122: BROOKE AND TANA FINALLY UNPACK JORTSGATE - Ep. 122
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Kimberly Akimbo is the winner of five Tony Awards, including Best Musical. And now it's coming to Chicago. It's a story about growing up and growing old in no particular order. The New York Times calls it profoundly funny and deeply moving. The Washington Post says, I loved it from the first note to the last. Kimberly Akimbo, playing at the CIBC Theater, June 10th through 22nd. Get tickets at BroadwayInChicago.com.

Hello and welcome back to the Cancelled Podcast. We're in like the most beautiful studio in Manchester. The walls are brick, the television screens behind us. We have lovely people setting up everything flawlessly. Like this is, this is nice. This is nice. We're so excited to be here. We got here yesterday. We took a train. I feel like a train. Dumb that I keep like being so excited about the train, but I had never been on a train before. I think it's so good to be excited about

You know, the little things life has to offer. But is anyone going to be like, it's a train? I mean, maybe, but don't let them take that from you, you know? Like, bitch, it's a train. Yeah, you're right. It was really fun. I was so excited to take the train too. And then I...

I just like word to Jeff Wittek because I'm doing exactly what he says. I'm about to be a woman talking about my period on a podcast for an hour. My period is ruining my life. It is sucking the joy. The train yesterday, like even just, well, I kind of want to start from the jump, but like,

We've all been getting our periods a little staggered on tour. You guys were more synced and then I'm kind of the last one. And you had a very angry period. Then I get my period and I never have angry periods. Like truly, I am. I'm a sad girl. I don't either. I don't even. It's really just like how my body feels. Yes. Like usually it's just body. And then if it's any emotion, I'm sad. Right. Like I'll usually cry the day before my period over anything.

anything and then that's like the end of it this is the angriest period I am furious like just crash out level furious I got in a fight I started a fight with Makoa about Mary Had a Little Lamb the song Mary Had a Little Lamb what could be fought about in that the lyrics of Mary Had a Little Lamb I was right honestly and I just was so angry at him for correcting me I was like livid fucking livid and then

The train, we get on the train. I have an experience on the toilet that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I cried on the train yesterday because of my toilet experience. I was just like,

pussy out crack out on this train the door came flying open mid tampon change and I couldn't figure out the buttons and I just lost it yeah I had to go silent and then how did you sleep last night I slept like garbage Tana I feel like you and I are having a similar we have the same room so I always know like going at like if I have a problem with the hotel you likely have the same problem first of all do you have two separate beds yes but I like having two separate beds because then we have like the food and sex bed and the sleep bed

Yeah, you could probably benefit from that. I thought about doing, like, a self-tan bed because, like, when I tell you I actually destroyed the bed in Oslo, like, I'm pretty sure I'm going to get, like, a really big invoice for that. But I don't like it because there's two queen beds. It's not two king beds. So...

Miles woke up and he's like, why are you so close to me? And I was like, what do you mean? Yeah, it is. It is interesting. I do like it for that reason. But here's I mean, listen, like I know that when we signed up to tour Europe, like I knew as I'm signing the dotted line on that contract, I am also signing away my privilege of American air conditioning. And like, I know that now.

There's been two moments though last night in the Paris airport where I was like good fucking god how do people live like this. The Paris airport was fucking a thousand degrees and I was like it's not even summertime like I was sweating I was looking at jet charters I was like I'm done I'm done and then I dialed it back I'm okay now. But last night.

It was just I went to bed at 9 30 p.m And I also was just like I know I this was the same day as the train I already cried on the train. I went mute I know i'm in a bad headspace when all i'm listening to too is machine gun kelly Yeah, wait, what's going on there? Like i've been listening to paper cuts by machine gun kelly on repeat like say better Faster hello world like that song for fucking sorry for like 48 hours and like I go to sleep and

And I can't even listen to my happy podcast either. I'm so like unhappy that I need something more serious. So I'm falling asleep to Matthew McConaughey's autobiography. Oh my God, Greenlights? Yes. Love Greenlights. Well, I listened to the whole book last night, all six hours of it. Because I fall asleep to it. I fall asleep at 9.30. I take all my sedatives to try to, you know, just...

zoom past my insomnia and I am not joking you I woke up every 30 minutes on the dot until 8 a.m. this morning like every I didn't reach REM until 8 in the morning there's a woodpecker in my wall or a ghost I don't just just

I can do you one better. Okay. Same thing. Woke up all night. First of all, because I found out someone set up on my story and said, just so you know, the hotel that you're staying at is one of the most haunted hotels.

in Manchester. I'm changing tonight. That did it for me. And it's funny because you're on the haunted side. It's the East Wing. And it's like a girl killed herself in the stairwell. And like it's right outside your door from what Paige explained to me. You're going to be so sad on the travel day when you guys have to pick me up from my new hotel. Like you just did that to yourself. Like I'm not. I'm sorry. But I woke up all night, too. I'm usually not afraid of hauntings and stuff because like, you know, I feel about ghosts. I'm like, whatever. Like it's a ghost. Like they don't have anything against me.

But for some reason, I was really scared last night. Like, I wasn't... Because I wasn't thinking like, woo-woo, ghosts. I was thinking...

Grab your feet, ghost. Yes, 100. That's so funny. Like arm, like scary arm. I swear I'm a medium. Like because I woke up every... I'm not even joking. Like I was checking the clock. Like I actually... Like I listened to Matthew McConaughey's entire... I'm not lying to you. Like I woke up every 30 minutes on the dot just so unsettling and there was this knocking in my wall that would just happen like every hour and I'm like...

I'm just trying to write it off and be hee hee about it. No, she's knocking on your door. Oh my God, I'm changing hotels. I think I would rather be on Woo Woo Ghost's side than the side that I'm on. You know what side I'm on?

railroad track no i'm picking that one there's no there's a train that actually goes by every 30 minutes like not a not a like zoom zoom tesla train that we were on yesterday but a fucking steam engine like choo-choo train if you want to change hotels with me i am now 100 for a fact no worse than that something you really don't like how many bugs did i find in my room last night

bugs how many but i'm not going back so actually probably whatever probably six bugs i found in my hotel room last night my i do not have even even a thought of wi-fi tv doesn't work in either room living room or this is sounds this is so like when it came out of my mouth i was like oh my god this is such a first world problem oh no my suite doesn't have tv in either of the rooms like but it's frustrating because i'm like

Wait, you have two rooms in your suite? No, like the living room and then the room. Oh. The bedroom. I mean...

I think it is just frustrating when you pay for something and you don't get it, obviously. Yeah, and just like when it's there, but it doesn't work. Because it's like, I would love to Chromecast and watch Big Brother and feel at home. You know what I mean? That's such an important part. That's been the hardest part on tour for me. There's no casting. And then when you go to watch Cable, I was in Berlin and it's like German Cable. And I'm like, oh my, I'm losing. I don't know what happens to Natalia Grace. I'm honestly obsessed with The Real Housewives of Cheshire. Yeah.

Okay, I mean, yeah, I guess there are probably good things on cable. And there's something we were watching last night that was like Virgin Island. And it's like all virgins. And really, they're like virgins for a reason vibes. All go to one little island. That's actually so much better. They have to do like Twister and stuff.

Wait, what was I saying? That's better than Temptation Island though. Like dead ass. Oh my God, I so agree. Like a show rooted in good. Like let's get these virgins laid versus like let's have people cheat on their partners. That's, oh my, I'm really, I'm a medium because what the fuck? I slept so horribly. Makoa, like he's, this is the first show he's not going to because he slept so bad. Like. Yeah, same. I, yeah, it was, it was bad all around and then I'm trying not to be a care. I'm really not a complainer in like a hotel situation, but I'm like, I have to complain. Even just now, like when they picked me up from my room, they were like,

Is everything okay? And I was like, honestly, no. I had to get a fan too just because of the air conditioning. Yeah. Well, you want to know what I did and it's so funny because it's such a specific thing that I did that me, Bebe, and Chris all did the exact same thing. When I, like, the shower is at a higher level than the ground but it's like a bathtub shower so like,

I didn't realize that we have different rooms. No, we're not. Do we? Yeah. Maybe when I got out of my shower, I like went to go step on the ground, but I didn't realize I was like a full foot higher than I thought I was. I fell out of the shower and into the piping, piping, scalding hot towel rack.

and burn my arm. Why does the towel rack just heat up with no caution? It's the same thing as the light switch. Like I damn near burned myself today. No, I actually did. I burned the shit out of my arm and Chris and Bebe both also fell out of the shower and burned their arm. No, the shower was so slippy. I was like conditioning my hair and like slipping and sliding and scared. There's a little like...

