What Jessica Szohr Learned About Wealth in Gossip Girl and the Money Trail of Entertainment
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Hey,

I'm Nicole Lappin, the only financial expert you don't need a dictionary to understand. It's time for some money rehab.

The money girl here. Spotted, Vanessa Abrams, all grown up. Only off screen, she goes by Jessica Zor. And trust me, her story is just as compelling. Okay, that was my best Kristen Bell impression. I also didn't know she was the voice of Gossip Girl for so long when I found out I was shooketh. But anyway, I did not land that at all.

But I tried, and that's okay. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, you probably don't know Gossip Girl lore, but you still know our guest today, actress Jessica Zor, because if you didn't see her in Gossip Girl, you definitely saw her in the Orville, Shameless, Twin Peaks, or any of the other dozens of credits on her very well-stacked IMDb page.

But what you do not know are the lessons that Jessica has learned about money throughout her career. And you don't know this because she has never actually talked about them publicly before. But today, she really opens up. We talk about her earliest money memories, like how it felt to book major six-figure modeling jobs before most of us had a checking account. And we talk about how she's been a great mentor to her friends and family.

We get into some real stuff, advocating for yourself financially, how much or how little actors talk about pay, and yes, we talk about Gossip Girl. We unpack how money was a main character of the show, what it taught her about wealth and status early on, and some real behind-the-scenes stuff like what Leighton Meester texted her when the series took off.

the crazy way she was discovered for this role, and why she had to hire a bodyguard. She also breaks down when we talk about her co-star, Michelle Trachtenberg, who tragically died earlier this year.

Jessica was so open, so generous, and so honest in this conversation about her career, about motherhood, and what she's learned the hard way. I really felt like I got a little bit of her light just by hearing her talk. And I hope you feel the same way. XOXO. Here's Jessica. Jessica Zohr, welcome to Money Rehab. I just, I love what you do. I love that you're a new mom. And yeah, all the things. How is motherhood going for you?

It's going. She's six months, right? She's six months. It's a work in progress. I have no idea what I'm doing, but we don't know what we're doing in many areas of our lives. With Bowie,

I remember my grandma once was like, just look around. Everyone had, you know, we all got through it. And it's true. Like you just learn, but it is like wild when you think about it, like you grew this human and then this beautiful human that you can never express the amount of love you have this, this amount of love. It's just like the craziest thing. And then you're just like going with it. You have to make sure this little beautiful human is eating, sleeping, staying alive, living,

I mean, it's like one day you're not a mom and the next day you are and you're just like thrown into it. It's so crazy. You're never not again. I know. You're always going to be somebody's mama. And it's interesting because I think a lot about it brings up a lot of memories.

of how I was raised and especially my relationship with money. Like I've never thought, I mean, I thought about money for the last 20 years and how to talk about it and how to talk about financial literacy and make it accessible and all these things. But I never really like dug in and I have a lot of financial trauma, but I never dug into like how I was spoken to about money and then how I want to change that for my own daughter. You know, if I heard we can't afford that, you know, growing up, did that affect how

how I looked at scarcity or abundance. Like, did that affect my mindset about money? Did that affect how my confidence was later on in my career? Like, how do I want to talk about money when my daughter can talk because she cannot talk? She could. It's so cute. Yeah.

But let's go back to the beginning of your money memories. I mean, I know that your daughter's four. You're probably thinking about this type of stuff with her too. Like what's your earliest memory of money growing up? Oh, yeah. Okay. So my dad was a spender and my mom was super frugal. Super frugal. To the point where sometimes I'm like, well, maybe that was just being cheap. They were very like on one end, totally one end to the other. My dad would, we'd come home from like...

a soccer game or something. And he would have like speakers being delivered with like these huge screen TVs and like all these like gadgets and all these things. And my mom would be like, we don't need this. This is so expensive. What are you doing? We need to save for this and save for that. So you ended up somewhere in the middle. I ended up somewhere in the middle. I'm a little bit, Brad's definitely helped me like tighten my spending. And I think Brad has a really good

take on money, view on money. He goes and talks to his business manager once a week. That was something I was like, what, what? And he's like, you need to be on top of that, going in, checking monthly, if not weekly. And I also think a big thing that Brad taught me too is like, just because you're paying someone to help with your money doesn't mean you're

