Don’t Wait for Someone Else To Fix Your Life
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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work, and make a difference.

that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Ken Coleman, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today, number one best-selling author, and we are here to help you. The phone number is easy. It's 888-825-5225. The call is free, and some say the advice is worth exactly what you pay for it. Allison starts us off today in Washington, D.C. Hey, Allison, how are you?

Hi, thanks for taking my call. I appreciate all the education that you guys provide. My question today is about how to help my mother recover from a romance scam. She recently found out that there's about $1.2 million missing from hers and my grandmother's estate.

And it's gone. And I know I'm not responsible for my mother's spending, but there's just very few resources out there to help someone as they recover from this kind of scam. Wow. So he has disappeared.

Yeah, I don't even think she met him in person. So this got flagged from her bank after she transferred $300,000 and they flagged that. But that was only the biggest transfer. There were a lot of other smaller transactions totaling that I'm aware of about 1.2 million. How old is your mom? She is 71. What a horrible thing. I'm so sorry.

Simultaneously makes me angry and sad. Wow. Okay, so I guess there's a couple of areas. Is your mom just lonely or is she diminished mentally? That's a great question. Definitely the first one. We thought that she might be diminishing mentally. I still hold that opinion. There are other family members that...

Is there anything left?

We've been working with the nursing home to make sure that they're going to continue her care. And, you know, it's not going to be too much longer. Who's in hospice, your grandmother or your mother? My grandmother. My grandmother. Because my mother is a power of attorney for my grandmother, which is how this came out. Because I'm like the second in line for a power of attorney. I forget that term right now. So how is your mom's successor? How is your mom reacting to all of this? Is she...

prideful towards you all, I can do what I want to do, or is she scared and humbled, take over this, I'm not capable? No, she's really in denial at the moment. I've tried to send her budgets, I've tried, you know, stuff from y'all's website. Unless she is mentally diminished, you can't make her do anything.

Correct. So all you can do is help her with her guilt once she discovers she's been scammed and that she's probably going to need to sit down and see a good therapist.

Yeah, it's almost like an addict behavior. Like I'm kind of waiting for her to hit bottom and then I'm going to try to scoot her some resources, which is what I'm doing now. No, I'm not scooting her any resources. She's not responsible enough to handle them. You've got to decide how she can manage. You can help her manage the resources she gets her hands on and manage those. And if you give her some food money, instead just give her some food.

Because we got to get a long way away from this competency issue. I can't tell why she's incompetent, whether it's just sheer loneliness and she's not a very smart person or whether she's mentally diminished. I can't tell. And you can't either is what it amounts to. So, you know, you've just got to treat her like that and go, oh, man, it's so sad. Such evil people out there.

Yeah. And have you turned this over to the FBI yet? Well, you can't if she's in denial because she's got a she's got a she's got a wallet.

Right. I think they're aware because of the conversation I understand with the bank. I do think she's on. I've researched all this. I think she's on. There's like a list. So I think it has been reported to the FBI. Okay. And if there's anything you can do to try. Sometimes, once in a blue moon, they actually recoup some of this stuff. But wow, I'm so sorry. What a horrible thing. So yeah, you're there for her emotionally. Yeah.

As she deals with the guilt of this level of screw-up, and you're there for her basic necessities, but we're not scooting her resources. She doesn't need any scooting. She needs care. You're going to treat her like she does not have competency, because she obviously doesn't.

Yeah, the thing that I would add, Allison, is you mentioned you're going to have to let her hit rock bottom, and unfortunately, you're going to have to do this. This is where role reversal takes place. You become the parent, she's the child, and it's very, very difficult. But short of, Dave, the children being able to pay for a private investigator, the only way – I hate to be so negative, but I've read into some of these things because we've taken this call several times over the last six months, as I recall –

And I did some research. Very, very hard to recover this. These people, this may not even be a real dude. This could be a woman in some foreign country. They are very creative and they cover their tracks. And you almost have to have a private investigator who's got some experience in this stuff, number one, and who you can afford, number two.

who can hopefully entrap them and catch them. That's the only way. Many times the law enforcement, Dave, just doesn't step up here because there's so many of these cases. So I hate to be so negative, but that's the reality. It's on the computer on the other end of something in Russia or wherever. You don't know where it's going. There's no telling. It's really tough. Yeah, we've taken this call a bunch over the last 30 years for sure in different forms. The Internet has made it more prevalent, I guess. But –

It's not that unusual. But so I guess, yeah, be there for her emotionally. Be there for her necessities. We're not ever going to put her in charge in the near future of any kind of assets because she's not responsible or capable or competent or whatever the phrase is we want to use. Those aren't insulting words. They're just observations of where she is, obviously. But, yeah, you don't – so it –

And there's a part, if I'm Alice, and I think it's normal for the family members, there's a part of them that are aggravated with mom. Oh, sure. For not having her crap together any better than this, you know. But so those of you out there, this happens almost exclusively to

to uh elderly that are uh by and let me back it off okay not even elderly 50 years old and beyond if you want to call that elderly if you're if you're 20 that's ancient okay but if you're 60 it's not ancient okay so but anyway 50 years old and beyond lonely and disconnected and not involved um where like if allison is the um

the successor trustee in this situation, then she leans in and is very involved in mom to where she knows this is happening. Correct. If they're disconnected even the least amount from the rest of the family and from friends where no one is raising a flag going, you're doing what? But you've got to be in a conversation to be able to say that. And that's not on Allison. It's not her fault. But this is who it happens to, the lonely. That's who it happens to. Wow. How sad.

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Some of you are aware that we coach and train and do events for small businesses. We've got around 10,000 of them right now that we're coaching all across America, and I love small business people. 54% of the gross domestic product, the economy, is created by businesses with fewer than 500 team members. Small business is literally mathematically the backbone of the U.S. economy.

And so people starting up new stuff and excited entrepreneurs are my people. I started this business of Ramsey on a card table in my living room 30 something years ago.

And today, you know, we've got over a thousand folks working here. We've got, you know, several hundred million dollars in revenue and helping people is our goal and our product. It's what we do. And I had a bestselling book teaching people about how we run this business several years ago, about a decade ago, called Entree Leadership. It still sells very, very well. Thank you guys for reading that. The Combination of Entrepreneurism and Leadership.

So today we are launching pre-sale on a book of mine. I don't do many books anymore. It's been, I think, four or five years since I've done one. And so this one is the system that we have used to grow Ramsey and that we teach Ramsey.

The Small Businesses to Grow Around America. It's called Build a Business You Love, Mastering the Five Stages of Business. We have identified that there are six things that drive businesses forward, and as they go forward, they go through five stages. Two different elements here, but much like you walk the baby steps in personal finance,

This Entree Leadership System with the six drivers and the five stages that you go through in business, and it takes decades in most cases to go through all of it, as you grow a business from an idea all the way into a multimillion-dollar thing, this is the baby steps for small business in a sense. And this is what this book does. It's the total money makeover for small business in a sense.

because it's going to show you exactly what those five stages are, exactly what the six drivers are, and exactly how to do them. And you're going to like your business better. One of the dichotomies is most of us start a business because we think it's going to be more fun than working for someone else. And then you find out you've got the meanest dadgum boss on the planet, which is you looking at yourself in the mirror. You will work yourself to death.

and you will crack the whip and do stuff. It's crazy. So you can end up hating the business that you started if you're not careful. It happens all the time. But you've got to get a thing where you're building something that you love and you're enjoying it like you did the first day you had the idea. And so build a business you love. It's on pre-sale starting today. The book actually ships on April 15th, oddly enough.

