Ryen Russillo, Mt Rushmore Of Best Feelings, Hank Lit The Lighthouse And Preseason Hype
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On today's part in my take, we have our good friend Ryan Russillo.

Dressed ridiculously. Great time with him. We actually recorded it on his 49th birthday. So it was a great time with him. We have the Mount Rushmore of best feelings. We have six Mount Rushmores left. So it's coming down to it. We're going to talk some preseason. This is like the last week before football really starts. Not a ton going on, but we're going to talk some preseason. We're going to do who's back of the week. We also have to talk about Hank Alonso.

Lighting the lighthouse. Ringing the bell. Ringing the bell of the lighthouse. Keeping the lighthouse. Keeping the lighthouse. Great show. Great football teams are built by having the right capability in the right positions. It's the same with great trucks like Chevy Silverado. You start off under the hood with four powerful engine choices that deliver massive towing capacity.

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It's Hard My Take, presented by Barstool Sports.

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Lighthouse royalty the keeper of the light. We are with the keeper of the light slash Bell Henry Lockwood is back in studio Hank I don't know. Should we bow to you? What I mean? Are you a sir? Are you see? Yeah. Are you a knight? I'm a keeper. You're a keeper. You're officially a keeper I don't think a knight would light the light right? No. Well, he didn't you break the night either. Did he that's true? You kept the light. So where's the light? Do you have it right now? Yeah. Is it still on?

It is still on. Okay. I think you just keep it inside you. You have that light, this little light of yours. So tell everyone, because we talked about it briefly when we taped our Mount Rushmore on Wednesday that people were listening to, but we didn't get the full recap of you keeping the light slash ringing the bell and also maybe sprinkling a little Matthew Chudon.

Yeah, Matthew Judon, that happened the day after we recorded. He did get traded. I mean, he's a little bit older. He wasn't probably going to resign. Oh, this is good. You got your talking points. Yeah, it's good. If the Patriots have a top five pick, God knows how that would happen. Then they're going to have five draft picks in the top 150, I think. I thought you said that. And that's how you rebuild. I thought you said ongoing talks were productive and good.

I think, but they realize it's probably best for both parties to trade them. So it's good. Everybody's happy. Everyone's super happy. This is actually the best thing that's ever happened. Is the draft cutoff usually 150? Is that where we're at the top 150? I can't think of it. That's like halfway through the fourth round. No good players have ever been picked past 150, especially not with the Patriots. But five out of 150 is good. Yeah. This was a talking point. Did they give you a little sheet being like, here's how we're going to spin this? No, it was. People were obviously like, that was the day of. People were a little bummed out.

Uh, but no, it was an amazing experience. Got there early. We got to go on the field pregame, save one warm up. Uh, then they brought us. I, how long did it take to go from the field to the lighthouse? You had to go all the way up. Yeah. We went old school stair. No, I'm just kidding. Uh,

It was cool. They brought us up an elevator. It's really tall, so it took a while to get up the elevator. Yeah, but it was a really, really, really tall elevator because it's a really, really tall lighthouse. And they do have a little announcer thing, kind of like a tour guide, like you're in Disney World or a theme park or a virtual tour where they say, welcome to the largest lighthouse in the continental U.S., which is a nice touch. Because I looked on the website, and it's interesting because they have quotes around the word lighthouse.

But that was actually really nice because what he just said right there, it's basically Disney World. Yeah. It's like going to Vegas and seeing the Eiffel Tower. Yeah, it's like Space Mountain isn't really a mountain. Yeah, right. But people love Space Mountain. Right. And people love Vegas. Listen, we're not saying there's not love. It's just like it's more of an attraction than...

Yeah, it's a lighthouse simulator. Right. So, Hank, I got to ask you. It's a representation of the region. You went on a ride. I got to ask you, from the top of the lighthouse, you had a pretty good view. And I got to say, the double fist pump that you gave to the crowd was incredible. And it seemed like they were eating out of the palm of your hand. Oh, my God. It was like the parade all over again. Were you thinking at any point...

Because it felt like the fans wanted an encore of you ringing the bell. We can't unring the bell. Once you ring it once, it's kind of wrong. But if you notice, people weren't leaving. They were sitting there like, come on, we want more. Well, it was a beautiful moment. You guys obviously are making jokes, but it was... I said I got chills from it. It's a real sportsman.

There was basically a hurricane going on in Foxborough before we showed up. We're driving in. There's lightning. There's thunder. It's dark. You can barely see on the road. And as we're going up the lighthouse, the sun emerged from the clouds. The sun came out. The skies got bright. I said that already. Obviously, because of the rain, the fans hadn't got there yet because it was such bad weather. They were probably needing a light to guide them into the stadium. Preseason game. And it hadn't started yet. So, yeah.

They said, you know, you're going to ring the bell three times and turn around and face the crowd. And it was – I started laughing, I think. You couldn't really see my face. It was so funny. And I instinctively did this. Yeah. And I heard like – Let me hear it. I just saw seats and I heard like one, you know –

There was a rogue clapper. There was a lot of AWLs there, though. For the limited amount of people there, there was a good amount of AWLs. So thank you for shouting me out when you were there. The behind-the-scenes clip you posted on your Instagram was so funny because it was like ringing the bell and then kind of silence and then someone behind, maybe it was one of your friends, just started clapping and...

And it was kind of like a Jeb Bush please clap moment, where it was like, we got to do something here. Everybody wants to know, though, Hank, you get up to the top of the lighthouse, you look at, I'm sure you looked for a federally recognized body of water. Yep. Did you find one? No.

There was trees were in full bloom. Yeah. So I think the Neponson River was you could see through it a little bit, but it was pretty blocked by the trees. So you couldn't see it. Got it. Because I would imagine that if you had seen the river, you would have taken like nine pictures of the river and been like, look. It was also really still foggy from the sun came out. Yeah, but there was still some lingering fog. So you couldn't really see too, too far out because of the fog. So you could see the sun, though.

Yeah. But not the trees. But like seeing far enough, you know, there's so much fog. Sun's really far away. Yeah. Well, no, the sun was behind us. Did any boats crash in the stadium while you were up there? Nope. Nope. I kept it well. I kept it well. Did you get the vibe that maybe you're going to be invited back for a regular season game?

Yeah, I think that was a good first step. I know you could do it. Yeah, the Patriots were amazing. They rolled out the red carpet. I thanked them the next day. They said, you were a great keeper of the light. Okay.

One of the funnier moments was a very official woman came up with a very official big book. She's like, we need you to sign this. All the keepers of the light sign it. And it went through. There's only been 10, or I think I was the 10th. Oh. Tom Brady. Tom Brady was the first one. Kenny Chesney. James White. Oh, my God. A team that won the state championship. Yeah.

And then Henry Lockwood. And I was just laughing, thinking about two years from now, when there's actually a famous person who's not really familiar, obviously, and they're going through that list, and they're going to be like, oh yeah, and they're just going to flip through my name. Like, Henry Lockwood, and then... Did you write Make-A-Wish underneath it? No, there actually was another Make-A-Wish kid. Oh, okay. He was one of the ten. So when you say there was another Make-A-Wish, you're admitting that you were Make-A-Wish? Yeah, I mean, listen, it was a very cool moment. I didn't...

Summer Hay keeps going. It was surreal. Yeah, it was surreal. It was awesome. It was very surreal. I didn't feel like I necessarily deserted, but it was cool. They announced me. They said, you know, please welcome part of my take, Brady 4. Like, that was a very cool moment. And yeah, it was sick. It's your world. The pictures will last forever, and I think I did a good job. Oh, you crushed it. As things go along, like, they're obviously going to go through the roster of all the famous

you know, celebrity Patriot fans, but eventually they're going to have to go back to the well and they might just look through the book. Yeah. Who's number 10. Yeah. Let's bring him back. We know he can do the job. Yeah. It's, it's very good. Hank. It's a very, it's a prestigious honor. I'm looking through the list of people here that have been asked to keep the light. And it's like a general from the army. Dante Skarniecki was asked to do it. What is Kenny Chesney? What's his connection? Because I feel like Kenny Chesney is just the guy that they invite whenever they need a celebrity sports fan to show up, regardless of team.

He does Country Fest there every year. Like, he's a big, and I'm sure he's friends with the Kraus, but that's always like a big concert at Gillette, and I think he is a Patriots fan. They just didn't have, oh, he might have done it, he might have done it for. I think he did it second. He might have done it for Army Navy for game day. No, he was second. He was the second person up there. So it was Tom, he did it first on the 10th, then Kenny Chesney did it on the 17th. I feel like Kenny Chesney does three different college game days a year, too. Yeah. Did you guys win?

We did not win. They also, I will say, they said the person up top, the person who was, you know,

up there, they said Kenny Chesney was really nervous and I was less nervous than him. Wow. Oh, wow. You weren't even nervous. And another guy came up and said that was one of the hardest. As I was walking in, one of the others was like, don't ring it too hard. And I was like, that just means I'm going to go even harder. Yeah. He was basically daring you. So wait, the Eagles won? Eagles won. Eagles had a comeback victory. And I feel like Patriots fans, you're now experiencing phase two of Joe Milton.

Yeah. Was it phase two? It was a little bit of phase two. Hank doesn't remember. You don't remember. Were you drunk? No, he was living off the high of the lighthouse. Were you drunk when you rang that bell? Not when I rang the bell. Got it. I did celebrate with a couple of shandies after. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, Joe Milton, unfortunately. I mean, I'm still going to get excited about Joe Milton. Is he going to make the roster? Yeah. When he's good, he's great. You get more quarterbacks now. Okay. So great job, Hank.

Yeah, thank you. Preseason marches on. We also had Patrick Mahomes should be in jail for being witchcraft because the behind-the-back pass that he unveiled.

Just not fair. Yeah, I said that it should have been taunting running that play. Because Patrick Mahomes is now bored of football. He's so good at football that he can't play like a normal quarterback because it's too easy for him. So he just ups the difficulty level. Now he's throwing behind-the-back passes. And now teams have to game plan for it. You got to game plan for it. He gave a quote after the game was over. He said, long story short...

Long story short, Travis didn't run the route he was supposed to run. And then it was kind of behind the back pass because I was mad. I was pissed off at Travis.

So he ran the wrong route, and then Mahomes threw it behind the back just to kind of make it more difficult for him to catch the ball. Yeah. And it ended up being one of the best plays I've ever seen. It was so cool. It was so cool. He said, out of spite, I threw a behind-the-back pass. But now it's going to be a highlight. Yeah, now it's going to be a highlight. Now it's going to be something he'll do during game, and now teams have to plan for it. And yeah, he's reached a level of fuck-around with football that is –

Has never been seen before Yeah and then the camera pans To Carson Wentz On the sideline Just laughing and smiling He's on the Chiefs? He's on the Chiefs Oh Huey That's a big one There's a good chance That Carson Wentz Wins another Super Bowl Yeah Also Randy Gregory Not on the Bucs Was he ever a Buc? He was Uh

uh todd bulls said after they decided that they're going to cut him because he never showed up he said you can't miss what you never had yeah which is a great a great way to live life he doesn't know why he never showed up i think he just didn't want to do the conditioning maybe in which case respect to randy gregory i think that he'll probably just get added to the 49ers like halfway through the season and like damn look at the 49ers again yeah it's probably what's going to happen uh

PFT our quarterbacks still looking good yeah so we were at a wedding on Saturday night our good friend Mark Titus a good friend of the program got married and

And PFT was watching the game at the wedding because it's fucked up that he did that. What kind of an asshole gets married week two of the NFL preseason? At 6 p.m. when he knows that Jaden Daniels is going to be playing. Yeah, and I also got accused by my wife of peeking over at the game because I just, like a moth to the flame, PFT was sitting next to me and he just had the game up and I just kept on being like, oh, fuck.

football's on listen I'm gonna I'm gonna watch Jaden I'm gonna watch my new quarterback in the preseason I did a bad job watching him I was gonna watch and then when he was out of the game put the phone away whatever happens whatever don't care he looked good but then there was one point in the second quarter I had looked away from my phone for a while I was being social or whatever at a wedding I lame yeah big time man card move on my part I look back at the screen and I see the quarterback sprinting downfield running away from everybody like fuck yeah Jaden is so good Jaden is so good

and then he gets up and it was Jeff Driscoll. Big butt Jeff Driscoll. I guess we got two Jadens now. That's incredible. I feel like Jeff Driscoll is Sneaky Jaden. I also saw Jeff Driscoll, I believe, already has started his second career. I don't know why. I think someone showed that they were connected to him on LinkedIn, and he's already working in the greater Florida area.

Yeah, acquisition entrepreneur. NFL athlete, acquisition entrepreneur, SMB owner. SMB, yeah. It's just very funny that a guy who's playing in the NFL right now has a full LinkedIn. Yeah, the start of a new Driscoll year. Yeah. All right, and then my guy, Caleb Williams, made a throw that made me feel things. Yeah, he's good.

We got quarterback. He started the game slow, and the haters started piling on, and I was like, listen, it's good that I haven't overreacted to any preseason games or plays or throws, and then he dropped that rollout to Roma Dunze, and I lost my mind, and...

Went back to telling the haters to suck my dick from the back. Yeah, he was pretty good. He was really, really good. I'm just very excited for week one, and I'm very excited to just get on the roller coaster and just have a fucking great-ass time. Yeah, I am starting to get nervous every time Jaden runs with the ball, though.

Because he doesn't slide. We saw that at LSU when he gets hit. It is funny watching that compilation of Jaden Daniels getting hit in college. With like the Bugs Bunny music? Yeah, because it does look like Looney Tunes when he's playing. I would prefer for him to slide, and at one point he didn't slide. And then Dan Quinn. Dan Quinn's hats have gotten more backwards.

