Celtics HC Joe Mazzulla, NBA Play In Games, Who’s The Next “Can’t Win The Big One” Guy + Guys On Chicks And The Year Of Junk Science
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Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. On today's Pardon My Take, we have Celtics head coach Joe Mazzulla on the pod. We also have NBA play-in action. We're going to find the next narrative guy who can't win the big one. We've got hot seat, cool throne, guys on chicks.

Also, we're going to start getting into junk science, which we talk about in Guys on Chicks. And it's all brought to you by our friends at DraftKings. It's the best time to be a basketball fan. All the thrills and playoff drama done sitting on the sideline and ready to win some real cash. Check out Pick 6 from DraftKings when it comes to basketball payouts. DraftKings Pick 6 posterizes the competition, including prize picks. When you hit all your picks, you'll score higher minimum payouts on Pick 6.

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the playoffs. Congrats to that. Congrats. Congrats to Jay, but play in Jay. Yeah. Jimmy playing him. Oh, playing him. Yeah. I like that. Yeah. He, he went off tonight. That was, that was a fun game. I liked watching the warriors and the Grizzlies bad part about the play in tournament is you don't get to develop a sense of a series out of it. Cause I would like to see these two teams play. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm anti-playing game, but that was a fun game. Also, for anyone who's watching on YouTube, we're all at our own homes to get the play in. We wanted to watch the play in games, give you the instant reaction. The rest of the show will be back in studio together. But yes, we'll start with the Warriors. The Warriors, I just love watching Steph Curry play basketball. That really is all it comes down to. I know Jimmy Butler was awesome and kind of carried them in the first half, but there's just something...

It's like watching Steph Curry, you know there's only so many years left. And even that big three that didn't go down, the one that rattled out that there was a foul underneath, like that was kind of shocking. That's how good he is. When a three doesn't go down, you're like, what the fuck just happened? He's just so much fun. And the Warriors, Draymond just trying to, you know, chuck threes. John Morant.

Taking his Advil. I'm sure that was Advil. Did you hear that part when Reggie Miller was like, oh, yeah, he's probably popping some Advil. He'll be fine. He crushed up some aspirin. He's probably on the same stuff I'm on. Me and John. I thought he was done for the entire offseason. I thought that it was like John Morant questionable for starting next year. When he came down on his ankle, it's like...

it was a bad looking, a bad looking injury. But then he's like, you know what? Fuck it. I'm going to go back in. I did like Reggie Miller's advice where he was like, cause John had to shoot the foul shot afterwards.

And Reggie Miller's advice was when I had to do that and I was hurt, I would just go to my happy place. I would just think of things in my life that made me happy as I'm shooting a foul shot. I think all of America thought the same thing, and that is John Moran is envisioning the AK-47 in his hands right now. He's literally just drone footage of the Ukraine-Russia war is what's going on. By the way, John Moran, one of the coolest plays, the alley-oop to himself, how does that not get a bazooka?

I don't know. That was crazy. It's a good point because he went from pretending that he was shooting people to acting like he got shot tonight. Right. So, yeah, he's got both sides of that coin. He's fun to watch, man. Zach Eadie, he shows me like he's improved still. I would say he's like slightly better than he was as an athlete when he was in his last year at Purdue. But that guy, somebody needs to pull him aside and be like youngster.

You need to quit taking the ball down on rebounds. You need to put that ball up higher, taller than everybody else, because he's addicted to it. He does it every single time and he gets stripped. Yeah, and I just love watching Zach Eaddy get fouls called on him. That just gives me so much joy. It's such a satisfying feeling after watching him for so many years where it didn't happen. I think he had his fourth foul halfway through the third quarter, and it was like, yes, this is awesome. But yeah, I'm...

I didn't go into this game having any real rooting interest other than I just want the Warriors to make a run because I want to watch more Steph Curry basketball. And it felt like if they win this game, they have a chance. They're older. If they had to play on Friday as well. Like, it really sucks for the team that loses on the Tuesday and Wednesday play-in games. And then you got to go play Friday and then turn around and play on Sunday. So I'm happy the Warriors get a little rest. And we're going to get a good series with the Warriors and the Rockets.

Yeah. You know how the Thunder lead the league in wearing the free t-shirt that they give you? I think Warriors fans, they lead the league in like 60-year-old rich –

white dudes with like really tan faces that step on the court when the horn blows and try to get a high five from the players yeah like they don't think they're on the team steph curry do you think steph curry has high-fived more dudes in uh like brooks brothers shirts than any other player in the nba history probably it's like a mix of brooks brothers but also like the tech vests

Yeah. Silicon Valley guys. But yeah, they think that they're on the team because they're billionaires and they're sitting courtside. They're like, this is my team. I help pay for this arena. You know what it is? He leads the NBA history in high fives given to dudes with button down shirts and jeans on. Yeah. Because that's the look where they're like, oh, yeah, I'm going to dress up a little bit here, but I'm also cool. Yeah. Dudes like that keep it a casual, probably on TRT.

keeping it so cash. Yeah. They throw on those jeans and they're like, check this out guys. I'm not worth a billion dollars. I'm just like, I'm just like the guys drinking a beer down the street. That's me. I'm the guy. I'm going to take away your job in 20 years, but I can hang out. Yeah. I'm writing a script right now that will make sure that you will never work and be able to provide for your family. But these jeans, look at them. Look, I can stretch. I'm getting a high five. Yeah.

It's all there. And they always got one. They always got a kid next to him with the Steph Curry jersey on. Yeah. That kid's got his life made. That kid could grow up also thinking that his dad is really good friends with Steph Curry. Yes. Yes. Absolutely. Also, when people wear the jersey over the collared shirt and jeans. Yeah. I actually respect that. That's like a dorky move that I kind of respect. Yeah.

You know, like, it's like, come on, dude, really? You're going to do this? I kind of respect that. I don't know. It's like a weird, it's never looked good in the history of wearing that. But guys keep trying it. So I'm like, you know what? Tip my cap. You're going to keep going out with this, even though you know it doesn't look good.

They usually have their secretary buy them that jersey when it's game day. Like, I'm going to the game tonight. Can you go out and get me a Draymond jersey, please? Yep. Can you leave it on my desk, please? Make sure. Yeah, Draymond. Yeah, just go down the roster. Give me a couple options. Give me a Steph. Give me a Draymond. Give me a Jimmy. I'll see which one fits best. Let me tell you, ever since I got my Sleep Number smart bed, my sleep game has completely changed. My Sleep Number setting is 70.

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Oh, I was, I was on my couch. I mean, the only place I would want to be for, for the play. I was, I was, I was laying in my daughter's bed, trying to get her to go to sleep, watching it in my left hand with my phone. And I was like, wow, Cole Anthony, this is fucking, where were you moment? Crazy. But speaking of fans,

Did you guys see we had two fans that I wanted to bring up in the Magic Hawks game? The Magic Hawks game, by the way, the Hawks stink. Trae Young got ejected. I feel like Trae Young was just sick of playing in the play-in game. This is his fourth straight year of playing in the play-in game. I have no interest in the Hawks. I mean, Hank, you tell me. They're going to win what, one game?

Maybe, yeah, maybe one game. It'll be a good test. They have good defense. Powell's really good. Wagner's really good. Cole Anthony, if he just scores 26 off the bench every single night, that could be cool. Magic are a good team, though. Yeah, they got a good young core. It's just I think the Seltzers are better.

Did you see? So there's two fans. One was, did you get, there was a Hawk. There was a fan dressed as a Hawk making Hawk noises during magic free throws. That guy rocked. And then did you guys see this probably going to end up on the bonk list? Did you see the nice pair of tits who was looked to be, uh, have a bag of cocaine right behind the bench and she was shaking it.

no i did not see that okay i'll send it to you so your guys reaction if i'm overthinking this but i looked at it and i was like yeah i think i know what that is somebody sent me a tweet and uh it was something about cocaine but i was looking at the player because the player was like rubbing his lips no look at this video and tell me that that's not exactly what happened um can't see your face so it's fine uh can see everything else

I think that was what was happening. So shout out Orlando. Didn't know you got down like that. Thought it was just Epcot. Thought it was just people with their kids. Yeah. And a nice rack. Yeah, I was looking at – is that Wagner on the bench that's rubbing his lips? But she's just getting ready for the postgame. There's a minute left and she's – Oh, yeah. Yeah.

I didn't know Orlando got down like that. Good job, Orlando. Hell yeah. That's like a Miami thing. If that happens in Miami, I wouldn't even blink. That is insane. That's crazy to do that out in the open like that. So crazy. And the camera was right on her.

So, yeah, I just wanted to give a shout-out to those two fans. Those are my fans of the night. She specifically is my fan of the night. I've got a third nominee. It's not going to win. The lady with the cocaine obviously wins fan of the night. But my nominee would be the guy that was at the Warriors game that was just straight up eating a big plate of spaghetti behind the Grizzlies bench. I didn't know that this – number one, I didn't know that they served spaghetti in plates –

No offense, Hank. I remember that picture. I was at a rest stop. This dude was just chowing down on a plate of spaghetti at a basketball game, probably in like $2,000 seats. Also, they have good food at MSG. They got a variety. At MSG? This was at Chase. Yeah. Oh, yeah. What? I don't know what I just said. Also, are you worried about the Knicks? I'm just watching this girl with the...

With the cannons? Yeah. She got the cannons and the bag. There's nothing else that this could be. No, and the magic win, you're a magic fan. You're in Orlando. It's a Tuesday night. You got big tits. Just go out with a bag of cocaine. If she was smart, she would identify herself, drop her at, and be like, hey, I'm the cocaine tits chick.

Yeah. And she would be a millionaire by the end of the week. All edge, but we're just watching the video and we're just saying what we see. PFT, I saw that. I saw you tweet it. So funny because that's got to be one of the most dangerous foods to eat courtside.

Yeah, it's ridiculous. You get a spill. Number one, okay, you're at a basketball. When was the last time you ate anything at a sporting event and didn't spill any of it? It's never happened. Never. So you're either going to spill it on yourself or you're going to spill it and it's going to fall on the court and then you have to bring the mop guy over. Yeah, imagine a ball going at him. That would be so awesome. I kind of want to see that now.

I mean, imagine a mop guy just going up and the game has to be paused because there's a full plate of spaghetti that spilled on the court. Hank, if you get to go on the wood for Celtics playoff game this year, will you eat some spaghetti for us? Not not not courtside. Oh, come on. There's a there's a there's a separate there's a separate area where you kind of go in in between halftime and you eat and then you come back out. Do they have spaghetti?

Yeah, they got like different options. Okay. But I wouldn't bring it back to the seat. That would be disrespectful. There were some Orioles fans that went viral a couple years ago because they smuggled in a Ziploc bag filled with spaghetti to a game. I love it. Yeah, it's pretty awesome. Max? I mean, that's the always sunny bit. They did that with the spaghetti? Oh, yeah. That's like a bit from the – yeah, yeah.

We were talking about this story when Hank and I were in Champaign like maybe 11 years ago for a Blackhawks watch party, and Chuck, who's really our colleague, who's a great social guy, his friend walks around with...

he had sausages in his, in his cook sausages in a Ziploc bag. And he was just like, you want one? And I was like, Chuck, what was that? And he was like, he does that everywhere. He just brings sausages with him. So shout out that guy legend. Okay. So play in, we have two more games tomorrow night. The bulls play the heat. Mavs play, play the Kings. Got it. Nailed it. I knew I had it. Oh, one last thing about the magic in, in Hawks game. Um,

Do you know the Magic actually won their division and the Hawks were the second team? No, because divisions don't matter in the NBA at all. So it's like I was looking at it before. I was like, I understand why there were divisions back 10 years ago because remember they used to do like

If you win your division, you're an automatic top three seed. And then they changed it because there was that one year where I think it was – I think maybe the Mavs or someone won 60 games and it was like a fucked up situation because they didn't win their division. Divisions in the NBA are – there's literally no reason for them. And so I thought about, can you guys get all the divisions? I did this myself. So I did this honestly myself. I screwed up one team – or I flipped two teams.

But I was wondering if you guys could get the division. I'll give you the names of the divisions to get you started. I can definitely not do it. Okay. I can maybe do the East. All right. I couldn't even name the name of the divisions. Metropolitan. So it's the Atlantic, the Central, and the Southeast. I'm thinking hockey. I got all the East. I screwed up one in the West. Wait, it's Atlantic what? Atlantic, Central, and the West.

Southeast. Okay, so Atlantic is the Celtics. Yep. It's the Knicks. It's the Nets. Yep. It is the Sixers. Yep. I think North. I actually missed this one, too. I just had an odd number. Yep. Oh, Raptors. Yeah. So the East makes sense. Do you guys know who's in Northwest? Trailblazers? Yes. Nuggets? Yeah. Kings? No. Jazz? Yes. Yes.

It's so stupid. Bucks. I mean, Bucks are these. Timberwolves. The Timberwolves are, and the Oklahoma City Thunder are. I think that's just a stay over from the Supersonics. And then in the Pacific, there's a Pacific and a Southwest. The Suns are in the Pacific, which I got that wrong. They're not in the Southwest. So Southwest is Texas. Yeah, Pacific is just the California teams and the Suns, and the Southwest is Texas and...

And Memphis. And New Orleans. And the Nuggets? Just get rid of them. Get rid of them. So stupid. No one cares about the divisions. It was just so funny. We were watching a playing game. It was the winner of the division, of the Southeast Division, versus the second-place team in the Southeast Division. That's crazy. Also crazy, the fact that Quinn Snyder didn't see the cocaine check. Yeah. True. True.