Tax day for small business people, right? And everybody else. And if you pre-order now for $29.99, you're going to get over $350 worth of bonus items, instant access to the Entree Leadership Hiring Playbook, which is one of the lessons we teach here. And hiring and firing is the biggest challenge small businesses face. It's a complete pain in the butt. And it's wonderful, both, because you get to meet some of the best people on the planet and some of the craziest people on the planet.

Early access to the e-book is part of the package, and you get the enhanced audio book. I read the audio book, but we've also put a bunch of other stuff in there. It's almost like a production of a podcast, and so the audio book's super entertaining and super cool rather than just me reading the book. It's not that. Okay, so pre-order today at ramseysolutions.com slash store. If you're watching on YouTube or podcast, you can click the link in the description. I've been doing this for 30 years. It was 30-plus years ago I started on a card table in my living room, and I don't

write about stuff that I have not done. Nothing we do at Ramsey is theory. It's all we're practitioners. We give you actionable things you can do. And, Ken, you've spoken at Entree Leadership Summit, which we're doing in May in Denver. It's a huge event at Entree Leadership Master Series, which is a smaller event for the owners of small businesses. And these small businesses really –

If you're thinking about or you are operating or running or even working for a small business, this stuff's important. Yeah, I was going to say very quickly that the timing for this is right because our audience is exploding in the podcast and YouTube space. And more and more we're seeing Gen Z call this show. So if you're in Gen Z or you're a millennial and you've just had an idea at some point in your life, I think this is a must buy. You may not be ready to launch the business.

But to understand what it takes to go from a card table, as Dave has said now just a moment ago, to a massive company with over 1,000 employees, hundreds of millions of dollars in revenue, it is a proven system. And I love the stages. They're very easy to understand but will help you see what it's going to take. And, Dave, we're seeing data now that Gen Z is the most entrepreneurial generation that we've ever had in history because they're seeing that they're –

entryway into working for themselves is easier than ever. They see it obviously through video, through digital tools, and thus it's created this great desire to work for yourself. So this book, I think, is a must gift. If you've got that young entrepreneur in your life, parents or grandparents, or if you are somebody who

thinks you might want to work for yourself one day, I think this is a must read so that you can see what the climb is going to have to look like. That's why I like this book. I think the timing of this, this thing's going to go absolutely bananas because of the day and age in which we live. Well, and if you're 52 and you have eight employees and you own a heat and air company,

I know exactly what you're facing. That's right. Other than the heat and air part. But I mean, the rest of it, I know it inside and out. And we've got you as a customer all over America, and I can show you exactly what the next steps are. It's not too late. This is not just what Ramsey has gone through. This is what we've coached these 10,000 businesses through. Build a business you love on pre-sales starting today. And Ken, I think that's a beautiful thing. If you've...

If you've got an idea of what you don't know yet, if you've not started a business, it's the three rules of business. Rule number one is it's going to take twice as long as you thought. Rule number two is it's going to cost twice as much as you thought. And rule number three is you're not the exception. This is going to be hard. It's going to be harder than you thought. And you're going to make some mistakes, and your best ideas are going to turn out looking stupid. And some of your dumb ideas are going to turn out looking like you're a genius.

And you just, it's amazing to me how much of my personal stupidity this company has survived.

over 30 years the number of dumb things that we have tried that did not work and the reason they survived was the financial underpinning we don't borrow money and following these exact steps and these six drivers are staying true to our lane this is what we do this is what we do this is what we do and we can show you how to do all that but i'm not going to tell you it's going to be easy it's not easy it's easier to start a business today than at any time in human history yes

any time in human history because your marketing is instantaneous. You've got this wonderful thing, like the old country boy said, you got that internet? I mean, you know, you got this wonderful thing out there that you can do anything with. And there's a ton of, you know, stand-alone plug-and-play products to help you, you know, run your business, help you do all kinds of things to get something off the ground. So, you know, the first time I ever saw that really was –

I was just amazed that the first time I met the guy that he made a million dollars in one year. This was 20 years ago. I met him. I made a million dollars in one year selling used golf clubs on eBay.

Wow. He was buying, you go to garage sales and buy golf clubs for a dollar. Clean them up. Buy the whole bag because people just want them out of the way. That's right. They collect, they grow like rabbits in their garage. Generally those are wives. Use golf clubs around here. Get those out of the corner. Yeah, and nobody wants the old technology, right? No. Yeah, everybody does when it's cheap enough. So he would take it, clean it, put it on eBay, and all of a sudden he had a business. Wow.

So you can decide to do something like that. But then, like a friend of mine I was talking to the other day that's in his 30s who suddenly has millions of dollars of revenue, he's now overwhelmed. He's like, I now have a business. I thought I was just a dot, dot, dot. And he goes, no, I got people working for me. Now I got all this other stuff. And he's kind of an accidental entrepreneur, if you will. And so, yeah, there's processes, though, that can get this back for you that can –

uh, help you get your life back together. Build a business you love on presale today. Uh, as I said, I don't do many books anymore. Most of our book production and writing is done by the Ramsey personalities around here and they do a great job. And we've got number ones with bestsellers with multiple number one bestsellers with all of them. And, um,

There was no need for the old man to get in the way of that, but this is my material, so I had to put it into a book. We couldn't let it just wander off into the ethos. So this way you can get your hands on it for only $29.99, and you can get a system to run and grow your business. And I got to tell you, if you're running a small business, you deserve to win. You are the right kind of people. You're the kind of people people should work for versus corporate America who will piss on you.

So, I mean, you know, you need to go to work for good people, family run businesses. They're the best on the planet. This is the Ramsey show.

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Try today and get 15% off at fieldofgreens.com slash Ramsey. Promo code Ramsey. fieldofgreens.com slash Ramsey. Ken Coleman, Ramsey personality, best-selling author, is my co-host today. Seattle is on the line. Jeremy is calling. Hi, Jeremy, how are you? Good, how are you? Better than I deserve. What's up?

Good. Hey, I just started your book this last month with my wife. We are on baby step number two. And to long story short, we basically borrowed some money from a family member, my father-in-law and mother-in-law, about a year and a half ago. And we put a manufactured home there, used the money for that. We're paying them back pretty quickly, it feels like.

Um, made a dumb decision again before I started your book and went out and bought a toy and it's kind of putting some stress on our relationship with them. They're thinking we shouldn't be spending money when we owe them money. And I just wanted your advice on that. What'd you buy? A four wheeler. Okay. What'd you spend on the four wheeler? 6,000 and we financed it, but it's almost paid off now. Okay. And what do you owe them?

About $80,000. Oof. So they loaned you the money to buy a... Put a house. Put a house. Manufactured a... A trailer. Yeah. Yes, sir. On their property? Yes, sir. So you have an $80,000 trailer and you don't own the dirt? Correct. Oh, God. Okay. Well, what are the terms? I mean, did you have a payment system with them, a certain amount you're supposed to pay them every month?