You know those things you're supposed to step on? No, but the shower floor. Yeah, there's one of those. It's like rolled up and you put it down on the shower floor if you're not taking a bath so that your feet don't slide around. I just want to know because I'm changing the hotel. I'm not kidding. That girl and I were friends last night. Like, I can't even believe that it's haunted. Maybe she's an animation fan. Maybe she's like...

let me in yeah that's the thing is there's such a thing as harmless but like if i'm gonna wake up every 30 minutes like i can't be a part of that that's so crazy because i just thought i slept bad so page also slept really bad she had a nightmare and she was like it was something something and then they found out whoever it was that like broke into her house in her dream was called big t and i was like maybe that was tana but also maybe it was the girl who jumped out of the

McColl was having nightmares too. He said he kept having a nightmare where he would go into the ocean with his surfboard to surf and then he would just reset back on the beach. That's such a funny nightmare for him to have. And he just kept resetting and he couldn't surf. And I was just like, how funny like that, that would be like your worst nightmare. Yeah.

That is so hilarious. I had a dream about Katy Perry and I have no idea what the dream was. I just saw something Katy Perry today and I was like, oh my God, she was in my dream last night. She okay? Is everything okay with her? I think we Patreon'd about this. So I'll like keep it light. But her being like, I don't sing like that. Honestly, that's why I have insomnia. It has been keeping me

up at night. This was your one chance. Your one chance, Katie, to do something that people would be happy with. I didn't even see that, but honestly, I don't know. I just feel like she really had... Mind you, you have the... See, I can't even talk. I'm so frustrated about it. She has the digital footprint of her being like, I'm

I'm with her. Just own it. Halsey did that mall singing video and she can't live that down, but we laugh about it. So to then be up there and be like, I don't think like that. It's got to be rage bait. I'm just like, you're lying. I really think that she's ahead of the curve on this one. I've been saying that since the space thing. I think she's trolling all of us and I think we're all falling right into her trap and everyone's talking about Katy Perry again. Why would you just want to make everyone hate you? I get it if you're...

irrelevant or I don't know. I guess you're right. She like was probably doing just fine. Yeah. You took that house from those nuns like you're fucking you've got everything you want. I still figure I need to look into that because I was thinking about it after the fact and I feel like the conversation that we had I was like

Maybe I should have taken that more seriously. Like someone died. No, it's, it is crazy. It is crazy. I am so excited to see the canceled podcast live in Australia. And I've been looking to get the best deal on canceled podcast tickets, which is why I want to give the sponsor of today's video. Seat geek, a huge shout out with over 28 million downloads. Seat geek is the number one.

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That's 10% off any tickets with promo code CANCELLED2025. Make sure you click the link in the description to download the app and have the code automatically added to your account so you can use it later. Thank you SeatGeek for sponsoring today's episode of the Canceled Podcast. Austin McBroom and Catherine.

The things that people are using to defend Austin are just like laughable to me because like the number one thing that like, cause I posted a video about it. People are in the comments like, well, she should have let him tell his story. She told him not to tell his story. And then she went and told it herself. I'm like, first of all, abs to fucking Lutely. If somebody's cheating on me left and fucking right, embarrassing me in every possible way, you think I'm going to let

them tell the story absolutely not that's mine that's my story I couldn't agree more I really couldn't agree more and it's clear just I haven't read her book yet but I've just like obviously heard and it's wild what she's been through and it's so funny because it's like if I was married to Austin McBroom and a part of the ace family pretending to work in Chipotle daily vlogging getting cheated on ace familying it up for years I would take ayahuasca too yeah so much ayahuasca

and it should I would take so much ayahuasca to get out of that and then it's like she's saying she's the virgin Mary like I would be saying that too I don't want to fuck you you're fucking yeah you probably have chlamydia he's literally and it's what's so funny too I got comments that were like well he's taking accountability for it I'm like um hello by force he's saying oh I cheated on her what about I cheated on her for fucking seven years straight with thousands of women because we saw that happen rampantly we've been saying that on this podcast like bless everyone's heart but like

I know 20 people personally who have hooked up with Austin McBroom while he's in his marriage. And just like this, the level of scheming, like the level of scheming. And manipulative, like he's very good at it. You see it in the way that you were manipulated by that video. Like any sympathy that you have for Austin right now, Catherine had too because he is a narcissist. He is a fucking manipulative narcissist. And listen, we've had experience with that fucking in fact.

That is so nuts. And I just wish nothing but the best for her. And she seems... Me too. And I would be doing like literal crystal meth right now if someone put me through that. So like, let her do some ayahuasca. Yeah. I mean, saying... It's just wild. It is just wild. Yeah. I feel like if I went through everything that she went through...

I would want to be so far away from that. And it seems like she is. She's got a good man. She's writing a beautiful book. She is. And she's shamaning it up in her free time. Like, you know, just she's on her spiritual journey. People have a lot to say about that. And like, maybe like there's some sort of if you fucking married Austin McBroom, you would be on your spiritual journey, too. That's all I know to say. No, I would be on the moon by now. Yeah. With Katie.

Yeah. Yeah. She did go to space. Speaking of other women in STEM, did you see Cardi B with Stefan Diggs? No. Who's Stefan Diggs? I'll show you. He is an athlete. I actually didn't know who he was. And Nicole was like, how do you not know who that is? The same reason boys don't know who Gypsy Rose is. 100%. But Cardi B popped out with her new man. And I just, and they're on the big screen at the game. And,

There's all these little cute clips of them. And I just hope wherever Offset is, he's like, you know, I hope he suffers. Yeah, I just any guy who's like just a serial cheater like that, like suffer. And she's glowing. Just so with like how petty she is, too. And her like.

clapping back to i love her oh i love cardi b so much oh i'm like just dying dude it's so frustrating because like i don't know like these shows the shows are the only thing that's like bringing me so much serotonin and joy like when i'm meeting everyone and when i'm on stage i'm having a great time but everything other than that this tour i've like like the international disaster in question is in my mind i'm so miserable i feel sad that that's how you feel like i mean obviously i'm struggling a little bit with it too but i am like

I'm excited to be like, I've never been to Europe, so I'm excited to like go out and do things and stuff. But it is just like kind of emotionally taxing for me. It's like being out of my routine. I have such a routine and I hate doing something different every day. Don't fuck with that at all. I want to fucking wake up, have people go, go, go. No, honestly, I quit.

I quit. I'm done. I can't talk. I'm not a person. I went to the hospital. Like my health is just like not in a good place. My hip has been dislocated this entire tour. Like, and it's, you need a chiropractor. I know Dr. Javid, I miss you every single day. And my mental health is just like actually in the garbage. I don't know what it is. Like,

I don't know if it's the flying. Cause like on the bus, I did not feel this way. Like, I think it is like the flying and the exhaustion from all the flights. Like even like a, you know, us tour, there is still routine. Cause we do still get on the same bus every night and sleep in the same bed every night. And we still like, you know, it's the same people like here. It's like, we are literally in a completely new environment and a new airport, a new, like a time of day. Like everything is different. And I, I don't know if you're affected by that, but I am. And what I was trying to say was I want fucking beef bulgogi. Yeah.

Yeah, I just, I don't, I don't know what it is. I'm just like not okay. I think I also like usually rest a lot before tour and this tour, I was super burnt out leaving. So then I think the burnout was just like, I'm going to spend the month in Hawaii. And I think in Australia, I'll be in a better place, but I'm just like,

Oh my God, dude. I'm so like depressed this tour. I was going to ask you like, and I don't encourage anyone to take medication if you don't have to, but have you ever tried it? I've never tried. I'm like, I really feel like you would really benefit from that. I know. I like the way I feel on this tour. I need like while Buterin or something like I really am like, well, while Buterin is good because it's a stimulant too. So like I take it and it,

A gets me out of bed in the morning but makes me want to go out and do things. I haven't felt this way in so long. Like truly I just don't know what it is. I'm just like even like my shower affirmations. I'm normally like writing on the shower and I'm writing like hard working and like all these things today. I just wrote joy.

