Dr. John Delony: The Truth About Relationships That Fail ☕️ Millionaires in Cars Getting Coffee
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What is the difference between couples who make it and the ones who don't? Beyond religion, beyond finances, beyond goals, beyond any of that stuff.

Why is John Deloney so insecure that he constantly has to rag on George Campbell? So I can take it. Well, no, I've learned that you're very thin skinned and you're very sensitive. This is a new segment where you have to answer as many questions as you can in the allotted time of the car wash. Are you prepared to be known? Fully known. Fully known. Do I take my shirt off? Is Dr. John Deloney a real doctor? No. What makes you a doctor? Oh, I just say it. Why can't I think of what it is? You tell me. We're running out of time.

What's the number one mistake that married couples make with money in 2025? Well, to help me answer that, I'm going to ride around with mental health expert, bestselling author, and host of the Dr. John Deloney Show, Dr. John Deloney himself. We'll be riding shotgun today. And we're going to get into how do you get your spouse on the same page when it comes to money? What is the difference between marriages that make it and the ones that don't? How does John spend his money? How did he build his wealth? And we're going to answer the internet's number one question about Dr. John. Is he a real doctor?

Stick around and find out as we enjoy this Millionaires in Cars getting coffee with my best friend, Dr. John Deloney. Well, well, well. And we're back. How does it feel?

Last time I was in this car, I was pushing it down the highway over here because it ran out of battery. How do you push a car from the inside? I had to get out. Yep. Well, you... What did you find out about Teslas? They're very heavy. They're like 5 million pounds. And when they give up, you can't push them anymore. They just say, nope. It's kind of a car flex. Like when this car says you're not moving, you're not moving. I love that. We had a great time. Do we have a clip of that? Let's play that clip. Let's roll that beautiful bean footage.

editors will put something cool there oh my gosh this is ridiculous we died

Let's do this. You ready? Let's go, man. I can't play any Pantera for licensing reasons, but I wanted to. Oh, it's in my head. It's always in my head. Oh, my gosh. This is our first road trip together outside of our Blink-182 misadventure. Yeah, that was a tough pill for me to swallow. But I'm glad you made it onto this channel. That's why everybody who drives a Tesla should have a friend that lifts weights.

Just in case it runs out of battery. And let's say this. People may not like Elon, but when this car says it has one mile left, this car has one mile left. Like my car, when it goes to E, you're like... You get 20 miles left. When this one says zero, you are at zero. That's a fun fact for Tesla drivers out there. Exactly. That was pre-Doge accuracy right there. I don't know how he did it.

Well, John, this has been weighing on me. You have two PhDs, a certification from Harvard. You worked as an executive at multiple well-respected universities. How does it feel to have the same job as me? I know. I was thinking about that the other day. It's crazy. Like I way outkicked the coverage. It's hilarious. Just two YouTubers palling around, talking about money. I will say this, that like you and I are in the last great loophole of mankind where we

I'm wearing the exact outfit that I wore to a punk show the other night and outfit. The fact that I call my clothes outfits tells me I have a problem and we're at work.

Yeah. Just like two buddies driving around in a car. This is my job. I know where it works. It's to keep you safe. So to my friend, John, who is an HVAC guy who's... Who's actually working right now. It's a thousand degrees in somebody's attic right now. I love you. And last greatly polled mankind, YouTuber. That's incredible. Well, normally people see you on the Ramsey Show, the Dr. John Deloney Show. You're talking about relationships and mental health. I want to focus on money today. And we'll touch on relationships. But I want to talk about your story. You've shared it in bits and pieces. Yes.

Lay it out for us. You're not the, you know, you weren't always the uber successful, uber handsome John Deloney we know and love today. You made some decisions. I wouldn't qualify myself as uber successful, but I was being. Oh, there you go. God, I see what you're doing there. Being kind. See what you're doing there. So you had made some money mistakes back in your day. Me? Yeah. My whole life has been a money mistake from start to finish. Like when you were like 15, 16, you started to become an adult. What were the first money mistakes you made?

Well, if I back up, my dad was a policeman. And I mean, that's back literally, I think when I was a little kid, I think he made like 22 grand a year. Things were real tough growing up. And then my mom didn't work. And that wasn't strange back then. And money was always just like a point of electricity in the house.

In fact, I was just talking to somebody earlier, right before this, a mutual friend of ours. The pants that I feel the most comfortable in are comically too big. And I was trying to figure out, like, why am I so uncomfortable in pants that fit? And the only thing I can think of is...

There was a family at our church that always gave me their high school son's clothes. Oh, you had hand-me-downs. Yeah, and I was tall when I was a little kid, when I was in elementary school. But I was real thin, so I always wore humongous... The pants were always just huge, because you wore what was there, right? And so...

So like, that's just kind of the, where I was baked in. And man, I've had a job since I was 10. Like I had a successful lawn business when I was 10, 11 and 12. And if I was going to do anything, if I was going to go buy CDs, the problem was I would go get 20 bucks for mowing a lawn, which for me was a million dollars. And then immediately spend it. It was gone. I would get a CD at like from the CD store on the way home. And then I would go into the stop and go and buy candy and Mountain Dews.