Yes, yeah, and we've been paying that on time every time, obviously. You were not, well, not obviously. I mean, you've never been late, and yet they expected that you would prepay them rather than do anything else. Why did they expect that? You know, that's a good question. Okay. And, you know, our thing is we have a pretty good relationship with them, and things just kind of got awkward.

So do I sell the toy, take a loss and move on? Do I, you're, you're the expert, I guess. That's my question. I'm curious to know if there was any pressure that you felt at any time or your wife felt at any time to a borrow 80 grand from them to then get a pre-mod trailer and put it on their property. Was there pressure there or was it just, they threw it out and you guys love the idea.

So basically we sold our house and had some money set aside to do this project. And it was just an idea that got thrown out there and nobody thought it would really work. We were able to make it work and we were pretty excited about that. There wasn't too much pressure there. It will most likely be, it will be our property at some point. So that wasn't, there wasn't too much for us on worrying with that.

Okay, there's two layers to this situation. The first layer is the simple four-wheeler question, okay? Yes, sir. On the simple four-wheeler question, I think you and your wife need to go over, ask them if you can come over and talk and have a cup of coffee and bring a pie, and you just sit down and say, okay,

We thought that we had a monthly payment arrangement with you, and as long as we were doing that, we thought we were doing the right thing. Somehow there must have been more to the agreement than we understood. Because if we go on vacation, you're going to be mad. If we buy a four-wheeler, you're going to be mad. But we didn't know that was part of the deal.

And so we need to get on the same page about what our deal is because I thought our deal was I pay you monthly payments and you're happy. But now it's I pay you monthly payments and I have to check with you before I buy anything. And that's not a deal I'm okay with. Now, agreed, you shouldn't have bought a stupid four-wheeler in this situation, okay?

That's a side. And you can say that I made a mistake. I shouldn't have bought the toy, but I'm trying to figure out what our boundaries are here so that I don't upset you again into the future and basically call them out because they're out of line. You did a stupid thing, but they don't have a right to be upset about it because you're kept your part of the deal. Yep.

I'm telling you, sell this four-wheeler and get yourself out of debt with that money. Yeah, definitely do that, but not paying towards them. Okay, that's layer number one. That's the easiest layer. Do you want me to get harder, Jeremy, or do you want me to leave you alone? Nope, I want to hear it. Okay.

You guys have made a colossal mess. You violated about six things here, and you're going to get – it's not going to turn out well, I'm afraid. Colossal rule number one is you never build a property – you never put $80,000 worth of collateral on someone else's dirt. I don't care whose dirt it is.

Period. Because you do not have control of the situation. If they are in a car wreck in the middle of the night, fall asleep at the wheel, and these sweet little people hit somebody head on, and they get sued for $200 million, the dirt under your trailer is gone in that lawsuit. And they have no control over that, and you have no control over that. So you have set yourself up, and I've seen this a thousand times in 30 years of doing what I do,

Not owning the dirt under your trailer is a massive mistake, number one. Borrowing $80,000 from your in-laws for anything, for any reason, is a massive mistake, number two. The borrower is slave to the lender, and as you have figured out, masters change the rules sometimes. You're the slave. Problem number three, you spent $80,000 on something that's going down in value, not up in value.

Trailers go down in value. They don't go up in value. So in 15 years, what's this $80,000 trailer worth? Nothing. You're burning $80,000 on your kitchen table every night a little bit at a time. So you got a massive entanglement of mess here, and I don't know exactly how to get you out of that one as easy as I did the other one. This is not a cup of coffee and a pie.

But if I'm in your shoes, I'm going to start trying to unravel this thing. If I can figure out a way to honorably do that, I'm guessing the trailer won't bring $80,000 now, right? No. Okay. What would it bring now? It might get close. There's not a lot of them around to get a good idea. Okay. If you can get out of it, I would sell it and start fresh renting somewhere.

And give them their money back and keep you from owning an asset that's going down in value sitting on dirt that you don't own. Man, this is just, it's, you're playing Russian roulette and there's three bullets in the gun.

Not one. Yeah. Dave, he's been sufficiently burned. I'll offer some salve. I got permission. No, you're right. No, you couldn't be more right. I just can't add anything to it other than to say this. Walk away from this to realize it could have been way worse, and this thing can get nastier if you don't fix it now. And I could not say that enough. You can dig out of this, but I would start digging quickly and make all these changes. And you'll look back on this and go, whew.

I'm glad I did it. It's going to get worse. The relationship's going to get worse. The finances are going to get worse. Everything's going to get worse. There's nothing in this story that turns out good. And the problem is,

To stop and say that out loud is like walking up in the middle of the town square and saying the emperor has no clothes. Everybody's going to look at you and go, but wait, your wife's going to look at you, their precious little daughter, and go, my daddy wouldn't. Oh, yes, he did. He already bitched about the four-wheeler. Of course he's going to do it. It's coming. You know what your daddy's going to do. Right. Okay. I already know what your daddy's going to do. I read his mail. Yeah.

Well, Dave, this makes me think of the classic line in the wedding vows, leave and cleave. There is a psychological reason for doing that. There's wisdom in that phrase. Not living on their land. Well, mom and dad have got some money, and they've got some land, and they were trying to do something nice, and they did a good thing in a dumb way. Yeah, that's a great way of putting it. How could you do this differently? All right, I'll tell you how you could do it differently. You carve up your property, you put a property line on it, and you give a parcel of it to your daughter. Right.

And if you want her to have an $80,000 property, have her build something on there that will go up in value and give her $80,000 of your money. Don't loan it to her and make her your slave and change the quality of your relationship. Thanksgiving dinner tastes different when you eat with your master.

It changes the relationship. And you're not the exception. No one, none of you out there. So mom and dads, quit doing a nice thing, a good thing, a bad way, and causing more problems than you were blessings. Yeah, that's right. That's poor Jeremy. I'm sorry, Jeremy, but you called and you asked. This is The Ramsey Show.

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Open phones this hour. Ken Coleman, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host. Our question of the day is brought to you by YRefi. If you're struggling with defaulted private student loans, YRefi offers a great solution to get you back on track. For a low fixed rate and more flexibility, go to YRefi.com slash Ramsey today.

That's the letter Y, R-E-F-Y dot com slash Ramsey, might not be in all states. Today's question comes from Brianna in Washington, D.C. Can you explain how President Trump's new executive order on tariffs will affect me at a personal level?

Well, my answer will be based on if the tariffs stand. Right now, there's been an extension. If you're paying attention to the news, President Trump mentioned the tariffs would take place, Canada, Mexico specifically. And then they responded, their governments responded. And so now there is a, we'll call it a waiting period to see how this plays out. But if the tariffs were to go into place,

And I'm just going to be honest. So if this offends you folks, honesty is what I'm going to go with. Tariffs will affect us. There's no question. Even President Trump has said, and I quote, that prices will go up. There's no question that that's how tariffs work. Even though a tariff is placed on a foreign country, that is on the goods and stuff that they would, of course, export to American companies. And so American companies will have to pay the tariff. The idea is to drive tariffs

American goods, which I'm all for, but there's no question that tariffs are passed on from American companies to American consumers. So it's a long-held economic strategy. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. We'll see how this plays out. It's too soon to tell because, again, we've got a bit of a moratorium. But if they go into place on certain goods and services, you will see an increase in cost. The question is,

how much of an increase in costs. And that comes down to the American company that is, again, getting goods from Mexico or Canada. So that's how that works. And I've never seen companies not pass on increased costs to customers across the board. I've got a friend building a house in Cabo in Mexico. Yeah. And he just had some of his appliances and his plumbing fixtures shipped in from the States.