Since he became a head coach He's gone further backwards They're further backwards I didn't know that was possible But he's on the sidelines With his backwards hat Like jawing at Jaden After the play I'm like Dan Quinn's right Listen to Dan Quinn You're gonna get hurt Jaden Yeah So I've

I do have that history with quarterbacks where you get a really good mobile quarterback that can run. He's electric. And I just hope to God that we've done something different with the field. Because I don't think the Bears did anything different with their field. Oh, so bad. Before the game, they had the seams. Metallica, yeah. Metallica did it. Metallica did it. This is like every time I had a step forward and like, man, Ryan Poles has put us through.

a great team together caleb williams looks like the real guy and then you just get brought back down to reality where it's like there's just reports that ryan poles is walking the field looking at pointing out all the seams being like this is not safe to play on because we're not a real franchise yeah metallica concert one week before the game yeah that's tough yep and they obviously the bears don't own soldier field so they don't get to decide what goes on there um but yeah it's uh

I just want the season to start. I know that we've talked privately, PFT, that we've probably gotten ahead of ourselves. But it's okay. Are you getting ahead of yourself with Drake May? No, I'm patient. Okay, because I got ahead of myself today. We're just giving fodder to the haters who are just going to clip all of these and put up a compilation. I was in the car with my kids, and I was just thinking, like, what if Cale Williams is awesome for, like, the next 15 years, and my kids, like, go to college, and Cale Williams is still...

The Bears quarterback. Yeah, it could be. What if? What if they're like literally starting college and they're like, yeah, I just grew up with Cale Williams. It's more going to be like you saying that than you saying that like three years ago. What do you mean? What? Like I feel like you said that exact same thing about Justin Fields. Okay, well, you know what? We were...

I'm saying, like, you're talking about the compilation. You rang a fucking bell, dude. It wasn't even a lighthouse. Also, Caleb's different. I can admit that, watching Caleb. My biggest fear... And I've talked to Big Cat about this offline, but we might as well share it online. Yeah. My biggest fear now is that Jaden Daniels is going to be so goddamn good and that Caleb... Or Jaden Daniels is going to be awesome. Like, I'm talking Joe Burrow. I'm talking Josh Allen. Yeah.

And then Caleb Williams is going to be Patrick. We've already gotten to that. And then, and then I'm going to be like this motherfucker and I'm not going to be happy with being so great. So like it's, I've really talked myself into a corner here where like, I need Jade. I need Jaden to be great more than anything I've ever needed in my entire life. Yeah. Yeah. PFT did say that. And I was just like, well, that's, we're really getting ahead of ourselves. Yeah. We've got Jaden is Josh Allen and, and Caleb Williams. Minimum minimum Josh Allen.

Hank, just get in with us. Yeah, you guys are in win-now mode. We're not. We're in load-up mode. Load-up. Top 150 picks. Let Jacoby play. Whatever happens, happens. Drake May is more like an Aaron Rodgers. He's going to be great, but he's got to give him some time. So one Super Bowl in 15 years? Yeah, a couple MVPs. Oh, that's what you care about now? You need him to be great. No, I'm saying Aaron Rodgers, I'll take that as my QB all day. He won one Super Bowl. Kind of a bust. Thank you.

You need this financially. I actually don't. Oh, I guess I do. Yeah. Yeah. But you do need it. Well, you actually don't. That's the thing is Hank could miss on the next like four quarterbacks and still be fine. Yeah. We're at a point where it's like this, you know, both what we've been through and also our own age in mortality. Yeah. It's like you got to do it soon. Like this is kind of our last bite at the apple here.

Because who gives a shit if the Commanders win three Super Bowls in my late 50s, early 60s? These are my prime years for enjoying that sort of thing. Right. We need it now. Right now. I hope it happens. We're basically just two chicks with our biological clocks just fucking screaming at us. You won't be able to enjoy Super Bowls in 10 years from now. You'll be menopausal. I'm going through menopause right now. Yeah, we can't have that.

We're going to gain weight. And the shitty thing is the Patriots could stink. The Celtics could self-destruct. And then obviously the Red Sox would become great again. Hank just doesn't go through drought. Yeah, he's just fine with it. Always wet. Any other notes from the booth for preseason coverage?

week two or three. If you played in the hall of fame game, don't care about preseason. Okay. All right. That also makes us feel bad. Max. I know, I know how much of a loser I am to be this excited about Caleb Williams rollout past the Roma dunes, a, which was incredible. Uh,

But I don't care. I don't care that I know I'm this much. I mean, no, that pass was sick. That pass was so sick. That pass was so sick. There is a debate. We can embrace debate real quick. Are you talking about the test? I'm talking about, no, I'm talking about the Olympics in 2028. Oh. Flag football. Okay, wait, before we do that, I wanted to hear your guys' thoughts on a test that has been brought up. This has to do with...

preseason week three or two. I wanted to know what you guys thought because this was a debate in my world. Did you see Simone Biles was at the game? Her husband, Jonathan Owens, plays on the Bears. I saw she was wearing a Packers jacket. She was wearing a Jonathan Owens jacket who happened to play for the Packers last year. What color was the jacket? It was actually like black and white. Okay. So, there was... Well, he played for the Packers, so his...

It was a Jonathan Owens jacket, and he happened to play for the Packers. There's a Jonathan Owens logo on it. I think, personally, just as J.O., this is a test by Simone Biles. Simone Biles is actually doing a great job. She's seeing, hey, you guys got to start thinking about winning. You can't be worried about jackets. I'm going to go out on this field with a jacket and see if you guys can keep your composure.

It's all about the name on the back of the jacket, not the name on the front of the jacket. She should update her jacket. She has been a little busy. She had a walking boot on. Do you think that I should have been upset? Yeah, I think you probably should have. Okay. If it had the Green Bay Packers logo on it.

Well, it was a Jonathan Owens jacket who happened to play for the Packers. And it had the Green Bay Packers logo on it. It didn't really. It kind of was just the helmets that he wore. It wasn't like a Kristen Juszczyk jacket. Oh, there was multiple helmets on there? Well, it was just like a collage of him. Let me look this up. It was him. It was a him collage? He happened to play for the Packers last year. Again, I think this was a test.

And I will not fail this test. I will not break me. I will not let it break the Bears fan base. I will not let us have, we're about to enter the golden age, and we can't have a jacket bring us down. Okay, I'm looking at this right now. So good test, Simone. I like what you did. I think we passed the test. There's a lot of Packers logos on here. Well, he played for the Packers. Jonathan Owens, he happened to play for the Packers. If he went overseas while she was competing and he was wearing like a France jacket,

Well, she never played for France, so that doesn't make sense. But she was playing in France. In France, but she never played for France. One of those games could have been in Chicago. If it was a jacket with pictures of Simone Biles in front of the Eiffel Tower. That doesn't really make sense. That doesn't really make sense. Look, she's got to update her wardrobe. Again, great test, Simone.

She's a nine-time AWL. Someone actually pointed that out. One of these just has a giant Green Bay Packers logo. It could be the back of his shirt. It's just a big Green Bay Packers logo. It could be the back of his shirt. Someone did point out that it was actually Huey's fault.

Because he didn't do... Simone Biles, nine-time AWL, huge fan of the show. Huey didn't do, when we did Faces in New Places, he didn't do Jonathan Owens, so she might have not known that he was on the Bears. Got it. So Huey, bad job by you, dude. There's a 50% chance she doesn't even know that these two teams have a rivalry. Oh, why do you say that? I mean, she's just... No, she lived it. She was...

Jonathan Owens was on the Packers, happened to be on the Packers last year. How much are they talking about football? She went to a lot of games. I think she just was busy winning gold medals for the U.S. and being an Olympic hero, and she hasn't been able to update her wardrobe. Again, it's preseason. A jacket shouldn't divide us in preseason. There's also a very good chance she had the twisties again, and she didn't know where she was. She might have gotten lost, and she thought she was in Green Bay. Week one, I would have been upset.

It's preseason for jackets, too. That's true. I mean, that's a fact. You got to work out all these things. We always talk about quarterbacks working out different facial hair and weird shit. Patrick Mahomes throwing behind the backs. This is preseason. Max said it perfectly. Who cares? This is like a Daniel Jones pick six of a jacket.

And he learned. It was a classic Daniel Jones. You know what? I don't know what was going through your head then. I was just thinking so badly that I wish it was regular season. Because I would have been able to. Because that was preseason. We talked about it before. You basically judge preseason. If your team, if your players do well, you're like, preseason matters. If your team does bad, you just ignore it. And you also kind of can't go at other teams for preseason. So it's like, Daniel Jones threw that pick six and I wanted to make fun of it. But...

it's preseason. It's preseason. What went through my head was the interview that we had with somebody that wanted to be the intern on part of my take. And he's, he was a giants fan. He's like, it's going to be great. Daniel Jones is going to be doing Daniel Jones things. That's right. And then me and big cat stopped and we're like, wait, were you saying Daniel Jones things are good things or bad things? Yeah. And he was like, that's good. Daniel Jones doing Daniel Jones things. That's a good thing. This was a Daniel Jones thing. Yeah. This was like the quintessential Daniel Jones thing. Big time, big time. Uh,

All right, so I'm happy that we all agree that Simone Biles was just testing and a good test. Yeah, I think she just got lost in the air. Yeah. He just happened to be, it wasn't a Packers jacket. It was a Jonathan Owens jacket who happened to play for the Packers. Very big difference. So like if a cop, let's say this was like a crime scene and that's the jacket that they found in the crime scene, they would say, we have a Jonathan Owens jacket here. Yes. They'd be like, oh wow, look at this Jonathan Owens jacket. Simone Biles must have been here.

It's got to be the only Jonathan Owens jacket in the world. Did it have his name on it? Yeah, it was all over it. Well, his name, because there were pictures of him as a Green Bay Packer where it said Owens. He happened to play for the Packers. There was a giant just Green Bay Packers logo on it. It's merely a coincidence. She'll get it straightened out for week one. I guarantee that she doesn't show up with that jacket week one. And if she does, jail. Walking boot for her other foot.

Do you guys want to embrace debate? Yeah, let's do it. Okay, embrace debate. There's a hot new debate out there because flag football is going to be in the Olympics in 2028. Yep. And we've heard from several NFL players saying that they want to represent the United States in that event. Like Joe Burrow said it in part of my take, I think Tyreek Hill has said that he wants to be on that team. One person that's not taking too kindly to this is the quarterback, the current quarterback of the U.S. flag football team. His name is Daryl Hoosh.

Doucette. Who? Hoosh is 5'7". Uh-oh. Immediately. Wait, so a 5'7 man is upset? A 5'7 man is upset. We got to sound the alarm. Yes. It's not good for history. He's very mad. He said, I think it's disrespectful that they just automatically assume that they're able to just join the Olympic team because of the person that they are. They didn't help grow this game to get to the Olympics. Give the guys who helped this game get to where it's at their respect.

So he thinks that if Joe Burrow wanted to step in, he's not going to be good enough at playing flag football because he's too used to playing real football. So, okay. Hmm.

So all he wants is respect. He wants respect. So respect. Respect. Also, the backup quarterback. Now Patrick Wilhelms and Josh Allen play quarterback. The backup quarterback is the most popular person in town. You just might be getting more popular. This guy, I feel like he timed this incorrectly. I know that it was right after the Olympics. He had to wait until like...

Like, when they're deciding the team to start saying this stuff. And there are probably some rules that are different about flag football from the NFL that you can exploit if you know the game better. Yeah, you can't tackle. But I'm saying if you probably gave... Manuel Moore might be really good at flag football. Yes. But if you gave the good NFL players, like, I'm going to say two weeks to practice flag football... I would...

Two hours? Two hours to practice flag football. They'd probably pick it up. An hour? I think if you took the worst NFL team and then made them the flag football team, they would probably win the gold. An hour? Yeah. I don't... Again, I think he mistimed this because now U.S. flag football is going to be like, we got to get this guy to stop talking. It all came from your boy Jalen Hurts because your boy Jalen Hurts put out a video where he had a football that was on fire and he's like, we're bringing football to the Olympics. Yeah.

Insinuating that he would want to be the quarterback of the Olympics I agree that Jalen Hurts should not be the quarterback No You can't do the tush push in the Olympics No Jalen Hurts should not be on court No no you guys are a part of the media that just hates Jalen Hurts No I don't Actually He hasn't thrown enough interceptions to be good at flag football Max Maybe PFT maybe he should be because he's so good at 7 on 7 That's true In practice Yeah that's true Flag football is essentially 7 on 7 In practice So Enjoy your preseason buddies

We will. I'm so excited for football. There's a chance. There's a chance that how the Eagles finished last year is how they start this year, buddy. So you want them to lose to the Packers week one? Okay, you got me there. Yeah. God damn it. We're going to stream that game. I'm going to bet a house on the Eagles. What's the line in that game?

Fuck, he got me there. I would like the Eagles to start fast. I can't wait for the regular season. I can't wait to play you twice, Max. Yeah, we're going to do that. That's a Thursday night rivalry game. I cannot wait, buddy. You don't mean that. I do mean it. I'm very dumb. Right now, he means it.

It's the revenge for little you small. Yeah, it's revenge. Also, I know that our cornerback's name is Emmanuel Forbes, not Emmanuel Moore. That's okay. I knew that. But Emmanuel Forbes would be excellent at flag football. Eagles minus two. Love it. Hammer them. Minus two? Hammer them. I'm going to take the alternate line. Yeah, I'm going to take Eagles minus 100. I think they got the number right wrong team. Oh, you're going to take the Packers? No, Commanders minus two. Oh, no, we're talking about Eagles Packers. What? I don't know.

I'm saying I can't wait to play you. Oh, yeah, that'll be an interesting game. Is it true that you're not allowed to wear green in Brazil because it's a... I think that was an internet thing. It's a gang thing? That wasn't true. Okay. I think that was the internet thing. The internet got us. Jalen Hurts does have a Brazilian ass. That's true. He's got a big old... And Saquon. And Saquon. Wow, you're bringing the asses. You guys might have the all-ass team. They should actually see. We should put out a team Brazil at halftime to see. Yeah. Just to see.

Just to see if they could compete with the Eagles in the all-ass department. They might be able to. I would like to see. Yeah, I want to know. I'd like to at least... I mean, competition is the best. Hank, you would be the least popular person in Brazil. I get arrested. Hank, you should... What does this man have in his pants? Nothing. If you want to be able to dunk, you should go to this game, get a BBL, and then fly back, and you'd be the total package. A jet propulsion BBL? Yeah. Yeah.

