Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. On today's Pardon My Take, we have Chicago Bears head coach Ben Johnson. We are live from the Combine in Indy. We're going to do hot, sea, cool throw. Max is back from his fitness vacation. Welcome.
Great to have Max back. Thanks, Hank. Thank you, Hank. Talk a little combine. Can you talk with a Canadian accent from now on? Yeah. Seriously. Yeah. Okay. No. Never mind. We have special guest Stephen Che doing guys on chicks with us. We have a great show coming your way, and it's brought to you by our friends at DraftKings. Hey, basketball fans. Are you ready to win real money? Check out pick six from DraftKings when it comes to basketball payouts. DraftKings pick six.
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And it's Combine Week. We're live from Indy in a conference room. It's Combine Week. The most magical city in Indiana. Yes. Indianapolis. That's facts. There's magic on these streets. Yes. So we have Combine Week. We have news coming out of the league. The Tush Push is being...
voted on to be banned, led by the Packers. An unnamed team has requested that the NFL change the tush-push rule. That unnamed team is the Green Bay Packers. The Green Bay Packers are being salty bitches about it. They're being salty about it. And for the record, I'm against banning the tush-push. This is the Ravens. It's John Harbaugh all over again. Yeah. There's...
You could stop the tush push. You could try to stop it, yeah. You could also stop them on first, second, or third down. Or you could just try jumping over the line of scrimmage infinity times in a row to try to stop it. Keep the tush push, but also allow teams to do that. I also feel like the Bills in the AFC Championship game, there's a pretty good evidence –
against banning the touch bowlers. Because it just doesn't work. The weird part about it is the Bills were the other team besides the Eagles that used that play the most this season. Yeah. And it worked for them until the playoffs. Until it didn't. And then it didn't work. And now Sean McDermott is like, yeah, I think I'm in favor of banning the play now. Well, it's just I saw someone be like, how do you stop this? It's like, well, don't let them get to fourth and two or fourth and one.
That's a way to stop it. How do you stop it? Hit the weight room. Yeah. Max, what do you think about people trying to ban the tush push? Loser mentality. They're all a bunch of pussies. The Eagles are the best at it. They work on it a lot. They practice it a lot. They have the right guys to do it. I don't know why you would punish a team for just being better at one play than the rest of the league. Well said. Yeah. I mean, they banned the slam dunk when Kareem Abdul-Jabbar was throwing it down too much. That's true. So maybe they'll bring it back.
I think it's stupid. I think it sets a bad precedent of being like, we have to ban. Maybe the only thing I would say is if you would want to ban being able to push...
players from behind because that that was the rule for a while so you yeah but you're talking about just let them do normal quarterback sneaks but yeah normal correct sneaks yeah the rule for a while was that you weren't allowed to assist a ball carrier you can have like alignment or tight end grab somebody and push them forward right like the uh the matt liner reggie bush yeah that would have been illegal at one point but then they took that out because they said it was too hard to officiate
I don't think it's that hard to officiate. I don't think so either. If you clearly see it, then you can call it. And I think the Eagles would still be able to do it even without the push. I think that their offensive line is that good and Jalen Hurts is that good that they would still be able to do it. And I'm in a great spot here because I'm firmly saying that I'm anti-banning the tush push, but I'm also going to be really, really happy when they do decide to ban it. Do you think they're going to ban it? I think they might.
I think they might. They did this last year, too. They do this every year. Yeah, but he didn't win the Super Bowl last year. Yeah, there's more. Way different. They don't ban nobodies. We also have Matthew Stafford looking for $50 million somewhere. Me, too. We all are. Yeah. Kirk Cousins found $50 million to be a backup. It's true. He's more likely to probably get paid $50 million than any of us. But where is he going to go? I think the Giants.
Why not the Steelers? That'd be fun. Is that Aaron Rodgers? I'm thinking if we're doing quarterback musical chairs this offseason, I think it's going to be Stafford and New York. I think it's going to be Aaron Rodgers, Los Angeles. I think it's Sam Darnold, Los Angeles. Stafford, New York, Rodgers. Vikings. Rodgers, probably the Steelers or the Titans. I don't know how much. Do you think Mike Tomlin would enjoy it? I think Mike Tomlin, he does like having...
personalities to juggle on his team. At this point, we can say that Mike Taha, he's done a very good job in the past of having some absolute psychos on his team. Now it's to the point where I think he actually enjoys it. He gets off on it. Yeah, he needs it to get out of bed. It's too bad that the Colts seem like they're done with getting old quarterbacks because that used to be – like they just took a job. Like jobs are being taken away all across America. The Colts have done that with old quarterbacks.
Yeah, I feel like that would have been the logical Kirk Cousins swan song. It could have been Stafford, Kirk Cousins or Rogers. Yes. Like, come on. Come on, Ballard. You know you want to. Right. You know you want to stop gap. Right. Do it, dude. So as it stands right now, Kirk Cousins, they've said that he's not going to be traded or anything. He's going to be a $50 million backup cup on the Falcons. On the Falcons. Congratulations to Kirk Cousins. What a move. $100 million guaranteed signed last offseason. Yeah.
Then they ended up drafting his replacement. Then he got hurt, allegedly. Then Penix just took his job. That's incredible. $100 million does not work. That's the American dream. But the Falcons also said that they were never informed of any injury from Kirk Cousins. What do you mean? So after the season was over...
Kirk's camp let leak out there. Yeah, it was dealing with a bunch of like shoulder, elbow, things like that. The Falcons are like, this is the first we've heard of it. I think it was just that he's old and had an Achilles injury. He might be old. And that's – it's hard to come – I mean, we're talking about two guys, Aaron Rodgers and Kirk Cousins, who were both old and had an Achilles injury. And they weren't totally themselves afterwards. Aaron Rodgers, top five quarterback. That's true. Top five quarterback for sure.
Also, Miles Garrett, the Browns have no plan on trading him, which I feel like they have to say. They just have to go through the motions of saying this, and then someone's going to make them an offer they can't refuse, and then they'll trade him. It sounds like maybe the birds. Yeah. We also had the GM for the Ravens said that Justin Tucker allegations are concerning.
I'd agree. If they're real, that is concerning. They're waiting for the facts to come out. That's concerning. So if true that he allegedly... Nothing on the Steve Smith ban thing? No, that's not concerning. No statement? No, I don't think so. I think they probably were like, listen to part of my take on Monday. They covered it for 45 minutes. Yeah.
More than enough on it. Yeah, I mean, in a perverse way, this is probably the best team that the Steve Smith thing could have happened to because they've got bigger fish to fry out there. Yeah, yeah. But he's not going to be the biggest pervert on the team. I mean, Justin Tucker, he's not going to play again, is he?
Yes, it's the NFL. We're waiting for all the facts to come out. We're waiting for all the facts. Are you kidding me? Yeah, yeah. When we said he was washed, we didn't know that it was a table shower. Yeah. Also, we had Aaron Glenn said players upset over Aaron Rodgers' decision. What's going on there, memes? Players are upset that they got rid of Aaron Rodgers? Which players? That's bad.
Quinn and Williams posted a thumbs down emoji on X when word of the team. That is such a 2025 story. Like, hey, new coach, can you please address the fact that one of your players did a thumbs down emoji? Yeah, he did thumbs down and he talked to Quinn and Williams and they're going to keep that conversation in-house. Okay. But the thumbs down was not in-house. The thumbs down got out. The thumbs down got out of house. Yeah.
Sometimes you just tweet thumbs down. You don't know what it's about. I don't think you know what the meaning of in-house is. Yeah. That's the most not in-house thumbs down I've ever seen. It was reactionary. Like if it was in-house, he would have posted that to Slack. Right. Or he would have gone private. Or he would have done it just in a DM to a random person.
Or he just would have walked around his house just going like this. Yeah. That's in-house. If he just walked around his apartment just being like, and his wife or girlfriend's like, what are you doing? He's like, can't even talk about it. Upset about A-Rod. Can't even talk about it. I'm just thumbs downing. Yeah. It's in-house now. Speaking of A-Rod.
He might get leagued. What? You see his half-court shot? Yeah, he hit a half-court shot. It's pretty impressive. Bucknell for 10K for a kid. Yeah. It's pretty awesome. Sign him up. Yeah. Get the Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sounds good, right?
Sound good? I participate in restaurants for a limited time. All right, speaking of the league, the association, Max, you are back. I know we talked about it briefly on Monday's show, but new reports came out that Joel Embiid could undergo a meniscus replacement procedure or a procedure where doctors break a bone in the hip to realign the joint and alleviate pressure. He should just retire.
disagree um if he wants to play he's a competitor he's gonna have to do whatever it takes to get out which which would you prefer your star player have a meniscus procedure or that they break a bone in his hip to alleviate knee pain that sounds horrible meniscus sounds better but who knows this could be some groundbreaking we've seen the meniscus surgery before
And he still gets hurt. No, but this one was called radical. Radical meniscus. What does that even mean? His recovery is on a skateboard. Yeah. He's got to wear some Stussy. The same Sixer who made orbital bone fracture and navicular bone fracture common phrases in Philadelphia sports lexicon. He's had two of each. He had two of each of those.
Might soon add one of these, meniscus replacement, low-dose radiation therapy, or even the ominous sounding osteotomy.
Oof. Oof, correct. I don't know what you want me to say. That's a big oof, yeah.
Breaking a bone to alleviate a different set of pain that you're having sounds... Sounds radical. Sounds radical. Either radical or it sounds like something you would do in the 1800s. Like a Civil War injury. Oh, you got shot in your pelvis? No worries. We're just going to take a sledgehammer to your foot. That way you won't feel your pelvis. Oh, you're a witch? Let's just break your hip real quick and see if you can survive. You guys aren't doctors. You don't know what you're talking about. I don't know what I'm talking about. Maybe it'll help. We'll break your hip. If your knee recovers, it means you're a witch and we have to kill you in years. Yeah.