Mexico adds a 33%. That's correct. 33% on top of that. So a $1,000 item becomes a $1,500 item. That's right. That's today. That's happening. Yeah, that's right. And has been that way for years. Which is why the president came out and said. Which has been that way for years. That's right. Okay. So that does not happen when Mexico sends stuff here. Correct. So we need to keep in mind that's what's really going on.

If you are an American company wanting to sell things to customers in Mexico, you face a 33% upcharge today. That's been in place for years. Did it crash either economy? No. Did it slow down the number of people that do business in Mexico? Yes.

Hello. Yeah. I mean, and that's the net, net, net effect of these things is, but this idea that somehow Americans are going to come up on the short end of the stick, not really. Canadians are really worried about this. They're very worried about it. I talked to three Canadian business people in the last week that were very, very afraid. Oh, absolutely. Of what it's going to do to them. And it's much more.

damaging to them no question so um but i do want to answer it honestly yeah honestly too you will pay more there's no question if you buy something from canada or you buy something from mexico and that goes into effect you will pay more that's right no question about it just a hundred percent the companies do not eat taxes we're going to raise corporate taxes no you're not you raise corporate taxes corporate taxes are built into the price of the item you buy from walmart

Walmart does not pay taxes. You pay taxes when you buy potato chips at Walmart. You pay all their taxes for them. It's built into the price. They don't work for nothing. You can't raise corporate taxes. It's impossible. All you do is raise prices to the consumer. Same exact thing. That's right. Here's the flip side of this. Because I was on Fox Business talking about it. They asked me what I thought about this. If the president also extends his tax

tax cuts, which will expire later this year. That would help the American consumer in lowering your cost. Of course, you keep more of your paycheck. The second thing the president, I think, will do is

I think we're going to see this soon, is he's going to cut regulation on American businesses. And if he were to lower taxes on American businesses, that also offsets tariffs. So it is, for people who are just hearing the media talk tariffs, you've got to look at the whole picture and go, okay, if he does what you're talking about, and he's now going after two countries that we do a lot of trading with, he's going, it's got to be fair. You've heard him use these words. His words, not mine. But if he also lowers taxes on American businesses and lowers regulation, then

Then you might see very little, and that would be my hope, and I fully expect him to do that. I see nothing out of his administration that wouldn't do that. In that case, you're not going to feel tariffs in and of themselves by themselves. I think that's what's going to happen. The economics is not as simple as one variable. It's not. There's more to it than that. Here's the other thing, and this is what I told my Canadian buddy. He was in meltdown mode. I'll bet. I said, I'll give you an opinion, and it's worth exactly what you pay for it.

There's not going to be any tariffs in Canada. That's my opinion. It already appears as though none of this is going to happen. And there's not going to be any with Mexico. That's my opinion. But it may require that Mexico and Canada start treating American goods the way we treat their goods. Fair. That's right. Nobody wants to get in a trade war, including President Trump. Nobody wants to pay 33% upgrade. Right.

And we do today. And so, and they want the, he wants the borders closed. So, but I think that this is a negotiating ploy on those two countries. Now, I will tell you some of the other countries where there's a massive trade deficit and there is a tariff offset, like I'm talking about, where let's say Vietnam, okay, where we pay,

If you want to bring American goods into Vietnam, you pay big money to do that. And if you want to ship Vietnamese goods to America, you pay nothing. And the trade deficit is huge, meaning that we import a lot more from Vietnam than we export to them. That's the trade deficit. So they are...

They are taking jobs from America in that sense. And, um, and then they're charging overcharging for American goods coming in. So where he doesn't want a border closed with them, where he doesn't want something else in this negotiation, that one's probably in trouble. You're probably going to see one there. That's right. And then you're going to say, if you're buying goods from Vietnam, you're probably going to see a huge increase in what the cost of that is, uh,

like I'm outlining with Mexico as an example. But I don't think Mexico or personally, I don't think Mexico or Canada, either one will ever see it. I think he was trying to get some other stuff, and he threw a grenade in the middle of it. He's a New York Street fighter, and that's how he negotiates. That's exactly right. We'll see. Now, let's bring this back to everybody else, not just Breanna who asked this question. It's a good question, by the way. I can tell you this. If you're debt-free,

And you're working your way through the baby steps. Even though it's never fun to have your cost of your household goods or the things that you do go up, you can weather that storm. And people who stand on that debt-free stage over there, they're never stressed about inflation. And so it's really important. Well, and they're not picking up goods in their house going, made in Mexico. Wait a minute. Or made in Canada. Wait a minute. That's right. There's probably not that much in your house that says that, truthfully. So, you know, yeah.

I think it's going to shake out. I think you're going to see the tax cuts extended, Dave. I think you're going to see deregulation and tax cuts for businesses. I don't think America wants a trade war with either one of their border neighbors. I just really don't. We'll see. We'll see. Let me tell you one other principle, and we can leave this alone, get all the prognostication and bull crap out of the air. Don't act on worries that haven't happened. Yeah, that's right. When it happens, you can think about it.

Until it happens it hadn't happened. Well, we might have this or we might have that. It might snow. We might not. We might have an outbreak of the bird flu. We might not. We might have a, and we might not. And if you spend your life doing that, you're going to eat up all your calories and have no fun.

So I'm serious. It's just don't do that on anything, tariffs, politics, Trump being elected, Trump not being elected, whatever. Whatever it is you want to, you know, until it actually occurs and you actually see it in your hand messing with your wallet, then I would start making some adjustments to offset and say, well, I'm going to have to change the way I do that.

But until then, it's all a bunch of malarkey on the news. And believe me, most of what's on the news is malarkey. This is The Ramsey Show.

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Defense sprays and body armor are also 10% off for our listeners. Just go to Burna.com slash Dave to learn more. That's B-Y-R-N-A dot com slash Dave. Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love.

and create actual amazing relationships. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Ken Coleman, Ramsey personality, number one best-selling author, and host of the brand-new, super-popular podcast that we just launched called Front Row Seat. Be sure you check it out on Ramsey Networks. Open phones here at 888-825-5225. Joe is with us in Salt Lake City. Hi, Joe. How are you? Doing good. How are you doing? Better than I deserve. What's up?

Hi. So I'm calling. I'm curious. So me and my girlfriend are going to be moving in together, and I'm curious whether I should be covering the bills or not. No. All right. Are you ready for some context? I was waiting on Dave on that one. That's why I got out in front. What's the context? So I'm from Salt Lake City. She's from Salt Lake City. I work out of state. So I'm moving out of state to Cleveland, Ohio. She's going to be moving with me. Okay.

