Jayson Werth, Xander Schauffele, Mt Rushmore Of Round Things And Fyre Fest
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Hey Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. On today's Pardon My Take, we've got a twofer for the people. We've got an awesome interview with Jason Wirth in person. MLB legend, won a...

with the Philadelphia Phillies. Kind of won a championship with the Nats. No, he didn't. No, he basically did. Yeah, kind of did. Which team retired had a ceremony for him to put him in the ring of honor? What did you say? Which team put him in the ring of honor? Well, your franchise is like five years old. No, I just think that's interesting. Also, it's the Montreal Expos, which goes back a very long time, but that's fine. Uh,

So we have a great interview with Jason Wirth. We have a great interview with Xander Shoffley, open champion, now good friend of the show. We might be on his coaching staff. We're going to do the Mount Rushmore of round things, and then we're going to finish off with Firefest of the Week. The MMA event of the year, Battle of the Giants, is coming up fast.

Lineal heavyweight world champion Francis Ngannou makes his return to the cage versus Hanan Ferreira. Women's MMA GOAT Chris Cyborg takes on 2023 PFL champ Larissa Pacheco.

Johnny Ebelin goes toe-to-toe with Fabian Edwards with the Bellator middleweight title on the line. Battle of the Giants and Ganu vs. Fajera goes down Saturday, October 19th at 4 p.m. Eastern Time on ESPN Plus Pay-Per-View. Okay, let's go. Oh boy! Now we live with violence And not a lot of work to be done

No place to go washing, and then I can't name all of the songs. We're gonna rock down Electric Avenue, and then we'll take a, we're gonna rock down.

It's a part of my take presented by Barstool Sports. Welcome to a part of my take presented by DraftKings. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app. Now use code TAKE. That's code TAKE for new customers to get $150 in bonus bets when you bet just $5. Only on DraftKings. The crown is yours. Today is Friday, July 26th. Is there anything you'd like to say to me, Big Cat? Sure.

And to Hank, who's not here. What? Happy Uncle's Day. Happy Uncle's Day. Thank you. Yes. Happy Uncle's Day. Thank you. Thank you. I also am an uncle. Oh, happy Uncle's Day. Thank you. So I should say to myself. Happy Uncle's Day. Yep. Hugh, are you an uncle? Nope. Okay. So you're out. Memes, are you an uncle?

I am. Yeah, happy Uncle's Day, man. Happy Uncle's Day. Hank is not here. We are actually on vacation next week, but we still have all the shows. So next week's schedule, Sunday, PFT and I will be in studio. Max and Hank will be on a much-deserved vacation. Wednesday will be the Takeys, which...

I'm fired up. 28 takeys, I think we're giving out. And then Friday, we will have a very, very special guest, and we'll be doing a Zoom show, and then we're off to Grit Week. I'm very excited about what this next week and a half has in store. Yes. Now, it is, we are on vacation next week, but to Hank's defense, it's Wednesday of the week before vacation. Yeah, so he left Wednesday. Yeah.

But that's fine. He did do the Mount Rushmore with us, so we taped three Mount Rushmores, so we'll all be participating. But yeah, Hank, when we were like, hey, we're going to take a vacation last week in July, he's like, great, I'll go the second to last week. And the last week. Yeah, yeah, exactly. He deserves it. He's had a tough summer. Which, speaking of, it's such a shame Hank's not here because, boys, I think, I don't, listen, we've been doing this a long time.

A lot of the things that we talk about here are from other shows or we're not claiming, you know, Mount Rushmore. We love doing Mount Rushmore season. Obviously, it was a joke when we're like, yeah, we invented Mount Rushmore season. We did not invent Mount Rushmore season. There's a lot of things out there that we are part of, but we don't take credit for inventing stuff because everyone's got ideas. Everyone's doing different things.

I do think we had a part in Jason Tatum aura conversation becoming mainstream. Yes, the Jason Tatum conversation has reached its apex. Stephen A. Smith put out a podcast yesterday and he titled it. You know, you're doing the rundown of what the podcast is going to be featuring. Here's how he described his podcast. Another horrifying police shooting.

Does Tatum lack aura? Ooh. So we're going to get to the bottom of maybe both those things at the same time. Yeah, and so Carmelo Anthony also came out and said that Jason Tatum will never be the face of the league because he lacks aura. Anthony Edwards has aura.

I'm actually good on it. I don't think we, I I'm, I'm good on the discussion. I'm like, we, we settled it a long time ago. It just was interesting that it's now become like an actual thing that people, the fodder in the middle of July. That's what you got. It is Mount Rushmore season, which we invented as big cats. Correct. But this is a, this is an interesting conversation because it's like, it's undefinable. Yeah. You can just say like whether or not you like the guy or not. Correct. Um, and we also, uh,

began this whole conversation 100% just to piss Hank off. Yeah, I mean, I don't even know what aura means. Everything we've said about Jason Tatum and Jalen Brown to a certain extent has been just to piss Hank off. Yeah, if Hank wasn't here, we'd be like, those guys are fucking awesome. They're probably going to win multiple championships.

And who the hell cares who gets the MVP and who has the aura? All that matters is winning. But Hank is usually sitting here, so we have to say they probably hate each other and Jason Tatum has no aura. But also, to your point, in those two questions, Jalen Brown has both those things. Yeah, he does have a lot of aura. He's got aura. He actually has overflow of aura. Plus 1,000 aura. Yeah. Yeah.

What would you say if you were to do like statistics on Jason Tatum's aura? I'd say he's like negative 650. Yeah, that sounds about right. I was going to go like minus nine war. Yeah. Wara. Yeah. Wara. Jalen Brown's like a plus 28 Wara. Yeah, that's the guy. It's hard to replicate. Yeah. All right. So the other things we have going on, it is training camp. So we are starting to get some of the training camp news. We had Jim.

Jim Harbaugh, welcome everyone to training camp in their new facility, The Bolt, which looks incredible. Inspired by lightning. Yep, it looks awesome. He said, training camp feels like being born. It feels like coming out of a womb. It's comfortable, and then poof, you're born, the lights are on, people are looking at you. Yeah, I mean...

Being born is a lot like training camp, for sure. You put your head down, you hit the hole. You just need 10 centimeters of daylight, and then you explode. And Harbaugh, I feel like he hears the word labor, and he thinks hard work. Yeah. So he's like, yeah, that's what training camp is. It's work. It's giving birth. I wouldn't be shocked if Harbaugh maybe also gives his players some breast milk.

Oh, yeah. Just being like, hey, we got to build stronger bones. What's like the pre-cum of breast milk, the liquid gold stuff? I don't know. The stuff that bodybuilders take. Oh, I don't know. It's like a special type of highly concentrated breast milk. I'm sure that Harbaugh's got the boys shooting that up. Yeah, three yards in the cloud of placenta. That's his offensive shape. Yeah, I always get placenta and paella confused, and they're very different. Extremely, especially the taste. Placenta is delicious. Yeah. Yeah. We had...

Also in Cardinals camp, did you see this? Jonathan Gannon. Now we joke about Jonathan Gannon, but this one had me thinking like he might be in trouble because, and he was kind of being funny, but he said that he and several staff members did a deep dive on the concept of momentum, apparently going back to wars in the 1800s. Okay. And after all the research, when he was asked about it, if momentum exists, he said, perhaps I have no idea.

That's great. That's great. So he did an exhaustive research study on it. Wars. And it's undefined. Anytime a football coach comes back from summer for training camp, I've been looking at some wars. Except for the Browns offensive line coach being like, the troops didn't stretch before they invaded the beach at Normandy. Yeah, Bob Wiley. It's interesting, though, that he is trying to figure out whether or not momentum is real by doing a scientific study on momentum. Just ask a sports fan. Just...

It might as well just be vibes. Yeah. Like, vibes are real. Ask a gambler. They're sitting there and watching a game, and they feel it going bad. That's momentum. Like, I can tell you when a team that's winning is going to lose the game. Yeah. It's like when they... It's usually when they have a black bird that's on the side of their head, and they play in Georgia. Yeah. Yeah. It's like 10 years ago, 15 years ago, when there was that whole discussion, like, clutch actually doesn't exist. I'm like, nah.

We've been watching sports a long time. Clutch 100% exists. It definitely exists. There's no way to explain how some people are just better and rise to the occasion and other people don't. Isn't momentum also clearly defined by Isaac Newton? Yeah. I'm pretty sure it's one of the laws. He's the one who said momentum is your next day's starting pitcher? Yeah, he said... First he said, what the fuck is this apple doing falling on my head? Ow! Yeah, and then he said, yeah, I don't know if...

if I can pinch hit for Derek Jeter. Yeah, yeah. So momentum's real. It's definitely real. And also in sports, like, vibes are 100% a thing. In war, I think they call it, what do they call it, just when your team's down, it's a French term, the esprit de corps or something like that. Okay. If your army's pissed off and they're lazy and they don't want to go fight, they're going to get their ass kicked. Yeah. So if you're getting your ass kicked, then that means you're more likely to get your ass kicked. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Other training camp notes I wrote down for you. Dan Campbell has the biggest podium ever. Yeah. I love that they built that for him. They basically built the podium so big that he can't break it with his hands. Because I think they were probably nervous that if he gets upset and he, like...

pounds his fist, he'll break the podium. It's a solid podium. It's an indestructible podium. It's the unsinkable podium. It's the Titanic. I like it with Dan Campbell. I would love it if it was like Mike McDaniel behind that giant podium. Yeah. It would just be so funny because of how big it would be, how small he would be. He'd get lost. I think that might be podium of the year for next year. Yeah, it is. We should have put that into the takeies, but it came too late. Lincoln Riley said he's coming quickly. They're coming quickly. Mm-hmm.

It was about baseball. Weird seeing, seeing like all USC and UCLA and Oregon and Washington, the big 10 media day. Uh,

We got a lot of media days going on. What was the context behind we're coming quickly? I think it was talking about like, are they going to orgasm? Okay. Yeah. That's unusual for someone who represents the Trojans to say that. Yeah. Usually that takes a while. Yeah. Yeah. But maybe ribbed for her, his pleasure, his pleasure on the inside. Yeah. But, uh, and then the, I think that was all the training camp. Oh, we had our first training camp fight chiefs.

No, no. Oh, it was the Titans? Incorrect. First training camp fight was the Houston Texans. Oh. Which I think we said on the show, the AFC South was going to be the first division of the fight. Yeah, they always do. And the Chiefs had one, too? The Chiefs had one as well. Interesting. I saw the Jerry Jones talk today. What'd he say? He addressed the media. AI Jerry Jones or real Jerry Jones? Real Jerry Jones. Not dead Jerry Jones. Okay. He said he was talking about the DAC extension and the CD-LAM extensions that he's working on, and then he compared himself to Patrick Mahomes. Hmm.

He said if you have an option quarterback like Patrick Mahomes, famous option quarterback that we all know, you want to wait to make your decision until the defense gets up on you and then you can make your choice. And he also said he's more all-in than he's ever been. Oh. So he's like way in. He's been very all-in. He is balls deep in.

He's been all in every single year for the last 20 years to nothing to show for it. Well, he's been also he's been distracted recently, shall we say, with his paternity lawsuit. Oh, yeah. What ended up happening? I don't think he's well, either he's the dad and doesn't have to pay for it or he's not the dad. Got it. So he's saying because he doesn't have those distractions, he's going to be able to commit 100 percent of his time to the team to being all in, which is.

Apparently a good thing in his mind Okay yeah Yeah you don't want him all in No you want just the tip Yep

How mad would you be if the Cowboys got actually good, Max? Would that like because it's it's kind of a fascinating thing to think about because the Cowboys have not been a threat, an actual threat in a long time. I know that they have had good seasons. They've won a couple of playoff games, but they have not been to an NFC championship game since the 90s. 1996. Right. So I don't know about. Yeah, that sounds right. Yeah. That's when they won their last Super Bowl. Yeah. So would it would it destroy you?

I don't know. I got one more year. No NFC East team ever goes back-to-back. So I'm good for this year. You need this year. Right, BFT? Yeah. We just trade off. Yeah, everyone trades. Since 2006, I think. It's crazy. Haven't had a back-to-back championship. So the Cowboys can't win the NFC East this year. They can't. Take them off your list. Take them off your list. Not going to happen. Not going to happen. Yeah. And the Commanders are going to rise up, and we're going to dominate them. It's going to be great, and nothing's ever going to hurt again. Yeah. Yeah.

Baseball news. So what was the clip that you just showed? The Colorado Rockies since 2004. It's the last time the NFC East had back-to-back champions.

This was a very funny clip because it was the Red Sox Rockies, and the relief pitcher yelled at the batter, you jerked off in a parking lot. Who was the batter? I don't know, but I looked up, and he did, in fact, jerk off in a parking lot. Was it Kellen Winslow? It's one of those ones that you just hope never becomes a viral clip because I didn't know who that guy was, and then I looked it up, and I was like, oh, he did jerk off in a parking lot. That's...

That's got to suck going to the ballpark every day being like, someone might say I jerked off in a parking lot and they wouldn't be wrong. And it probably didn't happen that much until this pitcher said it and it was clearly caught on camera. By the way, shout out to whoever did the lip reading for it. Yes. Because you did America a wonderful service. Now every fan is going to know that's the guy that jerked off in a parking lot. I did not know until that moment. Is it Reese McGuire? Yes. Yeah, Reese McGuire. Yeah.

He jerked off in a parking lot. Confirmed by this pitcher. I think it was, who was the pitcher who yelled it? It was Quintrell? Yeah, Cal Quantrill. There we go, Huey. I love how you said that. Yeah, I do too. I also, yeah, Reese McGuire. He jerked off in a parking lot. That's interesting. The other baseball thing I want to talk about real quick, and this is, we don't have, memes is a Mets fan, but the Yankees.

I saw our good friend Tommy Smokes this morning, and I've known Tommy now for seven years. And I think for every single moment of those seven years, I've seen him tweet,

This is the game that Brian Cashman and Aaron Boone are getting fired. Yet the Yankees will never fire either of those guys. And Aaron Boone even said after getting killed by the Mets, I think he got swept by the Mets this season. He said, one of the things I really liked tonight was how hooked up we were in the dugout in the eighth and ninth inning. I'm not worried about the compete level with these guys. This is talking about a game where they lost like 12 to three, I believe.

So, I don't know what it is with the Yankees, but these guys stink and they... I'm talking about Aaron Boone and Brian Cashman, and they're never getting rid of him. As a two-week Yankee fan, I think... What was the two-week Yankee fan thing, by the way? Explain that. I was sold on the...

The high class and the history. The pinstripes? The pinstripes. The Derek Jeters of the world. When was the two weeks? The first two weeks of the season. Okay. They were hot coming out the gate. They looked good. And then I stopped, Karen. Yeah. And then they started to kind of...

took us up a couple slumps and bumps. But at the end of the day, I think Cashman and Boone, you know, they're going to always be on the hot seat. And at the end of the day, the team's, you know, it's not even that horrible. We have a two-week year. I generally think they're going to be all right. You said once you stopped caring about them, then they went to a slump. You have to start caring about them again.

This is what I have to do for that team to be great. I'll walk for them to run. I like how Brian Cashman, how they got off to a hot start. You're right. But his strategy is basically sign the best players and pay them the most money. Yeah. Which isn't really the mark of a good general manager. Just a general manager that's got a rich dad. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. So, Hugh, you are a football and a basketball guy. You're not really a baseball guy. Just this season, you were like, I'm going to give this Yankee thing a shot. Yeah, like...

I was watching the playoffs last year, and I got kind of sold on baseball. Oh, you were not sold on baseball until last year? Yeah, it took last season to kind of be like, oh, this thing could move faster. Okay, what about the Yankees in the postseason sold you on the Yankees? Not last year, but it was the potential. I'm like, well, look at what this team is in the regular season. Imagine if they're good, and it matters when they're playing. How much baseball had you watched the previous 25 years of your life?

Four months, maybe. Four months? Like a game here, a game there. Wait, it's very specific. Wait, four months, cumulative four months? Yeah, like if I had to... That's a lot of games. But that's not like 24-7. That's just like a day here, day there. A game here, a game there. Okay. And then two-week Yankee fan. And then two weeks, I was watching every game for two weeks. Yeah.

