cover of episode 110: BRUNO MARS TOOK TANA’S PHONE AT A GRAMMY PARTY - Ep. 110

110: BRUNO MARS TOOK TANA’S PHONE AT A GRAMMY PARTY - Ep. 110

2025/2/16
logo of podcast Cancelled with Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield

Cancelled with Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield

AI Deep Dive AI Chapters Transcript
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Tana Mongeau: 我觉得这个工作室闹鬼。上次我来这里参加“取消奖”时,我感到非常焦虑,甚至在Patreon上详细描述了当时的情况。每次我走进这栋楼,都感觉自己像是灵媒附身,总觉得有什么不对劲。 Brooke Schofield: 我觉得你可能只是焦虑而已。上次你喝了一大杯咖啡,也许是咖啡因过量导致了你的恐慌症发作。我不相信闹鬼这种事情。

Deep Dive

Chapters
This chapter covers the Grammy Awards, focusing on unusual moments and noteworthy events, including an analysis of Bianca Censori's attire and the aftermath of the event.
  • Olivia and Sabrina's hug
  • Bianca Censori's attire at the Grammys
  • Kanye's uninvited presence
  • Taylor Swift's dancing
  • Beyonce's win
  • Chapel Roan's speech

Shownotes Transcript

Translations:
中文

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Hello and welcome back to the Cancelled Podcast. I can't stop with the ooh. It's so you. Hello. Okay, can I say something? Sure. So I think this studio is haunted.

You were saying that, but I think it's possible you just have anxiety. And that's actually probably exactly what it is. But last time I came here, I was having a panic attack during the canceled awards. I unpacked it on the Patreon afterwards, but I was like really losing my mind. I had to, you know, medicate and like come back for no reason. And just whenever I walk in this building, I feel like the Long Island medium. I feel like. Okay. I don't want to be a skeptic, but. Mm-hmm.

Could it have been a caffeine overdose? That day? Maybe. You had a big gulp this high in hand. That's my SOTY.

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Yeah, I do. I don't believe in it. Well, so I also, I have had no caffeine today. That's why I'm a little low energy. I think a little calmer. That's a lie. I had a Yerba, but no coffee. Yerba has more caffeine than like three Celsius. Remember that one time I like, a Yerba like took me to Mars one time. Really? I had no idea. It's because you can, it like, it's so, it's not like carbonated. So you can drink it so quickly. And it's like, it's like a, like a lemonade, like a charged lemonade. No.

No way. Like, no, it's not. I just made that up. Because in my head today, I was like thinking I was having like a green tea. No, it has less. It technically does have less than Celsius because I looked into it. I was like, this is literally crack. But I think it's because you can literally drink it like so fast. If you're comparing it to the Charged Lemonade though, wow, I might get really addicted to them. For a second there, I was like Charged Lemonade's number one customer. It was like I was doing like, it was like a bomb. Yeah, you were having fun. But I did exactly what I like did that time we tried it for the first time today. I drank a Celsius like twice.

after already having drank a coffee and I had to hang my head out the window. I had Uber everywhere all day today. - Why'd you have to Uber? - 'Cause my garage is broken. - Oh, slay. I love the head out the window moment. But so I shot up Manjaro, right?

And this is sincerely and obviously every single time I've ever talked about this, I've prefaced it with that. I use these Hollywood concierge services. No, I don't think there's even a shortage anymore. I don't think like I don't think you have to even explain yourself. OK, because I've said it a million times like this. These vials are never going to, you know, like, yeah, anybody. We're going to Nick Vile, you know. OK.

That was good. Stray, though. Just leave Nick Viall alone. And this is the biggest public service announcement to the whole wide world to never, ever, ever do it. I have been...

dying this week. Like, dying. Like, crawling on the floor. Enough, like, Zofran for breakfast every single day. So fucking nauseous. Gripping the walls. Like, I don't want to get into the bowels, but they are not regular. They are not regular. They're not okay. Or too regular. And, like, I slept for, like, and I like to sleep for 12 hours now and again, but not more than two days in a row. Like, I really have been... Can we fact check that, Erin? I promise. And...

I just, and I think I have osteoporosis now because of it. Like I'm serious. It's like, what are your symptoms? My knee keeps locking in and out of place and I have new cracks. I have cracks, but that affects your osteoporosis is you're holding your bones.

But we know I spread misinformation all day long. So I could have made that up. I don't know what's going on. I just know that I should not have done that. And like, it's just like anything that's a quick fix. Like obviously anything that's a quick fix, it works. Well, are you feeling...

I lost like six pounds in two days and like was just really enjoying eating my proteins and stuff. But I'm also, I am done with it. I don't think I'll ever do it again because it's like the way I felt all week has truly been like, I had two days off luckily. Like had I had work or had to do anything during those days, I would have had to quite literally cancel. I don't know. It's just, it's like vaping. I say that as I'm about to hit a vape, but obviously doing anything where you don't know the side effects of 10 years of it is horrifying. And yeah,

Slay. It is holes in the bones. Slay nursing major. And I'm trying to become a gym girly. I've been working out and I've been doing... I just want to build healthier habits. I think now that we've got the alcohol and the relationships unhealthy, I think that my next thing... Because we were... We had a meeting, you and me, in Beverly Hills last week. And...

I'm on my way to this meeting and I had to stop two times and I'm talking, I'm sitting at the wheel of like, I'm sitting with Paige at the wheel and I'm like, pull over now, pull over now. Like I'm going to explode. Like that's embarrassing. And then it's like, it happens again. And then I'm late to the meeting. And then the meeting, I kept leaving to have to go do it again. And Greg Goodfrey looks me dead in the eyes and he says, Tana, what did you eat last night? And I have to look this grown man, my colleague in the eyes and

and say Burger King. Burger King. Okay? No, but I was getting all the sides, all the poppers, all the cheese, all the whiz, all the MSG. Poppers. Jalapeno poppers. Like, they have churro fries. Why are you having churro fries and regular fries? This, I have to stop doing that. And it really is. It's like, I know all the like Liv Schmidt girlies and the fucking Anno crazies and stuff. I'm not trying to say that, but I do just see sometimes it's like,

I'm not a dog. I'm not a beagle mix. Like stop rewarding yourself with pizza. Like that's, I just need to change my relationships and I should be eating for nourishment. I'm just, it's like, I'm over it. It's the grownup realization that like I never wanted to have, but like, oh no, like taking care of your body, like actually does have benefits.

And it really matters. And God, like it sucks to start. But once you're in it, it's like, oh my God, I feel, I literally could run a marathon. And the last thing I want to be is 40 and looking back at like 26. And it's like, you're shooting up Manjaro and snorting Burger King zesty sauce. And like, it's the healthiest time of your life. Like you should appreciate it. I think I needed a will to live to feel this way. So now that I got that under my belt, you know, I don't know though. Yeah. It's just, it's been a rough week and it's like,

You literally watched the substance, Tana. Like, what do you do?

Well, listen, all that really matters is you're in the healthy mindset. So eliminate Manjaro and keep it pushing. Absolutely. And you'll be amazing. I'm so proud of you. Yeah, it's just, it's not the vibes. It's really not. And it's like, I felt so amazing too. And then I shot it up and then I've been like crawling on the ground like Demi Moore, actually like having to feed a limp version of me, feed Alex Earl in the closet. It's actually funny you say that because did you see that I got the substance finger this week? Yeah, what happened? I don't know.

I literally was driving and I don't know what I did. I was doing a little dancing and I literally looked like this and my whole finger was purple. No, I think I injected enough that maybe you were catching it in the air around me. Like I thought I was Jared from Subway. I was going to have the pants. I'm done, dude. I'm fucking done. Should we talk about the Grammys? Yes, absolutely. We should talk about the Grammys. It was so exciting. I actually didn't watch the Grammys.

I watched like half of it and then I decided to go out. I know like the important things like Olivia and Sabrina hugged. Olivia and Sabrina hugged. Imagine you told us on the gray couch two years ago that there would be harmony like this. Like I'm just, I'm so happy, obviously. You always hate to see.

Two women pit against, hello? Pitted against one another. Yeah, I agree. I feel like they probably like worked it out in the remix like three years ago and just let it ride. I would love to see like a collab song now. I would love to see. Well, I was thinking about it the other day because I was like, I was really like explaining like all the lore behind like Driver's License and then Skin, like the original one and then because I liked a boy, like her actual, like the real response. Her OG hits. And how it was actually just so mutually beneficial. Like,

Like, you know what I mean? As Sabrina, of course, like, frustrating in the moment, but also, like, so much attention. Yeah, she said, I am that blonde girl. And he was with me. All because I liked a boy. And it was just such a crazy time. They're both so talented, so I love to see it. What did she say? I'm too late to be your first love, but I'll always be your favorite. I'm sorry, Fire Olivia. Yeah.