It was gone. It was like, all right, we start the next day. It was gone. So every day was spend it all. Early on in undergrad when I learned about like a poverty mindset, which is how do I get through today versus how do I get through next year and what do I want to be like when I'm 50? Like that blew my mind. Yeah. Because it had never occurred to me to do anything other than to get through today. And so, man, I made every – I wouldn't call it a mistake because I just didn't know. I just didn't know. And then I got to college and –

They said, hey, you college will cost this, but you're going to qualify for this. And I was like, well, just give me all of that then. And so I left college. I left college with not a ton of debt. I had a whole bunch of scholarships. And so I left college with I remember specifically the 17000. I remember my wife had about double that. And but my first year as a high school coach and a teacher in Houston, I

I ended up after my first year with $47,000 in the hole. Okay. And because I just finally had a job, I went and got the biggest, stupidest truck I could get. And I just didn't say no. And so I just kept. Is that a rite of passage in Texas though? I mean, that's a part of it. For a big, tall Texan. Yeah. And I'll tell you this, this is how bad it was. I wanted to get a guitar and I couldn't afford the guitar and I got denied for a credit card.

So I applied for another credit card. They said yes. I called them. I called them at 21 years old when they said yes. And I said, I just want to say thank you.

I think you called the customer service line to say thank you for letting me have another $650 that I don't have to buy a guitar that I don't need. And they were like, thanks. And they're like, we like this call we've gotten today. But they were like, we like to we like to support people who we believe in. I mean, and dude, I was like, I call them and said thank you as though they were a grandparent who gave me 500 bucks for college. Wow.

And then that turned into, I went back to grad school. I think I went to five different graduate programs, just like feeling it around. But what I learned is the hack was go sign up for a bunch of grad school, get the student loan check for the whole semester, immediately drop the classes and get a refund from the university. And then I'm holding this cash. And that allowed me to get the next six months

And then I would float it. And then I would float. And then, man, I ended up. So you were just playing this like shell game. It was roulette. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just moving things around, trying to make it work and survive. Right. How did you climb out of that? Was there a turning point when you got married or was it before that when you went, this sucks? There's got to be a better way. My first dean of students job, I was associate dean and my wife was a teacher. And so we were making a combined income of somewhere around 70 or 80,000. For me, where I grew up, that was a million dollars.

And we bought a tiny, tiny house. I remember it cost $103,000. Simpler times. Simpler times, that's right. You can't even sneeze for $100,000. But it was $100,000 and I was pacing at night because we couldn't pay the bills. And I remember, like, this didn't make sense to me. I knew that we made enough money to pay for a small, tiny house and it didn't make sense. And then I had my buddy. He was a banker. He came over. He's one of my college roommates. We were young. And I said, hey, figure out my net worth.

And it was at our kitchen table. And that's to this day, I've known him for 35 years. That's the hardest I've ever seen him laugh because I was yelling so loud. He factored it in. I didn't even know what net worth was. I just wanted to know what mine was.

And it was so far negative. And I was like, it's zero. And he goes, Oh no, it's way worse than zero, man. And that was this moment. Like, dude, I'm gonna have to work for five years just to get even. And I'll tell you, I had no aspirations to be successful financially at that time. I had one goal, get to zero, just get to zero. And for me and my family, that would be a huge get out of the red, get just get to zero.

Yeah. And then it became I became psychotic in a very unhealthy way about how do I get this job so I can get this? Can I adjunct this class? Can I work a third job, a fourth job? So once you set your mind to something, you have sort of like an addictive personality where you just go like way too far, which helped you get out of debt aggressively. Correct. So I've got a love hate relationship with the past me of my 20s.

because that guy worked 21 hours a day. Almost cost me my marriage. I was not a good, I was a good dad, but I wasn't a present dad when my little boy finally came along. And on top of that, right, you've got, I'm on call 24 hours. I'm working in people's, the worst moments of people's lives. High stress job. We tried to get pregnant and we had infertility issues. And so, I mean, it was just one tough thing after another. And at the same time, and this is where I think, man, I really encourage 20 year olds, people in their 20s,

just hit the gas because I'm now living in a house built on the foundation of a guy who

got a master's degree in one year. This is before online classes. And so that was nine hours in the fall, nine in the spring, nine summer one, nine summer two. I almost killed myself. I did it. And then the next semester, immediately started PhD program and knocked that out while also working full time while also doing this other job. And so you, I'm living in the house built on that foundation. So I think most 20 year olds that I, that I talked to now in early thirties, especially those that aren't married, don't have kids,

It's kind of this sit back and I want to, I'm supposed to quote unquote, enjoy this life. And if I could, man, if I could just rattle my 20 year old self, I would tell him, Hey,

You have no idea what enjoyment is until you're in your 30s and your 40s and you don't owe anybody anything. And then you're not having to wonder, can I buy a t-shirt at the show? You can also buy one for your friend who's there too. And it's just a different level of enjoyment. And so this YOLO thing, I think it works in reverse. You can really just kind of do what you want and you have different options if you just have a season of your life where you hit the gas. But I will say I hit the gas not...

Not in a healthy way. It was, it was, I was running from demons. I wasn't running towards something. Wow. So you guys had six figures of debt between you and your wife. Yeah, by the time we got done with all, and my wife was getting her PhD. She was Dr. Deloney before me. I got mine and we were just, I mean, it was just,

all that was on the tab. And then how long did it take to get out of that mess and get to some financial foundations to build? So it was when I got it, I went to another university and got a lot more responsibility and got a raise. And, and my wife did too. She became a professor. She left the elementary school classroom. And so we were making six figures combined, which again is a million dollars to us. And then we bought another house that,

was half of what we qualified for. And this is in 2009 or 10 ish, right? So the whole world's kind of rattled that kind of missed the Texas market. And again, I'm circling the house at night while my wife's asleep. We can't pay our bills. We're never gonna be able to pay this thing off. We've got all this student loan debt. And so we lived in that house for about 10 months. And I remember after about month four, I asked my wife, can we sell this house? And that was when she kind of put her foot down and said, I don't think you're well.