And you just stopped? No, I watched every single game. And then you just stopped? And then I was like, what am I doing? Okay. Two-week Yankee fan. Yeah, the Yankees. I know that their fans are really, really pissed off, but I think that there's a solution to this. I think that you have to give Aaron Boone an extension and show that you believe in him. Yeah. And then the rest of the clubhouse is going to truly believe in him, too. Then you'll be fine. You might have a lame duck otherwise.

Yeah, exactly. He kind of is a lame duck, right? I think he's got a club option for next year. So you got to do it. So you got to do it. Extend Aaron Boone.

I got a question for you. The Olympics started. How are we doing in rugby? So right now we're waiting for the quarterfinals. We made it to the knockout stage in the U S is playing Australia. Uh, we won Australia. Good. Yeah. They're very good. They're probably going to win. We won a game, lost a game, tied a game. Oh, that's perfect for us. Yeah. And we finished, I believe second in our group, which means that we kind of won. So we moved on to the knockout stage. Uh, I think, I don't know. I think, uh,

I don't want to make any predictions because we're watching the games right now, but I like both Fiji and Ireland. Whoever wins this game, I think, is going to win it. Oh. Yeah. Okay. But it's been awesome to watch. The whole office has been watching Sevens, and I wish that it had more of a primetime spot. I wish that it wasn't- I wish it was happening during the Olympics. I wish it wasn't the appetizer for the Olympics. Right. Like, this deserves. Get this in like a Friday night, Saturday night. Right. I don't understand. Yeah.

Oh, by the way, you got the Nationals got no hit today. Yeah, we did. And you know what? Think about me. Guy like me. When we get no hit, I say that we got no hit. Yeah, we got no hit by one guy. One guy threw it. Yeah, but they won't know. But they got no hit. We got no hit. Remember what happened about me? What happened in yours? Did you get any hits?

Exactly. Down boy. That's basically, we just took out the newspaper and we just kind of held it over the dog's snout and he's just like, all right, I'm going to lay down. That's what we call accountability, Max. That's as close as you'll get to Max admitting it, by the way. He's just slinking back. Yeah, he shrunk. We've had this argument for two years now and he just didn't see the, well, did you guys get a hit question coming? Never saw that part coming.

It was Dylan Cease. Yeah, Dylan Cease. Fantastic. Yeah, baseball. I tried to give. I was basically like, all-star break's a nice reset. The Cubs have been bad. And I was like, I'm going to give my all for this next week to see if the Cubs can maybe win a few games and get back in this. I went on Monday night.

They're so bad, their foul balls are bad. They don't even hit foul balls well. Like not good contact? Is that what you mean? Correct. They suck at hitting the baseball. Very important part of baseball. That's probably the most important part. Yeah. Well, no, they're really good at pitching the baseball. They're just really bad at hitting the baseball. Hitting the baseball is important, especially when you pitch the baseball well. All you need to do is hit the baseball a little bit, and they can't even do that. Ideally, you'd like to combine the two.

Yeah. It's also so boring. It's boring. That's the thing. Watching the Cubs play is so boring. They don't have anything. I've said it a million times. When we talked about with Aaron Rodgers. What? The Cubs or the Bears. No, no, no. They've grown up into the Bears. No, they won in 2016. No, I'm saying their style of play. Oh, right now, yeah. Their style of play. But they have not historically. I mean,

Yeah, they're not good historically, but they did win in the last decade. When we were talking to Aaron Rodgers about how often guys think about the Roman Empire and how that whole meme started and everyone's like, ask your boyfriend how often he thinks about the Roman Empire.

For me, it's how often I think about Kyle Schwarber still being on the Cubs. Yeah. That's an almost daily occurrence for me in my brain. He's such a joy to root for. If you're going to have a team that, even if it's not that good, having Schwarber on the team is just so much fun. Just one. Having a big boy that steps up to the plate and mashes. One bat that would make the other pitcher not be like, oh, I'm fine. This is an easy out. That'd be so sick to root for him. Shut up. He also wouldn't tolerate other guys not hitting the ball well.

Right. You'd just be like, dude, just do what I do. Just mash. Just spank a ball. Yeah, he'd be pissed off. The Cubs in the last, let's see, in the last six games, two runs, zero runs, two runs, three runs, zero runs, two runs. That's bad. That's really bad. It's boring baseball. And they don't give up runs, so it's like every loss is a 3-2 loss or a 2-1 loss.

It's brutal. It's kind of the same in every sport where if your team's going to be bad or mediocre, you'd rather it be the opposite where they're great on offense and defense stinks. Play softball games. Yeah, just because you can have fun watching the game. Correct. There's a lot going on. Correct. I saw a stat the other day. This is back to football real quick. I think the Dan Lebitard show pointed this out, but I wanted to make memes aware of it.

Memes, do you know that the Indianapolis Colts have more AFC titles than the New York Jets do? Wow. Yeah, that was going around this season. Yeah, AFC. Memes, I stand with you. Don't let them do shame statistics.

No, shame statistics are the lamest thing you can do. I thought you guys saw it earlier in the year. We're not bringing up, but I would never bring that up. Memes. I fucking live. All I have to deal with every single day is insult stats. Yeah, we got to stick together. Yeah. Insult stats are not cool. We just got to turn the insult stats on the Patriots. See something. Say something. If you see someone using an insult stat, insult them back.

I kind of like using them on the Patriots, though. You can use them on the Chiefs, Patriots, any team that's won more than two Super Bowls in the last 20 years. Yeah, well, because then they have something to defend. Yeah. Like, I don't have when people, the insults. We're about to get to the time of year where the Bears not having a 3,000-yard passer or what? 4,000? I can't remember. 4,000. 4,000. 30 touchdowns, 4,000.

That's going to start going everywhere. Yeah. And so insult stats suck. Yeah, they're back. They're not nice. All right, before we do Mount Rushmore, and Hank is involved in this, I wanted to do one thing. PFD, I told you this. I was going to save this for you. I got to talking to Huey the other day, and our boy Huey is working on a script, okay? And I want you to hear the script because I think we need to make the pilot for this. Okay. Okay, so Huey, the floor is yours.

How long have you been working on this script? Technically speaking, about six months. Okay, and how many pages do we have? One. Okay. Okay, when you say technically, what does that mean? I started it six months ago. Okay. And I did one page. Okay. That day. Oh, okay.

Oh, so it was all in one day. Yeah, I've gone back and edited. They can kind of, you know, edit some lines, take, edit some subscriptions and stuff. But that page. And it's some subscriptions. Descriptions. Yeah. You're a perfectionist. It sounds like. Yeah. Wanted to be realistic. Wanted to make you be able to believe that you're in the story. Okay. So what was the inspiration for the script? Um,

Yeah. Okay. So go ahead. Tell them what the pitch is. All right. So the show's called High Up in the Mountains. It's about two brothers. One looks very similar to me. The inspiration behind the other one is by a rapper by the name of Shakewell, who looks very similar to Max Delente. Oh. Okay.

Shake well like a milkshake? Like something that you'd see on a Slim Fast? Yeah. He's a big, goofy guy. Got it. So it's about two brothers, one named Carmelo, the other Anthony. And they were born two days before he got traded to the Knicks. Okay. And so that's why their dad, not the best of guys, grew up to resent them.

You know, because they live in Denver. Yeah, they live in Denver. Now he's got to be reminded of, you know, his two shit-stained kids, you know, Carmelo and Anthony. And then, long story short, life goes on. Dad starts to meet another woman. They have a kid. That kid. Guess what he names that kid? Tebow. Nicola.

Oh. So now there's not enough room for Carmelo and Anthony. So they're getting kicked out. So now the story is these two shit brains kind of having to figure out life on their own high up in the mountains named Carmelo and Anthony. I'm in. Yeah. I'm 100% in. We got to make it. I did point out when I heard this that the years between Carmelo and Anthony getting traded from the Nuggets to the Knicks and Jokic getting drafted by the Nuggets is significant.

So the timeline doesn't add up. So, no, well, it's just that's more room for the script. Well, Jokic was drafted in 14, and then you've got to think, you know, you add another six, seven years before he starts to, like, really start to be in the final conversation and MVP, and it takes a couple six years. So by then—

You know, they're pushing 18. Okay. So, you know, it's right on that par right there. So, and then Carmelo and Anthony resent their baby brother. Yeah, because fucking Nicole. So do they move to New York? Well, I haven't gotten that for you. Oh, yeah. I'm open to anything. This is actually a lot of script for just one page. Wait, what do you mean you haven't gotten that far yet? Because they already... In where you've gotten to, Carmelo's already retired. Yeah, no, I mean, like... No, I mean...

In theory. Yeah. I haven't written all of this. Right. You've only written one page. The theory, the direction is this. Right. This is where we're going. The end of the episode is going to, by the end of the episode, we're going to have all this laid out and we're going to have kind of the path of. Is this all happening in the first episode?

Not all of it, but again, the pilot's going to really have to lay down a lot of what these guys are, their story, and then them getting kicked out, and then that kind of where that ends. And then we'll pick up episode two kind of. So it's a TV show, so you have like a season. Yeah, yeah. As many episodes as it needs. No question. Yeah. Is there a time jump in the first episode? Yeah, there has to be.

Well, no. Yeah, the first little, like, 30 seconds is like, you know, them as babies, you know, and then it's Carmelo and Anthony, and then bang, you know, two days later, Carmelo gets traded, and then it's like, all right, and then it just, quick time jump, it

He cuts to these kids, you know, smoking weed in the car. Oh, so there is a time jump. Yeah, but for like, again, 20 seconds. It's the first like 20, like you just get introduced to babies. We're in present day. And then boom. Yeah. Now we're in present day. Yeah. These kids are present day. Yes. Yes. All right. I got a question. I don't want to completely poo poo your script here because I think that maybe we should make it.

When Carmelo was traded to the New York Knicks, did the father think about just changing their name? No. No, no, no, no. He signed the birth certificate a couple days earlier. So officially, you know... And again, the dad... What we're going to find out from father is he's not the brightest. Okay? Okay. And at the end of the day, it's more about the reminder of what he did wrong. And he kind of blames himself. Okay. So when he named the new baby Nicola...

Did he do that right when Jokic got drafted? He did that kind of late 2019. As he started to emerge. It was like, this is the guy. He wasn't going to make the same mistake again. He wanted to commit, make sure he was committed full time. This was going to be the guy. So we're going to have to find a four-year-old actor for Nicola. Correct. Got it. Just wanted to make sure that that's the path we were going. A four-year-old for Nicola. Hot mom. Shit head dad. Yep.

And then two guys that look like you and me. It's going to be a hard one. We've got to figure out how we're going to find two guys that look just like me and you. Okay. Okay. Yeah, so I think we need to make this pilot. Every sitcom needs just a wacky neighbor, too. Okay. Put the wacky neighbor in there. Yeah. There's a lot of wacky people in this office. Bosco, please. Wacky neighbor. Yeah, wacky neighbor is named J.R.? J.R. Smith? Yeah. Yeah.

Birdman? Birdman? Birdman would be a good one. Oh, Birdman would be good. JaVale? I was just thinking, what would an enemy be to a nugget? Kobe? Sauce? Kobe. Yeah. Kobe could live next door. Yeah. Well, he shouldn't be in Colorado.

Okay, we'll figure it out. All right. Yeah, so I wanted you to hear that. We will make a pilot. We will make a sizzle reel. I don't know if we have enough for more than like 45 seconds. It might just be 45 seconds of time jumps. Maybe a short film. Yeah, make the entire show out of the montage. Let's just time jump the entire show. Like how so? Like every minute, it's like we don't know where we are in time. Okay. Okay.

And also it should have a lot of NBA highlights in it. Yes. Like of Carmelo Anthony and then of Nicole Jokic. It should actually be mostly highlights. Should it be like each year of their life? Yeah. Each time jump? So then it's just like another year of like Carmelo, you know, doing something great in New York and their dad turning into them. These fucking kids, you know. And then next year it's like, oh, Carmelo Anthony, 2013 Knicks. You know, we got something. Yeah. And he's just reminded of his kids. Yeah. Maybe it's something like that. And they could have like a little robot sidekick.

Named AI It's got braids like Allen Iverson Yeah I like this Cause who doesn't want to watch a sitcom About like the Mid 2000s

Tens Nuggets Denver, Colorado Yeah Great time and place Can you tell me how you came up with this idea? Because you're not a Nuggets fan No, so my theory is Your theory of how you came up with this idea It all comes together I think that like

The best shows ever, ever, are like, you know, like Simpsons, Family Guy, Office, Friends, Normal People. Normal People, Normal Environments, Normal Places. So, two kind of shit-stained... Simpsons and Family Guy are cartoons. Yeah, but they're family-related. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Um...

There's a talking dog in Family Guy. We're not looking at the specifics. And a talking baby. Family Guy is a bad example. The specifics aren't what matters. It's about the fact that it's family. Regular people that we can all relate to. Yeah, we can relate to these. Maybe you're not a stoner, but you've seen these two. You've seen those types of kids around. And now instead of it being like a sad existence. I'm so confused. You know.

What types of kids? You know, stoners. Oh, Carmelo and Anthony. I was still looking at the family guy. No, sorry. I'm moving on. Yeah. But,

But, you know, the backstory of that's usually kind of sadder. And, you know, it's like a little bit more like, yeah, but this is kind of funny. You know, it's just Carmelo and it's Anthony. You know, the resentment doesn't come from like, you know, a fucking divorce or something. Right. From, you know, you're naming your kids Carmelo and Anthony. Yeah. And then you're dumb enough to not like try to change it. Yeah. It's just. Yeah. It's the.

Look, I don't think this answered the question. It's really a story about life. Yeah, I don't know how. I was trying to figure out how you decided that the Denver Nuggets would be like the perfect. I just needed a name that had two first names. Okay, that's the answer. I knew that was going to be it. That's the answer. That would all make sense. Yeah, and we'd legal in Colorado. Two for two, and I went with it. Got it. So you kind of started with.

Just anyone who's got two first names and we'll just figure out the rest. We'll figure out the story. Got it. Okay. I like it. I'm in. Thank you. Yeah. I knew you would be. I think this sounds lucrative. Yeah. By the way, do you understand the new NBA deal? It's on every channel now? So they extended with ESPN Disney, right? Yeah. And then Peacock and NBC. This is what the leagues are doing. Amazon. I heard that Amazon's getting, this might be rumor, $1,000.

Amazon's going to get one of the conference finals every two years on Amazon Prime? This is what the leagues are doing. They're chopping it up, and they're cutting it, and they're selling a bunch of NBA to us that we have to buy individually. Yeah. So I want to know, if you were to be able to watch every NBA game and every NFL game, how much per year does that cost you?

To be a sports fan. Right. I feel like that's the real inflation in the United States right now. It's becoming expensive to be a sports fan. They're pricing a lot of people out of watching sports. Yeah. And that shouldn't be right. Yeah. And we should do something about it. And we won't. We won't. We'll just pay for all the stuff they make us pay for. But I'd like the record to show that I'm upset about it. Yeah. Yeah, I'd like the record to show that I'm mad.

Mad. We're mad. I'm mad as hell and I'm going to keep taking it. Yep. Not going to do a thing. Yep. I can do a goddamn thing. Okay. Let's get to our Mount Rushmore. Let's do our Mount Rushmore that we have Jason Worth and Xander Shoffley. Mount Rushmore is brought to you by our friends at game time. Did you know that you can get tickets to the Cubs Cardinals next week?

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Mount Rushmore of round things. Hank, you kind of groaned when we came up with this idea. Are you not into round things? What are you talking about? I mean, that just didn't happen. That was cap. That was cap. Do you like this Mount Rushmore? I do. I'd like to hear you say it. You like it? Yeah. You like it? I like the open-ended one. Okay. I love it.

All right. Round things are actually enclosed. They're very much enclosed, so this might be a struggle for you. All right, so I have first pick. I have first pick. There's so many good picks. There's a lot of good round things. There's so many good round things. I'm going to try to keep it just basic, simple, run the ball, Mount Rushmore round things.

A pizza. That's a good pick. Pizza. That was my one one. It's a beautiful round thing. You see your big full pizza. There's just nothing better. Yeah. Good choice. That was my one one as well. I thought I would get it for sure because I assumed you were going to take donuts. Yeah. That was also on there, but I was like, pizza is just, listen, I love donuts. I love donuts, but if it's pizza or donuts for the rest of your life, you'd have to take pizza.