Slitting down the stream. I would have snatched her by her bangs. Yeah, that's actually wild. I'm happy though that they could like work it out on the remix. I want to talk about Bianca Sensori. My immediate thoughts upon seeing it were much more lighthearted, right? Okay. First of all, it's just like, what is she getting out of this? You know, like that is crazy. Like,

Like so and then to find out that they weren't invited is just diabolical. Like I guess if I was Kanye West, though, like I would use my face card, too, and just like go places. She's so beautiful. But then the more I started to think about it, like psychologically, it's got to be one of two things. OK, maybe she's got this crazy. I'm just imagining you like discharge, too, though. What what have you started your period?

Maybe she has like a tampon shoved because like, have you ever like- A diva cup. The diva cup is all the rage. Imagine that feeling though, like clit out on the Grammy's carpet. First of all, I couldn't. I just simply couldn't. It would be-

There would be friction. It would be horrible. No, I don't even like wearing... Girls who go commando, girls who go commando in jeans, you are fucking like American psycho. Like, I don't even like feeling my lips go like... No, I mean... It's crazy. I actually told you about an instance I had of this the other day. I had to leave the Grove because I was having...

I was having such a labia issue. I'm not even like, I'm not even being funny. And like, again, like with the oversharing, like this is just as bad as talking about shitting ourselves. But like, I'm not kidding. There was nothing that could be done. Like I had to just literally go home, go to sleep and start again the next day. No, I'm not. Sometimes a real chafe happens. Like I feel you, like things just aren't. I was sitting on it. It was like, it was a mess. That's what I'm saying. Like, it's just, I can't actually imagine that feeling even just like whatever. So anyways, though,

It's either a kink or she is in such an emotionally abusive situation or she's into the weird. They have some artsy vision that we don't. Did you see him post her dress after? And it's like quite literally just like a stocking. And he's like one of one. And it's like you took a tweezer man to Hanes. Like, what do you mean? One of one store that that you can find it again. Yeah. Like,

Like make some 350s again. Well, but are we like in saying that it's like a big power imbalance and like she's being held hostage, are we like reducing her to like just a girl? Like what if she's like, I have the fattest tits of all time. My body is insane. I look so amazing. Let me go naked. And he's like, sure. Yeah, this is liberating and they're on an art kick and an art journey together. But even just like-

with him standing there fully clothed like with her then it's like yeah I want to see him in that sheer stocking okay when you go outside exactly like if it was more liberating like I'd be more solo in my head

And then it's like I saw someone to say that even like a bush and armpit hair would change up the whole message. A bush would have. Well, honestly, a bush would have brought it back to Julia Fox. I feel like she would have slayed the bush. Not that I think Julia Fox has a bush, but I think that she would get behind the bush movement. I 100 percent agree with that. I also just imagine being Julia and Kim and being like like imagine Kim Kardashian seeing that for the first time on her phone. Also, just on a sad note, like what about like North America?

I don't know. She's a visionary. I think she probably sees the vision that like she sees something we don't. I just. And you're right. Like it is fucked to immediately diminish Bianca.

by writing it off as this abusive thing. But to me, it just doesn't feel, I don't know, it doesn't feel good. It doesn't feel right and it doesn't feel, and Kanye obviously is notoriously quite controlling and controlling of his partner's images. And he wants to choose the clothes. Yeah, so then it's like,

Why was she barefoot at Disneyland? It's so crazy. I was just about to say that. I was going to say what really got me going was when she was in Star Wars land with no fucking souls on her feet. But what changed my mind was I just saw from the other night a video of her having the time of her life in the club, laughing. And I'm like, oh my God. It is nice to see her emote. It makes it feel less. That's what I think is so eerie about it all is that she's always just...

Yeah, like just looking like, help me, please. But I don't know. It just still doesn't sit right with me. I think she's like one thing away from hitting like the help me hand. Like, I don't know. I don't like it. It's crazy as fuck that they were uninvited. Like what type of manic? And he's definitely like teetering the line of manic. Like he was only following Taylor Swift. He posted this on his story too. Like...

She beat the Grammy winner's search on Google Trends. I mean, they're doing something right, though. Like, that's the thing. Like, OK, yes. Like, we can all go down the rabbit hole of if you have your fucking pussy lip out on the Grammy's carpet, you're going to be more searched than like Teddy Swim's win. You know, like, obviously. But like, and I have this. I'm honestly, when I was seeing it, I was like, I'm surprised I never did this. Like, I did have an arrow where, you know. I would do it these days. Yeah.

I feel like, I don't know, it's kind of camp. It's crazy because if she were alone, I think the conversation would be entirely different. It's just, you know, the Kanye would always find it interesting. I get what you're saying, but maybe she's just like, she's going home and laying on a pile of money and she's just like, oh my God, as soon as I get out of this. Ha ha ha ha.

I'm going to serve. That is fair. I want to see her like pop out with just like the loudest personality ever. You know what I mean? Because like we don't have anything from her so far. Yes. Yeah, that's the thing. I would love to know more about her. And I am just hoping and praying that they're just on some fucking weird visionary shit that like we don't see.

But I'm scared. I'm crossing my fingers like this that we get another Julia Fox on her. Like, not that there would ever be another Julia, but like we got Julia out of that man. Yeah, I guess that's true. Like he did popularize her. She was Julia long before Kanye. Yeah, we got. I knew of her because of Kanye. Yes, I agree with that actually completely. He tweeted Trump's back in office. Yay's back a billionaire. The world just might be OK. Was he not a billionaire? Yeah.

I think he wasn't. He tweeted, the world is so lucky to have me. Me when I have a good spray tan. Like, you know, calling ex-Twitter is like calling yay Kanye. I don't want to hear nobody call Twitter, Twitter. I mean, ex. Don't call ex-Twitter. Do you think Elon paid him to say that? I don't know.

I speak in third person from now on. This is not a clone or is it? This emoji. I really liked that one. That's going to be my next cop out when I do some dumb shit. I just would love to be in that Kardashian group chat. What else happened?

Nikki Glaser looked amazing. Benson Boone slayed the vocals. I shouldn't say got to. She pulled off Benson's little outfit. I loved that her and Heidi Klum doing that. He slayed. I love his little flips and his little Elvis suits. I love when Benson flips around. So much. I loved all of it. I think him like messing with his junk being a moment was funny. I didn't see that. I need to put the phone down. Oh.

They made a Hawk to a coin joke at the Grammys. Oh my God. I forgot to text you back about that. Do you have, can you tell me what it was? I think it was saying, I dead ass think, and I could completely be making this up, but I think that he was saying you can donate any form of money except for Hawk to a coin. And then it just cuts directly to Taylor Swift. I was like, what kind of like scary movie for shit is this? Like that doesn't feel like a real timeline. Yeah.

So funny, but also I feel so bad for her. A hawk to a. Yeah. Me too. I mean, we've unpacked that like so much. But just like imagine you're, she's just minding her business like at home quietly. She puts on the Grammys and she's like, fuck. Well, I feel like, no, I think that's.

Not if everyone in the world is accusing you of literally an insane rug pull. Extreme half a billion dollar scheme. That's one good thing out of it though. Like a Grammy's mention. Worldwide notoriety. Think about how much that costs. What if they got on there and they were like,

Well, I guess there's nothing you could really say about you that would upset you. They could say anything and I'd be like, yes. Half the people in that room probably hate me anyway. I'm trying to think of anything else that happened at the Grammys. Taylor Swift when Kendrick won his award and she did the stanky leg.

Most important moment. I love that she stands up and dances, though. Me too. I love that she just does not give a thought. Like, she does not... Like, during Sabrina's, how everyone was sitting, like, boring, boring Hollywood drone. Like, Taylor was up dancing, vibing, supporting Sabrina. Like, imagine being Sabrina and looking out and the only person standing up is Taylor Swift dancing. Like, that's... I love that she's so...

She's so free and so, you know, she's serving. I don't want to piss off the Bay Hive. I love Billie and I love Taylor so much. I really honestly thought Billie was going to take it home. And am I just so lost in Billie world that it doesn't make sense to me? Am I so lost in tortured poets world that it doesn't make sense to me? I saw something that said that Birds of a Feather was streamed more as a singular song than that entire album was combined. Yes.

But that could have been made up. I just, I don't know. It's kind of crazy, too, like, had you told me before the Grammys that, like, Billie and Taylor would, like, not win anything, go home empty-handed. I just can't believe it. I don't know. Well, again, I don't know who won what. I know Beyonce won Best Country Album. Mm-hmm.

That had to hurt some feelings. And it's... I wanted her so badly, too, to, like, just play into the joke. Like, imagine Beyonce herself was up there and she was like, and by the way, I need to thank Beyonce. You know? Like, I just almost...

I guess they can't play into that shit because it's like some serious Illuminati allegations. But even last year, how Jay-Z kind of made a speech and I forget his exact speech and I don't want to misquote it and like spread misinformation towards that. But the air of his speech was kind of like, we do a lot for you. Like my punch card is stamped. Like, you know what I mean?