I feel like he would have probably had eyes on her big time. That would have been a, that would have been a match made in heaven. Um, all right. So we recorded the rest of the show, uh, earlier and PFT, you, you commented or made the point that Nico Harrison was doing his closed door press conference with no cameras, no audio recordings. So that took place since we last were together. Um, did you see some of the reports from it? Uh, no, I have not. Okay. So, uh,

Some of the lines that he's used, defense wins championships. He said that again. He also was said, I guess he hammered home the point that there was no, it was not guaranteed that Luca was going to sign the super max, which is,

Maybe the dumbest point ever. He like that Luca was going to willingly give up a hundred million dollars while he's building a house and he's crying about his video. So that's a, that's an interesting line that he's using. And then he also had, I mean, also if you take into account state income taxes, you

Yeah. It's more than a hundred million. Yeah. Yeah. And he also said, my obligation is to the Dallas Mavericks. It's what's the best interest of the Dallas Mavericks. And that's the most important thing. Some of the decisions are going to be unpopular, maybe to Dirk and maybe to the fans, but my obligation is the Dallas Mavericks. I'll, I'll say this.

I think the fans in Dirk are probably part of the Dallas Mavericks. I know they're not part of the organization, but being like, yeah, I'm going to piss off my entire fan base and the number one legend of our organization, and that's me doing my job. He's so lost. It's insane. Yeah, listen, buddy, you fucked up. Sometimes you just got to say it. If this press conference today was just, hey, I just want to say my bad.

I fucked that one up. I tried my best, realized it was stupid. I thought I was being really smart. Turns out it was the dumbest thing ever. Max, what are you laughing about? What are you giggling about? Something seemed very funny. You said state. We'll cut this. We'll cut this. We'll cut this. You said state income tax, and Hank just immediately started shaking his head. No, don't cut this. Hank had tax today. It was tax day. Okay.

It's a trigger word for him, PFT. Don't use that word. Don't use that word, PFT. Just burning in his head.

But yes, you're right. Just say I fucked up. Yeah, I fucked up. Listen, my bad. I tried to I tried to outsmart myself and I lost. Yeah, he he also there was a report. Tim McMahon, who's a very good reporter. He does a hoop collective pod with Windhorse and Bond temps. And he was like pressing Nico and Nico gave him the old fashioned. You're coming at me from a negative standpoint. I'm looking at it from a positive standpoint.

Yeah, he's just one in those situations where he's so delusional that you just he's basically knows he's getting fired. And he's just like, I'm just going to keep saying this until until hopefully they don't. And, you know, every day he's not fired. He's like, all right. Yeah, we made another one. But you can't at this point, you can't say he knows he fucked up, even if he does, which he obviously does. Yeah, he's going to he's going to do an interview in like five years and be like, you know what? I've thought about it.

That was a mistake. He should. He should do that right now. It's like if the Warren Commission is asking you questions and the Secret Service is like, listen, you're asking a lot of questions from a negative standpoint right now. Let's talk about all the positives. OBJ has passed a lot of good legislation. There also was his right-hand man.

chimed in and gave an anecdote about his time in golden state and said that the fan base was furious and management for trading, uh, Monte Ellis, uh, until Steph Curry showed up, just not even realizing that like Luca is Steph Curry. Those are the same. Those are the same guys, not Monte Lucas. Like he, he'd use an analogy and he just fucked it up so bad. They're so stupid. It's insane.

I do like the idea of just trotting him out to do these press conferences all the time. That would be a good idea, too. Such a coward move to do no video, no recordings. What a fucking loser. We stand with Mavs fans. The guy's a fucking loser. He needs to get out of town. All right, I had two other things. One, I think we can officially say that Cam Ward is going to be a Tennessee Titan. Did you guys see who's playing Fortnite tonight? Yeah, he was on Twitch.

Yeah, he was on Twitch and he was asked his top four wide receivers in the NFL. Who didn't see this? Max, Hank, did you not see this? All right, give me, what do you think Cam Ward said his top four receivers in the wide receivers in the NFL are? AJ Brown. Okay, we got nothing. Did he just say the Titans receivers? He said Jamar Chase, Justin Jefferson, Calvin Ridley, and Trelon Burks.

Trayvon Burks, Trayvon Burks. Uh, he also said, AJ Brown is a dog, but he's no Calvin Ridley. That's funny. AJ Brown. I feel like a team that would, that would take him would be a good team to play for. Cause they, they know how to identify a good receiver. Yeah. Uh, he said Tony Pollard was the best running back in the NFL. Spears. He said they asked for his top four running backs and he said Spears and Tony Pollard and then just didn't say anything else. I fucking love it. Uh,

And then did you guys have anything for the Braves announcer that people were pissed about? That was a very funny story. No, I mean, that was one of those things where I saw just a little bit of outrage. But I'd say it was more people getting mad at people who were outraged. There weren't enough people who were outraged to be upset about. So I only brought it up because it was so funny. So for people who missed it, there was a Braves sideline reporter, Nick.

Who was was interviewing a couple of women in the outfield in like the bleachers on Monday night. And the guys in the booth were like, dude, get her number. And he was like, yeah, can I have your number and ask for her number like live on camera? And then there was a couple of people. He's right. Like there was a couple of people who were like, this is ridiculous. This is like so gross.

Not enough for an actual outrage. It was just more the backlash to the fake outrage. But it made me laugh because I don't know if you saw tonight, he was on a hot dog seesaw in between innings. And I was like, this is perfect because this is what a sideline reporter's job is to do. Like the dumbest, silliest things, which he did last night and he did tonight again on a hot dog seesaw.

Yeah, that's what baseball announcers do. You cut to them in the middle of a dead inning and they've got something wacky with the stadium going on. Like the reporters that go down that slide in Milwaukee and like break their legs. Yeah. That's what that's. Yeah, that's the job. Did he get her number? He did get her number. Okay, good.

Yeah. I think it's, you know what it is? Um, what was, uh, I think boomer size and had a great take. He was like, people are just upset about this because now you just go on Tinder and you get your ass spanked in like an hour. Yeah.

He's like, they feel uncomfortable with a guy asking for a girl's number because it's so old school. Yeah. Which is so true. I think that's what made people like if you actually hit people with true serum, they're probably like, whoa, I didn't know you could just ask for a number. Yeah, like that's too forward. Yeah.

That seems a little direct. What about just putting I eat ass in your bio? Yeah, it's predatory. Yeah. What about just lying about your height in your bio? Yeah. Do it the old fashioned way. Oh, man. Okay. All right. Well, we'll kick it to ourselves. We have a great show. Rest of the show. We have Coach Missoula. Hot seat. Cool drone. We try to figure out who the next narrative can't win. The big one guy is.

Guys on chicks. It's playoff season, boys. Late nights. It's playoff season. Yeah. Hockey starting this weekend. Can't wait. Let's go. All right. We'll kick it to ourselves.

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Okay, before we do Hot Seat Cool Throne, I was thinking about this. I felt bad for my boy Hank because he was actually down about Rory McIlroy winning the Masters because we had the death of a narrative. And I was thinking about it. We actually lost a couple narratives this year in the past calendar year. We lost Rory. We lost Tatum and Jalen Brown winning the big one. And we also kind of lost... What?

Yeah, I mean, they were 26 when they did. Yeah, but Jalen Brown did say he was going to win seven NBA titles. The narrative is kind of still going because Jalen Brown was nice enough to win MVP. True. So then now it's like that narrative just evolved. Yeah.

Jalen Hurts winning the big one. Yeah, just fill me in. That was kind of a narrative we lost. So I was thinking, like, what could be the next guy for you? So I have some names. PFT has some names. Throw it out to you. You want to start with golfers because that is your favorite sport. Please. It's your number one sport. Yeah. So you mentioned. It is. It is. It is. Right. Yeah. You like watching golf more than football.

Get him off the show. Hank's fired. It's the truth. I know. If you saw last week, the pep in his step going into the Masters was unlike... The Masters Sunday was better than Super Bowl Sunday. Whoa. Week 9. Whoa.

Whoa, did you mean to say that? No commercials, drama. He's pissing me off so much with these takes that I'm not going to tell him that he has food in his beard like he always does. The Masters Sunday is better than... If the Super Bowl was a better game, would you say that? No. We're a football podcast. Objectively, though, Hank... The Masters is a blowout, too. Objectively, Hank is correct that this Masters was more intriguing than this year's Super Bowl. Disagree. This Masters was phenomenal.

Agreed. But we're talking about football. Yeah. Speaking of which, are we going to get our schedule? Are we getting schedules soon? Hopefully. I feel like we should. Best day of the year. We haven't gotten the schedule. I hate your tone. We haven't gotten the schedule release day, release day yet. Okay. Schefter usually puts that out, and sometimes there's a release day, release day, release day.

So, yeah, the Super Bowl for social media managers is coming up soon. All right. So, yeah, I don't like your tone. I don't like where you're coming from right now. Be careful, buddy. Football pays the bills here. You got the food out of your beard. What happens when how do you always get food in your beard? My mouth game is bad. Do you know how to eat? Because it always ends up it will end up on other opposite sides of your face. I don't know. Max has the same problem. No.

Why are you throwing Max in there? He's not wrong. Yeah, but I mean, I think more people expect it from Max than what they expect from Hank. I mean, that's a fucking shot. That was bullshit. People won't even mention it. I tried to get your side, Max. That was unfair that Hank did that to you. How was that getting on my side? That was way worse. Hank forced me to make that comment by bringing you into the conversation. Also, it was factual.

comment. I take when I see it from you. I'm like, yeah, but you're messy face guy. Yeah, I get yelled at all the time. What happens when you're putting the food to your mouth? You just miss it. How do you guys miss that? Because sometimes crumbs just go down like you guys don't have food.

fierce beards like Hank and I do. I mean, I have a decent beard. Not the same. I've got good hand-eye coordination. You've got nothing. I thought you were trying to say something about your beard. The ability to eat, I'd say, is a little bit stronger. Hank gets food cocky. He's been pounding these big Texas cinnamon rolls, and they're spraying all over the place. Hank also yawn-eats.

Well, big cat doesn't chew. He just like turns on the vacuum button. Great answer. That's not wrong. I oftentimes have to tell myself, hey, why don't you slow down? Because you're about to finish before any Hanks had like one bite. I understand that.

I eat too fast. It just is what it is. I don't know. It's a problem, though. Okay. I like the narrative, though, that Hank can't eat. He can't. That's a good one. He just ends up with food on his face. I do appreciate that the yawn eats, though, because that's efficiency. If your mouth is going to be open, might as well be eating. He kind of just opens his mouth and just throws shit in there and just hopes it gets there.

Okay. Golfers. Golfers. You mentioned Scotty, master's merchant. I kind of like that narrative, although we like Scotty. I want him to break the narrative. Yeah, I want him to break the narrative. I'm rooting for him to break the narrative. But if he doesn't win any one this year, like there's three more, that will be going into next year, like that will be the narrative. But I hope he does. I'm actually thinking about this right now. Are we stupid to do the golfers first? Because once we finish the golfers, Hank's going to tune out.

Yeah, probably. But if you're going to be a merchant, being a master's merchant, I feel like would be one of the better ones. Would be sick. Yeah. Well, no, because I had a bigger point about golfers because I wrote down the ones that I thought. And then, like, Scotty, I'm rooting for. I want him to win, so he's like one of our guys. Ricky Fowler, I want him to win. He has never won a major. I want him to win. Tommy Fleetwood, got no problem with him.

He's just got to win on tour. Yeah. Victor Hovland got no problem with him. Also young. I think the name, you ready for it? Patrick Cantlie. Yeah. He's a douche. Yeah. Slow play. We need him to just keep winning other tournaments.

and never winning a major, he might be a perfect narrative guy. For a while, he was flying under the radar with Xander because it was always like Xander. It was Shoffley and Cantley. They haven't done anything in majors. Then Xander smashed that. And now, yeah, Cantley. He's more infuriating to watch, though. Also, I should have put a disclaimer on this entire segment. We will be biased, so you will not hear the name Max Homa, Josh Allen, that kind of stuff. No.

No, of course not. It's not their fault. We'll be extremely biased. Joe Burrow, none of that. None of that shit. I think maybe Bryson needs, I think he's gotten too skinny. Yeah. How about that? I think Bryson needs to beef it back up again. Did you see he went and tried to recreate the shot from the U.S. Open last year? Didn't do it. You remember that? Yeah. That was kind of weird that he did that the day after the Masters. He's always in the content game, though. He probably had that scheduled for six months. There's a plaque or something. All right, so you're cool with Canley?

Yeah. I mean, we don't like him. No, he'd be fun to root against. Like, he needs to choke a couple of these to get. I kind of like how much people hate him. But. Okay. If that makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. I like because, you know, the golf general golf media is a little bit stuffy. And like, you know, they're the ones that are sucking off Rory or basically anyone that wins. Yeah. They hate can't lay. Oh, so it'd be kind of the bad boy. Kind of fun just to see them pissed off. Why do they hate him?

I think just because he's a little... Slow play. Yeah. I like Fleetwood. I like Fleet... I want Fleetwood. Fleetwood winning would be fun. Yeah, but he's not... He's got a... But I was... The list I made was like, guys we can root against. Like, it's fun to root against people not... It's fun to root against people desperately trying their hardest to succeed and making their whole life about having this one moment and then never reaching it.

Tommy Fleetwood's son makes it easy to root for him, though. Did you see the interview that his son gave after the par 3? Yeah. He said, I just tried my hardest. Tried my hardest. I tried my hardest. It's a very difficult hole. Just a wee bit more. Perhaps next year I'll be able to get up. It's a very, very hard. His hair, too, is cool. Yeah, the mullet. Although he's kind of watered down the mullet. That's what I like. If you're going to have the mullet.