Yeah, I would agree with that. Like, I'm just being honest. Like, I love donuts, but you can't eat donuts every single day. You could eat pizza almost every day. Burrito actually could eat more. I don't know if you'd be able to eat a pizza every day. That would get old real fast. Also, what if you took one bite? No, old people get sick of that. You would never eat.

pizzas are round I'm not I'm not objecting oh it sounds like you're objecting but you don't eat like a donut you eat as a as a circle you don't eat a pizza as a circle what about what about a you eat from the inside of the circle out what about you eat slices what about the long ones the long skinny ones what about what about in Ninja Turtles the video game when you just run over pie and just are those jump in your mouth those aren't those are those I think those have a different type of no like different long john what are they called I think the long johns

No. Pizza is round. Final. Pizza is round. I know. What about a bear claw? What about a fritter? Those are different names. Yeah, that's true. You got me there. They're at a donut store. They are at a donut store. Something to think about. Okay. Donuts are more pure round. Wow. So we're going to do pure roundness? I mean, okay. Yeah, we're doing skull measurements now, I think. Okay. All right. Let's hope you don't pick anything that's not fully round.

Let's hope. Let's hope. Let's hope. Okay. Max. I'll be taking boobs. Oh, you dick. Good one. I thought that was an easy one. Hank, would you like to say anything about boobs not being fully round? They're not. And Hank is smoking. Right? Yeah. No, they are. They're curved. They're round. It's a round piece of meat. Is it curved? Yeah. All right. Yeah. Good pick. Yeah. Good pick. Great pick. Okay. All right. I'm going to go with...

Pie. Pie is round. Do you want to object to that, Hank? No, I like that pick. Okay. All right. Love pie. I'm more of a pie guy than I'm a cake guy. Yeah. Pie clears cake all day. Birthday cake, pretty decent. Pie, vastly superior. Yeah. You don't think pie clears cake?

I think I've had more cake than pie in my life. That's not the question, sir. So, yeah, I would say that. No, that's because one is served more. Doesn't mean it's better. You get force fed cake at birthdays. I would prefer birthday pies. Ice cream is better than cake. Why don't they just do ice cream at every birthday? They do. They do both. No, they do. They do cake way more than ice cream at a birthday.

But you've had more ice cream than cake because it's better. I've definitely had way more ice cream than cake. Yeah, easily. I probably have had a lot of pie. But that's because I select the ice cream myself. I go out of my way to purchase ice cream. I don't get ice cream foisted upon me like people do with cake sometimes. Correct. I don't want to talk shit about cake because I do enjoy cake. But pie is way better. Okay, pie, number one. And then back to me, The Wheel.

Good pick. The wheel. Add it on there. Maybe the best invention of all time. Add it on there. That and red zone. Add it on there. You complain about that, Hank? Nope. Okay. Good. Nice. I'm going to take a basketball. Yep. Okay. Good pick. Shit. Man. I'm getting foisted. I'm going to take...

Earth? Yeah. Good choice. Good pick. Is this terrible Mount Rushmore? Might be. Might be. Might be. The Earth's not round, Hank. Yeah, might be. Ask your boy Kyrie. It's way more round than boobs. Oh! You just went out of order. You're right. Wait. What were you going to say? He didn't go out of order. No, he's fine. You're good. You're good. Go. What's your pick? The other one. You have two. No. I should have stopped you. Fuck. Fuck.

What's the punishment if you go out? There should be a... No, you can just take... The other person can take it. Yeah, true. There's a lot of good ones, but I don't really know. Am I just going to go all food? I mean, some of the best round things are food. It is a lot of... There's a lot of food out there. Okay. Okay. I'm going to go with... Yeah, I'm going to go with a cookie. Cookie. Beautiful round thing. Love a chocolate chip cookie. And then I will go...

People are going to be confused because they're going to think that our Mount Rushmore's are not the blind Mount Rushmore's. I'm going to go with the golf ball. Great ball. Okay. Decent ball. That's a great ball. They're going to think I was you and you were me. Especially when I take my next pick. Oh, no. The sphere. Oh, shit. This is going to be very confusing. I'm going to lose because people vote against Hank. Damn, Big Cat. You're really stinking this Mount Rushmore season. I'm sucking right now.

And Hank's reaping all the benefits. That's wild. I mean, we never know until the votes get counted. Kind of a fraudulent pick by you because you've never been. Also, wait, is this fear? Yeah, because we gave the earth. Yeah. But it's also not fully round. You just picked golf ball. The floor. The boobs, the chest. Well, you opened this Pandora's box when you went at pizza. We allowed. No, I didn't. I said I'm not objecting. Boobs are round. You did. You opened it. But there's a floor to them.

boobs around they're right they're round in the part that Hank you can't see the flat part though the flat part is connected that's the same with the sphere so the part that you see yeah no I think both play yeah I'm I'm fucked I'm fucked with this one because he's people are just gonna look at it blind and just be like donut sphere yeah no you may actually be good because people some people have been wanting to give Hank okay pity pity vote maybe I'll get that maybe I'll get that

I'm going to go with a baseball. Oh, shit. You took mine. Baseball is a good pick. Okay. Now you got two. So now I got two. I'm going to go with the sun because there would be no earth without the sun. Yeah. And all of us would be dead. That's fine. It's just what? It's just gas. Yeah, but gas isn't like the cool way to say it. Round gas? Round gas. That shit's gas as fuck. Round gas. Yeah, big round gas. And then... I mean, the sun is... What? It's gas. It's gas.

It's burning gas. It's a burning ball. I'm going to be honest with you guys right now. The moon is round. Scientifically speaking, I'm going to take myself out of this because I don't know what it is. The sun is round. I just assumed the sun was fire. Wait, are you like extra woke and you think that the sun is flat? Is the sun lava? It's gas. It's plasma. It's actually plasma if you look it up. Okay. I'm in over my head. I never thought I'd be stepping away from a hank.

yeah but i am hey hank's looking up he knows more about the sun than me what is the sun is the sun round yes the sun is not a perfect spear a perfect what you should get a that should be illegal now that you got that pick okay so for my last one i'm gonna go with um sun doesn't have a solid surface shut the fuck up neither does the earth ever heard of water we're on a solid surface well yeah partially

Shut the fuck up, Hank. All right, my last one. I'm going to take bagels. Bagels. Love bagels. Bagel sandwiches. Bagels for breakfast. I was just going too many foods. Yeah, bagel, baby. Okay. Bagel boss. Me? Yeah. I've taken it in my fourth pick like 10 times. I'm going to go meatball. Yes. Meatball. Meatball. Meatball again. Max just hits the meatball button. Hank?

Oh, he's really thinking. This is about to be a reach. Bullseye. Okay. Bullseye. Be careful. Don't let snot contribute to the toxic climate. What the fuck does that mean? Bullseye. Were you trying to say dartboard?

You're just saying bullseye. Target logo. Got it. You're sticking with bullseye. Yeah, bullseye. Bullseye. So you're talking about the center of a dartboard. Yeah, that's a great round thing. Okay. You get a bullseye. Yeah, it's a bad pick, whatever. Okay. Pick out. Man. I don't know what to do here. I got so many food options, and then I got one. Hubie, should I go crazy or a little bit outside or stick with the food?

You need to risk it for the biscuit now. Okay. You want to go biscuit? Is that what you're saying? Biscuit's a great pick. Yeah. All right. Super Bowl ring. How is that not round? Kind of. It's a ring. The ring part is round. Right. I mean, everything we've... It's round. It's round. But everything else we've said has had parts that the sphere...

Yeah, but the part that makes it a Super Bowl ring is not round. But it's a ring. It's round. It's what's built into the ring. A ring is round. All right, fine. I'm going to allow it. No, no, I'm going to allow it. That has to be allowed. I'm going to allow it, but we're going to debate it. Okay. It has to be allowed, Max. Well, with everything that we've said, we haven't said anything's not allowed.

Like a ring is a ring is round. A ring is round. It's a Super Bowl ring. It is round. Yeah, there's stuff on top, but it's round. You put your finger in the round part. It's a Super Bowl ring. Memes. Also, there's a lot of Super Bowl rings that were fully round until recently. Max. That's true. Like the old school Super Bowl rings were literally just rings. Yeah. Like a little diamond on top. Super Bowl ring rocks. What do we miss?

A lot. We did miss a lot. All right, so here were the food options I was thinking about. Butthole. No. Butt cheeks. Butt cheeks. Butts. Butts around. Is a vagina round? Like, I'm talking about the actual... I don't think so. You know. The hole? No, the, like, yeah. The pee hole? The part that you go in. Yeah. Not talking about the labia majora. I don't know. I've never seen one. Waffles. Tortillas.

Reese's peanut butter cups. Pancakes. Pancakes. M&M's. Yep. Onion rings.

I had Round Here, Counting Crows song. That song rocks. Okay. I was just thinking of Round, and I got it in my head, and I was like, oh, I put it on my list. Lifesavers. Yep. The thing and the candy. Pie charts. Pie charts. I hate pie charts. I like pie charts. No, give me a graph, like the bar graph. No, see, because then you've got to read the X and the Y. I like the pie chart. I just look at it, and I'm just like, okay, got it. What about A Tin of Dip? Yep. Or Lucy? Lucy. Lucy.

Manhole cover Classic round thing Those are cool to look at Gongs Records The wheel of fortune wheel Pretty cool Sushi Sushi's round Toilet paper roll

Yeah, but not a fan. You kind of need it. I got really into the bidet situation. Burgers. Burgers. There you go, Hubie. Oreos. Oh, this one's going to be triggering for Max, so maybe take off your headphones. Ping pong balls. Ping pong balls around. Ping pong balls around. Yeah. And they're great. Tennis balls, I think, are more versatile than a...

A baseball or a golf ball. Yeah, if I could have taken anything back, I'd probably go the bouncy ball. The classic bouncy ball. Yeah. That's my favorite ball. If you're left alone with it... If you had the option to be left alone with a tennis ball, a golf ball, or a baseball... Yeah, it's tennis ball all day. All day. Yeah. Yeah, throw it against the wall. Bounce it off the ground. Throw it up to yourself. Baseball would be cool because you could work on your grips. Yeah. A bowl...

A bowl? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, a bowl. Yeah, a bowl is a bowl for a second. A bowl is round. Yeah. And also, like, I was thinking about it. Do you ever... There's nothing really that you have a bad bowl of.

You know what I mean? When you're getting a bowl out, you're getting just good. It's like soup, ice cream. Cereal. Cereal. It's just great things. Yeah, I agree. Popcorn. A bowl delivers great things. It does. A plate, you could have a bad meal, but a bowl is fucking great. Basketball hoop. Basketball ring. Sorry. Yeah. I did have dartboard on. I think it took bullseye. What about an aura? Yeah.

Can I get dartboard? I feel like or is around. No. The O button, the spin button. Yeah, spin button's good. The number 100 is a round number, right? Yeah. It's a great number. Just the letter O. Yeah, the letter O. Letter O is good. Letter O. Nobody took circle. Can I get dartboard bullseye? No. You said bullseye.

Ferris wheel Ferris wheel Very cool I like those You said bullseye I even said dartboard and you said bullseye No bullseye Whatever I'm giving you your pick You said bullseye and you said no just bullseye Bullseye like you said dartboard I said bullseye You clarified and said just bullseye You got Kentucky Derby winning racehorse Yeah that's an animal

It could have just been racehorse. But I specified as I made the pick, Kentucky Derby winning racehorse. You, on the other hand, said bullseye. Then we asked you numerous follow-up questions about the bullseye. And then you said just the bullseye. I don't think I said just the bullseye. I just said bullseye. I think he did. Because they did give you the option to. I said dartboard almost immediately. We gave you a lifeboat.

Right away My bad No it's good dude You're doing fine sweetie Thanks What about just an eye A human eye Oh Eyes are great Yeah Eyes are great A tire I know we have wheel But tires Yeah Are cool Blueberries Nectarines Yep Peaches Yeah A lot of good fruits Grapes What kind of grapes you guys like?

Purple. Yeah, same. I like the green ones. I like purple, and then if I had to pick second, it's the cotton candy ones. Cotton candy's good. Those ones are so good. Those ones freak me out. They're too sweet almost. Why do they taste like cotton candy? Yeah, they're weird. Cherries. Testicles. Testicles. I thought about testicles. Yeah, but balls, it's not tough to put up there. Yeah, it's not.

A racetrack? Yeah, a racetrack. That's round. Yeah, it goes round. Right? Medicine. Ferris wheel? I said Ferris wheel just now, yeah. It's okay. I'm dumb. No, no, that's fine. We're moving fast. We also had Hank kind of derail us with the bullseye thing. UFOs. Flying saucers. A lighthouse if you're from bird's eye view? Yeah, looking down. It actually kind of looks like a bullseye. Yeah. How did this happen, Hank? The Barstool Sports logo. Also round. Yeah. Yeah.

All right. Okay, that was a good Mount Rushmore. I feel good about it. Everyone feel good? I feel good. I think Hank felt good until Bullseye. Yeah, that's fair. But they're going to vote. They're going to think that you're me and I'm you. What are your picks? Sphere, Donut, Bullseye? What was the other one?

And I have golf ball, pizza. Earth. You have a good pick. That's a good Mount Rushmore. You got pretty much everything. Listen, not every... Everyone critiques every Mount Rushmore. Sometimes you got to take shots. You just say things. Yeah. Who cares? Who cares? The whole point is to just have fun with the boys. I'm having a great time. After Max's first pick, if I had picked nipples, would that have counted? No. That's like pepperonis. Oh, pepperonis is a great pick.

I didn't want to go so hard food.

Yeah, I think nipples would have not counted just because they are part of the boob. They're the most important part of the boob. They're the part of the boob. But it's the best part of the boob. Right, if you don't have a nipple, you have no boob. Memes wanted me to just take synonyms of boobs, so I was going to go melons, pepperonis. Oh, you should have. Memes. You horny, horny. Front porches. Okay, good Mount Rushmore, boys. Good job. Before we get to our interview with Jason Wirth...

I want to tell you about a great new movie on Apple. The instigators is a hilarious Apple original film starring Matt Damon and Casey Affleck. Those are two big names about two amateur criminals who are in way over their heads. I saw the preview for this. It looks awesome from the director of Mr. And Ms. Smith and the Bourne identity and,

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Go check it out now, Apple TV+. I'm going to watch this. I know you're going to watch this, PFT. Oh, yeah. We should try to get Matt Damon and Casey Affleck on sometime. That would be a dream pairing. You mean at the same time? At the same time. So we should try to do it. Stream the new film August 9th only on Apple TV+, The Instigators, rated R. And here's Jason Wirth. Ooh.

Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. It is 15-year MLB pro, Jason Wirth, also horse owner.

Jason, thank you for coming in studio. My pleasure. Great to see you. You got the American Century Championship hat on. Yeah. Golfer. Still flying the hat there. Yeah. So let's start with... Actually, I don't know where you want to start. We want to start horse owning? Yeah. All your businesses that you got going on? Wherever you want to start. I'm just happy to be here. I finally made it. Actually, I'll start here. Jason...

Jason Wirth, the connection that we have is we just had David Wells on a couple weeks ago and Jason Wirth's first

MLB hit was against David Wells. How pumped were you for your first MLB hit? Also, how long did it take? Because I always wonder, like guys who take a while, does it really fuck you up? Yeah, so it's a good story. So I was a catcher all like growing up and up until AAA. And then I was with Toronto. They finally were like tired of watching it. So they moved me to the outfield. And I played left in AAA the whole year. Played like 10 games in center.