It was basically like, how is it that she's won every award, been nominated for Album of the Year four or five times and never won it? Okay, exactly. So it's like Jay-Z is sitting up there essentially saying the year before that Beyonce's never won Album of the Year. Now she wins. Maybe they were afraid that the Carters would never come back if she didn't win this year. They can't lose them.

I just... Not saying she didn't deserve it. No, I know. And that's the thing, too, is it sucks that it's, like, a pitting women against each other situation because, obviously, everyone in the category is so talented. I was just very surprised. Someone's got to lose it, though. You know what I mean? Yeah, I guess that's true. And, like, if it weren't... If Billie won, Beyonce would have lost an award, which is, like, also, like...

could be crazy. Like, Beyonce lost. Yeah, I guess that's true. I loved Chapel Roan. I love her so much. She's so... The Grammys felt like we were in a different timeline for a second there, too. Like, it was just nice hearing Gaga and Chapel Roan, like, speak up for trans rights and just all of it. Like, it was...

It made me really happy. I loved Chapel. Even just using, like, going up there. Imagine you win a Grammy and you go up there in front of all those fucking people and you call out all the label heads for mistreating their artists. It's so bold because, you know, they're all just sitting there like, oops. I would need all of the Gabba Penton in the Los Angeles area. Like, after that. Like, imagine walking off stage and being like, oh my God. Like, that's so bold and iconic. It's so cool.

And she just does, like, I would do anything to have whatever she has that makes her just, like, literally fuck you guys. Yeah, I'm going to say what's on my mind. And it's just awesome. Chapel Roan to me feels like the future. And she's just everything. I loved the Grammys. I was obsessed. I went out afterwards. You did. So did I. And yeah, we were both out. I wish I knew that. We would have, like, had a moment. I thought you were coming. I was so excited the whole time I was waiting for you to walk through those doors. And I almost wish I did. So you were at Steven Tyler's.

Grammy viewing and then after party? Yeah, well, it's a Janie's Fund auction. It's for like the organization that he works with. But it's like a huge live auction that goes on for like eight hours. And then afterward, they have like everyone perform. They had Steven Tyler, Billy Idol, Joan Jett, Marcus King, who you know is like my literal favorite artist in the world. It was just the most insane thing ever. I was like, no one would believe me. Yeah, I made a mistake. I think I would have...

Maybe caught a vibe even more had I been at some more, more of an old Hollywood vibe because that is like the vibe that you want to capture going out is like seeing iconic people. I literally went to Bruno Mars' party and he performed. I don't know what I'm saying actually. Don't sleep on Bruno Mars. I fuck so hard with Bruno Mars. I love him. He just made a joke about how like, I'll be out of debt in no time. I love him.

Did you see that? I was literally in my head thinking about all night. Like if I ended up running into him and we talked, it'd be like, look, I have a gambling problem too. It wasn't real. He's not really in debt with the casino. That was a rumor. You know what's funny is I know that and I like refuse to subscribe because it makes me feel better. Anyways, I think I would love that rumor being spread about me because it's like, oh my God, you guys think I have $12 million? Yeah, you're right. It is. It is a rumor. Yeah, I went to his party. It's the first party I've been to in Los Angeles.

Maybe ever or at least in a really long time where they took our phones, put them in the lockable pouches and like didn't have a phone. Who was there that they needed to lock phones up for? So allow me to get into that in a second, okay? After all the ditty shit, I'm like, we're locking phones in 2025. But then I start thinking about myself, you know, having an issue with phones being locked. And then I realize I am quite literally the poster child for,

for why they have to lock phones away. Yes. Like I am literally Bruno Mars' biggest fear. Like me with TikTok open. It doesn't matter so long as you have what's up here and now you're about to share with us what happened anyway. Well, he was... There was a moment where he was playing the bongos and he's just so cute. I was like, fuck, I would have made a TikTok of this. Y'all are so right for locking my phone. No, it was really interesting. I don't know...

So I got like coerced into going out. Everyone was like, come to this party. We'll go to Charlie XCX's like Lady Gaga is going to be at Bruno Mars is like yada yada. And then I get to this party and the most important people in the room are David Dobrik and Zach Bia. Okay. And I'm like, David Dobrik, who is not my favorite person on the internet, by the way.

I think I should just go ahead and say that I am not a David Dobrik super fan. Yeah, that's good. Get that one in there. It's funny, the promoter who was putting it on was like texting me before and was like, I was going to invite David. Do you still want me to? And then I like said no. And then I was like, actually invite him. Like, I just want to see like what happens. Like I was trying to purposefully trying to like gather lore. Yeah, it was just interesting to me. I was like, I didn't know what Bruno's goal was. Like he was just like singing on stage the whole time. And it was like a lot of influencers. And I was just like, you know.

Really funny concept to throw a party like for people to come watch you sing. Yeah, that's it was just it was very much that. And then everyone too was in like wife beaters and like mini skirts and jeans. And I'm in like a floor length bedazzled see-through gown. And I was like, I'm just not at the right place.

You know, so I should have been, I should have been dream on. Well, I went to the dream on party and last year it was different than this. Like last year. So it's like, it's an auction. So you buy tables and stuff. And if they don't sell the tables, then they like, that's when they start inviting people in. Last year, there were a lot of influencers there and like, honestly, low key hookers, which,

Nothing wrong with that at all, but I got to dress accordingly last year. I went in a full sheer nude dress. So this year I was like, oh, let me go ahead and dress like a hooker again. Not a single person below 30 in sight. And I absolutely looked...

People were staring at me like, this is for charity. Brooke, this exactly happened to me at Seth MacFarlane's Christmas party. I'm like, oh my God. And I almost wore some whore ass dress. And in the final moments I changed and I had like the Sabrina Carpenter heart cut out, like under boob, like nipple ring peeking through. And I get there and everyone is in like moomoo's. Like, and just like the dirty looks. I literally received like 50 dirty looks. It's the worst feeling in the world to be like,

The whore's here. It is. I was like this the whole time. And I'm just like, oh my God, what was I even thinking? Like, yes, Brooke, it's a charity event for like women too, which I was like, God, you are a disgrace. No, but listen, Bianca Sensori set the tone though. I was in a black G-string under my dress. And I'm not going to lie, it was a hit. It was a hit. And I was honestly doing that thing where, you know, when you're like in the movies or

My number one goal in life is to be picked out of a crowd, right? So imagine Steven Tyler on stage, dream on, and I'm in the crowd just trying to get the light to catch my face right. Tits out, mewing.

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Do you know the CEO of Bucky's son was charged with all these actual crimes for putting secret cameras in the Bucky's bathrooms? That checks out. Completely checks out. That doesn't shock me. I feel like I've done some really embarrassing shit in a Bucky's. I just had to tell you that. Do you remember that time of life where the egg was famous?

Do you remember like... Yes, the Instagram egg. Yes, and they made the account for just an egg and it got to like a million followers and then like FaZe Banks would bring the egg out to the club and like everyone would line up to take photos with the egg. I hate that we were a part of that. No, I thought about that the other day because I've really just been reflecting on my partying era and obviously just getting ready more and more too to just expose it more, book and just life and everything. And I was thinking about...

Like we really lived in LA and we'd be like, oh my God, the Instagram egg is throwing a party tonight. And then we'd like go and like the egg would have signs being, it was an egg. It was just like a, egg lens vest. That was a dark time. Like we were going to like Warwick and like Poppy. And like, I was so excited to see that guy with that long neck. The long neck guy was always there. Yes. We got to put in his photo. Him, we had ghosts of the gram who like just went out in a mask every night. The club scene was just like, what were we doing? Yeah.

No, and I thought it was the most fun thing in the world. I like recently got invited to a birthday party and it was in Silver Lake and I drive like 30 minutes and I get there and it was Alexander's birthday party. And normally I feel like he has like... How dare he not invite me, by the way? He didn't personally invite me. So I get there and he's throwing like a red solo cup Project X Rager. And I'm like...

But in the past, he's thrown very intimate parties where you get to talk and vibe. And it's out of venue. And I was like, what did I sign up for? I walk in and it's like, I don't even want to say the people I saw hammered because it's just rude. There's no need to be rude. No, I can infer because last party I went to of his, I was like, what are all these people doing here? And it's the most random crossover. But it feels like the Grammys. Yes. I'm like, wait. Yes. Sabrina, what are you doing? Yes. No, Sabrina, but... But...