And her work is very clientele-based, so she will have practically zero business out there. And I make more than enough to provide for both of us. How old is she? Not necessarily that I need to. Sorry, say that again? How old is she? We are both 19 years old. What does she do for a living? Cosmetology. Okay. So she's going to give up her life and follow you, and you're not even going to marry her?

I will. I will. Shortly. Well, go ahead. Within like a year. Go ahead, then. If you were her dad, you'd tell her not to do this. Yeah. I mean, I mean. Or maybe not. I think I'm a good guy. I didn't think you're a bad guy. I just said marry the girl. Put a ring on it, buddy. That's all I said.

Because I'm telling you, she's in danger. Not physically, not emotionally. You're not a bad guy. But she is very vulnerable economically because she's become dependent on a 19-year-old that she's not married to in another city where she has no connections and no family. And she has no income.

She can, she, she's vulnerable and that's not, it's not wise for her. And that, that vulnerability, that anxiety that goes with that is going to affect your relationship. And you guys don't see that you just are young and in love and you think this is all going to work as long as the sex is good. Whoa. Yeah. I mean, why a year from now, hold on, let's play out your thing. You told day, well, we're going to a year from now. So what's going to change between now and then, uh, for you to marry her instead of now a year from now, what changes?

Um, so I work, I just work in the summer months and, um, and so I'm like, I'm like waiting to get back from working for the year and being able to like actually have open time, um, where then I could devote like majority of my energy, a majority of like what I need to emotionally to a relationship. This is a disaster. Hey, listen, if you're going to do that, um, you know, that's when you get married. No. And, and,

Moving in together is, you would have to pay the bills because she has no money, is the answer to your original question, isn't it? Well, yeah. I mean, and she could get like a basic job, but... Yeah, but I mean, she can't exist. She can't subsist if she follows this along without you. So she's trapped. That's what I'm telling you. And economically, and your brain knows the math, right?

and your body stores the stress from your brain, and she can't keep that from happening, it's going to affect your relationship negatively. So if you're going to go do this, just call the preacher and say, hey, where do you want to get married before we move over there? It will change the environment because then she knows you're legally bound to

care for her she's legally bound to care for you because you're legally don't own anything separately anymore because you're now what we call married and so that's going to be healthier for her emotionally for your relationship long term and it will change everything and if you're not able to commit to that emotionally you should not put her in this state of vulnerability because you're a good guy and you wouldn't do that

I'm going to go, I'm going to go, I'm going to take another tack here real quick. I think that you need to tell her it's a really bad idea and you've seen the light and you guys need to figure out if you really do want to spend the rest of your life together, not play house. I would actually go and she stays back home. You guys figure out if you can do a long distance relationship before you do this nonsense.

If I was this girl's father, I'd be in your grill, man. That may not be popular, but I really don't care. I think this is crazy. I'd want you to prove to me as this girl's father that

that you're willing to be mature and put you two in front of your desire. I think that's what I would do and see if she's willing to do it. See if you're willing to do the long distance relationship. And while I'm ranting, when it's time, if you guys prove that you can do this, she can come visit for a little bit and get a job. I'm pretty sure they have plenty of hairdressers that need somebody to cut hair in Cleveland.

So this is not this all-in scenario, Dave. I don't like it. I think it's foolish. Joe, I mean, you called and asked, and we're being pretty brutal with you and messing up your plan. But that's, you know, what we're thinking like here is like her old ugly uncle because I pretty much qualify for all of that. I think I'm handsome. I said we, me, but yeah.

But I'm saying, you know, what would you do? And you said, I wouldn't. When I asked you, would you want your daughter to do this? You said, no, I wouldn't. So you need to think about how you answer that because you answered that honestly. And I do think you're a good guy. I'm not questioning your integrity or your intent or anything. And I'm not saying you're a substandard person in any way. But there's implications to what you're doing that you don't know about or haven't thought through.

And then I'll just stop a second and say that for the rest of you out there, because today in America, more couples live together, not married than married statistically. Now, for those of you that grew up with leave it to beaver in an alternative universe, that's shocking to you. More people live together, not married than married. The downside is, is that the data is now in.

We see the data, and we track the data. It's our world. And the data says that married couples far exceed unmarried couples living together in their financial goals and wealth building. Far exceed. The researchers call it the marriage advantage problem.

And it's probably deeper than just combining of the two incomes and that kind of a thing. Our theory is, and we've not been able to research this and prove it, but you can just listen with me and think about it, guys. But our theory is simply this, that when both of you are permanently promised to each other's future with a contract called marriage, it causes a differentiation in your behaviors, right?

versus I've got to always have an out. I've always have an exit. I got to always have a, what happens if he moves out? What happens if he leaves me with these two kids? What happens if, you know, all those kinds of things that can happen in marriage is called divorce, but you get this thing called child support, alimony, and half the assets. You don't get that when you're cohabitating.

Even with a cohabitation contract, they don't stand up in most states to the level that marriage does. So we can discuss how it gets there, but the data is undeniable. Married couples far exceed in wealth building to unmarried couples living together. Far exceed. And you can just look at it through the wealth building lens or you can look at it through other lenses, but that's the one that I've got data on. This is The Ramsey Show.

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Hey guys, Rachel Cruz here. All right, I'm about to say what everyone already knows, but budgeting is a good thing to do. Now actually starting, well, that's where people freeze up. And you guys, it doesn't have to be that way. With the EveryDollar budgeting app, getting started is super easy and so is sticking to it. You can set up your first budget in less time than it takes to go through the Chick-fil-A drive-thru. It's fast. And the best part is

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Every dollar keeps budgeting simple and stress-free, just the way you want it. So go download the app for free and get started today. Again, go download EveryDollar today. Ken Coleman Ramsey personality is my co-host today. He is the host of the brand new show called Front Row Seat. Ken, Front Row Seat came out of the gate really fast, no pun intended. It's a

An interview program where you are the master interviewer, which you are, long form. One of the first ones you did was Nikki Haley. That's right. And Nikki's been a friend for years and, of course, was governor and ambassador of the U.N., governor of South Carolina, ran for president, last one standing against Trump running for president on the Republican ticket. Exactly.

she was a great interview. Yeah, really, really great. You know, we did not talk politics. We talked leadership, something that she knows a lot about, having faced one of the biggest racial crises of our modern era. If you remember the tragic shooting in South Carolina, we talked about building a team. You know, she's been very successful in many walks of life. So the idea behind the show is very simple. We want to have the audience feel as though... And you have a live audience. Live audience. And so they represent the

greater audience. When you see people sitting around or you hear them ask a question, if you're listening via podcast, they really symbolize you, the audience. And so we're very excited to bring this format, something I've always wanted to do. And it takes the level of, I feel like I'm just an observer, and it makes it feel like you're engaged. The team has done a great job. It's beautiful. If you want to watch it on YouTube, it's just a fabulous studio.

Very warm and inviting. And then, of course, the audio product on your favorite podcast app. It is a show that you're going to be challenged every time you're going to learn something. And we're going to challenge you to do something. So most of the time you're doing about 80% of the question asking and the audience are doing about 20%? Yeah, I would say it's a conversation. It's not even so much just the back and forth question, but a conversation with me and the guests for probably six,

you're right, 80% of it and then the audience themselves at any time can interrupt and raise their hand and ask a question. We want that studio audience to feel free. If you've heard something that you can jump right in and ask and so once we get that finished product out, it's just a beautiful mix and people are really enjoying it. Yeah.