Like you still need to overlook all of that. Like they can be helping you, but like you need to make sure that like your money is constantly making you money. Like just because you're paying them doesn't mean that they're putting it all where it needs to be. You know what I mean? So I think that was a big-

that doesn't mean that the other person shouldn't know what's going on. Oh, 100%. Yeah, totally. But he's really taught me a lot in that because when I moved to LA at 18, I left and I was just like an independent woman only having to worry about like my rent or when I bought my first place or pay my bills or do my investments. So when we became a team, it opened my eyes to a lot of a lot of things. Yeah, but I'm sure you've

you taught him stuff too. I mean, sister, you were modeling when you were a kid, you were acting, you had a ton of big jobs with huge companies, national commercials, you know, modeling for Jansport and Kohl's and Mountain Dew, right? I mean, you started working so early on and I'm always so fascinated with child actors who have a business manager because kids don't have business managers if you're not in this industry. Like how does that change your relationship that early on with

work and money and the value of it. I remember because I started modeling when I was like five in Milwaukee, I was with an agency, Arlie Wilson's there. And then when I was 10 moved to the Chicago agency and I remember having to like join the union at 10 and

And things with taxes. But I was so young that I didn't really know what was going on. I remember when I moved to L.A. at 18, I was like, oh, my God, I got to file for taxes. Like, I have to do this all on my own now. Like, my mom's not here. Did your mom keep your money in a bank account?

They had a bank account for me that was saved with all like the modeling and commercial money that I made because they want, they didn't want me to have to take out a loan for school. And then I didn't end up going to school. I moved to LA, but what was nice is I didn't have to move there and become a waiter right away to pay for my headshots and stuff. I was able to kind of take acting classes and focus on that, which was really nice. And I didn't really realize how special that was and how unique that was until I got there. I'm like, Oh my God, these people are like,

There's millions of people here trying to do it. You know, tons of people having to work three, four jobs and still try to make their auditions during the day. So I was very blessed that I was able to move with

money in my account to Los Angeles. So she kept it for you and sort of gave you an allowance of sorts. Yeah. And then when I kind of like early twenties, it was kind of just turned over into my name and I didn't get a business manager until I booked gossip girl. And that was kind of wild to me because when you're acting, you know,

For me, as an actor, I wanted to book a job that told a story, that people felt something, that I grew. I was never really thinking about, I need this job and I want to make money and I want to become rich and I want to become famous. It was never about that. So when you book a job that ends up

hitting the way Gossip Girl did and people responding around the world, it was like it put us on the map in a different way and financially. I mean, we were getting paid for appearances. There wasn't social media then. Like now you can get paid for posts and all those kind of things. Back then, it was kind of like you're getting paid to go to Fashion Week or you're getting paid for these appearances, let alone...

making the money on CW for a show that hit pretty big. We had to get a business manager. We had to get publicists, lawyers. I was like, this is crazy. It was also crazy how much a publicist was a month. I remember Ed and I were like, we're not paying that much a month. And they're like, you guys really need to have one. People are starting to follow you. Warner Brothers was really wanting all of us to have that. And it ended up being

very necessary and I am still with my same publicist to this day and she's amazing but that was interesting to be like oh my gosh did you know how much all this stuff was at the no not at all and you also you know bought yourself some celebratory stuff along the way right like when you first booked

Gossip Girl, didn't you get yourself a Fendi purse that's still in the family? It is. I think my cousin, my cousin Sydney has it now, but I, yeah, that was the first thing. And I'm not like this crazy designer, like the few designer purses I have. Brad's gotten me for like Mother's Day or my birthday and I don't get me wrong. I love them and I'll rock them forever.

all the time, but I just never to me was like, okay, I'm going to go and spend $1,200 or $2,500 on a purse. It just didn't like click with me that time. I'm like, I deserve, like, I'm going to pay for this, like designer purse. I'm going to go in and do that. And that was like, I remember on Rodeo drive in Beverly Hills and it felt good. Yeah.

Yeah. It felt freaking good. Let's celebrate it. You worked your ass off. Yeah. It's not about doing it every day. And it's also like, there's a sweet spot between thinking you're going to live forever and thinking you're going to die tomorrow. And I think people ended up getting stuck on both sides of the extremes. And the truth is like, you can't hoard and, you know,

Not ever get yourself something to celebrate. And also you can't spend all the things like there is somewhere in between. That makes the most sense where that is, is it for forever? Sure. Totally. I also don't really think like growing up thinking, just talking about my siblings, like I don't know. I was born in 85, but I don't really know that there was like a ton of conversation about like money and savings with my

kids growing up in the 80s. I don't know any of my friends still from high school that when we were like 15 had like this plan because their parents have talked about money as kids and then in high school. Do you know what I mean? I think everyone was like kind of focused on where were they going to go to school? What was their, you know, five-year plan?