I'm happy to do things together to get us out of this financial issue, but we're just going to fall right back into this thing. You're not okay. And that started a whole other process of me getting well, because man, all that,

trauma I was working with, with individuals, all my own personal issues, all my own family issues. It just got to a point where- You were like spinning out looking for just a shortcut. Yes. I was just playing whack-a-mole. This is called Millionaires and Cars Getting Coffee. Where does your wealth stand today as far as like, okay, I've got a lot in retirement. I've got this property, got a few cars. How would you break that down on a general level? I've always, and again, this is before I really had dialed in with

like where I work now with Ramsey, I would have done things differently then, but I always took the match. And so, um, wherever I happen to be and in my head, it was always like, I'll take your free money. And so now that I look back, having been in, I've been working education since I was 21. So now I'm in my late forties. Yeah. So just the practice of, I'll at least take your free money. Now I've got a big chunk of money in, in just regular old, uh, retirement accounts. And then, um,

My wife and I bought a small house on five acres out here outside of Nashville. That's the farmland I picked you up from where my Tesla died on the way back. Your Tesla was like, there's too many. It's too rural. We quit. It was so beautiful out there, but I legit thought no one will find my body. No, you hear banjos just playing out in the... So you had that little farmhouse. And we've kept that. And then my wife is one of those...

Spouses that want cell signal and want water to always turn on when you turn the faucet. Society's overrated. It's absurd. Wants to watch TV shows in the same decade they come out. And then my kids, one of my kids needed some special educational stuff, so we bought...

bought another house in like closer to downtown Nashville. Nice. And then, dude, I drive a Highlander, man. And I drive a 06, I have an 06 Tundra and I won't drive those forever, but I've just always had a thing about spending money on depreciating assets. Like it just seems silly. And there is moments when I think,

After book number two went number one, and I'm sitting at home with that first big check that comes in. It's like that old John, that unwell kid is like, you make too much money to drive a Highlander, right? And then it's like, oh, just because it doesn't have an L stamped on the front of it or doesn't have a BMW stamped on front of it, that somehow I'm less than. And so honestly, this sounds absurd, but it's been a practice for me to...

dude, this Highlander, it's a freaking amazing car. Yeah. It's beautiful. It literally has a satellite that talks to space in it so I can listen to whatever I want. And so to complain about it is silly. It's just absurd. But it's still that 15-year-old kid saying, are we ever going to be enough? Are we ever going to have enough? It's like kind of scarcity mindset. Yeah. And I think I've kind of made peace with it. I think that's always going to be there. My goal now is to make sure my kids don't have that.

and that they have a healthy respect for money and they have a healthy amount of knowledge and discipline over money, but that there's not this terror, not this fear of it. - Yeah. Well, you've added an interesting layer of depth to the Ramsey Show 'cause we're taking money calls all the time. And one of the problems we run into is people follow these baby steps, this proven process and they go, "Okay, I did one, I did two, I'm at seven,

I finished. And then they go, now what? Like there's the goalpost keeps moving and it's not enough and they need another thing to do. How do you help people or help yourself practice this contentment that there doesn't need to be a next house and a next car and a nicer thing? Well, it comes down to that. Um, that's an old counseling, uh, you know, throwaway line, which is, um, the tyranny of accomplishing all of your dreams because there's this illusion that when you get this thing, um,

It's not for me. It's not about like you get this thing and everything's going to work out. I think intellectually we know that it's when I get this much money or I finally get this car, if I get this job that somehow I'm going to feel different about me. And that I think is the most unnerving part for folks that that lasts for just a few weeks, just a few minutes and you go with you, whatever success you have. And so I,

For most people, I think they crossed that line and they quote unquote, they did. They changed their family tree and their dad still didn't call them and say, I'm proud of you. That call never is going to, that call will never come if it hasn't already come. Their mom doesn't call and say, I'm so grateful. What happens is mom calls and says, oh, must be nice.

Hey, I need to fly somewhere. And since you're Mr. Richie Rich, then you can write. And that's what I hear happening all over. And so these same demons that have had a seat at the table since you were a kid, man, they're still there when you have a million dollars in the bank or when you have a pay-it-for house or you have a car that you don't owe anything on. And so it's always understanding that, A, there is a practical way.

Like everybody's born short a house. You got to get a house. And if you can, the minimal viable product, right? The, if you can get a house that your family can safely and comfortably live in and you own it, I mean, that's just get there. Um, and I know that sounds absurd and silly in today's market. I'm not, I'm not numb to that. I just bought a house and I just, I started laughing. It was so bad, right? It's just, it's insane how expensive things are.

But it's the realization that, of course, everyone wants their own bathroom and a guest room and a man cave and a wife's office. What is the smallest thing you need to have a safe, stable, good life? And let's start making some of those calls. And then on the way, man...

Begin to keep looking at yourself in the mirror and saying, okay, who do I want to be on this journey? Because you're going to be whoever you are when you cross that finish line. So it's important to start asking yourself, who am I going to be on the way? Yeah. So it's healthy to separate the two and go, it's great to have financial goals and it's great to be a healthy version of yourself. Don't think that the financial goal is going to lead you to this magical spot where your life is perfect. It will magnify who you've always been. Beautifully said. All right. I can't reach this drive-thru. It's so high up.

Hello. I've never felt more small. Hi. You're so high up there. Let me see here. Do you guys have anything? You want decaf? Can I get a decaf Americano? Oh, no, no. A decaf vanilla latte. How about that? Awesome. Thank you. What size do you want? A big one and sugar-free if you've got that sugar-free stuff. Yeah. Do you want a hot or iced? What do you think? I like a better iced. I'm going to follow your direction. All right. Regular milk in it?

