A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
01:27:55 Share

Hey guys, that black friday week is here with five days of deals starting at just twelve dollars. Go to rc solutions that comes I store to check them out.

Live from the headquarters of rami solutions. It's the ramsey show where we help people build wealth, do work they love and create amazing relationships. I am racial cruise hosting this hour with ja warshaw, and we are here to take york calls and you can call us to tripoli eight, two, five, five, two, two, and will be answering your questions on life and money and career relationships, all of its, all of its.

So let's get to the phones this hour. We have amy in a penny. Ola, hi amy, welcome to the show.

Hi.

how are you? We are doing great.

How are you good? How we have really, really yeah excited to be on the phones. I have been to questions, but um my husband, I uh are different. You need to um help with overall financial plan. We have a more than over a million doll in death.

What's the end? What's what's the dead end?

Well, we went to a really long school life.

Okay.

so our walls, a million when we graduate.

Oh my gosh.

you can just cruise past that. You ve got to tell us more.

what are your degrees enemy?

So we are both in dental specialists. So you know, college what? We actually do not have any loan for college that all school, we have loans specialist a residencies. We actually didn't have loans because my house and served in the military, so they pay for that. So just four years of them alone, we have a million dollar together OK.

but you earn a lot of money, right? I sure hope so.

So we we now we came down to like seven fifty also ran of but um since is in the military uh we don't actually earn that much money. The good news is he's getting awful military and we're going to start a new job where we should uh or minimum income will be about six hundred k okay, so wonderful.

That's good. Um is this a business that you're opening a practice together? Is that what IT .

is actually know? Um we so we wanted to make sure like our life is in in a little bit less of death before we even think about opening our own required a lot .

more capable. So I know if you are working together or you just going in separate jobs.

we are working together in a pro, okay. And combine, you'll be making .

six hundred and fifty thousand.

It'll be a minimum.

yes. When does that start a summer?

Okay, so soon.

And these are guaranteed jobs and salary like this is what you're going to make.

yes. So is the per production. So you know, that's gonna a mini moment. If you make more, you know you you gone to get more.

Well, that's the great news of the story, amy. So for you guys, I mean, I would work to live on seven D, K, H, and you throw everything at this debt, and you get IT paid off in a year and a half and be done, and then go right off into the sunset making six hundred thousand dollars a year dead free.

Like your numbers sound really big, but ratio wise, it's the same as the person who calls in and sixty thousand dollars a year and has one hundred thousand dollars of dead like yes, that's right. It's IT sounds a lot because a million dollars is just a big number, but the ratio is the same. How are you living right now? Like tell me about your numbers right now. What what is rent cost? What are you bringing in right now?

So that's another question. Thanks for asking exactly my next question because we now a technical on the house but not pay off OK. So we are planning on what in the beginning, before I start listening to you that show, I wanted to eat a rent this place and buy another place in our new job will be because we have to move um and by another house. But then I was thinking that I was still so high. We decide to seventeen house he are you know the .

mortgage if you sell IT.

what will you .

bring doesn't bring much because our our financial visor told us to pay as minimal as possible. So we actually didn't pay that much of um we bought this not alone or actually not even two years ago. So we are trying to sell this. And then okay.

amy, amy, talk in the real numbers because right now you're saying like it's all kind of up here, I want to know real numbers if you buy, if if you're moving, give us more details. If you're move, where are you moving from and then where you're moving to. If you sell the house, how much will that bring in? What do you plan on doing with that money? Like give us a few more details so we can really dig in with you.

So we have a mortgage to left for about three hundred and um seventy k OK.

So you all three seventy if you sell IT, how much will you take home? Do you think after the sale.

maybe forty k and that's after fees .

and what not from the real turn, even like that. okay. So the forty k, you're thinking you're gonna ll that into a new mortgage when you move this summer for this job is at what you're thinking.

We were thinking that, but now I were thinking that maybe we should just run a place.

I'm thinking that too yeah yeah and that's forty thousand dollars more to the student one yeah yeah makes that makes some progress yeah so am here's going to be your um here's going to be your struggle. It's not going to be income and usually more talking to people like this for like you gotta get side hustles all this this. And honestly, with what you guys have, you can have this paid off in a year and a half.

But your problem is gna be amy, that you guys are going to, if if me and jay in this position, I would just tell you, like both of us with our spouse is our decisions are probably very similar in a one bedroom apartment. We're living as cheap as possible for two years. And aiming the biggest struggle is going to happen is you're going to get into this new job into dental world, where people are making insane money, which is great, and they should. They do great work, but they're going to be living insane lives. I mean, to make six hundred thousand dollars a year.

the right.

the trips, the cars, the out to eat, the parties, the game, I mean, everything you could imagine, amy, is the world you're about to step into. And you're not going to be a part of IT. And you're going to say, for a year and a half, eighteen months, twenty four months, we are not gonna live like we make sixty thousand six hundred thousand.

We're going to live like we make sixty thousand. And i'm telling you, the faster that you can just stay in this mentality and get through the same me, the unbelievably Better part, this is gonna. Not only you're going to appreciate that six hundred thousand even and more, but there's you're done with this mess.

I mean, yes, your travel is big in a million dollars is big, but it's a million dollars, I think to anyone I know it's a gas, but like it's a lot. And if you just act Normal in this, you're going to keep this around for five, six years and you'll make the payments and you'll figure this out. But it's just gonna floating where we want more our intensity and be done and then you can go get a bad day home. I mean, you so much like so much with this.

the upside is you're moving somewhere where your brand new and you don't know anyone and you don't have any to keep up. Like do you know what i'm saying? It's harder if you had been if you had called us and IT was five years later and you were in this job making six fifty, you had the house, you had the cars, you were used to this lifestyle and you had to cut back, I would be difficult.

But you haven't even got into IT yet. So you and you don't know anybody yet, there is no standard to keep up like you can fly under the radar to your thing. And then after a year and a half, you can pop out like, what's good? Let's take a trip. Yes, let's been some money.

So amy, the faster you get rid of this, i'm telling you, the faster that burden lives. And you guys, i'm so god, you found us and know you, you new listener, but i'm telling you, this is the proof in plan. So do IT do IT.

Well, we're excited for you, amy. Congrats on the big education in the big salary, but make some hard decisions here. This is the reams you.

These days, it's not if your identity gets stolen, it's win. And the only I D third protection plan I have ever recommended is from the insurance IT helps real people with real life situations like to call. We get on the show recently were a woman's abusive x open the credit card in her name and racked up over eight thousand dollars.

And that then the bank suter, even though the charges warned hers, what a mess with ander helps. She's able to get the entire nightmare cleared up and now her family is officially dead free. Listen, zander's identity, that protection is the best option out there.

They have all the cyber tools and monitoring services unit. They cover all types of I, D, and they even include up to two million dollars in stolen funds. Protection, in the end, though, you need an ally, someone on your side, to take over the work and fix the problem. That's what ander is all about. Go as ander outcome to learn more, call eight hundred three, five six, forty two, eighty two.

Welcome back to at the rams I show i'm racal cruise hosting with jay warshaw. We are answering your questions today. And if you are new to the show, love the show, listen to the show and old listener of the show, any of you I would be wonderful for you to share IT with your friends and your family.

This is one of the ways that we can spread the word. And honestly, word m mouth IT is is one of the best marketing tools that we have. Is you guys listening and watching, sharing IT with the people that you know and that you love? Because our goal for people is to get control of their money.

We want everyone to have a plan from point a to point b that is effective and helps them when IT comes to their money, to get control and to build wealth, to change their family tree and have peace, ultimately is what we're shooting for when IT comes to the subject that it's not peaceful for a lot of people. So yet leave us a review, share the show. We so so appreciate you guys listening and watching or at next we have at Jerry in clevelands hate Jerry. Welcome to the show.

Hey, rich. L, hi j, thank you so much for having me.

absolutely.