Yeah, we're going to break your hip, and if you can still drop 20 and 10, then you're a witch. Yeah. I don't know what you want me to say. How fit are you feeling, Max? Huh? How fit are you feeling? Yeah, how was the fitness vacation? Fitness vacation was good. Yeah? I'm pretty tired. Any yard sales? I don't know what that means. It's when you fall and all of your equipment goes everywhere. Oh, yeah. And there's just a yard sale. One time, there was at one point, I accidentally went down a black.
Pause. Okay. I went down a black diamond. I fell almost immediately, and then I couldn't get my ski back on because the mountain was so steep, so I just went down stomach first like a penguin the entire mountain.
I was sledding on my stomach all the way down. And your skis weren't even attached? I was holding them, and then I dropped them because I was going so fast, and some nice fellow behind me got them for me and brought them down to the bottom of the mountain. How was the snow?
uh it was okay it was warm it was like people were there people were skiing with their shirts off not me that's the best it was it was real it was it was like 50s a little slushy good powder yeah nice yeah it was fun cool love that for you yeah no i had a good time your vacation i feel fit on non-vacation week do you miss vacation it's that
Hat tip. To take a vacation when we're... Yeah. It was a double vacation. I might do that next year. That is wrong. I work when you guys do vacation week. You did? On what? Yes.
Would you like a podcast? We still put out. Yeah, I guess. We don't miss any shows. That's true. That's a good point, Max. Thank you for your service, Max. Good point, Max. Thank you. You're welcome. Are you worried about Oldie at all? Am I what? Worried about Oldie. No, I don't know. Memes fuck me on all the captions. He just kept saying new producer. Canadian Max. And I had family members reaching out to me asking if I got replaced. Sounds like you're not worried at all.
I wasn't worried until Meme just kept saying new producer. Yeah. No, he had the X Factor. Oldie's great. He's a great character. I want him to be a part of this show very much going forward. I just don't want him to take my job. X Factor, though. Yeah. Maybe switch him to social.
What? Oh, yeah. Good point. Oh, he could do some memes. I would love to see Oldie signing memes. I bet he'd be great at it. That's a good point. We should give him the account and have him sign his name. Yeah. Oldie. Yeah, let's give him a run through. Max, do you want Miles Garrett? Of course I want Miles Garrett. Okay. How bad do you want him? As bad as Howie Roseman wants him. That's my answer. Would you rather have the tush push or Miles Garrett?
Miles Garrett, we would just sneak it. Would you go down on another black? I went down a black diamond. I fell. Go down on a black diamond for Miles Garrett.
Oh, yeah, for sure. Okay. I would, yeah. I would go double. I would go double black diamond. Double black diamond? Oh, PFT, you don't ski. I don't know. So you wouldn't even think about it. I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to do that. Sounds like he wants Miles Garrett more than you. This is what was concerning me about the report. It was that the commanders are looking to make a strong offer, but if they do, the Eagles are set to make an offer that he can't refuse. Ooh, that's big Dom. It sounds like big Dom is like, no, I'm going to leave a horse head in the club. Yeah.
That's big Dom. Canoes for life. This is why I'm terrified of having big Dom in the division because he can make trades like that happen. Yeah. Okay, do we miss any other stories? Anything else going on? Combine week? Anything important? I don't think so. We got Hot Seat Cool thrown, then Ben Johnson, then guys on chicks. Combine week. Memes is getting memes. I think memes is getting a little extra zesty right now because he knows he's got Rossini coming up tomorrow. He's fired up. He's getting his reps in. Although he did apparently see Rossini today and didn't say anything.
Just got to swallow his mic. Oh, no. Wow. But he probably tweeted something like 10 minutes later. Yeah, I've been told that memes saw her, made eye contact, and then did not say a single word to her. I said hello, and then I didn't say a word. How did you say hello? What did she say? She said, oh, hey, guys. Hug? No, she gave Max a hug. Memes, when she comes by tomorrow, you should just thumbs down her the whole time. Just keep your thumbs down the whole time. I'm in.
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On my hot seat are planes. Why? There was another, although I guess maybe they're on the cool throne because everyone's freaking out about planes. Planes are crashing. What's going on with all the planes? Today at Midway Airport in Chicago, a Southwest plane was coming down to land. It basically got to the ground and then it had to pull back up because there was a private jet landing.
like 100 feet in front of him. If it had landed, it would have just went straight into it. Runway incursion. Yeah. They did tug of power. Another close call. Took off and around. Fact check. Safer to fly than ever. Source. Fact check. Source. Reality. Reality. Is there any stats to back? Because last time I checked...
We've had one plane land, flip over, almost kill the entire flight. How many people died? Is there a chance so far? Any good landing is one that you can walk away from. That was a great landing. Is there a chance, though, Hank, it's like when you buy a car and then you see that car everywhere.
You are acutely aware of plane near misses. No. So now you're seeing them a lot more. It couldn't be that. It's actually, it happened on the way down to Indy. Stephen Che, who is 38 years old and was born yesterday, was enamored by the fact that there was an oversized load car there.
basically, you know, behind what was an oversized load on the highway. He's like, I've never seen that before. Again, I don't know how that's possible. We then saw it three times and had a discussion about Stephen Che's semen load and how it's still okay after the vasectomy.
That probably is what's happening here. I don't know how that applies to Stephen Chase come, but you get what I'm saying. No, Hank shoots an oversized load anytime he sees a video of a plane almost crash. Yeah. Now it's to the point where Hank almost enjoys the plane crash. You're just looking. You're just seeing it more. And the fact is, Hank, January of 2025,
fewer plane incidents than january of 2024 wow source how about that reality source is uh the documented worldwide incidence of plane crashes wait when did that plane crash in dc uh february i don't recall i think that was february but you are seeing january you are you are seeing more no i mean thanks to thanks a big guy i've been chilling out harder than ever um have you i'm just living yeah i don't look for these things they get sent to me
Well, yeah. I mean, I want you to be aware. No, I just want to live. So you don't want me to send you any? No, no. If like a thousand dolphins decide to beach themselves on a remote island, you don't want me to send it? No, mahalo. Okay. What about if like a huge flock of birds just flies into the Empire State Building? That's just life, man. Yeah. What about if the Empire State Building tweets something and then has to delete it?
Live and let live. Okay. All right. I mean, you're the one that put planes on the hot seat. Now you're saying like just chill out. Which one is it? What was the first one? No, I mean, I learned from my big bro, big cat. Like just chill out, man. Nothing matters. There's nothing we can do about it. We're all along for the ride. Nothing matters. Just enjoy while you can, you know. How about a little respect for the pilots of Southwest Air? Choose to be happy. That's a great move on their part. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I really should put them on the cool throne.
Don't worry. Be happy. Kunimatata. Yep. And then my cool throne is Timothy Chamelet. Oh, okay. He won a SAG award. And then I just liked, I liked the speech. He gave a good speech after he won a SAG award. And he's like, you know,
A lot of times it's when athletes and actors, they go up there, I just want to thank God, and I'm just so blah, blah, blah. He kind of was just like, yeah, I want to be one of the greats. I'm going hard. He hates God, yeah. He's having a moment. He is. Did he say anything? Did he say who he liked in Mississippi State, Alabama? He did not. That would have been nice. That would have been nice. That would have been nice. But he is – is he the answer for like – he could be the answer because we've had this discussion before, but like who is –
like a front of the poster movie star right now. Armie Hammer. It's Armie Hammer. It's like Tom Cruise. Did you hear about Armie Hammer's movie that he's doing? Yeah. Is he eating people? It's called The Dark Knight. Wait, is he back? Yeah. I thought he was selling real estate in the Bahamas. No, he's back. He's doing a movie. It's called The Dark Knight. It's a movie about a vigilante superhero kind of guy, and it's not related to Batman.
Army Hammer, shout out Army Hammer, because he basically has proven when everyone's like, I'm getting canceled, you should be like, dude, the guy actively wanted to eat people and he's back. Yeah, it was satire. Yeah. Kink Shaman now?
No, I'm not. I'm actually doing the opposite. I'm literally doing the opposite. I'm like, dude, if he can do it, anyone can. My favorite fact about Armie Hammer, it weirds me out every time I relearn this one. His grandfather was the CEO of Armie Hammer.
But his grandfather's name was Armand Hammer. Armand Hammer. He was the CEO of Armand Hammer, but he wasn't the founder of Armand Hammer. Whoa. So his name was Armand Hammer. The company Armand Hammer came out, and everybody was like, dude, you should buy this company because it's your name. And then he ended up buying the company. That's sick. So he is kind of the heir to the Armand Hammer franchise, but they didn't find it. Wow.
I had a fun fact that I forgot. I think I knew it, but that Tony Hawk's grandson is also Kurt Cobain's grandson. Yeah. That's pretty cool. He posted something about it, but that's the coolest kid that's ever been created. Is his name Mike? I don't know what his name is. Mike Hawk? Mike Hawk, yeah. That's his name. That is his name.
What are you looking at? Max loves that one. You pervert. He loved it. Well, Max is still fucked up from his fitness figures. All right. Sorry, I'm not allowed to laugh. No, no, it's okay. I like it. We got a little hungover Max.
From the fitness vacation. Maybe we can do a little remix of the outro song with some John Summit. Make you feel like you're still on vacay. Yeah. Summit crushed it, dude. How many times did you do this on your vacation, Max? A whole lot of that. Yeah? Mostly that. That was your big thing move? What are you looking up, Hank? I'm reading about the Hammer family. It is crazy, isn't it? Their grandfather was accused of murder in 1955. Oh. Oh, okay. But did he eat the body?