Like, I have no joy. I didn't even know you did shower affirmations. Like, why is that so cute? Because they come true, I swear. Really? Yeah. I'm like, money. I know anything I write on my shower door. Engagement ring. Like, it's wild. It really works for me. But yeah, I'm just like, I don't know, dude. I'm like, dying. I'm not okay.

I don't know. I think going to Hawaii will help you. But if it doesn't, I mean, it's not like I'm just saying like you do exhibit some symptoms. No, for sure. Especially just like not a doctor. It sucks because at home again, like I'm

I want to do things and I wake up and I'm happy and like whatever and I just get all my things done and this tour I've been so like I'm not leaving the hotel room I'm like so exhausted I don't know if it's mental health or physical health though I can't figure it out because I'm like so fatigued they're so intertwined yeah exactly like I'm so fatigued beyond repair it's like do I feel like shit because I'm not moving or am I not moving because I feel like shit and obviously just yeah like you

you know, for every hour that you're on a plane, if you don't have one liter of water per hour, you're dehydrated. So I'm just like permanently dehydrated from all the flying, like eating the food, even just like the food that,

comes to the venue and the food that we eat like it's like I'm not eating healthy and I'm not I know and if I don't sleep until the show I genuinely or like just sleep get ready show sleep I don't have that energy for the show and I have to prioritize the show but then I'm not walking around I'm not doing anything else because it's all I'm trying to do in my free time is just I do think it's a depression thing honestly because I've been like that too where it's like I literally cannot get out of bed in the morning I know and I think just

We've been going, obviously, for a very, very long time. But I just think we should have, like, really all of that in tune and in check if we plan on, like, continuing touring because... I agree. I don't... If I, like, I'm really... I keep saying this, but I'm really locked in with my medication regimen right now and, like, my combo of things and I'm living for it except...

It's made me afraid of the stairs. What do you mean? Not even kidding. Something's wrong with my depth perception and I can't walk down the stairs. Like it's, I feel like a dog, you know, when a dog gets like frozen at the top, that's me now. Oh, I'd go insane. That is actually really crazy. But other than that, I feel fucking amazing. And I am so, okay. So you experienced like,

a little bit of like a hiccup so I can't really say like I'm so calm but like I feel really yeah Brooks been beating me no that's not true I've just been you know I was scared for a second there I was like oh my god I don't know if we should tour the U.S. we might kill each other but we you know but a lot it's always always always when we fight and stuff it's like some kind of external factor that is like impacting us both I feel like making you lash me

I'm not lashing anyone. I'm just telling you how I feel. Obviously, I want to do this because I love the shows. Like I said, these shows have been so incredible and so fun. And I would love to end this year with a little baby US run. Especially because if we take a break from podcasting and just like... You never know where the future is going. What if it is our last tour together for a long time or just whatever it is? I would love to do it and I'm hoping I can get there and just...

you know, do it. I think you will. I think you just need to fucking, I think I am just truly like burnt out though. Like I, as much as I'm loving doing all of this, I'm very excited to kind of end for a while and just like not owe anyone anything. Go fuck off in Hawaii. Like post things when I want, like just not have to have people relying on me, I guess. That's always kind of where I get caught up in my burnout is like,

fuck there no matter how burnt out I am there are people relying on me yeah I agree with that and like I don't want you to suffer or anyone to suffer you know and that's why I'm just like lots of expectations yeah and I'm just I need some time to like fuck off in 2026 damn I want to fuck off I know it sounds so nice right oh my god have you been seeing and I texted Hayes Greer and he didn't respond to me and I'm kind of sad about that because I really want to be answer yeah he's probably horrified actually now that I think about it but

Have you been seeing the MagCon TikToks? Wait, yes. Like Cameron Dallas, like straight up, like fucking... Yeah. Really clocking in for his meet and greet. Well, it's interesting. I don't know what he was paid, okay? But I have heard some...

you know, rumors from other people about the other people's pay. And I was under the impression and I could be very wrong. I was just under the impression that they got paid like nothing. Like peanuts. Yes, like nothing. And they were having to meet like thousands of girls every day. And obviously this was before there were regulations for social media stars and people could fuck on social media stars and like just not face repercussions and all of those things. But I'm like really pretty sure that they just like

They were clocking in and doing all of that, but I think a lot of people got fucked over. Really? Like they didn't make anything from it? Yeah. Well, I mean, yeah, I think, I feel like that's what like most of them say. I feel like there's no way like some were getting a bunch of money and some weren't. I figured they probably all kind of- Cameron Dallas might've been making money, but I don't think like Matt Espinosa or like the Greers, I don't know. Like I remember, I think I remember that. And it's just like so interesting. It's funny seeing people who like,

were either too young or too old. It was a very niche demographic. I was too old. Really? I was like in it. Like I, I completely, Oh my God. Before I, well shit. Then you've dated a Madcon member. Well, I was what you did. Chris, Chris was in Madcon. All of anyone. Oh yeah, that's right. Who didn't you date? Really? Like I just, I made my rounds, but, um, no. Okay. That was just a joke. I, the,

What are we? Are we not saying those things anymore? No, we we can say that. I mean, it's the fucking truth. I definitely live this life. But like, I remember before meeting like Cameron Dallas and like being on Vine, like before I blew up, like being like, oh, my God, they're so hot. Like I was obsessed, you know, and then I met them all. And I was like, oh, these are just normal boys with lots and lots of hookup problems because I can't imagine touring the world and

Everyone wants to fuck you everywhere you go and that's all you do all day is meet a thousand girls who want to fuck you. It's so interesting how like there are completely like different realities. It's not like oh I was too old for that like I didn't care about it. It's like I didn't know it existed and neither did anyone I know. Yeah that's so crazy. It was not a thing where I was from. So like

It's so interesting. It was so huge. They were huge. It was rampant. Have you seen that video of Cameron Dallas in the streets in Italy when he shut down the streets? I believe it. He was like Justin Bieber or something. You actually need to see this. It's so crazy. I get it, though. He's a good-looking guy. He's having a baby. I know that. I'm really happy for him. He's like...

came out about having a sex addiction alcohol problem he got completely sober clean like all the things same with Jack Galinsky like thriving baby also I love babies like shutting down the street like this like fucking goddamn like hello I feel like you could do that at like a Disneyland

I don't know dude that's kind of crazy Glasgow made me feel famous as shit that was so nuts Glasgow wherever you are just know that like we will never forget you that was literally probably the best crowd we've ever had we've had like some really amazing ones obviously like the Dolby felt amazing because it was like 10 times the amount of people we would usually have Milwaukee was insane but like something about the Dolby and them being like or wait so where what did you say Glasgow Glasgow

Glasgow. Glasgow. Something about Glasgow. Their accents. I put them in the top three of all time. I think they're my number one. Milwaukee, Glasgow, maybe the Dolby. Those are all really, really crazy ones. Crazy nights. Like the Dolby when Trisha came out, that was fucking nuts, you know? Milwaukee was crazy. Like we had cheese on our head and there were fucking thousands. But it's so funny that it's...

the most random places like Milwaukee and Glasgow, we could have fucking residencies and just go back and forth. I think what's crazy to me is like, I anticipated London being like the craziest show because it was just London. I was like, oh my God, they're, you know. Have we done a show in London? We did too. We're in Manchester now. Dude, I'm like not. Okay.