How can we help? Well, I am in. Well, James doesn't begin to explain that. I can. I'm i'm a bio cation pastor um I work uh sixty hours a week uh for my secular job in about thirty hours week in the ministry married I two wonderful boys um love my church because I love my god. You know god been good to me but um i've got back against the world, my bag into the wall, he said, is that a possible thing? I've got a mortgage just out a hand.

Um i've got two car payments that out a hand um kind of got dealt a bad hand when I came to those uh those particular debts uh got lied to in both of them uh and I know caused me a lot more and stuck me where I kind of didn't have a choice but uh, i'm i'm looking at a mortgage. You wear rampy in uh seventeen hundred dollars a month. Um i'm eighteen thousand dollars in negative equity in my car and uh that and i've maxed out my credit. I've got nowhere to go. Um and I could really use some sound double advice regulation.

Es je m so sorry, tough. I know it's it's really it's stressful and especially when you feel like you're trying to do the right thing and it's not getting traction, then that is difficult. But yes, hopefully, hopefully can help here. okay. So what do you do for your your vocational job that you said?

So an uncle supervisor, uh, and what I do is I take care of people developmental disabilities.

okay? And how much you make in that job?

Um my take homes one thousand hundred and that's five weekly.

okay. So thousand one hundred every two weeks create.

okay. So how much you make as a pastor?

What is that bringing in? My salary is uh fifteen hundred uh a month and then um I have uh, housing allowance itself like that too. I don't I don't know that figures into this.

Not though yeah he does. So what your housing and allowance because is that going for ja mortgage IT is yes.

in its nineteen hundred. Okay, good.

So is your housing .

and lowance covering your mortgage is then if you're mortgage is seventeen hundred.

yes, IT does cover that and IT usually covers most of the elected c bill as well.

Okay okay. Um yeah that's big. okay. And then how much do you on the cars um .

for mine I O just hundred twenty five thousand like twenty four seven and then uh for the other one, I O eighty nine hundred。

okay. And how much in credit card debt?

Uh, twelve thousand, five hundred for the one. And then the other one is a total of thirteen thousand.

okay.

And does your wife work outside the home at all?

SHE does. SHE worked from home.

yeah. okay. What does he earn each month?

Bring home she's about IT depends on the hours she's able to get but uh, i'd say she's about uh, eight hundred and months or so somewhere in there.

No SHE does a medical building.

Okay, okay.

So i've got you eight thousand dollars of months between the two of you, obviously seven hundred of that is going to the mortgage. okay. So help me when I look at this, i'm like, okay, mortgage is covered. There's some debt .

here like sixty five hundred left after mortgage.

So where is that going? Yeah are you guys on a budget?

Yes, um we are on a budget. Um we're we're right now too. So the credit card dead that I gave you, one of them uh was the twelve five the other two or two I am doing a dead console lidity because they were maxed ed out and I could not afford the minimum payment so I moved that in the one payment. Um and then a also i'm trying to previous or if .

you're find, you're find we have time, we have time, you're good um and .

then uh in addition to that um I I pay for my h son h he goes to uh prime Christ school that might .

be that might be an area. How older the boys?

My oldest is seven.

my Youngest four. So seven and four. How much is tuition for the private school?

IT is a thirty seven hundred, I want to say for .

the year okay um what else so you paying three hundred eight box a month for .

yeah i'm curious. Red red the sixty five hundred dollars is going because how much is how much payments for your car? How much are they for your car?

My my car is four seventy four eighty months k .

and and .

my uh I I pay for my White scars well which .

is how much? Two forty okay so i've still got you at five thousand two hundred and eighty.

Keep on okay. Um then there was student loans involved in that um and what's no more because the president, he just took those well, let's pretend.

let's just pretend. What would the minimum payment? What was IT?

Two two hundred?

Okay, my is two hundred. So now we're at five thousand eighty. Keep going. I'm just helps you work through this is not to try to call you out.

No, not at all. I appreciate IT. Um let me think then uh cell phone uh cell phone bills one ninety uh month um and then i've got uh current current uh which is up at one eight a month.

Kay um then .

uh of course you we're talking about ten, so ten percent of the amount that I .

gave you there .

so eight hundred yeah kay.

thirty nine hundred. What's spent on these credit cards?

Jared, what are you putting on the for thirteen thousand dollars in two thousand thousand dollars?

Uh well, uh a lot of that was uh just trying to make the ends meet, uh, not having enough to make the bills. Um I just recently my income is higher of the last couple months because I started .

asking for more hours at work.

okay. So that's .

new OK OK. okay. So Jerry, I mean, just looking at these numbers, there's not like a op.

I forgot the three thousand dollar bill here, whatever that IT, right? Like there's a month. There's not a big grouping hole.

I just I may just call IT out chair. I just feel like you guys have been sloppy. Would you agree? Well.

I wouldn't disagree.

Yeah I think and jar IT, and i'm going to say this because you mentioned this and and as as beliefs in this room, we I think we're spiritually somewhat can scripture is nothing good to say about debt. Nothing every time that is mentions IT is in a negative fashion. Now it's not a sand.

We're so good to have that. And it's fine if you still got your credit at that like OK, everything's fine and in that regard, but the wisdom that comes from every time IT is spoken IT IT is an a negative fashion. And so in that sense, I would say let's let's lean on the spiritual conviction that we all believe here from something that is consistent and that is eliminating that you've been running to something that is getting you deeper and deeper in a hall, right?

Um I think for you guys, if you tighten the subject, i'm encouraged by IT because I think your numbers are there. I really do. And so I went you to hang on the line because Christians going to pick up and we're going to give you every dollar premium.

And I want you to cut up these credit cards. And I want this to be a moment where a line is drawn for you all and you're going to say no more. We are not running to these credit cards to make minimum payments and make make ends me because you don't need to.

You have thousands of dollars and you have a really blessed situation, even as this as in a pastor role, to have the mortgage paid forward, the housing allowance. So like you guys are in a really great position, you're going to be work and a crap on. You're probably exhaust shared working ninety hours a week, but for a period of time.

I mean, truly, if you guys if you guys through I mean, by ground at some of this, I like you could be knocked us out, I mean, months after month. And so I thought I would get on a really type budget. But there is nothing, no expenses going out that are not necessity.

Jarred, and you guys can do this. I really believe in you. I think you can. This just has to be a turning point from here on out. This is the rainy show.

You want to leave happy memories for your loved ones. When you pass away not a mess, your family will be grieving. So don't make them spend days trying to access your computer or shift through draws full of junk.

That's why you need a knocked box. Knocked box is a complete home organization system and a state planning tool that helps you organize all of your accounts, personal history, wills, estate planning documents and all other info in one place. Inside, each kid are fifteen categories, covering everything from life insurance policies and funeral plans to your dog's vet and the code for your storage unit across town.

And the best thing about your knocking box is the checklist that tell you everything to add each folder so your loved ones won't have to guess where things are. So this holiday season, make sure you have some space in your budget for a knocked box theyll be offering exclusive deals each day this week, plus a special black friday promotion. Go to knocking box dot com, slice msy to save on a system that helps you get IT all together. That's knocks box in. Okay, box dot come sash, ramsey.

You're listening to the rams. You show I am your host rams, you personality trade warshaw. And I am joined by my cold today.

S of the Rachel cruze. I've got Rachel cruze with me to my right. And guys, we're taking calls all afternoon about your life, what's going on in your financial situation.

Maybe you have questions about things you've read on the internet regarding finance or things you've seen on the news or just whatever he's going on in your life. Give us a call. The number is triple, eight, eight, two, five, five, two, two, five.

And on the show, men, we're always talking about things that directly affect you, and we're always filtering IT through how we teach money here, which is a series of baby steps. You might hear, talk about baby step one or baby step six. You might hear talk about things like financial peace university.

