't have been so loud

Clinton Cain, turn it up. Well, that's just, that's you, sweetie. You feel zero or a hundred, you know? I know. And that's my bad, but you know what? I'm slaying this medication journey. Contrary to popular belief. Your medicine is the best thing that ever happened, ever, ever happened. And I love you so much for it. Like slate down. Feeling amazing. Have you ever been to the Rose Bowl? No.

No. I went to the Rose Bowl this morning. You've been doing a lot of like jingle ball, Rose Bowl. I know. I thought the Rose Bowl was a football game. Me too. Imagine my dismay when I got there and it was a flea market. Like I'm imagining it in an arena. It was. It's an arena, but it's like a it's a flea market.

In the arena So it's like That's just enormous And it's so huge But they have just The coolest stuff Like you would have The best day ever But I regret not Bringing my wagon Because you need a wagon If you're gonna get Things there Because it's like What are you gonna Carry like a coffee Table around Like

Where is it? In Pasadena? It's in Pasadena It's at the Rose Bowl I always say I live in LA But it's like I just go to the same six places Well I didn't even know what it was Apparently everybody knows about it I feel like you're always just doing something You're always on like a side quest in LA though Like you really make the most of living in LA Well I have a lot Most of my best friends here are from LA So they like Oh so they like take you to things that are not as like Yeah or just They just like know where to go or like everything But

There were so many like just funny things. Oh, by the way, what made me think of it is because I was looking for my lip gloss a second ago. Tell me why I have this Wells Fargo belt that I got today. What do you mean? Well, it's a belt with a Wells Fargo. I really need that since everyone thinks I'm a fucking bank.

You do With this house Just every day I'm just swipealicious galore And everything costs $17,000 I don't know if you knew But when you're buying a house Everything costs $17,000 Yeah you don't realize How many things You have to pay for too When you buy a house Everything costs $17,000 When you're buying a house Everything That's so crazy

Although Everything needs insurance By the way Why does the grass Need insurance I trust That the grass Will be fine I trust You shouldn't We're in LA There's droughts You know I know No there's There's drought insurance There's fire insurance There's gutters There's

It is hard but once I'm telling you right now Once the dust settles You're going to be so grateful Sitting in your house and knowing I still have this money Except it's in the shape of a bathtub I do completely agree I think it's finally The way I process emotion is so different Like I'm just now being like Wow I bought a house

I'm so happy for you. It's crazy. I've been wanting you to do this literally since the day we met. I just want to say though to every single person who said to me like you are so fucking stupid. You haven't bought property. It's so easy. Suck me. That visual was worse than the orange. It is the hardest thing I've ever done. It is the hardest process. I think that it's the tale as old as time that I always say that I have amazing luck but horrible luck like where like...

I'm so lucky I can buy a house. But like every single thing that's going to go wrong is going to go wrong. Like everything that can go wrong will go wrong. That's Murphy's Law. In the final... I don't even know if I want to like go into this, but in the final days, in the final days... And I just want to let you guys know as well when I say like it's so hard. The anxiety of being in escrow is...

some of the most heightened anxiety. Like, it's like you put your, all your money on the table, you know what I mean? And it's just like, you're waiting for this to close and it to be yours. You don't have a move-in date, like when you have a lease. That's so horrifying. Like, I don't know when. Just, let me just, I don't fucking know. Sure, just whenever. Everything falls through to the point that I think after months of touring houses, after finally finding the one, after,

the escrow being done, like everything. People say don't fall in love with the house till, you know what I mean? Till it's like, you can't back out, right? And so I'm in this stage now where I can't back out. And like the worst case scenario happens to me where like I can lose this house, right? And I'm just sobbing every day. I'm on the phone for fucking like 18 hours a day. And the reasoning was because four years ago I bought someone a car, right?

And I know how crazy is that? Just a good deed. I still stand on it. I love her. No good deed goes unpunished. She didn't even do anything wrong either. Like I don't even want people to like go find her, reach out or anything because it's just like I bought her a car and I love her so much. And now like...

You know, she doesn't work with me anymore. She's still one of my best friends. She didn't do anything wrong either. Like, she would never hurt me or fuck me over in any way of her... If there was a gun to her head and it was like, fuck Tana over, she would die. Like, and I know that. I believe... You know that. Like, you know? And just the car... She ended up totally in the car. And it somehow affected me so horribly. And then the people that I pay to...

Be on top of these things. Missed it. Had a vacation for 10 months while it just sat and fucked me every fucking month. And so then the owner of this house who's selling it to me is like, hey, fuck you. Close. Yeah. I have someone waiting with me.

With cash. More cash. No. More cash. Who killed them? More cash than you. More cash. Waiting to buy this house right fucking now. I'm like, who has more cash than you? Someone. And so then I have to start paying the owner of this house $15,000 a day on top of the purchase price until I can do it for like weeks. Like just...

I'm so happy it's done. But to everyone, it's just so crazy that I was 21 and people were being like, why haven't you bought a house yet? I wasn't smart enough. Like, I don't. Well, I also there's an element to it, too, where this is like a different house buying process than like like the average Joe, because it's a big, huge, enormous mansion. I don't. But I don't. It's like Jake Paul bought a ten million dollar house when he was like 18. I don't really. But I just think I don't know. Like.

Even Bella Thorne I'm trying to think of all the people I know Who just bought houses and it was so easy for them But for me and my circumstances I'm so happy I waited I also would have bought a house in the shape of a flower You know That's the worst thing about life in general Is taste changing That's how I fear for that in relationships I fear for that in everything Because if I still wanted what I wanted five years ago

Like I don't. Of course I don't. I'm so happy I didn't. So it's like how can you commit to anything? Even just now all the houses like I don't know if I've said this but like the house that I'm buying like I'm not madly in love with. Like I bought I'm buying the thing that is the best investment. It's going to be amazing. The houses I love. I'm madly in love with it and that's what really matters. That's true. The houses that I loved though like all I fell in love with this house. I still think about it but it was a horrible investment. And like

I'm just thinking about what I would have bought in those eras. And it's like, I'm so glad I didn't. I don't know. Well, I'm excited for our little new chapter. Hopefully we have a set. I feel like it's going to, it just marks like the start. This is the end of my life as I knew it, I think in a lot of ways and it's good.

It's a very It's the newest chapter I feel like I felt Since I moved to LA So I'm I'm very excited for you Yeah And what perfect timing With your one year Like it's just perfect It really It really like it does I feel this chapter It's great But I wanted to talk shit About that mom Who won't buy her Kid a winter coat I have so much To fucking say I feel like we should Do that on Patreon Stupid bitch We should do it on Patreon We should go over To the Patreon Because I do I have a lot of other topics Sorry I need to check on my cat I'm sorry

I also think I'm losing my mind and or a psychic. Like I'm either schizophrenic or psychic and there's no in between. I'm sorry. Hold on one second. The meadow we can build a snowman. All right, guys, we're going to head on over to the Patreon because there are like nine people on my for you page that I need to talk shit about. For sure. And we love you so, so, so very much. Happy holiday season. The weather outside is frightful. The fire is so delightful. Get me off this fucking mic. Seriously. Love you.

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