Do they have those? No. They do not have jets you can put on your ass. Hank with a big ass would be fire, though. Yeah, it would. Working on it? It would be fire. He'd be looking right. Yeah, hell yeah.

with a huge ass uh okay anything else before we do who's back in the week i think that's it uh gardener minshu is the quarterback oh yeah raiders gardener minshu congrats to gardener i think he's the perfect raiders quarterback yeah like if you want to get back to old school raiders football just have a guy with a mustache that doesn't give a fuck he's gonna ball out he's gonna win some games that you won't think he's gonna win yeah he's gonna give it his best and it's gonna be fun to watch yep the mma event of the year battle of the giants is coming up fast

Lineal heavyweight world champion Francis Ngannou makes his return to the cage versus Hanan Ferreira. Women's MMA GOAT Chris Cyborg takes on 2023 PFL champ Larissa Pacheco.

Johnny Ebelin goes toe-to-toe with Fabian Edwards with the Bellator middleweight title on the line. Battle of the Giants and Ganu vs. Fajera goes down Saturday, October 19th at 4 p.m. Eastern Time on ESPN Plus Pay-Per-View. We are also brought to you by our friends at Viator. Viator is a tool you can use to plan and book travel experiences around the world.

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Yeah, I'm actually using it this weekend. My parents are coming. We plan to fund activity. Use Viator. It's super, super easy. All right. Beautiful. So Viator 10. That's V-I-A-T-O-R 10 for 10% off your first booking in the app, Hank.

If Hank can do it, you can do it. Who's back of the week, Hank? My who's back of the week is Connor Stallions. Oh, yeah. I heard about this. He was hired as a defensive coordinator at Mumford High School, which maybe Huey knows a little more about. It's Detroit High School. But he's back. That's awesome. That's kind of like a promotion, too. Yeah. From assistant to D coordinator. I mean, he won a championship in college. But he didn't have a job.

That's true. On the books. He did get a job. He got a job. Yeah. Out of all of us. What do you think that interview process was like?

I'm going to make sure we're the most prepared team in the state. I'll cheat. I would trust Connor Stallions with just about any job, actually. And you've got to assume that the president, whoever AD is hiring, is like the biggest Michigan fan of all time. Yeah, this bums me out a little bit because there was a moment in time last year where I really did think we were going to hire him at Barstool. And the way Dave was talking about his conversations with Connor Stallions, like,

I thought we were going to just give him an office upstairs, black out the glass, and just be like, we don't know what he does, and just have him just hand us reports every now and then about the competition. And just no one ever gets to talk to him, and we don't know what he does, but just let him do what he does. Like the Ernie Adams bar story? It would have been great. I'm kind of bummed out that we don't have him on staff. I mean, I honestly think that this guy could be a weapon in the gambling space. Yeah.

Like, have him do one pick a week. Go out, scout whatever you want to scout. Unlimited budget. He's a one-man CIA. Conor Stallion's pick of the week would have been there. Yeah. Damn. All right, maybe, so we got to root against him. Maybe he'll come here. I can't root against Conor Stallion. No, I like him. Conor Stallion's one of the best stories ever. Does he have another manifesto?

I'm sure he'll get one. I'm sure he came prepared to the interview with him. His cover letter was just a manifesto. It was in, like, magazine letters that had been cut out. Yeah. He didn't show up with, like, a couple pages stapled together like other people. Yeah, he had a full plan. Yeah. Good who's back what? Hank, you didn't want to say that your boy is back? Oh, Yabu. Yeah. Yabu got signed. I'm happy for him. Were you not going to mention that story? No. You were so excited to see him back in the league. Where did he sign?

For now, he's on the Sixers. For now? What do you mean for now? That is how contracts work. He is right. Everyone signs a finite amount of time for their contract. So yes, for now, he is on the Sixers. You think him and Embiid are going to get along well? Of course. Okay. I mean, he's got all the confidence after dunking on LeBron. Are you a little scared that this might be the championship piece?

No, I mean, it's not going to be the championship piece, but it's a great addition for the Sixers. You love Yabu. I love him. Right. So... I'm happy for him. I wanted him back in the NBA.

We needed a power forward. I'm happy that we got him. But when I saw the news, the only thing I cared about was what Hank was thinking. Yeah, and he's upset. Because we watched the French USA game, and every time Yabu touched the ball, he was a Frenchman. You love him so much, and now he's my guy. For now.

For now. You wanted LeBron. He's mad, Max, because he's not giving any eye contact towards your direction. Yeah, I know. I was so happy. I was so happy. Good call, Max. You should get a jersey, Max. Maybe put it up in the booth. I should. I should get a jersey. Yeah, you should get a jersey. Sixers legend. No one even knows what other jerseys he played for in the NBA. Actually, you should get a jacket. A Jonathan Owens-type jacket. But it's Sixers. No, I don't think I would. Well, I would get it.

Sixers-wise. Yeah, no, Sixers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right. Yeah. Yabu. Yeah. Get a whole jacket of him in Sixers gear. Yeah, never forget, I sold, Pickett, I used to sell Yabo shirts. I sold Yabu shirts. Yeah. How many? I sold two. Oh. Maybe that's a shirt design for you, though, Max. Yeah, we could repurpose that. Yeah, no, I would love to. Hank would probably buy one. What was his career like on the Celtics, Hank?

He was a backup, but he was an electric personality. He was a great bench guy. He was a great player. Do you guys still have B-Ball Paul? No, we got everyone. That's kind of a perfect B-Ball Paul replacement. Where's B-Ball Paul? I think he's Pistons. Oh, okay. I think he's added. I think he's gotten a little bit better. He was the definition of just like he was a, he just banged boards and couldn't shoot. Just athlete. Or no finesse. Yeah, yeah.

Okay. Good who's back. Good second who's back, Hank. Thank you, Max. Good producing, Max. PFT. My who's back of the week is Camping.

Oh. Because the boys are going camping this week. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we are. Yeah, we're going camping. I think we're leaving Monday night, and we're getting back Thursday, right? And we're in an undisclosed location somewhere in Wisconsin, and we're doing summer camp. So we're going to be competing in games. I don't really know what the events are going to be. I know we're going to be sleeping in cabins. On a lake. On a lake. Fires at night. Yeah, so the next two shows you're going to see is us from...

camp is there like a canadian camp that's across the lake that we can start a rivalry with go steal their shit maybe across the lake or yeah i guess yeah probably not but yeah we could try i would like to start a camp rivalry yeah uh but yeah how many people from barcelona are going like it's

60? What? 50? I mean... There's like 20 competing. It's a lot. The boys will be there, Taylor and Will. Very excited about that. I think we might get a sober Will on the podcast maybe Friday. Just to make sure everybody knows that he's not, in fact, constantly drunk. We should actually get him... Just JJ check in. We should get him hammered before...

Yeah. There are some people that have been internally like, I don't understand necessarily what they're scared of, but they're like, what do we need to know about camp? Shane asked if there was going to be plumbing there. Beam's mom texted saying, make sure you bring earplugs in case people snore. People will snore for sure. Even just people. Some people were like, we're sleeping in cabins. They're like, what? The most concerning part to me was the waiver that they had to sign. Oh, I didn't sign it. So I didn't sign it either. It's a death waiver. Did I sign it?

I think somebody might have forged your and my signature, which is good because... Right, so it's on record that if we die, we can sue. I want to retain my right to sue Hank for anything that happens because on this waiver, it says you may encounter dangerous insects. You may encounter dangerous weather. You may encounter dangerous bodies of water. How is the weather looking? I haven't looked. But the insects part really freaked me out.

I'm excited. It's going to be great. So we're going to be live streaming after the Yak on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday.

Thursday will actually be a taped finale, but Tuesday and Wednesday will be live. And so tune in. It's going to be great. We're going to be competing. I think it's going to be... I think we're drafting teams, PFT, me versus you. All right. So... Like salute your shorts. Yeah, it's going to be a lot of fun. It's good team bonding right before the football season. I'm very excited. Might be like remember the Titans. Yeah, so when you see the... If you watch us, instead of listening to us, you'll see us in a cabin on...

Tuesday or Wednesday show and Friday show. It's going to be like training camp. Yeah, kind of. We should do a hard knocks for this. We are going to play a softball game on Tuesday night to see who gets... The winner of the team is going to get steak and lobster and the loser is going to get a pack of hot dogs that they have to cook in a fire. I'm okay with either one. Yeah. But it's just a little competition. Yeah. Competition, you know, gets everyone going. So yeah, it's going to be fun. I'm excited. All right, my Who's Back of the Week is...

Wait, can we watch Hard Knocks? Yes. Okay. We'll find out a way. My Who's Back of the Week is memes and the Buster's guy, because I think memes found the Buster's guy. You found the Buster's guy? We might have. So this comes from at wownicebuttdude. He said, my friend just revealed to me that he has 1.4 million points at Dave and Buster's.

He showed me the menu and said, get anything you want. The most expensive meal is 2,200 points. Fuck yeah. So that might be the Buster's guy. That's actually, you can retire right now if you're the Buster's guy. 1.4 million points. Yeah. What is that? All right, I'm going to do the math real quick. But yeah. You don't have to work anymore. You can just go live in a Dave and Buster's for the rest of your life. Pretty much. This guy rules. So 2,200 points for the most expensive meal. 636 meals.

If you got the most expensive meal every time. Yeah, you could live in there for five years. So yeah, he's got free food for an entire year if he wants. If you're doing like the filet every night. Yeah, yeah. I mean, this guy rules. And also, if this guy's at a Dave & Buster's eating every meal, he's going to be playing games and getting more points at Dave & Buster's.

Like, five years is probably too little time. He could probably do 10 or 15 years. Yeah. With all the points he'll be accumulating as he eats. Yeah. This guy rules. I want to meet him. Hopefully he is the Buster's guy, the actual Buster's guy. All right, Huey.

finish this off before we get to our interview with Rosillo. My, who's back. John Madden. Yes. Not only in a football video games, but, uh, Nicholas cage will be, uh, depicting the, uh, depicting him, depicting him. Yeah. Uh, uh, betraying him. Uh,

Portraying him. Portraying him. Yep. In a movie, a biopic, directed by David O. Russell, same guy who did Silver Linings Playbook and The Fighter, a couple other things like that. He's the guy who screams at everyone. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But Nicolas Cage, he kind of, I saw a couple pictures of him recently, kind of, I could see a little Madden in him. Yeah, his face started to sink a little bit. I'm looking forward to hearing him say boom. I think he's going to give a great boom as John Madden. Yeah. Yeah. I'm excited for this. It's going to be awesome.

Yeah. This is, I mean, John Madden is a national treasure. And Nick Cage is the perfect guy. Yeah. You're basically putting two of my favorite things together, Nick Cage and John Madden. I need a graphic of Nick Cage's depicting crossed out, betraying crossed out, portraying John Madden. Oh, I can't wait to hear Nick Cage describing a turducken. Yes. He's got to go method for this, right?

I hope they just show the making of the I also hope they make it like very like I could see them trying to find like a dark angle. Yeah, I hope they don't do that. I hope. Yeah. Let's keep it light. Keep it like fun. I hope he's in character as John Madden. I hope that he's up in the booth actually calling games this season as John Madden. Oh, that'd be cool.

That would be cool. Like when they had Jake Gyllenhaal film roadhouse scenes at a UFC fight. Yeah. They actually have Nicolas Cage call at halftime. Yeah, have him up there. Hell, he could just be in the booth by himself or with whoever's playing Pat Summerall and just have him calling the game to nobody. I just want to see him as John Madden up in the booth. He's got to be there on Thanksgiving. Pat Summerall. Jimmy Fallon. Who's out? James Corden. James Corden.

Wait, he's like gone, right? Is he? I don't know. I think he stopped his show. Oh, good. Everyone's like, we've had enough of this fat British guy. Yeah, I think we all agreed to stop playing the prank on James Corden that we thought he was good. Yeah, right. Like, we won a war, so we don't have to do this. Yeah. Okay, good who's back. What? Who's the guy on NFL Fox? NFL Fox? Tom Brady. No, the old guy.

Greg Olson. From the Steelers. Terry Bradshaw. Yeah, maybe Terry Bradshaw. Playing Pat Summerall? Yeah. I don't hate it. Okay, yeah. You don't even have to get him drunk. Yeah. Yeah, just let him be. Okay, let's get to our interview with Ryan Rosillo. Before we do that, PFT, you got a couple... And we're going to do the Mount Rushmore best feelings after that. Yeah, before we get into Rosillo, he's brought to you by our great friends at Coors Light.

I love Coors Light. The mountains are blue. Coors Light is the absolute best beer in the world. It's great during the summer. It's great during football season. It's great if you're sneaking out to a baseball game in the middle of the day. Grab an ice cold Coors Light and follow the

the Blue Mountains to happiness. It's chill. Time to choose chill. Go to CoorsLight.com slash take. CoorsLight.com slash take. It's the best time of year to have a Coors Light. I had a couple Coors Lights on Saturday night at the wedding. We were drinking beers. The mountains were blue. It's great for a wedding season. Love Coors Light and people sent us some cooler pictures and Blue Mountain pictures this weekend. Absolutely love those. Check it out. CoorsLight.com slash take. CoorsLight.com slash take. And now, here is Ryan Rosilla.

Okay, we now welcome on very special guest, one of our best friends in the whole world. Birthday boy. Birthday boy. It is Ryan Russillo. Thanks, boys. You look great. Why'd you wear that? Well, it's a combination of things. You know how you want to reinvent yourself?

Every seven years. Van Pelt told me that one time. Yeah? Like Madonna. Right. Every seven years? Every seven years. I actually saw something recently. I'm really into earnest answers on Twitter lately. Okay. And there was this interview, and this woman was like, what voice pattern is this? I want to start maybe talking like this next year. And like, you got all sorts. You know, and imagine if you had a friend who was like, what are you just doing? Different speech patterns? Although I had a roommate in college after Google hunting, like, blew up. Like, you know.