I was there and I just like my heels are poking in the grass and like Soulja Boy is playing and like beer is getting spilled on me and I'm like having a conversation with Dixie D'Amelio in the corner and I'm having to yell at the top of my lungs to like tell her things and like whatever I'm like

I just like left and I was like, I used to live for this shit. Live for this shit. And what changed? Dude. And it's like now it's like for me, I think it is being sober, but it's like it's so crazy. Like we'd be blacked out. Everyone ever is doing blow. Sleep all day the next day. Wake up and do it again and then again and then again and then again.

living for it's like now I'm so excited to have like a Saturday like that life to me now is so sad yeah but I don't I honestly I don't think it is your sobriety because like I'm not sober and I feel like what the fuck I don't want to go there well the problem with me is the second that I drink I take 10 shots and like I actually would have like a night with this vase like me and this vase would be up until 6 in the morning having a heart to heart you know what I mean so I like lose all consciousness of what Tana likes you know yeah but

I don't know. It's just even going out the other night. I was just like, why did I do that? Like, you know, it's hard to understand. Like,

It feels like since we stopped doing it, it stopped happening. And, like, no, it didn't. No, and then you go. It still happens every night. Like, there's still people who are going every night. No, the other night, like, the Nelk boys were all out in their happy dad hats. Mind you, I'm in a fucking down in heels. I'm like, literally, I could have been in a snapback. And they're all, like, hammered and, like, in a loop. And I was like, oh, my God. Like, it's crazy because normally I would have, like, been in this loop. It's nice to be out of the loop, though. Like, yeah. No, it's so nice. It's just...

I don't know. It's just so crazy. Yeah, it's just still happening. And it is just sadder and sadder over time, too, to see the same guys like wearing the same chrome hearts and like now they're 40 and it's like your sperm's going to dry up. Well, what happened to me as I got older, it like made me realize like, oh, these guys were losers on everyone. And then they just keep preying on the

new round. Yeah, the new rounds. And it's kind of crazy because you don't think about it. I remember like the coolest of cool guys, like I'd be like, oh my God, I hope he's at Hyde tonight. And now I'm thinking about it. I'm like, he was 35 at Hyde every night. And he has like,

A hundred million dollars Like go home 100% 100% Like what do you What business do you have there Except for to pick up Some 21 year old girl Which is just so I'm really at the point Yeah where I'm just like Praying It's so sad For all those girls Because it is like The same men Praying on these new groups Of like 21 year old girls And like new famous people And like just whatever It's so weird And it's just not fun Like even just yelling Over music I'm like oh my god My temples hurt

I want to feed ducks. Like I want to take up new fucking hobbies. I want to feed ducks. I just can't believe that my life has ever gotten to this point, but it feels so good. You know what I mean? Now I'm so happy for you. And now that you know what it's like, I feel like you won't regress. I feel like before it was like you never got far enough to the other side to not want to like go back. 100%. 100%. And it's so nice. Speaking of not being able to party anymore, do you know what I've been seeing online and I'm truly like...

baffled by this is Alex Earle's 24 hour party she amazes me and I've done that without like calling it that right like in Miami so many times where like truly like the night just carries into the day and then you do the boat and you do it again and then all of a sudden it's been 48 hours and like that's why I haven't been to Miami sober and I utterly refuse I'm sure there's a different side of Miami that I could see

And it's beautiful and water and beach and love and laugh. But all I know is like actual cocaine hookers and like, you know, I haven't been back since you and fought so bad. I literally had to practically walk home from Miami to just not be in the same room as you. That whole trip was brutal. Like my, it's just brutal. It's, it's,

Such a demonic place Miami is. But again, I'm sure like I'm from Vegas and I love it. I'm like Vegas is the light of the world. So it's like I'm sure that like Alex Earl has a different experience than like I have. Wait, so she's doing a 24 hour. I saw in her story like hour 12 of 24 or something. Yeah. But I can't see her TikToks.

Oh, shit. Yeah. So her best friend, it was her best friend's birthday and they decided to throw a 24-hour party starting at 7 p.m. until 7 p.m. the next day. And they're talking about all of this online. And I am not even remotely putting an air of accusation on anyone there. And I think anyone who can...

who can do that without cocaine is like a superhuman like no you can't what do you mean I'm not putting that allegation on her because I even saw her in her comments saying like we don't do that but like I guess I don't know if it's just like the shit I've seen in LA would like you know me I always say like I think everyone does cocaine everyone does fucking cocaine in LA and like I

I just, how? Again, yeah, I don't want to accuse her of anything. Yeah, I don't want to accuse her. I guess I like should literally just ask her instead of podcasting about this, but there's no fucking way. You're going for 24 hours, all of you, and no one's hitting the slopes. Or maybe there's nap time. That's true. Yeah, they had a nap. They got an IV and I'm not meaning to project that on her. I'm truly just like, I can't even wrap my head around. I'm trying to think of what could get me to sleep.

stay up that late like literally nothing I can't I the second it hits 9 p.m I start going no there was like a time of my life where I truly was doing that without a label and like it's just so but again obviously

with drugs and it's so wild she's also young very young that's but still she's like 23 22 which is 24 hours of partying without cocaine is actually like that should be fuck break dancing the next olympics that should be a category i agree i just i can't even believe it trisha paytas she went on broadway i'm so proud of her

I'm just, you know, like the progression of her relationship with Rachel, right? Yeah. Like how she went from being like Rachel is like literally absolutely horrible. Like, but it was just like, I think she was just like kind of trolling to being like such a Rachel super fan to Rachel being in her show is like the craziest. And her love for Ben Platt. Also the Empire State Building. Yeah.

Like you are just I mean, obviously I always say it, but you are just that bitch. Like I'm so fucking happy for her. I was sobbing the entire time watching it. It's so inspirational. It's she's just literally perfect. She deserves every little bit of it. I love that she was the star. I love that she's on stage with like literal legends and she is the star. Yes. And she is. She truly is just a legend. And it's I think it's so fucking cool.

To just I don't know, she is like the face of the community for us broken girls, you know, and it's like you can fucking do anything and she deserves it. So I want to cry right now. Like it's like feeling like things are like the lowest of lows. And then now she's like just on Broadway and she's just so fabulous and just deserves and just documenting all of that, like truly always being so authentic with where her mental space was at, I think allows for her fans as a community to.

to feel something so special that most people will never let you into like most of your favorite people you will never be let into like the deepest depths of their darkness you know so to do that and then everyone get to grow with her like even just seeing the video of her after all the people around her i was just like i'm so happy for her i can't even believe empire state building pink is so it's amazing i just feel like what's crazy is like that feels like oh my god the greatest it could be and i feel like the next thing she does we're gonna be like

Oh my God. Like, I just feel like she, the world is her oyster right now. She could do anything that she wants. I'm so fucking happy for her and so proud of her. I wanted to go so bad. And then in the last minute, I like didn't. I wish we did. It would have been fun. It would have been so fabulous, but. I watched Baby Girl, the movie last night. How was it? Have you seen it? I haven't seen it yet, but I want to. You have to go home tonight and watch it. Well, first of all,

Me watching that movie while Makoa's out of town is the most diabolical shit. I lost my vibrator charger too. It's, it is so, it's the horniest movie I've ever seen. I need to show you, honestly, look at this video. I'll insert it into the podcast. I don't,

I don't know how this could possibly go well. Like, what do you mean look at this video? No, no, no, no, no. It's so horny. Check this video out. No, no, no, no, no. It's not bad. I swear. Look at everyone in the theater. Look at everyone's faces. Oh, my God. This is like guys watching porn with their friends. It's like, why are you trying to all get horny together? No, we all got so horny together. Like, we didn't think it was going to be that crazy. And then it's like Nicole Kidman, like, walking on all fours, like, drinking out of a bowl while the guy says, good girl. And then he blows her back out.

It was so fucking insane. I feel so bad for Makoa. He's going to come home to our room like a sex chamber. A little bowl of milk. No, I'm quite literally not even kidding. And then every single person, the second the movie was over, just went to their rooms and you could hear us all on FaceTime. It was like some real like... Imagine just from the other room, it's like...

No, I'm not even... I had to go acoustic. I had Makoa on the phone doing tricks. Acoustic isn't real. Because I can't do it, I refuse to believe anyone else can. No, and then tell me why I had palsy of the hand after going acoustic. That'll give you arthritis for sure. No, I'm not even actually kidding. It's like, there's something so...

humiliating about your vibrator dying and you needing to get a nut off so bad that you have to go acoustic. It's so embarrassing. Have you ever had like where it dies but like if you turn it on for once it'll go again for like three seconds and then you ride out to

out the three seconds. Yeah. So you're just like, I just have done that like so many times to where it's like, okay, that was almost like one full 30 second stint. Yes. And you're like edging yourself. No. And then I was trying to have like FaceTime sex and that's like a whole thing. Like it's like not that hot, you know, like you have to really try like the angles. Like afterwards I couldn't lift my arm. Like my arm was like tired. What are the angles? I don't think I've ever done it. Actually. No, I haven't ever done it.

Well, it's just I'm long distance right now. So obviously, you know, you got to be spicy. You got to put on the sexy set and you got to be like, oh, miss me, daddy. But it's like, really? I don't think I could do that. After I think it would I would I would get imposter syndrome doing that. Like if I were to do that, I would be like, who do I think I am?