And the first several are in the can, and you can watch them now on YouTube. New episode comes out every Tuesday morning on YouTube and your favorite podcast app. Yep. So you can get it as a podcast or as a YouTube product, and it's just really quality. We're real proud of it. Give you an idea. Coming up this Tuesday, Will Godera, who's a good friend of yours, become a friend of mine. We're talking about the number one restaurateur in the world. That is an unbelievably difficult honor to achieve, and he's proud.

probably now one of the foremost experts on how to just treat people well with his runaway bestseller, Unreasonable Hospitality. So that deep dive is great for leaders. And you know, the sad thing about Will is,

is he's unreasonably nice. One of the nicest people I've ever met. It's just ridiculous how nice he is. That's true. And yet we're still friends. He's unreasonably nice. Yeah, he's great. He's a great guy. Hey, be sure you tune in. You're going to love it. And that particular episode I'll be watching because I love Will and I love his material and I love the way he thinks. He drops some gold on us. Really, really good stuff. Yeah, I'm sure he had some mic drops in there. April's in Indianapolis. Hey, April, welcome to The Ramsey Show. Hi, thanks for having me. Sure, what's up?

So I'm wanting to know how I can help my 71-year-old mother who has no retirement. She has a home, and she's considering selling the home in order to be able to make it about 50 more years. But she's kind of in a rock and a hard place. And I didn't know if there's a way she can invest a little or find a way to maybe get a little extra money. So she has no money.

None at all. And what's the house worth? It's probably about $175,000. But then she has to decide whether to rent or to go purchase another smaller home. Where does she live? She's in Evansville. Evansville, Kentucky? Yeah.

Indiana. Indiana. I'm sorry. I was in Indiana, on the border of Kentucky. Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah. All right. Good news is it's not very expensive to live there. You're calling me from Newark or from Indianapolis, and that's a little more. Mm-hmm.

She has no income at all? She has Social Security. Well, she has Social Security, but she's afraid to get a job because then she'll lose her insurance, her Medicare. What is her Social Security? What's her income on that? She's only getting $900 a month about right now. Is she able to work?

She is. She's actually, she's pretty stubborn. I love her to death, but she, uh, she's very independent and, um, kind of, it's, and a bit stubborn, but I love her. And I keep saying, well, maybe if you could do this or that, she's kind of very adamant about not being in a

community or being somewhere because she's 71 in April but she thinks she's 50 yeah I know that I know that feeling yeah well what would you what would you if you could just snap your fingers and give her a job today 40 hours a week and everything was just hunky-dory what what would she do what would you recommend that she would do just to bring in steady income

She's been a caregiver her whole life, a CNA or an at-home caregiver. She actually left being a CNA to go take care of her mother at the last five years of her life. And that's kind of why she's in this position. Where's your dad?

Her dad. Your dad. Oh, my dad. Unfortunately, my dad is not in the picture. He's off doing his own thing somewhere. Divorced a long time ago. Yeah. Divorced a long time ago. Okay. All right. Well, so the math will break your stubborn streak. I know, right? $900 doesn't pay for property taxes.

insurance on a $175,000 house and food and lights and water. Correct. Period. Period. It doesn't do it. Not even in Evansville, Indiana, which is a wonderful community to live in and very inexpensive to live in compared to most places, especially metro areas. So, yeah, she could sell her house and buy a $75,000 one-bedroom condo there. Probably. That's probably real.

And they probably wouldn't be in the ghetto, right? Probably wouldn't be in the slums. No. And so it's not going to be great, but it'll be at least a place to live. And renting is not an option because rent goes up every year and she'll run through her money. It's not going to go up as fast as Social Security. So she's working. Yeah.

That's her only choice. It's her only choice. Well, then how do you navigate the not having insurance then? Well, you're going to have to work on talking to finding out what Medicare does do in those situations and finding out exactly what the guidelines are. I don't know them off the top of my head. And start talking to insurance agents and finding ways to get care covered. But, you know, these...

she's going to burn through the money from the house because you can't live on 900 bucks. Right. Well, see, she was living off the inheritance or the money that was left to her from her brother when he passed. But it's going to be gone. Oh, it's almost already gone. That's why she's kind of in this position now. And then the money from the house will be the next thing that's gone. And then we're going to be back in this position.

because we don't want to admit that 900 bucks won't work it won't work it right and so you don't have a choice one of you somewhere there's going to be some money into this picture now maybe you start giving her money i don't know or your brother who's a dentist i don't know i made that up but i don't know i don't know who's giving her money but somebody's giving her money so they're going to give her money to work or kids are going to support her because she can't make it on that

Right. I just did a quick search while you guys were talking. There are five big box stores in Evansville, Indiana. You know them. I don't need to say them. And then I searched one of the biggest ones and they have 100 plus jobs right now available. And a 71-year-old lady who's healthy

who's mature and she is. I don't know that because I didn't click on it. Probably 20, 25 bucks. And that's what the math has got to be. So I did that search because while Dave was talking, if this were my mom and that's what you call Nastas, then I would be going, mom, let's run the numbers and you get into one of those stores. You're probably going to get some healthcare options. If not, it's still a math game and more money coming in. But she needs income. And I think a healthy 71 with a smile and great

work ethic, I think there'd be plenty of big box stores that would love to take care of her. And a caregiver would probably make more than she'd make there. I agree. And probably with the right care organization. Yeah, that was just a quick search. Hospital or whatever, you could get some health care. Great point on any health care facilities in the area. Yeah. Okay. Let's check on that. But I think mom, she's...

I don't know how you help her grasp this, but the math is going to be forced upon her. Yeah. And she's going to have to create some income. And the more income she creates, the sooner, the bigger chance we can be able to build a little bit of a nest egg to make it all the way through this and not have to work until you're 92, you know. Wow.

This is why you invest $100 a month from age 25 to age 65 in a decent mutual fund. It's $1,176,000, and you don't have that trouble. If you're 25 and you're listening to me, listen to her story. Hey, listen up. Everyone is at risk of identity theft. I don't care if you're a hermit living off the grid listening to the show on a battery-powered radio. All of your data, collected by every company you've ever done business with, lives on

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Hey guys, Dr. John Deloney here. Finding time to intentionally connect with your spouse can be hard. That's why I'm excited to announce that Money in Marriage Getaway is back. Hang out with me and Rachel Cruz November 6th through 8th in Nashville, Tennessee. You'll learn practical tools to better communicate, deepen your intimacy, and

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Ken Coleman, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host on the debt-free stage in the lobby of Ramsey Solutions. Andrea is with us. Hi, Andrea. How are you? I'm great. How are you? Better than I deserve. Where do you live? I live in Fort Myers, Florida. Excellent. Welcome to Nashville. And here to do a debt-free scream, how much have you paid off? $121,000.

$100. All right. Very good. How long did that take? 28 months. Good for you. And your range of income during that two and a half years? $85,000 to $135,000. Wow. Nice jump in two years. What do you do for a living? I am an insurance agent. Ah, okay. Why did your income go up so much? Well, I worked and then also my book of business was growing as time went on. So you just built a business, built a business, but you had a real reason. Yeah.