He was like, you don't really have that kind of accent. He's like, dude, it's back. What are you talking about? But yeah, no, I'm just figuring out lighter tones. Pastels. Tell me about those shorts.

It's a mesh cut, and it also, if I were to fall down, I'm good. It looks like a grandmother's sweater. Is that the loosest shirt you've ever worn? I don't think I've ever seen you in a shirt that, like, you wear tight shirts. Well, my arms are big. You work out. Yeah. So what am I supposed to do? Flaunt it. Yeah. But happy birthday. Thanks. Is this how you expected to spend your 49th birthday?

Is it 49 for real or is it 49 joke, ha-ha, you're 49 again? No, you guys will know when it's 5-0. Next year? I would have guessed like 43. People have said my maturity level, they're blown away. And I was like, oh, because I look so good? And they're like, no.

You look damn good for 49. More because of like just your whole deal. Yeah. Well, I hope we know when you turn 5-0 because you, so it is your birthday. Right. We were planning on doing this pod today. And then yesterday you texted me. You said, hey, I actually forgot that tomorrow's my birthday. So I think we should hang out for my birthday. I was like, yeah. How do you forget what day your birthday is?

I didn't forget, like, if I had to fill out paperwork, I would still know it. But it just was one of the, I'd just gotten back from Spain. Everything was fucked up. It was one of the worst sleeping experiences I've had since, I think, Pledge Week, Hell Week, pledging. You don't sleep a lot during that, but some of you guys who quit wouldn't even fucking know what I'm talking about. It's basically bud straining, yeah? Stay with your heartbreak motel hats. I can't take you seriously.

Well, it's better than the hat you guys originally gave me. It's also better than you showing your balls to everyone like the last time we were at beach. I thought about it. I thought about it. Yeah, we put like a filter on it so that it's not going to happen this time. You and Bob Stoops, the two biggest like ball reveals on Pardon My Take History. Bob Stoops just had a fucking moose knuckle in our fan's face for a half hour. That's good company. Yeah. That's true. He won a natty. I remember I interviewed Bob. I was in Norman.

And it was like right when these offenses were getting out of control. And so everybody was giving up way more points. So the defensive-minded coaches were like losing it. And Oklahoma, you know, traditionally stoops the whole deal. And so I was out the night before with, you remember Kevin, was it Kevin White?

No, not the receiver. No, Kevin White? No, come on. Hall of Famer. Kevin Wilson. Kevin Wilson, the offensive coordinator, ended up being the head coach at Indiana. So somebody boots on the ground was like, do you want to go out drinking with these guys in Norman? And I went, yeah, fuck it. The staff will be there. So I'm having a few beers, and it's a bunch of the guys on the staff. And they were like, you got Bob tomorrow? And I was like, yeah, I have 15 minutes with Bob in his office. And they were like, well, let's go over the questions. Let's prep. And these guys had been drinking. They were ready to go. And I prepped it out.

Like, oh, that's a good one. That's a good one. And then I got to like, hey, I've noticed like on average, you're giving up way more yardage per play than you ever have before. Like what's going on with your secondary? And can you actually like hang with the SEC? And they're like, oh my God, that's, he's going to kill you. You can't ask him that question. And so I did ask him it and he hated it.

And we were in his office. I remember he was like, what you fail to realize is, you know. But he did make a good point that they were just running so many more plays. He had a lot of watches, too, from all the bowl games. What does that have to do with his balls, though? Well, I like that he stuck up for himself. Yeah, there you go. So I think there's some similarities there. That's probably why he came back to the USFL. They don't score shit there. Yeah. Nobody gets scored on because the offenses are bad. Stoops, though, really did have like a complete makeover.

Like, he went from, you know, if you were an Oklahoma guy, you loved him. Right. But he could kind of give a shit about anybody else. And then once he, I mean, it took him a little bit longer, or maybe it was just transcendent. Maybe it's going to be what we see with Belichick. Like, everybody's going to love the lovable Belichick now. Right. And you're going to be like, all right, but what does that mean? Stoops also has that, I mean, the crazy story is his dad...

of a heart attack while coaching, like on the sidelines. So his whole thing was like, I'm going to retire before like I get to that point. So yeah, that's heavy. Yeah. That's good. But I ended up really liking him. I, and I didn't in the beginning. Okay. Maybe that's what people think of me when they see my balls. No, I see your balls. I think just all I think is balls. Yeah. I actually think, okay, so he didn't do steroids. Thanks man. Yeah. You

You know, because we would be able to tell. All right, so happy birthday. And hey, thanks for bumping Trump for me this week. Oh, yeah. No problem. Were you guys supposed to have him on? Oh, yeah, we were. We were going to have him on, but we actually have a very surprise birthday guest for you.

Donald Trump. Bring him out. Here he is. We actually, no, we did want to have you on, though, because... You want to talk about the race? Well, we don't dip into politics, but we wanted to do a little election preview with you. Yeah, okay. Who you got? Thoughts. What do you think is going to happen in Pennsylvania? Well, I think a snapshot of any polling number right now is the dumbest thing. This is where Ryan's going to really answer this. No, I'm serious. It was...

Like, if you look at the Vegas odds, which I actually think are really interesting with it, the swings in a very short amount of time, it's because no one side can keep their shit together for more than three days. But who are the swing votes right now? Like, who has not made up their mind?

What is it? Pennsylvania? Yeah, one county in Wisconsin. Isn't it always your place, Wisconsin? Wisconsin, Michigan. Yeah, this is where we're all going to expose ourselves as morons. Florida's up for grabs, that's what they said. That's what they say. That's just one guy tweeting. He's like, I think Florida's up for grabs. He's like, all right, dude. I do love the polling of one, though. They'll have... And I'm talking either CNN or Fox. They'll just throw somebody in some place. There's a perfect example. I think there was...

Somebody from Fox went to interview like five women that if you hooked up with, you would never tell anyone ever in your entire life. Okay. And I'm just trying to paint a picture here. And so they were like, is Harris a candidate for you? Does she speak to you? You know, woman, woman, woman here.

And they were all like, no, she sucks. She's an idiot. And I was like, okay. And then the reporters are like, did any of you vote for Hillary? And they're like, nope, couldn't stand her. So you're like, okay. And then it gets play. Yeah. And you're like, man, this Harris is not as popular. You found five in fucking Arkansas that were never voting for her anyway. It's when people who are highly political online do Twitter polls.

Like, Clay Travis would be like, who are you voting for tomorrow? And it's like, well, that's your audience. Like, if I did a poll, it would be like, you know, do you like the Bears or the Packers more? Yeah. Actually, that one might be a lot of Packers fans. The polling of one shit that we see, where, like, they had another one where it was a white guy in a black barber shop. That was so funny. It was so fucked up. And he's wearing, like, a Jordan t-shirt. Yeah, the guy's trying to fit in. Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

This guy was trying to fit in. He put a Jordan t-shirt on underneath a sport coat. Yeah, right. And then he went to a barbershop. Not an art. Yeah, and he's like, do you guys think that Kamala Harris is black? Yeah. Go on. And it was the most uncomfortable minute of TV. And then like four guys may not like her and then he tosses it back to studio. They're like, well, this election's a wrap. So I don't understand like the polling of one phenomenon that we have where

This is kind of my point about the Super Bowl. I say this, like, we shouldn't ever be allowed on the air hours after the Super Bowl. Because in that window, we're incapable of having any perspective. And it's why I always make fun of, like, after championships. So I actually think the rate of speed that we have with information is making us dumber. Oh, yeah. And this isn't, like, the most enlightening thing you're ever going to hear, but...

I don't think whether it's how you feel about a team historically or a player and their accomplishments historically, but if you relate it to what's happening right now in an election year, I don't know that the tides are turning nearly as fast as everybody's pretending as it does day to day. Yeah, everything is fucking madness. I love it when you do the, is this the greatest championship team of all time? Yeah. Seconds after it's over. I get people that earnestly be like, because the joke is always like,

You have to ask. Yeah, you do. Yeah. You always have to ask. So that was actually my next question. I had LSU people mad at me being like, are you serious? What about 19 LSU? And I'm like, dude, you're explaining it to me. You're an LSU guy. Yeah, well, you guys are the biggest LSU guys. Yeah, we are. Day one. I didn't hurt you. We were Coach O guys. That stung. We're not LSU guys. That's why it stung. Are you still Brian Kelly? Well, I mean, we were very open. We talked about it. You like BK? I like BK a lot. You like all BK? Yeah.

I'm not getting at Summerhouse with him, but I mean, I like him and he's always been really good to me. Okay. You family? Y'all family? Y'all can? Hey. There's nothing I can say. I did have a question for you, Ryan. Are we sure the Celtics are good?

Here's my question. If they win the gold, does that mean the Celtics are even better? Well, it's interesting you brought that up, Ryan, because I did a little research just before you sat down here. I went back through some of your recent takes. This was from early July. You tweeted, is Tatum the best international player in the world? No, I didn't.

You tweeted that. Well, you want to know why? It's because Simmons was saying that he is the best international player, and so then I was making fun of it in the tweet. Didn't get that. Yeah. You don't get that context. No. That was only for the audience of the Sunday podcast. Okay, let's have an actual intelligent... Bill went on with Joe House and said that Tatum should get LeBron's minutes.

okay well he also with me was like who's gonna start tatum or lebron i was like are you serious and he was making the question was the best international like his whole thing was he's the best international player i laughed we argued it was fine but then i used it in a tweet got it yeah got it so um yeah that kind of takes the the sting out of it a little bit yeah especially when you get a dnp yeah good you could have made me look bad yeah so uh is the us still good at basketball

Or is it just Mickey Mouse? I don't understand what you're asking. We have the easiest schedule of all time. I'm not sure this team's good. Who are we supposed to play? And I said we. Someone better? Yeah, Greece. How's your borders are? So I look at like Canada, right? Listen, women don't owe me shit.

That's so profound. For the record, if you're listening to this, I'm wearing the hat that says women don't owe me shit because it was Ryan's hat. I didn't want to wear it. He didn't want to wear it. I didn't want to wear it. After my... What? What does it say?

Women don't owe you shit. Oh, wait. I should have worn it. Yeah. That's a great hat. Oh, that's actually, yeah. You're standing with women. That's not a pander hat at all. Look at me. Ryan refused to wear this hat. Can you believe that? We're so misogynistic. We read it in a totally different way.

Fuck. Oops. Women don't owe you shit. That's, dude, hey. I wish, way to stand up. Your intern is so proud of himself right now. He's dying. Huey, he's a gem. He's a young John Candy. He's just looking at us. He's so happy with these outfits. You know, that's a lot of power. Big WNBA guy. How do you feel about Angel Reese, Caitlin Clark? Want to say something, Huey? What do you think about that rookie of the year race? He has a podcast. It was called NBA Hole.

There was NBA asshole And then When he realized WNBA was a league What last year? He added the W So it's NBA whole How did it do? Do any numbers? 45 people And how many of those were you listening back? I listened to it back like 3 times You understand how I was like Talking and stuff Then he deleted it He accidentally deleted 200 episodes

Brutal. It might be better, though, in the long run. Yeah, true. Based on what you guys are telling me. Angel Reese? Yeah, I love Angel Reese. I think she has like Rodman-level rebounding. I fucking love her. I think Katen Clark, potential to be the face of the league. She's not there today. She won't be there tomorrow. Three, four years away from being half of that.

She'll be alright. She'll get her way up. But Angel, Angel's my baby girl. She'll be a 20 in 10. Okay, nice. Every day. So you're voting her rookie of the year if you had to vote? If I had to, yeah. He should have a vote. He clearly knows ball. Would you call her baby girl at a press conference? No, no, no. That would be behind closed doors. Okay, good job, Huey.

Thank you. Big WNBA guy. All right. Baby girl. It's tough to go back and listen to yourself in the beginning. He did it all the time. Then he deleted his own episodes. It just makes you have to work that much harder to build up the library again. Yeah. I have a take that I would like to take back that I think you were right.

Conference realignment? Yeah. I did that rant again today. Yeah. You might be right on that. 33 different teams. You might be right. 33 teams have changed conferences since 2001. Yeah. Now, my take has always been I'm going to watch it no matter what, and I love college football no matter what. And I agree with you. But you are right that this is the first season where I'm like, what the fuck's going on? And it's not even, it's the USC-UCLA, it's the Texas-Oklahoma. It just feels off. It feels weird. Yeah.

My point was always this, okay? It's much like the play-in game. I didn't think it was right for a team in certain years with the 10 seed is going to have such an abysmal record compared to the team that has the 7 seed and you're like, you still have to kind of prove yourself one more time even though it's weighted to win one game at home and then another chance but like if the 10 seed just

I don't know, the right thing happens. You're going to go, okay, so a team with 36 wins gets into the playoffs. A team with 50 isn't. Remember that happened to the Cardinals and the Dodgers? They had the way the baseball playoffs were one year. They both had almost 100 wins. They had to play one game. And you go, what the fuck is the point of what we just did for six months? That's the stuff I cannot stand. There was a 2015 year where the Cardinals, Cubs, and Pirates all had, I think it was like 98 wins. And then we beat the Pirates in the one-game playoff. And it was like...

They won 98 games. How is this possible? Yeah, and now you're done. You're done. You just did this for six months. So my point is that when the Lakers and Golden State were going at it in that awesome Curry-LeBron play-in game, I wasn't having a bad time watching it. That's not the point. The point is the structure, that it exists. And it's the same thing with playoff expansion. It's the same thing with all the realignment. I'm still going to watch for 12-plus hours on Saturday, but what

I loved about the sport was that a Pac-12 game looked like a Pac-12 game. And then culturally, when you would visit all of these different places, the fan bases were lined in a very confident... Like, it just made sense. And...

And I remember Cannell telling me that the whole conference thing was an SEC creation. And I'm like, dude, I am telling you right now, maybe I'm guilty of pulling on one thing here again, but when I was like a crazy Big East guy in the 80s and 90s as a kid and then into college, like I hated Syracuse and Georgetown because I love St. John's, but I still wanted to see Cuse and Georgetown beat ACC schools. Right, right. And it was kind of this fun additive thing for the tournament. And...