Yeah, I prefer milk from a cow. Do you have heavy cream? Yes. Yeah, I don't believe in milking vegetables. What else for you guys? What's your favorite? What's my favorite? I love the cinnamon smoke. Oh, that sounds delicious. Can you do that with oat milk?

Oh, look at that, John. It comes with oat milk. Do you judge people who order vegetable milk or are you just numb to it now? Are you an oat milk girl? I have to drink oat milk. I have Crohn's disease. Boom, roasted. I would say I prefer regular milk, but I cannot have it.

But oat milk is the best out of all of the milks. Well played. That's a woman with taste right there. You played the digestive health card. Well done. You win. Perfect. I was wrong. Thank you so much. That's it for you? That's it. All right. 1437. I think I need to crawl out. Oh, thank you. Can I take this? Yeah, yeah, of course. All right. Do you guys want a punch card or do you have one? I'll take a punch card. That'd be great.

Why do you guys have so many cameras in your car? We do, I have a YouTube channel, so we do this thing where I drive around with really famous people and I talk to them about money and wealth. It's called Millionaires in Cars. Right now? We're filming one right now. Who are you driving around with? This is Dr. John Deloney. Who's that? Exactly. Real famous. His wife asks all the time. It says verification required. I don't know what that means. Yeah, we're all... You're the verifier? Yeah.

Yeah. My name's George Camel. You can find the YouTube channel there. That's really cool. We're co-workers, so it's a little awkward, but... Look at that. She gave us four punches. What? You're the best. What's your name? My name's Joey. Joey. You're amazing. Awesome. I will be right back with y'all's group. Okay. Awesome. We'll hang here. Okay.

I love this so much. Nothing is more humbling than being like, that guy's super famous. Who is he? Never heard of him. That felt good. It's kind of why I do it. To be fair, I've had way more famous people in the car than you, and they still don't know. You know? Like, I had Mike Rowe sitting there, and she's like, I feel like I've seen you around somewhere before. And he's like, yeah, probably. And that was it. He's Dan over at HomeGoods. And that's Mike Rowe. Did I buy picture frames from you over at, yeah. So, we're having a good time. We're having a good time. While we're sitting here,

You talk a lot about learning from your money mentor, Mr. Dave Ramsey. What do you think is the biggest money lesson you've learned from Dave? Not...

In front of the scenes, but behind the scenes, on the breaks of the show, in closed rooms. Yeah, that's one of my favorite things that no one gets to see is just his generosity just behind closed doors. Like when I sit down and say, hey, I'm about to buy this house. It doesn't feel right. And he'll look at it with me. And then the best part about it is he doesn't just go, meh, or meh. He says, here's what I'm thinking. And that helps. It gives me a map for the next time.

having some of those conversations with somebody that's been there and thought through that was really helpful. The most practical gift he's given me is teaching me about ratios. And that is like when you make $35,000 and you buy a $3,000 car, and that's what you can afford, that's what you got. Well, then if suddenly if you make $750,000 and you go to buy a car, and that car is, I don't know the ratio, some of the math that well, but the car is $75,000.

the ratio is the same, even though I'm going 75, right? So it's being able to say, even though my body feels a certain way, what is, what's the data say? What does the math say? And then sometimes I got to go look at my account and make sure I got to tell like,

I hear those old voices screaming. Here's how much is in the checking account. Here's how much is an emergency fund. Here's how much is... You kind of use facts to ground you. Okay, that's right. That's right. So I feel it. And then I go do the next right thing based on the data. And I'm an emotional person. I'm overreact. I'm loud. And so having that level of stability of when you get triggered or you get activated, not try to fight that, but...

Feel it and then go do the right thing after that. That's a good reminder. You know, like Dave buying a luxury car is like us buying this coffee. That's exactly right. But we're like, no one should buy that. That's too expensive for who? Right, right, right. And private, I don't have specific details, but I know that guy gives so much. Right, so when you're looking at ratios, I think that's important. And maybe the third thing is to not judge what you see as you drive down the street.

because the illusion can be, I mean, this guy's really crushing it and they're making it work and, and, and,

People can drive by my house right now and see a old Highlander and a really old pickup truck and they can make assumptions and they get to make up stories. But it works the other way, right? Yeah, that's a good reminder. Sometimes it's artificially propped up. They're in crippling debt. Their marriage is falling apart. Or maybe they saved up and paid cash and have a great life. And either way, you're trying to justify either way. Sure, we'll do some straws. I think it's appropriate.

Oh my gosh, look at this. That's a medium? It looks like it's in a bathtub. This is his Americano. Look how big, this is America. What are we doing, guys? We're not doing okay. This is why we're all dying. Thank you, Joey. Can I get a receipt? Did I get one? I did not get you

Okay. She wrote, zero plants were harmed in the making of this drink. Oh, that's amazing. Well played. What a great note. Well played. Come see Joey at Southerner's Coffee in Franklin. Hey, this is fantastic. Yeah, where are we? Southerner's Coffee. It's a little drive-thru hut. Southerner says fake because that's my legal first name. Oh, my gosh. So you lied to us. I did not lie. Okay. It's fake. That's what I got called wrong. Oh, I love that. My daughter, that's what we call my daughter.

It's a great name. I'm a huge Limp Bizkit slash. What does Limp Bizkit have to do with this? You got to have faith. There we go. Thank you, Joey. There's people behind us now, so we'll leave. But you've been amazing. Have fun. Don't do drugs. Dang, that's really good. I'm not going to lie. Outstanding. I had doubts. This is my dinner as well, but it's delicious. Because looking at it, you're like, they can't be making good stuff in there.