Yeah, I paid off my house. Yeah! Whoa! Small mortgage and knocked it out. Yeah, sure did. Very exciting. What's this house worth in Fort Myers, Florida? Well, my neighbors are selling theirs next door, and it's around the $270. Wow, good for you. Way to go. And how much in your retirement nest egg? $140. And how old are you? I'm 33. No, by light, I'm 32. That's okay. You're rushing this. You're just rushing it.

Way to go. Thank you. So proud of you. You're amazing. Thank you. You have to feel like you have a superpower. I do. Yeah. It's a great feeling. You know, you don't realize how much money is going away until you can start keeping all of it. What started all this two and a half years ago? You were just kind of going along being normal. Yeah. And you were really in good shape. You only had a house payment. True. I mean, I did have debt prior, but I was always trying to get rid of it as much as possible. And then...

When I started it, I really felt that I purchased it back in 2019, that it wasn't going quick enough. So I came around to you in 2022. So I thought, okay, how can I get this going quicker? And I came across you in that summer. And then actually shortly after, we were affected by Hurricane Ian. So before I could go after the house payment, I had to do some repairs. And then it wasn't until that new year in 2020

I really started to get aggressive and met making these little goals for me because I just wanted to be done with it. And I, uh, I really wanted to own my own house and be able to do it all. I'm impressed by, I mean, this is, you know, about 60,000 a year, roughly. Yeah. Uh, you really went after it pretty hard. How did that change your lifestyle? And did you have second thoughts about it? And if so, how did you stay the course? I, uh,

worked a lot so I couldn't have to spend it. Right. And then what really helped me is the goal that I wanted I started to do two strong of goals to see how close I could get to them but I ended up succeeding on them. So when I was doing the first year I wanted to get under 100.

And then I did that with just a couple thousand under. So then I wanted to really be able to do a bigger goal at 50,000, and I thought that was impossible in a year. So then I surpassed that, but I had these little mini goals throughout the way to make sure I was on track and just be able to have that accountability that I'm doing it correctly because I wasn't great at the budget. I just wanted to be able to do each little goal to feel that I'm doing a great job.

Love that. I'm a salesperson, and I know that when I've got something I'm aiming at that I want the money for, it makes me work a little longer, make four more calls, make sure I answer every single thing. I ring every drop out of the wash rag before I go home because I'm trying to get there on everything. And if I don't have that, then I'm a little bit lazier. And so you were leaning in, weren't you? You were making every stinking closing. I was. You were closing every deal.

But the interesting thing is you're 33 and you never really had huge debt. I mean, your mortgage is smaller than most people's student loans. Originally, it was 151 I bought the house for. Sorry. You're killing me. It was. It was a good time to buy. Yeah. So you must have grown up with parents that had common sense. Yeah. Yeah.

I sure did. Okay. Who's this over here in the gallery? That's my grandparents. Okay. So that's where the common sense really came from. Yeah. And my mom's here too. Okay. Mom's there. Hi, mom. Way to go. Well, they're all here cheering you on because they're real proud of you. Yeah. But you're the product of the way they have lived their lives too. Yeah. Yeah. They taught me everything. Yeah. I mean, 33 years old and not over your head drowning in four or $500,000 worth of miscellaneous everything is unusual. Yeah.

you know, and, but you just had a small one and then you just killed it. You slayed it. You took a machete to it. You're something, man. That's so powerful. So you have no house payment, no payments of any kind. You are officially weird. Yeah.

How does that feel? It feels great. It really does. I didn't think I was going to be emotional. But yeah, it's a great feeling where I just don't have to rely on anything. It's all, I have control. In that situation where if something's going wrong, I know I can... I really love when you said...

I can't control what's going on in the White House, but I can control what's in my house. Yeah. And that meant a lot. So, sorry. That's okay. No apology. That's beautiful. What you're showing is that when you set all this debt down that everyone else is carrying, they're walking around holding their breath. Yeah. And you can breathe. That's all you're showing. Yeah.

And it changes everything. So you're fabulous. Thank you. You're a rock star, man. I appreciate everything you guys do. You're amazing. I'm so proud of you. Very, very well done. What do you tell people the key to getting out of debt is? Set a goal. That's important. And the mini goals. The mini goals, yes. I didn't have...

An accountability partner with me, but listening to you guys every day was my accountability, where I was making sure that I was staying on track and then just having the mini goals, knowing that you're still going on that trend. Because when you're doing a whole year, a lot can happen in that year. So when I was doing monthly or weekly goals, that's really what helped me get that motivation of I'm doing everything correctly. Yeah, but you're a numbers girl. Yeah, I am. And so those numbers were your accountability partner. You're looking at them and they're screaming at you. Yeah. Get after it or you're doing good. They're talking back to you. Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yep. So then I would just, when I wanted my mortgage to be at 50,000 at the end of the year, I broke it down monthly to every two weeks of where it should be at if I was making extra payments. So I knew by September it had to be at this amount of money if I was going to be on track. So at the end, I knew in 2024 I was going to,

pay off the house but then I made another goal to be more aggressive to have it paid off before my birthday so I was at least keeping track of where I was at in the year but I had another line of where I needed to be if I wanted to supersede it earlier in that year and that was so firmly seared into your brain that you forgot how old you were a minute ago yeah

by my birthday and you beat your birthday so you thought you were 33 because it was by my birthday yeah i love it that's good that's good i like this that tells how much emotion you put into this yeah that's that's fabulous good for you thank you well done well done man that's that's i put you in a different place you're a different kind of salesperson now yeah i don't need to make the sale now yeah and you didn't need to before

Correct. But now you don't have any reason except doing the right thing for the people, making sure they get the right coverage. Yeah. Good for you. Well done. Well, I'm sure grandma and grandpa and mom are proud. I'm sure that's why they're here cheering you on. We're proud of you, Rockstar. Thank you. You're a hero. Appreciate it. You're absolutely amazing. Andrea, is it Andrea or Andrea? It's both. No, which is it? Andrea. Andrea. I'll get it right. I'll get it right. Andrea from Fort Myers, Florida. 121,000 paid off in 28 months. Wow.

You're looking at a millennial with a paid-for house. You know how much whining I heard in this discussion? Zero. I'm telling you, the millennials are out there that are awesome, and she is a representative of them. There's some of them that are amazing, and she's an amazing one. 28 months did this, making $85 to $135. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. Three, two, one. I'm dead. Yeah. Yeah.

Amazing. I've lost hope that I'm ever going to buy a home. The American dream is dead. The American dream is dead. I can't buy a home. She just said, hold my beer. I mean, come on. Love it. Wow.

That's done. She just took away all your excuses out there. Some of you, some of you can get with it. You can decide. I don't have to eat out every night. I don't have to have a fruit fruit pumpkin latte spice double back flip every day. I mean, I don't, I can do all kinds of stuff. I can do all kinds of stuff. If I have a goal, I'm 33 with a paid for house. What would you do to trade with her? What would you do? Good question. Trade with her. Oh, maybe it's your turn. Yeah. You, this is the Ramsey show.