I definitely was feeling that way, but it's like after like the like week and a half, two week mark of not being together, like I start losing vision in my right eye. Like I need dick. I need, I need stimulation. I need, you know? Yeah. Like it's just,

I can't even, you know? Consistent? Yeah. I don't feel like the same person, but Baby Girl was insane. It truly was insane. I don't think we all realized that we were actually going to be watching porn essentially together, and you have to watch it. I'm so excited. Like, if you see me drinking in the corner out of a bowl of milk next week on all fours, like, mind your business. It's camp. Do you believe in cow's milk? I do, but I also believe in bubbling the house down. You know that I'm going to say something that's just brutal and disgusting about, you know,

You've gassed yourself out in the car a few times, I'm presuming. And that's just where I'm at with cow's milk. Alabama Barker and Bad Baby continue to give us a topic each week. It's crazy. This is now three podcasts in a row where it's like I have to write it down again. Are they going to send us a cease and desist? I think that they need to focus on sending each other a cease and desist first, right? Yeah.

So, Bad Baby puts out her song. Implying that Alabama got pregnant by Tyga. If that is true... She's definitely going to send us a cease and desist. Recently, I found out that Tyga went and said that he hates one of my friends simply because they are friends with me. We have no idea who it could be. It's totally not Brooke. I understand why he doesn't like me, obviously, because I go to do this. But it's like, if you're a fucking Alabama barker,

And you got Alabama Barker pregnant? Like, it's everything I've ever always said about him. I will say he went online and he, not that, like, you can always believe a man, but he went online and he was like, I can't believe I even have to address this. But, like, absolutely not have I ever had a physical relationship with Alabama Barker. And I do, like, as much as you can say about Tiger, like, how could anybody be so stupid as to, A, hook up with somebody who's underage, but also who's underage and is in the family of your ex?

Yeah I don't Well she's not underage And like he loves Oh she's not underage You know Doesn't matter She's too young Yeah I hope I hope it's not true That shit is crazy Way too young It is just wild too That like I don't know I saw Bad Baby like Making a video Just being like Like Alabama was coming at

Bad Baby saying like, you asked for my lip combo, you asked for this, you asked for that. Yeah, Bad Baby's like, yeah, I thought you were my friend. Of course I did. It's wild to defend that behavior. I did. I feel bad. You know when you're in it and you can't see it for what it is. Bad Baby, I saw her say like, I don't even care that he's cheating on me. And I'm like, we should. Dude, I saw Ava Louise have a really, really profound take on what having issues with your mother can do to your relationships with other women and the way that you...

You know, when your mom, when you're born into your mom being your first hater and your mom, you know, not loving you and you not in your formative years, not receiving that unconditional love from women, what it can end up doing later on in life. And that is it is just one of those situations where it's like everybody just needs like a hug, like everyone, you know, like it's actually like a sad situation just like.

Overall, Alabama's diss track, people are speculating, was Ghost Written by MGK. He's still writing raps? The flow is very MGK. That's another person who probably right now at home is like, Tana, get my name out of your mouth, but...

It was giving MGK to me. And I was like, damn, you know, kind of crazy. Well, I guess like there's the Travis Barker, MGK kind of. Yeah, affiliation. That's what I'm saying. Like, it's not too far away. It's kind of wild. We forgot to talk about Kendrick at the Grammys. But he, you know, he's the first diss track to ever win a Grammy. It's so fabulous. Like winning a Grammy for being just like a petty c**t.

Yes, so iconic. Like, imagine you're in this beef. And there was a point in time, too. Like, remember, we had Keefa on trying to educate us. And like, there was a point in time. He was one of the first to know, I feel like. Yes. But there was like a point where like people were debating who's...

winning right like Drake fans were like oh team Drake team this whatever like imagine the feeling of like I just won a Grammy for my diss track like if I'm Drake I'm boycotting the Grammys forever forever and ever and ever

It's crazy too that The Weeknd was boycotting the Grammys and then ended up just going out on stage. Yeah, how much do you think they paid them? That's me as fuck though. Being like, fuck this brand, fuck this shit. And then like they come with a correct check and I'm like, I love this brand. Like, oh my God. Yeah, they had to have just paid them an insane bag. It's kind of iconic too, just in general. Like coming back together with someone that you want. I also just like love the idea of like,

Grammy's like crawling back to me and being like no please come yeah like okay fine yeah it's honestly honestly iconic Michaela Testa versus Anna Paul ugh

This is another one of those things and like it happens to me really often where like I can watch a video in full and be like, oh my God, I can't believe it. Like I'm so on this person's side. And then I see that a next person's video and I'm like, oh my God, I cannot believe it. I am so on this person's like I don't I can't figure out who is being honest. Uh-huh. Or are they both being honest and it's just like different versions of their own truth. You know what I mean? Like I don't feel like Michaela Testa lied a fucking bit in that video. No.

But then obviously her saying that she had the receipts and then being like, actually, I'm going to take the receipts to court. And if she does, then like slay down, you know? The things Michaela was saying, it's like you just don't make up that interaction of someone calling their fans fat. Like you're not going to sit down as Michaela and be like, she called this person fat if she didn't call this person fat. Yeah, that's true. Because Michaela's gotten so much hate from like just like,

Yeah. Their stands in general because like obviously they have such a like loyal like or like a cult fan base. Also just whenever I see certain videos and listen I it is so funny me even daring to say this because I have posted some tonk-tacious apologies in my day. So this is quite literally the pot calling the kettle black and I shouldn't I don't know. Tonk-tacious was amazing.

amazing like I have posted some wonky tonky clarifications you know so it's like I'm not trying to be the person putting the gavel down but I you always just think like after watching Mikaela's video I was like somebody watched that and like the whole like I feel broke thing like was crazy like like it's an emotion on inside out like it's like like broke in the corner like hungry like dude like what do you actually mean

They should add broke to Inside Out. Like, it's... Yeah, that is crazy. That's like saying, like... Yeah, no. There's nothing that it's like... Like, it's, you know, it's like... So either you are or you aren't. If you have a fucking mansion on the water... I do understand that struggling to pay rent can teeter the line of, like, whatever. But also, like, you probably were glamorizing. You know what I mean? Like, what's the word? Fluffing up how little money you had for internet sympathy and views. I feel like...

it's so interesting to me because I feel like at least in my lifetime, the goal has, or like my angle was always like pretend I had more money than I had and not like flex your way out the trenches. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like my thought is never to be like, Oh my God, I was so broke. Like I just, it just fits her brand. So like I could see where she would financially benefit from, you know, embellishing a,

coming from the trenches story and that's so wild that sucks but at least if even one actual broke person saw it and felt inspired okay it's like I also just wish she touched on all the Addis stuff because it's kind of like saying nothing about that is that's the thing I know I don't have all the information here

I'll drop this. Honestly, Michaela, DM me the receipts. I love Michaela. Yeah, it's funny. Michaela hates my guts, but I think she well, it's, you know, Tommy Arnold. I don't think you do, but he he's just one of those boys like friends with like Bryce Hall and shit. He used to do hot tub streams. I ended up becoming decent friends with him because I

He taught me a lot about poker. And he does videos where he'll just interview influencers with tiny mics. And he asked her one day, like, least favorite influencer. And she was just like, Tana Mongeau. I hate Tana Mongeau. And I was like, damn. I remember this. But was she trolling? I think, actually, we know we did. We did get to the bottom of that. And I do also understand why...

You know, she's friends with corinna and like I know ari went on a trip with them and like Ari came back saying like people didn't have the nicest things to say about you and I think sometimes it's like, you know If you really hated someone that I didn't know like and you were on a whole tangent. I would probably be Having your back in the conversation. So like I understand that I guess but I don't know. I really don't know I don't know. I I guess yeah, you're right. Like there's no reason for her to just like outright lie out of nowhere. I

But then obviously also not with the essay stuff. Okay. Like I understand holding that in for as long as you need, you know, it's your own story in your own time. She, she was kind of saying that Addis, uh,

financially abused her and also sexually. And even just taking 50% of her income, like that is so fucked up. Like you're not in the OF content. You're not. And then thinking about your boyfriend convincing you to give him 50% of your OF income is fucking wild because it's like there had to have been some trail of emotional abuse there to even get you to do that because anyone managing should never take more than like 30%.

I guess 30 at most, let alone just your boyfriend who's running your account. Right. So then that makes me believe... Well, obviously, I already was just believing everything she was saying, like the essay stuff. Of course. But I wonder what took her so long in the... You know, because you kept kicking it with Anna while she's calling her fans fatties, which is crazy. But then again, I guess...

She was in a really emotionally abusive situation with Addis, so I'm assuming probably with Anna as well. Yeah, it's hard to say or know what you would do in that situation. I don't know. It's hard. Without all the information, I cannot have a take. And I learned my lesson. I'm not defending anyone here. And it's just one of those things where I'm sitting here with a hunch about Anna Paul and I don't really know. What I hate is finding out that someone I believe to be...

Any sort of, like, amazing, nice person, like, finding out that they're not, I hate when that happens. Yeah, I guess I... And it happens so often. It does. I think she really did a good job on selling the, like, so giving, give back, I love my fans act. Mm-hmm. And that's always, like, anyone who's mean about their fans or doesn't like their fans is an automatic eh in my book. Right. Like, it's like, where the fuck do you get off? Like, that just...