I don't know, but he was separately accused of sexual abuse by his daughter. Yikes. Okay. All right. Cool. That's some light stuff. All right. PFT. My hot seat is Bonnie Blue. She is a liar. She lied to us. No.
She's not actually pregnant. You mean Bonnie Blue who fucked a thousand dudes? Fake pregnancy. What? You think you know somebody. But is at least Lily pregnant? Still unclear about that one. Would they both claim pregnancy? I think one of them is pregnant. It's like magic and bird. I think her friend got pregnant and then she did the really shitty friend move and be like, oh, I'm pregnant too. Well, what she claims she did was she said that she...
said she was pregnant to get more money on her OnlyFans account, and then she used that money to pay for her friend's fertility treatment, IVF, because the price of eggs is going way up. So there is a pregnancy. Someone is about to be pregnant. Got it. And I think the other girl, Lily, I think she might be pregnant, but now it's like a boy who cried wolf situation. Got it. But she only fucked 100 guys, right? Yeah, I think so. So probably not pregnant. Wait, wait.
Elon should really lean into it and just put a rocket baby in Bonnie Blue. I agree. I mean, that would be... If people are going to just trash him, might as well just go all the way. Yeah. Just being like, boom, rocket baby with the thousand chick guy. I agree with that. Thousand dude guy. For our listeners, I mean, obviously, I'm really good with this stuff, but IVF is... Fertility stuff to help have babies if you can't have it. Intervitro fertilization. Mm.
You got it. Yeah. In vitro. In vitro. They used to call them test tube babies. You know that. Yeah, it makes sense. It's where they take, you like nut into a bottle and then the girl nuts into a bottle and then you mix them together. You stir them around. Girl nuts. They get the little whisk thing with eggs. They whisk it. You froth it. And then you have to water it and then put it in sunlight and then boom, baby.
It's pretty cool. But yeah, so Bonnie Blue, liar. Yeah. Couldn't. Well, I guess Cool Throne, Paul Bissonnette. Yeah. He can still munch that bin. Yeah. Although I think maybe hot seat Paul Bissonnette because there was a chance he was going to maybe be a father. He would have been the dad who stepped up. Yeah, exactly. All right. My Cool Throne is Gronk. Yes. Yes.
Hank, did you hear about this? I did. So there was a report today amongst the Denver media that Rob Gronkowski is considering a return to the NFL and that he would like to potentially play for the Denver Broncos. Wow. Is this real? No. 0.0. The report from some random account, it was the facts that were going off of it was that Gronk worked with Sean Payton last year.
or on Fox the year before, and he likes Bo Nix. Okay. Well, I think there was a little bit more to it than that, Hank. Was there? Do tell. Why would that report just come out? They've worked together way in the past. Is there more that I missed? League sources tell me four-time Super Bowl champion Rob Gronkowski is considering a return to the NFL.
He worked with Sean Payton Fox, and I'm told he loves Denver. You left that part out. You left that part out. You did. So you were trying to get us off the same. I forgot that he loves Denver. Also... Which there's no way that's true. You very conveniently left out two major parts of this report. One, he loves Denver. This guy's false. That's definitely false. A guy was told that he loves Denver. That's definitely false. And also...
Two of his brothers, Dan and Chris, had short stints to the team. Oh, there you go. So there's clearly history there. There's a big pattern there. No, Dan was on the team for like a year. I don't even think Chris was on the team for a full year. But yeah, loves Denver. Well, DenverSports.com is reporting. I do like the idea of Gronk retiring and then being like, man, my body feels good, and then just keep coming back.
Yeah. Until he's like 60. He's also like the ultimate responsible with his money guy. Never spent any of his playing money. Only spends his sponsorship money. Has a trillion sponsors. Like he does not need the money. No. He loves football. No reason. No, he doesn't. He loves Denver. And he loves Denver. He loves Denver. You're forgetting the Denver part.
I did. I was. I forgot. I forgot about that. How would he possibly live in Denver if he wasn't playing for the Broncos? There's no way. You can't do that. If they're looking to bring on a guy that hasn't played in the NFL as a tight end, I feel like Jokic would be a damn good tight end. But does he love Denver? I don't think he loves Denver. I don't think he loves Denver. And his brothers. I don't think his brothers ever played for the Broncos. Yeah. Yeah.
You're pretending like this is fake. What was the last line again? Well, the last line was that his brothers both played for the Broncos. Oh, what was the line before that? He worked with Sean Payton at Fox, and I'm told he loves Denver and quarterback Bo Nix. That was, yeah. He loves Denver, dude. He's going to be a Bronco.
There's no other way for him to do this than be a Bronco. I think it could happen. Yeah. All right. My hot seat is... Oh, also, Baby Gronk has committed to Georgia. Oh. He said he will commit to Georgia. I hate that kid. No offense. Why? University of Georgia. Yes, I got your offer. But is there any baddies in Georgia? Who? Excuse me? Any baddies? Jenny Smith, what are you doing in Georgia? Baby Gronk, are you stalking me? You found a body. Don't look at me.
Oh, side hug. And he hit her with a side hug, too. Damn. So he got the offer. He's committing to Georgia. Do you think Baby Glock absolutely hates Georgia?
Big Justice and the Rizzler. Because I feel like that was, you can point to where Baby Gronk went down. Maybe it was actually when Baby Diggs showed up. Yeah. Because he can lock down Baby Gronk. Would you say, hey, did you call Baby Gronk Diddy? I called you Diddy. Why? Because you were just breaking down him, finding a body. He's like 12 years old. No, he said there are no baddies that go to Georgia. Then I said, then I misspoke and said body instead of baddie. Okay.
You know what, Hank? You're on an all-time hate streak right now. He's just mad. I'm an all-time honest streak. I speak my mind. I don't know what you want me to do. You're clearly rattled by the fact that Gronk loves Denver. Yeah. And it's nothing against baby Gronk himself. It's obviously his family. But that is the weirdest internet storyline that exists, I think. Not...
The Costco guys. I came around on them. Okay, good. I came around on them. You're on the right side of history. Yeah. Yeah, Max. It was honestly when they came to the office, he was funny and I was just like, I was like, oh, not gonna lie. And Jerry wants to fuck their mom. I was talking a lot of shit. Oh, he's like, oh, doom. It was so funny. Jerry's talked me into Mama Justice. Oh, yeah. He's shown me enough clips. I've been Stockholm Syndrome. Mama Justice has got it. Yeah.
Have you guys seen the newest child stars on the internet? No. The Maryland Foodie Boys? Oh, yes. I love those guys. They are awesome. We actually are like, we shouldn't prop these guys up because they're going to take our job. It's a bunch of 12-year-olds who have a food podcast, but they haven't tried any food because they're 12. Okay. So like- They did a pizza topping discussion and they all were like-
I usually just like cheese, but I guess maybe pepperoni. That was the whole discussion. Put that clip in here. Ryan, what's your favorite topping on a pizza? I'm just a... If I had to choose, it'd probably be like pepperoni, but I'm not a big... I'm not a big... I'm just a regular cheese guy.
I just do cheese. I don't do pepperoni. I just do cheese. I don't really like pepperoni. It's kind of a weird taste. I'll do pepperoni, but same thing. A lot of people are big pepperoni fans. I like meat lovers, too. I have meat lovers. I'm
I'm not a big fan of it. I'm not a big fan of like the sausage in general. I've never had a meat lover. None of them liked pepperoni. They didn't like pepperoni? It was too spicy for them, but they have a food podcast. I love that. They had a long discussion about what actually are dry rub wings. I want to see the episode where they get introduced to ranch on pizza. It's so awesome, dude. One of the kids said that he hasn't
Had a different lunch since kindergarten. I assume he's probably in sixth grade, but he just, it was peanut butter and jelly, yogurt, chips, fruit, and a juice box. I love that. He's had the same lunch every single day, but he has a food box. And they're just like, yeah, let's talk about this today. It's like, has anyone tried it? No. What is this? Strawberry jelly? Oh yeah. We got to put the clip in for the pizza. One had me dying. They're just going around being like, yeah, I'm kind of just cheese. Yeah.
All right, my hot seat is anyone who hates Taylor Swift. Not us. We love Taylor Swift. We're Swifties. Because Travis Kelsey is not retiring. Okay. So his GM said that he was pumped.
For him to be back. Okay. So that was a fun little thing. So is that confirmed or is that just the GM says that he's pumped? The GM said he was pumped. I feel like Travis Kelsey should always be pumped. Chiefs GM expects fired up Kelsey to play in 25. Okay. Fired up. How we left the end of the season is that he was fired up. I think we left it as he'd be back and we're excited to get him back and get him going. So cool throne is the Swifties.
I also saw a story, an unconfirmed report, that she's got a beef with Blake Lively going right now. Is that true, Hank? Hank, explain the Blake Lively, Ryan Reynolds thing to me in three sentences. Blake Lively, diva, gets in fight with director, enforces her power and uses Ryan Reynolds to shape a narrative for...
Oh. Movie flops. Then she goes back and blames the director. Oh. Even though it was her that was kind of doing everything the whole time. So we're Baldoni. And then now everything's getting public. We're Baldoni bros? And Baldoni is just releasing everything. He just started a website and he's just leaking every single conversation. Got it. Every single piece of evidence he has.
I think he's also a little bit of a diva. Like, it's kind of they're just doing PR. Got it. Let's just get some articles going. It sounds like this type of stuff happens all the time on basically any movie. I just I just I think Ryan Reynolds is the biggest loser out of the whole thing. So what? For being a good husband? Yeah, but he just he was, you know, a beloved person, I feel like. And he's kind of looking a little scummy. I haven't changed my opinion on him. He's a wife. I don't have an opinion. None. I don't really have. No, I don't watch the Marvel movies.