we literally just came from London but I expected those I was like oh like if I let Miles watch a show I'll let him watch London because it's going to be so crazy and stuff and it like wasn't it was a great crowd obviously but it wasn't like a crazy show I wish more than anything that I let him watch Glasgow and they just it's so sweet when you walk out and they cheer for like five minutes and you just can't even get a word out and they're so excited but they also just the camaraderie like they're like

chanting together and everything like Ireland and Scotland. It felt like it was very like they have a strong sense of community. Yes. Ireland shows were so incredible. It's so cute too. You'll notice in the audience like girls come alone sometimes and then by the end of the show they've like joined groups of friends and you just see people making friends and holding hands and just like

so sweet and like the stories at the meet and greets like oh my god I where were we we were in London at the meet and greet and I had like three different girls come up to me and tell me they got sober when I got sober and they were like thanking me because now they're

parents have a daughter still and just like all these crazy stories where people we had a girl like become a therapist because she was watching canceled and she like but that's the that's literally the girl that i told i wanted to take her clothes off which just makes it so funny i just can you can you brush up you guys i'm not kidding i've been losing sleep over this i like it

at the meet and greet like sometimes you know i'm just like flustered sometimes and i like i saw this girl's outfit and i loved her outfit she was wearing like a little yellow sweater and a maxi skirt and i i went to go tell her like oh my god i wish i could fucking take your clothes off of you and put them on to me as in like i want to wear your outfit i probably could have said i want to wear your outfit

But instead, I insisted on saying I want to take your clothes off and put them on to me, except I glitched. I glitched like I did earlier when I tried to say beef bulgogi and I just skipped the second half of my sentence. So all I said to this sweet girl who just told us she became a therapist because of us was,

I told her, oh, I just want to fucking take your clothes off. End sentence. It's really funny because we have each other. So like when either of us glitch at the meet and greet, like then there'll be a space before the next person and we'll both just look at each other like, what the fuck did I just say? Like, why did I say that? I feel like at every meet and greet, there's something where it's just like, why did I? You just said something really funny to someone. What was it?

I just be saying shit because you're meeting so many people and everyone kind of comes with the craziest. We meet so many people with such crazy energy too. We had a girl the other day. She was a BDSM photographer. Love that. She gave us some photos. She brought us all of her work, which was so crazy. And I asked her the craziest thing she'd ever seen. And she was telling us that she went to this party.

Was it in LA or was it in London? I can't remember. I think it was in London where she saw people like saran wrap together. No, they were vacuum sealed bagging people and then people were getting over the people in the vacuum sealed bag and like touching them and like fucking... And she had to photograph it. And I was like, oh my God, that is crazy. You still haven't seen Don't Fuck With Cats, huh? No. I watched some of it, but...

Well, just like all this travel has got me thinking like it's crazy that Luca Magnato was able to get away for so long. It is so wild that anyone is able to get away like with the they probe you at TSA over here. TSA this touring over

over here made me realize how lawless American TSA is like just really I feel like the opposite I feel like American TSA obviously we had 9-11 even I felt like I've been bitching about this Ziploc bag rule I will never say and this keeps not happening to you too I think our luck is just no it's not luck it's you you insisting on bringing all your all your products through as a carry on just my makeup though not all my products

And so and like they give you a Ziploc bag at TSA and then they make you put any creams, liquids, whatever, like mascara, mascara. Why the fuck does mascara have to go in a Ziploc bag? Everything tied to go pens like lip liner. What kind of bags do you originally carry them in? Because they haven't taken him out of mind. But I have all like clear, clear zip bags.

Yeah, I don't have all clear zip ties. So maybe that's why because mine already like are similar to having them in a plastic bag. They just make me take everything out. They like scan my shoes a thousand times. Like I just my bracelets the other day, they made me like take off all my bracelets and run them through the metal detector like they were up in my hair. Like I'm getting like probed in every place. I mean, it's not like such a bully, but we were playing a

prank on bb at the airport when we just i forget where we're flying but me page and miles were like each of us kept putting like new things in the hood of her jacket we put like a condom in there we put 20 bucks like we put like just all these different things just to see if she got patted down

Because it's like, obviously we didn't put anything that she would get in trouble for. But like how funny if they pat her little hood down and there's a condom in there. I would crash the fuck out. I am no fun. I'm happy no one pulled that on me. It was so funny. But they did pat her down, but they didn't find the condom. But she did later. That is kind of wild. And the 20 bucks. So really, it was a nice thing we did for her. It's been crazy. I'm just like... Wait. Also, we saw the most violent...

fight ever at the airport the second that we landed in Ireland I forget I think we're in Belfast I'm not kidding well first of all it was over soccer and at first it was like funny we're like haha like honestly I have a video and they're all like fuck it it looks like they're swinging in slow motion they're obviously like clearly drunk old men and we're laughing about it because we're like what the fuck is going on like everyone's fighting but then one guy just gets punched and gets knocked out so bad hits his head like

so hard on the pavement. I was like, I think he just died. - And there were so many fights in the street in Belfast too. Paige was walking down the street and she saw someone just like chugging a bottle of wine on their knees, took the bottle away, popped up a handful of pills, kept chugging like it was, Belfast was crazy. - They are violent. We were taking our luggage out, like putting it on a luggage cart in the street and some lady went by, I'm like waving at her baby, her baby, okay? She goes, God, you fucking stupid . I was like, oh my God.

They're so violent here. I don't know if it's just us being American, too. It's so funny how many strays you catch in the airport. I think we just do everything wrong. I don't even know what side of the road to walk on. People walk. The culture of the way people walk here, everywhere we've been, versus America is so different. I don't know how to explain that. If I was walking through a room in America and somebody else was walking towards me,

Like if that person. You would go to the right of that person and they would go to the left of you. Yeah, we would like cool. Because that's the traffic laws. But like their traffic law. They walk on the opposite side of the road because or like opposite side of people because we. People will just walk at you behind you and like run into you. Like is it Ray? My bodyguard. Every man for himself. Ray has been getting so fed up because people will just be like walking into me behind me. And I will say sometimes you'll be like dead ass standing in the middle of like. I know that. I'm not saying that. I just mean like the. I don't know.

I don't know. It's just it's just very different. I just never know what side to go on because I'm like, fuck, like, I don't even know where we are. And like, if we don't have like one verbal assault across an airport on one of us, like it's not an airport experience over here. Like people are just like, oh, my God. It's like it ruined my vibe a lot. Like, I just assume there were these old ladies on the plane next to me in Makoa.

on the way somewhere and they were so cute they had their hair dyed pink they were twin sisters they had cute big like Gucci glasses on and big floral earrings and they were so cute and I was thinking because I love to compliment people it's like my favorite thing like whenever I think someone looks cute or like just anything I think you should always tell them because you just never know like what kind of day someone's having and like if it's on your mind you might as well say it like that's how I live and I've been getting so discouraged over here that I like

was fighting demons to not compliment them because I was like, they're just going to hate to hear from me. And then we landed and they came up to me and they were like, are you famous? Like, are you, what do you do? All this stuff. And they were like, just talking to me. And one of them had the same name as Makoa's grandma. And so we were talking about, and had on an Aloha shirt too, which was crazy. So we were talking about Hawaii and they were so nice. And I walked away and I almost cried because I was like, people have over here have just made me like, assume that everyone is going to hate to hear from us and all people are,

going to be mean and then they were so nice. I was told that Manchester people in Manchester are nicer than people in London. They say like are we north? Are we north? Yeah they say northerners are nicer like that's when you start like getting good mornings and like people are nicer. People also just culturally like

I don't know how to explain it. Don't do the same things. Like, I feel like in America, when you catch someone staring at you or looking at you, you smile and then they smile and you look away. Like, people do not do that over here. I had a lady at TSA. She was just dead, mean mugging me. And I looked at her and I was like, and then she wouldn't smile. So I just was standing there like the movie Smile. You know me like I wouldn't break just going.

until she would smile back at me and she wouldn't it took me like 10 minutes I feel like that's not even that so much of a cultural difference like that happens in New York like no we're not yes it does like the difference between like when I go home for example when I go to Arizona like I'm always like shocked when we go on tour and we're in like the Midwest and every single person is just like talking to every single person like on the street in the elevator everywhere I'm like oh my god this is so refreshing because like LA and New York and like all these places like people wouldn't dare be like hi how are you like

I guess people are friendlier in the Midwest than like big hub cities, but still it's just so, I don't know. I'm just getting the shit under the stick. I fear. Maybe you have, maybe you have like resting bitch face or something. Maybe I'm, maybe my Botox has got me in a perma frown. No, you're very recognizable though. That guy who came up to us, who said they saw us on the train yesterday. Um, he was like, where's your blonde friend? She was filming. Um,

I was like, I was filming too. Thank you very much. God, I am obnoxious though, Jesus. Do you think that Young Gravy and Ari Kitsia are a PR stunt? 100%, but hilarious. I think he's so good at that. Like when he was like dating Sherry Nicole. Yeah, I guess that's true. That's really true. Because I didn't, I didn't, and maybe this was just my experience with him, but I did not know he is a monogamous person.