And I get to the September 1st, we get called up. We're playing the Yankees in the Sky Dome or Rogers Center, whatever they call it now. And I go in the clubhouse. I look at the lineup and I'm like, well, shit, you know, nine, batting ninth, worth nine. And I'm like...

the fuck's nine? I'm like, oh shit, I'm playing right field. I've never even seen a nine by my name before. So I was like, okay. So, you know, you don't ever play in stadiums with five decks. You don't ever play in domes, you know, when you're a kid growing up, you know, minor leagues, whatever. So my first game is playing right field at Rogers Center. They like, we're out there playing catch, running sprints before the game and they open the dome. And so I'm like, this is fucked. You know, I'm like,

And of course, first pitch of the game, Alfonso Soriano hits the highest fly ball that I ever caught in my career. First pitch in the big league. But you caught it. But I caught it, barely. And then my first at-bat,

Off Boomer, I hit a bullet down the third baseline, and Ron Coomer was playing third that day, and he picked it up, and I think he threw it between his legs to second for a double play. I didn't really get doubled up much in my career, especially when I was younger, because I could move a little bit. And first at bat in the big leagues is like,

like a piss missile double play i'm still in the stand in the box i'm like they're doing like harlem globetrotters shit yeah exactly like i'll never get a hit so i ended up getting a getting a hit in the game we won um i think i had two hits maybe that was a long time ago but um that's really not the the boomer wells story that yeah that um i was mentioning so uh a couple years later i'm with the dodgers and i hit a homer off them and uh

And after the game, he texts Jeff Weaver, who's a teammate with LA, and he says, what's up with that Worth kid? He's like, oh, dude, you love him. And so he comes over and he's like, all right, he tells Weave, he's like, tell Worth to meet me at this address. And so Dream, he comes over and he's like, hey, Boomer wants you to meet him at this address. And I'm like...

I'm like, I'm a kid. I'm like, well, is this like a Hells Angels party? Yeah, you're going to get killed? Yeah. I'm like, what's going on? He's like, no, it's cool. So I go, I meet him. Best time ever. Just the coolest dude. He had a couple friends there. We just hung out and boozed it up one night in LA. I was still a rookie at the time, so it was my first experience playing.

with uh with david wells and i've been friends with him ever since and like saw him american century i don't know if you saw the picture or whatever yeah uh just the greatest guy i mean i've ran into him and we've hung out like you know 50 times probably i go to his i go to his uh charity golf event he's like one of my better friends in baseball that i didn't actually play with yeah you know so he's he's the man that's a that's a scary proposition to hit a home run off him and then have him be like meet me here yeah well i was like what the fuck

You're getting set up. It's like that scene in Goodfellas. Yeah, I was legit scared. Yeah, I wonder how many other guys that he's given up the first hit to, and then he texts them afterwards. He's like, I have to be best friends with you. Yeah. He seems like a baseball historian, so I imagine it's probably a handful of guys. Yeah, I don't know. He's a cool-ass dude, though. Yeah, so wait, wait. I have a question about the catcher to outfield thing.

That's – I mean, you thought you were going to be a catcher your whole life. At what point were you like, this is probably not going to work out and I have to go play in the outfield? And how long did it take to, like, actually learn outfield? So, AA was 01 with – first year with –

uh the blue jays and they they started playing me at some different positions dh and we had josh phelps was there uh kevin cash guillermo quiros there's like a backlog of catchers with the blue jays um and i had a big year uh in double a that year it's like my kind of my breakout minor league season hit like 20 homers and the next year in spring training was been oh two um

And Dick Scott was the farm director, and he came in and wanted to have a conversation with me. He sits me down. He's like, how would you feel about moving to... And before he could even tell me where, I was like, yes. Oh, okay. Yes. Like, wherever you're talking about... You were done catching. I mean, I was not a very good first baseman, but I would have done that all day long instead of catching. But it feels like... Catching fucking sucks. Yeah, but the only thing with catching is it probably sucks beyond belief, but...

you don't – like if you hit 20 home runs as a catcher, you're one of the best catchers. Whereas if you hit 20 home runs as an outfielder, it's like, ah, he's okay. I'm 6'5". It's crazy you caught. I didn't even like catching. Yeah.

You know, it was like, you're always getting second guessed by the pitching coach. And if somebody hits a home run, it's your fault. Yeah. You know, I just, I don't know. The standout in the outfield and picking daisies, that sort of thing is more my style. Yeah, save your knees. Save your knees. That's probably the, I mean, as a person who's 6'5", yeah, in your back, trying to catch for that long. I played with Matt Wieters in Washington. He was like 6'4". And I mean, it was like...

He'd been catching for a long time, and you could tell. He couldn't run. His knees, his back, everything was slow. And I could run, so...

So, you know, by the time May came around catching, you couldn't run. I caught over 100 games four years in a row in the minor leagues. Yeah, that sounds awful. Yeah, it's terrible. So growing up, you were a baseball family, right? Yeah. Everybody in your family played professional baseball. Correct. Was there any option for you to not be a professional baseball player? Was it always like Jason, one day he will play in the big leagues? Yeah, I mean, from the time I was like hitting T-ball or even before that.

I did sign with the University of Georgia, and I was an all-state basketball player in the state of Illinois. Oh, wow. Hot take. If I went to Georgia, I was going to try and walk on and play hoops. Wow. I don't know if it would have worked, but I don't think I had much of a career path in basketball. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's the classic debate. How many Major League Baseball players could play in the NBA? How many NBA players could play Major League Baseball? I think I could have maybe sat the bench if I really put a lot of time into it. Yeah. Yeah. It would have been like...

Nobody. Yeah, so obviously I'm a Nationals fan. Max, behind the glass, is a Phillies fan. We had this debate earlier. Do you consider yourself to be a National or a Philly? Who am I talking to? You're talking to me. Well, I'm a Nat. You're also talking to me. I'm a Philly. Nat for life. I got a question. Which team did you retire for? Washington. Yeah, Nat. Wasn't that interesting, Max? Which team did you win a World Series for? Philly. But it's interesting that he came back to Washington. Which team paid you more?

Washington. Washington, yeah. Which team did you change the culture at? Washington. Which team did you hit your best season for? The Phillies. And that team I was on in Philly, I mean, we took that. We were losing in 07. We ran down the Mets 08. We ran down the Mets Winter World Series. And that changed Philadelphia at the time. So, I mean, that run from Philly to Washington was pretty good for me. Even being in the NL East...

I mean, there is a whole deal. We're good now, but there was that seven years of getting booed off the field every time I stepped on the field in Philadelphia. Yeah. I mean, there's no animosity anymore. So we're good. Yeah. You're a champion. Yeah, we won. What was the –

Was there any chance you were going to stay in Philly? Or is it, that's offered me so much money, I'm not trying to stay. Well, I wanted to stay in Philly. I mean, we had a great team. We were all about the same age. I mean, you know, Chase and Jimmy and Shane, and then they kind of pat left, whatever. But, I mean, we had an awesome team. Cole...

I wanted to stay, but there was Ryan, obviously Ryan Howard. There just wasn't... The GM told me that this couldn't pay everybody. Right. He offered me some bullshit hometown discount, even though I'm from Illinois. And it just wasn't in the cards. I hired Scott Boris and pretty much made it known that I was going to hit the free agency market. I think you should get credit for the World Series in D.C. too, because when you got to D.C.,

We sucked.

It was a bad ball club. 200 lost seasons. Yeah, 200 lost seasons back-to-back, right? Yeah. And then Jason Wirth shows up. They kind of asked you to mentor Bryce Harper, which is kind of a weird thing to ask a grown man to do when they're paying another guy a lot of money. But what was that like when he was coming up and it was like, okay, Bryce is the future of the team. Jason is the guy that's going to change the culture and move things around. But we need Jason to make sure that our young guy doesn't screw up too bad. Yeah, I wasn't very good at that.

Bryce was an interesting kid. I love Bryce. We were talking about it earlier, how hard it had to have been to be Bryce Harper or like Alex Rodriguez or somebody that...

you know, had a lot of fame at a young age. You're the chosen one before your brain is even like half developed. And before you've even done anything in the sport or at the level. I mean, I think, you know, Bryce had a tough time in Washington at times. At other times he was great. He was MVP one year. We were good. We had good teams in Washington while I was there. But, you know, Bryce has moved on to Philly, which is kind of like –

you know, funny that that happened with him. And, you know, he's, you know, now he's like the face of MLB, which was kind of what was, you know,

how it was supposed to go. Yeah, it was destined for him. And he's an awesome, he's an awesome dude. He's a great dad, you know, uh, great teammate, husband. I mean, Bryce has turned into an unbelievable big leaguer. Um, so I don't, I don't know if I help or hurt, hurt that cause along the way. We had some, we had some good times, we had some tough times, but you know, it's all part of growing up in the big leagues. You, you, uh, you know, the veterans kind of have a hold of the team and the young guys got to, got to fall in line. And, um,

You know, Ryan Zimmerman was there, Ian Desmond. I mean, he had a lot of good guys. We had good teams in Washington. I mean, that was one thing that's cool about my career is I've always played on good teams. Yeah. What about – so a moment you were – a little later in your career, the famous Papelbon versus Bryce, like, scuffle in the dugout. The DC Strangler came out. Yeah. Were you – where were you when that was going down? And what, like, what was the vibe like in the locker room after? And how does that get resolved? I mean –

Pap was just on a podcast talking about this. I don't know if you – He talks a lot. He has a lot to say. Pap, I'll show you a video. You just sent me a video from one of the basketball games. It was interesting. Pap's unbelievable. So I was at the other side of the dugout, and it had been building between the two of them. We weren't in the playoffs, so August is always the month of hate.

In the MLB. So no matter if your team's good or bad, everybody wants to fucking kill each other. And it's literally, it's the month of hate. Just from being around each other for so much? And then either you fight and you suck, or you fight and you go on to win. Yeah. It's coming. It's inevitable. August is everyone hates each other. It's hot. You're miserable. And this was September, and we suck. So it was even worse. Yeah.

And, you know, I think Harp just didn't put in the effort that Pap was looking for that day. And he was in the dugout. I have to go back and look why. Why he was even in the dugout in the bottom of the ninth. He either must have gave up a home run or came in a tie game when we were down or whatever. Because usually if the closer is in the dugout in the bottom of the ninth, he either blew a save. Which Pap didn't do that very often.

And, uh, yeah. And then I think, I think the, I think the key words in that exchange were either, do you want to fucking go or let's fucking go and read Bryce's mouth. And he, you see the fucking head twitch from pap. The, uh, like, and it was like, it just happened so fast. And then,

And I coined the phrase the DC Strangler shortly after that. So what happens in the locker room after something like that? Because, I mean, shit happens, like you said. The month of hate, it's 162 games. You guys are with each other all the time. There's fights. I mean, people get upset. I mean, it happens all the time. You got 25 grown-ass men that are, you know,

work out every day they play their balls off every day i mean there's there's fights there's you know people hate each other there's shit that goes on behind the scenes that no one ever sees that spilled over onto the cameras which was a little tough we had a uh i guess according to pap's um you know podcast he did the other day he called the meeting which i you know i just i just walked in there after getting our ass kicked again and next thing i know we have a meeting and they kind of talked about it and

And that was that. Yeah. When he talked about it, was he like, did you guys just see me kick Bryce's ass? Is that what the meeting was about? No, I mean, he apologized. I mean, he called the meeting, I guess, and he was just like, hey, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done this, blah, blah, blah.

Hey, the interesting part from a fan's perspective is because we always, you know, fans sit there. And when we played the sport, we're watching. It was when you were in little league and like you're you're all your friends and stuff. So you think in your head, you're like, oh, these guys must all be friends.

But that's never how it works. How, like in a clubhouse. I mean, you are and you're not. Yeah. But like how many, how many guys, like was there some guys in clubhouses, not even naming names, but like that you're like, yeah, they generally, they like genuinely hate each other, but we can figure out a way to get along. Yeah. Yeah.

uh you know i mean for the most part everybody gets along i mean the mets do things sometimes that i think would probably fall under that you know but they're the fucking mats so that's just what happens um i just don't i don't get their i don't get their franchise at all i played in the nl east for too long and played against them but um what's so different about the mets

I don't know. They just suck. So in a day-to-day, were you considered a glue guy or were you like, I'm going to mind my own business type of guy? I mean, I would think you'd probably call me a glue guy. Yeah. So would you take responsibility of like, hey, look, I know this isn't going well right now, like just vibes. I got to figure out a way to... I think you just make it work. I played on mostly championship teams that won the division almost every year. And you got to make it work. Yeah.

You know, you fight, you get up, you hug it out, and you move on. I mean, the fight's not with each other. It's with the other team. Yeah. You literally walk on the field, at least you used to. The game's changed a little bit. But you used to walk on the field every day, like, with the mentality and the thought is I might have to fight the whole other team. Right, right. You know, so like that. And I know that my guy's got my back. You know, so that's kind of the mentality at the end of the day when the game starts. You know, you're all in it together. You're all brothers. We're all going to.

We're out there to fucking kill people. Because I remember you had... That's the good teams. Yeah, you had a quote about the analytics in baseball and just how the people upstairs, they read books and do math and bullshit like that was what you said. And downplaying the... Twirly birds. Yeah. You might have called them super nerds at one point too. Yeah, I fucked that up. They're twirly birds. But downplaying the importance of chemistry because I do think that gets lost, especially with how the media talks about it, how the analytics talk about it. It's like...

guys wanting to fight for each other it doesn't show up on a stat on a in a box score but it's really fucking important yeah i mean i think the yankees have proved you can have all the best players but if you don't have the chemistry it doesn't matter you know you gotta you

You got to give me a group of guys that might not be the best players, but they get along and they're all moving in the right direction and we'll go win. Yeah. Because you use more of the little things right, I would imagine, if it's something that you actually care about. You care about the guy next to you. You make sure that you're backing him up on a throw to third base. Yeah. All sorts of stuff, right? Yeah, and that's the stuff off the field too, I think, and in the clubhouse and like –

how that all works. The 19 Nats were a perfect example of that. I mean, we had all those things all those years. We just couldn't get over the hump. You know, we get to the playoffs, we lose in the first round. Like, what was it? In the 19 team, they were able to put it all together. You know, they brought in Parra,

and my nemesis, Annabelle Sanchez. He's your nemesis? Dude, just look it up. It's bad. Oh, wait. No, tell me the story because Annabelle Sanchez is a personal hero of mine just because I had him on my fantasy team the year that he threw a no-hitter. That's literally the whole story. That's my only thing. That was my every game against him. It's something like three for 35 with like 28 punch-outs. Wow.

Jesus Christ. And then, like, I faced him when I was hot, when I was cold. I did hit a homer off him in Philly, but it, like, it hit the back of the fence, like, went in the flower bed. You know, barely count. Yeah, right. Didn't feel good. I remember we went into Detroit. I was with the Nats. I was hot. I was, like, player of the month,

And I was going there, and I was like, I'm going to get him. This is it, you know? And it was like two punch-outs and a broken bat back to the pitcher. And it was just like... And I got three hits the next day. Oh, man. It's crazy. It didn't matter, yeah. How psycho is Max Scherzer as a teammate? On the day he pitches, from like 2.30 on, Max is great. He's one of my buddies. He'll love... You know, it's like...

You're a horse for one day and you're a horse's ass for the next four? Yeah. That was Max. He's just an idiot. But on the day he pitches, you want him with the ball. But at like 2.30 on, he puts the headphones on and starts listening to like, I don't know what he's listening to. But, you know, the funny thing is he'll look over to his locker mate and he'll be like, you know, with the squirrely ass eyes he's got. He's like...

see you on the other side and then he puts his fucking headphones on and he goes full psycho until he comes out of the game it's awesome you know you come in and you look at the lineup and you're like you know you don't really for the most part you don't know who's pitching every day just you know you're gonna play every day whoever pitches is inconsequential but

You walk in and you see Scherzer, you know, pitching. And you're like, fuck yeah, let's go. Yeah. Because you know he's going to be fired up for the game. Yeah. Yeah. Ultimate competitor. I got to ask you about maybe one of the best at-bats in Major League Baseball history. It was the NLDS, right? Yep. And you had 13 pitches. And then you hit a dinger, walk it off, bottom of the ninth. When we're watching that at-bat,

At home, it's like every single pitch, you get more and more nervous as a fan. When you're in the box going through that bat, are you like, fuck, another foul ball. I hope I don't fuck this next one up. Do you get more nervous or do you get more locked in? No, I only get nervous for horse racing. That bat was cool. So that bullpen, that Cardinal bullpen that year was the hardest throwing bullpen of all time. And it wasn't even close.

And that was like the new age bullpen. Now every bullpen is constructed like that. Everyone's got, you know, everyone's throwing 100 out of the pen. Yeah. You know, their bullpen was nasty. That Lance Lynn in there that was, you know, he had like an 18 game winner. And I start off the eighth. He paints two heaters down the way at 97. I'm down 0-2. I always had this thing, you know, the personal thing of mine where if I got down 0-2, I'll be like, all right, let's get it to 3-2.