You know, that's a storage shed. Yes. But I respect it. Thank you, Joey. And by the way, for all you purists out there, I know George Michael was the OG. Gotta have faith.

Oh, versus the Limp Bizkit cover. I just like the Limp Bizkit cover. Yeah, it was offensive to George Michael fans. It was, and I understand that. If George Michael fans are watching this, John, sorry. If George Michael fans are watching this, we have to have different conversations. I'm doing something right on this channel. Wham, make it big. Wham fans, shout out. But yeah, the Limp Bizkit cover was the angst that my 18-year-old self needed.

I respect that. You shouldn't, but it's not respectable, but I get it. Yeah, it was sarcasm. Yeah. So we just spent too much money on these coffees. Yeah, this was $71. What is something that you've spent money on lately, big or small, that you're like, that was absolutely worth it? Like it may have felt frivolous in the moment. Others may have seen, thought it was frivolous. Maybe past John would think this is frivolous, but like this changed my life.

Okay, so I've got a weird thing. I've always believed in spending money on... Because people look at my cars, they make fun of me. And I get that. I drive crummy. I mean, they're not crummy, but they're not fancy. I'm wearing clothes that somebody sent me. I don't put a lot of that. I've always had a thing about paying for, overpaying for, or buying the nicest version of the things between me and the ground. Oh. So I...

Whenever I buy tires, and this has always been when even I was broke, I want the nicest tire possible. I have always spent a lot on mattresses and I always spend a lot on, not on fancy shoes, but on good shoes. And so those three things I overspend on. I did a few years ago, like finally exhale and I spent some money on some really nice guitars and I spent some money on some really nice, like a hunt a lot. So it's freezing cold outside. And so I finally went

I told my wife, I was like, I'm going to go buy some clothes. And she calls them my outfits. They're outfits. Kind of dig it. If you look cute in them, they're outfits. Or she calls them my costumes. That's right. She calls them my costumes. That's great. And I was like, I'm about to go spend some money on some costumes. And I'm going to ask you just please, A, don't judge me. And B, don't look at our joint checking account for a while. And you spend some money. I went over to Vince Lodge in Borough Town.

I spent way too much money, but that man, when it's 14 degrees and you're comfortable, that's pretty, to me, that's money well spent. Well, my ancestors immigrated to this country so that we could avoid standing outside in 14 degrees. You choose to do it. So I think we've come full circle. This was awesome. My grandmother was raised on a chicken farm in Texas and like for dinner,

at like two or three in the afternoon, her or her siblings would have to go out and get two chickens and wring their necks. And she used to teach me how to do that, wring their necks and then bring them inside. And so for her, everything was about getting out of there. And the last place she lived in was a 900 square foot house, downtown Houston, right off the highway. And when I used to go visit her, she's the awesomest woman ever. We would eat grape nuts and Spam.

And she was like, we made it. We're out of here. We got out. And then just to know one generation later, I'm doing everything I can to get chickens on some farmland. And so, yeah, it just loops, man. Wow.

Wow, that's dark stuff. I guess Mueslix. It's dark stuff. When Mueslix is a real luxury treat, you know, you're... Grape nuts, man. It was like eating rocks for breakfast. But man, I was regular. I was regular. Oh, I bet. Good fiber in there. I was on a routine, baby. What is something that you spent money on lately that was a total miss? You're like, this is a regret. Oh, gosh, dude. I'm a sucker. I returned it.

I gave it away. See, I don't return things. I've got a weird thing on returning. We can talk about that. There's some security, some shame. No, there's some research on basically we've created a society where we've got too many choices. And so you can't – there's no way you can ever be happy. And like companies like Target or Walmart or whatever, Academy has got one of the best return policies ever, Costco. Yeah.

That sounds good. And actually, it's cool. You can take something back. But it ensures you will never be happy with your purchase because there's always this lingering, I could go take this back. Is it like the prenup of purchases? Yeah, it's the, there's an off ramp, right? And that happens in our marriages. That happens like with no fault divorce. That happens with our purchases. That happens with everything is basically every, we're only ever trying things out.

And so nobody ever has to be where they are and own. I spent money on this and that was dumb. You need to take it back. And so it is cool to take it back. But I kind of have an internal rule that I rarely send something back. If I buy a pair of shoes and they don't fit, I find someone. It just forces you to be intentional. That's it. And not be mindless. And so I'll give them away. But I just am always a sucker for the next biohacker gadget. Oh.

Dude, I've got so many... Oh, I've seen you. You've had the things in your ears that, like, shoot protons and... What is it? It's like lasers into your ears? What was that one? Well, that one was about, like...

getting sunlight in your eyes andrew huberman talks a lot about that but like that's people in the in the nerd world have known that for a long time that getting sunlight inside your body is important or on your body is important and so this one company out of switzerland was like well actually you get through your eyes but you also get it through another orifice your ear and so i bought this thing that would shoot light into my ears and you know when words bother you for no reason orifice does that for me orifice is a word that i wish i could take back that i just said

Now it's on record that I said the word orifice. Well, now we have proof that you do have a PhD. Hey, we'll get back to the road in just a second, but let me tell you about Delete Me, a sponsor of today's show. If you want to clean up your digital footprint and take control of your data privacy, you need to check out Delete Me. They go in and they find and remove your info from thousands of these sketchy data broker sites that are selling your information for a profit.