You might hear is use lingo like gazelle intensity or certain things like what the hacker they talking about. So here, if you're new listener and you want to dive deeper into the ramsey baby steps, we want you to go to ramsey solutions dot com and click that get started button. okay.

And what's going to happen here is we're going to help you figure out your best next step for your financial journey are based on exactly where you're at today. You're going to get some education, some knowledge. We're gna put you on the right track.

So remember, go to ramsey solution stock com and click get started. All right, let's go straight to the phone lines. We've got mark on the line from los Angeles, california. Hey, mark, what's gone on? I'm headed out your way this evening, mark to los Angeles.

Awesome, awesome. thanks. We're take my phone call. Jade and Rachel appreciated.

You're .

cloud here .

or well. I hope the .

weather holds up for me. Yes, I know I don't think you get the sunshine this week, but appreciate IT. Hey, thanks for take my phone call. I got a question for yet.

I'm looking to purchase a third vehicle fun and it's approximately ten fifty five thousand dollars and and get three other in our house and be paying cash for IT. And I really wanted it's a pretty rare car. But I think the thing is in my heart, i'm a really good saver and i'm really good giver, but I don't really spend a whole lot of money. And so i'm just kind of torn on IT. And in my mind and my OK is to be a great lot of great family, family memories of my wife is very kid.

You're already emotionally attached to what I see.

I know, I know IT .

is mark.

must you make a year? And it's easy. Around two twenty five. This is going to probably be around three.

fifty three, very good, good income. And so you said, this is gna be your third vehicle. IT would be a .

third vehicle. Yes, really just fun to three. yeah. How much?

How much do you already have tied up in your other two vehicles? My wife .

cars was about forty five thousand, and my car was about fifteen thousand daily drivers. Yeah fifteen so I don't know. Yeah public sixty thousand. I had total tied up in cars right now.

okay. Yeah because kind of our rule of Thomas k is that we don't want more than fifty percent of your take compare for the year and will take compared to be more uh, to have motors and wheels. So you want at least half of that. But you make I mean, you make great money.

You're going to be under that yeah just barely under that under the ruler thun if you work because we just don't want so much tide in of your net worth being in you know things I wheels and motorists because those tend to go down and values so quickly. So but I mean, technically, guy, you're you're in that space. Are you guys you guys have good other savings? Do you have an emergency fund in everything?

Yeah, I have. Um how about two hundred thousand cash on hand?

K, very good. Why so much cash on hand? Yeah.

you don't have had some investments. And I we just we've been really well this year and so we had a lot of cash and I haven invested small um you know three to five percent interest in the market is like that. But you know I got have other other retirement finance already set up as well. So we're in good cheap is just a one of things. I like I said, i'm such a saver and and such a gift ages but like spending that kind of money that actually has been worried about IT sound like mom, I would just give you guys a talk that last thing, do you guys shown you have such great advice and um you know I just don't want to get something had that virtually morals or you know everything so inflated housing market, car market is so inflated IT .

is but I think you're doing gray and I think that um there's things that are part of it's just part of financial life and inflation is part of life. And I think that when you're in a situation like yours where you're done really well with your money, you've been smart with your money, you've got ta live life while life is here to live.

You know i'm saying right.

absolutely. And you know i'm guessing are the the fifty five k is that going to come out of this two hundred that's cash that you have sitting or is IT separate even .

from no IT was okay.

Would you would come out of that? Yeah and have a about two hundred thousand and retirement and then um yeah have about six hundred thousand equity in our house.

very good. And are you contributing fifteen percent or fifteen percent to retirement currently?

Yes, yes, i've get saving there and they also have a pension. Yeah the mark .

mark is a Green light for us.

That's fine. So okay, yes. yeah. Because the 信息 always put family first。 And you know this is an .

experience for you though, is what IT sounds like, right IT.

and it's all racial. S mark, if you call us and you are making you know, seventy five thousand dollars, you want to spend fifty five thousand dollars and you still have credit card, dead student lungs. And when there would be a different answer, it's all about where you're at and racial of your life.

And you're in a situation, you've set yourself up so well, so cute s to you for doing, you know the really hard work of that foundation of saying, hey, we're going na get out of debt and have an emergency fun, have some other savings on hand from doing retirement and you've done and also, well, you make great money so it's all run ratios and this is not um yeah I mean, you're in that formula, you're in that line. So let me ask this, mark, because we always this is about winds. And I say sometimes if we go to buy something that's kind of bigger and we're like h, so say, you bought this and you had no insurance at burn to the grounds you never .

have IT there you go.

Does IT make you look sleep at night besides the fact that you loved IT. And it's gone now, but just financially does IT absolutely puna panic.

No, no, no. I were very good trip like I don't know anything extra for a house payment and so very .

good I think that's a great .

emotional well.

the the answer from us is yes. Thank you so much for that call, mark. Hey, I love getting to say yes. I know I think people think we say no all the time.

We're always like, so really no, no sacrifice. Get out of death. Yes, when you done at all, it's like this. This is the live, like no one else. So later you can live and give like no one else I have to say to that is like i'm a saver and i'm a giver, but the spending is always hard and we get a lot that people is shifting that. So to actually enjoying your money, enjoying the money that you've worked for, enjoying the progress that you've made with the money, you so you if that is a reason to celebrate, to enjoy life.

and I love I want to highlight this because I think sometimes, you know, Rachel, it's intense, what we're teaching and pressure over its intense. And I think sometimes people follow that intensity, pass baby, step three, and they don't take those moments to go. Okay, like, I paid off my dead.

I saved up this money. Like I can do a little something, something for myself. And sometimes people speed right through and they want to pay off their house before they do something like upgrade ter by a car.

And i'm like, guys, no, chill out, like just cool out for a second and enjoy all this hard work that you've done when it's within reason that you write out the math for him there there's method to the madness. It's not just go spin, spin, spin. But man, you got IT learn to enjoy some of this. You've done the work and dam, you can give your money, you can save your money and you get to spend your money. That's a big part.

So love at mark. Appreciate appreciate the call because that it's like you said, jack can be it's a psychological game almost that once you have sacrifice and saved and put things away and said no, no, no, saying yes to yourself can be difficult and I can be hard. So that's why think looking at the math is so helpful because math doesn't have emotion like I didn't care.

But when you see IT, you like, okay, good. That's less than fifty percent of what we make a year is tied up. And in motors and whales and all things, we're in a place that we can do that.

Okay, this is smart. This is wise. That's the math. And that's where logic really can come into play when your emotions are all over the place.

I love that math. Math doesn't any emotions. I love, look, don't let the economy, don't let IT gone on in the world when you've done well.

Don't let IT. Don't let IT scare you into not being able to enjoy yourself. Don't let IT cripple you with fear.

And that goes on each side. Whether you're trying to get your money in place, you are trying to do the right thing. It's always the right time to do the right thing.

So don't let me think hold you back. Don't let me think scare you. This is life.

Life is signal. There ups, there's downs. That's the way the economy goes.

Don't let that scary. I'm proud of mark. He gets to buy himself a new car. This is the ramsey show.

Hey, you guys, i'm not a fan of the big banks. You probably already know which ones. I mean, but I do like credit unions because they are non profit organizations that focus on their members.

And i'm proud to endorse fair winds credit union because they share the ramsey mission of helping people get out of debt and live generously. In fact, they design products to help keep you from going in the death in the first place. Fair winds has been in business for over seventy five years, and they serve hundreds of thousands of members worldwide.

You can feel secure because your deposits are federally insured by the inc. U. A. Up to two hundred and fifty thousand dollars. It's easy to join.

And fair winds partners with more than five thousand credit union locations around the country so you can bank in person wherever you live. But if you prefer the online experience, you can log on to fair wins and do anything you could do with a physical location. So go to fair winds dot org slide ramsey to learn more.

And while you're there, look at the combined checking and savings account bundle they created just for ramsey fans to help you take control of your finances. That's fair. Wins F A I R W I N D S dot g slide RAM C.