You know, if I get to 3-2, now I can win the at-bat. So, and it's, you know, it never works out. I mean, sometimes it does, but that's the kind of the mentality. We're going to fight. We're going to battle and get to 3-2. You know, we're going to be tough out. And I just kept grinding and I kept grinding and fouling balls off. But as I kept fouling those balls off, I kept timing them up.

And there was like a 2-2 pitch, I think. He threw a hook. And Yachty, probably the best catcher of all time, he went to frame it and just kind of hit off the bottom of his mitt, just didn't quite catch it. If he catches it, I'm done.

So then I went to 3-2, and I was like, I fucking got him. And I fouled the ball off, and the next pitch I shot him, and it was like a pretty cool moment for D.C. and for me, obviously, signing that big deal and kind of sucking the first year, getting the organization turned around in the right direction. And then I broke my wrist that year in 2012. I had all these wrist problems when I was younger, and so then I break my wrist. The second year in Washington, it's just like, oh, my God, I'm going to –

things could not go worse. Right. And the team plays great. We're like best team in baseball. I come back off the DL and ended up in like 310 or 12 or something that year and then got that hit. But the next day I lead off with a double and we go up like six, seven runs and then we end up fucking losing that game. Yeah. You know, we were just so snake bit in the playoffs. We had that 18 inning game against the Giants that we couldn't win. Then we, you know, it's just like,

Then we go to San Fran. We needed to win a game. All hell breaks loose. It was weird. It was like we just weren't meant to win. Everything went against us. The series against the Cubs that year, we had them beat.

And we beat them up. When they went and played the Dodgers the next round, they had nothing. Same thing the next year, the Dodgers, we had them beat. They had burned Clayton Kershaw off no day's rest out of the bullpen. And we had them beat, and they ended up beating us. And then they played the Cubs, and they had nothing left. We were set up. I felt like we were just hitting our stride. So it was like if we could ever...

gotten through the first round, I mean, I thought every time we were in the playoffs, we were going to win it all. Yeah, yeah. But, you know, we got our championship in 2019. I wasn't there, but I feel like, like you said, I had a lot to do with that team and those guys. Well, it's a big change in terms of what the team was like before you got there to the way that you left the team afterwards. And you were talking about changing culture. How much can one guy do as a baseball player to change a culture in the city? I mean, I tried a lot. We had a lot. Zim was a big, big help. I mean...

if i ever wanted to get anything done i went to ryan the the ownership would and the gms they would listen to ryan i became white noise i think towards towards the end yeah i was asking for so much yeah uh you know we we changed the medical we changed uh the food and the clubhouse and did a lot of good stuff and created created this a really good environment for guys to go and win and be be successful and be comfortable how important is the food

I think it's everything. Would you stop at McDonald's and feed your racehorse a Big Mac on the way to the track and expect him to win? Right. Or would you want to feed him the best food in the world and make sure he has everything he needs from a training...

mind, body, spirit type of approach. Yeah. I got a question about your time in Washington as well, and it doesn't totally apply, but it's more like where baseball's headed. So obviously it was very famous when Strasburg came up and he gets hurt and then they put the limits on him. You see it now with young pitchers like Paul Skeens had a no-hitter going through seven and they took him out of the game. What do the rest of the guys in the clubhouse think about

When the management puts a limit on the pitchers and you know that it's not the pitcher's fault, but you're like, come on, like this guy's a stud. Let's keep him out there. Yeah. This is a tough one for me because, you know, I still, I still want to work in baseball ongoing. So I can't bury my former employer on this one. Yeah. I will say that I, we had a conversation at the beginning of the year. Davey Johnson was the manager and,

And I said, why are we going to start Strauss opening day if we have this innings limit? Why wouldn't we start him in May so we can get him through October? Right. And, I mean, we're coming off 200 lost seasons, a 500 season, and then that season. And he looked at me and says, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. So I'm like, fuck. Yeah. All right. And...

That was about all I had to say about it. But I feel like looking back, I wish I would have said more. I don't think it would have mattered. They don't give a fuck what I say. But are the guys in the clubhouse, do they get frustrated? I mean, I'm sure Strauss was frustrated too. I think we were all frustrated, especially since we lost. But I mean, Strauss was healthy. I don't know. Could he have pitched out of the pen? Could he have came in and closed games? Did he want to? Was he like, I want to be in there? I don't know. I mean, being injured and not getting to the point where you've made money is really tough in that game. Right.

So you got to look out for yourself, unfortunately. But, you know, at the same time, it's a, you know, you got to be there for your guys. That was, Strauss was young. The team was, you know, in its prime.

I mean, it turned out he got paid and they won a World Series. So I think it all worked out. Would I like to see him continue to pitch or even start the season later so we would have had him? Of course. But I don't know. We still had a chance. We were up six runs in that game five. We should have closed that out. It's just another one of those weird things when I was there. We're just...

You felt snake bit, really. Yeah, I mean, it's a good point that you made, which is like if we have him on this innings limit or this pitches limit, whatever the case was, why don't we just start the clock later? And the fact that he's like, we'll cross that bridge when we get there, that's pretty much saying, yeah, we're not going to do that. Yeah, just go out in the right field. Yeah. Third or second, whatever it was. Yeah, it's the same amount of innings. It would make sense to just push it back a little bit. Switching over to the outfield,

Do you remember the first time that you lost a ball in the lights or just lost in the clouds? Because that feels like it must be the most helpless feeling. It's the worst. Yeah, and I, like, for whatever reason, I wasn't good at it. Sun balls, too. First one? I don't know. There's a good one at, you can still find it, I think. It was a twilight ball. So, like, for, like, three minutes every night, sometimes the sky goes purple.

And if the ball goes up, you got no shot. And it was kind of later in my career. And we all talked about it. The worst is when you see an outfielder go back and he's throwing his hands up and like, I can't see it. I can't see it. And everyone's just running because they know he can't see it. So I'm like, what? Well, just act like you have it. Yeah. You know, the center field, you know I don't see it. Like, get over here. Yeah, right. So...

Andre Ether was hitting for the Dodgers and my buddy Chase Utley was on second. And we were kind of like later in our career. And Andre Ether hits a ball up and I go back and camp underneath it like I definitely got it. And I don't see it until I see it go over my head. I was already at the spot. And then I act like I catch it and I look at Chase at second base and he looks at me. He's like, I can see him be like, what the fuck?

And like, he's like laughing around third. I'm laughing. Like it was hilarious. Like, you know, a text me every game. I was like, I fucking got you.

But, uh, that, that was, um, there was the gift actually, or the, yeah. Uh, you can see the ball goes right over my, you know, and they did the thing where it was like the circle for like MLB, the show is like, you know, when your controller stops working, you know, like, I don't know. It was, it was pretty funny, but, um, it is, it sucks. My buddy, Sean Kelly, he tells everybody, uh, that I'm the worst outfielder of all time. Cause it was like, there was two times. And, uh,

And Milwaukee, you know, Milwaukee has the weird glare sometime on day games. Like that afternoon game, it gets kind of weird in the fall. And there was two balls that went out there I never saw. Like one almost hit me. I was like, I was trying to like just catch the sun and it like went right here. I mean, you're fucked. It's not a good feeling. It's not where you want to be. But I just always felt like the guys that are running around acting like idiots and like they don't see the ball. Yeah, giving it away. Yeah, I'm like, just stand there and act like you got it. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know.

Neither way works. I got a horse racing question for you. Who's your goat horse race? And this is a very important question because we have one as a podcast. What do you mean? Who's your goat? Your goat horse. The best horse. Oh, that's easy. Dornick. Oh, okay. You can name your own. We think Secretariat was roided up and Flightline is my personal goat.

So I was at that. So I just got into horse racing. Yeah. So I haven't really, I'm like, this is year three of horse racing for me. I was at that flight line race. And at the time. At the breeders? Yeah. Yeah. I was there too. I felt like I was watching Muhammad Ali in prime. Yeah. It was, I was the coolest. I've seen some cool shit. And I put that up there.

It's number two now after Dornick's win in the Belmont. That's like, I put the World Series, the parade, and then the Belmont win as my top three. Yeah. That was awesome. Did you find that horse racing people have welcomed you with open arms or is it still, is it like a club that you're trying to get into? I don't know. We'll see. I mean, I think,

Went in the Belmont was, was, uh, was kind of like my entry in. You can't say anything to you now. Yeah. Yeah. So, uh, I know one thing, uh, Saratoga, I haven't doing that at Saratoga was really awesome. And then, so like the next day we went back on Sunday to like get some souvenirs and shit and just run by the tracks. I had a couple of people,

and I felt like the mayor of Saratoga or something. Yeah, Saratoga, I've said it before. The people are so great. For people who don't know, Saratoga and Keeneland are the Fenway and Wrigley of horse racing. Correct, yeah. They are the special, special places when you walk in, you feel it. You feel like you're back in time. Right, exactly. It's very old-timey, and it feels that way. That's a good analogy. Yeah, so that's crazy that you won the Belmont three years in. My first cold I bought. It's nuts. That doesn't happen in horse racing.

No, it doesn't have them period. Yeah. Right. So are you like, are you all in? Are you like, this is cause it, cause it's a very cool, if you, if you have the money and, and you know, you can get some success, it's gotta be one of the coolest things to be able to buy horses and win big time races. Yeah. It's addicting. Um,

But look, I tell people that running a Tuesday 16 clamor at Tampa Bay Downs is exciting. Yeah. I mean, it's not as exciting, but it's like winning a big game. Yeah. You know, winning the Belmont was like winning the World Series. Yeah. That's kind of the emotions that you feel. I think horse racing is cool for athletes in general, regardless of what level you played. Because when that – if you own the horse, I think when you bet on the horse –

compared to when you own the horse are two different things. You're like dealing with a family member that's playing. But I say that when they come out of the gate,

I get the emotions of what I had when I was playing. Yeah. And you can't replicate those. You know, you can't, you know, you can't play, you know, anything really, golf or whatever, you know, pick up basketball, whatever it is. I mean, you can't do anything anymore after you're done playing, you know, a sport that gives you those emotions. And then all of a sudden I start getting into horse racing. I'm like, damn, like I'm back on the field. Right. You know, then you win. You're like, fuck yeah, woo.

I think for athletes, it's an amazing sport. How did you get into it in the first place? Was there somebody that you had that was a friend that owned a horse and was like, hey, I think you'd enjoy this? Yeah, I was playing golf with some guys. I just kind of started playing golf, too.

That's not fair that you're that good. I played a lot as a kid, sorry. I just started again. Wait, how good are you? I mean, he was like plus eight or plus ten on... What did you shoot? I got ten points at American Century, but I played bad. Pretty damn good. Yeah, it's really good. I'm a 5.6 handicap. Did you see what A-Rod shot?

He was awful. I saw him on the range. I didn't need to see what he shot. So they cap your strokes per hole, right? Yeah. You can only get a double. I think he maxed every hole. His first round he did. His swing would...

Lead you to believe that's true. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, that's not fair. Such a great athlete is such a bad golfer. But it's so funny because when you see athletes, like professional athletes golfing, you're like, this is not fair. And then you remind yourself like, oh yeah, they just move different than everyone else. So of course there can be good at golf.

You guys just move differently. I think there's exceptions, but yeah. But I mean, it's for the most part, like you see them and you're like, yeah, of course they are. And I can understand if Alex just started playing golf because when I first started, again, I was really bad because the baseball swing and the golf swing are two totally different things. Yeah. Is there a sport that you really stink at?

I don't really play many sports. So the answer is you probably are awesome at all. Every sport that you've played. All-state basketball. Won the Belmont. Yeah, so far so good. You'll be an all-star. Seems like you're pretty damn good at all of them. I wasn't really good at long-distance running.

That's not a sport. I really suck at long distance, right? That's a great thing to suck at. That actually means that you're smart. It means that your body knows to conserve energy. Why would you do that anyways? Yeah, it's a shitty sport. Exactly. So the other thing you're into is you're a farmer, right?

And you farm regular crops, right? And also marijuana. How did you get into that? We haven't actually started farming marijuana. We're in the process. We have a license, too, and we're building the concept. But yeah, I got into ag...

kind of an 09 it was more of a place just to get away from everybody after the season and and do some deer hunting and then it turned into this um i was about the same time i started kind of taking real good care of myself like eating organically uh you know just doing everything i could to be um the best athlete and i didn't want them you know i didn't want them spraying all that shit on my land and

And, uh, cause I wanted to eat the, you know, process the deer that we killed and, and, um, and then, you know, I just want to be eating good stuff too. So it turned into this organic farming project, which is, uh, which is cool. I, it turns out I like agriculture and we applied for, um, a craft grow marijuana license, uh, a few years back and we got it. We're kind of back.

building that all out so yeah that's awesome it's really cool yeah so do you actually get out in the fields and do you do like get on the machinery sometimes and you get hands-on with it yeah i'm more i'm more into like the planning side of it uh i've got a farmer that actually farms but uh i've done some uh i've done some harvesting and kind of get out there and move some big machinery around i like you know i like driving stuff like that so i've done it a little bit but i mean that's

I don't know. That's a whole different animal. Yeah. I've been saying for the last four years that weed has gotten too potent...

in America. It's gotten too strong and we need to bring back like just good quality, normal weed, regular weed. - Mids, yeah. - Like mids. - Like ditch weed? - No, not like bad, not like weed that'll give you a hangover. This is the battle that I fight against people sometimes. I'm like, let's just smoke normal weed. And they're like, wait, you want to smoke shake? No, I want to smoke something that I can enjoy and then go out and function and go about my day.

But a lot of the weed nowadays, it's like you hit it, then at least for me, I have to just sit down on a couch and watch a show that I'm going to forget. You have a low tolerance. I might have a low tolerance, but I think America needs to bring back mids. Think about it. I think just making like average regular weed. Just one strain of average weed. It's an interesting concept. Yeah.

Our business plan is actually built on the opposite. We're going for the super high end. Super high potency. You should just have one plant that just says normal pot. Yeah, literally just put one plant outside. I think you could probably do this yourself. Now that you're talking about it, I probably could. You could do it on your rooftop. They allow you three plants in Illinois, right? Do they really? Yeah. Fuck it. I'm going to grow my own weed. Yeah.

I'm going to show you. I'm going to show everybody. Yeah. And I'm going to sell it for, since it's only one plant, I can charge just an enormous rate for it. Well, that would be illegal. Yeah. You're right. I'm definitely not going to be doing that. We're going to smoke it. And we're going to smoke it. Yeah. We're going to have a hell of a time. Try it. Let me know. If it gets popularity, maybe we'll change our business plan up. Yeah. There you go. I'll sell you my seeds. Yeah. Max, I'm sure you have a couple questions. Max is a diehard Phillies fan.

baseball player i don't know if you saw some of his swings last night he was the matt stairs of the caa i uh i was following around last night you guys are you guys are idiots yeah i mean way too old to be going out there trying to hit 700 home runs well those max is a little bit younger that i'm an idiot we when i looked at the we're talking obviously about the jerry after dark uh we did the barry bonds record i looked at the halfway through i looked at the leaderboard

And it was the bottom four guys were all 37 plus. And I was like, this might be the moment that we got to just stop. But Max was a beast. And Max is still in his prime. So, Max, baseball guy to baseball guy, you got questions about the Phils? The World Series champion Phils? I have one question. And it's not about the World Series team. It's about the 07 team and the Mets collapse. Let's talk about it. What exactly was going on, like, in the clubhouse during September? Like...

You guys were so far back and the Mets had such a big lead. And like each day, like the Mets kept losing, the Phillies kept winning. Like what was going on in the clubhouse? Did you actually think that like you had a shot to catch them? I think we thought that there was no way in hell we weren't catching them. Like the mentality of that team. And that's what set that run off because we knew we were so far back. We were seven down and 17 to play.

That's nuts. Crazy. Yeah. So we sweep the Mets. And I had a big game. I think that might have been 08.

We did the same thing in 08. We were down seven with 20 to play. You can't even remember your favorite Mets collapse. There are like five of them. They come together, but I stole second. We're tie game. I like walked off Billy Wagner, and then I stole second. We were down a run. I stole second and third, and then...