Commit to it. I think can't lose the guy though. I think we need him to choke in some majors and then get really close. And then like in five years be like, ha ha. Yeah. Just didn't do it in terms of narratives for golf in general. I just like to get the, I want a drug controversy. Mm.

We haven't had one of those in a long time. I'd like to get maybe is Adderall a problem for PGA Tour players. I like that. All right, so other sports. I know, PFT, you got a few as well. So these are just fun guys that, like, listen, some of them we like, some of them we don't like, but the narrative is going to start ramping up. Haven't won the big one. Had some big-time chokes. Number one on the list is Kyle Shanahan.

Kyle Shanahan needs a Super Bowl so bad. It's desperate. It's aged him. Have you seen the before and after? Yeah. It's like he's a president. He's a big one. That do anything for you? Yeah. Okay. You like that one? What about Aaron Judge?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Never even close to earning his pinstripe. I've had him on my list. I would go even further and say he's not a true Yankee. No, definitely not. Which is funny because he's had some of the best seasons of all time by any offensive player. Still, not a true Yankee. I mean, the choke in game five really doesn't get discussed enough. It kind of just got forgotten about after. Because the Dodgers were so good. An all-time choke. Yeah. All-time choke. Also...

You can't be a true Yankee in the regular season. The Yankees season starts in October. Agreed. Wake me up in October. Will anybody be a true Yankee ever again now that they changed the facial hair rules?

No, that's a good point. Maybe not. I also think that that was just a test. Yeah. I think it was like if you do grow the hair out, grow the beard out, that means that you were never true Yankee to begin with. Right. Like a parent being like, hey, you can try any drug. Just make sure you tell me about it. Yeah. And then you're like, I just shot heroin. And she's like, you're out of here. Yeah. Police. Yeah. Nate Oates.

Can't win the big one. That's a good narrative. You can't. There's other narratives. If I was Nate Oates, I would hightail it to the NBA before that narrative really gets teeth. Yeah, I mean, it's going to start. It's when you have these top 10 teams every year and you can't get over the hump. He plays Mickey Mouse basketball. Yeah.

A fun one that I am personally rooting for, John Shire would be a fun one. Yeah. Because he's going to have really good teams every single year. And he's fresh. You know, this is fresh clay that we can mold. But you realize... If we get 10 years and it's like, holy shit, he hasn't won one? You realize that that would just be a feather in Coach K's cap. True. If John Shire couldn't win. So maybe scratch him off the list. What about this?

John Shire, is he a better coach than Coach K? Maybe that narrative. He needs to win one first. Lamar Jackson's a given. That one's a fun one. Yep. Because he's, and I know people are like, well, what about Josh? What about Joe Burrow? Lamar Jackson has played worse in the playoffs than he has in the regular season. Yeah. That's a fact. It's been a big step back. Yeah. Memes in the lottery ball? Big one. Huge one. That one's been a narrative. That one's never going to leave. It's written in stone. What, Max? What?

It doesn't matter because he's never going to get it, but what would we do with the lottery ball if memes does get it? Start over. Start over. Get a new machine. We actually should do that. I got to like that. Yeah, I'll say it right now. We should talk to someone about getting a new machine. What, Hank? What? What was that look? Yeah, serving looks.

Just an exact copy of this exact machine? No, we could get a different one. I think whenever we all get it, we should just go to the next machine. You know what I got? This just starts the narrative. Let's get a really tiny one. I got a hundred-sided dice. That thing sucks. No. Never get one of those. Yeah, we'll get a new one. What? Okay. We have money to burn. Sure. What the fuck? Get a fucking...

We'll just fire Nicky Smokes and get a new lottery ball machine. All right. I'm down with that. Done. Okay. Lottery ball machine only fucks up one person. Yeah, true. Rick Barnes. He's out there. He's got the narrative. Never winning the big one. Also, Tennessee basketball. Not going to the final four. That do anything for you? Not really. You're not a college basketball. We see. I should have should have left. Just stick with. We've lost him.

Either stick with golf or just like New York sports. Oh, I got a couple of New York sports coming up, but how about a couple of college football coaches for you? Sure. Lincoln Riley, James Franklin.

James Franklin, big-time narrative guy. Big time. Brian Kelly, I feel like he's just done. But James Franklin is next up for the narrative. Did he win a playoff game, though? He did, but he still hasn't. That was the narrative. No. It was SMU. He can't beat a real team. Like, those aren't. Yeah. He can't beat, like, a real Power 5 team. Okay. Jordan Love, I think we can all agree. How about this one, Hank? You're going to like this one. Jalen Brunson.

Does that do anything for you? Yeah. Not clutch at all. Two natties. Does that do anything for you? Hank doesn't care about college basketball. We're talking about NBA. I'm just saying. That's crazy. I'm trying to predict where the narratives are going to go next. Jalen Brunson is not a narrative. He is not. Okay. At what point has he had a team that's underperformed? I think how he's arguing means that he might be. No. Right now.

PFT doing what the Knicks were built to beat the Celtics this year. And then you know what I did? We haven't seen the playoffs. Oh, you're going to turn me into a Knicks guy, and I fucking hate the Knicks. You know what I did a week later is I cashed out of that bet for like 25% of what I put down. The Knicks are built to beat the Celtics. Yeah, I was feeling the Knicks for a little bit. I still think that Jalen Brunson is stuck in that zone where –

The team around him isn't good enough. That's what everyone's saying. The way that he plays is so hard and he gives so much effort that it's hard to put that narrative on him. It's everybody else's fault. I'm just trying to predict the errors. I don't think it's... Meeks had a great point back here. How about when Luka went down and he just single-handedly brought the Mavs to the Western Conference? Great. I'm just saying. Again, I'm not saying it's Jalen Brunson. I'm trying to predict the next narrative. Because he's going to beat some Knicks.

You can't get mad at me for trying to predict it. No, he's not a narrative guy. He won two national championships. Jalen Brunson's a stud. Okay. Okay. Max is talking me into it. The question is, he hasn't won the big one. He's won the big one twice. That's not the big one.

Yes, it is. No, it's not. We literally just did. What league does he play in? We literally just did a college basketball section. Yeah, they stay in college basketball. Yeah. Wrong. If Jalen Brunson was still playing for Villanova, there would be no narrative. I'm just asking questions.

Wow. I think we might be on to something. Very, very stupid. You're not on to something. This is the stupidest one yet. No, it is stupid, but it makes me want to big cat side. Because it makes me mad. But you're also wrong about college basketball being different from, like, that's in the past, man. And just so we're clear, I am not saying the narrator's right now. I'm saying I'm trying to predict who could be the next guy for us. Like, Patrick Cantlie hasn't played enough golf for him to be, he can't win the big one.

could he be the he can't win the big one John Shire has only coached for three years you can't be like John Shire can't win the big one but he could be that guy in five years see what I'm doing you got me to the point that I'm starting to argue that Joel and like oh yeah on this list obviously yeah uh uh Kevin Willard people are roasting me about Joel Embiid yeah you said Sixers Twitter got a hold of that that one guy was awesome I hope

I hope this is the first of many. Yeah. Oh, kidney stones? Yeah, the kidney stones. Hey, buddy, I have 16. Because I told Joel Embiid, like, I'm not missing a podcast. And then all the comments, once Sixers Twitter got a hold of it, were like, this motherfucker is in the hospital and can't piss, and he's thinking about Joel Embiid. I was like, yep. Yeah. Sure am. Kevin Willard?

Never gone to the Elite Eight. Okay. That's on there. This is turning into just trying to piss Max off. No. All right. We'll go somewhere else. A fun one. Why aren't we talking about Kaitlyn Clark? She never won a championship. Yeah. Not even in college.

She's got to start winning championships. And Paige Becker, as many are saying, is going to be better than her. We'll see. We'll see. Wait a minute. So now we're counting college for Kaitlyn Clark, but not for Jalen Brunson? Well, also in the WNBA. Well, she hasn't. Yeah, she hasn't won anything. The first thing you just said was not even in college. Yeah, she hasn't won one. It's doubled. She has. She had that narrative. That was established at Iowa. Right. Now she's got a brand new narrative. Right.

Exactly. And also, it was basically Caitlin Clark by herself in Iowa. Jalen Brunson had a stacked team. Kevin Durant's narrative, we just need a new chapter of it because now that his career is getting closer and closer to being done, no one has ever ruined their legacy more. Russell Wilson. Russell Wilson wasn't as much of an all-time great, though. Yeah. Kevin Durant was on the path. Russell Wilson was on the path to be in the Hall of Fame.

But not all-time great. Not all-time great. Right. I think Kevin Durant, like, I mean, just the... He's about to go to another team this year. Yeah. Like, if he ruins the next team he goes to, how is that not talked about? He should go to the Thunder. Thunder could help his narrative a lot. Thunder would be the only place he could save his narrative. But, like, it'd be a nice bow on everything. I think there's a chance. I think there is an actual chance he goes to D.C. if we get the first pick. That'd be a good narrative. It'd be a good narrative. Go home. Yeah. Um...

Mike Trout to make the playoffs. We just don't talk about it. Mike Trout to smile. Yeah, Mike Trout to smile. Mike Trout to go to the playoffs. Come home. Um...

James Harden, obviously. I mean, that one is just he is he's doing the same thing every year. Like he's he played. He's had a very good season. He was incredible on Sunday. I can't wait to watch him in the playoffs. Yeah, I can't wait for him to be good in like the first three games of a series and then game six or seven. Like where James Harden go? Yeah, that's a fun one. And then Embiid, obviously. Connor McDavid, obviously.

Embiid is the most obvious one, right? I almost feel like that narrative's closed, though. You think it's just over? I think it's just over. And then I had two others that were just like, hey, we lost Hank, by the way, immediately after we stopped talking about golf. Shut up. Shut up.

Two that I'll throw out there that are just, listen, it's a long time and there's different situations. Luka could definitely be a narrative guy eventually being in LA. The style of play that he has. If he doesn't win one. And then I'll just throw this one out there and I love him. I think he's so much fun to watch. Do we talk about how Giannis might only win one?

That's also like a cast of characters, though. I understand. Only when one, though, never is a discussion. How many did Ovi win? He's won as of now. There sometimes is that discussion. But that's not a discussion for Ovi. Why would that be a discussion? He also fucking carried. He did. All right. So that was a bad one. I was thinking outside the box.

What other ones do you have, PFT? I have kind of a reverse one. One that might get flipped on its head depending on what happens this postseason. If the Warriors go on a run, which they could, Steph Curry goes lights out. Does he enter the Kobe realm of the GOAT conversation? I would make the argument that in LeBron's GOAT decade, Steph Curry was the best player.

You'd change the game. Yeah. Maybe not for the better. Would be big for J-Butt, too. It'd be huge for J-Butt. J-Butt would have a massive... His legacy. But if the Warriors win the NBA title this year, Steph Curry wins finals MVP, I feel like you're going to have the Jordan, LeBron...

Kobe Curry conversation. Yeah, I mean, having five would be insane. Yeah. And spread out that far. Yeah. One team. One team. One jersey guy. One that you might want to buy in on now from the ground up.

Can Arch Manning win the big one? I like that. He's got not-winner DNA in his system. Peyton Manning, yeah, he won, but for a long time we had that. By the way, one of the funniest clips of all time was when... Was it Phil Simms? Who was it that said...

If Peyton doesn't win a Super Bowl, we're going to talk about him in the same vein as Dan Marino, that he can't win a Super Bowl. And Dan Marino was on the set with him. He was like, dude, what the fuck? Yeah, he was so pissed. I'm right here. He was so pissed. But yeah, we'll see what Arch Manning does at Texas. Texas has not been able to win the big one since Vince Young. So it's like...

I don't know. They've been sniffing around. If Arch can't get it done, then it might be that same narrative that, I mean, Peyton, they didn't win the big one in college either. Then he leaves and they win. It would be nostalgic to do a whole Manning can't win the big one again. I would like that. I think it'd be good for our souls. Also, Max, counterpoint to your point that just popped in my head.

I actually think that people do bring it up with Rodgers that he only won one. I think you bring it up with Rodgers. Okay, that's a fair counterpoint. Keep going, PFT. Want to keep your eye on. Well, it has been brought up. Yeah, by you. Kevin O'Connell can't win in the playoffs. Oh. He's a regular season merchant. Hmm.

He's doing the best with some below average to maybe kind of good quarterbacks. Bringing the best out of him. Getting high seeds. Losing the playoffs. Just something to keep your eye on. Don't get me wrong. He's one of the best coaches, if not the best offensively in the NFL. Kyle Shanahan's an incredible coach. I'd trade. Well, I wouldn't anymore. But a lot of teams would trade for Kyle Shanahan. Yeah, like Kevin O'Connor right now would suck a dick to get to the Kyle Shanahan can't win the Super Bowl in there. Yeah, yeah.

That's a good point. I'm trying to think of... Oh, Chalamet. I hope he doesn't win an Oscar forever. Oh, okay. Yeah, because he said he wanted to win it so bad. That would be sick. Kind of a loser move to want to win an Oscar. Right. Yeah, but what if he doesn't win one for like 40 years, dude? Yeah, but we want that for good films. But I like the fact... I like being able to say Juicy J has won more Oscars than Timothee Chalamet. Mm-hmm.

I'm just saying this is what opens up like being like, I liked his speech because I do. I do agree with him. There's no shame in being like, this is what I want to do and I want to be the best. But when you do that and if you're not, if you don't win the awards, people are going to start talking chatter. One narrative I'm just going to lean into this year is that the SEC is a basketball conference. I like that. Yeah. So just keep that in mind. This is just a whole segment of just being the hater convention. Yeah. So give me your top four that you like.