Was he in Waiting? I enjoyed Van Wilder. That was funny. Yeah, Van Wilder, Waiting, two great films. Deadpool. I liked the Welcome to Wrexham thing. Yeah, that's cool. That's one of those stories that I know it exists, but I never read anything. And then it popped up again with the SNL 50 when everyone's like, how could he make this joke? Well, so they're suing. And in the lawsuit, Blake Lively is saying she's caused emotional damage by everything that's going on. So that's like...
in the lawsuit. So you can't. So then to go to SNL where his ex-wife, who he left for... Who? Scarlett Johansson, who was married to Colin Jost. Maybe not a white guy. Colin Jost. So he left Scarlett Johansson to start dating Blake Lively because they were co-stars in a movie together. Classic scumbag move. And then...
To show up at SNL 50 and then make a joke about it when in the lawsuit they're saying she's so emotionally damaged that this is happening. Like it kind of, you know, playing both sides there. But is there any truth to the fact that there's a rift between Blake Lively and Taylor Swift now? I think Taylor Swift... I don't know. I don't know about that. That's Swifty stuff that I'm not fully caught up on. But...
Blake Lively was in Taylor's box forever. After all this stuff happened, she was in no box to be found and nowhere to be found with Taylor. So I think that's just Swiftie speculating. Ryan Reynolds went from Scar Jo to Blake Lively? Yeah. Fuck that guy. He's had a good time. Damn. Yeah. I mean, respect, but fuck him. Take my hat off to him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, my cool throne is actually all of us. Nice. Because Sidney Sweeney is not getting married as of right now.
Good for us. I thought you were just going to say because we're getting the phone. Oh, the Woj phone?
Listen, I'm going to try to buy a Woj phone for our good friend Mark Titus because he loves Woj. For people who didn't see it, Woj is auctioning off his old phones for St. Bonnie's NIL. And if you're like, why would I want his old phone? Well, let me pull it up real quick and give you a little explanation for why you'd want it. So this is one of the phones you could buy from Woj. How about this, Hank? Would you like this one?
iPhone used to break Paul George, Kawhi Leonard to the Clippers. Woj used his phone, iPhone XR, from 2018 to 2019 to discover and announce major NBA news, including Kevin Durant and Kyrie Irving teaming up in Brooklyn, Anthony Davis joining LeBron James in Los Angeles, and Paul George and Kawhi Leonard both landing with the Clippers just moments apart around 2 a.m. That's pretty cool. It's more than just a phone. It's a piece of history. That is...
A huge phone. iPhone used to break NBA suspending season for COVID. That one's a hell of a phone. I don't like that phone. I actually did text Woj and I was like, do you have any other phones that we could buy black market? And he's like, he's going to look for us. Okay. Because I would like a Woj phone. I mean, that brings up a good point. What phones historically would you like to purchase? I think...
The Brett Favre phone? Yeah. The Brett Favre phone would be good. Joe Horn. Joe Horn's phone from underneath the uprights and the end zone. Tom Brady deflate gate phone.
That thing's destroyed. I would like to buy the Diana Rossini reporting on Max's farts in two sodas phone. We could actually probably make that happen. I might still be active. I want that phone. That might be an active phone. Yeah, it might be. Bad. I'd like the phone where... On Friday, we'll have Schefter on it. I would love the phone where the Des tape is stored. That would be nice. But yeah, we should maybe sell some of our... Stuff like that makes me wish we... Imagine if we just had...
archived all of our shit instead of just throwing it away or like doing the pile donations this big cat phone has over five million dollars lost in gambling you are really gonna want this one whose job hypothetically would have been to archive all the part of my take stuff that would have been you how's the bonkless going this year
Let's pull it up. Because the people love it. Yeah, they do. You just aren't doing it. That's not true. I maybe just got way less horny this year. Way less horny. I turned 40. Lost my mojo. Is me saying that we all got a shot with Sidney Sweeney on the blacklist? I'm back. I'm back. Because we all got a shot with Sidney Sweeney. This is confusing. Not 0% chance. I can see it from here. It is not a substantial list.
Oh, no. There's one entry. There's one entry. Okay, Hank, give us the bonk list right now. It's not completed. PMT stats and info. We're going to have to have you help out Hank and maybe get some bonk lists going for him. No, I mean, there hasn't been much. What do you mean? We do the bonk list in the middle of summer, so it's been six months. Did we even do it last year? I think we had the same issue. No, I had one from last year. I had one from last year.
I have one from last year. So we did do it last year. We didn't do it on the show. All right. So we have two years. Maybe. We definitely did it on the show. PFT is Mike Pence. Assume Max was going to say sexual things to female coworkers when? Oh, when he wouldn't go on the bachelorette party. Oh, yeah. No, that's not it. No. You wanted me to...
Oh, PFT's Mike Pence. Like you assume that if Max is talking to female co-workers. Yeah. You wanted me after the Eagles fan was disrespectful to the women. You wanted me to go up to the women of Barstool and say something nice. Oh, yeah. But you just assumed everything was going to be sexual. No, say something nice, but respect's right. I just told all of them they're really good at their job. That's a weak, weak bonk list, Hank. Yeah, your bonk list sucks, Hank. I started the bonk list like myself. I know. It was my passion project. It was not an assignment. People want it.
People want it. Okay. Let's do our interview with Ben Johnson. Before we do that, we've got a couple of ads. We'll get to Ben Johnson in a second. He's brought to you by our good friends over at Lucy. Lucy is the obvious choice for the true nicotine pouch connoisseurs. That's why they are the official nicotine pouch partner of Barstool Sports. Lucy pouches go up to 12 milligrams in strength, have a unique shape that feels great. Lucy breakers are the only pouches with a hydration capsule inside.
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And now, here's Ben Johnson. Ooh.
Okay, we now welcome on a very, very, very special guest. It is head coach of the Chicago Bears, Ben Johnson. Coach, thank you for joining us. I have a loaded first question for you. Can I start with the first question for you first? Yeah, okay. All right.
Super Bowl scenario. Okay. By the way, I watched an AI thing where they simulated the next 10 years of the Bears with Ben Johnson and Caleb Williams. We won two Super Bowls. I like that. Yeah, pretty good. Scenario, Super Bowl, Chicago Bears versus New England Patriots. Who are you rooting for? Bears. Bears. You are? Bears all day. Okay. Bears. Good. We got that one out of the way. Bears, yes. All right. My first question is a very important question. Very important question. Cat or dog guy?
Yes. Good answer. Good answer. Thank God. All right. That's the end of the interview. That's all I needed. There was another coach that we had on. There might have been another coach. A few years ago that said not only cats, but multiple cats. Yeah. That should have been a red flag. Who was that? I don't know. Forget the guy's name. Might have been the coach before you for the Bears. All right. So you're a dog guy. Do you have a dog? I do not have a dog.
Okay, but you love dogs. I like dogs. I like dogs. Okay, I should end the interview right where we ended it. So you don't own a dog. Are you an aspiring dog owner? No. Okay. But you love dogs. You appreciate their work. I don't have time for pets, guys. Okay, that's fair. That's fair. Football is life. Football is life. So I was actually, I was a little bit worried that you were not going to show up today because you love canceling interviews at the last second. Is that true? Oh.
That was a harder question. Hard question. It sounded like a statement. I was expressing my deep fears. No, honestly, I did want you as the coach of the commanders last year. I think it worked out well for everybody involved. No question. Yeah. Washington had a great year. Yeah. Great year. Yep. Great ending.
All right. So you've been the Bears head coach for over a month now. Is it has it kind of settled in that you are a head coach in the NFL? Like that's it's pretty, pretty damn cool. Like has it started to be like, whoa, I'm actually running this organization.
Yeah. Yeah. I think it's, listen, it's been everything I wanted it to be. I know that it's been five weeks and a lot of work and getting the coaching staff together, getting schedules in place. And it's a lot going on. So I haven't had a chance to reflect yet or anything like that, but no, it's exactly what I wanted. I love that. I love that. Would you say you're an offensive guru, a whiz kid or a QB whisperer? I'd say a damn good football coach. Oh, I like that.
Cause my next question was going to be like, which one of those is the best leader of men? And does any of this shit matter? No. Yeah. Listen, yeah. None of those terms matter. I hate all those terms. Actually. I agree. I want to be a damn good football. I want to be, I want to be remembered as a Andy Reed esque or Belichick S like that's, that's what I aspire to be. I like that a lot. You seem like a, like an intense guy, somebody who knows very clear about your intentions for everything. When did you know that you wanted to be a head football coach?
I think it's been every step along the way. That's when you start looking at the next step. And so when I was, when I got, when Dan Campbell promoted me to tight ends coach, there was a point I was like, man, I could, I love this job. I could do this for the next 20 years. This is great. But then eventually you're like,
Well, I would love to call plays too at some point. And so, well, you get the opportunity to do that. And then once you're calling plays for a little bit, you're like, oh, well, there's another ladder to climb here. So yeah, over the last, call it three years, that's where it really came to shape. I can't tell you I got into this business to be a head coach. That really wasn't
It wasn't the intent. The intent was to be around some really good people. And I love the game. I love the sport and everything that comes out from it. And so it's just been a natural progression. And it's really the next step. I heard that somewhere along the line you were writing code. Yeah. Is that true? That was a long time ago. Like in a football capacity? Yeah, to a degree.
That's pretty cool. You were watching film figuring out ways to arrange data or what was that? Yeah. So it was a way of taking what was ever already inputted into the system and organizing it a different way. So listen, it's not fun or sexy to talk about. I don't think we need to. That's pretty cool. It's an interesting ability that you have because –
If you were to go back 20 years, how many football coaches have ever written code trying to organize their systems? It's probably 0%, right? There's probably not many. Yeah. There's probably not many. Yeah. I mean, that's a pretty cool part of your past. I'm sure that there's – I mean, getting to this point where you're a head coach of the NFL is an incredible accomplishment. I know you have a lot more things you want to accomplish, but being a code writer, I can't imagine that's – like PFT said, there's probably not a lot of guys who've coached the NFL who did that. That's pretty damn cool.