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So go check it out for yourself with a sweet discount, 20% off any of their annual plans at joindeleteme.com/george or click the link in the description below. All right, let's get back to the conversation. I wanna shift to marriage. - Okay. - One of the biggest questions we get, and if you're watching this channel and if you're married, you may have experienced this, maybe you're still struggling with this. How do I get my spouse to be on the same page with money? Is there a life hack? Is there like a two sentence answer that can solve all of this? - It's not about the money.

That's the life hack. The life hack is it's not about the solution when you're sitting down with somebody at first.

what's important is to say, I don't feel safe in any number of, I don't feel safe when you drink that much. I don't feel safe. Uh, uh, Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell, they tell a great story about Dax grew up and he's really open about how he grew up. Um, but he grew up having to fight for things like literally. And when he was first dating Kristen Bell, and I love the story cause me and my wife have a very similar experience. Um,

somebody threw a huge large Coke at their car while they were driving. And he got out of the car and just beat the dude up. And it was Kristen gently and calmly saying when they got to the restaurant later, I feel less safe when you do that. And he talks about that was a big revelation. I had a very similar experience in a, at a, at a rock and roll at a punk club with my wife, me getting all macho and trying to solve something. And her saying, Hey, if something happens to you,

I'm left defenseless all by myself. The safest thing is get me out of here and get me home. And I remember being like, oh, the thing I think I'm doing to make you feel safe is making you feel less safe. Same with money. When I was like, let's do this. Let's sell the house. That's when my wife was like, hey, I feel unsafe with how chaotic you are. Forget the money part. It's hard to solve for peace when you're like chaos is the answer. That's right. And so... And I was a schemer. What if we did this? Move this over? I was just scheming all the time. And so...

getting on the same page with money almost always starts with, I don't feel safe that we owe this much money. Or we are really at on the precipice of any one thing knocks us off. And we're like, we're not gonna be able to make the payment on this thing. They're going to take our house. You're gonna take our car and just like neuroscientifically, man, your body would be failing you. If it let you sleep all night, if it knows

that one wrong thing you say in an email is going to get you fired and they're going to take your house away. They're going to take your groceries away. Your body would be failing you if it let you sleep all night because that's an emergency in your body. And so I think it's starting there. And most people want to solve this and say, hey, I got a new plan. Here's 17 things we're going to do. That's right. You've got to get rid of your things that you love. And people have to defend themselves when you come at people that way. And so...

I would say it starts with safety. And the other thing I would say is most people start those conversations with you. The word you. You keep spending too much money. You went and bought this nice car. You've got all these jet skis and the Suburban and this nice house. It puts them on the defense of me. And now they have to fight you because it's an attack. But when you sit down and say, I'm scared.

I don't know how we're going to pay this off. I watched my parents struggle all the time. That using the word I first is an invitation. It's humbling. It's submissive. And that doesn't have a lot of credence in our culture, but it's an invitation. That's right. I like that. So start with that. Start with the conversation, how you're actually feeling. Then maybe like, is there a vision casting of like, here's where we both agree we want to go. Now we reverse engineer it. And oh, the Ramsey plan is

The best way to do that. Yeah. So the question that changed my household that my wife asked me was, how do you want this house to feel like when you come home? And that started, oh, I'm not going to solve for wealth and I'm not going to solve for net worth. I'm going to solve for peace in my house. And so, yes, I would love to have $110,000 shooped up tundra in my driveway. I would. And...

Dude, I love that when my son drops something all over the tundra or bangs into it with something, my first thing I do is laugh because it costs 8,000 bucks. Like, I love that. And so I'm solving for peace. And one day I may have enough wealth that I can...

buy that hundred thousand dollars, probably won't, but I can buy a nice truck and have it sit in the driveway and it won't all laugh if somebody dings it or whatever, but I want that life. And so how do I want this place to, I want my house to feel, be filled with laughter and with joy. And that means, dude, let's drive Corollas then, right? Let's drive, let's drive used Camrys and let's live in a smaller house so that we can go do silly things and we can have pizza nights randomly and we can go on fun trips and whatever.

But that question of- Instead of lifestyle creep and pushing it all to the limit and running on it. Right. How do we want this place to feel? So, yeah, but yes, whether it's a picture of what you want this to look like, and some people do that well, or whether it's what you want this to feel like, there's some sort of end game that we're going to reverse engineer. How do we get there then? And then here's what's important. I think you have to hold that end game really loosely because it can become an idol. It can become something you worship. And-

I'm going to miss these little league games because I have to get here because we have to get this house with five bedrooms. Man, you're going to get that house with five bedrooms and you're really going to have a regretful past, right?

Instead of saying, we want this house, we want it to look like this, and on the way we realized, you know what? Going to Little League games is more fun. You've got to balance it out. Let's stay in this house. Let's not buy a new car. Let's not go to this college. Let's go to this one. And so you hold it really loosely, but yes, you've got to have a place where you're going. I mean, imagine just like signing up for a marathon, and they tell you like,

You won't know where the finish line is, and we're not telling you how far you're running. Go. You're not excited to run. Are you supposed to sprint? Are you supposed to walk? We don't even know where we're going. So you've got to have some place where you want to get to, even if your wants change over time.

Well, we know that money fights money problems are one of the leading causes of divorce. You're coaching people, talking to them on your show all the time. We're on the brink of divorce. We're getting divorced. We've been divorced. What's the biggest mistake that married couples make when it comes to money? They don't join their accounts. Oh, so very tactical. If you say, hey, we're keeping it separate, that's a red flag for you. It's the ultimate red flag. It's day one saying, you will have yours and I will have mine. And...

That's a recipe for not getting to the same place together. And so, yeah, I mean, out of the gate...