You're going to go with. I like Cantlay. I really like Brunson. I should have never said anything. Aaron Judge was solid. Is Jay Wright a system coach? Whatever. Yeah, you're not mad. That was the worst argument ever because it's the opposite. What? Is Villanova a Jay Wright merchant is the real argument there. Yeah, he's a system coach. No. He is the system. Jay Wright is the system.

That's not how we use that term. That's how I use it. Okay. I would say Mike Trout, but I feel like that one just never gets any traction. It doesn't get talked about, yeah. But it should. It's hard because baseball is so hard. Like one player can do really well and the team still can't lose. Right. But you can't blame the one player. Like it was different. Like Clayton Kershaw was such a good one because he would be so good in the regular season. And then as soon as the playoffs came, he would suck. Yeah. Yeah.

Bryce Harper is also an opposite one. He's never won a World Series, but he always plays well in the playoffs. Oh, I forgot about Bryce. Wait, Bryce Harper's never won the World Series? No, you think that he has, Hank, because when he signed with the Phillies in his press conference that he gave... Bryce Harper? Bryce Harper said, it's my dream to bring a World Series to Washington, D.C. when he signed with the Phillies by mistake.

And then we won the World Series, and the Phillies did it. I thought Bryce Harper was on that team. No, he wasn't. Max, you have Kevin Willard, Embiid, Bryce Harper, and Brunson? Bryce Harper is one of the best postseason hitters ever. He is. All right, so what's your fourth pick, Hank? Bryce Harper.

Bryce Harper and Kevin O'Connell. Okay. All right. That's good. Good. Yeah, it is just a hater watch. Who's going to fail and we're going to just relish in it? Somebody out there is like, PMT has never won the iHeartMedia Podcast Award. Can't win the big one. That's true. We technically would be a can't win the big one. Yeah. Can't hold on to a show. Yep. But yeah, I feel bad for you, Hank, because I feel like I saw in your face you really enjoyed the Rory...

And not being able to win one in a decade plus and not want to be able to win the Grand Slam. And it got robbed from you. It also is extra worse when it's like golf guys who are like crying with worry. And like we did it. Yeah. Yeah. It is what it is. You got to just, you know, they got one. Yeah. They got one on us. The LeBron. It really is the LeBron.

LeBron Cavs year was the worst. That one ended you? It was impossible. So that's another point that you could win one and still have the narrative because he had won two.

Yeah. LeBron. Well, that's why the goat narrative you could fight for. You still could. Yeah. I mean, six losses in the finals, though. That's a lot of losing. A lot of losing. Okay. Let's do hot seat, cool throne, and then we'll get to our interview with Joe Mazzulla. NBA playoffs are here, and the only place to buy hard to get playoff tickets is Game Time, the official ticketing partner of Barstool Sports. Hey, can you look up the tickets for Bulls Heat?

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So this is just a funny classic internet story. It started with Clay Travis who said you can't trust men who dye their beards. It's a red flag. Ryan Day's wife then came over the top and said, I've known Ryan my entire life. He's never once dyed his beard. Next narrative. Move on to the next narrative. Oh. Ryan Day looks like he dyes his beard. He has. It's kind of an embrace debate. It's a hot seat. And if he doesn't die, if he does dye his beard, he's got to now be...

super careful and super on point with it. You know what I take away from this is that it's even funnier because Ryan Day obviously dyes his beard in secret.

He hides it from his wife. Okay. He's probably got a special bathroom that he goes into that's got his chest for men for the beard, hidden away in a cabinet that she doesn't look into. He goes in there for like 15 minutes. She probably thinks he's jacking off. He goes in there, dyes the beard, comes out, and then she pretends that nothing is amiss. Yeah. I'm looking at it right now. So he does have very dark black hair. So it might be that, but I've also...

There's no way that's not dyed. You know what it is? It's the... It's so dark. It's the rosy cheeks that really make the beard pop. Maybe that's it. I'm trying to find pictures of him with any graying hair. Because if your hair is graying, your beard is going to gray. You know? It's just... I don't think you can have one or the other. Usually the beard goes first. Yeah. I can personally attest that the beard goes first. Well, that might just be mayonnaise. Yeah. Ha ha ha!

Oh, man. I don't like you guys. I love you, Max. That comment alone won the Brunson debate. Can't win the big one. Okay. So he's now got to really be on point. He's got to be really on point. I'm seeing some pictures. They might be... I don't know if they're looking like a little bit of gray hair up top. So...

He probably dies it. You guys see J.D. Vance fumble the trophy? I did see that. Why is the trophy two pieces? He dropped the base. I think it's just to humiliate people that try to pick it up. It's crazy. Because I wanted to laugh at it and be like, wait, this trophy makes no sense. Well, Ryan Day without a beard is kind of weird. I don't want to know. Gross. Yeah, sounds gross. Okay. Where did you see that? You get the slide. I kind of want to see it. They do the pictures where you show before and after flooding.

Oh, I thought that it was like an AI thing that you could do. Imagine this guy without a beard. No, he actually didn't have a beard. Can we do that with Hank? Memes, can you find some sort of face-tuning app that removes Hank's beard? Okay, what's your next one? That might be the new Max that you Photoshop onto stuff. PFT just used to rock a Hitler stash for like three years. I did not rock a Hitler stash for three years.

This is what separates me from Ryan Day, is that the center of my mustache grows in darker than the blonde hairs at the end. So if I go a couple days without... Remember when you dyed your beard and you tried to pot it off as not? Yeah. That was awesome. Yeah, I remember that. But so yeah, the sides grow in blonder, lighter. And so if I go a couple days without trimming it up, it looks like... A shadow. You know who else had the Hitler stache? Don't say Hitler. Hitler.

Michael Jordan. Michael Jordan, yeah. Michael Jordan in the Hanes commercial. Yeah. But yeah, so memes has found a bunch of old pictures of me with a Hitler stash. Yeah. That's bad. Not a Hitler stash. Memes having just like our entire archive is one of the scariest things we've got going on. It is. It's pretty bad. Yeah. He's not to be...

Like, look at him. He's just so happy. He just, it's not that I don't trust him because I actually do trust him. I just know that he could, I mean, the guy said he was going to bomb NFL headquarters. Like, he's kind of the Riddler, the, what's the guy? Joker. Joker.

I said the Riddler. My brain just lost it there for a second. The Joker. If any of you guys got arrested for something violent, I would be like, that's completely out of character. I've got a document already typed up for when memes inevitably does. I'm ready to go. Yeah. Okay. I trust him. My cool throne is Shador Sanders and Travis Hunter. Kind of an embrace debate as well, but they are getting their jerseys retired at Colorado next year. Okay. And

And there was a lot of debate being embraced. Travis Hunter, I feel like, less so. He won the Heisman. Travis Hunter's a no-doubter. You have to do Travis Hunter, Heisman, Shador. What number, Shador? Is he 12? 12. Yeah, that's tough because 12 is such a good quarterback number. And also, you know, they were saying, you know, Cordell Stewart doesn't have his number retired. He won a lot of games. I saw someone point out that no one from the national championship team in 1991 has their number retired.

I was looking at it because I guess Shador has over 100 records at Colorado, so that's kind of cool. But yeah.

I think it's something that when when prime coach prime leaves, they're going to be like, we're going to retire. You know, my real you know, my real take is on this is I have no problem with Shador and Travis Hunter. I have a problem with the timing way too soon. Yeah, you can't retire a number three months after they they've stopped playing like this is 10 years from now. They're doing it the spring game. Do you think that this was done to give like one little nudge to Shador's draft stock?

Yeah, there is a lot of stuff that the Giants are inviting them back. Yeah, for like the owners. A personal pro day. Yeah. But don't you guys agree? Like retiring a number, you can't just do like that right away. It should be like the Hall of Fame. Like it's got to be five years after you leave. You got to let it settle. What happens if... Hank, you also implied that Dion had something to do with Shador's number being retired. I think he did. You think so? I think that's bullshit.

You think nepotism was in play here? I don't know about that. I think he did. I don't know. I think he said if you're going to retire, Travis. But so you can make... What about Shiloh? Probably tried. Travis Hunter should get his jersey retired. Shouldn't be right away. Shador Sanders, you can make the argument if...

He was the start of Colorado, like completely changing everything. You know what I mean? If this is sustainable and Colorado is good for the next 20 years and like it all started with Shador, then I think it makes sense. But you can't make that judgment right now. Hank, I feel like you would be in favor of just every team retiring the number 12. Yeah, I would be like Jackie Robinson. Yeah. What do you say?

That was, Oh, you're, Oh, you're hot seat. My hot seat. I mean, I'm kind of on hot seat still from the stones. Haven't passed them yet. So last night I, I took an edible because I was in a bunch of pain, not a drug guy, but I was like, I'm going to try to dull this as much as I can. So I take an edible and then I'm trying to piss the stone out. So I'm banging waters all night. I probably banged like nine, nine waters or so sitting there on the couch. And then I got super paranoid, probably from the edible and,

And I convinced myself that I gave myself water poisoning, which you can do. Oh, yeah. You can die. Yeah, you can die from it. So this lady, it was like a radio call-in show or something. And they were giving away a Nintendo Wii because they were hard to get your hands on. So it was hold your Wii for Wii. And they brought a bunch of guests in the studio, made them chug waters. And the person that lasted the longest that didn't pee, they won the Wii. I think this lady, I don't know if she won. She might have come in second. Yeah.

That's brutal. And then she drank so much water that she died. You can drown yourself from the inside. I obviously came nowhere close to that, but I was paranoid from the weed. So I was like, oh, shit. I'm going to die. Am I going to die from drinking all this water? And so then I decided the best way to counteract all that was I had to eat a giant bag of Doritos Cool Ranch Doritos. Smart.

Smart. On a full tummy. Oh. Yeah.

at Chapel Hill at UNC. And so one thing that Belichick didn't have to worry about beforehand was Freedom of Information Act requests where you can get your hands on the emails that are sent around. So Belichick's girlfriend, also personal assistant, philosophy major, author probably. Assistant coach. Assistant coach. Jordan Hudson is...

They got their hands... Hank is locked back in and he's peeved. They got their hands on some of the emails that she's been sending back and forth. Oh, no. She said that the school shouldn't use images of Steve and Bill together, Steve Belichick and Bill Belichick together.

That's facts.

the Steve will prevent controversy. She calls him the Steve. Okay. I believe that being strategic about the depiction of the Steve will prevent controversy and show up most respect towards Steve's career, validate Bill's decision as head coach to hire Steve. So, um, they've also applied for a number of patents. They, uh,

I have tried to trademark Chapel Bill, the Bellistrator, the Belichick way, and my personal favorite, Chapel Bill, parentheses, Bill's version. Oh. In parentheses. I feel like that one is the winner. That's the one that you came up with. Chapel Bill, Bill's version. That was definitely Belichick's idea. Yeah. Hank, what are your thoughts on all this? I'll ask you a question I asked Dave on the rundown. If...

UNC has a great season, wins the ACC championship. Do you think a single player touches that trophy before she does? Yes. No way. You think she's going to be at his side? Oh, yeah. Did you see her on the field? Florio actually, out of nowhere, Florio...

We, we, uh, you, you have the enemy of my, the enemy is my friend. Florio had his back. He was like, it looks like she's just doing her job as producer of his documentary. Okay. So he had her back. Yeah, that's good.

Yeah, I think he would give the trophy to the players first. What if he didn't? I'm not saying Bill has to get... I think Bill would maybe, but what if she's standing right there? What if Dave said 100% she would touch it before the players? She's a good dresser, though. I'll give her that. She's passionate. She's very good looking. She cares about the team a lot, and she's using her voice to make her thoughts known. Okay. She is. None of this is weird.

What? Any of this. Having a girlfriend? No. You know what I'm asking. I mean, if it wasn't for the Freedom of Information Act, no one would be any wiser about it. Yeah, really the problem is the First Amendment. Yeah. I mean, if everyone's emails were out there, you know, their wife, that's like a very normal thing for their girlfriends to kind of run the show. Good point. Like that's like a common narrative. Really good point. That's a great point. Okay, your cool throne? My cool throne, we did a bad job. Joe Flacco's back in Cleveland. Oh, okay.

Did you miss that? I did. Yeah, so Joe Flacco is back. So very thankful for that. The Browns love doing things with quarterbacks one year too late. Yeah. That's what they're really into these days. So he's going to be... Is he in the list of doubters for Deshaun?

He's got to be. Yeah, I mean, him, Kenny Pickett. Yep. Kenny Pickett was pumped. Although, Kenny had a quote that was like, I'm excited to play with Joe Flacco. I used to watch him when I was 10. Oh. That made me feel very old. So he's also coming for the starting job. Yeah. I mean, we'll see if it's a real competition, if it's a real open quarterback thing. My other cool throne is Coachella because Coachella people, I read a stat that was 50% of concert attendees are financing their tickets this year.

It's like 700 bucks to get in. Is Coachella still a cool thing to go to? Because I've opted out officially of all music festivals. I think I'm done with festivals. It's...

From my perspective, it feels like it's just become all influencers and brands. It's Coachella sold out. Yeah, what happens... That's where I... Where's the Coachella I used to know? And by I used to know, I would look at Hot Girls on Instagram going to Coachella. I didn't leave Coachella. Coachella left me. So, yeah, people are financing them. They're putting them on layaway, meaning you're getting a loan for your ticket to Coachella, which sounds like a terrible decision financially. And then what happens if you don't pay up? Do you get your...