Look, maybe it won't matter. Maybe younger people will just be desensitized to the whole thing. But when the ACC Twitter feed is congratulating Katie Ledecky saying the Olympians are made here, you're just like, what the fuck? The death of the Pac-12 was really the part of it. Yeah.

of it. Do you see it on .com? They have the standings, Pac-12 standings, and it's the two teams. It's so embarrassing. Well, not even embarrassing, it's sad. It's sad. It is sad. You're right. So you were right about that. Thank you. I just felt like you were part of the haves, and the haves had a hard time. I admitted that, bro. One percenter. I admitted that. I admitted if I rooted for a team, if I was an Oklahoma State fan, I would feel a lot different than being a Wisconsin fan, being like, I don't think, but you know what?

Now, with how crazy it is, I can see a world where Wisconsin does get left out with whatever the next iteration is. Yeah, see, that's the other part that sucks is that there's –

Even though it's expanded, so I'm going to lose the argument here because you're going to get some teams in, but like the Penn State model the last couple years, Roger, it's like, who have you beat that's actually really good the last couple years? Because as soon as you actually play somebody that has athletes that can match or outmatch your athletes, then you just don't win those games. It's going on a couple years. But at the end of the year, you're like, oh, cool, we're 9-3 or we're, you know...

11-2 because we won our bowl game. We beat undefeated Iowa at home 30-0. Exactly. And because Iowa finds a way because of how bad that side of the Big Ten has been now. I'm going to miss the Big Ten West. Yeah, because it's awesome if you're decent because you're like, now we're going to win seven games. And if we win the two non-conferences that aren't power fives, then that's nine wins and we don't even know if we're any fucking good. And then you're ranked 16th and then Penn State beats you and then it's like, wow, great job. And

I guess that team, it's not going to happen now because the conferences are too tough between the Big Ten and the SEC, but I think there's going to be some expansion like playoff slots where we're going to be arguing about teams that may not have beaten anybody remotely good. All they did was lose close to good teams. Like, oh, well, they lost by six to Ohio State. Down 14 and they don't care that you score the touchdown. Yeah, what we'll see is maybe a couple very entertaining early matchups.

where the two teams are similarly mismatched against each other, and then the top four teams are just going to kick the shit out of everybody in the second round of it. But we might get one more fun week of college football. Look, it's still going to be fun. Everybody that's been on me about, oh, why don't you want expansion? We have it in the other division or the other levels of college football. And I go, okay, but...

I'm still, obviously, I'm not going to protege him. Like, hey, let me know when the first round's over because I'm mad about it. Right. They're still going to be great games. You're going to watch. It's the same thing as the play-in. And home games are going to be cool. That's going to be a really fun added wrinkle. I think it kind of, I almost like the false hope sometimes of a Wisconsin in the right year. Yeah.

If the SEC East was down, and this is like pre-Georgia, post-Florida in that window where they weren't great there for a little while, but now whoever that team is is like buried. Yeah. No, I mean it's set up for like they did a – I think they went back 20 years and they're like who would have made the playoffs? And Wisconsin would have made it like seven out of the 20 years. Yeah, this is actually great for Penn State. Yeah.

Yeah. And it's the quintessential team that will benefit from this. And people will say to me all the time, like, oh, well, what about the NFL? Do you think I love a 9-7 team, like playing in the conference championship? Yeah. I don't, actually. Yeah, but the NFL is different because you've had wildcard teams make those runs and win Super Bowls. So, like, if you get healthy. The difference between the best team in the NFL and the worst team in the NFL is a lot smaller than the best team in college football. Absolutely. But, like, I would ask.

Going into Ohio State-Michigan this year, if they're both really, really good, how are you going to possibly feel the same way when nothing's at stake? How does that not hurt you?

And this is the thing I cannot answer. I can't answer it with live rights for the NBA or the NFL or like even people were theorizing, like we had even heard like, how come these owners are selling these teams? Like, oh, wait, are they hearing that the new TV deal actually isn't going to be that good? And you were hearing like a couple more teams were even available that haven't even been sold yet. And I'm thinking like, oh, wait, this might be the bubble. Like everybody's a bubble expert post a big short and everybody just keeps it in bubble, bubble, bubble. Read the book.

Great job. Read Boomerang. You love that one. What's that? That was the other Michael Lewis book. I only read Michael Lewis books because they always make movies. They never did. I don't think... Boomerang's a tough script. Maybe McKay can pull that one off. I probably won't do it. So what's Boomerang? Boomerang is, I think, the extra research involved with different economic failures around the world. And it's so great because...

because we're also reading it after the result so it feels like every single page is like what they thought this like this is the dumbest idea ever like they were going to start some resort I think in Ireland and it was like near the water and there was like this one sheep farmer who lived there and they tried to start it all up and it was a fucking disaster and then the guy was like I've lived here my whole life and I've never wanted to be here one day I didn't know why I was

Resort and then Greece during their nonsense they don't pay taxes yeah and when I went to visit Greece which was a long time ago I was I just finished Boomerang so I was like hey what's the story with you guys I know it's not a popular topic for me my brand but I was like what's the story well these are international taxes yeah yeah I was like what's up with you guys here like you don't

You don't pay any taxes? And every guy I met was the only guy in Greece that paid his taxes. He's like, no, I do, I do, I do, I do. I got to read Boomerang then. Yeah. Boomerang. Didn't Michael Lewis get... Oh, no, it was The Blind Side. It came out way... How did that not come out right away, that he was good friends with the Toohey's? That was the whole thing. Oh, yeah, I don't know. That all came out last year, where it's like, oh, actually, he's very good friends with the family, and he just never said that. I love Michael Lewis books. Oh, they're great. But...

And I've had him on and I love that he's been nice enough to come on with me. But when I read Moneyball, the first thing I thought of was like, how come Barry Zito, Hudson, and Mulder never get fucking mentioned? Or Tejada, right?

Yeah, but it was really about, like, you have three ones in your rotation. You're all making no money. By far the best rotation in baseball. You drafted great pitchers. Like, they made the entire movie, too. They didn't even show them on screen, I don't think. Right. They might have showed Mulder on the back. And it just kind of speaks to, like, how we can all work. Like, somebody had said this recently about John Oliver. Like, John Oliver's monologues are probably the best in the business. I saw this. Right? And they're unbelievably convincing until he does the one on the topic that you know. You know, yeah. So if he did an NBA one, because my range is rather limited as I was trying to take

check the pre-mark in Japan going, I don't know what I'm fucking doing. Like, just go to bed. Like, wait, so our yen debt is what? Like, carry the tube? Like, you're fucked. Just turn this off. When I saw that Oliver point, I was like, yeah, maybe. If I knew more about, you know,

international smuggling yeah but i don't but goddamn an accent yes the accent a great a great setup on hbo i can't hang with that i saw that and then it bummed me out because then i thought about people who listen to us who are experts in whatever we're talking about yeah but you guys you admit when you're not that's what yeah we're actually very rarely wrong though the craziest is it true true very rarely the craziest thing to me is that like when we go when we travel we're

The amount of NFL scouts or college football coaches say they listen, I'm like, why? Did you just laugh at how stupid we sound? You have to think we're the dumbest people in the world. But you're not presenting yourself like the rest of us. I try to present myself as like, I've got it, and if I'm wrong, it only means the data was wrong, not the analysis. I think the scouts and coaches like us because they...

They listen also to serious sports talk radio with people that present themselves as geniuses. And then we are just the much, much more dumb version of that. Hey, look, when a GM says he listens, I apologize too. I always feel bad. I'm like, there's no way that we're saying anything that you think is interesting. Because think about the way the media is covered. If they're in the world of podcasting and you or I, Big Cat, will text each other and be like, can you believe? Did you see this?

Like, here's a perfect example. Fuck it, I'll just say it, because I think it's the funniest leverage leak of all time. There was an article recently about Stephen A.'s new contract, and it was like, if they can't figure it out, he may go to politics, he may go late night, or he could get into acting. And you're like, you know what? You're like, that's one where you push back. And go, I mean, he's going to sign for a huge number, because he's really good, and he's really valuable, and he draws eyeballs, whether you love him or hate him. Like, he works. Right. But acting? Because he was on General Hospital a couple episodes? Yeah.

Come on. We should do that for ourselves next contract. They might do porn. After I saw that, I was like, you know, whenever I'm up here, I'm going to leak. I'm going to leak something to somebody I don't like. Yeah. But when you see our world covered, it makes you just cringe. Yeah. Like, that's not even what happened. That's not how it works. And so even when we talk about sports for our entire professional lives, like,

I can watch a game and have a feeling about a player, but the number of times where somebody's been nice enough to be like, hey, I heard about what you said, and I understand how you got there, but actually this guy was doing this, and then this other thing, and you're just like, fucking A. Yeah, we have no clue. Yeah, you have no clue. So don't listen anymore. Unsubscribe. Except Skip Bayless. He knows what he's talking about. RIP Skip Bayless. Are you okay? Yeah.

No, I'm not okay. Thank you for asking. I think you guys appreciated it way more than I ever thought you would have. What do you mean? Him. His whole thing. I never was the biggest Skip guy. PFT is more of a Skip guy. You just appreciate him. I appreciate him. That's exactly right. I don't like Skip Bayless. Although he was very nice to me the one time I met him. We were in Bristol. Yeah, you got some juice though, dude. I did. No. No, I don't. This is pre-juice. Everybody was kissing your ass when you showed up.

No, this is pre-Juice. Pre-Juice. This is pre-us showing up. What's the date of Juice? Well, this was 2000... AJ, after Juice. 2017 was probably the date of Juice. This was 2014. Yeah, so very pre-Juice. Yeah, so no one knew what I looked like. What were you guys even doing there? So I went up there because we won an auction to do a behind-the-scenes tour of First Take. And so I went up there. I just sat. I watched them tape the show, which was wonderful. It was the day that... What's the dude's name on the Jets? Punch Gino Smith in the face.

EK in Impala or whatever. Yeah, broke his jaw. And then they had a very mature conversation about that. Skip and Stephen A just yelled at each other for about three hours. And then afterwards, I went up.

introduce myself to him. And then Skip just sat down, started asking me about, like, where I'm from, what seems I like. He didn't know you were in the media, though. He just thought you were a random guy. He thought I was a random guy. But we talked for, like, 15 minutes and just had, like, a conversation. He didn't have to do that. So I was like, okay, Skip seems like a good guy. But no, I've never been, like, a fan of Skip, but I appreciate...

how crazy he is. Yeah. And what an insane person to have on TV. We're so lucky to watch this guy. The one person in the history of the world that thinks that LeBron sucks and Tim Tebow is great. And there's nobody else that does that, but he truly believes that. I don't know if he truly believes it. You're never going to get me there. You don't think so? Yeah, that's where I always falter, where I'm like, I think he's...

He does a good job. When he said Bronny's more clutch because of Call of Duty. That's a great take. It's unbelievable. That's a great take. I give him credit for getting there. Great take. Because I wasn't going to workshop that one on the pad at any point. And, well, he beat Grant Williams, who I still don't know why Grant Williams is there. I had to double check to make sure that he wasn't in the Summer League still. Well, not in Summer League, but apparently he wouldn't leave the Call of Duty booth. Which is crazy. For days.

I don't know. I'm not reporting that. Does he have that dog in him? Yeah, maybe he just was like, look, you guys can get shots up. I will too. What do you think about the fact that Bronny goes by Bronny? Like in the record, in the box score. It's B. James. It's not L. James. I hadn't really thought about it a lot. You should consider that. By the way, another take that you were right about. Bad idea for us to try to do anything with ESPN.

That was just me being competitive. That was our juice days. Yeah. We're going to get back to Ryan Russillo in a second. He's brought to you by our great friends over at Chevy.

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You actually didn't say it was a bad idea, you just were like, be careful. I said be careful. Yeah, you're right. Because one of the most fucked up things that happened when you guys were brought in, because it was hilarious. And I think Big Cat and I have talked about this, I don't know if PFT and I, I remember we were talking about Moneyball and somehow we ended up here, but I don't mind. We were talking bubbles, I'm still aware, but I don't care anymore because this is more fun. So when...

Big Cat and PFT showed up to ESPN because the show was already going to happen. Right. And there was a guy in the talent department who I thought was like my guy. And everybody on air was always trying to find their person in the talent department to be like

Hey, like when I'm up, can you, can you, not that they were going to name the price, but like he needed a voice in the room. That was always the goal of ESPN. I need somebody with some fucking juice who has a voice in the room. That's going to be an advocate for me. And if you don't have that, it's never going to happen for you there. But they were also incredibly obsessed with whoever didn't work there and was killing. So there was a stretch where like, you guys are blowing up and they're thinking of like, how do we just hook into this?

And at that point, I still would say ESPN has the draw. I still think ESPN is an incredible opportunity for people who want to be in it. Of course. There's something about being on TV, on live TV, that it goes a lot of places that podcasts don't go. Whatever. You're going to have issues no matter where you work, okay? And when it's front-facing, it also puts an added pressure on it. However I felt about bigger picture things, when I walked in the door,

door that day and was like i'm gonna talk sports for three hours like it was i didn't have many just was never like i can't believe i have to work today okay right but when you guys were walking around because i'll never forget this now there's buzzing and now it's every fucking on-air guy going what's going on with those guys like they're gonna be doing something here like what's up and we're becoming friends and we see each other we hug it out and i'm kind of like oh

And I knew I was never going to get like any special stuff. So I didn't get too upset about it. And then a guy in the talent part was like, you're boys with them. And I was like, yeah, like, you know, we're boys. He's like, I got to get big cat cell phone number because I want to like talk to him. And I was like, yeah, like fucking done. I'll get you on a text thread tonight.

and so the day wraps up i think we were you were around or something you came back to see me at the studio and uh another like higher up saw that we were hugging it out in the cafeteria or something and he was like is there any way you can get those two guys to like join you once a week like your contract's coming up but like if you could lock those guys in to like visit you once a week i'm like i don't know i might be kind of a big asker in new york like every week and so the

the guy that asked me to get your number, I go to big cat and I'm like, Hey, you got to talk to this guy. He's really plugged in, kind of knows what's going on. And big cats like,

Yeah, dude, I've been talking to him for a month. He already negotiated a deal for the Van Talk TV show. Yeah. And I was like, and what he was doing is he was actually covering his bases. With you, yeah. Trying to make me seem like he had nothing to do with giving you guys the opportunity. Because I would have been somebody they would have gone like, oh, Rosillo's going to be pissed when they get this opportunity. Right. And the reality is, is like, that was not an opportunity that I was going to be given. Right. I couldn't be mad about you guys getting a chance to shine there. Right.