Yeah, if you think so. Yeah, I do. I think it's cool. I'm counting as cool. All right. So I love Caleb Williams. What do you see in Caleb Williams and get you excited about coaching Caleb Williams?
I would say what stands out, which is different than where I came from, would be the ability to improvise the creation when things break down, extend plays, throw on the move outside of the pocket. He's a dynamic athlete. He's got all the intangibles, I believe, that the great quarterbacks have. He wants to be great.
he wants to be coached. That was important as well. So I'm still getting to know him, but I really can't wait to get to work with him. Yeah. Yeah. One thing that I really love about your coaching style is all the downfield laterals that you do. You like those? I love them. So we've been talking about that on this show. I think every single head coach that we've interviewed, I've been telling them like more downfield laterals, there's ability to break open big plays and
by the way that, you know, defenses are coached on how to tackle swarm to the ball, opens up gaps. You use that as much as anybody in the NFL and your offense. Is that something that you've like grown up looking at the, you know, the percentages and done all the analytics and said, you have the ability to make bigger plays. Like how did that become a key part of your playbook? Let me start first.
The head coaches you did talk to, what did they say? Were they going to? They would kind of laugh and they'd say, well, no, they would laugh and they'd say, yeah, but you also have a high risk of turning the ball over. Oh, come on. That's baloney. That's what they said about the triple option. Yeah. When that came to light. Right. And so, listen, it was last year. We're watching self scout as a staff and we're
Uh, there was a certain concept we'd ran a number of times a year before. And it was like, well, what if we did that? You see the same reaction from the defense. It didn't matter what coverage they were in the same reaction. What if we just sent another player going the other way and we, we threw the ball to him. And so, uh,
That's really how that came to light. We did probably, what, four or five of them this year in Detroit, and they ended up being a pretty darn good place. But you've got to have the right players, too. It was St. Brown. You get the ball to St. Brown, he's going to make sure he's doing the right thing with it. He's a dog. You have to coach it. You have to have guys that are ready for it, guys that are ready to pitch it. And if you watch rugby, there are people that are very capable of, while they're getting hit –
offload the ball, boom, break it for a touchdown. Well, you see, you see Kansas city do it, but that's a little bit more ad lib. I feel like, you know, whereas we were a little bit more detailed about the relationship, but it, like I said, the triple option, I'm sure when that came, came out years ago, everyone, what the hell is this thing? And, um,
You know, I feel like this is just our version of the modern-day triple option, if you will. How deep is your bag? It's deep, right? Oh, it's deep. It's deep. All right, so settle this debate, though, because every time – this would happen to you where you guys would run a trick play, even specifically the one you ran against the Bears where Jared pretended to fumble and then hit that touchdown pass, and everyone's like, why would you run that in the regular season? I've always thought –
You're just giving the defense you're going to play down the season another look they have to be ready for. So if Jared just – if he trips even a little bit, they're like, oh, shit, there's another trick play. Is that kind of how you look at trick plays? Like there's no, hey, we're trying to hold something back.
because we're just making it even harder for them to game plan you don't know when they're gonna be good again right because they're really predicated on the defense you're playing that week and so if you're going to invest the time and the energy to install it and practice it on the field then why wait what could be another four weeks before you actually get a chance to run it right might as well capitalize on that opportunity right now and not to mention there's a million plays you can
run. There's a million plays and we've only scratched the surface of what we're capable of doing right now. And so, yeah, we'll scratch one of those million off the list and okay, we got a bunch of them left. Let's go on to the next one. That's a deep bag. Do you ever find yourself like maybe even when you're sleeping or just like, you know, driving and something pops in your head, you're like, oh, found another. Yeah. Yeah. It happens. The best times are in the shower. That's where we go. Yeah. You got nothing else to do, but
Your mind's on football in the shower. That's where the best ideas pop up. Ben Johnson is beating you from the shower. I like that. I like that. I haven't heard that one before. Do you have an overall football philosophy? Yeah, and this stems from John Shoup, who actually coordinated it in Chicago early 2000s.
He was a coordinator when I was a senior at North Carolina. Caleb Presley knows him very well. And he used to say, yeah, we want the same things to look different and different things to look the same. And so really that's the starting premise for offensive football. That's what it was since I took over as a play caller. I like that. Wait, the same things look different. We're not smart. Different things to look the same. Same things look different. So you want, when you're doing different things, you want people to be like, oh, they're just running their vanilla offense. Yeah.
I think I'm going to dumb it down. It's kind of like, like a delivery of like a fastball and a change up come from the same arm slot. That's right. Okay. That's right. I got it now. That's right. Yeah. That's right. Uh, how important is the running back for you? Very important. Yeah. Yeah. You know, uh, was very fortunate to be around some good ones over my career. And I think the best ones, what they do is they elevate the players around them. And so, um, yeah,
Really, they've been the tone setters, the best offenses I've been a part of, the best teams I've been on. That running back position has really been vital in terms of getting the game going. When things are going in a lull, which will happen from time to time, get it in his hands and he'll pick us back up again. The running back position is huge. If there was a great running back that was around in the draft, you'd think, man, that guy would be important.
Certainly. Yeah, I would think that way too. That's a good answer. I like that you've already kind of, you're very comfortable doing the, I know that I'm getting too close to something and I can't give away too much information. So I'm going to sit here and smile and let you guys figure it out. You're beyond your years on that. When you were working with Coach Dan Campbell in Detroit, one thing that we love about Coach Campbell is we think that he's actually very, very smart.
He's a super smart guy. And sometimes he likes he likes to toss a little red meat out to the media to get them talking about a lion on the sidelines instead of, you know, trying to actually figure out what he's up to in the games. But he's I think he's an underrated, intelligent coach. He knew exactly when to go for it on fourth down, according to actual statistics.
It wasn't like sometimes it might've been overall motto of we're going to be aggressive, but it was all backed up by math on that. Was that like going into every game? Did you know the exact scenarios where you had to be prepared to go for on fourth down? And if so, did you stay with the, with that plan or were there times where he had to deviate from the plan? We, we, uh, he, no, you're right. He's super intelligent. Yeah. Yeah. And, uh,
I've learned a ton from him. Each week was its own entity, though. And so it wasn't like you went into the season saying, hey, every fourth and two, we're always going to go for it. That was not the case. It just depended on the week, the opponent, how aggressive they were, the weather. There's all kinds of factors that come into play. And so going into the game, yeah, he would have shared that information with me of, oh,
man, once we hit midfield, if you can make it fourth and three or less, then you're going to have a green light. And then over the course of the game, once we hit that range, he would be in my headset and tell me, hey, you got four downs here, which would tell me, oh, I just got to make this fourth and three or less. And so what that allowed me to do as a play caller was we ran the ball –
shit ton on third down. Right. You know, to make it into those manageable situations and a lot of those runs we ended up converting anyways because that's actually the best time to run the ball. So it was – I think that was his whole grand scheme. You know, he's a – there's a lot of science behind it. He contains multitudes. Yeah. We always like – we're dumb fans and I think most fans are a little dumb in this way where we're like, oh, he's going for fourth down again. But it felt like for the Lions specifically, you guys –
were you knew you were going fourth down way before that. You know what I mean? You knew that that drive, like, hey, this is going to be a drive where, like you said, fourth and three. So it's not a surprise to anyone on the field. And you're planning for that. And you're calling plays, you know, three, four plays ahead. Yeah. And that was the play style there, too. So the players knew it.
The players knew exactly what we were getting into, not only on offense, but also on defense. They knew, well, there's a chance that we're not going to convert. And now they're going to have to defend a short field or something like that. Right. You know, the buy-in is so important to any team that you're a part of. And fortunately there in Detroit, there's a lot of player buy-in. Was there ever a time where Dan Campbell, when on the headset, he was just like, no, Penn, that's too crazy. We can't do that.
No, I don't think so. I think he's, he's, he let you let you let it rip. Yeah, absolutely. That's awesome. I love that because you're, I mean, your trick plays are very fun to watch and they're, they're, they're like, I mean, back to that Jared Goff one, that was, that was an insult play.
We can just say it right now. That was an insult play to have a fake fall down and score a touchdown, but it was damn cool. And I'd just be like, damn, that was pretty damn cool. I appreciate it. It made it come to life. Was it on Thanksgiving? Or it might have been the other time you guys played the Bears where you just had Pene Sewell just stiff arm like four guys. Yeah, that was Thanksgiving. Was he planning on throwing that?
or was it designed just have him run over as many bears as possible? In hindsight, it should have been that because that was fun. But no, he threw the ball probably half a dozen times the previous three weeks in practice, dimes every single time. Oh, wow.
Dimes every single time. Put it right on the money. You're talking about 330 pounds running probably 15 miles an hour to his right and throwing it right on the money. Yeah. I don't know if I've seen a more athletic movement. Yeah. That's pretty crazy. It has nothing to do with Thanksgiving, but how are you with timeouts? I like to call them. Okay. But you know when to call them? Yeah. Okay. Okay.
So you're like 30 seconds left, kind of scrambling. You got a timeout in your pocket. Maybe call it. Yeah, if you need it, you call it. Okay. All right. That's good. That's good. Clocking is important. I got another coaching scenario for you. Go ahead. At the end of a game, let's say you guys have a lead. I think...