And if that makes you uncomfortable, if that scares you, if you grew up in a house where money was abused either way, if you've been in a past relationship, if you were married before and that was a bad deal, totally get that. But it doesn't make the next thing still the right thing. But yeah, if you have separate accounts, it's really, and you're Venmoing each other, you talk about that, which is hilarious. Dude, this is a car wash. You know the last time I got my car washed? When? Like 84. Oh my gosh. I love it.

I love the cleansing nature of a car wash. Can I tell you the honest truth? Every time I go through this drive-thru, the entire front of my car falls out. And I have to get out of the car and pick it up before someone else runs it over. And I have to clip it back in. I got you. It's dark, so I might need your help on this one. I got you. But this is a new segment that we're calling Car Wash Confessional, where you have to answer as many questions as you can in the allotted time of the car wash. And I have a special microphone.

That we have to answer into. Okay. So. The Car Wash Confessional. Before we get there, apparently this guy's stuck here. Can I tell you the original name for this segment? Dashboard Confessional. That Dave Ramsey did not approve. Okay. Studs and Suds. You hate it, but you love it. Studs and Suds. Dave did approve that. So Car Wash Confessional is me hearkening to my Dashboard Confessional days, which is one of my all-time favorite bands. So close. Another wasted night.

Beautiful falsetto. Yeah, old Chris C, dude. That boy can sing hi. He's up there. We're going through it. You nervous? Nah. I think car washes are one of the simplest joys in life. I agree with you. I need to take more advantage of this. There's something about, like, if you ever want a new car, get a car wash. Sit there and vacuum and get your mats all cleaned up and it'll get that new car itch. My wife did that for me. She drove my car to the airport the other day and, uh...

I think she was so just... Disgusted? Yeah. I've been in your cars. It's not great. Sometimes I'm wondering, like, did he sleep here last night? Sometimes I may have. Did a raccoon get in here? She had it, like, detailed front to back. I'm going to tell you when I got in that next time. You were a new man. I was a new man. And I went home and told her I love you. Like, that was a big one. That's true. I guess I go home every day and tell my wife I love her. But that was a special, like, thank you for that. It felt like I got in and went...

Yeah. That's what spouses are for. They do the things that you won't do for yourself. They see your blind spots and they're like, he needs this. Yeah. I love it. All right. All right. Car wash confessional. Let's do it. So these questions all come from the people also ask section of Google. Okay. So I didn't make these up. This is what the internet wants to know about you. Excellent. Are you prepared to be known? Fully known. Fully known. Do I take my shirt off? I don't think it's necessary, but I think we'd get more clicks and views.

I don't, man. I think this guy working at the car wash would appreciate it. I think it would blind the... I always love when they do the pre-wash. I'm like, I'm about to get my car washed. What are you doing spritzing down my car for? You know what that kind of reminds me of? It's like, hey, this product that we sell you isn't good enough, so I got to, like, pre-do it. Like, the car wash actually doesn't do much. It's not going to do much. You're getting neutral. There we go. We did it. Okay, you ready? I'm ready to dance. Here we go. All right, is this mic on? I hope so. Is Dr. John Deloney a real doctor? No. No.

What do you have? What makes you a doctor? Oh, I just say it. I'm just kidding. Yes, I have two PhDs. I'm not a medical doctor. I did not go to medical school, but I did go to graduate school and go through all the practicums and internship stuff. Well, don't you guys feel like dummies now? There's other types of doctors out there other than medical. What does John Deloney have a PhD in?

I have one PhD out of the College of Education at Texas Tech University in higher education administration, and I have a second PhD at the same university out of counseling education and supervision. So my technical training is I'm trained on how to teach therapists how to become therapists. That's so boring. I love it. How is John Deloney related to Dave Ramsey? I don't know. I'm his employee. Oh.

No relation. Next, how do I get on the Dr. John Deloney show? Go to johndeloney.com slash ask. A-S-K. Thanks for spelling ask for us. That was very helpful. Well, I don't want John Deloney. Don't go there. Yeah. Do not go to that link. If you Google John Deloney, you're on your own rabbit holes then.

What supplements... Rabbit holes. Rabbit trails. Rabbit trails. There we go. What supplements does John Deloney take? Oh, man. Most of the stuff I take is from Thorne. I took Thorne's testosterone supporter. There goes the front bumper. It's gone. Gosh, what do I take? I took methylated B vitamins this morning. I took my Organifi stuff this morning, which I take every day. And I took my fish oil this morning. And at night, I take glycine and 17 different kinds of...

I just lost it. What is it? Why can't I think of what it is? You tell me. We're running out of time. Magnesium. Good gosh. And creatine. And I take theanine at night. And I take apigenin. Love it. All right. Let's see. Can you go get my bumper? Can you get my bumper? Okay. Thank you. That was fun. There was a last bonus one. What happened to John Deloney? You know what? I've been asking myself that a lot. Like, I was doing all right.

And this morning you and I were standing next to each other in our green room, both of us putting on powder, getting all makeuped up, fixing our hair together. And I did ask myself, what happened, man? What happened? I was going to be a punk rock star. I was going to lead some cultural revolutions through heavy metal music. And you're just two dudes putting on some powder. Just put on some makeup to get in my buddy's car and drive around the neighborhood for a while.

It's been, it's been a, it was a, it was a sharp collapse of what I thought I was going to be. My 19 year old self would not be thrilled with our life. But your 47 year old self? That, that dude's loving life. Well, you're about to get in a wreck. You're about to get in a wreck. Oh man. All right. That was fun. I'm going to put this mic away now. I told you the bumper was going to fall off. That is simultaneously the most and least manly thing I've ever seen.