Thanks for being with us. You're listening to the ramsey show. I'm jade warshaw, your co host, and i'm here with a Rachel cruise.

This is a great time. Hey guys, if you ve got calls, we want to take your calls. The number here is triple eight, eight, two, five, five, two, two, five.

And let's take a call, Rachel. Let's see what Megan is talking about in dallas, texas. What's going on, Megan?

Hi did hy rhee. Um so I just graduated with my master in August. However, my mother passed away in june, so sorry and yeah, i've been reading with him for some time because I had a problem. I been sober for seven years um so I was like living with I was going to school and now I have my new job and i'm making like sixty thousand dollars a year.

I have a car payment and I have some credit card that I also have fifteen thousand dollars cash in twenty seven thousand in retirement um the thing is is like I I feel like i'm not really intentional with my money because I still live with my dad. Um do I still kind of feel like a perpetual eighteen neural to the magas? Okay, I take my credit off every month, but I use my credit card so much that I think I don't save any money. So I was thinking like I probably want to just move out to, like, get more serious and independent with my money. However, part of me doesn't want to lead him right now because he hasn't even been years since my mom .

passed away. 嗯嗯， what's her passing? Was a sudden Megan.

or was IT. So he was like SHE SHE said things like twenty twenty one um SHE was doing really well and then he went to the hospital and all the other staff and he got home and then her was to shutting down so was like a really crappy um so I was kind of like my dad both believed that he would get Better and unfortunately that's not god had playing um but like I just don't know because like my dad has never made on his own he has seven brothers and sisters to install the army and then him and my mom got marry while they were both in the army so fly it's hard because I don't want to just leave him with no wine.

You know, number one, i'm so sorry that sounds just unthinkable. It's so tough navigating a loss like that. And you know i'm just thinking about in in a lot of situations, especially dealing with money, we would tell people not to move quickly, you know, take time to grieve and take time to adjust to this change.

And I feel like in the same situation, IT applies. I don't feel like you need to be in a rush to do anything like you said, he hasn't even been a year IT hasn't been a long spend of time. I am OK with you doing whatever you need to do to process this if that staying at home a little bit longer um while you're there, I do think it's important that you think about a plan of what's gona happen next.

Yeah you know because I like I got that every dollar up and i'm like looking at my spending and i'm like, holy crop girl like you're nuts with money.

You're not nut Megan with money. That's that. But you are a daughter who lost her mom. And so that brain fog, the processing that that has to go through um what you go through, it's a lot. And so was there probably some spending you did maybe to feel Better and to feel good and and and was or a level of that maybe i'm not sure possibly you could say yes or no to that, but um I don't want you to to sit there and just absolutely bring yourself at on this and you've got through A A tragedy.

And so um I think you're starting to kind of come out of IT the way you're talking and you're kind of seeing, okay, I need to kind of get into I need to get my money under control. I need to start looking at to see, okay, how can I be an adult uh but yet here's my grieving dad over here but I would say with that relationship to Megan um you know we love our parents and honor them but also he can't be your responsibility. You can't be the thing that saves him because then that's how you're going to to spend your entire life. And he has to be able to do that work on his own and he he may grieve and feel lonely and all that. And you can be a great daughter and walk beside him.

And maybe there are still a seasoning like jade said that you don't move out right now, right? Maybe it's also feels fresh and you're like, I want to get a few things under my bell until i'm going to stay here and maybe have a date that you talk to him about to say, hi dad, i'm looking at this and be honest with him and say that nervous to leave I don't want to leave you I feel bad leaving you and you guys talk through that um but also I want you to know Megan you know you you can he can be your you can't be his responsibility. He can't be your responsibility there can be that that codependence there um has to be that breaking that you do have to stand on your own at some point but again, you know have to rush that or not telling you to rush IT, I do want you to think about that you're not a bad daughter or you're not being mean or cruel if you say, man, I need to get my own apartments yes and start, you know really doing my life this way in all of that that is not negligent or cruel because .

you're both going to aggrieve in different ways. Yes, in that time, this is going to be different for both of you. So you might be at a point works like, okay, like I feel like i'm coming out this fog a little bit. I feel like i'm ready to, you know, go to the next stage and he might still be feeling like a like I could really use somebody here at the house but you know, that's when it's going to have be time to have list tough conversations. I do like that you're looking at your money and that you're realizing that something's going to have to change in order for youtube stand on your own when that time comes and I I love that you're looking at our using .

every dollar yeah I like so i'm thirty, you know I mean and like i'm so single and i'm like I wanna want to be a thirty old man still living at home sure so that's like yeah like yeah I think yeah i'm thirty. I don't have having first .

so it's like .

six and one half a dozen in the other because IT seemed like almost every day for him as bad day.

Well, yeah, has he and do you guys have a great church to go pastor, or or or a therapy or any anyone speaking into this process of your money.

he go to urge to go to share. That's great. Good at local church and i'm like trying to ease in the complain. Like he said, probably he might not.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I mean, the big goal too. I feel like I sound like doctor join loney bit. But but to become whole people through this journey as well, make and right there can be that level of healing.

And so for you that may look like the next step is to say, hey, dad, i'm going to sit down and and here's the dates you know by may of this year um here's here's what my plane is and I I still want to be there for you and still supporting you where I can and then mean, you know, as your collin for this show specifically with your money, like what jade was saying. And then you start, you can even start now working the baby steps. You can start now you have every dollar APP.

Start looking at your all your credit card debt listed out, listed out the car. Uh, keep your retirement. Don't cash IT out. But you have fifty thousand hours of cash, which is wonderful. Yep, to throw some of that at the debt. Start getting at some of these quick wins with your money and that's also gonna breathe a level of confidence for you to maybe even say, okay, I can do this and about and and start, you know, living on my own and and really taking that term because you can back and you can do this.

you definitely can. And in every dollar, one of my favorite features, Megan, is the financial road map. And you can plug in all your numbers, and you can actually start to see the date that you'll be debt free, the date that you'll have three to six months of savings.

And that's something that will build a lot of confidence and help you to see OK. What would happen if I were to put more on my debt? What would happen if I were to put less on my debt? So you can really customize that time line ARM so that this can become a real a reality for you moving forward.

Yeah and hang on the line, Megan, because we'll give you dad two separate codes to have financial c university for a year because I would love him maybe go through IT as well on his own because like you said, he's never lived on his own. He's always had someone without and so giving him a little bit of boost in this area of his life, we would love to give to both of you that so hostile pick up and give up those.

Own your path, change your future. Yes, yeah.

Throw one of those in two, thirty two of those and guys for both of them. Because we do. We we want see you and your dad, do you really well out of this really excruciating, terrible loss? I'm so sorry. I gan log called in.

That was a tough call. I appreciate you guys joining us for today. That doesn't for today show. Be sure to join us next time.

When IT comes to changing your money, you can tell me you won't do IT, but please don't tell me you can. This is the remise show. Mortgage rates have dropped, so if .

you're thinking about buying a home in the next year, contact your local churchill mortgage team. Right now, if you wait, more people will be in the market competing for the same homes and potentially driving up Prices. Churchill will help you do the math to be sure your budget is correct, making your home a blessing and helping you build lasting wealth. Learn more. A churchill mortgage dot com. Churchill .

mortgage dot m. This is a paid advertisement. One, five, one suede, seventeen and forty nine meller lanes weet one hundred and went in A C three seven zero two seven.

Live from the headquarters of the ramsey solutions. It's the ramsey show where we help people build wealth, do work that they love and create actual amazing relationships. I am at Rachel cruise hosting this hour with fellow romsey personal, they in great friend jade warshaw.

And we are taking your cause amErica free call anywhere in the country at tripoli. Eight, two, five, five, two, two, five. So give us a all are IT up. Next we have Alexander on the line. Hey, Alexander.

welcome to the show. How we are .

doing great. Doing great. How can we help?

okay. So I mean a bit of a situation here. Um so we we purchase date all we.