And you already went to the festival. Do they repossess your Instagram posts? I think so. I don't know how that works, but... You also just described influencers. What? You were like, Coachella is just...

hot girls going to or influencers going to Coachella I like how you pronounce to be hot girls I like how you pronounce Coachella Coachella Coachella yeah yeah I feel like there's still hot girls yeah there's definitely still hot girls that go to Coachella there are but I'm saying they're just wait who are you talking to you I I know there are I'm saying it's all influencers now though like it's the the entire thing is sold out like what was it what was it before those were also influencers it's

eight years ago, my Coachella? Instagram models. Instagram models other than like... My Coachella? Yeah. It was fucking different, bro. It was about the music. It was about the vibes. You were like, my Coachella was hot...

No, they were just hot girls. They were natural hot girls. They're natties. Those are also just influencers. No, no, no, no, no, no, buddy. Back me up. The internet used to not be all influencers. I think it was... In the last five years, the hot girls are now influencers. No, it was chicks in the wild back then. Yeah. And it was organic. No, they were just... Wait, wait, wait. No, it was chicks in the wild. Because you followed them because they were influencers. No, for you. And then they...

become influencers because their Coachella pictures were so good. All right, we just had a four-way conversation. I'm saying all the hot girls. It used to just be natty hot girls. No, it wasn't. Yeah, it was. Those were still influencers. No, they were in for the love of the game. Yeah. Now they're just influencers. They were concert attendees. The love of the game of taking pictures and posting them on Instagram. Yeah, they were concert attendees. They're still doing that. That's memories. They were concert attendees that happened to be very attractive.

And then those same girls became the influencers. And now they're no longer as hot because they're not just chicks in the wild anymore. Yeah, now you gotta get a skincare routine just to look at a hot picture. Yeah.

They sold out. Yeah. Babes sold out. They did. Women. Honestly, women sold out. The natties were the best. I liked women before it was cool. This is such an old man. Why? Well, it was an old man like five years ago, too. What are you talking about? They weren't all influencers. Yes, they were. No, they weren't. How did you find them then? How were you seeing them? I just saw them. Sidebar. Yeah. I think maybe five years ago it was influencers. That's fine. Ten years? Yeah, ten years ago. Fine. Ten years ago. Ten years.

10 years, Barstool, The Chive, they would post a gallery of all the hot girls at Coachella and it wouldn't be influencers. Fact or fact.

10 years ago, yeah. Okay, sorry. I should have said 10 years ago, guys. I still think that most of those were probably influencers as well. 10 years ago, you were 14, Max. I wish that were the case. 10 years ago, influencers were not like... There were still Instagram models. No. All right, I'm back. 10 years ago. When did Coachella start? Long time ago, I think. Yeah, see? My Coachella. Yeah. But Woodstock 99 guy.

It's literally been the only experience I've ever had with Coachella is just looking at hot chicks. Coachella might be, which still exists. That might be on the Mount Rushmore of stuff I never want to go to. That would be a good one to do. Actually, though, that one is not, because I think there's a little, at least in my dumb brain, I get Burning Man and Coachella mixed up. Coachella's like in Palm Springs, right? In California. It's like really nice. Yeah. Yeah.

I think they get like nice airbnbs and they just party all weekend yeah but still I want to go I would never go to Coachella I would never go to Burning Man I don't think I'm ever going to go to I will go to Coachella if if we need to I someone in this I'll go to you know what I'll go to to get to the bottom of this natty hot girl like if a brand really wants to send one of us like I guess I'll fall on that I'm more of a fire fest guy

All right. My cool throne is. Oh, sorry. Wait, was that hot? That was your hot seat. That was my cool throne. That was your cool throne. My hot seat is us because we got it. Listen, we did it with Rory. Tip your cap. Chris Paul played all 82 games this year.

That's wow. We got it. He's 40 years old. That's amazing. Like we got to tip our cap. We're still finally got one. Now the Spurs did not even come close to making the playoffs, which actually is perfect for so because he doesn't have to deal with a drastic, horrible crash out by Chris Paul and whatever team he's on. I think if he played less, maybe they would have made the playoffs. Yeah, probably. But that's pretty nuts. Year 20 plays all 82 games.

I think Chris Paul should actually, like, this should be his goal because he's never going to win one. Perfect attendance award. Just play for another five years and play every single game. He won't. He won't. He won't do it. And then my cool throne is, well, Paige Beckers is the number one pick. The WNBA draft happened. Who did you guys get? We got the guard from Notre Dame. Okay. We got a player from...

I didn't mean to put you on the spot. No, I'm trying to think. Somebody from Southern California, and then I want to say, I don't know, probably European or something. Speaking of USC, did you see the most recent video of Jane Daniels? No. I did not. It was him dancing at a wedding. Oh, yeah, I saw that one. And his mom was like right behind him. Yeah, no girls.

What part of no girls don't you understand, Hank? Is that weird? Like, if we're going to talk about ball and check, we got to have the conversation. No, he's ball is life. He's a grown man. He's worried about one ring, and that's a Super Bowl ring, Hank. It's a little weird, Hank. I'd agree. So you don't want your players to be normal human beings. You just want them. I want my quarterback to be married to the game. She could have been like 10 feet further away. It's a wedding. Yeah. On a dance floor. It's completely normal to have chaperones. No.

That's what Belichick has. It's true. That's more of a conservatorship. It's more of a chaperone than a chaperone. The pagebackers went number one, but I bring up Cool Throne because this might be one of the coolest tweets ever. This guy named Gary Knox, who I think is a writer for prep. He covers prep school and high school basketball. In 2013...

tweeted a picture and said it's a picture of Paige Becker's he said remember the name Paige Becker's sixth grade think Diana Taurasi best sixth grade guard I've ever seen St. Louis Park wild that's pretty nuts like to actually call your shot like that yeah

Sixth grade, there's no way you could tell a sixth grader being like, that's going to be the next number one pick. No, but I mean, she's awesome. I do think that she might be a better WNBA player than Kayla Clark. I do not. I think she's more athletic. She's more explosive. Kayla Clark obviously shoots better from the outside. She's like a once in a generation talent. But in terms of, I'm talking about winning. I think Kayla Clark's better. You just said once in a generation. Yeah, once in a generation shooter. I'm also a juju guy.

I heard this Dominique Malanga is just a female Wemby. She can dunk, right? Yep. So I'm a Malanga head. A Malanga head? I don't know if that's how you pronounce her name. But a female Wemby sounds cool. You're Malangaloid. It never really dawned on me like a chick getting dunked on, but that will rock. Yeah, no, that's cool. I feel like maybe she should have been like Paige Beckers. It's just a more marketable name. So that's why Paige Beckers went first.

But Malanga is probably the better player. I have watched some highlights of Malanga. She's a problem. I did see some very sad Dallas tweets of one guy just being like, we could have had Luka and Paige Beckers. Oh, man. Did you see that Nico is doing a press conference? No. So he's meeting with the media for the first time since the trade.

Only caveat is you're not allowed to bring any recording devices. Oh, that's a pretty big caveat. Yeah, pretty big caveat. So it's not really a press conference. He's just having like a coffee talk. Yep. Yeah. Okay, let's get to our interview. We got Joe Mazzulla, and then we will finish up with some guys on checks. Before we get to Coach Mazzulla, he's brought to you by our great friends over at Morgan & Morgan. That's right. Morgan & Morgan is America's top injury law firm.

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Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest, recurring guest, champion, defending champs. It is Boston Celtics head coach Joe Mazzulla. Coach, always great to see you. We're getting ready for the playoffs. Actually, first question, you just finished your season finale against the Hornets, who are a lottery team.

And you said that this is actually like the ultimate test to see if you're ready for the playoffs. Did you guys pass the test in an inconsequential game for your team? Yeah, I mean, I think there was the season presents like so many tests and I feel like

We break the season down and try to give ourselves as many tests as possible. And I think there's something to be said in moments of, like you said, if a game is, for whatever reason, inconsequential, can you still practice all the things that go into winning? Can you make that game the most important game at that time? And so that was the goal yesterday was, can we make that game the most important game? Can we make it

You know, the feeling of the anxiety, the pressure, the expectation that where you have to deliver, you have to win. And I thought the guys, you know, did a great job of that. So walk me through this. When you say like, hey, this is going to be a big test and this is the most important game, but then coach's decision, Tatum doesn't play, is that kind of mixed messages? Or the guy's like, hey, I thought it was the most important game, but our best player's not playing?

No, I don't think so, because I think throughout the season you want to validate every player like one through, you know, 15 or 17. How many ever with us at the time? Right. And I think, you know, I think sometimes the way you treat some of those games is actually a disservice to those guys because you're not putting the pressure and the expectation and the standard of winning on them. And it's almost like, OK, well, we don't have our top guys today at this game.

you know, doesn't matter as much. And I think it's the opposite. We don't have our top guys today. This game matters even more. And because like, you know, development goes a lot of different ways, right? Like there's on-court development, but then there's also like the piece to which,

you know, you can't simulate, which is like, you have to deliver every single night when, when, when, you know, when you are a Jalen or a Jason or like the top guys and you don't get to simulate that. And so to find moments for the guys that are working their asses off throughout the whole season, to give them three, four nights where they have to deliver, uh,

That to me is just as important to their development as the skill work that they're doing and the stuff that they do throughout the season. I know that you're always looking for ways to make sure that your team is still motivated. Like a different season this year. The championship was last year. God turned the page. New season.

Do you find that it's hard to get yourself or to get the team to buy in on that given that once you win something, everybody treats you differently? They treat you like a champion. You've got this, you know, the pedigree or whatever they call it for you. How do you kind of try to remove that to keep your team motivated and focus on now as opposed to last season?

Yeah, I mean, I think everything comes first from like the DNA of the guys. Like they're just, you know, our guys have a different mindset, you know, and as competitive as they are and like they're going after so many different things, whether it's championship, gold medal, you know, what they're doing off the court in their community work, parents, like they're just always going after greatness. And so I think I just try to feed off their personality. And at the end of the day, like you only have so many opportunities to be great and to go after something that's

you know, special and bigger than yourself. And so, you know, you can't look, you got to look at, you know, you got to look at it from the standpoint of like, you don't know how, how, how many years you're going to have an opportunity to go after something so special and the greatness of it. So you kind of have to treat it differently. And I think the guys have that perspective. So I really just kind of feed off them. Yeah. I heard that you don't let your, your assistant coaches wear championship merch from last year. Is that true?

That is, yeah. They can't wear it even at home? Are you policing them at home? I wish I could, but I'm not. I would love to just show up to one of their houses and they see me through the bedroom window and I have a shirt from last season on. What about fans? What about hypothetically a podcast producer that wears 2024 Boston Celtics NBA champion shirts all the time? Is that person living in the past?

I mean, clearly he doesn't want us to win or move forward. That's a good point. He's living in the past. Wait, so I had a question. You mentioned the gold medal. When you're watching the Olympics this year and Jalen Brown gets snubbed,

And Jason Tatum doesn't get playing time. Are you sitting at home, like rubbing your hands together? Like, yes, this is, I obviously you're rooting for your guys, but yes, this is just another chip on their shoulder that I can now use. And they're just like, Steve Kerr is literally giving me material that I can put on the bulletin board on day one and be like, they don't think you're good enough.

Yeah, I mean, if you guys ever watched The Last Dance and, you know, I think if you listen to if you watch that and you listen to some of the other guys like the Tom Brady's and those guys, they're they're they're intrinsically motivated. That's what allows them to play for so long and to go after stuff, which I think our guys are intrinsically motivated. And, you know, while they've been able to do what they've done up until this point. But then you got to kind of like just make up shit sometimes to be able to like.

you know, get yourself through something or whether you're lying to you, you could even be lying to yourself. And that's why I like pointed like yesterday's game, like, you know, yesterday's game, I felt like it was like a game seven for me. And I was just like, like, if we lose this game, like it's going to be a miserable 48 hours, you know, and I wanted that. And so I think, you know, I'm not, I don't know if they were sitting there thinking that at the moment. But I think in our relationship, I do try to find small ways to be able to just build relationships,

you know, narrative. Sometimes they're made up, sometimes they're not, but I think you need that skill of, you know, some short-term extrinsic stuff to where you can kind of like, you know, lie to yourself a little bit, put your own back against the wall. I think it's necessary. Like, you know, especially when you're, you're playing and being a part of the Celtics. Yeah. So, all right. So, so along those same lines, the Grizzlies fired their head coach. Michael Malone got fired last week and,

Did Joe Mazzulla sit in his car being like, I'm next trying to, trying to get, even though you're not, but trying to tell yourself that like, it's going to happen to me just to try to motivate yourself more. When we were that, that stretch in January where we weren't playing well, I was woke up every day and told myself, I'm getting fired. If you don't tell me, I'm done. Like, and I would tell the staff to like, guys, we're done. Like, you know, we don't figure this thing out. You know, like we would just, we don't deserve to coach here. Um,

But yeah, I think you have to kind of find that balance, right, of, you know, this is my dream job and I would love to be here for, you know, 10, 15 years. But at the same time, like I said today, like you got to be aware of your own mortality. Like the Celtics have been great before I was here and they're going to be great whenever I'm done. And, you know, you just have a responsibility and ownership to do.

to, you know, to be a part of the community, win as much as you can and, and, you know, leave it a little bit better than you found it. And then when your time's up, it's the next guys. And that's just kind of how I look at it. Like, you know, the coaching doesn't really define me, you know, if it happens, you know, the next day I got to take my kids to school. Um, and you just focus on the present. I got, I got my dream job and I got to be as present as I can, as grateful as I can, but I'll make, I'll make some shit up sometimes and be like, man, I'm definitely getting fired. Like, you know,

It must be hard to have that mentality when you're getting all these awards like the prestigious NBA Coach of the Month award that you got from March. When I wrote down, I was like 10, I think I pulled out a letter from my 10-year-old self and it was like, win Coach of the Month in March. Yeah.