I did have one bonus question for you. That's a bonus to the bonus. Why is John Deloney so insecure that he constantly has to rag on George Campbell? Where does that come from? So my oldest friend on the planet, he's a 46 year old friendship is a paraplegic and he was in a bad car wreck after college and his little brother,

45 year friendship. Our other neighbor, Chris, 45 year friendship. One of our friends who grew up on the street named Danny who passed away about 10 or 15 years ago. Just guys that I've known since I was zero years old. To hear us talk to each other, I've had people stop us and be like, hey, are y'all friends? I thought y'all liked each other. And it just was the language that we spoke. And it's just the constant harping and ragging. So if I was to go over to

Puts her Caleb's house right now at a Ryan's house right now and walk in the door and be like, Hey guys, I'm so happy to see you. I've missed y'all. They would think Caleb would yell from the other room. You got cancer. Like they would just assume like something terrible has happened. Yeah. Um, here's a good example. One of my close buddies, just he's in his late forties. He just had quadruple bypass. When I called him the other day, the first thing I, and I didn't even think about it. It's not like I'm trying to do a move. The first question I asked him was,

Hey, dude, I heard your heart exploded. He started laughing so hard. And that was like right back into it, right? So what I guess most people don't know is that the more I rag on somebody, the more I'm considering them in my inner circle. Oh, wow. It's a giant compliment. It's the highest compliment. But I've also had to learn in the last probably 20 years at a professional level and at a personal level.

Like, it's important for me to tell other people that I appreciate them in a language they can hear. And that's just part of being mature and growing up. And one of the statements I hate more than any other is, that's just me. That's just who I am. I hate that. It's so stupid. It's obnoxious. It's dumb and lame. And it's very immature. And so my wife, she does not love ragging.

Like she just doesn't. My son loves it. I don't know who you can do that. That's it. That's it. Yeah. I can take it. Well, no, I've learned that you're very thin skinned and you're very sensitive. And I do have sensitive skin. Literally, you ruminate a lot and you take things personally. And so I've learned to just be like, hey, George, how's your day, buddy?

Yeah. Instead of walking in a room and being like, nice face. Cool face, bro. Does that smell you? Right? That's cool. I love it. Well, I'm glad you've cleared the air that we are, in fact, best friends. That's the number one question on the internet. It is. Yes. I have one other marriage question for you. What? You always ask marriage questions, quote unquote, for them. It's for them. A lot of people have been asking. I have a marriage question about you. What is the difference between...

Couples who make it and the ones who don't. Is there like a defining thing? All the research, especially by the goats, the Gottmans, all the research distills down into this. Beyond religion, beyond finances, beyond goals, beyond any of that stuff is can y'all be friends? That's it. And here's a funny thing. When I was reading that and kind of thinking through it, I remember where I was when I was reading through those studies and I started laughing. Here's why. My buddy, let's say Caleb,

If I walk in his house right now, the stream of insults that would come out of his mouth would make my wife's hair fall out, right? And that would be him saying, I love you, right? And if I was at his house, I could say, I've never left Caleb's house being like, what does he think of our friendship? It's never occurred to me.

Never questioned it. But my wife leaves out some towels and I walk in after a hard day at work, hard day YouTubing it up. And I'm like, what is she trying to say? What is this supposed to mean? She doesn't even love it. She doesn't even care about it. And so I think a problem we have with marriage, especially in America, is we put, it sounds counterintuitive, we put so much weight on it that it has no room to breathe.

Like it never occurs to me that Caleb isn't a 42 year friend and that he would storm the gates of hell for me just because he talks to me in ridiculous ways that he leaves too many cans out. Right. I just pick up the cans. And so it's the it's it was like, oh, I can just pick up the towels. If I go in and there's like, I don't know, whatever. Like my wife, I leave this in the sink.

She can. He doesn't care about me. He doesn't love me. Or she can put the dishes in the sink and we're going, because we're friends. It's not personal. We're together. Yeah. And then if there are things that become personal, like when I brought my son over to meet Caleb the first time, I was like, hey, let's... And he was super respectful because he's my friend. And some of those moments when my wife says, hey, I'm carrying way too much mental load. I'm carrying too much of the house. I need some help. Just communicate. Like, you're my friend. I'm in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so, but that distilling factor is, are we friends? Do we like to hang out? And if you lose that...

it starts to fall apart into roommate status, into separation. Scorekeeping. Yeah, like I'm doing this and you're doing that. And I do these seven things. You only do two things. And then that's when things get off the rails. I love it. Man, I've really enjoyed this. All jokes aside. I would say we should do this again, but we do do this again. Yeah, I don't know if my car can make it. We really pushed it to the limit today. The bumper fell off.

Running low here. You have a gigantic YouTube channel, over a million subscribers now. Can you do me a favor and ask the people watching out there to like and subscribe to this video and channel? That's a tall ask. I'm not tall enough to do it. That's why I'm asking you. Please like and subscribe this show. What other entertainment do you want other than people driving around in a super used electronic car? I don't know how to get any more views than this.

Go check out John's show. Read his books. He's doing good stuff. I'm proud to know him and be friends with him. And come see our live comedy shows when we're near town. Are we doing a tour? This is the announcement. We're going on the road. The fake comedy tour. Yep. Cheers.

Huge thanks to my best friend, Dr. John Deloney, for joining me in Millionaires and Cars Getting Coffee today. And if you enjoyed this episode, you're going to love the conversation I had with another doctor, Dr. Arthur Brooks, a Harvard professor who had a lot of interesting and wonderful things to say. So go check that out. It's coming up next or click the link in the description below. Thanks for watching. We'll see you next time.