I think it might be a two point lead, maybe three point lead. Um, the opponent has the ball around the 45 yard line. What 45 yard? Uh, minus 45. Okay. And there's, I don't know, like four seconds left. There's two schools of thought on how to defend it. One, you use 11 guys to play defense against the Hail Mary. And the other is, uh, you have one of your players flip off somebody in the crowd on the Hail Mary. So I know you're an offensive guy. So maybe this hasn't occurred to you. What,
You said I don't need to answer this. You don't have to answer this. You know what? I'm going to speak on his behalf. He doesn't have to answer this. Okay. That's very fair. It's just me gloating. It worked out well for Washington. Yes, it did. And I think it's worked out well for everyone involved. Sliding doors. We got to interview Caleb on the podcast back in August of last year. And I asked him this question. I'm curious to know your answer to it as well.
But if there was a button that you could press, and if you press the button, the Bears would win 10 Super Bowls, but one random Bears fan would die.
Would you press that button? I already gave up my life. So as long as they build a statue being like he died for 10 seconds. Can I just give a body part instead? Yeah. Pinky. Yeah. Which body part would you sacrifice? I've got the three kids. My wife is already telling me what I should do next. So I guess we can go with testicles. That works. Done. She said I'm good. You didn't have to do both of them. You could have just said one's fine. Just one. Give us both. All right. I got a tough question for you. Would you rather have
Five Rolls Royce Spectres, a beachfront house in Miami, or a 100-foot boat? I guess the beachfront house in Miami. Okay, the correct answer was all of them because you make $13 million a year. Says who? You can afford all of them. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Yeah, you can afford all those. That's pretty cool, right? That's cool. Here's a question from a mutual friend of ours. How much do you squat?
Oh, I don't know where this question is going. I asked Jared if he had any questions. This was Jared Goff's question. How much do you squat? So I don't know if you could say none or... You know, I go ass to ankles. Okay. And so...
I probably could get 405 right now. That's pretty good. You don't look like a guy. What do I look like? I don't know. I didn't know where the answer was going to go. 405 is pretty insane. You look like you're built like a steel trap. Do you squat a lot? Yeah, once a week. Okay. 405 is legit.
Damn. Do you get in the weight room with the guys? No, no. But they've seen me. They've seen me occasionally. Yeah, you got to let them see you just every now and then. Listen, I'm no Campbell or Vrabel. I can tell you that right now. Yeah, I mean, those guys are awesome. Dan Campbell, yeah. Something he works out in the shower.
you're thinking of plays that's actually a perfect microcosm really you're drawing something up in the steam on the glass door he's over there bang out some pushes let's get ready to rest there's there's levels to this yeah um is there a chance that rome june's day is going to be in the slot this year oh yeah okay around all over the place i like that uh-huh multitudes everywhere yeah
Yeah. Get multiple. Same things looking differently and different things looking the same. I love that. I've got a serious question. So you went back to Detroit a couple times when you had offers to be a head coach elsewhere. You want to make sure that you were ready. You were committed to the team. I thought, like, actually probably a smart move. You're not ready to go until you're ready to go. And then the Bears position opens up. Now you go to the Bears and you have to play the Lions twice a year. Did that influence your decision one way or the other? Yeah.
No, listen, I think when you go from coordinator to head coach, you're looking for a great situation. And that's what I felt like Chicago had to offer. I felt really strongly about the ownership, George McCaskey, President Kevin Warren, Ryan Poles, obviously. I felt really strongly about that setup. And I felt like we could win not only in the near future, but long term as well. But just as a consequence, it ended up being in the division. Is it ideal? Yeah.
Probably not because I have a lot of love and respect for those guys that I just came from. But it'll make a couple Sundays each year a little bit more fun. Yeah, it will. In terms of play calling, you're going to obviously call plays, but you're also going to be the head coach. Have you –
Like, how does that work? Is that, are you not worried about it, but it's obviously a difference because you're, you're now worried about the whole team, but also calling the plays. Have you talked to anyone who does that? I know Sean McVay still does that. Some other guys, have you talked to anyone who does that and like try to figure out, all right, this is what it's going to look like. This is how it's going to be. Yeah. I experienced it when I was in Miami. Gase was the, was the head coach and he was calling it. And listen, what I've done, what I've tried to do, at least when, when bringing all these guys together is,
what are my strengths and my weaknesses and trying to shore up all my weaknesses. So I know on game day, I'm going to have a lot going on. And that's where having Dennis Allen in the building and on the sideline is going to be huge relief because he's been there. He's done that. I have a lot of trust in what he can do on that side of the ball. Richard Hightower is a carryover coach for special teams. He's got a lot of skins on the wall, highly respected coach.
special teams coordinator. And then there'll be a game management portion that's up in the booth that'll have to be my eyes up top to help navigate some of those processes so that we don't fall into some traps there at the end of the game. Yeah, because I'm always just amazed when guys do that. Like when they show Sean McVay sitting on the sideline, he'll like sit on the bench
calling up the next plays. I'm like, but you're also the head coach. But again, we're dumb. Well, it's all about the people you put around you. Yeah. That's what it comes down to. Yeah, 28 guys that you have on your staff? Yeah, we got a great mix of experience and energy.
And, uh, I think idea guys. So I, I feel really good about where we're at. Are you an acronym guy? Do you have an acronym? No, no acronym. Okay. Love that. Love that. That's a great answer. That's a great answer. Dog guy, not an acronym guy. Love that. Okay. Uh,
The center position, I would assume. I mean, you're going from obviously the Lions had an incredible offensive line. Bears are in a transition trying to figure it out. How important is the center for your play calling and your designs and what you're trying to do? I would say it's less about me and it's more about the quarterback position.
So with Caleb being a second year player and everything that that entails, he's still I thought he had a productive first year in terms of exposure of a lot of things that can go on. But to help him out the most here going forward, I do think we need a strong presence at center, smart player that can help set the table from a run game and pass protection perspective. Yeah. Do you feel like...
Your mastery of offense gives you a better insight as to how to lean in and give some examples to your defense coordinator, some ideas that you can pass along and be like, hey, if I want to stop this, here's what I would do. Yeah, we'll have those conversations. Certainly within the division, I already have a good feel with some of these teams in the division what may or may not be good ways to go against those teams. Do you hate the Packers?
I don't like the Packers. Yeah. Hate's a strong word, but no, I don't. You hate them. What about the – you do. You do. You don't know it yet, but you do. What about the shot at our friend, Matt LaFleur? I liked it. It was kind of different because a lot of times when a Bears head coach gets announced, they'll be like, we got to beat the Packers. You just kind of threw a subtle one in there. Do you know him at all? Not like that, no. Okay. Oh, I like that. No. Yeah. You don't know him like that. No, I don't know him like that, yeah.
Did anything get back? No. Listen, it's a friendly rivalry going on. So it'll be fun. Yeah. In 2025, the Bears are 1-0 against the Packers. That's a fact. That's just a statistical fact. That is true. You got to keep going. Going only with facts here. That's a fact.
All right. So in terms of the draft in the combine, you obviously have been to the combine many times. But as a head coach now, like, are you how much does a combine actually matter? Does it actually like is it more just, hey, we got to go watch the tape. This is just.
kind of an addition to everything we're doing? Or is it like, Hey, we're going to try to maybe find a diamond in the rough here. It's another tool. So, I mean, it's the first exposure we get personality and football intelligence with the formal interviews. So, uh, just another tool, but yeah, I'd say the end all be all is the tape. Yeah. Yeah. How many, what's the longest you've gone without watching tape? Good question. Good question. I don't know if I have the answer for that one. Has it been like longer than a week?
it's probably been about a week have you taken a vacation and gone somewhere you don't bring the ipad with you no private browser when you're in the bathroom looking at some tape incognito money i swear i'm not looking at tape right now but you probably watch a ton i would imagine oh yeah yeah like how many hours a week would you say oh shoot probably 40
Full-time job grinding tapes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's crazy. I mean, particularly during the season, but off-season, it adds up. And is it –
I mean, we're not tape watchers like that. I watch some Twitter tape. But is there moments where you're like aha moments that you find in those 40 hours that are just – I would imagine that's why you keep going back to it. Yeah, that's where those ideas pop up. Right. Last offseason about the laterals and then we had some other cool stuff with Lyman splits, moving them around and things like that. So, yeah, you kind of collect that as you're watching everything. Big Cat asked you if you ever got reined in by Coach Campbell. He was like, that's too crazy.
but have you ever had to rein yourself in? Was there a play that you designed and you were like, this is too much? No, I mean, the best example would have been that stumble bump play from Jared. I actually wanted him to put the ball on the ground. That's insane. He's the one that told me, I don't know if that's the best idea. So yeah, I mean, really the players will start bringing us back down to earth. Yeah. Did you practice it with him putting the ball on the ground? No, he said,
Said no way. Probably smart. That would have been one where if it worked, it would have been maybe the best play ever. But if it didn't work, it would be like, this is the dumbest play ever designed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Do you have a certain amount of shots that you always want to take in a game? Like you're like, all right, we got to take at least five shots or it's been this long since we've taken a shot. Changes each week. Yeah. So it depends on the opponent. Yeah. Yeah. Some weeks you'll say, hey, we need one each quarter. Other weeks it might be a little bit more conservative than that. Yeah. But yeah. I got a play call for you. Yeah. What do you got? It's called the fake punt punt. Yeah. I can already tell you're intrigued. So you line up for a punt.
You fake the punt like you're going to run a fake punt. So, like, maybe the guy, the punter catches it and, like, pump fakes, but then he punts. I like it. Yeah, because then everyone comes up and then you get a free, you know, if you're trying to get them to not return it.
And then you do the fake punt, punt all season long. And then finally at the end, you actually fake punt. It's like the fake flea flicker run. Yeah. Yes. Right. Yeah. But just the special teams. Yes. I love it. Fake punt, punt. Now we're talking. If you do the fake punt, punt, I'd be the happiest guy in the world. Are you coming to OTAs this year? Yeah, I'll be there. Okay, good. We'll install that. I've seen one team do it. I think they did it by accident in college. Yeah.