That kind of thing. And now I think it's very different. I don't know if it's the access to the internet and all these podcasts where you can get information or that we finally realize is our, you know, our generation is like, okay, we need to talk about this. Or I just don't think it really was. I mean, do you feel like your group of friends had problems?

open conversations about money with their friend. I don't know one friend that was like, yeah, this is my parents, like not one. No. And also it's so hilarious. I mean, even now, like to talk to kids and ask them how much they think things cost, like a car or a house. Like I had no idea. I had no perspective about it. I mean, do you think about that with your daughter now? Like how to...

change that cycle or not, not that you needed to break a cycle. Cause it sounds like it was pretty run of the mill. Like your parents fought sometimes about money. It was nothing super extreme. Right. But it sounds like you wanted to change that for your own relationship and probably how your daughter learns about money from you. Totally. And they watch you for everything. Yeah, totally. And I definitely do.

want her to be aware. I also think being aware of spending, like we come up here, we're in Flagstaff and we're members here. So like when she goes to get a milkshake or get something, she doesn't see us handing over a card because we just, it goes onto our account.

which is not always cute at the end of the month. But like I said to Brad the other day, because I have a stepdaughter who's nine, like we should really explain to them this isn't free. Like that's a $6 milkshake. And so you're going to finish it or we're not going to get it if you're just like,

going to take two sips because you think it's free. And that seems very like little and not like a big deal, but it is to be aware of like we left lunch the other day and they had some friends and there was like four large lemonades, three milkshakes and not I'm not being cheap, but they were just sitting. I'm like, oh, my God, they just don't understand that like we did that all needs to be paid for.

Yeah. So I couldn't get a drink growing up. That was like a special occasion when you could get a soda or something. I remember if people had like gushers, I'd be like, oh, they're rich. My mom would never, we couldn't afford gushers to put in my lunch. So let's go back to a time where you felt like you needed money rehab. Was there something that you picked up in your thirties that you wish you knew in your twenties about money?

Yeah. I do feel like you have to remember money doesn't grow on trees. And even when you do have money coming in, you don't know when that'll stop or when the stock market crashes. You just have to be prepared, I feel like. And there was a moment in time where I was just picking up and going on trips. I was in a relationship where I was really covering everything for him, which was when I look back is like...

Wait, tell me more about that. The amount of money that I spent. You supported? It was crazy. Yeah. For like two years. And it's, I remember my mom being like, you're going to regret this and it's not just a money thing. Like this is not cool. And yeah, so I went, I like went through a lot of money and then I was a hostess at a sushi bar on sunset. And then I ended up sitting Madonna at the wrong table and I got fired. Yeah.

Wait, this was pre-Gossip Girl. Yes. Then I went and I started working right down the street at this place called Sunset Kids. And then that's where my manager, Lena Rocklin, who I'm still with, was like looking at me while I was wrapping a gift. And she's like, what do you do here? And I'm like, I moved here from Wisconsin to act, kind of did modeling growing up. And she's like-

yeah, you should be on TV. And I'm like, thanks. That's so nice. I have a manager and agent. And she's like, well, they're not doing their job. And then I took a meeting with her because I felt she just, this like really laid on my heart for like three days. I called my mom. I'm like, can you pray about this with me? I feel like there's something with this woman, but I don't want to be disrespectful to my team. But I also didn't like up and leave my family and be on the grind of this to like, just sit and wait for people. So I, I,

left my manager so that I wasn't shady and then took a meeting with her. I really had faith that like I was going to go with this woman and something was going to work out because I literally left my manager without fully signing with her because I just felt that was the right thing to do. It's kind of weird like with managers and stuff in our industry, it's almost like relationships. Like if you end up leaving your agent or manager, it's like you're like scared to call and tell them there's all this history. It's like really wild. But anyways, I ended up going with her

And two weeks later, I booked... Having a professional breakup is hard. And then you booked Gossip Girl? I booked a show called What About Brian, which is a J.J. Abrams and Brian Burke show that was on ABC. And that was my first time being a series regular and seeing quotes. And meaning like when you test for something or become a series regular...

the network has to give you a quote and that's, that's what you get paid per episode. And then as you book other jobs or test for other pilots, whether they go or don't go, they have to keep meeting your quote and your quote can keep going up or does keep going up, especially if you have a really great team like I do. So like by the time I booked gossip girl, my quote had went up a lot from different tests, deals and things like that. So yeah,

That was great. And then you never know what shows are going to hit or not hit. So when we booked Gossip Girl and signed, you know, for, you know, our deals, we didn't know after the first 13 episodes if we were going to get the back nine, if this was going to go on another season. And not only did it hit, it

it like exploded in so many different lanes. Like the fashion world wanted to be a part of our show, the music world, the industry. Like we were at every award show. We were, every designer wanted us to wear their clothes on the show or off the show. It was crazy. Like I'd be like, oh, I just have to walk outside and they're going to take a picture of me wearing this shirt and pay me that much money. This is, this is crazy.