Like I thought he... I don't think that's his vibes. I don't think that's their vibes together. Yeah, I guess that's probably true. I think she's probably just like, this is so fun. Just if he hurts her, I'm going to have to be angry at him and I don't want to be because I love Young Gravy. No, I definitely think it's a PR thing. Like I know because I saw them post like a TikTok or like a stranger, like user 1594565, like...

posted like spotted and it's very obviously posted by them like it's they've posted one video and it's like them from across the room like cuddling and staring at each other and i'm like honestly so smart i'm gonna start posting like spotted videos of me just like walking old ladies across the street and shit not kidding they are so cute though i like want them to be real um i'm trying to see what else did you see that video of um

Kid Leroy with like just 17 espresso martinis on his table. No. Someone was like, what the hell is he doing? And he was just sitting at like dialogue or something. And he had like 17, not kidding, like 17 espresso martinis on his table. He's alone. Me for years of my life. Like so relatable. I can't even believe. Maybe that's it too. Maybe I'm just getting to that point in sobriety where you kind of hit a wall. You know, it's like you're no longer on a high from it. It's just like, oh, my back hurts and like whatever. But...

I know I'm in it. It's also interesting too, because I think that I'm, I had a psychic tell me that like I would figure out my whole life and what I wanted on this tour. And she's the one who predicts everything. Right. And even over here, I've noticed I was in Belfast. Right. And I'm in Belfast and I'm getting calls from home about certain things that certain people that I'm friends with are doing. Right. And I'm like,

How the fuck does this person have the ability to like ruin my day and stress me out from the opposite end of the world? How the fuck is what you're doing in California so awful that I am fucking pissed in Belfast and it's making me just, I don't know, just realize like,

Even my birthday this year, like I always do a big trip and like I do not want to because of the way that certain people and it's so hard because I feel so hypocritical as well. Like it's I at one point was just like these people so drunk and so stupid and doing these stupid things. And now I'm like out of it, you know, and like, but that's it's not hypocritical. It's like, oh, you grew out of it. And now it's like frustrating to see everybody else not growing out of it. That's what it is. I just like.

It's hard because these are people that I love so much. And then it's like, I had a whole thing with it. We went to Tahoe for Makoa's birthday and there was a Cabo trip where I, it's on my dime and I'm asking everyone like, Hey, and I'm not, I can't stress this enough. I don't give a fuck when people have a drink or when people are drunk. Like I don't at all. Like,

The only way it's going to annoy me is if you fucking take it there. Like you're speaking Rubik's cube. You're doing something rude. You're being embarrassing. You're being a mess. You're like upsetting other people who aren't blacked out like McCullough's friends or whatever it is. Like it really has to be like level 10. And on both of those trips, I had certain different people just like tell me that they were going to be good and then get there and like cause hell. And it like sucks because these are like,

some of my best friends and people that i love but i'm just like even this hawaii trip for my birthday it's like i can't just exclude like two of my best friends but it's like are you just gonna come and kill my vibe because you can't be not even sober sober is not the word you can't be rubik's cube appropriately drunk yeah like i don't know making me realize that i like

I don't know. No, but that's normal. I feel like you always have, like, I have a lot of friends who I love so much, but I, like, don't, I intentionally don't spend a lot of time with them anymore because they don't align with the current life I'm living. Like, I had, I noticed myself, like, especially not even, like, the person, or obviously not even Miles, like, my boyfriend now, but, like, the person I was seeing before this, I started being, like, oh, my God, I would die, literally die if he saw the way my, like, certain friends acted. Like, and I, not that I'm, like, embarrassed of them, but I was, like, oh, my God, like, I don't want that to reflect, like,

in what he thinks of me like I am not like that and then I was like wait maybe I shouldn't be surrounding myself with people who I'm like literally ashamed of their actions that's how I'm starting to feel with Makoa's friends because I'm like they're so normal and such good people and they get drunk and they do all the things but they're all so normal that like when my friends are awful I'm like oh my god like I'm team Makoa's friends here you know we're just like team like they all went

And they had a San Diego excursion for Sylvain, who's dating Isabella McCow's best friend for his birthday. And just some of the things that my friends were doing, I was like, oh, no. And it's not even just that. It's just priorities in general. Like, I love doing social media. It's not that, but just like, I don't know. I'm just...

needing more substance in my life and I don't know what it is. It will come but you know what has to happen? You got to make room. It's true. It's true but it's also like what? I'm going to fucking cut off

Not cut off. These people that are like family to me, like I can't. It's not cutting off, but some people might be cut off. Maybe for you, it might be cut off. No, I mean, yeah, I just, it's hard. I think when you get sober, realizing that there are certain people and friends where you wish you could like go in their body like a puppet and live their life for them. And like, I also have just put myself in like such a mom role, like with a lot of people, you know, where it's like,

And then that's how I end up feeling, you know, like, like my kids are letting me down. Like even like another friend called me and was like, the second you leave the country, like so-and-so is apeshit. Like the amount of self-control that they have or anything is like only when you're around. And it's like,

I don't want you know what I mean like that you don't want people like dependent on you in that way either yeah I have a problem with that like that's one of my major like downfalls as a friend like my bad friend qualities is that I want to micromanage people so crazy like to where I'm like if they don't make exactly the choice I would have made I get like really upset like

Okay, relax. But it's like because I feel like I know what's best for everybody. And like I had to just like at some point I'm like I need to just surrender to the fact that like not everyone's going to do exactly what I would do. It's hard. It's all just like hard. I don't know. I really just want to like go nomad and write this book. Like that is like the only thing that's healing. You should. It's not like I mean, you know, I will.

I just, you know, we have things to finish up, things to do. Yeah, that's fair. You do have a lot of like responsibilities. It's not like you can just fall off. But like, yeah, I mean, I kind of I did like not obviously like I still have my best friends and stuff, but like I'm not out like I was. Yeah, me either. I don't know. I don't I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is that I need. I think Hawaii is going to help me kind of.

gather my thoughts. I'm also like leaving the vapes on the mainland and I'm gonna like have Amber Mozo make me eat quinoa. You know what I saw today? What? Which was so crazy. It was like, I mean, maybe it wasn't that crazy, but on... It's like huge vape store. On the window it said student discount. Like something like 25% student discount. I'm like, that's horrible. That's how I know I'm really frontal lobing too because I'm just like, I'm finally at the point where I'm so mad at myself. We talked about this in an episode. Yeah. Whatever, but I just...

Yeah, I need to make a lot of decisions for my physical health and mental health and life and future. And I'm just like, geez Louise. I just thought that was so crazy. I'm like, that's like having like a senior discount at the vape store. It's like, what the hell do you mean? Yeah. And they just like want to fuck up the youth. It's so bad. It's so crazy. Ugh.

You want to talk about girth master? What the hell? Honestly, so funny. And I'm living for the fact that like, I sometimes I think like, you know, I'm just talking to nobody and like, no, I'm not talking to nobody. Like people are going to see what we say on this podcast. And it has been benefiting me in a lot of ways. For example, I'm a

I spoke about like prenuvo, like the full body scan that I want so badly. And now I'm going to do it. And I'm like, Oh my God, perfect. Like people are listening. Right. To join you on that, by the way, we should do that for the page. I think it would be so, I just really want to know because like, I even have like a little spot that I'm a little concerned about on my back. I'm like, am I, do I have cancer? Um, but,

I spoke about girth master in our, the other day and got a follow from girth master. And imagine my dismay. I'm sitting next to my boyfriend in the car and I open up my Instagram and it says girth master just followed you. I'm like, I literally felt his heart drop. Like what the hell do you mean? Yeah.

And explaining him the situation. I was like, no, like we were talking about him on the podcast. Like he hooked up with this girl that we know. And he's like, God, like, can you start talking about fucking like shit that matters? Like, oh, I love flying Emirates first class. It's so true. It is just so funny. Like the people that end up reaching out that we end up talking about. You're so right. Like, I love getting engaged. Just kidding. I love...