Taguchi? Taguchi? I played for the White Sox. So Taguchi? No, so it was on 08. This was 07, though. Okay. So this was 07. This was the one. So still second, third. He hits a double and ties the game, and Chase comes up and gets a base hit to win it, to walk him off on a four-game series. And that was the moment where it was like, we can't be stopped. And we come down. So this is cool. The last day of the season, second to last day of the season,

I guess it was the second day. God damn, they all run together now. We come out of the tunnel, walking down the tunnel to run your pregame sprints or whatever, and it's like, it's fucking loud out there. And by the time we got in the dugout, it's like, it like cranks it up like, you know, it's like,

full throttle and we look and it's 7-0 Marlins against the Mets and they like started at like you know 105 we're like the 135 game so it was like 7-0 to start the game and like we like that the place Philly is so fucking cool in this regard it was going ape shit I mean everyone was going nuts and we had the game was you know we're still 20 minutes till the game yeah and it was like we're like we ain't losing and then so we win that game

um i think it ended like a kind of a crazy double play still but that would have made us tied for the set if we would have lost would have been tied going the last game of the season but then we were up so um and then the next day i charlie told me i wasn't playing so i was like sitting in there i had my shoes off had my spikes off um and then uh jimmy comes in and says hey you're you're up it's like the ninth inning or something like that i'm like i'm up like

All right. So I throw my shoes on. I got 19 stolen bases on the year and like 24 home runs. So I'm like, fuck, I got a chance to go to 2020. And, uh, I get a, I get a base hit or a Walker. Somehow I ended up on first base and I still second base, uh,

you know, dead cold, like probably could have like tore hamstring or something, but I went 2020 that year and like, I wanted to rip the base out of the ground, but I didn't, I didn't cause it was only 20 bases. Um, yeah, that was, uh, that was, uh, you know, that was kind of the start of the, the Mets kind of in my mind being the Mets. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Then we did it again the next year. Then won the World Series. Yeah, it was awesome. I was 12 years old during the 07 run. I think that was the first time that we made the playoffs that I could really remember. And then that just set up the Phillies to be such a good franchise for a little while. Yeah, we would sell out every night. Oh, yeah. It's like what it is now. You watch the Philly games now. I mean, the place is going bananas. Hank. We're loving it. Yeah. What's the hardest place to play? Is it in Philly?

For me, it was the old Marlin Stadium. It was... Anything in Miami was hard, I guess. I don't know. I didn't play very good down there. The Giants... Well, that was the... Yeah, and what was the other... Volstad? Volstad? He was there, too. I wasn't very good off him, either. He was like... I think he would pitch the next day after I was all fucked up, and then he would be like... He was like 6'10". I didn't get any hits off him, either. What's the hardest, like, visuals, whether it be batting or in the outfield in MLB? Any...

I'll tell you, the good ones are like the ones where they have the flat background that's like close to the fence, like Milwaukee, Arizona, Philly. Philly's really good. The tough ones are the ones like Boston where it kind of goes back or they put fans out there. The old Miami Stadium where it would go back for like a long ways. I think that's why I didn't play good. I didn't see very good. But, you know, San Fran's kind of, you know, batter's eye sits way far back. Yeah.

LA is a good place to hit. Yeah, it's funny because you don't even think about it. That matters a lot, I would assume. Yeah, a lot. Being able to see is crucial. Did they change that rule because of the Cubs? Not having fans that are just in center field? Yeah, cut sometimes. They used to wear white shirts when the opposing team was up to bat and then change into black shirts. Some guys it doesn't bother. It bothered me a lot.

Yeah. What about just velocity in general for pitchers? Because we're seeing, I think in the All-Star game, we had this one guy get in from the A's last night. He threw a bunch of pitches that were above like 102 miles an hour. Yeah, he's just... Stopped out at 103.6, I believe. Definitely makes it harder. We've seen a lot of, like the velocity has been increasing a lot in the last couple of years. Did you notice in your time span when you started playing to the end that pitchers are getting faster? Oh, big time.

I mean, when I came up, you guys were still throwing like 80, 89 sinker sliders, you know, like there was none of that left by the time I got out of there. Like my last year when I came off the DL, I like put one of those, those flaps on my, my helmet just as like a mockery to how hard everybody was throwing. Um, but I made the joke the other day. It was like, you know, I played in like the golden era of baseball. It was like when it was still pure and like,

what it was for the last hundred years. And then, you know, now it's like everyone's throwing a hundred and wearing oven mitts. It's turned into this, you know, totally different phenomenon of, of, of the sport. You know, no one hits for average. Yeah. You're either striking out or hitting a home run. Yeah. I don't know. It's the game cycles through these things and, and the game is still the game. I did a, I did a broadcast the other night for the Nats and

um i still love the sport i think it's i think it's great um it's just changed yeah rules have changed does it does it benefit guys like i know kyle hendricks is on the tail end of his career but he was always a guy who was like he wasn't throwing more than you know 91 92 and he was kind of a lot harder though yeah like is so does it benefit guys like that who have something a little different than just throwing a 101 down the middle yeah i mean i can um

I don't know. That's why you always kind of switch up your pitching rotation so it's not the same guy every night. Right. But I don't know. Velocity was – especially these kids now, though, they're used to it. That's all they see. Yeah. We didn't ever see that. And then all of a sudden one guy would come out of the pen and throw it 100. You're like, oh, shit, this guy's – so it's just different. But it is weird that –

batting averages have plummeted. Yeah, it's interesting. With the velocity. It's like the thing that makes the game fun to watch is actually statistically not proven over the long run to make for the best batters. So like home runs and strikeouts, not that fun to watch.

People getting on base, the excitement, the drama, that is fun to watch. But the nerds upstairs, they're like, well, if we model this out over the course of a full season, it's not always the best for us. Yeah. Yeah, the twirly birds, right? Twirly birds, yeah. So baseball's caught in this weird place where it's like, do we want an entertaining product or do we want to win baseball games? I...

We don't know if this actually proves out to win baseball games over the long run. So it's kind of frustrating as a fan, someone who used to watch a ton of baseball. Right. I agree. I feel like we're losing fans. Yeah. By the way, I looked it up. You were actually worse against Chris Volstead. I thought so. Yeah. Three for 33, and you were six for 33 against Anibal Sanchez. Yeah. Equally as awful. Yeah. And I'm looking at it right now. You were awesome against R.A. Dickey. You just could hit a knuckleball?

Yeah, I hit a homer off Wakefield in Boston when I was with LA in 2004, my rookie year. Yeah. And we played a lot of backyard knuckleball, wiffleball when we were kids. Yeah. So I just equate it to kind of going back to that. But yeah, I killed a R.A. Dickey. Yeah, you hit 400 against him. So you just could see it. And how many home runs? You had two home runs against R.A. Dickey. I thought there was more. But still, I mean, 406.

He would throw me fastballs. Really? Yeah, he got tired of me hitting his balls. How intimidating of a pitcher was Dan Heron? And he's a close friend of ours. So feel free to say how great he was. Dan was nasty. I played with Dan in Washington, too, so I got to know him. He's the best guy. He's like the driest, most sarcastic, funniest dude. He used to have diarrhea every day he'd pitch. Chug Pepto-Bismol.

He said that he would, when he was, when his last year was with the Cubs, he was like, I contemplated retiring every time the wind was blowing out. He kind of, he's, that's the type of guy he was. Yeah. Uh, he's, uh, I remember facing him when he was in Arizona and, you know, he was just,

He looked like he was really mean and like you were kind of like, you know, he's a bulldog out there and his stuff was really nasty. But then I played with him and realized he's just he's a really nice guy. Nicest dude ever. Yeah. Nicest dude. Yeah. Yeah. Who are you the best against? I'm looking it up right now. Do you know the best that was like good? Yeah. I had some good games against Clayton Kershaw. Yeah. You also hit left. He's great. You tuned up Tim Hudson.

to all the bros braves guys yeah elo hit good off them like i i played good against the braves uh

And the Mets. Yeah. Played them a lot. Yeah, you hit .386 against Tim Hudson with four home runs. Yeah, I remember one time on the bus, Rick Ankle was on my team, and he was like, hey, did Tim Hudson just text me and told me to tell you to fuck off? There you go. It feels good going both ways. Yeah. With Sanchez and then that. Yeah. How, this is a dumb question, just how sick is it to hit a home run?

Oh, it's sick. It's like, yeah, it's sick. So it's the best. I mean, you guys hit a ton of them last night. So it probably like, you were so tired, you probably hated it. No, it's especially a big one with the on the road, you know, in a big game when the place is packed and then like you hit a,

You hit it and you can hear a fucking pin drop. Oh, I'm sure when they do the slow clap, then you hit a home run. That's got to be the best feeling in the world. Yeah, and just goes dead silent. Yeah. And then everybody's like, fuck, and they're all leaving. Yeah. And that's a pretty good feeling. Yeah. Also, must rock to just know that you don't have to run the bases. Like, you can just trot, take your time. I like to run the bases, though. I think that's part of the game that we're missing out on right now. No one knows how to run the bases. Yeah. You know, this whole stealing base rules kind of, you know, messing up the...

You know, the numbers on the stolen bases. And then the guys are making a ton of outs on the bases. Yeah. And it's like when I would coach my kid that summer, I coached my kid. I was like, who's teaching you guys? What are you guys? I mean, it's like a lost art. Yeah. It really is. I agree with that. Do they have the giant sliding mitt? Yeah. And they got all these skits. You know, you got kids, 12-year-old kids wearing the oven mitt. Yeah.

Why? Just wear a bigger mitt. Get like four extra inches. Yeah. Just flop it out there and be like, I stole. Just touch second base. I mean, I played a long time. I never had any problems sliding into bases with my hands. Yeah. Did you ever have a rivalry against a pitcher that... Did you ever charge the mound? No. No?

No, I wouldn't put myself in that situation. One on six with a guy behind you is not a really – I guess one on five with a guy behind you is not a great place to be. Knock your odds. Because I did see a video. I think it was you and Jose Fernandez where you stared him down.

Yeah, he would hit me a lot. Yeah, you guys locked eyes and neither one of you would look away. But then by the time you got to third base, I think things were all good. He punched me out that game and then he was like, he was running his mouth at me when I had my head down. And he punched me out and he stared me down and I didn't see it. So the next at bat he hits me and I'm like, what the fuck? You got something to say? Like I was ready to fight then.

But he was just a kid. I was like 12 years older than him or something like that. So I was just like, why? I got to second base and Dee Gordon was at second base. I was like, what the fuck? What's his problem? I don't even know him. And I knew Dee when he was a kid. I played with his dad Flash in Philly. And Dee's like, I don't know, man. What'd you do to him? I was like, I don't fucking do anything to him. And I got to third and he was looking over me. He's all smiley. And I'm like,

what are you looking at me like that for? He's like, you were looking at me. I was like, whatever. So, I don't know. That was, didn't really have too many issues on the field. We got into a lot of fights in the minor leagues. Yeah. But nothing too bad in the big leagues. I was there for the Bryce Harper fight

fighting San Fran when he throws his helmet sideways. Yeah. That's a funny one. It was interesting because he threw his helmet. It was like 50 cents first pitch. That's how bad the helmet toss was. Yeah, it's hilarious. But then his flow was so good after he took his helmet off. I thought he just took his helmet off to show off his hair. So you had Bryce throwing his helmet sideways with his hair.

you had Samarja and Mike Morse coming right in between the two of them and they literally like made out yeah Mikey never played again like he had like concussion Samarja never played again yeah like ended both of their careers yeah and I was coming in there and I had my hair it was like the hair olympics yeah yeah and um yeah it was uh that was that was a good one it wasn't didn't end up being too bad we had a little mix up with the pirates one time that got a little testy but

For the most part, there's only been a few really bad fights. Yeah. Most of them are just- They just get everyone chest bumps. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you try. Yeah, yeah. You start with the- All right, so I have one last question. This has been awesome. We appreciate you coming on. It's-

It's a rowback question. R-H-O-B-A-C-K dot com promo code take. 20% off your first purchase. Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Rowback dot com promo code take. You did something that I wish more professional athletes do and did.

It's the coolest thing you can do. I don't know why more guys don't do it. You retired, and then you played, like, rec league baseball. One time. And just fucking... But, okay, so even that one time, the bomb you hit was so goddamn awesome. All right. What...

First of all, how sick was that? Because, like, that's – honestly, I don't know why – like, if you are a professional athlete – Can't win. But especially, like, with the amount of shit talking that happens on social media these days, if I were a sick professional athlete, the minute I retired, I would go play intramurals and just kick the shit out of everyone and be like, there's levels, bro. All right. So, full disclosure, a good buddy of mine became a good buddy of mine, Matt Micah.

was involved in the congressional baseball team shooting in DC when Steve Scalise got shot. Uh, he was there, he got shot twice. I went to go see him in the hospital, uh, after that whole thing. Um, and that's where I met Matt and like, you know, he was about dead when I met him and I was like, Hey man, get, you know, take care of yourself. He played baseball in college. I was like, we'll bring you out to the, uh,

and then the next year he took a little batting practice but he still I mean he got shot in like the hand so it was right so uh years later I uh I'm playing with Seattle in the minor leagues my last year pull my hamstring and I uh I quit I just like that's a I'm done I retire and I come home and Matt calls me he's like hey man I'm getting back on the field next week for the first time will you come play with me and I'm like fuck all I get yeah I mean I have to so I'm like sure

so i go and it's just like you know it's probably the worst field that i've ever played on the you know it's just a wrecked field or whatever i ground out first of all i'm tuned up for like 95 plus i'm just retired right these guys are throwing like 78. yeah so i like ground out the short uh bugs bunny like one two three strikes you're out you know like swing three times at a ball

strike out my second about and then these fucking guys are like mouthing me you know like i don't know who this guy is you know i'm in dc yeah you know like they're just like talking shit and the guy goes three oh on me and then like the catcher's like whatever and it was like one of those times where like i'd like the hair stands on the stands up on the back of your neck and i got like fucking mad yeah and then i hit a ball over the moon and uh

I came in, you know, and that was my last trip around the bases ever. Really? Ever. I'll never play that game ever again. And I totally came in. I said, that's it, boys. I'm going home. And I walked to my car with my full uni on. I had spikes on, got in, and left. So you proved your point, though. Like, that was a moment where everyone was, like, clowning you. And you're like, no, dude. I can... You don't understand the difference between me and you. Yeah. So that was...

You know, and it goes around social media like quarterly. You know, people send it to me like, are you playing rec league? Yeah. I was like 20. I was 2018. So it's been a while. You wouldn't you wouldn't you wouldn't do it for softball? I don't think. Just fucking. I would not play softball. Absolutely not.

I was, if you would have called me and said, Hey, I, uh, we need you to come in and, uh, get us home last night. Yeah. I mean, I, I maybe would have, you know, slammed a six pack on the way over there. And yeah. And, uh,

and came in hot, but it would have to be for a good cause. I don't think I'd lace him up and go run around the outfield or do anything like that. Yeah. For a good cause could just be to feel good one day. Yeah. Just show up to the field. Just to dominate someone. I'm not there mentally right now. Okay. Yeah.

Well, we might need you on a Barstool softball team because that's also my dream is just doing a Barstool softball team and then just like one week just showing up with like five ex-MLB guys. You ever see that episode of The Simpsons? Homer at the bat. Yeah. They get the entire team of just MLB players. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what we're going to do when we face off against like Bleacher Report. We could just buy some horses too and go get fired up about it. No, I want to see you hit tanks. Yeah, I'll consider it. Do you have any more horses?

Yeah, I got a few. Any good ones that are like the same level as doorknob? Yeah, yeah. So I own this horse named Drip. And Drip was supposed to be the favorite in the Tampa Bay Derby. Tampa Bay Derby is when you're in the derby. Yeah. And he scratched that week. But he ran the fifth fastest time of the year on his first race.