是 thank you。

I don't know how we got IT, but we went in with all we had. I'm kind of desperate, just wanted to get out of a twenty one hundred dollar .

rent now .

yeah and then was at a fourteen hundred dollar mortgage now um first time home buyers. We've been together in six grade um where thirty seven years old we have to um kid the gardens that just started .

between .

boys so .

um this is the new situation we closed, we moved so where I think about two hours north from his previous job and I say previous because two weeks after we .

closed he lost his job and he .

was no a car that was given to him so that he can drive to work. He was doing that you know obviously every day um and so now he didn't have a transportation to get there because I need the car to bring the kids to work .

to to school because .

they just start school this year um so he he's unemployed right now and this is my has been but i'm i'm so scared because and i'm hoping that he can get into something right. We were able to make. So we close in August. Our first um mortgage payment was on the first we were able to make that we send IT out that's done.

It's fourteen .

hundred dollars right now. yes. Um we only have like sixteen hundred dollar in savings.

Um the big thing is if he so we're we're hoping he can get into this new job next week. I'm so it's gonna be a little bit of A A pay cut. So it'll be at sixty two a year.

He was learning more goals, eighty a year. But now we're out in the country from life. This is what we wanted.

This is what we get. He's going to get paid left. So he's done at sixty two.

Can you make can you pay all the bills with him at sixty two?

I think we came because if we were already doing IT then and and and yet he was making more, but we were spending much more and then now doing that you know so we can I know we can um but this is the thing that we get to a quick um the R V. We have A R V that is thirty K A note of thirty k on IT and the payment is four hundred bucks a month. Um I don't know what to do with what with IT, because we just depart in our land.

And in is the twenty seventeen we got to desperately in a twenty and twenty one because we were needing to get our apartment that we were living in and the house that we had, we were trying to get into at that time. The are going to go through so so that I want to have to release, you know, contract. We just want our campground.

And so we got the, we got the R V. And then we discuss t um how searching, how can california? I don't know, to be honest, i'm sure it's gonna less than what we are.

Yeah yeah youll take a head on IT.

But you just trying to stop the payments and stop the appreciation .

from taking payable to make last month. But is the now in up in november, the one that's gonna hit is gonna to know how we going to do IT.

Yeah when will you know if your husband has the job?

Um he will find on monday and and I think and I wanna go with a ninety percent .

they are taking on yeah .

okay good yeah and so it's gonna be a paka you know .

um um so so I want you the first thing I want you doing um is you've got a lot going on and I can tell, by the way, you're telling the situation is like you're just like in this and you're just keep keeping going. Um and I want to kind of clear your head a little bit tonight when you get off the phone, you guys sit down, run, run the numbers, use every open up every dollar budget if you don't have the arsenal, get IT to you and I want you to run the numbers for your paycheck and his paycheck at the sixty two thousand all right.

Then I want you to run the numbers just in casey doesn't get this job and go what do we need coming in the house yet to make sure we're able to fill because once you have those numbers in your head, h Alexander, you're going to feel so much Better because at least you'll know what the real numbers are, what the anecdotes, and then they'll be able to make a game plan going forward. What I really want to home and on, and I think Rachel will do a good job with this too, is I want you guys. There's a lot of desperate moves going on.

Everything is all we ve got desperate, and we had to do this, and then we ve got a desperate and we had to do this and we got desperate. And the chain here, the pattern that happened is when you guys get desperate, you do, you make their choices. And I want that got to a stop today.

So what that looks like is in the hearing now, making a plan for the hearing now. But not only that, but going forward, I want you guys to be on a plane with your money. So you know what your goals are, you know what's going, you know what's coming down the pack and you're in control and you're happening to your life instead of everything around you just happening to you guys and you're reacting and you're on the balls of your feet all the time.

Um that's got a change. And I think that a plan for your money is gonna help you. Have you ever heard of financial peace university?

Um so no um just recently I started listening to you guys I will cycle up. I was saying the get to to be honest, I never had money in my life and both my mom and dad just just yeah they care ify so um you know I just grow up you know working in paycheck to paycheck you all my life until we were finally able to get this and I was doing that's why I say we got in yeah so happy sure sure but IT but also you are so happy.

but you also very stressed okay. So what we want you to see is in jail, exactly right, being proactive with your money versus reactive and you just set IT. And I think the way we grow up with money is a huge part of our story, and that's what I was model for you.

But now the beautiful thing is now you get to change that. So I was sure you stay on the line, owns gna pick up and we're going give you every dollar premium, which is our budgeting APP that will attach to your checking account. I will and you guys will be able, able to bring in transaction.

You'll be able in real time to be budget your expenses, what I was saying, and we're gona give you financial peace university, which is our nine less and course. And you and your husband, you guys need to learn how this stuff works. And I like i'm onna, warn you it's gonna feel uncomfortable yeah, you said you're new to all of this.

And when you you have to get to this point and you're there, if I feel that in your in your voice and why you call that you are not happy with your current situation, what you guys have done that let you up to this point, yes, he ll lost a job. And to him, I get IT happen. You are not happy with what you are, which means you have to change what you've been doing and changes hard.

Alexander is hard and so you're gonna be doing some painful things that are gna feel uncomfortable because they're new, but they're the right things to be doing. We are the best in the business. I ding people in control of their money.

So listen to the plan, follow the plan, don't straight from IT. And so looking at your numbers, getting back on paper is going to give you some breathing room. You're probably we sell on the R V.

You guys may have to take a second jobs in order to to float the bills for for the next month, which is okay. Hopefully get this job and you guys are on track. But you guys guys gets your crap together because crap together because you're onna end up in the same place again. But we believe you guys can do IT. You can you can you you got to make the change.

Body stop what you're doing. He looks the makers of the best mattress in the universe has a great sale happening right now. And I have struggled with sleeping on chrome mattress my whole life in helix has been the answer.

Sleeping on my helix matters has transformed my rest, and i'm getting into new levels of deep, refreshing sleep. And if you ever hear me talk about helix, I say this all the time. Everyone in my immediate family sleeping on the helix mattress now.

And my family is all different, just like you all are different. And because everyone sleeps in their own unique way, he looks has created different metros, models designed for everyone, like side sleepers and stomach sleeper and bleepers everyone. And if spine needs a little extra love, they have mattress for you too.

Plus, helix offers a hundred night trial, and all helix mattresses come with either a ten or fifteen year warranty. Because what I want you to do, I want you to get online and take the helix sleep quiz just like I did. It's going to help you find the perfect mattress for your sly preferences under two minutes.

And here's the best part right now, he looks is offering our listeners exclusive black friday savings. Twenty five percent of all metro or plus a free bedding bundle. Go to helix sleep dot com slash rams y for details and you can save twenty five percent off. That's helix H E L I X helix sleep dot com, less razi with helix. Better sleep .

from the grab gifts, give hope and give your budget break. Today, only you can snack some of our best selling heart cover books for eleven dollars and audio books for just five ninety nine plus select ramsey merch is on sale for the first time ever. Grab A T shirt or tumbler to show you live the ramsey way these deals in the day. So go to rami solutions dot com slice store right now, ramsey solutions dot come slice store.

Today's question of the day is brought to by why we fy why refer refinances defaulted private student loans and build a custom loan based on your ability to pay. You'll have a payment that you can afford with a low fixed interest strate that you couldn't get anywhere else to help stick your budget and to work with the debt. Snowball l, so go to White.

Ref, I dotcom toa flash RAM y, that's the letter. Y, ref, I R E F Y dot com. Ash rams, I may not be available in all states.

okay. So today's question comes from evan, kansas. He says my wife and I, or debt free, accept mortgage, which we own one hundred and twenty thousand on my wife recently quit her job to stay at home with our baby. And now, after all our basic expenses are paid, there's nothing left over.