We were so fucking dumb. Yeah, we were dumb. We were so dumb. That's also so shitty. You should have gotten paid for the entire thing. That's shitty that they go... They're so concerned about playing the internal mind games and politics that they will gaslight you into thinking that things are happening one way when they've been operating like Game of Thrones behind the scenes. Nobody should want to work at a place like that. The truth, and I'm not even saying it's specific to them. I just think it's a management tactic. It's like...

wait, the truth of like, this is way worse than just, Hey, we gave these guys a TV show. And like, I know you want a different opportunity, but at that point, like I knew, and I didn't want to get into all this stuff again. It's just that,

I told you, look out. Yeah. I was like, look out. And we were dumb. We were so dumb. Do you remember the list of stuff that you gave us when you brought us onto your radio show the first time? And it was like bringing outdoor cats inside at ESPN Radio. And you guys had a very helpful list of things that we couldn't say or do on the air. Do you remember that? I don't know if I wrote it. I think I was asked to give it to you guys. One of them was literally no peeing. Yeah. We weren't allowed to pee in the studio.

And they had to write that down. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't write that. Which, because that was Pissed Dogs era. No, no, it wasn't. This was not your doing. It was like, I don't know if it was production or if it was. You know what would have been great? Because you don't know this at the time. It's still ESPN. You're kind of figuring it out. But I mean, the joy in all of the story is that ultimately you didn't need any of it. No. It's the best thing. Right. Whenever we say it. But they had to ask you to not piss. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, right. That's where we. It's funny that they thought like. Yeah. We should put this in writing. And.

That we couldn't burn, we couldn't light Dan Patrick online. Somebody should have pushed back. You should have had Hank be like, hey, most of this is good. The pee thing. The piss thing. I'm going to have my attorney. Specifically.

No, it sounds cliche, but every time anyone asks me, I'm like, that was literally the best thing that could have happened to us because we learned it very fast early on that our audience is our audience and we don't need anyone else. And it's like that- And timing wise too, that was right. Like if it had been 10 years prior, you would have needed it. Correct. And actually you would have had the entry point that you have now because 10 years ago, well, I don't know. We can get into this- No, but it's true. But like the stuff moves so fast that-

And, you know, whenever I was up, I remember there were times where, like, it was getting down to the deadline of, like, me having to say yes or say no. And you'd want your ego to get in the way. And then I'd be like, dude, if you don't get to go back and you're going to be, like, starting your morning watching SportsCenter, like, be honest with yourself. Yeah. You know, it's like, I don't care if she dates somebody else. You're like, yeah, you do. Yeah. And I would just resign. Yeah. Until I didn't.

have to anymore and uh but we appreciate you having our back there's only a couple people well um i i do mean that like i think there's always a lot of competitiveness and there's i think sometimes jealousy can be good like it can be a driving force if you're competitive but you don't want to let jealousy start telling lies like you guys are sitting there going back to like

I can't believe these guys listen. Your interviews are better than everybody else's. They're better than mine. You know, I'll speak for myself. I'm not going to start saying this is why you're better than this. But you have, in a very short amount of time, established yourself in a way that you can interview things, but you're not... Like, I remember I tried to get one coach on with you. I was trying to help you. This was, like, pre-Ogeron. I'd never fucking do it now. But...

We stole Coach O from Ryan. Yeah, but Panansky gave him to him. It was tough for me because it was right after they won the national championship and then we were all walking and you guys were setting up to interview him and we all made eye contact and then O's right hand guy looked at me and it's like, yeah, I've been the guy going to games out of my own fucking pocket for 15 years, but no, this is cool. But I did help Derek get his next job. Did you?

Well, at that point, he was your guy. Yeah, that's true. So I got Coach O, though, in July, and then they made me edit out the best answer. So it's basically the same. Yeah, yeah. What was that answer?

oh how would he do against tommy moffitt in a fight and it was awesome the answer was incredible it was actually like the best part of the interview and then they called me after and they're like hey can we just cut it out i go dude no one actually thinks coach o is going to beat up tommy moffitt yeah like it's it's the best part of the interview right but because of my lsu ties you know i want to protect the family right yeah and then i was like well hopefully if you guys win another national championship i can get him in the july after that one too so wait what was his answer

Oh, he's like, I smacked the shit out of him. Something like that. I mean, he gave you the perfect Coach O answer. Yeah. The whole thing. And it was, it was like, great. Yeah. I think he also hyped up Trump a lot. They said, keep that in. We don't want to divide the Tommy Moffat audience. No, I think there was like, randomly Trump came up. I did not bring it up. And he was just like, yeah, he was here at practice. And man, he'd make a hell of a football coach. I was like...

That's perfect. That's awesome. So seriously, you have no regrets at all leaving ESPN? I can't believe we're here again because I feel like I've done all this already. I don't think we have. Yeah. I know, but I think I've done it. We never talked about Barstool Van Talk and how you had our back, which I do like. Yeah, Ryan. That's something that forever will... You know... That was our lowest point. And you know the people that have your back. And you and Scott both had our back. And so whenever someone's like...

oh, I thought you guys hated ESPN. It's like, well, I don't like ESPN, but there are some certain people there that I will die for. And some of those people have apologized to you, by the way. Yeah, yeah. Which I think is fascinating. Yeah. I've already talked a lot about this, so I know we haven't really done it. There's just not really anything left for me to say about it. Like, it's been five years already.

The only day I've missed it, there was only one day I was in my car where I was like, God damn, I wish I was on the air right now. It was after Westbrook sucked in an elimination playoff game. And I was like, today's... Live radio is... Live radio. There's something about it. But I was thinking about this today because I was listening to live radio and I still listen constantly. Like, dude, the day I was done, I was in the car listening to other people. Like, I never... It was just time, okay? It was just time and...

And I had no idea if it was going to work out or not. I felt like the floor for me was fine. Right. I felt like, hey, whatever my floor is and I have other interests and all the other stuff that I've tried to do and want to do, which is certainly taking a lot of time, too. But I wasn't because I was older. I really was at like peace and I kind of needed peace.

I needed to just be gone. Yeah. Cause it wasn't, you did the half in half out for a little bit. Yeah. And that was kind of the funniest thing at the end was cause the radio show was the end of 17 and I knew that was happening. So I was like, whatever. But then I was under contract and then my buddies were like, why don't you just go to the South, South of France or eight months? I was like, I'm not as, I'm not like a big enough of a deal to just disappear for a year and then pop back up. And then I did a podcast, like after we all kind of calmed down after a couple of weeks and it,

It was actually all like, nobody was really mad or anything. And look, they wanted Stephen A and didn't want me. And I understand it. And so, um, I was just too young. I was only 42, right? 42, 41, 42. And I'm like, I'm too young to be going in the wrong direction. Um,

And luckily the podcast kind of timed it out right. And I was able to move to Manhattan Beach, which is something I've wanted to do for like 20 years when my buddy got traded here and I came to visit him. And I went, I can't believe like this is a town that people live in. Yeah. And so I was like, maybe you just move. You just move and that's it. Like, I mean, it sounds lame, but I cut out a picture of like a real estate guide of like the dream home in Manhattan Beach. And I put it in my fridge in Connecticut. I looked at it like every day for five years. Yeah.

I know. And you did it. Manifest that shit. And Life Advice happened, which is one of the best segments in any podcast. Not the most original thing, but it works because of Kyle and Saruti. Yeah. And what made it good is that it was the wives and girlfriends that don't want to listen to my NBA monologues were like, I went from walking down the street to wives and girlfriends going, I fucking hate you.

you're on in the house and in the car nonstop to, hey, you're the only guy we can agree to listen to on a road trip. We don't listen to the beginning part.

or whatever but that's i mean i you that just triggered a memory the the one of the greatest segments ever done the the who's the jerk with you and svp and in stanford steve and the question of who hates you more ryan women or men yeah that was that was unbelievable so bad you know what's funny though is like i missed that stuff because of course i felt like

That was really cool stuff that we were doing. Like, we did an entire segment of the show where we did, like, two segments or something. And I go, let's just keep trying different shit. Like, I remember pitching Who's the Jerk to Van Pelt in the parking lot at A&M for the Manziel-Alabama game that was the rematch after he had beat them in Tuscaloosa. And I was, like, really driven to constantly, with the radio show, be like, let's keep trying, like, different dumb shit. Like, let's figure it all out. And then...

they'd be like, eh. And I'm like, how do you not understand how fucking funny who's the jerk was? It was so good. It goes in the ring all day. No one in management, like, there

There wasn't one fucking person that went, Hey, that thing you did today was awesome. Yeah. And that's when you're like, Hey, I know this works. Like my instincts are good. Like why, why are you not interested? But like Mike and Mike were so dominant and every middle manager and up management person love cow herd because he was more aligned with them. Life experience age wise. And, um, that's something you always have to remember. Like when you're in creative things, like I think the best creative managers can be like,

I don't get anything you're doing. Right. But it fucking works. Right. So let's just keep doing your thing. Dave has never listened to a single episode of Pardon My Take. No. He doesn't know I exist. He doesn't. It's not for him. Can I tell you a Dave story? Yeah. So I was back at my old stomping grounds in Vermont. Burlington means a lot to me. I go back once a year. Wait, I thought you went to LSU.

No, no football team at Vermont, so I'm allowed to pick one. Got it. That's true. You do get that. No football since 1974. So...

There were a couple younger dudes that were excited that I was at my friend's bar and I used to live like above it. And then I'd get stuck on a level of Grand Theft Auto and I would walk down to his bar and like have a couple beers. I'm like, I'm fucking stuck in the parking garage. Dude, you got to take the drone. And I'd be like, all right. And then I'd set my alarm at 1159 a.m. and be like, all right, up bright and early. Um,

And this girl comes up to me. She's like, are you Dave Portnoy? Because all these younger guys are really excited. And I was like, I'm not. She was disappointed that I was not. Yeah. You should have gone with it. Should I? Yeah. I used to love it when you did the Boston Accents. What segment was that? UNSVP.

State of the Nation. State of the Nation, yeah. Pulse of the Nation. Pulse of the Nation. Election year. Yeah, Pulse of the Nation. You'd have like Dropkick Murphys playing in the background and just yell at each other for like two or three minutes. It was a great radio show. It really was. I listened to it in my car during my lunch break. But like this is kind of the lesson in all that stuff is that the show the first two years wasn't as good as people remember. Yeah. Okay? Because that stuff takes a really long time. Like it actually takes a long time. Like Scott and I were not...

he had just heard me filling in and he liked me. And there was this one segment I did, ironically, looking at everything that it said was the greatest Super Bowl, greatest tournament, greatest golfer, greatest all these, although Tiger's probably a pretty good choice at that time. And I went through like 12 different things and

And I'm like, there's no way we're this lucky that we've had these 12 things happen in the last calendar year. Like there's no way we're this lucky. And Van Pelt like called in, but we had like a hard break. We couldn't take him. And then he saw me and he was like, Hey, that was really great. And then he came up.

They were going to give him Tariqo's slot because Tariqo couldn't keep doing everything that he was doing. And I still think Tariqo, if he just said, hey, I'm just going to be radio guy, I think he would have been like the best radio talk show host. But he's doing the Olympics and world championships and everything. So that's probably a little bit cooler. But...

I remember like Scott's a watch everything guy. I'm a watch everything guy. Scott's probably a little insecure about transitioning from TV to radio. I'm insecure just because I feel like, what do you guys think? I'm the fucking help here? Like an elf in the North pole. Like I got shit to say. Yeah. And so we are the, we watch everything guys battling it out. And this show was okay. Um,

But there was this part after like two plus years where he told some story about like getting filmed by a bunch of like high school kids in the lacrosse outfits in the Chipotle in West Hartford and nothing makes it matter. So he starts videotaping them back. I'm like, that's psychotic. Like you videotape the kids back. What are you doing? He's like, well, how do you like it? And I'm like, yeah, but they're not on TV. They're not on like one of the most popular TV shows in the country. I go, tell, you know, tell this story.

And you tell those stories and then you start to realize like you can watch games and have sports takes and all that stuff. But like you have to figure out a way to get your personality in there. And I mean, you guys are the best example of that going, but yeah.

it's weird to get the buy-in. If nobody knows who you are, like day one, I'm going to be Mr. Personality who's going to care about all these things. But when you start fucking around more with radio shows and podcasts, and you just go, like the best segments we have are probably before we even start live for Vice, we just check in with what Kyle's up to. That's the best stuff. Yeah, you want to be... You want to know more. You're investing that time. It's more than, like when I explain to someone what my job is, it's like pretty much just being a guy that people want to hang out with.

That's the key. We need to do a podcast where people want to listen and be like, I could be friends with those guys. Yeah, and you guys have a higher approval rating than I do. I don't think that's true. We actually get a lot of that. You were talking about earlier a woman coming up to be like, I can't stand you. There's so many people that we talk to. It'll be a guy that comes up, gets his picture taken, his girlfriend's taking the picture, and she's like, he makes me listen to you guys all the time. We get that a lot too. A lot.

We're really complimenting each other a ton right now. Yeah, we are. So the real reason we had you on today is I'm having a fourth kid. No, I'm just kidding. Fuck that. No way. Why not? You got the money for it. It's not money. Four kids is a lot. Three kids is a lot. I'm going to give this a five. Three's a lot. You think five? Basketball team? You'd make a great dad. I would. Because I've heard J.D. Vance, he was calling you a cat lady.