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And you can catch everything you want on YouTube and podcast. And after that, the rest of the show is on the Ramsey Network app. It's completely free. There is no paywall. There is no salesman will call. We're not going to start charging for it. We use the Ramsey Network app to give you things you can't get anywhere else. And we put everything else out here where you can get it for free. And so jump on this for free. Download the app and stay tuned.

You guys on radio, stay tuned. You'll get what you've always gotten. We haven't changed any of that. And finish the show in the Ramsey app. And you can listen to the whole show in the Ramsey app and watch the whole show in the Ramsey app. So it's all there. Hey, guys, you don't want to miss our two-night virtual event coming up, Investing Essentials. I've only done this one episode.

Other time, George Campbell and I are getting together, and George is doing a deep dive on some of the investing trends that are out there right now, some of the details of the Trump Tax Act situation.

that looks like it's going through we'll know by the time we do it that night if it does go through we'll be able to tell you exactly what that means in your investing if it means anything at all if it doesn't if it doesn't affect it we're not going to spend much time on it but we'll go go into that i'm going to open up only for the second time ever i did it about this time last year we did one of these and i spent a whole two and a half hours on real estate investing in real estate

I own several hundred million dollars worth of real estate. I've been buying real estate since I was 18 years old. I actually went broke in the real estate business later doing stupid stuff, so I know what it looks like. I have a Ph.D. in D.U.M.B.,

So, yeah, I can pass along to you the real-world knowledge there. And, you know, we own several hundred million today. So I'm going to show you exactly how to do that. I've got a degree in real estate. It's what I love. It's my second favorite thing to do other than doing stuff around Ramsey. And we'll get into all of that. We're going to get into whatever, if there's anything at all. We don't know yet, but we'll see what happens with this tax act, if it even passes by then.

We'll get into that. And we're certainly going to get into all the fads and all the stuff that you hear about and the smart stuff that's out there and the dumb stuff that's out there and show you why and teach you to think properly about investing. It's a two-night event. It's a lot of information. We're going to nerd out. If you want to just be entertained and giggle, don't come. You'll be asleep.

Because we're going to go into the weeds, baby, with the sickle and cut the weeds and run the snakes out. That's what we're doing. So you wanted the Nerdville. George is natural at it, but I can do it. I know how to do it. My brain can do it. And so I forced myself for two nights. It's two hours each night.

Two different sets of materials, March 4th and 5th. Tickets start at $199. You can get them at ramseysolutions.com slash events. It is a virtual event. George Camel, Dave Ramsey, Investing Essentials, ramseysolutions.com, $199 for March 4th and 5th. That's only, what, two weeks away or something like that. So you probably ought to go ahead and get it on the calendar, get signed up. Honey, I'm going to be doing this. We're going to be doing this. We're going to turn it on Apple Podcasts.

and put it up on the TV and watch it or however you techno people do that stuff, right? So there we go. Atlanta, Georgia, Luke is with us. Hey, Luke, welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hey, thanks for having me on the call. I love the show. My question is 50% of my income is in my housing, and I have $190,000 in stock. So should I sell the stock and recast my mortgage to lower my monthly payment?

What do you owe on the house? I owe $402,000. Okay. What do you make? I make, I bring home $6,300 per month before 401K. So you have a lot of money in savings. That's the only way you can breathe because monthly you're choking to death. You're choking to death, aren't you? Yeah, yeah. Are you married? I have.

Yeah, I am married. Um, so my, my parents and grandparents have been good to me and I have some savings. Um, but yeah, we're not, um, we're not saving a whole lot each month. You're not breathing on my income. I mean, you, I know what your budget looks like with what you're telling me. You have a $400,000 mortgage and a $6,300 home take home. I mean, you're starving to death. Yeah. Yeah. It is not a sustainable situation. No, it is not. So something's got to go. Um,

Is your income going to be changing positively soon? So I just got a new job, and now I was making $85,000. Now I'm going to be making $95,000. And so that $6,300 per month is from that $95,000, my new salary. Okay. What decision-making framework or process allowed you to do something this stupid?

Well, I mean, you signed up for death here, right? Right, right. Why? Yeah, so my wife had an income as well when we first bought the house. Her income was the same as mine, so it was much better.

Then we had two kids and we decided that at some point we would have to either move or increase our income. And she wanted to or we decided that she would stay home with the kids. But we knew that we would have to either move or increase our income for that to happen. And so we're just getting there. You didn't do it and you didn't do either.

You didn't increase your – well, you increased your income a little, but not enough to where you can breathe. A little bit. Right, right. I mean, you lost an $80,000 income and gained a $20,000 raise or whatever it is, right? Okay. So the reason I'm digging around here is this. You can fix this with your suggestion. You drop $190 on this and you recast. You're going to have to refinance. It's not recast. They're not going to recast the mortgage unless you've got a bank loan. But you could just go get another mortgage. What's your current interest rate?

5.25. Okay. So you can get another mortgage and not see much difference there. A little bit maybe, but it's not appreciatively different. And you'll have a $200,000 loan and you can afford that. Okay? Now, if you do that, though, you don't get another one of these. Yeah. So you guys really have to do an autopsy on, that's why I'm busting your chops on your decision making. Because you can't sign up for this and go, yeah, but I don't want to work anymore. That's not an option. Right?

You just sold the house when you went home. Normal people don't have $190,000 in the bank to bail this out. And you won't next time. So the next time you do this, you're selling the house and moving down in-house so she can be at home with the kids. And I'm okay with that decision, but make the decision. Don't stand around and act like nothing happened and starve to death because y'all are starving, man. I know what your budget looks like. I'm sad for you. The stress that's running down your shoulder blades has got to be unbelievable.

Yeah. One other question is, you know, I had questions about, you know, would I miss out on gains in the stock? And I kind of feel like I shouldn't worry about the gains and missing out on gains in the stock, you know, if it's helping with my monthly budget. But how do you feel about that? You can't afford the house. Yeah. If you want the gains, sell the house and move to a $200,000 house. Yeah. Which one do you want?

I want stability and a house. I don't really care about the gangs. Okay. All right. Then you made your choice. But you can't have both. I understand. Yeah. You can't keep this house the way it's set right now. Right. It's killing you. Okay. And don't do this again.

Yeah, I listen to this and we hear this a lot. You know, I understand the wife wanting to come home and be with the children. I concur. Do it. But they should have made the choice on the house back then. Should put a house for sale sign in the yard. They do it. I agree. You've got to adjust your lifestyle when you adjust your life.

In other words, they didn't adjust their lifestyle. Staying home with the children is the right decision. Yes, it is. But then there's math that goes with that. Okay, I'm with you on that. No problem. But you can't ignore the math, and you don't get a pass on math because you did the right thing. Math will still smack you upside the head. That's the problem with it. It's mean. It's nasty. It doesn't have feelings.

And it will just mess with you. And then you wake up and you can't sleep and you don't know why. That's right. And you're fighting with your spouse and you don't know why. I know why. Your house payment is 50% of your take-home pay. You can't breathe. And this is what is the number one cause of divorce in North America today, money fights and money problems. And it's all exactly around issues that sound like this. Sweet little people. Luke's a nice guy. He's a nice guy.

Sell your house, Luke, or sell your stock. By Friday, this week, Friday, this is the Ramsey Show.

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