And we think he's really talented. He's with Whit Beckman, the trainer, and his workmate was Honor Marie. And he was out working Honor Marie by like a length every time. He was kicking his ass. Wow. And we joke that Drip made Honor Marie because Honor Marie ran the derby, ran like eighth, and then ran fourth in the Belmont. Nice horse. But he's not real big, and Drip towers over it. He's a good magic sire, same as Dornick.

and uh i think he'll he'll be he'll run we're kind of pointing him to the big races next year like i don't know i've got this crazy dream maybe maybe he runs in like the dui cup or the the saudi saudi derby or something the breeders yeah and then the breeders at the end of the year so um he's really he would be the only other horse that i have that's really good nice drip it's a great name drip do you have any input into the names of the horses i didn't on that one actually but i i do on some of them uh the doric uh was is a cool story i was actually in

in Scotland playing

playing Royal Dornick, the golf course with, with Utley. And, uh, and I came home the next week I came home, I called the trainer. I was like, Hey, how's that horse doing? And he's like, Oh, really good. I was like, did you, have you named him yet? He's like, yeah. Uh, uh, Larry named him, um, uh, Dornick or something. I'm like, like the fucking golf course. That's nuts. And he's like, I think so. I was like, when I was just there, he's like, yeah, last week. So literally while I was playing Royal Dornick with, with Chase, uh,

The guys name the horse Dornick, unbeknownst to me being there or anything like that. Wow. It was meant to be. Yeah. Then he runs 10th in the Derby and wins the Velma. That's incredible. That's incredible. Well, Jason, thank you so much. We appreciate it. It was great having you on. Yeah. Nat for life. I finally made it. Yeah. Finally made it. Yeah. Life complete. You made it before after you hit that home run off that random dude. Yeah.

in the instrumental. Did you pimp it? Did you pimp it? Did you stare him down? Not really. My best pimp job ever was off Carlos Mormal at Nats Park when he was later in his year because he would always pimp everybody with the Cubs when he was really good.

And I got him in a 300 home run, pimped the fuck out. It was my favorite pimp of my career. I didn't pimp much because that wasn't the thing back then. Yeah. No, I mean, the home run against Sanchez, I do watch it like once or twice a year just because it's so fucking awesome because you hit it so far. Oh, the rec league one? Yeah. Yeah, that was a good one. Yeah. That was a good one. All right. Thanks so much, Jason. All right, guys. Jason Wirth was brought to you by Chevy. As everyone knows, this is a Chevy truck podcast.

The greatest trucks ever built and our good friends at Chevrolet are a big part of the part of my take story. They have been for years. We drove across the country in a Chevy Silverado. We had four people in that truck, and it felt roomy. It felt comfortable. It was a great drive. No mechanical issues except for when Billy drove over a nail. I think he did that on purpose, but that's not Chevy's fault. The truck's awesome. We love Chevy. The Chevy Silverado has also sponsored Chevrolet.

the low man trophy for the last, I believe four or five years. They're a great partner. We awarded every single college football season to the nation's top collegiate fullback and Chevrolet and the Silverado have been a part of it all. So find out for yourself, like so many other AWLs, go to chevy.com and check out VW.

All the Chevy truck grit, and you can build your own Silverado. For do-it-yourself projects to road trips, off-road adventures to tailgates, whatever your thing is, it all starts with a Chevy truck. Xander was also brought to you by Pardon My Cheesesteak. We all know there's no better game day food than Pardon My Cheesesteak, and we've been hard at work in the kitchen ever since.

adding menu items throughout the summer to prepare for football season. We want to be ready for football season because that's cheesesteak season, baby. The latest launch that we have is a Buffalo Tender Loaded Fries.

It's got classic chicken strips that are fried, chopped, and then tossed in buffalo sauce. Then they get tossed onto fries with cheese sauce, topped with ranch dressing and chopped pickles. They are elite. They are amazing. We also just rolled out the Buffalo Tinder Sub. It's already super, super popular. And the fan favorite is still the Big Cat Combo where you get a cheesesteak, fries, and a drink. For dessert, try the new Donut Dippers.

Delicious donut holes that are tossed in cinnamon sugar and served with a rich caramel sauce and wash it all down with the Mac special, two sodas. Find a Part of My Cheesesteak near you or order yours now at partofmycheesesteak.com. Use code PMC20, get 20% off your order. And now here's Xander Shoffley. And now for something completely different.

Okay, we now welcome on recurring guests, friend of the program, now two-time major winner. It is the Open champion, Xander Shoffley. Xander, first of all, congrats. I mean, it's nuts that we're at two now, just like that. Got some questions about winning it, but I wanted to start real quick. We watched, obviously, the entire Open championship. We're bad golfers. We're regular golf fans.

Just how hard was that course, especially with the wind, like in regular golfer terms? Like how bad would we be on that course? Really bad. Okay, that's what I thought. Yeah, because it seemed miserable at times. Saturday was really bad. You know, with a little bit of wind and rain, it was –

It would have been a good day to watch golf on TV, no doubt. Yeah. Yeah. It's much more fun, I would imagine, seeing it on TV than being even a spectator at that golf tournament because you're dealing with the rain, the wind, the elements. The patrons of Royal Troon have a hard time, just like the golfers. Congratulations, like Big Cat said. Very happy for you. Got to know, your dad said he was going to drink wine out of the Claret jug. Did you get to drink something out of the jug before he did? Or did he just take it from you? He was like, let's fill this up with a Malbec. Yes.

- Red wine was the first thing poured into it. Yeah, and he immediately, I had to go do media after the ceremony on the green and as soon as we got in the car, he basically took the trophy off me.

And then they're like, you know, you should probably give it back to your kid for the rest of media run. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, but it, I mean, it was his first major because he obviously wasn't there for when you won your first. So, um, how, like, what was it like having him there? First of all, when we saw him, he, you didn't do him justice. He's a hoss. And I mean that in the best way possible, like an intimidating guy had the hat on was drinking out of a flask. But what was it like? Like what,

what was it like after the round and just like getting to actually celebrate it with him for the first time? It was, it was awesome. You know, the, uh, when I called him after Valhalla, how he looked on TV was exactly how he sounded on the phone after Valhalla. So if you want to just put those two together, he's a, he is an ugly crier, no doubt. And, uh,

It was awesome, though. You know, I had my whole family there. You know, my uncles, my agent, my wife was there. Just the people that have been with me for such a long time. And, you know, my dad is European and this is he is an American citizen now. But, you know, this is like the one he really wanted.

And, you know, I'm not picky, but for me to deliver this one to him in person is probably the coolest thing. And I don't know if I can top that. You know, the gold medal was up there, but this is, you know, right there with it. Yeah. I mean, it was it was it was an awesome Sunday to watch. You were so locked in. Did you at what hole? Maybe it was in the back nine. Maybe it was in the front nine. But I feel like it was the back nine. But what hole were you like? I'm here. I'm locked in. I'm winning this thing.

After I birdied 14, there was a huge board on 15. 15 is such a hard hole, but it was crazy left to right. I've hit that fairway every day. I was like, you just got to hit this fairway one more time, kid. I was like, just hit the fairway, and you're going to have a wedge or 9-iron or 8-iron in. After I hit that fairway, I was like,

like a little fist pump inside because I was like, okay, we're dancing. Like this is, you know, this is my tournament to lose. Like I only, I can mess this one up. So a little bit of added pressure in that moment, but yeah,

I felt like I really took control after I birdied 14. Yeah. Yeah. Did the thought of like a Vandervelde even enter your mind at any point? Because I feel like if I was winning at the Open Championship, I wouldn't be able to stop myself from thinking about it. I'd just be like, keep your shoes on. That's incredible. Luckily, there were no burns ripping through the rest of the property. So...

I took a really deep breath after I hit the 17th green. It's a very difficult hole. After I hit that green, I took a huge, huge breath because I knew I had at least a two-shot lead. I was expecting guys to birdie 16 behind me, but I knew that I was in a really good spot. And 18 is...

Iron, iron, you know, I hit three iron, eight iron, you know, so it wasn't, it's not to have a two or three shot lead going into 18 is a very nice thing to have because it is, you know, not the most intimidating tee shot with an iron. Yeah. Somewhat idiot proof at that point. I feel like in the open, the, the caddies do a lot of great work for the golfers, maybe more so than in some other tournaments, because you have to know as you're approaching each green, like you have to hit, you have to land some of your shots.

10 yards, 15 yards short of the green. Are they giving you specific spots? And like how much time did your caddy spend studying all the hills and all the slopes that are right at the front of that green?

Yeah. So, you know, Austin's my boy. He's been caddying for me since, you know, my dad caddied for me for a few events and he got canned. But Kais has been with me for ever since I've been playing and Korn Ferry up through the tour. And he's incredible. He does a really good job. And I definitely feel like he gives me that sort of edge or advantage that you were talking about on properties that, you know, aren't super known on tour. You know, whenever we play, you know,

us opens or opens or PGA. So there's these big championship style golf courses where more information, the better, especially if you haven't played it much. And, you know, guys, guys is he's good for walking, you know, I mean, he has that little, uh, Apple watch or whatever. And, you know, I, I think last year at the open, he, he locked like 30,000 steps one day. So the dude is just out there walking, trying to, like you said, figure out every little mogul, every little bounce where it can go, can't go all those types of things. And,

he's funny, you know, on 14, it was a really big moment. Cause I was kind of like, I might hit five iron and he was like, it's a six iron. And I was like,

okay, it's a six iron. I was like, this is aggressive. He's like, just hit it between the bunkers. I don't know if you guys remember that part. Yeah. Two coffins, like the flagstick and then two coffins in the green. And he's like, just hit it between the bunkers. And of course I was so locked in. I hit it in between the bunkers, like a really good iron shot in there to like, whatever, 12 feet. And I remember after I hit the shot, I looked at him. I was like, just hit it in between the bunkers. Yeah. Yeah.

Just hit it at, just hole out. Yeah. Just hit a good shot. That's all you gotta do. All right. So I'm fascinated. Obviously golf is so much mental and this year has been incredible for you with two majors and you were going into this year, uh,

one of the guys that was like hey can he win the big one because he's been so good but he hasn't won a major so after you win the first one you're winning the second one was it easier mentally did you feel like hey I've been here I know it the pressure isn't the same as it was during the first one and is it does it feel kind of like the the top is off now like this is the sky's the limit yeah I mean the expectations are gonna have to get reeled in here you know I don't think I would have won this one if I you know my head was you know through the roof for too long but

That's going to be something I need to work on just to, you know, set the bar right and then keep moving along like we've always been moving along. But yeah, I mean, totally different feelings for both. I was significantly more nervous at the PGA, just the back and forth holes playing a little bit easier. The style of golf was so different. And then, you know, everyone was so bunched up. Not that people weren't bunched up at this one, but yeah.

The back nine at this Troon golf course is so freaking hard. And if you hit good shots and you make birdies on these holes where no one else is making birdies, you will gain an advantage. And so to me, you know, I wouldn't have been as calm at Troon if it wasn't for Valhalla. But I was way more nervous at Valhalla than I was at Troon. So it's kind of funny how the two kind of paired up and how different they were. Yeah. All right. So I got a tip for you because if we're trying to stay humble, not, you know, go through the roof.

Have you thought about maybe changing the golf shoes? No offense to your golf shoes, but the all black shoes are tough because you kind of look like a server. Like you look like you're going to pass me some like bacon wrapped scallops. So maybe that's maybe we've got to work on that part of our game. That's the next step. That's humbling. Yeah.

They look like shit, dude. They look like shit. Come on. Let's get better shoes. I got nothing for you. Adidas is my shoe sponsor, and they wanted me to wear contrasting colors. Yeah, go white and then black stripes. That's easy. Okay. I can do that for you. You know what I mean? I figured I was sitting there, and I was spending such a long time getting ready before I went to the course. Yeah. Yeah.

You look slow. Yeah, yeah, right. You look slow. I want my golfers to look like athletes. Adidas makes great shoes. I don't give a shit what I look like. Well, all right. See, that's a problem. You're through the roof. We've got to humble you. I don't have to look at me when I'm playing.

Okay. Well, I'm just true. I'm telling you, I do have to look at my shoes. Yes. But if you, I do feel good. So as long as I feel good and then, you know, the shoes are the shoes. I wore those black shoes at the fricking PGA and one with them. Yeah. Had the same complaint. I'm just saying, if we're trying to work on our game, if we're trying to find different ways to get better, he said it like what white shoes look faster. Uh,

I think maybe go white with maybe blue stripes because Adidas makes great shoes, great sponsor, but we're just trying to get you better. You know what? Let me show you something. Better and faster are two things I'll definitely take. Yeah.

Maybe, I mean... Let me show you something. See these? These are black Adidas shoes. I like them. I can't see them. I don't... Hang on, hang on. Hold on, hold on. He's going to get them. He's flexible. Wait. Yep. Okay. I am not an athlete. I look slow as fuck. And short. And short. They make you look shorter. They make you look short. I'm actually six feet tall, but when I wear these, everyone's like, oh, PFT's 5'8".

Yeah, don't be afraid to, you know, let your body hit the sun every once in a while either. Okay, yeah, I'll check that out. That's good. Listen, I'm not... See, we can take it back. You know, better podcasting. I'm really tan and I've been podcasting my balls off. There you go. So who is the fastest golfer on tour? You guys ever race? Not me. The fastest would probably be...

Oh gosh, who hits really fast? There's a few guys. I mean, I can't think of anyone right now to be honest, but there's a few guys who just, I mean, Dustin was, he would hit so fast. Matt Jones, both two guys I went to live are like the fastest guys I've ever played with. There's a few, I'm trying to think of the guys that are unbelievably fast in our tour now. I'm not talking about club head speed or ball speed. I mean like fast, like because you look slow. Who's the fastest runner?

We play golf for a living, dude. We're like camels. We're like camels. We're just supposed to just flop around until we get to the finish line. We're not running out there. I bet Ricky's fast. He looks like his legs can move pretty quickly. Yeah. I think so. You know, my caddy's a little top-heavy, but he's pretty quick. He's got some quick legs. That's a good way to say it, top-heavy. Top-heavy. I call myself top-heavy. Did you ever talk with Scotty after? I know you're friends with him being like –

Listen, we didn't put an asterisk on your PGA championship, but some people did because Scotty got arrested. So were you like, hey, asterisk's off, I did it, and you didn't even get arrested this time? Yeah, actually, thanks for reminding me. I was meant to send a bottle of wine to that police officer who's about to have a fight.

I feel good. And now the asterisk is off of PGA Championship because if you had only won that one, we would have been like, yeah. Despite my slowness. Yes. Yep. And bad style. Lack of speed. Yep. Lack of speed.

I'm legit now. Yes. Yes. You got the stamp of approval. You actually can golf. You're a good golfer. I feel good. This has been really helpful for me, guys. Thank you. One can be a fluke. Anyone can win a major. I could win a major if I just played the best golf of my life. Especially when Scotty gets arrested. I could have won that. This was actually harder for you to beat Scotty because he was naturally driving on the wrong side of the road over there. So he probably felt very comfortable in Scotland. Yeah.

So I want to ask you about your good friend Patrick Cantlay. Do you guys just know going into every tournament at some point you'll be right next to each other on the leaderboard? It's always going to say at some point Shoffley, Cantlay, and then everyone's going to be like, okay. I used to think you were the same guy. Well, he's white. I'm tan. I mean, he could be whiter than you, to be honest. There's a chance. Unlikely. But, yeah, you guys just always kind of find your way together. Yeah.

Yeah, this is actually the first time we were paired together with Tiger Thursday, Friday and quite some time. And then we were paired together Saturday and like two or three days in a row we wore matching sweaters, which was not intentional. We got to the practice screen and we're like, God damn it. I mean, why not? We'll just shine together. Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, we'll work on the fashion part. All right, so I had one. I'll get you guys next time I'm going out to make sure I'm dialed. Yeah, we'll get you right. I had one last question, rowback question, rhoback.com, promo code TAKE, 20% off your first purchase, Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, great polos for the golf. So you're now about to play in the Olympics, right?

Yep. So how what what is Olympic golf compared to like playing in the majors? Like how what's the pressure like? Is it is it wildly different? Like how do you how do you approach Olympic golf? It's pretty different. I mean, you're you're essentially on a team kind of, but it's the same. I mean, I approach it the same way, to be honest. It's a 72 hole stroke play.

yeah and there's 60 guys and everyone's you know playing under the country and everyone wants to win and only you know i think the emphasis on second and third is a lot more than a normal tournament you know you podium versus if you you know don't do well and you come in second or third or if you're doing well and then you fail at the end you feel like a you know one of those and i think you know in the olympics

everyone's fighting to finish in the top three more so than any tournament, I'd say. Yeah. Have you thought about getting the Olympic rings tattooed on you? That's what all Olympians do. Yeah. Maybe I'll just do them in all black. Just look extra slow.