The most important time in NBA basketball, March. I sat my kids down and I said, listen, it's not about greatness. It's like, can you just do it for 30 days? Yeah. You should not be allowed to wear any coach of the month for March, 2025 March. Yeah, you can't even look at a graphic of it saying that you're the coach of the month. Wait, so you said January you guys hit a rut. What was the fix? What was the solution? Because you still have your job, so congrats on that.

You were very close to getting fired. But what was the thing that you guys were able to figure out that maybe got you out of that? I don't know that we ever – I don't know if there's like one thing. I think like the journey of what we're on can be looked at from different perspectives, right? There's a one-year perspective. There's a two-year perspective. There's the seven, eight years that, you know, most of the core of this team has been together. There's the next three to five. And so I think when you're on this journey, there's just going to be moments of –

of that where I think it's almost a gift because it tests you as if like, do you really want this? You know, do you really want to go after this? Are you only competitive when it's going your way and when you're winning? Or like, can you be as competitive and locked in and dialed in even when, you know, we're going through small reps? And so I thought it was like one of the best gifts that we could have as a team that we were going through because it made us appreciate

the journey more and like you can't just be competitive when you're winning like you got to find ways to do it even when it's not going your way do you believe that momentum is real

I do. I think in short stints, yeah, I do believe in that. We talk a lot about end of quarters, start of quarters, certain plays that could get a team going on an 8-0 run, a 10-0 run. How do you stop the run? So I do believe in spurtability and stuff like that that can go on within a game for sure. Because I know that you're not always a big believer in using a timeout at end of quarter, end of game situations. Sometimes, depending on what it's like, you let the boys play.

but do you ever do the timeout? Like, when do you decide now is the time where I can stop the momentum from the other team by burning a timeout? I think it's a read. I think everything depends on, like, you know, the situation. You know, kind of like the...

where I feel like the team's psychology is at. Is it a time for us to work through this? Is it a time for us to really take a second and regain the perspective of what's happening? Because sometimes a run happens and it's like that's just the run of the game. And sometimes a run happens because you've allowed it to happen by turning it over, making a bad play, not reading the

the personnel scout the right way. And so I think it's just kind of every situation is different and it's just a read depending upon what's best for the team at that time. Yeah. Have you ever had a moment in an inconsequential game, although they are all consequential, where you've burned a timeout at the end of the game knowing like, hey, I just got to get rid of this timeout. Otherwise people are going to be like, oh, Joe Mazzulla taking a timeout with him to the locker room because I would do that.

I'd be like, shit, I got one. I got them all back here on myself. Yeah. You can't be that coach. Yeah. You can't, you can't take one with you to the locker room. So have you ever, you ever been like, oh shit, we got to get rid of this timeout. You know, the one I hate calling is like when you're down six with like five seconds left and you're just like, it's like, it's like you're delaying your own funeral. It's like, let's just get the hell out of here. Like, I don't like,

And it's like the coach thing to do to call it and, you know, draw up a play. And it's just like, there was one time, like the staff was like, Hey, we should call this and run a play. And I was like, we should get the hell out of here as fast as we can. Yeah. It's like, if I call a timeout, at least I haven't lost yet. Yeah. Yeah.

Right. I can still wait for a little bit and we haven't taken the L. Yeah, no question. Yeah, I know that you like to use clips to motivate your team. You clip everything. I've read that you clip from baseball games. You clip from soccer games. When you're watching just, it could be sports, TV, movies, is your brain always in like this could be a good motivational clip mode where you're always on the lookout for stuff?

Yeah, I mean, I think that goes back to like the momentum piece where it's not necessarily the momentum, but it's like every game you can watch the game from a different perspective every time. And in every competitive arena, there's always a play or two or a shift or two to where you're like, OK, that that's it right there. Like that could be the difference between, you know, winning and losing. That could be the difference between winning.

whatever the arena is, winning the round, losing the round. And so, yeah, I mean, we try to find – the staff does that as well. You try to find as many of those situations as you can. They're just constantly coming up, and it just keeps it fresh, like the perspective to just learn different stuff. But there's always a reason why a game or a situation shifts, and you've got to try to stay on top of that as much as you can. Is that sports only for you, or does it extend to, like, if you're watching Wheel of Fortune, you're like, you shouldn't have bought a Val there. That's where you lost it.

I've never watched the Wheel of Fortune, but it's not just in sports. It could happen in anything else, too. I do a lot with the kids. You know what I mean? One of my kids slips up and does something. I'm like, see, you keep that habit up. It's going to cost you five years from now. You're never going to get through another month. Are you going to use any clips from Rory's Masters win?

So I'm going to read some stuff on that. I mean, I got a lot of respect for him. And that to me is the ultimate, you know, like appreciation of the journey, right? Like, you know, what really is success? Because you've had all this success and then, you know, it goes away for a little while and people put all the worldly and the external pressure on you again. And then now you're creating this thing of like, you have to have to do this. And, you know, his ability to work through it. That was really cool to see. So, yeah, I'm going to, you know, tap into some of the post post

Post, what would you call it, match? Yeah. Yeah. Post round. Yeah. Yeah. Post round. There was a clip, speaking of clips, that went viral a month or so ago of Jason Tatum saying that you tried to fight him in kind of a joking way. Is that true? And do you think you could take Jason Tatum in a fight?

I don't ever like to, I'm not the fighting kind of guy. I always try to instigate other people into doing it first. No, I've never tried to fight him, but I tried to instigate, I tried to instigate people all the time. If I could just get a reaction out of them, he does a really good job of not responding most of the time. Yeah. But I did everything in my power to, you know, instigate, uh, you know, just a little bit, um,

A little bit of nastiness after one of the games. Yeah, what was his setup? It was he had a certain amount of technicals and you wanted him to get another one?

No, I wanted him to, I wanted him to like, I forgot where it was. I think we were in Portland. And I was like, instead of getting another technical, why don't me and you just like break out into a fight, like on the court during the game. And you just take your, instead of taking out on the ref and getting a tech, just take it out on me and see where it goes. It would have been a great clip to have everyone watching real time. And then afterwards, Jason Tatum gets to the, to the like press conference. He's like, yeah, he asked me to fight him. Like that's what he wanted. Yeah.

How great would it be if instead of getting out of ref, you only got two guys just like beelines to your own bench and now you're just like, who knows what could happen? I did pitch my idea to Adam Silver about every player should get a fight of fan. One fight with a fan every single year. Do you want me to extend that to coaches as well?

I think so. Okay. You only get one, though, so you can't go out and burn it in October. No, you can't. But do you get rollover from season to season, and then you just use it? No, you can't take them with them. You can't take them with you. Yeah, yeah. If you don't use it, you lose it.

So I got to call timeouts and use my use it or lose it. Yes. Yes. Exactly. That would make the end of, yeah, it would make March games way more exciting for all the players and coaches that hadn't burned their fight yet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I know that part of your job is, or a big part of your job, is trying to just establish the culture in Boston. Yeah.

and or keep the culture going from where it has been in the past. And I saw that you said that basketball is like 10th on the list of the most important things that you do as a head coach. What comes before basketball? I think like the relationships with the guys, the relationships with like the entire organization. Like I said this a couple of times, like when we walk into the building every day, I'm like the fifth or sixth person that the player sees.

And so if we don't have like ultimate alignment as an organization and the, you know, the security guard or the guy at the front that opens up the door or the kitchen staff, you know, or the janitors or like if they're, if we're not all on the same page and, you know, they see the players before I do. And, you know, for whatever reason, their interaction doesn't impact winning. Then that could change the way, you know, once the guy steps on the court, that could change the way he prepares, uh,

you know, for practice or for a game. And so I think the biggest thing is one, you know, building relationships with the guys, but then building a relationship with all the touch points of the organization, because there's so many things behind the scenes that people don't see. Like I said, by the time if practice starts at 11, there's like 10 interactions between the players and other employees of the organization before we even step foot on practice. So I think those things are the most important. Yeah. What do you like to see from the kitchen staff in terms of increasing competitiveness?

Uh, you know, some anger. Like you can't just be back there, like just, you know, whipping up stuff with a smile on your face all the time. You know, like sometimes you got to lock in. Yeah. Yeah. Some aggression when it comes to beating those eggs up. Yeah. I like that. Yeah. Um, is Jalen Brown going to be healthy? Ready to go?

He's always healthy mentally, physically, emotionally. I mean, I think that guy, like people don't really understand, you know, like the warrior mentality that that guy has. Like they really don't. And his ability to, you know, navigate himself and regulate himself and like put himself through certain things. Like there's not a guy that trains his mind and body the same. And, you know, who knows himself better, like, you know, from that standpoint. And he's talked about that a little bit. So, yeah.

So, you know, he'll be gearing up and, you know, he has the ability to take it to another level just like any second. Okay, so he's going to be healthy for the playoffs. Yeah. When he's rocking like the fingerless gloves and the leather jacket, are you like, yes, this is awesome. This guy, this motherfucker is locked in. The first time I saw those were in Miami and I was like, bro, are we doing something? Like what do we got going on? I thought he was using something on a fan or something.

But to me, it's like, it's more about like just the self-expression of the guys. I love seeing all the different types of personalities, you know, that our team has to offer. And, and, you know, you got, you got dads, you got fathers of five, three, you got guys that are single, you got just so many different personalities. And I, I,

I appreciate that Jalen's comfort and security and who he is and his ability to express that all the time. I learn a lot from that. I saw a really cool moment. Is this story correct that you basically told Al Horford he has to go to the national championship game? Because I feel like a lot of coaches wouldn't do that. They'd let their player go, but to tell him, no, you have to go, is that how it went down? Did he say that? I saw a story about it that basically you're like, you got to go.

No. Yeah. I was like, dude, you can't miss this. Like you have to go. You know, like to me, that stuff is really important to Al. If you could, if you're ever like, I'm sure you guys have, I don't know if you've seen it, but every time he starts after he goes through the line, he does the gator chop. Right. And so like, you just know that, that, that part of his life, you know, that, that school, that organization, you know,

is that important to him and the pride he takes in it that, you know, 17 years later, he's still doing that. And, you know, he's big on family and, you know, experiences that are close to him. And for him to bring his son to that and have his son kind of be around what his dad has done, you know, throughout his journey, you just can't miss opportunities like that. Like, you'll regret that, you know, instantly. Yeah. Speaking of college basketball, did West Virginia give you a call? Just a call?

No, they did, but not to coach the team. Okay, what was the call? They have to make you say no. They should have called in January. Yeah, but there was no call. I imagine there was a moment where you were just sitting with Brad Stevens and both being like, should we do it? Should I go coach Indiana? Should I go coach West Virginia? Let's just fucking do it. Not a second. Okay, okay. Never came up. I wouldn't even think of that. What did they call about then?

A couple of people that I knew they were talking about that I had worked with, you know, that were up for the job. Got it. It would have been nice if they just asked, though. Yeah. I like that they didn't because then they just know I can't go back. Yeah. Yeah. Also, maybe, yeah, they were trying to motivate. They're like, if we don't call him, then he's going to take that personal and he's going to think I'm not even good enough to coach at West Virginia right now. Yeah.

Are we really good enough to do anything? That's such a deep question. I don't know. You know what I mean? Are we really good enough to do anything? No. The answer is no. Probably not. So we have to fight every day to prove that we can. Yeah. Hank, you got any questions for Coach? Yeah, what's up, Coach? Your best friend, Hank. What's up, Eric?

With the two seed kind of being locked up for the last month or so of the season, one of the things they kept talking about on the broadcast was the Celtics single season three-point record, and there was three guys going for it. Was that something you talked about with them? Is that something they knew about and were kind of like battling for? Or was it kind of just an unspoken whatever happens, happens thing? Who ended up getting it? Derek White. Really? I didn't really hear about it until I think what the Memphis game is when Derek got it. Yeah.

Yeah. So I heard about it at the Memphis game and then, you know, we kind of joked about it and then I didn't really mention it after that. Yeah. Is Hank invited back on the duck boat if you guys went go back to back?

He's invited anywhere. Love that. He actually, Hank knows you very well. I got to tell this story. So you were going to stop by in Chicago at our office in, it was like. Yeah, December. So the game is on, it's Bulls because it was one of those weird NBA scheduling quirks where the Bulls played the Celtics in Boston and they played, they went and came and played here. And it was the game that you got the technical and then you went and wished the ref happy holidays. Yeah.

And Hank, we had the game on, there was a football game on and Hank just turned. So he's like, yeah, coach isn't coming in tomorrow. And we're like, you think so? And then like, we wake up the next day, the text is right, right there. He's like, Hey, we can't come in. It's like, I ain't called it. He knows you well, like after a loss like that and a technical foul, you're like, I gotta, I got work to do.

I got to lock in. Or lay low. I had to lay low for a few weeks after that one. Yeah. Yeah. He knows you well. Good call, Hank. Yeah. Have you seen that ref since then? And did you go up and say, hey, you didn't give me a card back? Like, what's going on? We had him yesterday. We were cordial. We were good. We had him yesterday. Yeah. Did he have a good holiday? Because you were obviously, yeah, you were so interested in his holidays. Did you follow up?

it was less about him and more about, you know, the environment. And, uh,

I think sometimes we talk about the momentum and shifting things, and that had nothing to do with him as much as it did. I felt like that was necessary to control the arena, whether it was for that particular moment or two weeks down the line. So that was just kind of a little calculated thing. I also love the brotherhood you're forming with the other coaches of Boston teams, with Frabel coming in now. How...