We've been contemplating ways to save and the only area we could really cut as food, we're considering going to some of the many food pantries in our city a few times a month to get the majority of our food, so we could still have a couple hundred dollars to throw out the mortgage. Is this ethical considering I have a stable job and it's not like we'd go hungry without the food pantry? We agree that once our mortgage paid, we would donate these food pantry items to give back.

Is this the wrong way to become debt free? I'm gonna go with yes, I would not do that. I you know you said at best, evan, you said, you know, you've got a stable job and you don't need this.

And I think food countries are really there for people who need IT like the in. And there is also the side of this where, again, we kind of talk about this earlier in the show. But if you choose the stare homewood or you choose any rtp that's gonna one of the spouses not working, then you make the that bed.

And so you lay in IT, that's not a bad thing. It's just you've both decided, okay, this is going to take down our income significantly and we're okay with that. And then you've decided if this means it's going to take a lot longer to care of the mortgage, you to decide on that. And I would not use .

like community resources basically for yeah that are not of need. Yeah, I won't do IT. Yeah, I don't think .

I would either.

I wanted do that. So and I think he knows .

that to jays yeah.

he went probably be asking if he didn't feel great about IT. Yeah yes. So I think again, it's it's maybe a shift in the budget. Maybe it's waiting a year to and you'll get a raise and you can use some of that margin because when do you get to the point of paying off your house? That's where we always say you can kind of relax off the accelerator and you make decisions, then you know that maybe different then maybe that s one three .

three right um and and the baby gonna grow up and SHE might decide when the baby he goes back to work.

Guys, well, so thanks for the question. All right. Next we have a corner in Jackson, mississippi. Hey, corner welcomes to the show.

Hi guys. Thank you all for having me own.

absolutely. How can we help?

So I am a one thousand nine hundred year old college student in the mississippi area but i'm also a business owner and i'm kind of tearing on is my second college. I'm at a community college um in my local hometown and I was trying to figure out if I wanted go all and uh pursue a four year degree from a university or should have stayed home and continue working on my business.

Um what's your business?

So on the wednesday pe company IT started off as you know, just assad. No so we get first start drive and at sixteen now um just bought a push mower from home d poo .

and sort of .

moon yard and thank you. Um over time I just got bigger and bigger um now we have uh three full time mpl yees uh plus myself how much .

we make how much you making a month of this .

so IT vars obviously you know in the winter, well, IT doesn't don't do as much. But right now we're doing about last i'll say this last months, we did forty thousand sales.

What do you take home? I think .

I will. I mean, I I try to spend as much as possible. I try revenue as much as possible in some. I don't really any of an apartment I really don't .

have if you did. If you did though, because what you're talking about, not going to college at some point, then it's like, okay, well, you're going to get your own place so you going to you're going to need income. So if you did drawn income, what you think .

would .

be if I needed to, what could probably scratched out probably about sixty about in a year right now?

Oh, so so the question is you go to college or work on the business that's growing, what do you want to do on you? Are you enjoying this business? Are you wanting to do this full time? Are you going to go to? Is your is your mindset for going to college to help grow the current business or to start something new, get a different degree? Like what would be the four year college goal?

Um IT would probably like some a major right now ledge as a business administration is not in like landscape architecture or yeah you think like that. I'm not necessarily caught down to linkin, but I do I do enjoy working with my hands. But what I more is being a business owner always been an entrepreneur ever since I was Young, uh, between flipping shoes and clothes and still.

I think that's A A great indicator because obviously, the college and university route is not for everybody. Growing in your education is for everybody.

Um what I would say is really looking at your five to ten year picture, if you when you picture yourself in five years, what do you see yourself doing and when you look and then when you reverse engineer that, you go, okay, does that require me having a degree? How did I get there? Like really think through that because you know there is the societal time of when you're eighteen, you go to college. But if you're not ready to do that yet and if you can't afford to go there.

but yeah, well, mean, I going to say, you know, you go to college to either get some type of degree to get you in a field that you need, right? And there are still are definitely routes, career routes that require a college degree. And you've mention like landscape architect, right? Maybe there's architectural degree that unique because you want to work for this firm.

And five, like there's a routs, so you're getting somewhere. But I would personally, I would not go and get a business degree and spend sixty, seventy thousand because you know what corner of the onest you're learn and I have a lot more run and Young business than you're going to be. Some theory sitting in business class .

don't be behind anyway.

I am honest, serious. Ly, it's so true and like the life experience that you have is so much greater than usually what you can learn the classroom, not always yeah, but in a business entrepreneur route, people running grow businesses all the time without a college. And you're getting, you know really basic deg.

Degree there with your community college. But the thing is really smart to do. But I mean, if if your goal is to have this company continue to grow IT.

I don't think you don't need a you don't .

need a college degree to do that. So I would save the investment of what you would pay for college and continued done this route if I were you. But again, if you get into something that's a little bit more specific and tied to some type of licensing or degree that you need, then maybe you look into IT. But for now, corner, I mean, you're killing. Is there .

anybody thirty thousand .

dollars with three employees? It's pretty impressive.

Do you have A A business that doing what you want to be doing that you're watching?

yes. So I actually have tupman tours before I started my own company. When I fifteen, I worked for one of my good bodies.

His dad is evening the landscape industry for the thirty years probably and he's very large and he did not go to college user and so he he is from um a Sarah of jack and as Jackson in the metro area grew, he just like his name to spread out everywhere and denial. So that's kind of what I want to do. And I talk to him very, very often. Okay.

great. You know.

I hold on line corner and Christians GTA pick up and we'll give you a copy of on trade leadership because I think there is a what you're experiencing as a small business and you're having to lead people, which is what you really enjoy running that business side. Um but I can be tRicky. And as you continue to grow IT, there's gonna be you more avenues to go down and it's going to have a more complicated.

And then the entrepreneur side, that is so grain to you, you obviously have that inside of you, which is just amazing, so will send you a copy of on trade leadership and make sure check out even the podcast. We have a big part of RAM. C is helping small businesses because we believe in we think that is the backbone of america, and it's incredible. So corner, nineteen years old guy, a man. Kid, I see how you kid.

You're not kid. A man.

a man, yeah. But you're doing really great corner. So appreciate the call. This is the remsen show.

This show is sponsored by Better help. This month is all about gratitude, and most of us have people in our lives who are grateful for. One of those people for me is the great honor, will Thompson.

He told me at to be a dad, a husband, a professional and had a baLance caring for a bunch of people all the same time. We all know if somebody else we can be grateful for, but there's one person that we often don't take time to think ourselves. We don't always acknowledge that we're surviving that were moving forward and that we're working towards a Better life and Better relationships.

And in a world where everything's gone bonkers, it's not always easy. So here's my reminder to thank the people that you love, thank the people in your life, and thank you. Sometimes we need some professional help to talk to somebody, train to help us discover true gratitude for ourselves and others, especially in the holiday season.

That's why I recommend Better help. Better help is one hundred percent online therapy, and you can talk with your therapy at any time. So it's convenient for your schedule, just filled out a short online survey to get match with the license therapist, plus you can switch therapist at any time for no extra cost.

Let the gratitude flow with Better help is the Better help dot comes less dome to get ten percent off your first month. That's a Better help. H E L P dot com slash 的 ony。

Hey guys, George camel here, and it's that time of year again. The store shelves are packed with little Debbie, Christmas trees, matching pajama. As for you and your dog, you know who you are, and giant and floats santis for the yard.

I'm not mad about that. And speaking of inflation, americans are about to spend close to a trillion dollars as Christmas, and get this, one third of that spending will be swiped on credit cards. Yx, now I get IT you want the holidays to feel magical and you want to have a good time, but trust me, there is nothing magical about staring down a mountain of credit or debt come january.