Listen, I feel like you might not like that we came at your shoes, but again, I think that you're going to have a lot of people walking around being like, Xander, you're the best. Xander, oh my God, two majors. Golfer of the year. Just remember, whenever you want to get humbled, you come back here and we'll find something to nitpick you. I don't think you guys have ever had a conversation with my dad, so he can humble you pretty quickly. Yeah, let's do it. Let's have a humble off. I'd love to have them on. It's really important to have haters. Yeah.

I'm going to think now that you guys are – I'm going to draw you two up as haters right now. Yeah. You know what? Bolton board. We like you so much that I'll gladly have you hate us. Yeah. Just because I want to see you succeed. I don't really hate anyone, to be honest. I'm not really – you know, I'm from San Diego. We're all just go with the chill vibes. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah.

or whatever color shoe you want to wear. It's not a big deal. Yeah. All right. We got to get you to hate us. We got to, we got to just bolt and board. I can do it. I, I, I'm very confident in my ability to piss you off. I hate you guys or not. I had one last question for you. What is the Shoffley way? Is that something my dad said? I, it probably is. It's, it's your training, especially your Olympic training.

What did he say? I don't even know. So I've got, I've got a note here. I'll read you what the note says. Cause this is what, this is what the tour is sending out about you. It says that you have learned discipline from your father and his Olympic training. They call it the Shoffley way. That's what he calls it. You know, it's probably, you know, it's kind of got like some kind of weird ring to it, I guess, but, or maybe the tour coined it that I'm not really sure, but the Shoffley way is just, my dad's half French, half German. So yeah,

Growing up, my mom is Taiwanese, grew up in Japan. So we have the axis. I'm the allies. My parents are the axis. We're on that side of the world. And discipline is something that I grew up with. So hard work. I always watch my parents. They're super disciplined. They're super hardworking. And maybe that's the Shofu way. I'm not really sure. But it has to be something along those lines of how they were sort of raised and their background.

Yeah. It's like, it's all tattooed in there. I like the Shoffley way. Shoffley way. I feel like your dad's sitting there watching you win majors and he's like, that's the Shoffley way. And you're in, in your head, you're like, I don't even know what the fuck he's talking about. This is the Shoffley way.

I love that. Yeah, look slower than you are. That way you'll surprise people. Yeah. Shoffley way. Shoffley way. Sneaky fast. Yeah, deceptively quick. Yeah, you are deceptively quick. You are slower than people think. Hmm.

To be fair, though, maybe I'll just keep wearing the black and white shoes because I am a slow learner. It took me how long to win two majors, you know what I'm saying? But the lid's off now. Actually, I did have one last thing. So when you win, this time it's a little bit different because you had to wait. It wasn't like, you know, you make your putt, tournament over, you're a major champion. Did you feel like you had to kind of tamper down your celebration because you had to wait for other people behind you to finish?

Yeah. I mean, you just never know when it's over and, you know, the last board I saw was on 15. So, but the way everyone was kind of behaving and I was like, you know, I, when I got up, I saw that I had a three shot lead when I was on the last hole. And it was like, you know, it was weird. I was walking with Austin and I was just, I was trying to take it all in. Cause that, that walk up 18 with the yellow leaderboards, you know, that is like, if you're a golfer, that's,

That's the sickest thing ever. I got chills when I was walking up to the green because everyone stands up and you take your hat off, you're appreciative of everything. I'm sitting there walking with one of my best buds and it was like,

This is pretty freaking cool. Like, this is sick. And then I was like, oh, shit, I still have to putt. Like, I can't yam this 18 footer, you know, four feet by and mess this up. So I quickly kind of locked back in. And like you said, I didn't want to let my mind wander too much. I was just, you know, it's done when it's done. And, you know, I'm a big believer in that. So, yeah, maybe, you know, I didn't really...

really feel the need to celebrate or anything. Cause I wasn't sure if I was going to win, you know, someone could make a hole in one on 17 and hole or hole out on 18 or something like that. So I just, I mean, how much of an ass would I look like if I was sitting there just like, you know,

over the top celebrating and then just get absolutely shafted in the end. But it is what it is. So the big moment of celebration comes when they take that last stroke where it's like, okay, they mathematically can't win now. Exactly. And then you let yourself go. Yeah. Once, you know, I think they had to hole out from the fairway on 18. And, you know, after they didn't hole out, it's statistically or mathematically impossible to tie. Yeah.

And then it was over. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, Xander, thank you so much. Have you thought maybe you're just never going to lose a major again? What happened to this whole humble thing that we're talking about? I'm just saying. I just started thinking, like, because that's how I think about everything. Like, whenever I play anything, I'm like, what if I just, like, if I'm playing beer pong, I'm like, what if I just never miss? Like, have you thought about that? Maybe you just will never lose it. You've already lost your last major.

That's crazy. Yeah, that's crazy. U.S. Open was the last major you'll ever lose. Whoa. What if you just retired right now? John Elway. That would be the hottest take on PMT ever right there. Yeah, yeah. Xander Shoffley has lost his last major ever. Oh, my gosh.

Not my words here. We're going to bet you accordingly. Yeah. So we will let you know if you do not live up to expectations. I'm going to see if I can parlay all four. This is what's great about the media. It's like we spend years saying, like, I don't know if Xander's ever going to win a big one. Then you win two. Who's your guy now? We talked about this.

We don't need to find that next guy yet. We don't have to talk about our guy or who might be our guy, Max. Because he's a good friend. After we spent all these years saying, like, you can't win a big one, now every time you don't win a major, we're going to be like, what a disappointment from this guy. Yeah. Like, he's off. He's overrated. You swing to overrated so quickly these days. Absolutely disgusting. He needs to change his shoes. Yeah. All right. Well, we did. I feel like we did a good job. We broke you down. We built you back up the Shoffley way.

That's good. All in 20 minutes. I'm refreshed. I'm ready to go. All right. Thanks so much, Xander. We appreciate it. We'll talk to you after you win the Masters. And the gold medal. And the gold medal, yeah. Okay. Got it. Everything. All right. See you, man. Congrats. Welcome back to another Fire Fest of the Week brought to you by our friends at Morgan & Morgan. You know what really sucks?

Not being around for Firefest of the Week. Maybe our favorite segment of the week. And not being here is a real bummer for everybody involved. But you know what doesn't suck? Calling Morgan & Morgan. They can help you get what you deserve. While they can't help your presence at work, your attitude at work, your haircut, what they can do is they can fight to get you full and fair compensation when you get injured. Their fee is free unless they win. For more information, go to ForThePeople.com slash PMT or dial pound law, pound 529 from your cell phone.

Okay, Fire Fest of the Week. Hank is not here. That's my Fire Fest. No, I have a real Fire Fest, but I miss Hank. I kind of miss Hank. Yeah, just whatever his face would be right now. I miss the idea of Hank. Yeah. I miss just having somebody I can get angry at. Hugh, you want to start? Sure. Because Hank's not here? Yeah. All right, give us your Fire Fest. So my Fire Fest is coaching softball, particularly me.

Yeah, I heard you were a really bad coach. Yeah. No, this was... I was a bad coach. The report I got was you guys asked Huey to coach because Pug has... Yeah, he needed... Pug is off the team. Yeah, he needed some time off. Because... He resigned. You guys... Well, he might be back in a remote role. You signed up for softball on nights that you have to work. I know. I don't... Yeah. Yeah. So, anyway, what I heard, and I would like to hear Huey's side, was...

Huey was made the coach and all he did was chirp and like be an asshole to his own team. Okay. Hand up. That was wrong. Wrong of me. Wrong of me to do everything I've done. I can make excuses, but none of them would surmount to anything excusable. But here I go. Okay.

I wasn't aware of what they were expecting of me. I didn't know, you know, I had to keep track of the outs.

And the score, those are two big ones that I was not aware of. I probably should have asked more questions before I accepted the job. And I think that's fair to say. And I just, you know, and then we went off against another team. They had uniforms, and they had drills in between each inning. And they had pregame drills. They at least had pregame drills. Are you serious?

You're not a baseball guy. Like, throwing it around the diamond is not a drill. Like, was the third baseman, was the first baseman throwing grounders to the shortstop in third base and then they were throwing it back to him?

Yeah, that sounds like it was. It's not really true. Max, what was Pug doing when he was the coach? Did he have you guys doing drills? No, Pug didn't have us doing drills. He made the lineup every day with a nice little graphic. He would do a little pregame speech. He would keep track of the stats, and then he would do a postgame speech after the game. That was basically all he did. He was a great vibes guy. Everyone turned to Pug when we needed something.

And then to Holes' credit, well, Huey, sorry, three hours before the game, somebody sent a text being like, Pug's in the lineup. And then I texted knowing Pug wasn't going and said the Pug's maybe dead. And then Huey got elevated to manager three hours before the game. Sounds like interim manager maybe? Yeah. Yeah. And he was a dick? Big dick.

Slight dick. Slight dick. Huey, I'm going to take your side a little bit because it seems like this might be a millennials problem and a Gen Z problem that they can't take hard coaching.

I just, I didn't, I wasn't told everything. If I knew how to keep track of stuff, I would have been on my game more. I also had three beers, perfect amount, but not for me. And it was the night that the episode dropped, the first episode. I was a little anxious. That's fair. I was like, all right, and then, you know, going to have some fun with the boys. And all of a sudden we're playing a team that had matching uniforms and drills. And it was alarming.

And I got called off guard, and I didn't keep track of what I should have been keeping track of, and then I got frustrated, and I let it out on everyone. And it's not fair to them. If you drink three beers, don't keep track of anything during the game, and then just yell at your teammates, I mean, Tony La Russa has made a great career with that. But did you notice what he said there when he said three beers? He said three beers, perfect amount, not for me.

Yeah. Yeah. So you overdid it? I should have known my own limits. Were you over-served by yourself? It's the perfect amount for someone else, but not for the person actually drinking them. Yeah. Live and learn, and I'll learn from that. Okay. I don't think I'll ever have a coaching opportunity again in my life. You're not night and cheer tonight? No. They shouldn't let me even allowed it near the stadium. Okay. So, yeah, they do play in a stadium. He's not coaching tonight, Max?

I don't make those decisions. That's Pug. Pug has been reinstated as remote coach. Oh, okay. So that's how bad he was. You'd rather have a coach who doesn't show up than Huey. Our team name is the Pugs. I think that's more of the case. You can't fill Pug's shoes. When you have a dog and your dog passes away, you don't get another dog immediately and then expect it to be just like the other dog.

You got to wait a little bit of time. I was a shelter dog. Yeah. My last owner beat me. Yeah. Who? I don't want to talk about it. Okay. Let's go to the analogy. All right. Well, you'll get better. Maybe you'll get another shot. Yeah. There's a Friday basketball game. Maybe I get a coaching job there. There's no coaching in that. Okay. You'll play in it. Yeah. So maybe it'll help the camaraderie. Somebody might let me win. We could use a coach.

Yeah, I guess we could. I just heard from Hank that he was like, yeah, he showed up to the game, we made him coach, and he just talked shit the entire time. Nobody knew who he was in there. Who is this kid? He was his first day on the job. He was just talking shit when I pop up right now. You should have gotten kicked out. You should have just...

Gave the umpire peace of mind. He was much bigger than me. And there was no way in hell I was going to challenge that man to anything. Hog energy. All right, PFT, your fire fest? My fire fest of the week is that I'm going on the road for a little bit. So we are going to Grit Week starting not next week, but the week after. Yeah, 10 days. So 10 days. But I'm doing... I think I'm doing...

seven cities in 14 days. Holy shit. Cause I got a wedding. Then I'm going to Austin for a little bit. Then I'm going to Columbus for pop punk. Then I'm going to Nashville for pop punk. Then I'm going straight from Nashville to,

Yeah. You can do laundry. Yeah. You're going to lose at least three things.

I know myself and there will be one item I will just completely forget to pack entirely Meaning like I might not pack socks I might forget entirely to pack underwear I might not pack shirts I've gone on a trip recently where I just didn't pack any shirts Maybe you should just not pack

And just buy stuff in every city? Yeah, live off the land. Live off the land? I could do that. What would I get into? We've done it for Grit Week. I might do that for Grit Week this year. Yeah. All new fits? Yeah. That actually would be fire. Yeah, I'll do it with you. We land at Grit Week and we go... We've done it before. Yeah. We need goodwill. I kind of like this. I do all new fits. I have this exact...

You and I have the exact same Fyre Fest, even though I don't have a Fyre Fest today. I haven't packed a single thing, and I'm going. You're going to Europe. I'm going to Europe tomorrow, and I'm going straight from Europe to Grit Week. I'm not stopping at only one. All new fits. Let's get new fits the second we arrive. Because I'll get your first fit, so when you show up,

Like, I'll go to, like, a PacSun or something. Yeah. And we'll get us fits. Do whatever you want. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually, we'll switch off days. I'll go day one, you go day two. I like that. We'll go back and forth. Makeover. Maybe, actually, yeah, everyone gets a day. Okay. So I'll start on the Sunday. I'll get the whole boys a fit. And then we'll go, yeah, we'll just do fits every single day. I like that. Pardon my makeover. Yeah. Sounds like a video. PFT, you can do Monday. And then, yeah, Max can be up. Hank can be up.

Huey maybe will do I don't know if that was I'm so glad that Huey's around because There's probably only one guy in this room That has a worse sense of style than I do Although the coat was great That was on my dad Yeah okay that's great Okay so that's how you turn a fire fest Into a fire F-I-R-E fest Now I'm excited about this Alright my fire fest It's a simple one I gotta pull up the text

my wife said to me, texting me, she was like, our daughter said, uh, poo is a bad word. And I was like, and, and my wife said back to her, like, it's not a bad word. It's a potty word. Yeah. Uh, and she told me that like she had said that and I was like, Oh, that's probably because I, I do swear around the kids. Like I'm, I'm bad with that. I talk how I talk. Um,

And I was like, she probably just thinks it's a bad word. She's not actually talking about actual like poop. And then when my wife tried to correct her, my daughter said, no, I'm talking about poops. The thing things daddy does for a really long time. That's good. So she was definitely talking about poops. And it's just like, yeah, she's like the thing daddy goes and does for a really long time. I've wondered that about people that have like three kids.

How do you shit? I don't. Because if you go shit, then there's only one parent and then there's three kids. Yeah, and they don't respect any type of like, I'll turn on the shower and hope that they know shower's on, they'll still walk in. Yeah. Parents just don't have time to shit. No, it's bad.

But she's just, it's, I actually kind of feel like this is like my first, like, I feel like a masculine dad because I feel like that's a very big dad move for all the kids in the house to be like, yeah, dad goes and takes long shits. Yeah. You should do that in front of your son. So then your son's like, my dad has bigger poops than your dad. Yeah. You can get one up on that guy. Yeah. Oh, they're rival. Big.

But that is like a real sense of being a man. Yeah. Being like, I'm going to the shitter. I'll be back in three hours. I mean, taking a shit is one of life's little pleasures where you get some time to think, scroll, whatever website you're scrolling, maybe play a game while you're on there. Hang out. No. Yeah. That's what guys do for meditation. Yeah. We just go take a shit. Yeah. I actually kind of want to put a couch in my bathroom. That'd be nice. Yeah. Just lay down for a little bit.

TV. Appreciate it. A bed. It wouldn't be bad. You could get a bed in there. A kitchen. A kitchen would be nice. An air fryer in the bathroom. Yeah. Have it all there in the bathroom. That would be nice. Yeah. My bathroom's a mess, too. It's just like, I don't know. How do you guys have the, just there's like splotches on the mirror all the time. I think it's just because I wash my face. When you wipe it off? Yeah, when you wipe the mirror off?

It's a problem. Yeah, and mirrors never get clean. No. No, it's a big time problem. Okay, let's finish off the show. Numbers, 28. 56. Max and I are dancing. Yeah, one time it's going to happen. Three. 77. Shane's in here. Shane, we talked about Jim Harbaugh's... Put on the headphones to Shane. Give the headphones to Shane. Shane, we talked about Jim Harbaugh's quote.

And I saw the new facility. It looks awesome. The Bolt. Yeah, it looks incredible. Yeah. Your number? 21. Pug? 99 Pug. What were your numbers, Huey and PFT? 77. I know your number means you've never gotten it. 90. 90. Sucks. Love you guys.

It's okay. It's okay.

Bye.