Why do you think that's so important that all four sports and head coaches are in sync? Yeah, I think I needed to – I haven't reached out to the Revolution coach yet. I got to do better at that. Not a real sport. Come on. Yeah, it is.

I just think we all carry the, it's a little bit of everything, right? We carry the responsibility, the ownership, the expectation to deliver for this city. And so I think you can do a bunch of things. You can figure out how guys that are doing it a little bit different. And you can't simulate the guy next to you having to, he's got to win a championship. He's got to win this. And getting into the mindset and some of the tactics and the things that different coaches do

To me, it's just super important. You've got to stick together and you've got to use each other to get through that. What have you learned from talking to a football coach that translates to basketball? I really like the practice plans. I love how they build their practice plans and the efficiency with which they get from drill to drill in a practice. Sometimes I'll use those practice templates

You know, because even though it's three phases to a football game, there's kind of three phases to a basketball game, right? Like there's offense to defense, defense to offense, dead ball situations after free throws. So there's so many different. It's not just you're on offense and you're on defense, which I think a lot of people look at the game that way. So, you know, just looking at the different ways that they build practice plans, where they build a language, like how they build their playbook. And then really fascinated by the pre-snap motion. I think you've seen a lot of teams run these like NFL routes at the end of games.

And so trying to really be creative about these pretty snap motions and turn those into like end of game plays. But you see a lot of coaches doing that. Yeah. What about soccer? Cause I know that peps your guy. Yeah. So what have you translated from soccer into basketball?

Cutting. The way you cut can open up a two-on-one for the guy next to you or the guy two passes away. Where you kind of attack from, not just attacking from certain spots. You can attack from different spots. But even more than that, the passion that he coaches with and what the players say about him,

Those things are just as important as the tactical stuff. But a lot of the cutting, a lot of the two-on-one reads, a lot of to move the defense, that stuff comes from soccer. That's my favorite sport to watch. Yeah. Oh, shit. Yeah. So that comment when I said not a real sport, that was awkward. Oh, it's great.

I got a question. So your former assistant, Charles Lee, who coaches the Hornets, you just coached against him on Sunday. You famously told him, like, hey, we're not friends now that you're, you know, when we're coaching. Were you friendly with him on Sunday at all? Have you changed your tone on that? Like, I'm not going to wave you high five. I'm not going to talk to you. We're competitors and we're going against each other.

So we did. I did bend the rule a little bit because, like you said, it was it was game 81 and 82. Everything was kind of set in stone a little bit. So there was, you know, I kind of got out of the competitive arena a little bit, went to dinner the night before the first game. You know, there was really nothing at stake with the exception of, you know, going against him. But, you know, he's been really good. Like he he.

He taught me how to be more positive, you know, and how to be more – you know, like some people just have a gift of, like, positive energy. Yeah. Hank. Yeah. I don't have that. Yeah. Yeah. I don't have that. Wait, so were you mad at him at all, though? Because he did come out and say that he thought this year's Celtics team was better than last year's. He said that? That's poison. Yeah, that's rat poison. You can't let him say that. Yeah. Yeah.

I didn't know he said that. He said they were good last year, and I feel like they got even better. I think the bench has gotten deeper seeing what Peyton Pritchard's been able to do this year. He adds so much to the team. Sam Houser, Luke Cornett, those guys really contributed a lot. So yeah, he thinks you guys are better this year. You can't let him say that. What if one of your players reads that?

We got practice tomorrow, so I'll make sure we take care of that. It's like the whole start of practice is like, Charles Lee's actually an idiot, just so you guys know. You guys suck compared to last year. Last year seemed so much better. I liked you guys so much better a year ago. Yeah, you should simulate it on NBA 2K and be like, I did it last night. We'll have that clip in the Outback Center first thing tomorrow morning. I love it. Do you have a... This is what he's trying to do.

Yeah. You have a message for your team going into the first round of the playoffs? Have you decided what it's going to be yet? Working on that today, I think the biggest thing is it's not even really for our team, right? Because we're always bouncing back between short-term, long-term. How does this help us now? The season gives you so many situations to be like, hey, this five-game stretch, we're going to simulate first round of the playoffs. This 10-game stretch, we're going to simulate. So it's not even that. It's really just like –

You just have to go in with an open mind as far as there's just no one way to go about achieving your goal. If you study... Everybody focuses on the team after they win, but if you study the rounds leading up to a successful team, there's no curriculum of you have to go five this one, you have to go six this one, you can't go seven here, you can't lose game one, you can't lose game two. There's no rhyme or reason to how teams go about winning. We just...

You just can't have any expectations, like whatever it takes, however long it takes. Like if it takes, you know, three overtime games, six straight times, then that's what it takes. And I think being open-minded to knowing that it'll be one of the hardest things that we ever, you know, go through together will make it, you know, will make the journey more fun. So you said that you simulate playoff series during the regular season over the course of like random five-game, seven-game, ten-game stretches. How did you guys do in the playoffs this year? Yeah.

We were pretty good. We were 6-0. We used that road trip.

that six game road trip as like a playoff series. Okay. I like that. Wow. That's kind of got our minds off of like being on the road for 13 days and, and like every team we were playing, you know, they were better than us at one thing. And we would like really fought to like take that one thing away. And that was a good, that was a good trip for us. And, you know, I thought that gave us, I thought that brought us closer together as a team. Yeah. Are you going to watch the play in games? And are you, is there a preference? Hank has already said he would rather have the Hawks.

Yeah, I mean, I'll watch it. And then as soon as it's over, that's when we'll like, you know, tomorrow's a big day. You know, one of the biggest days in our history with practice, which I think is the best.

You know, tomorrow night. I'm being serious. The guy's been funny all the time because like it'll be like a game today and we'll have like a practice scheduled on the counter. I'm like, fellas, like today's good. But like Tuesday's the big day. Biggest day in our history. Have you ever had a practice where you're like this practice doesn't really make a difference? I don't really care.

Probably like a couple times, yeah. Yeah, you got it every now and then. I knew we were going to have a tough stretch this season because Sam Cassell is our top assistant, and I rely on him because he's been around the league so much.

And to this day, I still wear him out. But we were in Abu Dhabi and we had gone like two, three days in a row and the travel was bad. And I was like, hey, Sam, like, you know, what should we do? Like, I think we should have practice today. And he's like, give him a day off, you know, be nice to him. And I was like, you know, you're going to fucking, you know, you're going to set us like this is going to come back to kill us. Yeah.

No, we're in the middle of January and like, we're not playing well. And I was like, Sam, this all started when you gave it, when you took the day off in Abu Dhabi. I mean, you could, yeah, you gotta make, you gotta make these things up in your head anyway. You can't. So wait, you're not going to say Hawks are magic, right?

No, I mean, I think both teams, like I said, every team in the league is better than us at something. Every team in the league presents a huge threat and every team in the league is dangerous. And, you know, at the end of the day, like you don't get to pick who you play, which is part of what I like about the playoffs. And whoever it is, they're going to have a great game plan and they're going to have things that we're going to have to really work at to exploit on both ends of the floor. I like that mentality. What are the Philadelphia 76ers better than you at?

So at the time, remember they beat us on Christmas Day, you know, which was a tough game there. And at the time it was their ability to play in transition and force turnovers. Like, you know, they did a great job heading into game four or three at Philadelphia. They were like the best turnover forcing team in the league, which allowed them to get out in transition.

And then with their ability to play Yabusele at the floor, they were able to kind of stretch the defense out. So we had to change our matchups and go to some different coverages. So every team in the league can bend your identity and force you to go to different things. And I felt like this season we developed a bunch of different identities playing a bunch of teams like that. What are the Cleveland Cavs good at? Because Hank, if you ask him, nothing. He thinks it's no problem.

Yeah, I mean, I think they're, you know, the thing about them is they were really, they were great last year. Yeah, they were. They were great. Like, they won 17 out of 18. This year, I think they've stayed healthier longer and they've gotten some depth with that. And, you know, DeAndre Hunter, I think Mobley has gotten better. You know, I think they're just, they're well coached. You know, they obviously got a great backcourt.

And they can play different ways, right? Like they're really versatile defensively, and then they can play different ways offensively as well. But they've been this good for like two, three years in my opinion. Yeah. We'll put some respect on the Cavs name. Yeah. Are you disappointed that some of your fan base is disrespecting the Cavs? Like giving them motivation? I mean, I think we're going to have to sit Hank down and kind of give him a stern talking to about how this all goes down. Well, I don't have to back any of this up. I can just believe in you and the team and then –

It's good to have a confidence guy. He's the confidence guy. Hank also doesn't really respond well to stern talkings, too. That's not his strength. Did he get too drunk on the parade day? I don't think so. Is there ever such a thing for Hank? No, he's good. Does he have to shave his head if you guys win again? We've got to come up with something bigger than that. Soul patch? Soul patch, yeah.

What do you think about the soul patch, Coach? I think he'll look good. You want to do soul patch? That haircut. Can you grow the Dallas, Texas one where just the back of your head? The mullet? No, but it's just the back is hair and everything else is really, really short. Who is that? The rat tail? No, Morgan Wallen kind of has it. Yeah.

Yeah. You'd look good with that. You would look good with that. I can do that. All right, coach. I got one last question. Rowback question. R-H-O-B-A-C-K dot com promo code take 20% off your first purchase. Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, rowback dot com promo code take. It's always fun having you on. Best of luck in the playoffs. My last question is, is there a new movie that you got that you've been obsessively watching? Because obviously we talked to you last year about the town. Do you have a new one in the rotation? Yeah.

So 11 days, we've got The Accountant 2 coming out. Yeah. That was a good fight.

That's so perfect. I mean, how many times? All right, so let's say you guys go back-to-back, and we have you back on after you win it all. At that time, so it would be, what, two months from now, how many times would you have guessed you've seen it count in two? I mean, every off day in between a game. If it's as good as I think it's going to be, I'll watch it every off day in between. That first one's unreal, isn't it? Yeah, I just saw it for the first time on Friday, actually.

What have you been doing for the last 15 years? I've been watching The Town, mostly. It's a good movie, though. I like it a lot. Ben Affleck just walking around cold as ice, not really showing any emotion, but deadly killer. Yeah. It's great. It's a lot of cool guns. Taxes. Yeah. People's taxes.

Yeah, it's a great movie. All right, that's a great answer. Accountant 2. But we got to save some time to go back to Old Faithful and still watch The Town. The three playoff Old Faithfuls are The Town, The Dark Knight Rises, and there's a great documentary on Apple TV called Restrepo. Yeah.

Have you seen Restrepo? Yeah. I have not. Yeah, that's intense. I need to. You know what I'm learning to memorize is the frog speech from Lone Survivor. Okay. How far along are we? I'll watch that scene before games sometimes. I love that. I'm not where I need to be in memorizing it, but I'm pretty close. You're trying to get on the boys. Yeah. I've been around the world twice. I've talked to everybody once. I've seen three girls F'd in the four-world fair.

Yeah, it is a good speech. I know what speech you're talking about. You can cuss too. You can say fuck. Yeah.

Never shoot a large caliber man with a small caliber bullet. Oh, I like that. Yeah. I like that a lot. So are we using the large calibers in the first series? Are we saving those? I mean, you got to have the... There's 28 potential games. You need 28 large caliber bullets. Yeah. Well, except for the Cavs games. Those can be just like pea shoes. What's the rest of that one? So it's like been around the world twice, talked to everybody once, seen three worlds, fuck, been to four world fairs. Let's see. And then he's like, I even drive those things where...

When you hit the brakes it goes here we go been around the world twice talk to everyone once see to seen two whales Fuck been to three world fairs. I push more Peter more sweeter more completer than any Peter pusher around I'm a hard-bodied hairy chested rooting tootin shooting parachute and demolition Double cap crimping frog man. There ain't nothing I can't do no sky too high. No see too rough. I

No muff too tough. I like that. I disagree with that one. I think that there are a couple muffs that are too tough. Been a lot of lessons in my life. They've got a great line about mediocrity. Anything in life worth doing is worth overdoing. Moderations for cowards. I like that. Cheers, boys. Moderations for cowards. You missed the part about I've learned a few things. Never shoot a large caliber man with a small caliber bullet.

Yeah, I did. I think I skipped a couple things here. Let's see. Been a lot of lessons in my life. Never shoot a large caliber man with a small caliber bullet. Drove all kinds of trucks, two-bys, four-bys, six-bys, and those big motherfuckers that bend and go, shh, shh, when you step on the brakes. Anything in life worth doing is worth overdoing. Moderations for cowards. I'll wind down, intertwine, and sneak out the back door.

when refueling is done. So if you're feeling froggy, then you better jump because this frog man's been there, done that, and is going back for more. Cheers, boys. Oh, that's a good speech. That's hard. I mean, I got goosebumps right now. Yeah, you got to do it. No muff too tough. You got to do that. I like moderation. Moderation is for cowards. Moderation is for cowards. Yeah, I love that. Well, Coach, best of luck and always great having you on. I appreciate you guys, man. Joe Mazzullo is brought to you by Chevy.

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Hey, father of three cat, PDF, Hank, and Max. That's mean. My boyfriend has never usually been a sleep talker or snore and is usually very fast asleep all night. However, for the last two weeks, he has been very active in his sleep. One time he rolled over and grabbed me and said, she's so cool. I automatically said, what did you say? And he went back to sleep. Is he dreaming about other girls? Do all guys do this or should I be worried about something else here? I asked him about it. He said, how can I remember? It was a dream and I was asleep.