I think they just screwed up their punt position. Those are the best ones, though. Yeah. It works. No one returned it. It just rolled down. That's right. Yeah. My overall football philosophy is that the check down is always open on a flea flicker. Always. You can get seven yards every time on a flea flicker. Yeah, I agree with that. Every single time. You got the tight end dragging across, make a hole off inside of that. Yeah. I'm also very stupid. I apologize. Do you like shovel passes? Okay. Why not?
It's just been feast or famine. Yeah. I like a little bit more consistency. Okay. I like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But there's a time and place. Sure. I like to dabble. Keep them off the, yeah. Sometimes shovel pass. Do you like fullbacks? Yes.
Love that about you. We have a fullback award, which you are more than welcome to have a vote for. I did not know that. The low man trophy. Yeah. We've been doing it for, I don't know, six or seven years. Tyler Crowe from Boise State won it last year. Really? Yeah. How many NFL teams have fullbacks? Not a lot. Probably count them on one hand at this point. They're coming back, but it's more like an H-back where you have to be able to be a fullback and a tight end and a lot of different stuff. But there's something, I mean, what are your thoughts on Bear football?
On bear football? Yeah, bear weather. Chicago bear football. Yeah, bear weather's great. It's going to be a weapon for us. Yes. Get some of these dome teams in December and January. It'll be perfect. So when me and Big Cat watch games, sometimes we just scream at the TV that you have to establish the run. Is that important to you? Because you're a math guy. You know that if you run the ball,
more frequently you end up winning those games based on the numbers afterwards which has nothing to do with getting a lead and then running the football to drain the clock or anything like that but what are your feelings on establishing the run uh depends on the week depends on the week that's not that's not every week yeah and yeah there's different ways to win
Yeah? Yeah. Okay. The choice to come to the Bears, I know you talked about it a little, you know, a few minutes ago, but it seemed like it happened pretty quickly. How did it go down? You know, obviously the loss happens on Saturday night. And then Sunday, did you look at all your options and then wake up on Monday and be like, all right, it's Bears? Well, I think it started with having that first round bye.
the years prior, you know, didn't have the ability to really think through some things. And so we had some time off and, uh, all, all four interviews that I took, I was able to actually think about going into a little bit. And so, uh,
I had a very good feel that this is the direction I wanted to go. I'm not saying necessarily Chicago at that point, but I knew I wanted to be a head coach this cycle. Um, and then once I got on the interview and it just, it absolutely clicked with Chicago and the leadership group and, uh, Ryan, I love Ryan. Um, I felt really strongly about, about that place. And so that's right when that happened, it got off the call and it's like, this is where, this is where I want to go. And so, um,
you know, the season ended in such an abrupt fashion, uh, give Washington a lot of credit because, because they did, they earned that, that thing. But, uh, you know, it was really planning on, on going deep in the playoffs there and making it to the Superbowl. So it was a tough way to go out. And, uh,
you know, it all escalated very quickly after that, you know, had about 48 hours of exit meetings and everything. And then, and then, yeah, it was, this is what's going on and let's go ahead and get it done. Yeah. Yeah. What happens in an exit interview? Uh, the players come in, they had their physicals and just make sure they're, they're healthy. And then, uh, they'll meet as a team offense with your position coaches. And then some guys would come, come by my office as well as the coordinator and just, you
What do I need to work on or things like that? Honest thoughts. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's a crappy time. It doesn't seem like a very fun day. Yeah. 31 teams. It's just it's the worst day of the year. Was there a part of you when you took the Bears head coaching job where you're like, I'm losing a little bit of being the hottest name every single cycle? You're like, I'm kind of giving this up.
Because you were. You're the hottest name ever. Part of me would be like, I just kind of want to keep getting talked about like this. Like you can't get talked about like that anymore. Yeah, it wasn't really part of my thought process. Okay, that would have been part. I would have been like pros and cons. Like people aren't going to say that I'm the next genius. You know what I mean? Now I'm going to have to prove it. I probably would have pussied out and been like, I'm just going to stay being an assistant. Yeah, it's good. It's good having undefeated it.
Right. The hypothetical of you as a head coach was incredible. Now you actually got to prove it. Well, AI, AI, AI, AI said two circles in 10 years. That's facts. That's facts. I heard that when you, uh, when you did the interview with the bears, you, you stopped at the last minute and you went back to him and you just said, I want this job.
Yes. Is that true? Yes. Is that the only team that you said that to? That is. So that was the, the bears were the one you had identified. Like, just so you know, this is the one that I'm interested in. That's right. That's a, I imagine a very powerful thing to say at the end of a job interview to somebody. I would imagine so. Right. Did you, did you feel like they, they reciprocated in that moment? I think they liked that. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
All right. I got one last question. This has been awesome. Thank you for joining us, Coach. Roback question, R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com, promo code TAKE. 20% off your first purchase, Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Roback.com, promo code TAKE. Last question. I know I joked about it with the Porsches and the Mansions and all that stuff, but did you at least buy yourself something with the new contract? No.
You didn't? Here's what happened is we found a house and then my wife all of a sudden, she's like, well, I want to redo the kitchen. I want to redo the bathroom. All right, so that counts? Yeah. That counts as buying something? Yeah. That's where it's going initially. Okay. Are you concerned about moving to Chicago? From our personal experience, at least mine, you put on a little weight when you move to Chicago. I need to put on some weight. I lose it. I lose it during the season. I was down about 10, 15 pounds by the end of the year. That happens every year for me. Is that just stress? I don't know what it is. Maybe.
Okay. Yeah. I need that diet. I don't think that's going to be a problem in Chicago. Yeah. Keep squatting. 405, man. What a bench. Not, not nearly as much. Okay. You know, Norwegian, Scandinavian. So I got the thick lowers. What, what, what was your peak squat? Peak squat? Uh,
Was probably like 455. Damn. Yeah. That's pretty good to still be at like pretty close to it. Yeah. Yeah. How old are you again? 39? 38. Okay. What about – We're old. Yeah, we're very old. Shit. What about peak bench? At your max? 315. That's not bad. Yeah. I can't get there. I'm nowhere near that now though. What are you doing on calf raises? Oh, man.
I could crush you in cap. How many last, last question. How many super bowls do you have to win to become more famous than Caleb Presley? Who you went to the same high school, both went to UNC. I think you not only have to win multiple super bowl. I think you got to get the trifecta. I think you got to get three in a row.
Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe, maybe have Glenny balls come and pump up the boys one time. That would be nice on a Sunday morning. Yes. Yes. I like where your head's at. I got his number. If you need a guy, I can contact you for him. Yeah. Just eating big bowl of ice cream. That'd be great in the background. Yeah. You win a playoff game. It's like the secret sauce. You guys, you guys get hard knocks and then you, you give your like, you know, big fiery first speech of the season. Glenny's just sitting behind you in front of the whiteboard. Just eating. Yeah.
shoveling some rocky road and bad thought it is very funny you told us right before that you you would watch Sunday conversation like before games just to kind of chill out as my pregame routine what else is what a world what else do you do relax because what he called this reverse I feel like you're all football that's what do you do to relax
Three kids, three young kids. I mean, they keep me on my toes all the time. What ages are they? Eight, five, and one. Yeah. I got my hands full. It's football and it's family. That's...
Love that. That's life right now. Love that. Yeah. All right. Well, coach, thank you so much. Great talking to you and let's go win some games. I'm staying six out of 10 excited. That's my, that's the limit. Got to win. Okay. Yeah, you're right. I said a lot of reckless shit last summer. Okay. Let's go win. So we're going to, I went and I looked at the process. We made some tweaks to the process.
We go in and then it gets back to 10. I love it. I love it. Let's do it. It's a good plan. All right. Thanks, guys.
Ben Johnson is brought to you by Planet Fitness. Big, big deal alert. Friday, February 28th is the last day that you can join Planet Fitness and save $28 or more. $1 down, $15 a month, cancel anytime. That is a great gym membership. That's a great deal from our friends at Planet Fitness. We've got a Planet Fitness in the office. We've all been working out more recently. I've noticed that. The boys are making gains, feeling strong. Hank, what have you been working on over there?
glutes and lats yeah I mean Hank all due respect your body's been looking right thank you you've been looking fit big cat I've seen you over there working out getting jacked out I've been working out where are you hitting
I'm hitting squats. I'm hitting bench. I'm trying to do a mile a day on the treadmill. That's pretty good. Yep. Yeah, I'm doing some of the stairs. I'm doing some upright rows, getting the arms in. Planet Fitness is the absolute best, and this is a great deal, but you have to act before Friday, February 28th.
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Stephen Che Stephen Che is with us in the combine his annual make-a-wish trip he was like oh my god Todd Bowles down the hallway why is he here it's a combine you love it Che Che's looking around with stars in his eyes I do yeah it's cool to see coaches rubbing elbows it is one of my favorite trips that we do with you although we don't do a lot of trips with you but you do love the combine more than anyone and it's like
Getting to see it through your eyes. It's cool to see guys in the wild. Yeah. Guys in the wild. Indie. Yeah. Yeah. It's real wild. Who's the biggest guy, not physically, but the one that you love the most that you've spotted in Indie the last couple years that you've gotten excited about?
Good question. I was excited to see Bucky Brooks of the Move the Sticks podcast, Rich Eisen. I've been a fan for a long time of him. Scott Collinsworth. Yep. Chris Collinsworth. We just saw on the way to here. So yeah, all
All the guys that you see, like guys that I will watch press conferences for on YouTube for the Bucs, and I get to see them. He's not with us anymore. He's alive, but he's with a different team. Casey Rogers, our defensive line coach. It would be cool. It's the biggest week for adults with backpacks, I feel like.