And then on top of it, which was wild, is the amount of free shit that started coming. Like boxes daily. Like the people that can afford it get the free stuff. I said, I can finally afford all this. And when I say this, I mean that. And like, I was so grateful. I still am when I get stuff. It's crazy. But I just remember being like, mom, you won't believe this.

So how does it work? You negotiate your per episode rate regardless of if you have one line in the episode or if you're all over the episode? Well, if you're a series regular, that's a different contract than if you're, you know, come on to do three of the six episodes or, you know, two episodes or if you're a day player. So there's all different kinds of contracts and deals and things like that. And you are a series regular? Yeah. I get paid every...

My quote for that episode, whether I'm in one scene or all 42. Do you get what I'm saying? Yeah, for sure. That's awesome. Yeah, I mean, there would be some times where we would be like, oh, we're going to go to the Hamptons for the weekend. And if you only worked Monday and Tuesday, then I'd have six days off. And my friend would be like, wait, so you get paid the same amount even if you went in all? I'm like, yeah, that's just how it works. Some episodes you're really heavy in, sometimes you're not.

But regardless, you get the same amount. Yeah. Love that. Okay. You book Gossip Girl. What is that moment? Where were you? What were you doing? Who told you you got the part? Well, I remember I was like having a hard time. I was booking things here and there. I'd get like, you know, a couple episodes on this show or do this.

It was after What About Brent? And I just remember I was like, went through a moment where I'm like, I miss my family. I miss my friends. I like, cause I moved to LA. I wasn't old enough to go out. I wasn't in school and like, I would be working, but I would like go on a show for two weeks and then be done. So it wasn't like I was like growing a family. Like you kind of do when you're, you're on a show for years where you make some of your best friends, like I did on Gossip Girl or, you know, Shameless and things like that. So I was like wanting to move home and it,

My mom came out and kind of was like, I think you should just keep going. The easy thing to do would be to leave and come home. You know, we'll always be here for you. And don't get me wrong, my mom would have loved for me to move home. But she was also like, I know that you're just like kind of going through a moment.

So I kind of stuck it out. I ended up going to a barbecue. My friend and his roommate, my friend Nathaniel and Adam, who is such a weird and wild story, small world, asked if I wanted to go to this barbecue. And I was kind of like, I don't want to go to one in Hollywood where everyone just talks about themselves and this industry. The irony is that I'm sitting here literally doing that.

They're like, no, it'll be fun. We get there. We're talking about life. We're sitting around the pool. And then two days later, my manager, Lena, called me and was like, what did you do this weekend? I'm like, I went to a barbecue. I went to a movie. Why? What's up? And she's like, there's this pilot called the Gossip Girl that got picked up for the CW. And there's a role that shoots three to four episodes in New York. You were at the creator's house this weekend and they really like you for the role.

I was like, I was at Josh Schwartz's house. She's like, yeah. I'm like, oh my God, his name was Josh, but I never put it together. Never mentioned anything. It's actually funny when you hear Josh and Stephanie tell the story. They're like, we were literally whispering like, this is Vanessa as you were sitting there. I'm like, you were, why don't you say something? They're like, we didn't even know if you were an actor. So I end up auditioning. I booked it and was like on a flight like two days later. And then I did the four episodes. And then that

I feels like after that ended, I remember being bummed and that the whole cast took me to dinner. And I remember Blake being like, well, you have to come back for another episode. She can't, Vanessa can't just vanish. And I'm like, that's actually true, but they were all like cute. And I was like really sad though. Cause I was, you know, becoming friends and we were living in New York city, running around, going to concerts and plays and, and,

Just shooting the show was fun. It's wearing all the designer clothes and the storylines were so dramatic and crazy. And so, yeah, I ended up coming was coming back. And I'll never forget when Lena called. She's like, they want to make you a series regular. So then I it changed because of those three episodes. It was just reoccurring. So that's a totally different contract because now it's like years. And, you know, so that was a big change.