But it feels like he's lying to me about that. How do I get to the bottom of this? And is he thinking about cheating on me? Is he sleep cheating? Now, you've got more evidence there than if a girl wakes up and she gets mad at you because she had a dream that you cheated on her. Sleep talking is not evidence. Sleep talking is not evidence. I will die on that hill. Can I make a confession? What did you say in your sleep hack? I will die on that hill if sleep talking is not evidence. No, in the dart stream.

That was Kurt. Kurt. Kurt. Buddy Kurt. So much worse. I have a confession. And I think we all have done this before.

I'm a mouth tape guy now. Same. I'm not. Are you? I've been a mouth tape guy. I didn't do it for sleep talking, which I actually have, like, not. I don't sleep talk as much as I used to. It's only when I'm super, super, like, you know, four hours of sleep, then I get kind of crazy. But I think this is going to be the year for junk science for me. What do you mean the year? What? What do you mean the year? Like, I'm going to go all into junk science. You've been a junk scientist. But I'm going to go, like, all. Like, I was looking at. Crystal's?

I saw there's something called the, I think it's lymphatic massage. Yeah, I saw that too. Yeah, where it makes your jawline look sick. I got the mouth tape. I'm about to be a cold plunge guy. What else? Now, what was that? Now, what was that, Hank? What was that? How many cold plunges are you going to do this year? Well, I'm remodeling.

My basement area. What's the target date? I have a gym and I'm getting a cold plunge in a sauna. Okay. No big deal. You could be a sauna guy. Yeah, sauna's incredible. It's the best for hangovers. Tell me. Tell me, Mr. Dunker Six Pack. Tell me how many cold plunges I'm going to do. I'm asking you. Let's say you guys install July 1st. What if I get addicted? 365 days, you're going to do X cold plunges. I'm going to try to cold plunge three times a week. Okay.

Have you ever done a cold plunge? That's 150 a year. We did it for the Doug stream. Okay. Do you remember right when I moved to Chicago? Really mean. I got a cold plunge. I did the same thing. I did it for two weeks. You remember when I moved here and I was like, I'm going to be a cold plunge guy. And you guys were like, that's a stupid idea. But I'm now I'm in. And what I did was I went shopping online and I had it in my cart and it was a cold day outside that day.

And I was like, fuck this. I'm not doing a cold plunge in Chicago. You're saying that because it's been nice for the last couple days. So you're like, yeah, I could do it. Well, no, I started... When it's like negative five outside? I started the planning of the rebuilding like in the middle of winter. So listen...

Hank might be right. Yeah. There's a good chance. I mean, look at Jerry. I am getting a cold punch, though, and we will be attempting to cold punch. The indoor cold plunge makes it doable. Oh, it's indoor. I looked into getting an outdoor one. Yeah. That's crazy. Then the problem with me is you have to go up steps to get there.

I have a hot tub outside, and I still, like, when it's cold, I'm like, oh, it's too cold. Yeah. It's like, but it's a hot tub. The first key for me should have been, like, if I'm really planning on taking my fitness seriously, but I refuse to walk up one flight of steps to get to the cold plunge, maybe I just need to get off this altogether. My cold plunge will be in my basement, so that does... You go down. There is, yeah, but then I got to go back up. Listen, Hank could very well be right, but I'm going to be trying...

I believe in you. I've gone in and out of the cold plunge phase. I mean, I bought one for my house, and then I did it probably like three weeks and then stopped. There's one at my gym that I said I was going to start like April. I was like, all right, I'm going to get to cold plunge every day. And then someone told me that doing the cold plunge immediately after you work out actually is bad for. So when the fuck am I supposed to do it? Right. So then that was it. After that, I was like, all right, I'm probably never cold plunging again. I was like, all right, workout sauna, cold plunge.

That's bad. People say first thing in the morning you should do it. I have no idea if that's true. Wait, can I do the sauna after? You should do the sauna before because it gets super hot. Who told you that that was bad?

A guy that worked at the gym. I think you go back and forth. I used to do it when I was actually training every time after I worked out because that was what you would do. But one guy telling you at the gym, no. Another guy telling you, yes. I'm backing up Hank. I'm backing up Hank. I'm backing up Hank. If someone has cold plunged more than five times, they're an expert in my head.

But, like, there's multiple experts. Like, there's another expert who can tell you that... You? Joe Rogan. No, when I went, I worked... The Exos guys, when we used to do... Remember we... Before the combine, they put us through a workout? Mm-hmm. Cold plunging can potentially interfere with the muscle...

hypertrophy process. I can't have that. What does that mean? You don't want to give up your hypertrophy. No, the hypertrophy is that's the best trophy. That's hypertrophy. Maybe there's been new science that has come out. You think Belichick's girlfriend touches the hypertrophy before anybody else?

Hypertrophy. Oh, man. Hypertrophy. Yeah, sure. Nah, who cares? You shouldn't be able to know that word. The inflammation you experience after a workout isn't just a byproduct of muscle damage. It's a crucial signal for muscle repair and growth by blunting this inflammatory response

Cold plunging can potentially interfere with the muscle hypertrophy process. It's been perfect because my gym has been saying that they're going to get a cold plunge for the last year and a half, and they never do, which is actually great because I'm like, oh, sick. I'm going to use that all the time. But them not having it is great because I never actually have to do it. Listen, we're going to give it a shot.

I'm going to give it a shot. I'm going to try to junk science my way to health. Mouth tape is good, though. Mouth tape is good. I can't do that. You go to sleep at night and you close up when you're breathing holes? I do feel more rested with mouth tape. It just forces you to breathe out. You can still breathe out of your mouth, too. Yeah, you can. I do it and try not to breathe out of my mouth, but I end up breathing out of my mouth. But what if you get a stuffy nose? You can still breathe out. It's like...

It's breathable tape over your mouth. If you have a really stuffy nose, I won't put it on. Same. Do they mark it as spider prevention so you won't eat spiders in your sleep? They should. I also have those things that open up your nostrils, so I do both. You're just asking holes.

What? You're just that influencer guy. Does he do that? I've never watched any of those videos. You should remake one. It was one of those where people were talking about it, and I was behind the loop, and I never got into it. The morning routine. Meatball. All right, so junk science this year. You know what I do to get to sleep. Send me all your junk science. I'm in. Also, I would say for the actual question, like...

Oh, yeah. There was a question. No one knows what you're saying in your sleep. No one has any... People will just sleep talk and they have no recollection of what they were dreaming about or what they were saying, so they should not be held accountable. And yes, sometimes guys...

like dream about girls but that doesn't mean he's cheating he just wants to fuck them yeah probably your friend right you know what I do to go to sleep now I got the sleep blindfold that has bluetooth speakers oh I bought one of those changed my life I need to I need to start using it changed my life not always for the better I sleep more

I sleep harder, but then I'll wake up at like 3 o'clock in the morning and I'll have, because the YouTube algorithm just like keeps feeding you the different recommended video. I'll wake up in the morning. It'll be like four hours of airport traffic at Heathrow. I have a fix for you there. Yeah. Do you know this changed my life? There is a sleep timer on your iPhone.

What? If you go to your timer setting... Shut up. ...and you put a timer, there's an option at the very bottom to say stop playing. Oh. And it'll stop playing whatever is on your phone in like 20 minutes. Oh, that's huge. I kind of like that. I do it every single night. I kind of like the air traffic control at Heathrow. Can I say one last thing that I bought that you guys are going to laugh at the most? Probably the most ridiculous, like, I bought this... Hank, pay attention. ...being like, I'm going to be...

Thank you, Max. I'm going to be a better person. And you guys are going to laugh at me and be like, there's 0% chance you'll ever, ever use it. Can you guess? It's not the Bible. It's not real junk science. A salad spinner. No, that was mean, but no. Well, Hank said the Bible. He did. Golf clubs. Also mean. Condoms. Also mean. I bought a book lamp.

so that i can read before i go to bed do you have a kindle that that just proves hank's point about that proves hanks as i was buying it i was laughing i was like you're a fucking idiot wait also hank hank's saying like you have a kindle yeah you don't need a book do you have a kindle you don't need a book lamp for a kindle i don't have a kindle i don't know how the fuck those fucking things no you can the kindle screen but i'm trying i'm trying to not

You know, look at my phone. I think it's pretty bad. Like the other it hit me the other night when I was watching a guy get trampled by an elephant and then closed the Twitter app and then just went to sleep. And I was like, this isn't good. So I'm going to try to read. Nice. Yeah. All right. Memes is just face swapping back here. Oh, man. Okay. Next one. Hey, big cat. Patrick commenter Hank Rockwood not going to the White House. Max, I'm never going to get the lottery ball. Memes.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year and have moved in together. PFT's peeing. I asked to use his laptop. He needs to. It's a medical emergency. While he was at work, which he agreed to. While using it, I noticed I had access to all his old texts and photos from his phone. Oh, God. I don't know. Spent hours scrolling and saw the texts he would send girls before we started dating and even old nude photos of other girls. Should I say something to him or is it fair game since it was before we were together?

And is it normal for him to keep those old photos? You're a bad person. Yeah. Yes, it's fair game. Yeah. Well. No, he never dated anybody before you. Hold on. I think it's different if it's in the text. It's fair game to mention it so he can fucking scram. Yeah. I think it's fair game to have the old photos if they're still in the text message to save them.

Would be a little different. Yeah, but what if you save them in real time? True. Like, what? Do you ever go back and delete stuff? This is a crazy move by her because I think if you like, you can't. I don't care who you're talking about. Friend, girlfriend, wife, boyfriend, husband, whatever. How people text. Oh, dude. Oh, that's. Is there a stone in there?

No stone. I'll give someone $1,000. Are you not allowed to drink water when you have kids? $1,000 stick-a-sip memes. I drank so much water I almost died last night. Why is that thing orange? Because it's got blood in it. $1,000 stick-a-sip memes. The blood. I thought about it, but blood, I'm out. Yeah, blood, you're out. No one's text messages should be out there. No. The way you text is not the way the world works. Whenever someone shows a text message, it's like,

Yeah, man, they were talking to their friends or they were sexting. Like, you just can't do that. There also might be a chance that this was in some weird part of the cloud, maybe from several phones ago. Like, you ever get surprised by a photo that you had forgotten about because it was like 2007 that somehow made its way to your cloud? Yeah. It's usually just pictures of Stella. That's it. That's all I got. All right. Last one. I love golf myself.

But I'm wondering what your take is on a husband going on a destination golf trip when his wife is eight and a half months pregnant with their first kid. I'm a bit nervous in case anything happens, but also want him to have a good time with the guys before the baby comes. What would y'all do? Thanks. Yeah, sure. That sounds fine. She definitely won't hold this against you for the rest of her life. No, this woman seems like the absolute opposite from the last woman. Yeah. Even asking that question means like she's not completely out against it, even though she should be completely out.

Eight and a half months. That's insane. I think it was more of a... That's not even a question. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. First babies usually do come around on time. Like, that's... Like, the second and third babies comes a little earlier. I'm going to say no. How far away? Destination implies time zones. If he's close enough to be on a flight...

Yeah, you probably can't do it. Eight months is usually is about to cut off. I think this is posed by her. What if the trip was planned like 13 months ago? I mean, I'm also saying this is my third child. I was in West. I landed in West Virginia when my wife's water broke. I did make it. But that was also work. That was work. And I did make it for the birth.

But that was also very like that was so stressful. Max, I disagree. I don't think that she's asking it because she still thinks it might be cool. I think she's asking it so that we say it because she has told him like even the part of my take guys would say that this is fucked up. I think it depends where it is. Why don't you just bring her with you? Yeah. Just have Hank replace. Put her up at a hospital.

Yeah, there are hospitals in Jupiter, Florida. Yeah, you probably can't go. Here's the real answer.

If I missed the birth of any of my children, I would be heartbroken. Like, it's not like olden days where... I mean, olden days, dudes would just fucking sit in the hallway with a cigar being like, all right, baby ready? Yeah, that was the best. Dudes would hand out cigars. Yeah. Like, I did it, guys. Yeah. You would be very, very upset if you... That's what you should just say to them. Like, you can go, but, like, have you thought about what happens if the baby's born? You'd be pretty bummed out.

I think, personally. But golf. But with the boys. The boys does make it a little trickier. All right, fun show, boys. Fun show. Memes? Hello. You're never going to get it. I would like to. Okay. New machine? Friday? Oh, if you get it right now? Yeah.

You don't like the new machine idea. It makes no sense to me. We're going to get the exact same machine. No, it makes perfect sense because then the narrative starts. What if we get new balls? No, you got to get a new machine. We got a new machine. Then none of us have ever gotten it. No, we didn't. We need to get a new machine when I want it. I'll personally pay for a new machine. Oh, should we sim? Sim real quick. Do one more sim. We'll do one. Numbers. Three. 77. 93. One. 52. 52.

All right, first one up. Oh, Bulls. Wow. Let's go. Hell yes. That shouldn't be possible. That would be crazy. You guys are going to win the play. 89. Crazy. 21. All right, do it again. I thought we were just doing one. No, do it. Best of seven. Best of seven. We got so lucky last night. San Antonio. Give me a break. Yeah. Philly. All right.

Utah. You're not even close, PFT. I'm so bad. I'm so bad at this. Every team. Miami. Oh, my God. It's every team, PFT. Miami again. Phoenix to Houston. Philadelphia. Did you just say yes to Philly? Yeah, he did. The Wizards logo is at six. That's like worst case scenario. How many of this that we're doing?

Until he gets to Utah. I don't know. We've done like 10 of them. Oh, my God. New Orleans. PFT, this is every team. Sorry, we're getting KD. All right. Everyone say your numbers again. 52. 71. 93. 99. 39. 21. 71. Never going to get it, memes. Friday. Love you guys.