So here's the deal. If you don't want january, you to hate december, you, i've got a money hacks oria downloaded the every dollar APP. It's free to get started and you could find an extra four hundred dollars of margin in your first months of using IT.

See, with every dollar, you'll keep your holiday spending under control. You'll track your expenses, you'll make a plan. You'll stay accountable and maybe even set yourself up with some sweet new year goals. So skip the post Christmas regret and download every dollar for free in the APP store today, your future ourself well. Thank you.

Well, come back to at the rims and show I am at to cruise hosting this hour with jade or shower taking your calls at tripoli. Eight, two, five, five, two, two, five of next we have a Sharon in spring field. Hi Sharon. Welcome to the show.

Hi, thanks so much for having me today.

absolutely. How can we help?

Well my my have been been handling our finances um for the last was the very time of twenty years. And to the point that I really don't know what's going on in our finances largely, um I say in a lot of ways, he controls a lot of what what we spend and how we spend IT. And you know we will have financial the discussions and we will talk about IT, but I don't really have a full understanding of our financial picture when we make decision OK.

And I can't getting to sit down and like a budget. Now we've been through the Randy program, and I think we've been there than twice. We've even been at a consumer debt in the past. But keeping a consistent budget is a is a problem. I am the bread winner in the family, and i'm wondering if it's worth just pulling my money out of our joint account and keeping my money separate so that I can at least budget part of what our income is.

Why won't you budget like when you say, hey, I wanna sit down and do this, what's his reason is IT he doesn't have time. He doesn't think doesn't .

like what's .

is I think a lot of IT is just understanding like how to plan for a little things that come up with the kids like, uh, if the kids need for programs or you know posters that they need to you know for school presentations you know take, making sure we've got money for those little of things and and of course, there's more than just to what the .

kids and he doesn't want to do that or you want to do that and he doesn't think that's unnecessary to plan for those details.

Um he's hesitant about the zero like the like getting all of the money and giving me a name. I hear that a lot. Take all the money, give all the money a name and you know your budget.

but is about dars in the account. Maybe that's what's making him nervous. I'm sorry for that again. So zero based budget doesn't mean zero dollars in the account, and that might be really clear, like really important to make clear to him, zero based budget simply means.

okay, so he knows that. So at the beginning of this culture, and you mention that he is he's more than the one that's controlling all the finances, what does that mean? Does that mean do you have a debt card to your account that you share with him and you go and buy the costumes for the kids? Or how was the money flow happening right now?

I do have a debit card. I spend very little of the money out of the account without at with clearing. That was him first.

because of because why why do you feel the need to ask his permission?

Because I don't because we don't have a budget. So I don't know what money is there and how to use IT.

Okay, let's get down to IT because our screen says my husband, husband holding money, husband holding finances from me for our entire marriage and that sounds different than what you are saying. So help us understand .

well yeah he does withhold all of the information about the um about the account yes so you don't .

want to you ask permission to spend because you have no idea what money e's in there. So it's just your you don't want to a blindly spend with the debit card. Can you not log in to the do you .

get an information here?

I don't currently have the log.

Have you have you asked IT for him and he what does he say?

I have asked for IT and I have tried to look at IT, not here recently, but I have tried to look at IT and i'm so warm but I don't even know .

where to start so can to you where he didn't .

give in to you um I he did he logged in himself. He logged in himself .

and let you look over .

share and that makes me nervous yeah I think at this point I would be OK with you having your own own account um but here me say here and that this um it's going to fix one part of IT that you're gonna money to be able to spend but it's not onna fix your marriage um this is a temporary solution to really die to the deeper parts to share. What makes me nervous is and we have we've seen situations like this that if you don't know where where the money is going, I would I would be I would be very highly concerns that their stuff going on that and other parts of your marriage that you have no clue about yeah you don't know what is how do you do? Do you feel that?

I, yes. Can somebody?

Yes, yes. O, K, 嗯， yeah. I would. I would start laying down and ultimately with him. And again, this is. And for anyone listening right now, this is, regardless of sharing, is the bread winner or not? Okay, so her making the money great but even if shared was I stayed home.

Mom, my viewpoint would be the exact same um because as a married couple, as as you guys, you are a team working together and he has control issues and sometimes sharing. And i'm going to just say this, and you can correct me in here, but sometimes I put you in a danger situation with a lot of abusive husbands. They use a level of power and control that you can even go to the grocery store. And has there been abused in your in your marriage in the past twenty years?

Um physical views now kay.

never do you feel like do you feel in danger? Like do do feel like there's danger in your home.

no. Um I feel like my husband is very insecure and so he's trying to keep hold of the money so that I I can't leave. I know that sounds terrible.

no. Now the truth, that's what's going on. Yeah, do you guys have kids?

We did with that two kid.

How old are they?

Almost nine and thirteen. They're about to have birthday.

okay. Um yeah, I would I would have an ultimately conversation and IT is you're gone to give me all this log in information yeah and I I want to see everything that's been going on. Any bills do you know how many credit cards he has?

Um I believe we've just got one active credit card. I would ask him the .

pool is credit report in pull yours. I want to see both of your credit reports. I want the log in information to all of our accounts, including retirements, including checking, including savings, any of those accounts.

I want to log in information and I want them tonight, tonight, because if not, tomorrow morning, i'm going to be at the bank at nine A M, and i'm opening up my own account because sharing, he has put you and he has done this. You're not the crazy one. He is put you in the situation so you're not being the bad guy here. You're protecting yourself so .

important and if you ask him, hey, because the state of our marriage, we're gonna to counselling what what would he say to that? If you said enough is enough, we need to talk with someone. What would he go or would he fight that?

Now we could not afford IT.

Okay, so those should .

make a year shame. And how much are you bringing in?

I know what my salad is. I like one hundred and five OK. Um I don't know what I actually take me he handled their taxes.

What is doing.

how that I don't know exactly um I think it's around sixty OK.

Um yeah those are .

the .

two automatons counselling in your open he's he's changing by morning or or like Rachel said, you're going on opening an account and. I just want you to know, like you're doing well, like for yourself, you're doing well and you don't have to stay in a situation where someone is abusing you financially. And i'm .

just gonna IT out that .

I know yeah yeah.

We want what what we see so much is money issues are the symptom of a lot of things going on. And so the issue of you not knowing numbers and not having the accessibility um to see what's going on financial, your home is a symptom of having a controlling husband. And there's only so much you can do.

You can change. But what you can do is protect yourself. And if you stay on the line, Christians is gona pick up.

And I want to get you with one of our certified councillors, get just spending seven minutes with you on a radio call I feel like is IT doesn't do IT justice. I want someone walking with you sharing in this because this is really important. This is really important.

And I pray your marriage is healed in this process. It's gonna a really hard patch, but I pray redemption of that, I really do. I pray that you both comes to be outside and are redeemed, ed, in this. But if not, I want you to protect yourself. This is the ramsey show.

Hey, guys, today, rams here and i've got a big announcement. I'm coming to a city near you live on the money and relationships tour with doctor john the loney. This is the most interactive event we've ever done. You get to decide what we talk about, you do not want to miss this were becoming the level germ atlanta photo x forwards and kenza city in April and may of twenty twenty five. Get your tickets and more information at ramsey solutions, not come slash tour.

So one of the expenses that is hard to face as adults, but it's true there's a couple level, but one of them is insurance. And in recent years, at a recent months and I get eighteen months now, they just seem to keep going up, up home auto. I mean, it's just IT continues to rise and according to uh, quantum information services, home insurance rates are about twenty three percent higher than they were last year. Car and insurances at thirty nine percent compared to december of twenty nine.

Yeah, it's a lot in the factors that are playing into its interesting. So even if you look at like car insurance, I mean, you do have to think about where you live in the united states uh, is climate issue are you live in a place where there's tornado s and so there's hale storms and IT damages your vehicle? You know IT could be something like, uh, I mean, wow, I decided completely link my brain out there no but I mean.

yeah, you think about what whether it's yet torito's rain, anything that can be .

dying of the thing and then you think about models, right? We're doing a lot more vehicles. There's more technology inside of them.