Huge. And also I am so fascinated because money is a big character in the show. Did working on the show change the way you thought about money or status? Yeah, because I remember when we got picked up for the back nine late in Texas, she goes, we're rich, bitch. And I was dying laughing. And then I'm like reading a script and I'm like, okay, this kid owns a hotel and drives a limo.

and the money that these Upper East Side kids are living in, in the show, but actually in real life there too. Because we filmed up there a lot. I got to know some people whose kids were in high school. That really is a very small percentage in the world that live that way. I'm not saying exactly to Gossip Girl, but living in these crazy apartments that overpopulate

overlook Central Park and are going to these school. I mean, it's it's wild. I loved Gossip Girl. Still love Gossip Girl. I feel like it's made a comeback again. My ex's daughter was watching it and I was like, this is this is like such an iconic show. And and money is such an iconic character in it. I thought, yeah,

This is just really like a good look into a world that people don't get access to a lot. As you said, you know, it's a super small percentage. The amount of money that you spend on these schools, I think is up to like a hundred grand or something crazy a year, right?

right now. Yeah. Just bananas. It just even like have the, to live in New York city, like you walk outside and before you're even in the cab or in the Uber, you're spending, you're just, I remember saying to my, to my, one of my best friends, you know, we were living there for the, like a couple of summers ago. And I remember being like,

I just walked out and spent $300 and I haven't even got a coffee yet. Like between the, you know what I mean? But it was great. It's just nuts. And it sounds like you became really close friends with your co-stars. Did you guys ever talk about money? Like, did you, is it taboo to ask your, cause now it's much more common to have salary transparency, but did you ever know what your day rate was? Honestly, I was never, yeah, I was never on any set.

where anyone had ever asked me or vice versa. I feel like it's kind of like an, you just, you just don't ask. Or maybe that's just how I feel. Cause I never have, but I've never been asked that. I mean, do you have a favorite memory from that time of your life? I mean, there was so many, so many things. I remember getting there and we were all going out and the show hadn't aired yet, but like,

There were billboards everywhere in the city and on the sides of buses. And I remember thinking, oh, my God, this shows this shows they're like putting time and money and energy into this. And I I think people are going to like it. And then I really knew that it was a hit when we had to get security guards like to walk us to and from set to our to and from our homes.

apartments and when you know paparazzi was following us and outside it was really weird because no one can prepare you for that and to compare it from going to oh you just want to book a job that you know you can pay your bills until still tell a story to like your whole world is out to the public like it was really crazy I mean we were in the tabloids every week I feel like there was like fake reporters at restaurants sitting next to us it was it was really wild to go from like

I could do whatever to like, okay, you got to kind of look over your shoulder. Would you do a reunion? I think it would be fun just because it would be cool to see where everyone is years down the line. But I just, I feel like,

We've also all moved on. So, you know what I mean? So I'm not opposed to it. I mean, that was such a big part of all of our lives and it's still a big part of my heart. I mean, it changed my life. And I also got to live in New York city and we had so much fun and there was like Ed and Chase were roommates and I lived next in the next building over. I mean, the three of us were going to like every concert, all these different like events

events and art shows and plays. And it was just, it was so fun. It sounds so fun. Do people recognize you now in Arizona? Yeah. I, my husband is always like, how many, how many legs is this show going to have? Like, is this the last part? Because I almost think the show is bigger now than it was when we were on it because it's like on Netflix. Now it's on all these different streaming. I am the oldest of five. So, and I have three sisters who are,

One of my sisters was in high school when this was going on. Then my youngest sister, I'm 17 years older than. So from the difference between them, it was so big for each sister in high school and it was all different times. So to me, I'm like, this is crazy. Like someone 17 years younger than me, her grade and age were just as into it as me.

The rest, it was, it was crazy. It's wild. I think the only thing when you go back and, and watch it, which I did six months ago, I was like sick and bad and I ended up like flipping it on. And I was like, and I never really had seen it a few episodes here and there when I did the podcast for XO or with I heart XOXO, but I hadn't seen some of the seasons and I was like, they really nailed it. Like it's,

The casting, the writing, the like just all the dramatic there would be.

15 minutes and I'm like nowadays this would you don't have to shoot anymore this would be the episode the amount of drama and like jaw-dropping moments and then the crazy outfits and then the guest stars that were coming on I mean they did a really good job the only thing I think that like you could be like oh this was longer than we like a while back this is in 2007 because of the flip phones

Do you know what I mean? Like, other than that, you can kind of it would be it could have been five years ago. You know what I mean? Yeah. This new generation is like, what's that? And I was so sorry to hear about Michelle Trachtenberg. My God. I mean, I know that when I've lost people that I knew when I was younger, it's really it's such a reminder to cherish every moment. Did you did the passing have that effect on you?

Yeah. I mean, wow. I remember being super shocked. I mean, she's, she's such a, she was always such a, oh my God, I'm going to cry. Just like such a beautiful soul and so funny. And it was really shocking. And yeah, that definitely like made me realize that life's short.