And I don't believe Mikayla was lying, so it's kind of wild. It is really wild. Oh, shit. I know. It is just wild, though, on the opposing end, if Mikayla were lying the way the internet is, you know? And it's like, I'm not even trying to, like...

pit women or do any of that. It's like, even if Anna, let's say Michaela was completely lying and Anna fully sued her for slander, those damages are irreparable. Yeah. Yes. Exactly. Like, because there's, there's going to be such a huge, large percentage of people who beat and never even see it get cleared up. So that's just what they think. And even if they do see it get cleared up, like psychologically, like you already believe that about this person. Yeah. Which is just wild that it's, I think after the Blake Lively thing, it just like,

And obviously I still, new things come out about that every day where I think. That's kind of what I'm saying where I'm like, I have whiplash. Like I can't even look into this anymore because it's like I don't even understand what's going on. I just have like had to really check myself on being so quick to believe a woman is bad on the internet because it happens every single fucking day. But then it's like half these creators getting exposed for being shitty people are. Yeah. So I just, what I will say, I did agree with in,

Anna's take is like people just straight up kill themselves over stuff like this like so often and so that's something to keep in mind like they call it like weaponizing like you know like suicide or whatever but it's also like that is what happens like we see kids like not even just kids but people kill themselves all the time over bullying and then we just bully people anyway no it is it is wild and it is I was thinking about this too just like the all emotions and actions and accusations and everything aside like

Just the PR of it all. Anna could have said anything. And her comments would still... Do I think that video is bad? Yes. Do I think of the video as the absolute perfect response to that? That she's still... I think there are just situations like that where it's like... She could have said anything. And people were still going to find a way. People believe what they want to believe. But it's hard too because it is that. It's like Mikaela is sitting down raw as fuck. Spitting facts like...

nothing to lose like you know what I mean and then like you're setting up the camera and sitting on the floor and all of your videos are contrived like it's hard just positioning wise to get anyone to believe you anyways you know yeah need more information need receipts

Yeah, I'm... Honestly, maybe I need to just shut my fucking mouth because what does it matter what I think about it? I respect you for feeling that way. And even with the Dobrik thing, I was trying to like explain to people that I understand being so Switzerland. Well, okay. Well, afraid, but also confused. No, petrified is what it is. And that's what I will call it. It was petrified. It's like hard because it happens to me so often where I'm so afraid of saying the wrong thing that I say...

exactly the wrong thing and like in that situation it's like you're sitting here and you're saying like essentially like this man doesn't deserve a career which like that is you know what i mean like that's what you think and like that's probably true but my fear is like i say that and then my i just get absolutely like reamed in on because it's like who the fuck do you think you are you don't deserve to say yeah and like i honestly completely understand how that like

I've caught myself in that feeling of life so many times. And then it's like you are contractually obligated to come sit on the canceled podcast and talk about people and cancellations and stuff. The more that I think about it, though, I think that it's a growing game, right? Like so long as you are growing as an individual and still having to sit on this microphone, I think you're entitled to an opinion. But that's the thing. I get it. Like being afraid of having an opinion is,

Until you're in a situation like the Dobrik one where then you don't have an opinion and then everyone cooks you for it. Like it's hard because it feels like a loser situation. Even I watch it back and I'm like, no, it looks like I do have an opinion. It looks like I have the wrong one. But like it really is just like I'm like I cannot –

I'm so afraid of saying like the words like, no, he shouldn't have come back. He should. Because here I am. Yeah. Talk, talk, talking. Yeah. You know, like. But it's different. It is. I know. I know. Those situations are different. But I know it's different. And like, it's just hard. Like, again, it's just a mental thing. Like. Yeah. Having to train your brain to get back into the canceled mindset and just showing up every week.

Knowing there are going to be people upset with you no matter what or saying negative things about you. Like, that's tough. That's what it is. And, like, it's weighing the two. Because, like, no matter what, I could have had either one of those two options and I'm going to get hate regardless. And it's deciding, like, which kind of hate I want to get. You know what I mean? So, like... Like, that's wild. It is. No, it's... And it's, like, it's part of the... Like, we've always gotten it. But it's just this, like, shit. Like, can I choose the right side for once? No. And, I mean, it's just, like...

a tough scene. Even you and I have been like mapping out how much we want to tour and like what we want to do. And like, I don't know, just like navigating everything is so hard. And like, I completely understand your headspace because it's like, what can I say? What do I do? What do you want from me? I'm just a girl, you know? Yeah. And like, I know a lot of people want me to shut the fuck up, but like I got, I have to show up to work. That's the thing is it's like, and you and I obviously have been having conversations too about like,

I don't know the future. And like, because even just like in our sober, healthy relationship lives, there are some weeks where I'm like, fuck, I have nothing to report. And I'm not in the mood to come just stand in the line of fire. You know what I mean? And like, at what point will we feel like,

we are elevating to something that fits our lifestyles more. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'm like, just like, I don't know. And it's hard. It's hard. Cause like, there's not like before we sit down to film again, there's not enough time to even like assess like what just happened. Like, I don't know. And yeah, my cup doesn't fill up enough by the time I sit down again, like since the last time I was here. And so it's just like,

It is really interesting. I still am enjoying this, but I do eventually see a world where we have solo wholesome podcasts and still cross over all the time. I know. And I think people get freaked out by that, but we don't. I know. That's the thing too, is that people take every... If you and I, at the end of this contract, decide I'm going to have a solo podcast, I'm going to have a solo podcast, and then we're going to podcast together all the time. Because at the end of the day, I love the chemistry that we have on camera. And I always say you're recreatable.

but I not a word I don't think it is like I have no desire to fill that with anyone else I enjoy the chemistry you and I specifically have and always will and I think we'll always make content together for that reason but people get so weird about the idea of cancelled ending well I think like another huge element of it is like the fact that like

It's frustrating. It's so frustrating to the audience that we aren't as consistent as other podcasts and stuff, but it literally... There's so much pressure about it. If we could really just sit down once a month or something and make an episode, like...

a really good episode, it might feel different. But like knowing that we do have to do it every week, I feel like it's been like... Well, and just even like, like we just filmed the Canceled Awards and I went back and I watched the edit and I was like, if I put out this raw episode, we would have 17 scandals because it's like the nature of what we're talking about. You have to say the exact right thing about all of these different scandals and these things. And whether people believe that or not, it is a difficult thing to mentally navigate. Like you have to really have your ducks in a row and then like...

I know. And you know, there's so many people who are like, well, that's what you sign up for when you're an influencer and stuff. But it's like kind of shit just like any job. Like if you're getting harassed and bullied at your job, it's not like, oh, but you you signed up for that. Like it's also the nature of this podcast, like the pop culture and the addressing things and the coming. Yeah. And honestly talking shit about people. Yes, exactly. It's like that to me. It's not podcasting. It's.

the content, the meat of what this one is. So true. Like I know Alicia Marie and Remy do not have this problem. Yeah. And then it's like, of course we'd put out the raw episodes on time, but we have to have 17 people helping us to make sure we're not fucking idiots. Yeah. And there's two of us, like both of us are saying the wrong thing. Yeah, no. And it's like, cause that's, and it's also one of those things too, where it's like a lot of my takes, it's not that I don't stand on them, but the things that you want to say with your friend are not always the things that need to make it to the internet. I'm excited to,

see the canceled chapter fully through but I don't know if that's our like lifelong journey you know we know it's not yeah it just I guess what you said is like like seeing how it like what's the word transpires yeah or like when it changes into something else better evolves yeah oh

What would I do without you? And I think that's, yeah, I guess I just see the threads in the comments and people make everything so negative about our personal relationship. And it is like so not that. It's like you and I had a call literally this week where we like just after all this Dobrik stuff where we're like, oh my God, like.

We have to figure out how to continue to figure out how to navigate these things every day. And it's very interesting. I have my moments. I'm like, oh my God, it's fun. I could take it. And then I'll call you and I'll be like, I'm going to die. Yeah. And that's, I mean, that's just what canceled will probably always bring due to the nature of what we talk about. Yeah, I know. Sometimes I wish like I could just take a step. I want to disappear. And a lot of people say you should disappear. I want to disappear. And I so far have not had the option. So just know...

As soon as it comes across my desk? That was how I felt even in the episode that we did joint where I was in Hawaii. I was like, I'm going to rip all my fucking hair. Like where I like called Leah from Hawaii.

Love Island and I was on the zoom and you or whatever at that point after touring and all the Cody Cole and the Alyssa shit like I was gonna rip my hair out not because I don't love the fans not because I don't love podcasting with you but sometimes the contractual obligation to quite literally yap and talk shit about people when you're not in the right space is

is the worst thing ever. It's the worst thing for you mentally, you know? It's just like, it is what it is. And podcasts also have their like little seasonal breaks and we just keep cooking, you know? We had breaks. We had some breaks. Have you seen the girl who, after that conversation, me actually saying these words, have you seen the girl who fucked a thousand guys in a day? Yeah. Or no, she did a hundred guys in a day and now she's gonna do a thousand guys. No, I think she did a thousand. Yeah.