And so there's that part of IT. And so by and large, we're seeing an increased amount of car accidents, which is interesting. okay. So there's that playing into IT. Some people would still say supply chain, although part of me is like I feel .

like that it's pretty much caught up. I do you remember though, and in that height of coffee, you would dried by a car lot and there would be like, no cars of so easy. And now they are pretty fool. I would say the car lots are there might be some cars still on backwater, but I think for the most part, yeah, yeah, you can get if you need them.

And so you know, a lot of people are pride like, or what can we do about IT? And this right here, Rachel, is where what we teach really does play. And because if you do buy a car in cash, you run the if you bite in cash is used, then you are qualifying yourself for a lower rate. And so that right there is a good motivation.

Motivation, obviously.

the car model that you choose still place apart in IT. Uh, how old you are still plays part in the like. So all of that place apart. So there are some ways to get around this. But even when you do all those things correctly, there is still the idea that is getting higher and that just I mean, the truth is that.

that just sucks. Yeah and it's one of those expenses to that. You're like I can't do anything about IT, right?

Like when you're property texas and whatever IT is, you're just like, oh, my god. So I just feel you feel stuck, you feel trapped because you have to have IT. But yet it's one of those things that just continue to rise.

I mean, you could raise your deductable that something you could do. There is another thing about if you buy your car in cash and you have enough money saved up that if something were to happen to that car, you could replace IT in cash, then you could drop off like, uh, comprehensive insurance, uh, because you're like if something happens like natural disaster, something that's crazy, I had the cash that I .

could actually replace this.

So there's things that you could do to save on IT, but there is just a big part of this that IT is, you know it's .

frustration for sure me. yes. So there's other things that you can do um whether to look for discounts. You can even bundle policies and they get a Better deal yeah that way.

But I would against shop rates because sometimes the bundles, if really is helpful and sometimes if you're shopping from just like one career, you're not comparing Prices. Yes, you may not be getting the best Price. So make sure to your research there.

And I mean, the same is happening also with home insurance. We're seeing certain states are not willing to cover things that they once did. And again, some of this is linked to climate, some of its linked to natural disasters, that sort of thing.

And I mean, had to call the other day where a lady called and he said, i'm being dropped from my insurance because my state has decided that they don't cover you if you have a flat roof and it's like, okay, great, you know. And so all of this, at the very least, IT retiring what we teach and trying to put yourselves in a position where you can have as much peace as possible. So if these things do crop up, it's not a disaster.

It's like, okay, this is very inconvenient bit because i've set myself up, I can deal with IT um and so that's how this works um if you want to work with an independent insurance agent, uh, you can contact a ranza trusted insurance pro. The good thing about our ram's interested insurance prose is they are going to advise you and help you do things the way we teach. And so that's what you're looking for. They're not tied to anyone career and pull quotes from all companies to help pick the best deal so you can go to remedy solution that comes sash bundle to get connected .

and to start saving money on your insurance because that is a part of the budget is part life part already of next we have is that show and chicago. Hey, welcome to the show.

Hi, thank you so much for having me. I make this quick. I'm thinking of doing a voluntary reposition of my car, and i'm just wondering if that's a good idea.

Well, I well, let me rephrase that. I voluntary possesion, but i'm really trying to get rid of from that. I'm proud of playing .

a carno. I thought that was the right idea.

Yes, sell, sell, hoping to try to sell.

sell private.

not what I can.

We pay on IT.

I'm not sure if the idea OK. So here's what I would do.

I would not give you back to the dealer. I would not do a voluntary reposeful sion, even though that's not what you mean. I would never do that because that's onna, destroy your and just be headache.

And I wouldn't sell IT back to the dealer because you're not onna. Give you the best Price for the vehicle if I wear you. What kind of vehicle is IT?

IT is a beauty on coach x okay.

What year twenty twenty one? Okay, I get on Kelly blue book today after you get off this call and I would see how much can I get for this private sale. What do you oh.

on IT twenty two thousand. okay.

And just your best guess if you're like, hey, I have done a little bit research. What do you think you could get for IT?

I'm hoping to a good at least twenty thousand.

okay. So if you thought that giving IT back to the dealership would give you twenty and I bet blue booking IT you might be to break even on this.

just be sure of what you've said. yes. So what cause to to get rid of IT? Is that just because the .

payment is so high? yes. And honestly, i'm just trying to get out of da. I be mom and I, so I want to put my money into paint. Not a hard note.

not a car. yeah. Do you have any either debt?

Guess, how do you have credit card debt? Nine thousand dollars.

okay. Anything else?

no. How much you make a year?

I make sending three thousand .

dollars good for you. That's so great. Okay, what's caused you to to just up and say, I got, I want to get out a dead. I don't want to do something anymore.

I'm just thought to live in the life that i've have been living. I don't feel like i'm living like a twenty five year o you know making OK money and i'm not seeing the benefit from IT.

Yeah sure. Well done. I mean that's that's a good why we usually fine shape people that starts saying got something god to change uh a lot of IT comes like that to to say I work hard and I don't feel like anything to show for IT. It's just this feeling of I mean, there's nothing yeah you're twenty five making seventy three thousand and a lot it's great where the .

credit or debt come from because you've got a good .

income honestly, poor decisions. Um and then also before I got this car, I had a car that was giving me trouble. So I was putting some money into the put on credit or trying to get IT honest going.

I love this. I love when people stop and realized that they have a choice like you don't have to keep going the way you're being going. You have you can opt out of that lifestyle and you can go, you know, yeah, I wanted do Better than this.

I want to feel like making impact. I want to feel like my income matters. I don't want to keep living like this. So bravo.

I think so. great. Shy, have you been have you plugged in to the rams y baby steps at all?

No, not okay.

So I I would encourage to to um yeah dive in to some of the self will Christian pick up and will give you a financial peace university which is our nine week of course, that we always say every high schooler should have taken. But at twenty five, if you can get this shape because there's a process, because your emotions there, the decision in shape has been made that I don't want to live like this anymore.

So now the best way to be effective of this and to actually see a lot of impact and is to have a step by step process of what you do so. So we have to call the rem c baby steps with, the first thing you do is gna get a thousand dollars mergenthaler. Und the second thing that you're going to do is pay off all of your debt, smallest to largest.

So we d actually be you. You get to rid of this car, which is great, and knocking out the credit cards. So if you have multiple credit cards, right, each of those out separately, small lest amount to largest amount regardless of the interest rates, pay minimum payments on everything and pay off that smallest credit card first and work your way up, um I would be getting inside house so I would do anything I could to knock this out.

And again, you make some great money, so even limiting your lifestyle. Living on a budget, doing a couple of those things is going to help you. And then your next school shade will be to get a fully fund of emergency fund, three to six months of expenses in the bank of and I mean, could you how would that feel right now if you had no date and you had five months of expenses saved in the bank, would that feel amazing.

amazing.

So good. Okay, stay on the line, Christian. Pick up and i'll give you some stuff to help you on your journey.

I'm so glad that you that you call in. I know so great. okay?

Those of you with that are watching on youtube, reliving on podcast and sort of download the razi network APP. We will have the third hour there. If you're listening on radio, keep listening.

And we will be here in the next hour and saw the guys in the booth. Thank you, jade, for a great hour. And thank you, america.

This is A M.

T show, hey.

you're still here.

What are you doing? You do know that the rest of today is, show is playing right now over on the ramsey network APP, right? All you gotta do to finish the episode is search rams.

Y network in the APP store, google play store, or just click the link in the show notes to download the APP or free. Yep, you hurt me right for free. Then right there in the home screen, you can watch the rest of today's about a being about to ball, right? I'm get here. enjoy. We're see on the APP.