And you don't know, you know, we're not always promised tomorrow. She was really a breath of fresh air. She would say stuff. We would be like, Michelle! But it would be so funny. And she was so fun to work with and such a good actress. They would yell action and she would just dial in. It was so fun to watch and play off of. She was special. Yeah. Oh my God, sorry guys. No, I want to give you a big hug. I know!

Oh, do you need a minute? Yeah, I'm going to just get a Kleenex. Are you okay to keep going? Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, she really brought such... I mean, what she did with Georgina was so epic. You loved her, you loved to hate her, but you also rooted for her. And it just speaks volumes of how great of an actress she was. And she was just so...

professional just like always literally watching her Layton has a lot of this too it was like taking an acting class they were just like so dialed and so fun and you didn't know what was going to come next with their delivery so it kept you on your toes which I think makes you grow as an actor and I think Michelle just like was epic

I didn't mean to break down like that. I actually, to be honest, it's a lot of people reached out about it, but it's, this is the first time I've done like a interview where I've been asked. So miss her, you know, thinking about her, does it change the way you, you look at, at cherishing every moment moment now? Yeah. I, cause I feel like, especially cause she's so young. I mean, we're not promised tomorrow. We, we, we,

You do have to cherish things. Life is fragile and special. And that definitely, I mean, I think as a whole, for all of us as a cat, I think we were all like shocked and sad and couldn't believe it. So yeah, it definitely makes you like open your eyes and realize that like,

We just never know what tomorrow brings. Did you stay in touch? Yeah, we were like two people that would have more fun at an event. And I moved to Scottsdale. I know she was back and forth between LA and New York quite a bit. And she was always working. That girl was always working. Like whether she was producing something or filming something. But we definitely kept a friendship. We weren't in the same city often, but we definitely like checked in with each other and

Loved being around each other. She was, she's such a trip in the best way. Hold onto your wallets. Money rehab. We'll be right back. And now for some more money rehab, you moved to Scottsdale. You were married, beautiful daughter, stepdaughter. You mentioned that you and your husband, Brad have the same money mindset. Yeah.

I mean, he's grown. He's like helped me grow in that. Like, I feel like if he didn't play hockey, he would be a really good business guy. And he's still a good business guy. Like for me, if I wasn't acting, I wouldn't be like a great business woman. I would need like a team around me to help. I'm very creative. I have a lot of ideas that have helped me make money. And that hopefully some of these ones that I'm working on now will grow where people like it and I make money on it as well and all that. But like, he's like, could have done either one. Do you guys...

have the same bank account? Like do you check in on money often? How does it work? We definitely check in on things often. He's also helped me in a way to make sure that money goes away monthly for the girls and trusts and things like that. And then we own a couple of properties together. We have our own bank accounts. We have some that are joined. So we...

share some things, some things we have on our own. And you share like what you prioritize spending on with experiences or, I mean, you guys met at Coachella. So, I mean, we did. We're not shy to like, we love having a good time. We love going to concerts. We love traveling. He's a real foodie. I would say he's like, he's a, he's bougie. I would say a little bit as, as down to earth and, and,

chill as he is. He likes nice things, which is great. And he's worked really hard and he deserves those. But it's like funny because he'll like pick a restaurant. It's he's just such a trip. He's got such good taste. He's got great style. And he works really hard. And he's really he's really smart with his money. And it's helped me. And he's also made me a lot of money.

Yeah? How? Yeah. With different investments. Like I wouldn't have known about either of these, either of the two properties that we own. I would have never even thought to look in those places. And one property we've sold and we made a nice little chunk of change, which was great. But again, I wouldn't have probably done that investment had he not shown it to me. So-

I owe him a big hug and kiss right now. Yeah. I mean, he owes you a big hug and kiss. Yeah. And that too. This is true. What if your daughter told you she wanted to be a child actor or model? What would you tell her knowing all that you know now? Yeah. I just, it's such a crazy industry. You're told no so many times. I think it takes a while to kind of get through how hard that can be.

to where you can keep it moving and not be too hard on yourself. I think that takes, or it took me a minute. I wouldn't want to discourage her of doing something that she wants to do or loves, but I would want to have like a real conversation about like, why, what do you want to get from it? What do you want other people to see when you're, you know, telling these stories or getting into character? And I would probably want her to be old enough where she,

really can answer those. But like 10, you don't really know. You don't have enough life experience to know the kind of things I would want her to be aware of out of being an actor and being in the industry. Because it's a lot. It's a lot.

For sure. Have you started thinking about allowance with her? We, a couple months ago, were starting to think about chores and things for Lexi to kind of show like, okay, if you do these things, you can make this money and then use that money to buy certain things so that you can kind of start being aware. Not that we still wouldn't provide and get her, but like little things where it's like, okay, you want this sweatshirt? Yeah.