Right? Can we fact check this? Because I saw that photo of her on the bed after. And then now she's beefing with another girl. Beefing? Bonnie Blue is the girl who did it. And now she's beefing with a girl, Lily Phillips, who looks exactly like her. Yeah. Okay. For also doing the thousand in a day. Oh my God, I'd be so pissed if I just went through all of that just for some other bitch to beat my record. Yeah, it's kind of crazy. Did she do a thousand? A thousand fifty-seven people...

In 12 hours. 1,057 dicks in 12 hours. Oh my God. I can't get that many story views in 12 hours. Like, like I'm actually like,

The wheelchair I would need. And then what? They all use a condom? Yeah. God, I hope. Do you think each guy just got one pump? Yeah, it would have to be one pump. Like, there's no way it was 1,057 men to completion, right? Yeah, they were lined up. No, not to completion. She would have died. When she filmed with Stiney, she said that there was a queue of guys and like they just line up like a train. Yeah, I saw the line. It was like an actual thing. What? What?

And she said she was really going all out for all of it. Like, do different positions, everything. It's not like she was just laying there. I'm just imagining those men, like, standing in line. Like, so what brings you here? Like, it's like, it's one of those things where it's, like, more power to her. Do you think they're playing, like, heads up in line? Yeah, like, that's what I'm saying. It's like, like, nothing against her. Like, get your record. Get, it's crazy. But...

I'm more so just baffled by the type of men that that would attract. I just hate it because it's like, you know, every time you see someone involved in something like this, you see five years down the line where it's like,

I hate myself for doing that and this is why I think I'm really Tara's world recently spoke out about how she congrats to her by the way on getting engaged that was very very cute and sweet even that seeing the internet pick that apart I hate people so fucking much like it's like what's to pick apart they like the snow was crunching wrong someone was walking in the back of the proposal and people were pissed it's like oh my god your boyfriend is cheating on you right now Bethany like you know it's just like I can't what boyfriend?

Your war, Bethany. She spoke out recently about how she started doing OF and obviously the jump financially from being a TikTok creator to being an OF creator, especially one that people are really interested in, oftentimes is drastic, hers was. And then she bought this

multi multi multi multi million dollar house and now she obviously has to pay off the multi multi million dollar house and she's saying that she doesn't even like doing it anymore but she's accrued this lifestyle that financially yeah that's hard requires it and it's like

Even when I look back, the other day, even today, Annalie was here, newly, Paige and I have been hiring people. And I was in my closet and I was like, hey, just letting you know, I'm about to change. Like my tits are about to be out. And I had this flash to myself at Weed Lake and I would be in a room with 27 people with my tits out. Like how hard I took that era off.

And just ever I'd be at the club doing this and like, you know, this this pose carried me home. Like it is just so wild. Like once you go so far into that world, like you can't take it back. Yeah, it's nutty. It's like, but you can though. Like you can like.

Trisha Paytas, never done it. I guess that's true. Never done it. I guess it's just with yourself, like the self-reflection, like the amount. Three times a week at minimum, I was wearing a mesh see-through shirt and getting paparazzi. Like they've seen them, Tana. Everyone's seen them. Holy fucking shit. Like so wild. I don't know. Can you talk to me about Razier? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Raise your ya-ya-ya. Okay, here's the thing about raise your ya-ya. I found her first. Okay, because I talked about her on this podcast. Remember, I saw that video of her teaching someone to sing and I came on the podcast and I was like, you're going to die. You have to see this video. And we spoke about her and then she sent me an email and she said...

that she would do a private singing lesson for me. And this was like years ago. No, this was like last year. Over a year ago, this was. Yeah. Like it was a while ago. Like you were very much, and now Raise Your Ya Ya Ya is everywhere and you were very much ahead of the curve. But I thought we all knew about Ya Ya. No, I did not know. I didn't put the two together until- Well, how many singing coaches are there? I guess a lot. A lot. Yeah, there's a lot of singing coaches. And the Ya Ya, she's different, okay? She's different.

But like that's what she's always done is where she like helps people like enunciate differently so that their voice sounds different. Like that's her whole shtick. We should raise our ya-ya-yas with her. I want to so bad. And that was the mental battle I had before because it's like I want to raise my ya-ya.

And I'm too shy. I think we should do it for the Patreon. It would be really, really, really, really funny. I know. But I like I know myself and it's one of the things I hate the most about myself. But it's like in a situation like that, I would just make a joke of it. And like, I would just waste someone's time. I'll commit. If you won't commit. I'll commit. I just had to react to my own music. Nothing is off the table. Oh, my God. I should have written down questions that I had because I had some. Can you please honestly think of some questions? My first question was, first of all, I've never seen you unironically twerk. Like, I've only seen you twerk like...

like in a joking way kind of. So I guess to see you just like unapologetically like just fucking throwing it back, that was different. And then more than that, I noticed it was made by Hunter Moreno Productions. Even that, like productions. Was Hunter on the ground because the angle...

He would commit so hard. There was on the W music video shoot. There was a point in time. I didn't actually get to tell this story in the video because it's just like a long story. I'll try to make it short. But I mean, like I said in the video, like Hunter's been my bestie for so long. And like when I met him, he was working at ICM and he had trouble with that. Like he was an intern. There was staplers flying. I don't want to like tell his life story for him, but yeah.

you know he sees me and I just have this money and I'm so willing to spend it on quite literally the most embarrassing shit out but obviously paying for a humiliation ritual is like so funny by the way no it's insane it's not that it's humiliating Brooke yeah you can say it it does not offend me in the slightest when I got done reacting to my old music I I took a benzo and I'm gonna say that I'm gonna say it proud like I was having a panic of a century I can't think about that

about the headspace you have to be in to be unironically doing that like I am so far I am five times over a different person I've become a different person five times since that time

But anyways, Hunter obviously was so committed to, you know, like in my head, we were like Taylor Swift and Jack Antonoff, right? Like just, we were a duo in this, you know? And for the W music video shoot, one of the days I look at Hunter and this is, he was on the floor. I was twerking in front of a car. I couldn't drive, you know, a whole nine. And I was like, Hunter, you're doing great and all, but like this video is missing something. It's like this video is missing a drone shot.

And so he has to go get a drone and he like flies it over the hills. And then the drone glitches out and crashes. And like, he couldn't afford to like not return the drone. So he had to like go in the mountains. He was like covered in blood. He got hurt, like to get the drone. Like, it's so funny to think. So happy he's in a better place. Yeah. He's such a different person now shooting Teddy swims at the Grammys, like killing it. It's so funny though, to think that time. And,

And it's so wild too. Even in the video, I was just cooking everyone. Like the fact that there are actually like people who want that still to this day blow my mind. I get it though because you like it wasn't all bad. Like it really wasn't. FaceTime,

Somebody should have intervened. When I tell you, like, I actually mean that I was with Monson in the corner, like, just making noises. Like, our music process at the time literally would be me being like, and then he'd be like, that sounded like you said, let's go. And then, like, that would be how the words came about. It's literally like hitting, like, random words. Yes.

Like this melody can be those words. It's so wild. But W is good. You hit like, like I've never heard you like talk even that fast. Cause I feel like sometimes you're not, you're not on a delay, but like at that time I was definitely on a delay. Oh, you know, you talk fast. I guess you talk fast, like on the podcast and in your videos and stuff. But like if I were to try to get you to like read or recite something. Yeah. Even from memory. Yeah. Like it was amazing to me how fast you were rapping.

It was like I was listening to Bad Baby herself. I don't want it to go unnoticed that I went with you to film the sequel to Hefner, Hefner Part 2. Hefner, yeah, I was going to do that. That's how I met Chris Miles. He was writing Hefner, too. And I physically, I sat with Tana in the stew.

And it was a mess. It's brutal. It really is. It was drugs, though. It wasn't you were a mess. You would have slayed it, but it was so... She had to do it syllable by syllable. She couldn't say Hefner. It was like she would have to record her over and over again saying Hef. Hef. Hef. Ner. No. It's just...

It's wild to me. I can't believe it. I think that narcissism was the main drug that was the problem with all of this. Lack of people telling me no. And then just, yeah, it really was just a case of also being like dick fluenced. Like I was fucking these musicians and I was like, I am one now. You know what I mean? And like that's, it taught me valuable. You don't always have to do what the person that you're into is doing, you know? And it's just...

I don't know. I mean, I literally texted Maude the other day and I was like, it would be funny if we did just like cook up something and like played into this whole like lore. But I don't know. Please. Because now, now in the state of mind, I feel like you could come out with some like Miley shit.