Jaded London. I love Jaded London. Please put me back on the PR list. I don't know why they took me off and I'm tired of running this. Are you really into Jaded London? These pants are Jaded London. I love Jaded London. Really? I saw it like heavy in London, obviously. And then I was like, oh, maybe because it's from London. Yeah, it's Jaded.

there's so many things that i'm like so shocked to see out here like joe and the juice i'm like so shocked to see joe and the juice everyone's something oh my god a piece of home but then i ran into the brand manager of joe and the juice at joe and the juice and she's like it started in literally like what's what's dutch started in switzerland something like that like but what's where's where are dutch people from

Oh, it wasn't Holland. It wasn't Holland. It was something with a D. Oh my... Whatever. Denmark! It was in Denmark or something. Should we talk about Jortsgate? We've been...

yeah we've been playing the jortscape footage every single night at the show and it's so funny because we have to like relive it our original concept for this like piece of the show was like i thought it'd be so funny if we had two separate edits of the jortscape footage like i wanted like jortscape from my perspective and then jortscape from your perspective and like

I mean, J-Rod was only one person. So I feel like the edits ended up being like kind of similar. And so like we ended up just putting like one edit together. He just had a lot of other things to do and we didn't get around to like doing it that way. Like I think it would have taken more time. So we've just been showing the whole thing. And...

I don't know. I guess just like reflecting on it, having to watch it. It's so wild. Like that's kind of what the show is about. Just who we once were. And even just on touring, like how much we've grown and like whatnot, but it's so wild to reflect on. And I think that I've finally come to the conclusion that, um,

I haven't been approaching this correctly. Like I've been like, I was right. You know what I mean? And then you're like, I was right. And it's like back and forth. And I've come to the conclusion that I think you were right. Like, I think that you are 100% right. Clip it. But the biggest bully on planet earth and literally so mean. And it also, it's not pictured. I think that's the thing that's hard is it's like,

In the video, it's like you being like, we're late. Like, you know what I mean? And that's correct. Like you hazing me off camera. But you made a good point that like, well, not, I mean, just...

Rationalizing it more You grew up in a household With sisters And that's kind of How you guys operated Like being very mean To each other Yeah I feel like That's like a thing Common like with people With a lot of siblings And stuff I notice it because like Sometimes I'm like Like me and Bebe Will fight We'll be like You're such a fucking Stupid cunt You know what I mean Like which I would Never say to like

Certain friends that I have but it's because like she's like my sister And that's how me and my family spoke to each other but I had to like realize at some point like you're Not really supposed to talk to your friends like that Even if you're kidding like I mean I'm obviously I am kidding but it's like no but like When you when you get hot you'll be saying Shit you know and that's well that's what it was And obviously it the jorts were the It was never about the jorts okay and I can Recognize that now but obviously you were just Well the jorts Do we ever want to explain how the jorts even Got brought into it

Because I should have been downstairs and I'm calling you saying, should I wear drawers? Yeah. It's so urgent. And I'm literally down there like, oh my God, every second counts. And then you call me and you literally just go.

are you wearing jorts? And then that, and so then obviously the rest of the day I picked onto that thing. Cause I felt like that was like a lighthearted way to get my point across in my head. I was like, Oh, I'm just going to make jorts comments. And that will help me refrain from making the real comments I want to make, which is you're never on time. Yeah. And I think that you were right. Like at the end of the day, like I was late and like,

Now I've been trying to just be so on time. Oh, you've been amazing. Like respect that. And it's funny because you said to me the other day in the green room that you came to this realization that I work best.

like mouse the cat is what she said with positive reinforcement like if I'm on time being like yay versus like if I'm late being like so fucking mean to me yeah and we do work better now like that and I think that that's that's what it is like your perspective from George's gate was Tana is so fucking negligent late rude out of touch and my perspective from George's gate was Brooke is so mean bully evil rude no it's

I get it. And I apologize for being a little bit extreme in the comment. Like, I feel like, yeah, maybe I was being a little bit of a button pusher. I was. But I understand why you were pushing my buttons now. Like, I think we've come to a great understanding over it. And it feels nice because I think it...

Even up until this tour, I think I had to watch the footage and be like, two things can be true. You know what I mean? Tana, you are wrong here. And you're mad because she was mean to you. You can't defend your... I think I was defending my side of it. Yeah, maybe I didn't have to be so mean to you. I think I just was like, at that point, I felt so much pressure because it felt, at that time too especially, it was very much they were a unit when you got... It was always you guys are doing this wrong. We had outside parties. Yeah.

Emma was even talking to me about how just like now everyone is so aware of like, I don't know, just keeping us in a good place because that is how everything goes well. Like not putting things that have to do with me onto you, putting things that have to do with you onto me, like putting, you know what I mean? Just like letting us be us and like not, I think at that time people wanted us to wear many hats as well. And it just like, we couldn't even wear the performer hat. What works for one of us doesn't work for the other and vice versa. It's very much like we operate very differently. Yeah.

But you've been so good. You've been so on time. The store is actually amazing. Like almost every single time that we've gone to the venue, you've been there before me, which is like... I've been trying. I just... So hard. You know who we're waiting on always now? Paige. Paige is always late. Paige is turning into me. Paige is always late. I'm like, oh my God, we're always waiting on her. She's never like late, late, but she's always like... She's always the one we're like...

hello we want to go where is she it's kind of funny now the george skid thing though is super validating for me honestly because i get to watch everybody's reactions to footage and they're always like wait and it's crazy too because like i said a lot of it is not pictured yeah they didn't get they didn't get like the little comments that i like there's one in there where you go like i thought it'd be funny to fight and that was your energy of the day because i was i really was in my head i was like oh i'm gonna make this light-hearted yeah

But you know what my favorite thing that you say in it that nobody ever notices that I like I notice in me and Paige laugh about every single time. Because I go we're on time. No well yeah when you choke when you choke on your words and you say no you say and we're early. And like no we fucking weren't we were not close to early but oh my god I have to tell you something about it too. Oh my god I'm so excited I can't forget but what was I just talking about?

Something I say. Oh, you say, um, you get into the car, like meet and greets at five 30 and you go, it's five 25. I can't control where the venue is. The venue is 45 minutes away. Yeah. But it's so funny. It's so funny to say like that. You should have looked me dead in my eyes and said, kill yourself. You probably did actually. So yeah, see, that's the thing. But you know what I was done is Thomas told me that when he was, he was on a previous tour before he started touring with us. He had, he hadn't started touring with us yet. Thomas, by the way, is our tour manager. Um,

And he was at House of Blues Cleveland, which is where George's Gate happened, where all of this hubbub went down. Yeah.

And he was talking to somebody like somebody who worked around House of Blues Cleveland, like about where he's going after this. And he was like, oh, I'm going to start touring with this podcast, like cancel podcast. And he said they were like, oh, definitely like a lot, like very crazy energy with them. And like, like essentially said, like, they are very loud, very disruptive kind of thing about us. But he was like, I just didn't even know what to think of it. And he was like, it wasn't until like I saw the video for the first time that it was like,

That's what they were referencing. That fight. That is so funny. I've never once thought about the fact that every employee at the House of Blues Cleveland probably was under such a heavy impression that we are like that every single day. Yeah. That we operate that way. And like, obviously that day was an anomaly and like our biggest fight to date. You know what I mean? But like,

oh my god I didn't even think about that I remember Seth and Brittany too just trying to find solutions like there was a point in time where our managers came to the conclusion that we would need separate buses like the city girls like now we've been like thinking about it for like bed space and stuff but because we couldn't get along like yeah which is so crazy like yeah but it was always like I don't know it was always kind of ridiculous but I think both of us are just really stubborn in like I am right yeah you

You know? Yeah, 100%. But like... And we're just very different fucking people. Like even now, like even just when we like just whatever it is, like just I think we'll always butt heads to an extent because we truly see the world completely differently. Completely. Like somebody could walk in this room right now and like drop a cup of water on the ground and you and I would perceive it like as polar opposite as two people can perceive two things ever. You know what I mean? And that's like...