And we haven't really buckled down to do it yet, but we should because I do think that's important. Because if you don't have, I didn't have that. So like when I came into money on my own, I would like go to dinners or go and travel. I mean, I went through money like crazy. So I think it's important that they have some awareness of that. And it's just so nowadays with even with the cell phones and Venmo and all that kind of stuff, like they don't really, kids don't really see that.

I remember if I asked my mom for money growing up, like you got the $10. So you kind of, you watched, you know, when, when it was gone, it was gone where now it's like people have their own credit card. Yeah. You swipe it, tap it.

I just, I feel like it's weird because I feel like because of all these podcasts and the internet and all that, there's a lot of ways to help people talk more about money and saving and being aware. But I also think because of technology, there's lots where you are unaware. You know what I mean? I also wish Venmo would have been around years ago because I will say this. This is like a lesson I really wish.

I would have learned earlier is that when someone asks to borrow money or for you to lend them money, you're probably not seeing it back. Yeah. You're really probably not seeing it back. Yeah. Quite a few times. And I remember my first business manager was like, this is not, I'm just telling you. And I'm like, I know, but it's fine. And they're going through a hard moment and it's okay. And I, you know, I had to learn that it's okay to say no, it's okay that it's

The money that I worked really hard for and left my family and had lonely nights and all that just because I came into something for working hard doesn't mean that I have to feel like I owe that to other people. But I'm like a real, I don't ever want anyone that I love or that I'm close to struggling. You know what I mean? But I really wish I would have...

been wiser in my twenties with that. Not only, not only because of losing the money, but also because of the principle of like, that's not cool. And it's okay to say no. Like it's okay to say, yeah, I'm sorry. I can't.

I'm not going to do that this time or I can't do that or, you know, my money's tied up here. Yeah, that's one thing I really wish I would have been better with. Do you hold the boundary now? I do. This adage that, you know, if you lend a friend money, you decide what you want more, the friend or the money. Right. I mean, yeah. A lot of people lose relationships. Yeah. Yeah.

That's also why they say don't do business with friends and family too, because that can get hard. And what if one of your girls said they wanted to support a guy for two years? Ooh, I wouldn't like that. Yeah, I don't like that. Your mom didn't like that? No, my mom didn't. And when I look back, I don't know what that was. I don't know why I felt like that was okay. But no, we would. No, boy, no. Yeah.

So I'm a brand new mom. Do you have advice for me? There's a quote that I don't think could be any more true that the days are long, but the years are short. And it's so true. I keep saying this like, cause Bowie was my first, my first baby. I always think about like going back to the six months because everything's so new and fresh and you're like excited. But for me, I was like nervous and you're not sure what you're doing, but you're trying and you're doing your best. And

I just remember feeling like, oh my gosh, like, okay, we'll get through this, this week of the, and then it's like another, you know, it's the teething, then it's the crawling and making sure they're not getting hurt, but it's all such beautiful, amazing things. But I think now looking back, like, I'm like, oh my gosh, it all was, it wasn't that like stressful. Do you know what I mean? Like I was so, did she poop yet? I was so worried and I wish I was a little bit more relaxed because I

He was fine and everything was fine. And we got through the teething and the crawling and the, you know, when they stopped sleeping again, I, one thing I didn't know was that they, they go three naps and then all of a sudden she stopped napping at two. And I didn't know that that was like a thing at two. Oh, well then what happens? It's just at night. She just, yep. Just no napping. I was like, called my sister. I'm like, I didn't know. They just stopped napping. She's like, well, two is pretty early Jess, but yeah. Yep.

But I guess the advice is just, I also think really trying to be as present as possible. I really try not to be on my phone when I'm with my girls.

A lot of my friends are like, you're the worst with your phone. Like they'll call for like three days. I like try to check my email and stay on stuff with work. But I think being really present and just enjoy it. It's, it goes so fast. It's the best thing in the world. I write, I have a journal that I've written to Bowie since, since she was in my tummy, like about different things that were going on in the world or my emotions or things that she's going through. And I, I'm like really excited. Like,

to give her that when she's like 18 of like the different things. Yeah. But I think you're, you're killing it. What's been the most challenging for you? I think you hit on a pain point that, you know, I worry I'm a warrior. My therapist has often said like, well, what if it just works out?

She didn't have to, you know, apologize to me right after the fire because right before that I was like, oh my God, everything is great. Like what if it all just works out? And then here we are. But sometimes it does just work out. Yeah. And oftentimes we imagine the opposite. Right. What's the worst case scenario? But sometimes it's important to entertain the best case scenario. Yeah.