I feel like. I don't know. This hallway, this convention center, it's just packs of like four people. Remember that time we saw Rapport in his backpack? It was so big for him. He had the little shark backpack too. Yeah, I know. It's a big backpack week. You see a bunch of dudes that used to be in shape are extremely well-groomed when it comes to their facial hair wearing lanyards and backpacks. Yeah, lanyards. Big lanyards week. Yeah, but this is basically like my Twitter feed and –
you know what i watch on youtube come to life yeah so it's cool love it all right um all right guys on chicks it's like a fan fest but just no for steven chet not a lot of fans i do like the description of like it's his twitter feed he's walking through the hallways and he's like oh this is yeah wow i didn't see bonnie blue here yeah anyway he got a little uncomfortable with that one
I bought my new BF underwear for Christmas because his are old and gross, but I realized this week he hasn't opened the new pack. When I asked why he said he prefers the old ones because he's already broken in the heat sleeve.
When I asked what the heat sleeve was, he said it's the slit in the front. And he calls it that because on hot nights, he'll pull out his package of sticking balls out of the heat sleeve and sleep that way so his balls don't stick to his legs. Okay. He told me that with the new undies, the heat sleeve is too tight and he can't get fully comfortable when it's junked out. Should I leave him now or marry this man?
I, that sounds like he's got a hammer. Yeah. It sounds like he's got a package. I don't know. It sounds like he's also just very horny. I think he takes that out of his sleeve every night, hoping that you'll roll over and accidentally touch it. Yeah. There's no real reason to, to pull the boys out. I didn't think he'd go heat sleeve. I will say in his defense, uh, I'm a big time, like get a package or get something and just not open it for a while.
Like, I just have boxes. I'm just like, especially if I order something online and I know what it is. Like, in my front hall right now, I have, like, a hat and new shoes. And I know what they are. I just haven't gone around opening it. They've been sitting there for about a week. I thought with Heat Sleeve, he was going for, like, you know, guys like to have our ass groove on the couch. Right? We've broken that in throughout the years. When you get a new set of underwear, you have to break that in, too. Yeah. It's like, I know how I fit in my old stuff. Or it could...
Do you ever get the underwear that just doesn't have... A heat sleeve? No, just like a thing where you can pull your dick out in the front? That would be a heat sleeve. That's literally what we're talking about. The barn door. How do you not know about a heat sleeve? I don't know. You just described what it was. But like, I have some underwear where there's just nothing. Right, you gotta pull down. Yeah, no heat sleeves. What are we talking about? We're talking about heat sleeves. Everyone knows heat sleeves. The heat sleeve is, you wiggle your penis through it and then you pee. Okay, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. You just read the quiz.
You just read the question about the heat sleeve. We didn't know what a heat sleeve was until you told us. And now you still don't know what a heat sleeve is. Well, he was saying that it's too tight. I'm saying that there are some that don't even have one. Okay. Like it's a wall with no door. Yeah. Let's say you got a heat sleeve on and you're wearing a pants with a fly. How often are you actually going through versus going under? Never. I go through. Or over. Or over.
I think if it's a... On like 10%, maybe. It's a big heat sleeve. I'll go through there, but sometimes it's easier to just pull down. I don't even use my fly because I know I'll just end up pissing on myself. But then sometimes if you go over the top, it kind of pinches it off a little bit. Well, I go balls over the top too. But when you put it away, then you dribble out. You squirt out a little bit at the end. Well, I dribble on my balls in that case. My big ass balls. Nature's hate. Tiny penis, big balls.
Side pouch. No side pouch, but I want one. Hey guys, my boys. Do people have sex through the heat sleeve? Yeah, definitely. Mormons. Oh, what? Yeah, it's weird. For sure, Mormons. Why would you not just pull the whole thing down? It's a good question. Why would you believe that Steve Young's great-grandfather was God? Why you?
My favorite quarterback run ever against the Vikings. Hi, guys. My boyfriend's friends are pissed off at him because I made him go out to dinner with me twice last weekend, Valentine's Day weekend. It was for Valentine's Day. The other one was Saturday night too. His friends say he should just continue to be a bachelor for life, especially since they claimed –
He has changed and couldn't even get him to come out to watch USA Skull Fuck Canada. Are they overreacting on him for the time I am spending with him? Yes. I don't understand why they were so mad at me for making him miss the hockey game. Well, they love him. His buddies love him, and you're a threat. Yeah. You got to give him a couple big ones like the USA Canada would have been a good one because then immediately guys are dumb.
And if your friend is like, yeah, I'm coming out for USA Canada, they'd be like, oh, man, you really are dating a cool chick.
I like her. On Valentine's Day? I might try to take a pass at her. That would be a tough one to explain. Like, why are you skipping Valentine's Day? Well, because there's this tournament that just got created that I care deeply about. If you're a hockey fan, you could make it pass. But to be like, yeah, I got to lock in for USA Canada. Also, yeah, this is partly his fault. Like, you need to – the sports calendar is set –
I think most women know what the sports calendar is. When you have like a four nations thing, you need to do a lot of prep work. You need to be like, hey, listen, there's a tournament coming up. Because that's not something normal that's in the sports calendar. You got to say my country needs me. Yeah, right. Yeah, if you're going to – These guys sound young.
too. Yeah, I think that's a classic young thing. He's probably the first one with a serious girlfriend. Yeah, you're so whipped. You went out to Valentine's Day dinner with your girlfriend. Yeah, that's crazy, dude. That's so gay. Going out to Valentine's Day dinner and the next day with a new girlfriend is crazy. Because Valentine's Day dinner, that's going to run you $200 at minimum. Yeah. Are you calling chilies? At minimum. There's a good chance that they like each other.
It sounds like they made it official. Yeah. Space it out a little bit. You've never gone out two nights in a row? Yes, I have. But Valentine's Day is like the event. This is just a situation where the guys are going through culture shock. They probably all are single, and then there's one guy who's got a girlfriend. You just got to ride the wave. It'll be fine. They'll all feel stupid once they get comfortable. They're not serious, even if they are. Yeah, that's just how we joke. Yeah. If you have some girlfriends that are also single. Yeah.
you should introduce them to his guy friends. Correct. That way, hook them up, worlds collide. Yep. All right. How much would you say my boyfriend should, how much say should my boyfriend have in decorating our apartment? My boyfriend and I are about to move in together to a small two bedroom apartment.
He has a plethora of sports memorabilia slash frat boy decor that he claims is non-negotiable to be hung in the apartment. Some of these items include a huge canvas of dogs playing poker. Cool. Signed. Awesome. Dudes rock. Signed Braves baseball bats. Okay. Light up vintage Bush Light sign slash other beers sign. These count. The absolute worst of them all is a four foot bobblehead of John Gruden that we've
No. Send it to us. Send it to our office. Being in a two-bedroom apartment does not give enough room to have a man cave. Should all these items be up in our new apartment together? I was getting ready to take her side in this and being like, guy, he probably doesn't want that much space. He doesn't care that much about decorating because if you go over to a woman's apartment, especially in college, and compare it to a guy's. Four-foot apartment.
It's literally two different species. I think what you need to do is you need to do the right thing, get him a storage locker, and be like, when we have more space, you will have your own space. That's fair. Because you cannot get rid of it. If you make him get rid of the four-foot bobblehead, that will be a part of his life that will die forever. All right. By the way, I think Hooters is back. Wait, no, there's one more. The one I texted you. I'll read it. Okay.
I just broke it. I don't know what I did. I'm so strong. Shadow Planet Fitness. I'm so fucking strong. Max, just hold it for him. Yeah. Like a fishing pole. All right, well, let's just end the show. What do you got? What's up, boys and Wally, Pitt, Max? Are wives and girlfriends justified to be mad about your Instagram algorithm? Thankfully, I haven't had to deal with this. No. But I was just curious what a girl would think if she saw my algorithm is 100% big natural tit. Same. Love the show. I'll hang up and listen. No. It's AI. It's AI.
I think it's just like... I do click on the tits, though, so I get more tits. Guys and girls both love tits. Yeah. But it's AI. What are you going to do? I mean, you can't get mad at technology, right, Max? What's yours, Hank? What is yours? Golf? It's like 80% golf. No, there's some tits mixed in, but mostly golf. So mine used to be 100% planes and dogs. The jello. Look at mine. Mine's tits. Mine's a lot of tits. Sharks and tits.
That's some good stuff right there. I curate it. Like if I pass by tits, because you got to click on it, that way you get more tits. All right, I haven't checked this in a while. It's like a bottomless coffee cup of tits. It was. It used to be planes and dogs. Now it's dogs and football. Love that. I think I'm living right. Yeah. No, you can't get mad at technology. Take it up with Elon or Zuckerberg. That's not his fault. Just for you, you like what you like.
And also, it's good to know that they're just a – what is yours? His is mostly Blutman. Oh. Liam Blutman. All right. So what? You just have Blutman. Yeah. It's just a lot of Blutman. NBA, shoes. There is a – Did you say shoes or Jews? Shoes. Shoes. I mean, some of these people are probably statistically Jewish.
And Liam Blutman. And Blutman. All right. Kanye Che. Yeah, you can't get mad at us for that. That is just technology. The phones are smarter than we are. And we like tits. That's all you can do. Hand up. Hand up. I love tits. I am but a man. Love racks. Shout out to Nadeau. If you caught me, do I not bleed? All right. Let's kick it to ourselves. We got Lottery Ball back in studio. All right. Numbers... Five. Three. Four. Interesting, Hank. Are you going back up the ladder? I go...
61. 99. Asher. 78. 21. 93. 93. Love you guys.