That just is the goddamn truth. And that's why we like, I think slay so hard as like friends outside of work. Like if right now we weren't doing canceled, then we went to lunch. We're going to have a great fucking time. You know what I mean? Like, but when it's like, get these two to agree on merch, transportation, a title, edit, anything like we are always going. And then we both are very like,

Kind of my way or the highway people. Yeah. So then it's like just getting two people like chicken or the egg. Like we were never going to. Sometimes though, like I feel like randomly like once up in a year, once in a blue moon will be so I love when that happens. Like when we're both like when we accidentally sync up. Yes. And we're like both pissed at someone else. And I'm like, wow, we can really channel this. Like I love when we come together. I think we need a new outlet for our energy. I know. I'm going to take a bar.

like boxing. I will say I do feel happier touring in general has been so unbelievably different for me now that I have a boyfriend here with me because it's like he's also someone who just like he'll be like at 9 a.m. we're going to Winston Churchill's bunkers and like oh fine

But he's like so excited by the world and like so observant and everything like is so amazing to him, especially because he hasn't traveled in so long. So it's making me appreciate it a lot more than I normally would. He's the best ever. Like I'm just, I'm so grateful for him too because I do, he does something to your energy that like just, he calms my nervous system. He's very much like,

Everyone reaps the benefits. Yeah. And he just is like way more like, I don't know. He keeps my everything in line. It's so funny because now he's like, Brooke, it's time to be downstairs. And I'm like, shut up. I know she the other day was like, what did you say? You were like, you look at everyone. You were like, are you guys aware of how I like nitpick everything that everyone does? And I was like, no, no shit. She's aware of it. Of course. Of course I know. Well, no, I'm like, I'm.

really yeah and then Miles has been doing it to you and I was just like wow maybe this will yeah well he keeps hitting me with a 10 more minutes 9 more minutes 8 more minutes I'm like pipe it you know what else is nice too about having a boyfriend though that like cares about you too is just like whenever I'm not with Makoa it's just so prevalent to me like how many more little things I have to do like it's so cool to me how much they just care like about stupid shit you know what I mean like if I'm like

which shoes should I wear like he's gonna be like you love the Mew Mew loafers because like it's just like nuts like I just for me it's like especially I guess you've never or like of course you've toured your whole life but like since we've been touring together I think you've always had like someone there with you kind of and for me it was so emotionally like horrible because the shows would end and like there's already like a weird high that comes with like the adrenaline from a show and then like the crash out that happens like when everything goes silent after and you're like wait what the fuck like

you're like so lonely you're on the you're in fucking milwaukee we love milwaukee so much but i get what you're like i don't have anything to do i have no one who's with me everyone's life is going on without me and it's like depressing and i would get so anxious and like bed and night and stuff and just be like so miserable and depressed and horrible and then i have to take a xanax or like whatever it is and then i have the whole next day that i'm like fucking barred out and i was like

I just, I don't have that now because now I just lay in bed and I'm like, no, it's so nice when I, when I toured young, I toured pretty much like I would still make friends, I guess. So, but that feeling, yeah, I would like drink that feeling away. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like I was kind of doing that too. I'm drinking a lot less on this tour. I still like, I'm still in the phase where it's really like more of a placebo than anything where it's like, I feel like I have to take a couple shots. I never feel it. I never like,

But it's just like, it makes me feel like, oh, I can go out there now. No, it's the best. Like, I mean, you know how I feel. If I could be moderate, I would be. Because like that one shot before a show is so nice because you're matching the crowd's energy a little more too, you know? Well, for me, it's just nerves. I still get so nervous. I don't know how you don't. I don't know. Like, it's so crazy to me. Over here has been really crazy because obviously when we're touring in the United States, like...

It's all in the United States. So yes, there's different cultures like the South and stuff like that. You know what I mean? But for the most part, people are similar. And every single place we've been over here is a completely different culture. Like one night we will have like a blackout drunk screaming crowd. And then the next night everyone's in a blazer sitting up like this, like dead silent. Where were we that like it looked like...

Every single person was personally dressed by like Aritzia and Oslo. It was crazy. I was like, oh my gosh, like this is not our usual audience. Like where are the fishnets? I'm just like even in Paris. Like I'm so used to like yelling on stage almost or just really projecting my voice and whatever. And I feel like I had to be like, hello and welcome back to the canceled podcast, you know, versus like because of like,

And that's just their energy. It doesn't mean that they love you any less. That's just the way that their culture is. It's so interesting because music is also the same. Like when you tour music everywhere, people are just moved by the music and it's whatever. Yeah, isn't Japan like no one claps or something? Yes, I think. And it's just wild like...

until it's telling jokes to completely different like jokes that in some places have worked so well get like no laughs over here and then jokes that like no me and page had a hard night where were we recently like we had it doesn't matter but like where both of us were like damn not one laugh for any of our like big hits you know i forget where we were we were in belfast night one in belfast

Right. Yeah. And we were looking at each other because we sit together like and so we can kind of like talk while it's going on. And we're like, damn, they hate us. I honestly don't hate us. Happy that my story is.

my story this tour is very like shock factor so like I can rely on the shock factor to just like be insane like I feel like a lot of stories that I have told in America that were a lot more chill like would just not have worked for me you need like the theatrics for it to work oh my god you know what happened to me the other day did I tell you this what I was at the airport and I you know how like at

the US airport, you put your hands over your head in a triangle. Yes. And here you put them like down by your side and it got in the thing and did this. And the lady came out and she goes, enough with the theatrics. It's like, what? Like she thought I was like being funny. That is sorry. That's exactly what I mean. That's like a perfect example of what I was saying earlier. There's the TSA over here too. Oh my God. I mean, you know how I feel. I think,

I think I don't... People who choose to be a TSA agent and then be so fucking livid about it, I could go on and on. Sometimes I feel like it's like people who need an outlet for their anger, like who choose to be in jobs that are just upsetting in general. Or like just, I don't know. But sometimes it really fucking... What do you say? Yucks my yum? You like to say that, right? Amari says that. I stole that from him. It really gets me going when like someone who you would anticipate being like really grumpy is like super nice. Yeah.

I know. Like when you have an amazing experience randomly at the DMV and you're like, what the hell? That's... I've been... We've been lucking out though sometimes with getting TSA agents who are listeners of Canceled and they've been so nice. Like anytime just... I had a girl in Oslo who listened to Canceled and she was like, you don't have to put anything in a Ziploc bag. I don't get paid enough. And I was like, yes. I had a girl the other day...

I think we were leaving. I don't know where we were leaving. But we do our advice segment at the end of the shows and they've been wild out here. I've been debating posting clips, but a lot of times you can't understand what the people are saying. Like the accents can be really thick. Like, so a lot of the clips, I don't know if like the internet would like, you know what I mean? Like receive it well, but like,

We've been having the craziest... People scan a QR code, they write in, and then we read them on stage. And then when we read it, the person stands up, and then we bring a mic to them, and we ask them more questions. And we had...

Somebody the other day say that they were dating someone who is addicted to, and this is just what they said. I'm sure this is the incorrect term. Watching nugget corn, which is people with no limbs. Yeah. Which I think we've actually talked about this before. Nugget corn in particular, because I, I know I didn't know about it. Really? Until this. Well, I just can't wrap my head around the way, first of all,

It seems like a really small group of people in the world, right? Nuggets are those nugget corn watchers. There has to be a better word for... I don't like it. I would never naturally call someone a nugget. Yeah, I don't like it. But it's like people, like obviously people with no arms and legs, like that's a very select group of people. And then out of those people, how many people decide to go into the adult film industry?

So it's like, how is that a whole genre? Well, and we just, I don't know. I mean, but anyways, I'm going through TSA. My arms are down. And then the girl wants me down and she looks at me and she goes, I didn't make it to the show last night. But my whole friend group is it's the talk of the town, the nugget corn. And like she was yelling the P word like in TSA. She ended up like getting in trouble by her supervisor and shit. It was crazy. I was like, no way this TSA agent just screamed nugget.

Yeah. God, it really. But the advice segments have just been nuts. We had someone who was hooking up with someone. And then the he asked the guy he was hooking up with, like, what are your kinks? And the guy was saying, like, I need you to smash bugs for me to get off. I kind of live for that, though, because it's like, how did you figure that out? Yeah, it's wild. We've just or is it just like old ones? Yeah, I love it. I love it.