I know. He might lose me. Do you have a cat? What's your cat's name? Be careful, JD. You might lose Ryan. No. You know, I named him Montezuma. I just got done reading Conquistador by Levi.

You check it out. I don't know if you're... You might have a cat. I think he does. Remember when we went to your house after COVID and we were the first people to be in your house in like three years? I know. I gave myself an extra year of COVID. No one was built better for COVID than Ryan or Scylla. No, my friends said the same thing. They're like, you're fine, right? Yeah. But then I like... Another year went by and I was like, are you guys going out? Oh, shit. You got to do it. You start saying no to too much stuff. I'll tell you right now, if you're going to be by yourself...

With a fucking cat, say yes to more stuff. Yeah. Because those calls stopped coming in. Yep. And then all of a sudden you're like, all right, I don't have any kids and I don't have any friends. Yeah. So yeah, I named the cat after Montezuma because I'd read this book and I'm going to share something. I've been having a lot of colonizer guilt lately. You guys know what I'm talking about? Yep. Yeah. Although I feel like Spain just gets a fucking pass. Big time. Right? Big time. Spain absolutely does. It's only because they lost some wars in the United States, right? Right. The Netherlands too.

Oh, the Dutch are everywhere. Yeah. They get a huge pass. Federal Reserve. You know who gets a pass is Belgium. Yeah. Reserve currency. It's crazy. Tulips? You should do that. You should try that out. Tulips? No. Hey, you know what? Why don't we talk about the Dutch? They colonized. I may go there next year. We'll table it. Okay. We'll table it because I don't want to get off the plane and be like, you know, it's fucking like deep in Helsinki, right? Yeah. You're going to smoke a lot of weed? Probably not.

It just never happened for me. Your red light guy? No. I mean, would I admit it? Probably not. No. At some point... That was almost an admission. At some point in a monologue, I feel like you'd let it slip. Yeah.

If I did like the travel log and there's just a missing part. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That'd be a good, that would redacted file. I would tip it off. Yeah. Yeah. So you're turning away on Tuesday and then you just skip all day. So it's Friday. Let's pick it up. Hit the gym a couple of times. Found this great court played with this guy. Oh,

So you turned 49. Yeah. Me and Big Cat were 39. So it's like... I'm only... Wait, I'm a full decade over you guys? Yeah. Yeah. Fuck, I got started too late. When you're in the nines, you do... At least for me, when I turned 30 and I feel like I'm having the same experience turning 40, I spend like the entire year when I'm 29 or 39 just thinking about like, oh shit, I'm almost 40. But then when I turned 30, I was like, oh, it's no big deal. Yeah. Fuck it, who cares? Yeah.

But is there anything that you want to do that you want to, like, any new projects, any new things you want to get into in your 40s? I have good news that I can't share. Like, it's incredibly good news. Very good news. Yeah. So it's just not finalized yet. And it means a lot to me. He's getting a second cat. Because the cat, you know how lonely the one cat is? This fucking guy is not going to start dating somebody again. Your cat hates you? No.

Well, it's just like, hey, man, I can't be there for you all the time. I'm a cat. Cats hate everybody. I'm not a dog. I kind of want to go on a, I know the news. I kind of want to go on a hater revenge tour on your behalf. Would you give me permission? Yeah, absolutely. Okay. I might do that. But I just don't know. Like if I could just be your mouthpiece? Everything I'm trying to do, like you get the yes and it's like, yeah, but you need the bigger yes now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like fucking Q-Bert.

But just let me know because I'll hit that button. You already do that to me all the time when you send me a tweet knowing that I'm going to quote-tweet it. I do some Jedi mind-trap stuff on me. Ryan's like, this guy pisses me off, so he just sends it to me and I'm like, oh, fuck, it's on. Or the Dune voice. Can somebody confirm, did Star Wars rip off Dune? I haven't seen a second of either one. There's not one guy in your crew that doesn't know the answer to that? I don't know what Dune is.

I've never seen Dune. Yes, he said yes. Hank said yes. So that's true because I read something that was fairly convincing, but I don't know that I want to be convinced of anything anymore. Yeah. That's kind of where I'm at with this flow of information. You could be telling me the best shit ever. I'm like, I don't want to. Yeah. I don't want to fall for it. I don't want to get too high, too low. But yeah, I have the, these aren't the droids you're looking for and Big Cat will just send the tweet. Yeah. I'll be like, hey, you know what would be a funny tweet is this and then he just does it.

It's a good attack dog badge, yeah. And then I just end up online for the next three hours, like, fighting for the wall. And I didn't even mean to do it originally until he kept doing it, then admitted it, and then I was like, all right, well, now this is, like, too much fun. Well, congratulations on the big news. Well, I...

There's now I need bigger news. Yeah. The first part of the big news is, is, is a big deal for me. I'm very happy about that. I probably need to keep pushing myself professionally to fill whatever fucking void or some therapist would tell me that I have, which I can already figure out on my own. So, um, no, you don't need a therapist. No, I, I'm, I'm good. I already know everything they would say. It'd be pretty fucking obvious. And, uh, I'm, I'm like way happier than I've,

I mean, this isn't the question you're asking me, but like to, to the specifics of like the age thing. It's funny. Cause I was the youngest guy until all of a sudden overnight I was like, now I'm older than everybody. Yeah. But that's also because most people are like, you know, people with kids don't invite you to stuff because they don't think you would even want to go. Right. Why would you even want to come to this? Um, but.

I, I've worked really hard on, on this thing and we'll see. All right. So we got to wrap this up. I mean, it's, it is awesome. We, we love you, Ryan. A row back question. Last question. And we'll get out of here. RHOBACK.com promo code take 20% off first purchase. Q-zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. One answer. Who wins the NBA title next year? That is spicy. Yeah. That's already, you don't, you've used all your words. Um, one, one answer. All right.

It could be a team. It could be a team. It could be a one guy. North America. North America. I think it's really, really tough to repeat. So I'll just say Nuggets. Oh, OK. I like it. Do you do bracketology for football?

It's going to be challenging. Yeah. I love how the other sports try to capture the magic of the 64 teams. You can't do it. And NFL.com will have them. Like, hey, did you finish your bracket? Okay, it's done. Yeah, but listen, there's a spot here now because Joe Linardi, he pissed me off last year.

He admitted that he was going to sleep during a conference final game. And it was just like, what do you mean you're sleeping? It's the one day he has to work. You're literally, this is it. You get one week. He's like, I'm going to bed. Like, what the fuck? I'm sad.

It was Saturday. Yes, it was Saturday. It was Saturday the night before. Max and I were so mad. Saturday conference tournament. So mad. He was like, go to bed. Like, what the fuck? I think he missed the Oregon, that crazy triple overtime game. Or no, that was in the tournament. Either way, he went to sleep on conference championship Saturday. And so someone, some young whippersnapper is there for the taking.

Young whippersnappers are everywhere. You know what? They're also cheaper, too. That's true. They are. Yeah. Placement-level whippersnapper. Yeah, I don't know. I imagine there will be somebody that they'll try, and I mean this in general, of like, hey, we're going to pretend that the projection of the 12 teams is like, dude, I could do this in five minutes. Right.

that fucking hard alabama ohio state clemson texas michigan i just can't wait for the 12 13 14 team arguments yeah maybe tulane and there's gonna be a 14 colorado like a team ranked 14th you're like you stink yeah you haven't beaten anyone yeah and you want a chance for the national championship don't forget about the six point loss to ohio state right when they were up 14 yeah all right ryan you're the best everyone go subscribe to this podcast ryan rassila podcast

And yeah, let's go celebrate your birthday. Sounds good. Mount Rushmore is brought to you by Buffalo Wild Wings. Book your fantasy football draft party at Buffalo Wild Wings to get a fantasy championship ring. Book at buffalowildwings.com slash fantasy. B-dubs is football. Let's go sports bar. Book at buffalowildwings.com slash fantasy. That's buffalowildwings.com slash fantasy.

Okay, Mount Rushmore time. It is getting late and tight in the Mount Rushmore season. We have six Mount Rushmores left. The standings are Max, who's clinched, 61 points. I have 53 points. PFT has 45. Hank has 41.

So Hank is four behind PFT. Yep. Reminder, the points go four, three, two, one. So Hank, if you win this and PFT loses this Mount Rushmore, you'll only be a point behind. So each one matters. It does matter. And I'm not clear either. I could have an all-time choke job and falter down the last six ones. So Hank. We let Hank pick this one. Yep.

He's went with Mount Rushmore of best feelings. And Hank is up first. Weirdly.

Go for it, Hank. Yeah, I'm up first. How are you feeling, Hank? I feel bad. I feel nervous. I feel paranoid. But I feel excited. I'm excited to have the opportunity to try and make the most of the season and go on a late season run. That's football guy talk right there. I'm honored to have the opportunity. Yeah, and you are... Just got to peak at the right time. I am happy that we had the moment of clarity a couple weeks ago, or maybe it was last week,

Where you just came clean on the fact that you're bad at this, so you lash out and you accuse everyone else of everything. Because tonight when we were picking it, you came in and accused us of... Cahoots. Cahoots.

Cahooting against you. There's been a couple times where you're like, pick one, and then I pick one, and then you just say what you want to do. No. We ended up with what you want to do. I know, I know, but that, I was... Okay, wait, wait, wait. Flag. Flag on the play. Thank you, PFC. Because Hank gets coddled to and catered to more than anybody in Mount Rushmore. You have to keep him happy. It's

It's always Big Cat being like, Hank, what do you want to do? Yeah. What do you want to do? What do you want to do? You are coddled when it comes to Mount Rushmore. The only reason I said today. And you know it's true. No. How many of the Mount Rushmores have I picked this year? Hank, the only reason I protested tonight. I think we've done this before. Which was a different one, which we're not doing. But then you admitted that it was too close. Yeah. So I was right. Right. So apologize.

But you still want to do Mount Rushmore? I apologize. I was trying to help you with the other one. No, I said I'm paranoid. I said I'm paranoid. I said I'm paranoid. I said we should do Mount Rushmore. I'm still not not paranoid, but I'll admit that I am paranoid. You're blindly accusing cahoots. I said that we, I offered up, because I did ask you to pick. Felt like cahoots. Well, I asked, I said we should just do the Mount Rushmore of words that start with B so you could pick boobs, one, one. I was trying to be your friend. But I was in the room. This is also nonsense. It doesn't matter for the podcast listeners. Oh, they love this. Are you kidding me?

This was a conversation. I was in the bathroom taking care of business. You guys were in the same room, and Big Cat was usually when he's pressing to do something that he wants to do. All of a sudden, PFT, who was in the same room with Big Cat, it felt like they guys had come to a game plan and then said, you know what, let's make sure. I wasn't pressing. I just said that was a good topic. And I wasn't pressing. I said, let's do B-words so you can get boops. All right, so in conclusion, Hank,

You are paranoid. I told you. When we say, let's don't do this topic, you're like, that's bullshit. Then when we say, yeah, let's do that topic, you're like, what's your answer? It's also bullshit. I know. I was good with it. I'm like, all right. But I felt like cahoots. Usually when you guys let me... It sounds like we can't exist. Okay. It sounds like we can't exist. Usually when you guys are like... EFT is exactly right. I told you I was paranoid.

You are paranoid. Okay, Hank, best feelings, Mount Rushmore. I also feel like I figured out the cahoots, but we can get to it at the end. There's no cahoots. No, we'll get to it at the end because I could be wrong. I probably am. You are.

My motto is anytime, anywhere, anywhere. I'm just running the ball. I'm going with the theme. You know, the listeners, I hope, appreciate it. I'm just going with feeling boobs. I knew he was going to do that. That's why I said the B word. You left a massive gap at the second pick. Now Max gets 1-1. This is your three Mount Rushmore topics that you wanted to do was simple pleasures, best feelings, and then I was like, let's just do B words because you just want to do one that you get boobs. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. I cannot believe. I almost don't even want to take this. What are you doing, Hank? It's crazy he did that. What are you doing? His brain is just thinking boobs. He's like, if I get boobs, I win. That's why we should have done B-words. I know, I know, I know. What was that, Hank? This is the most obvious one. You picked this because of... What happens after you feel the boobs? Yes, that is what feels better. Yeah, but that's just a pressure. That's a high-pressure situation. No, it's not. No.

Having sex. 1-1. What does that include? Sex? What do you want? Like head? Yeah, getting your dick sucked. You want your ass eaten? So this is just going to be like different forms of sex throughout this entire Mount Rushmore? No, no. We'll all get sex and he'll just have feeling boobs. I guess.

All right, so, Max, you get all of sex. Yeah, he can have all of sex. I mean, I don't care. I don't care. All right, you get all of sex. Take all of sex just so it's a little bit of variety on this Mount Rushmore. All of sex except TF. Yeah, he would never pick that. Yeah, you hate that. Do you understand? Yeah, I knew. I realized. I realized. When did you realize?

I just, that's what I said. I'm sticking, I stuck to it. I kind of realized that. I know your brain so well that when you said best feelings, I was like, that's what you guys talked about in the room. All I said was PFT. I meant that conversation happened in the game. Here's exactly the conversation. So I was right about the conversation. No, you weren't. Because you said best feelings and I said PFT. He just wants to take feeling boobs. So why don't we just do B words?

But then why did PFC say feelings? Because he was like... Because honestly, I knew you were going to take boobs and then Max was going to have... And that conversation happened, correct? Correct.

Yeah, because it was obvious what you were doing. It's not cahoots. We just accurately predicted the future. We just know how stupid you are. Yeah, it's not cahoots. But you guys are acting like... When the weatherman's like, it's going to storm later on today. Are you like, that weatherman's in cahoots with God? Let's just get on with it. I think Hank's doing this on purpose for content. The way that that... I cannot believe that you just did that. There's no way you're this dumb. Your vision of cahoots...