Yeah. Were you, I know she's only six months, but do you want like more kids? Do you think, or I would be so annoyed me asking you that is so annoying. Cause you're like, she's six months, Jess. But I mean, like, were you someone growing up who was like, I want a couple kids. I like thought I was going to have four kids at like 27 and I hit 25 and I'm like, the fuck are you thinking? Yeah. And now I have one and I'm like,

Like you, like your family. You wanted a whole, I wanted, I mean, I'm 41. I'm like, the elevator is like to fertility. But I also think this is such a fun age too. Like you've lived your life. You went through your twenties. You have this great career. You have your husband. Like, I think it's awesome because you've done

done so much. I mean, I guess this is all I know. I was 36 years old when I had her. So it's like, and you're done. If we didn't, if she didn't have Lexi, like have a sister, I would definitely want a dynamic of that maybe. But then again, I don't know when her and I are just hanging. I'm like, she's great. Yeah. I I'm 40. So I'm like, I'm probably, I'm probably good. But again, I know not 40. Yeah. It's not like off the table, but

But I also, when I got pregnant, the first house we bought together, it's actually really kind of funny. We hired Lexi, my stepdaughter's mom, Lauren. So Brian's ex, Brad's ex-wife. You guys all get along? Yes. Brad's ex-wife to be our realtor. And when she came in, when we were like closing or something, I was seven months pregnant. Lexi ran in and like hugged me.

And the other realtor was like, wait, how do you guys know each other? And I'm like, this is his ex-wife. That's their daughter. And I'm pregnant with his baby here. And she's our realtor. She was like, this is as modern family as it gets. But yeah. But we've, that's an awesome blended family. It is. It's great. But we ended up moving at seven months to Nashville. Then when she was four months, her and I moved to LA, but moved back to LA because I had to film and he was playing, finishing the season with the Predators. Um,

Then we moved to Calgary, then Vancouver, and then Scottsdale. So we lived in five different places before she was like two. So when I look back at that, I'm like, oh my God, I don't know. And Brad's like, but it wouldn't be that again because I'm not playing your show shoots in LA if that's, you know...

If we do another season there. So I feel like part of my brain goes to like, oh my God, I can't do all of that again. People are like, how was postpartum? I'm like, honestly, I don't know because I was working 17 hour days and on flights on the weekend and breastfeeding my daughter and my trailer looking like an alien. I mean, it was like a grind with a four month old. Most beautiful alien. Yeah. I don't, I kind of missed the postpartum stuff because I had to jump into like crisis mode. Right. And she's already lived. I mean, she lived in,

Our house that burned down for two weeks. My baby nurse is the one that's being a little bit of a rabble rouser. She's like, so do you want to keep these clothes or these small diapers? They never go bad. And I'm like, those are expensive. So I don't know. But anyway, that's it.

That's what's happening around here. We're doing great, Jessica. I mean, you are. That's a lot to go through. But yeah, just, you know, getting through the day, realizing that, you know, you can always get more money. You can't get more time and like such a good reminder. That's so true. Thank you for opening up to all of this. Oh my God. Yeah. Wild. Life is wild. I also wanted to say too, like,

working really hard and and it's so funny my mom always say you know people be like money doesn't solve your problems but it surely does help them it doesn't solve them but it'll help them I mean I've been broke and rich being rich is more fun yeah but I I never like when Gossip Girl hit I was just gonna say this before for like younger younger people listening I think

When you're choosing what you want to do in life and like picking a passion and working really hard at it, if you're picking something that you truly believe in and give it your all, like you will find so much happiness and the right things will fall into place. And sometimes I think that's when people all of a sudden like do fall into that.

to a nice chunk of money or a good investment and things like that because your passion and everything you're giving it's like bleeding into something and i think i think sometimes if you're going after something to make the money and you only focus on that it can cloud that yeah and we actually end all of our episodes by asking our guests for a tip that listeners can take straight to the bank so like a final tip yeah but you just read my mind

Money Rehab is a production of Money News Network. I'm your host, Nicole Lappin. Money Rehab's executive producer is Morgan Lavoie. Our researcher is Emily Holmes.

Do you need some money rehab? And let's be honest, we all do. So email us your money questions, moneyrehab at moneynewsnetwork.com to potentially have your questions answered on the show or even have a one-on-one intervention with me. And follow us on Instagram at moneynews and TikTok at moneynewsnetwork for exclusive video content. And lastly, thank you. No, seriously, thank you. Thank you for listening and for investing in yourself, which is the most important investment you can make.