It's so fun. Well, I needed British Taco Bell. I haven't had Taco Bell in weeks. Is it the same or no? No, it's very different. It's not as good, to be honest with you, but it still satiated me. Nobu and Taco Bell are my death row meals. In London, I just ate everywhere that I would eat in America. I had Din Tai Fung. I had Nobu. I get it on some way of wanting to feel...

like more at home. I just wish I could fucking watch Big Brother. If I could watch Big Brother, I could literally tour for the rest of my life. Well, it's so wild that you can't watch a lot of things no matter what because the VPN, like you literally cannot have the show where you are. Like I've been watching that Natalia Grace show and I left on the biggest cliffhanger and I won't let me string it. Oh no, but that'll be so exciting when you go home. Oh my God, you know what I should do? There's like...

The amount I talk about the challenge on here for you to literally not watch it and care about it. But I don't on this care about it. Yes, that's right. That is right. That is correct, Kramer. There are certain like a few seasons. I think there's like three seasons that got wiped. Like you cannot stream them anywhere. They are nowhere to be found. I think there was like drama after the fact with like some of the member or like some of the challengers. But yeah.

I'm wondering if they're available here in other countries. We have to find out. I don't know. I need to know because like War of the Worlds, I need to see Jordan on War of the Worlds. We have Netflix. That's the only... So I watched all of the final season of You and it was crazy. Penn Badgley is so fucking talented. It was so good. I've been watching Black Mirror, the new season, and it is just...

It's so wild how the first seasons of Black Mirror predicted so many things that ended up happening. So now when I watch Black Mirror, I watch it with such an anxiety that I'm like... Yeah, see, I don't like to feel that. This could all just come true. Have you seen the episode of Black Mirror? Have you seen any Black Mirror? No. In the original season where people rate people and then people go around with the rating, they do that in Japan now. What? And my favorite episode of Black Mirror of all time is called Be Right Back. And it is...

it is gut wrenching. It is gut wrenchingly sad. This woman, her boyfriend dies and then she orders a clone of him essentially like, and then AI takes everything from his social media to fill the personality into the like physical clone. And then she's dating him and it ends up just being so sad because it

It's not him. And it's like remnants of him. And it's just like, so her coming to the realization like this, like at first she's so excited. And then the episode is just about her realizing like this isn't him. He wouldn't do this. He wouldn't say this as opinions or whatever. And the ending's crazy. And now they're like doing that kind of too. Like letting like AI talk to your ex, AI talk to whoever like, Oh, that's dark. There's an AI bot now that like will,

like comb someone's social media and like act just like them like whatever and i'm just like how nuts i get afraid like i definitely like a little bit like when are they gonna start when are we just gonna get overcome can i spoil one of the episodes for you yeah not the one i just told you about um but a different one it's the first episode of the season and this guy's wife is i'm spoiling it okay but this guy's wife gets sick right and the

Or like an act, something happens to where she's like going to die. Like she's on life support, but she's not taught. She's like in a coma and then she's going to die. And then the hospital says, Hey, we can do this thing essentially where we have AI clone her brain and we put it back inside of her and like make her alive again. And so he has to pay for it. They're middle to lower class. They don't have a lot of money, but he like scrounges up the money and does it. And now she's back and she's the same person and he's so happy and he missed her and like whatever. And she's a teacher. And then all of a sudden she starts crying.

saying things that she wouldn't say and she's not present for it right like like certain words will trigger it like if you said the word like smoothie to me then like I like she would say a bunch of stuff about smoothies and then she doesn't remember saying it and then they find out that they're running ads through her like with the service they're running ads and then they have no money so they have to like upgrade and then essentially like that's what the whole episode is about is like the service is just such a scam that they keep having to upgrade because like she's gonna lose her job and like

just all these things and he's having to do such fucked up shit to like get the money and it's like so fucked and it's like with where healthcare is going in society like if that was happening in 10 years I wouldn't

Specifically in America. I feel like nobody else has the problem that we do, but like you can't do anything in America for with like healthcare wise for less than like a bajillion dollars. When I went to the hospital in Oslo, it was $350. I know. It's so like, are you kidding? I'm sorry. I really like, I can't wrap my head around it. Like how that works and why that is a thing, but it's really upsetting. I do think we're running ads through her. Like you're lying. It was, and it was just people run ads through us. I guess that's true. It's amazing.

imagine like oh my god it was so so so sad that's crazy black mirror i just don't understand how people come up with them i know i was talking about this with emma like who who those people have to be to write these certain ideas like what ayahuasca they have to be doing i know it's just like where did you get this i will say on the cloning thing like i've already thought about it and looked into it heavily because the thought that

of Murphy dying ever. Like, I'm very, like, comforted by the fact that cats can live, like, 20-something years. So, like, my kids are going to be, like, grown taking care of, like, Murphy and Mouse. Love that. But...

There is going to come a day where I outlive Murphy and like I want like five years at least before she dies to like clone her and have one prepared. Yeah, that's actually so fair. That's so fair. They do that. Paris Hilton did that, I think. Yeah, you can clone it. It's like easy to do, I guess. Not easy, but like I wonder if it's the same personality.

I don't know. And just like, is it healthy? Like I have so many questions because I'm even against like French bulldogs, like how they're genetically modified and like suffering so bad. Yeah. That's like munching cats. Like they're really horrible. A lot like Scottish folds. They have arthritis, like all like designer, like really nice animal or like not nice animals, but like cutesy, like features are usually bad for the animal. Cause I've just never seen a French bulldog with a fully working esophagus. They don't want, cause their faces just get smaller and smaller. Same thing. Like,

I mean, so many English bulldogs I'd feel really bad for because I'm like, there's no way you're having a good time. Well...

Should we head to our show? Yeah, probably. To our sold out show in Manchester. I'm so excited. This is the first time that Makoa and Miles are opting out of a show. I swear something's in that hotel. Like they are not okay. I know. Why am I like offended? I'm offended that they don't want to sit there for six hours doing absolutely nothing. That's the thing. It's like even today I was in a loop. I was like going from asking Makoa to come to then being like, wait, like,

why would you want to come? Like, because it is just sitting. They can't go out in the crowd. You know what I mean? Like, they can't, like, do anything. Yeah, they can't really walk around. They can't watch the show. So they actually just sit in the green room on their phones and, like, twiddle their thumbs. Yeah, especially this show, too. I just will never let Makoa see it ever because it's reflecting on... I know. You know what's cute is mine won't see it because Makoa's not allowed to see it.

Yeah, because he could see it. Because I told him yesterday, I was like, you can watch it. Like, you're welcome to watch it. And he's like, yeah, but I don't want to just leave Makoa and tell Makoa, like, you can't see the show and I can. That's really sweet. That's actually so sweet. I just, I feel so bad. And obviously he can see it. Like, I'm not hiding anything. It's just, and that's the interesting thing with like comedy. Like, I am laughing at,

at who I once was and how insane I was and like I'm so thankful for Makoa meeting the love of my life and being able to like reform myself and just he's obviously the first man where I'm like I really respect this person and I love them and I whatever I used to be awful in so many ways and insane and that's what the show is is kind of reflecting on that but I just like don't even want him to like

hear it like every night too it's just like Jesus yeah I don't think he would judge you ever but I get why you don't want him to hear it but also like it's cool it's like it's a cool thing that we get to do I know normally like we are telling stories that he like are just about like influencer life or like I think they should come out for the second half I know I know they should just after I tell my fucking story because Jesus fucking Christ I can't believe I did any of that I think you should have just told him that it was a heavily embellished story yeah but there's photos there there are photos yeah

And hard evidence and witnesses. Yeah, but... Me being one of them. Yeah, I'm so sorry. Seriously. But let's go. Let's go do the show. And we love you guys so much. And thank you for being so amazing. I'm serious. Like...

Just with where my mental health is at, truly, like the only thing bringing me joy and happiness right now is meeting so many of you and hearing your story. And, you know, every night I have girls just be like, you saved my life and I cannot stress enough back to them like you saved mine, you know, and I'm very excited. So we love you guys. We love you.