Like I do. I don't, I really don't know. I mean, even without you, like the biggest shout out to mod forever for that song. I know people really love it. Like making that song was so it's hard. It's really, really hard work. Like it, I was like quite literally locked in a studio and that's how we ended up dating. You know? It's like, I don't know. It's a whole thing. Although the voice isn't the problem. Like the music's not really the problem. I think it was just like, well, I think now too, I have a lot more people in my life.

who will tell me if something is good or bad. I will tell you, Ari never would have let any of that happen, by the way. But it's hard because the checks were coming in. Do you know what I mean? Even Amari was kind of, his take on it was kind of like, well, I mean, if she knows, let her cook. Yeah, she clearly knows what she's doing. He did make a good point with that. Yeah, the confidence was crazy. Like, I really, I had to get humbled a few times. But it's camp, and it's part of your story. And, like, I genuinely, I think you said it, but, like, it...

It really did bring you where you are. I agree. I wouldn't change it for the world. I think I walked so Alabama Parker can run. In fact, I think she started music because she saw you do it. Yeah. Yeah. No thanks. Skinny jeans are back and I want to die about it. And that's why, that's actually what started my workout journey. Because the fact that you're afraid of a jean, Tana, you're afraid of a pair of pants. Wait till you find out you don't actually have to wear them because they're bad.

Dude, Paige and I have this whole conversation too where I'm just, I am literally a sheep to the trends and it is so bad. So am I. If Alex is doing it, like, so am I. No, and it's like, I see her with the boot and I'm like, that is so c***. It's more so that I'm not prepared for them yet. You know, like, she's eating but I'm,

eating so it's like the skinny jean movement does have me back in the gym because i want to pop out in a pair of skinny jeans one time i fuck with skinny jeans but i'm just you know me i'm built like an ice cream cone i think i could see you slaying that though like i just like i like a baggy jean because it offs like i feel like it balances out my proportions a little i guess that's fair and i i wonder if i'll ever get to a point in my life where i'm not a sheep to the current trends but like

Even today, I was on a merch call and you were podcasting. So I was pitching merch ideas for us. And like, I went to have a few ideas. And I was like, oh, we have to put leopard there. And then I was like, oh, dial it back. You know, because that's how you get regret. That's how you end up with assless chops in your fridge. Yes. In your closet. I'm starving. I'm really trying to build a capsule wardrobe and become more of just...

You know, have a style that I'll love in some years. Good. I say that with red glasses on my face and cheetah sneakers on. No, red glasses are timeless. It's fine. Also, leopard is timeless. That's true. Oh, my God. I want to talk about Joey Graceffa. Okay. And I'm not even kidding you. We have enough podcasts to move over to the Patreon. But, like, I specifically want to bring this to the front lines. Yes. Okay. And maybe I'm going to regret this and it'll end up getting clipped for the Patreon. We'll see. But I think I have been way too nice recently.

about how people act toward me when I talk about something bad that has happened to me at the hands of a man. And I made light of it and I was like, it didn't deeply bother me for me personally with the Cody Kosher. I've already talked about that. Like with people being like, well, it's Tana. So she deserved it. You know what I mean? Like that never bothered me.

me so much for me because I'm healed and I don't need people's validation, but it bothered me so much thinking about my young fans out there who have maybe gone through something traumatic and then they see comments like that and then they're afraid to speak up in their own environments. You know what I mean? Like it just societally and it does, it, it,

It doesn't hurt my feelings personally, but it does kind of make me angry because it's like I have just the right to speak out about something as everyone like anyone else does. Right. And I talked about my experience on Escape the Night with you on Patreon. And even that, like I left it on the Patreon because I was like, I am going to talk about this because this was an awful experience with a man in Los Angeles that I had. And I think it's important to speak up about these things. And I really was.

so incredibly uncomfortable on that set due to those men. It has nothing to do with Joey. I went above and beyond as well to still say that like, I love escape the night and I love Joey and it had nothing to do with him and so on and so forth. Right? Like I think that I was very clear in separating the two things that I did not think what that man said to me,

You know what I mean? Yeah. It was Joey's fault. However, it still happened and whatever. And then he ends up breaking my pinky. And it's like, that was just like a whole, like very, very awful day and awful experience for me. You know what I mean? And just being fucking fake chained up in a meat freezer. And a guy is telling you completely off camera that he would love to have you chained up like this with a fucking mask with horns on and know people are a hundred feet away. And again, just like,

The mental state of thinking, like, what if that was Rosanna Pansino instead of me? What if that was just someone who didn't comment the guy back? What would have happened? My phone's on SOS. It was a very scary, awful situation. And then Joey Graceffa goes on Just Trish and says, and I quote,

When Tana brought it up on her podcast, I was like, honestly, whatever. She can complain. It's bringing attention to the project. That's a real quote. That's a real quote. He said that on Just Trish. That's like a really bold choice. And I understand that I'm always on a rant and a tangent, but once again...

You know, you were so specific about like not making it was you love him. It had nothing to do with him. It's not his fault. So like, hello, normal response. Like I am. I am so upset and like, sorry that that happened. Yeah.

is crazy and then almost like diminishing like the pinky thing you know what i mean like i don't know what he said to trisha exactly if it was like ask her how her pinky is and it's like okay but this man who just like literally verbally is that sexual assault it's harassment sexual harassment this man who just sexually harassed me on a set then just like broke my pinky like that shit fucking hurts yeah like you know what i mean like that's

So ass and so annoying. Smash your pinky. And like Joey, I also have a podcast and you know that when inviting me on and I would have never said anything. I would have never, you know what I mean? Even brought it up until it came out. Had that not happened. But like that fucking happened to me. And once again, had that been so many young, sweet,

YouTubers and influencer girls I know that situation could have very easily gone so differently because they're not necessarily as outspoken of people as me. Even I found myself so afraid in this situation that I almost like fawned to the man, you know? So it's like to write that off as just complaining is,

Is like so fucking crazy to me. But how can you even like interpret it as complaining? Like there's nothing like... It's not like you were like, oh my God, and I hated being there and it sucked and I had the worst day. I mean, I was like bitching about being in downtown LA early in the morning, but that's for anything. Well, that's not fair. Nobody wants to be in downtown LA. And also those two things are completely separate. Like, you know what I mean? Like it's like...

I'm just very at the point in my life. I think that I have grown so much as a person. I've also shown my growth so much online for people to then like, oh, it's just Tana me over things that are fucking serious. Enrages me. Yeah. Because it's like you didn't have to go say that. You like and I like loved Joey Graceffa. I don't know. Like I just like it's like.

Okay, bet. It's just good to know, I guess, like moving forward, no more Escape the Night for Tana Marie. And honestly, I should have just let it die where it died. And that's the thing too, I think why it's so infuriating to me because I was like doing it for my friend Joey.

And like for the fans who love it and I'm still happy for that and all but it's like I don't know. I just I wasn't expecting that to be what he had to say about that. You know what I mean? Yeah. I feel like he had a really good opportunity to just be like oh my God like that it's so shitty that stuff like that happens and like yeah obviously like I'll yeah like just because it's not on him. It's on the production company and now it's like you feel or you should at least feel like some you know like if that happened like responsibility on a project that I was working on I would feel like oh my God like I'm

Yeah, I'm responsible. Yeah. And it's like, yeah, exactly. Like if I fucking had a girl with a podcast on my set and then she went to do that, I would be on the podcast the next week being like, yeah, men are awful. And I'm really fucking sorry that happened to you. Not she can fucking complain. All women do. So I will not be escaping the night any further. And that's the tea. Honestly, I just...

I just don't think we're in an era where because women, even just with Ava Louise, the way people are to her, I think her series like really opened my eyes on that. It's like just because women have problematic past, even with Blake Lively in this shit, it's like two things can be true. You can not like someone or you can think someone's problematic and outspoken. But if someone's speaking up about something that happened to them, like that is. That's the whole thing. Like perfect victim. It's just sad. I don't know. I don't want to end the podcast on like such a note, but like I didn't want to put that behind a paywall. No, I'm glad you said it. Because it's like.

Okay, Joey. Like, damn, are the girls fighting? Like, that's kind of wild. I'm fighting. And it's like,

Just everything I had to say about that as well, even down to people coming at me for saying that Rosanna Pansino wasn't saying that she was smoking her parents ashes. It's like where that fucking ever living fucking hell shit fuck do you people think I would get off making any of that up? Like it is such an out of bounds story to make up like in a meat freezer. Just a little too specific. Like smoking the parents in the meat freezer. Like it's like I'm creative, but like. Did she have anything to say about that? No, because I think she did do it. And like Rosanna Pansino is a slay.

I wasn't coming at her. Like, that was just funny. But then people were accusing me of making that up. And I'm like, again, just where? I wish you made it up. Yeah, it's just, yeah, it's, I don't even know. I really don't. But thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of The Cancelled Podcast. We love you so much. Bianca Sensori, please reach out. Everybody go watch Baby Girl, honestly, and Jack Off after this. That's all I've got to say. We love you guys so much. And we will see you in the next episode of The Cancelled Podcast. Wow!