You knew what the wrong pick to make was, and you still made it. Well, no, you hear the part where I said I was paranoid? Yeah, he didn't know until after. Yeah, whatever. You still took feeling boobs. Yeah. Which is a good feeling. I'll give you that. Great feeling. Fourth round pick. The best feeling. Yeah.

Okay, so Max has sex and Hank has feeling boobs. It's a good pick, Max. I still don't believe that Hank did that. That had to have been on purpose. Yeah, okay. There's a lot of good feelings. There are a lot of really good feelings. I got a lot of feelings. Me too. Yeah. Okay, I'm going to go with right when you get drunk. That's a good feeling. The moment you get drunk. That's a good feeling. So just being drunk. Yeah. Drinking. Drinking.

Drinking. Drinking is my choice. Okay. Drinking beers. That's a good pick. I like that one. Thank you. I like that one. It's no sex. Okay, so I have two. Okay. All right. When the perfect song comes on.

When the perfect song comes on. It could be at a party in your car. You know when it happens. When the perfect song comes on for the vibe. That would be the exact pick. When the perfect song comes on for the vibe. It could be nostalgia, anything. There's just no better feeling than...

Just like, damn, this song. And then my second one, I'm going to go with the 30 minutes before the NCAA tournament tips off. That's a good pick. Great feeling. Great fucking feeling. Everything's like, I'm going to win everything. This is the best four days of the calendar year. Just love that feeling. Bottle up that feeling. Sell it. I would take it over feeling boobs. Not me. Okay.

You don't like sports. I love sports. And you love women. I love sports. Okay, BFT, your next pick. All right, my next pick is going to be your dog greeting you after you've been gone for a long time. Good pick. Good pick. Had it on there. Yeah. Yeah. The wag at the door. Great moment. Blake does his tail in a circle when he's really happy. Yep. When I get that circle tail going, he cuddles in. Yep. You feel like the king of the world. Jumping on you. Yep.

That's a great pick. Max, meatballs. Oh, that would be great. Picking meatballs in another draft I've won. I'm going to go winning a championship. Yep. Okay. That's a great feeling. As a fan? Great feeling. As a fan or a person playing? I'm just going to say winning a championship. There's a difference, I think. No, you can take it. Winning a championship. Winning a championship. The fans are part of the team. That's true. Yeah. We say we. Big part of the team. They're actually the team. Right. Hank.

I'm going to go with waking up Christmas morning as a kid. Had it. That was going to be my next pick. Good pick, Hank. Here we go. Let's rebuild. And payday. Oh, nice. Yeah. Nice one. Nice one. Especially if you don't pay taxes like Hank. I pay taxes. Payday's extra. That's zero. Okay. Good picks, Hank. Thank you. Kind of bringing this back around. It's a snake. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm going to go leaving work as you start a vacation. Yep. That's a good pick. No, I'll actually push back a little on that just in the fact that I hate traveling. Okay. Like, I like getting to the vacation. Yeah, like opening the hotel room at your vacation. Yeah, like landing at the vacation is my feeling. Arriving at a vacation destination. I don't know. The...

I think it's more so it's less so for us, but more so for people who have like a nine to five, but like five o'clock hits. Yeah. On like, and you're, and you know, you have a week off is got, it's like the best. Yeah. I just hate traveling so much.

All right, I'm going to go similar kind of to Max's pick, quitting a job you hate. It is a great feeling, especially that drive away from work. I remember when I quit my job that I hated, the last job I hated. I don't think I can ever replicate that feeling in my life. Yeah, great one. I would do that over touching boobs all day. Great one. All right, I got two. I got one that I have to do that you guys are probably going to be like, uh.

But I have to do it. But here's the other one. This one tells me this is kind of the inverse of winning a championship. This is showing myself as a loser. But watching your enemies or rivals fail.

is a great fucking feeling. Your enemies or rivals? Yeah, enemies slash rivals. Oh, it's slash rivals. Or lose. I thought you were saying enemies or rival like when Aaron Rodgers went out on the field the first time with the Jets. Yeah, watching your enemies slash rivals lose is such a great feeling. It's just a great, great feeling. Yep. Okay. The Mount Rushmore of hater moves would be a good one. Yeah, that's a good one. That's a good one. All right, I will do...

Okay, I won't do the kids one. I'll save the kid ones for honorable mention. I'll keep it straight here. Walking into a bachelor party. That first...

First night. Like, hour of a bachelor party where it's just, you can't get better vibes. It's similar. You're not hungover yet. It's similar to the NCAA tournament. Yeah, it's just. Where it's like, this is going to be awesome. Old friends you haven't seen in forever. Everyone's ready to fucking rage. No one's, you know, because by like day two, you've already lost a couple people. Yep. There's some stragglers. Day three, you're like, just get me the fuck out of here. But when you walk in, like that Thursday night, ugh.

Drink a million beers. Usually the vibes are so high when you walk in that it ruins the rest of the bachelor party because you drink so much the first time. You try to chase that moment. Should I take Becoming a Parent? I feel like... That wasn't my one. I feel like it's got to be... I might save it for Hank. I'll save it for Hank. Yeah. What do you mean? You can take Becoming a Parent. Why would I take that? Okay. That's a good feeling. I had a parent when I'll save for honorable mentions. I wanted to go straight. I wanted to play on an equal playing ground.

Okay, I will go with... You can take it. I'm not going to take it. You won't. You're right. I won't. I'm going to go with getting a call or text after a first date from somebody that you really like. Nice. When she texts first. Maybe after feeling her boobs? Maybe you haven't felt the boobs yet, but that's a sign that you will feel the boobs. You could be feeling... That's pre-boobs. That's pre-boob. Holy shit. You get really excited about feeling those boobs. That's a great feeling.

Just anything that implies boobs will be felt. Yeah. Yeah. Mine's going to be pretty niche. Okay. But I don't care. I already clinched. When your rival's favorite player signs with your team. Nope. It's the best feeling in the world is hitting a home run. Ah. Okay. I did have a walk-off home run. Yeah. Just like the feeling, like the split-second feeling.

When you know you got one and it's like, fuck yeah, that rocked. Yeah. When it hits perfect. Okay. Hank, your last pick. I will go with finding cash in a pair of pants you haven't worn in a long time. Wow. Okay. Hey, so payday and that you're rich. You're greedy.

Money is great. Yeah, money is a great feeling and either seeing money in your account or you put on a pair of pants. You're like, you know, maybe it's the spring. You haven't worn these shorts since last summer. 20 bucks. Boom. Can I throw one out that I thought you were going to pick there? Sure. I mean, pureing a drive is such a great feeling.

Yeah, it is. Hole-in-one? I'd rather pure a drive. Hole-in-one. Yeah, hole-in-one. I mean, we've never felt that. It'd be stolen valor, yeah. Yeah, that would be stolen valor. But puring a drive was on my list where it's just like when you fucking just crush one down the middle, there's no better feeling. It's true. I thought you'd have at least a golf. Maybe you just don't love golf. No, I don't. Boobs or golf for the rest of your life? Gun to your head.

Can never touch a boob again or can never golf again? Can I do the other stuff? Can never touch a boob again and can never golf again? Wait, did you just admit that sex is better? 3, 2, 1, go. Decide. Yeah, you did. I said that. 3, 2, 1. Golf. Oh, you'd never golf again? You'd never touch a boob again? If I could do the other stuff, I'd never touch a boob again. Wow. Not even over the top. You'd never touch a boob again? I mean, golf, there's a lot of... That's your one-one pick? Yeah, I know, but... And you didn't take any golf. It wasn't like things that you could feel for the rest of your life.

Best feelings in the world. I'd take boobs. Yeah, boobs. Definitely. Boobs are so good. Yeah, they are. They're pretty much the one-one pick in almost every draft. Honorable mentions. My kid one wasn't kids being born. It's actually... Maybe it should have been, but it's watching your kid accomplish something is like the best feeling ever. Like just your kid being happy or feeling like they did something and like being proud of it is...

That one, just bottle up and just be a billionaire overnight. What other ones did you guys have? Falling in love. Falling in love. Good one. Huey. Huey. You're not a boobs or sex guy. You're a love guy. I care about the personality. Yeah. Nailing a parallel parking spot. I had that in front of a crowd, yeah. Yep. When there's people watching you. Finding out that it's going to be a snow day as a kid. Having a great shit.

Just one of those like where you just feel 10 pounds. Yeah, piss too. But when you feel like 10 pounds lighter. Just peeing when you really have to. When you really have to pee. That honestly, that's a really good one. I know. I had a bunch of sleep ones when I realized I didn't want to just do all the sleeping. I had a sleep. But like going to sleep with nothing to do the next morning. With no alarm? Yeah, no alarm. Waking up fully rested. That was the other one. An incredible feeling I haven't felt in forever. What about this one? You guys going over a big jump when you feel it in the bottom of your balls. Yeah.

You know what I'm talking about? On a bike? On a bike or being on a swing set or a roller coaster. Roller coaster, yeah. Getting that tingle at the bottom of your balls. Oh, that one's a good feeling. Hypothetically successfully sneaking into a sporting event is one of the best feelings ever. Breaking the law. Fuck. Should have had breaking the law on the list. Breaking the law and getting away with it is a great one. Getting away with a crime. Sunday night of a long weekend.

That's a great feeling where you're just like your body tells you like, oh, shit, we got to go to. Oh, shit, we don't. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Sunday night of a long weekend. Sunday night. Sunday night when it's you have Monday off. Yeah. It's a great. Yes. The last day of school as a kid. Last day of school. Waking up Sunday after winning that Saturday. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hitting a big hitting a game of the year. Taking off Spanx. Yeah. Let it breathe for a little bit. I took off my Spanx last night after the wedding and I just. Oh, man.

It's incredible. Microwave thing. When you time it. When you time it. Time it perfectly. And you get it right before the thing goes off. Hitting all the traffic lights. Oh, yeah. That's a good one. Good feeling. Being at a game that you know is historic is either a clinching game. Walking into a big game. Yeah. Whoa. That's a great one. Oh, when you see the grass for the first time. That green through the stadium concourse. That's a great one.

Except for when it's like super sunny and you're really hungover. I had one that we've all experienced. A Schwarber home run. Yep. Yeah, that is fun. Great feeling. Great thing to root for. Great fucking feeling. I had when your car starts.

Yeah, maybe niche, but it's a good feeling. Yeah. When the food comes to your table. Yeah. Restaurant. Yeah. Oh, or also when you do the move where you go with the food's taking a while and you go to the bathroom and then you come back and it's there. That's a great feeling when the one that perfectly when the server tells you excellent order. Yeah. Yeah, that's a good feeling. What else? Any any others? Peering a drive.

How do you feel? I think Hanks was good. I think he did a good job. It wasn't bad. Yeah. The red zone countdown clock. The first one of the season. Yeah. The single onion ring in a french fry order. That lucky one. Yeah. It's a great feeling. Going to a post-Super Bowl winning party with the team. Yep. I imagine that would be fun. Ringing a bell at a lighthouse. Leading your favorite sports team onto the field. Yeah. The Patriots also just stole the bell for the Sixers. Why is it a bell?

It's a fair question. Like, what is this? Yeah. Bells are in fucking lighthouses. Lighthouses are a representation of the region of New England. Wait, but hey, you just said that the Patriots were your favorite team. I thought the Celtics were your favorite team. The next one. Say the next one. Your favorite football team. The next championship football team. Making great time on a drive. That's a great feeling. When you're just like, I fucking crushed that drive. I thought of one of, like, I didn't really know how to explain it.

When you get somewhere and a line builds after you, but there's no line. I don't really know how to explain it, but it's a great feeling. That's a great feeling. That's a great, great feeling. Okay. This is a good Mount Rushmore. Donating to charity. Yeah. Matching. Matching. A donation to charity. A co-host who donated to charity. Yeah. But actually better. Great feeling. The matches actually feels better. Doubling and matching. Doubling and matching. Yeah. It feels way better.

Telling everyone you've donated charity feels great. Giving your seat to a troop on a flight in front of Peter King and having him write about it in his football column. Yeah, that's great. It's got to be a good feeling. That's a great feeling. I imagine taking steroids would be a great feeling too. Yeah. Anything with that, Hank? Not yet. That'll be September. Okay. Yeah, because Hank turned to me yesterday and said it might be steroids time. Steroids season. And fake blood. We're going to do something. I'm going to make a call to a former colleague of ours.

All right, good show, boys. Same career path, too. Yeah, we'll see everyone from camp on Wednesday. Let's finish off with numbers. 69 in his honor. 20. 56. 61. 99 pug PFT.

98 pug. Oh yeah, pug got it again. I want this to be 98. He got it for the fifth time. It's gonna be 98. It's pug. It's not the number. 98! No fucking way. No fucking way. Is that 98 or 86? That's 98! At the bottom. It's on the bottom. Oh my god. What the fuck, pug? This fucking guy. What the fuck?

Pug. Maybe it is just me, Pug. Oh my God, you're a fucking magician, dude. Pug is a problem. How did you do that? It's 98. PFT, do you want 98? Yeah, you can take 99 back. No, you just need to have Pug tell you what number to pick. That's insane. Two in a row. It doesn't matter because whatever you pick. Two in a row on different numbers is insane. I got to get out of 99. It's yours again, Pug. This guy just dominates this machine.

I'm hot. I'm hot. Pug. What a legend. Fucking Pug. He's the perfect guy to have this to. Yeah. God damn it, Pug. That's the most impressive thing I've ever seen. Just walks in after six. He's got six. Yeah, you got to go to the Jordan. Six. He's got a... He just... Spread your fingers out, Pug. What are you doing?

There you go. All right. He just walks in at the end of the show and he just gets the number. He just walks out, does Pug things, goes scratching his ears. Plays Mix's Butthole. Yeah. All right. Good job, Pug. Love you guys. Talking away. I don't know what to say. I'll say it anyway. Today's another day to find you. Shying away.

I'll be coming for your love, okay? Shying away. I'll be coming for your love, okay? I'm on the scene. Slowly learning that life is okay. It's no better to be safe than sorry. It's no better to be safe than sorry. Take.

Take a look.