The 2024 Takie Awards, 28 Winners, Guest Presenters + Blake Of The Year
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in the sports media landscape. We have everything. We have Lib of the Year. We have Take of the Year. We have Blake of the Year. We have Viral Woman of the Year. And, of course, Podcast Listeners of the Year. So it's going to be a great show. We're very excited, and it's brought to you by our friends at DraftKings. Not playing best ball at DraftKings, you're missing out. Here's what you need to know. DraftKings Best Ball Millionaire Contest is their biggest fantasy contest ever. We're talking $15 million guaranteed prize.

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It's part of my take present about martial sports.

Welcome to part of my take presented by DraftKings. Get in on all the best ball action. Download the DraftKings app. Use code TAKE. That's code TAKE for all customers who enter the NFL Best Ball 15 Million Millionaire Contest to get a bonus ticket and get a shot at being crowned one of two millionaires only on DraftKings. Today is Wednesday, July 31st, and it is the 2024 Takeys.

Yay. Yeah. All right. So sports. Sports. If anyone is listening to their first take ease, this is our yearly sports award that we do in the middle of summer. It basically goes from the back half of 2023 to 2024. At this moment, we have 28 awards that we are giving out tonight.

It will all culminate in podcast listener of the year award. The AWLs are going for a ninth. Nine Pete. Holy shit. Nine Pete would be a record. It would be a record for most takeys won by anybody. This is like John Wooden, UCLA. Lewis Hamilton. The 20 Yankees. The pyramid of success of listening to part of my take. You're part of it. Yeah. So it's going to be a great award show. We should say, too, if you're listening and you want to watch,

We look good, boys. Wearing suits. Got all kitted up. Boys looking nice. Even the boys in the booth. Yeah. I would say the boys in the booth are looking good. They're looking like...

I would say over three and a half DUIs between them. Yeah, looking good. One of them's not paying child support. Huey definitely looks like a college kid going to court for the first time. Yeah. Like you got a drunken public ticket. Yeah, opening dinner. I'm going to put on a collared shirt, but I'm going to keep the undershirt on. Probably not fully tucked in. Yeah. But it's a good look. And the judge is going to give him a lenient sentence because he's just going to look at him and be like, man, this kid doesn't have a lot going on for him. Well, he's going to look at him and be like...

Your father owns a business. You seem like a good kid. Let's learn from this. Yeah. Max might be the one missing out on child support. I can't see memes. No, Max looks like Huey's lawyer. Yeah, stand up memes. Memes kind of looks like an accountant. Yeah, memes. Memes looks pretty appropriate. Memes looks like a pedophile. Now that I'm thinking about it, because he didn't have his glasses on.

He looks like he's going, yeah, he gets to catch Predator. I was going to say he looks like an Amish kid that went on Rumspringa and had too much fun learning how to do basic Excel operations. Yeah. So he's a former Amish kid that now loves computers and works at a tech firm. Us in here, we look good. Hank?

You look like a playboy, yeah Yeah, you look awesome Whenever you break out the round sunglasses You know Hank is either Ready to do the takeys or Took way too many drugs He looks like a Fact or fiction? Fiction You look like the Beatles drug dealer

Circle glasses play. Squares are too big for my little face. It's kind of like an evil scientist type look, too. You're cooking something weird up. I'm in tech, but I'm really just selling drugs. You look like a futurist. You look like the guy that sits Elon down. He comes in like the banana boat. He brings in a suitcase of ketamine and then tells him what the future is going to be with robots. Yes.

I like that. Okay. That's a good job. That's a good life. We also should have said at the start that in the past we've done cameos this year. We wanted to bring it back home. Not all the time either. Yeah, we haven't done it all year. We did it the last couple of years. But this time we figured let's have our friends of the program, our good friends, recurring guests, participate.

present a couple of the awards. So we have some guest presenters that will be great, uh, for the listeners, see some familiar faces, some friends and, uh, yeah, should we, should we do it? 28 awards to give out. Let's kick into it. Okay. So we're going to start with the, uh,

Take of the year. We're starting off with the... Whoa. Yeah, we're starting off with a bang. Set the stage. You would think the takey's take of the year would be the finale, but... No, not here. That's actually the preemptive take towards the end. Take of the year, we have a lot. We have a lot to get through. I want to laugh about a lot of these. Shout out our good friend, Old Takes Exposed. He helps us with this every single year.

Let's just dive into it. I want to hear what you guys have to think about a lot of these. Okay. Uh, a lot of these are takes that were said maybe a couple of years ago, but they came true this year. So that's when they, you know, a good take usually takes a couple of years to fully grow and become a beautiful tree. And then we can harvest from it. Yeah. You got to give it some time until it becomes flaming hot. Yes. It really reaches the truth. Yeah. So some of the ones that have come true this year that I loved, uh,

This one is from Neil Iyer on SB Nation. This was from February 11th, 2022.

The Derek White trade is a disaster. Sorry, folks. Brad Stevens made his first major mistake as GM. Oh, that's a good take. That's a good take. That's a good take. Disaster. Disaster. And was the trade a disaster because Kyrie Irving was on the team? I don't know what exactly the trade, why it was a disaster, but Derek White was the ultimate glue guy for the Celtics championship run, was it not? And?

And the first year, too. The first year. Yeah. First two years. Yeah. Maybe it was just he was saying, like, Kyrie Irving will never win a championship for the Celtics with this Derek White trade, which might have been true after Kyrie because 2022 Kyrie was already on the nets. Okay. Oh, yeah. Yeah. True. But a disaster. Yeah. Here's one. This will be a theme. Colin Coward is featured many times in this one. This is from 2020. This one was beautiful to watch sprout this year.

I

I don't think you could think of one person that like loves the game more than Anthony Edwards does right now. I love those takes, especially during NFL draft season where they're like, I, he's a great player, but is he really in love with football? Yeah. Would he marry a football? Yeah. Uh, yeah. Anthony Edwards, I would say he, he loves basketball. He had, he had a very good year and he, he clearly cares a lot. And sometimes you don't have to care about, you don't have to love the sport if you just love winning so much that you just don't want to lose in anything you do. Yes. Yes, exactly. Uh,

Here's a good one from Pierce W. Huff. This is a call that should happen. Hey, Monty Williams, this is Brad Stevens with the Celtics. I'm about to fire Joe Missoula. Would you be interested in coaching our team?

That's a great call. That was Coward 2? No, that was Pierce W. Huff. It would be a very funny phone call. Yeah, it would be. Yeah, Monty Williams, although he's pretty good at getting paid. He might be just a good coach at getting paid. That's true. Yeah, I think it worked out well. Yeah, it worked out great. I want to do a little game called Who Said This Quote? You ready for this one? I'm not leaving until I get a Super Bowl.

This is about a player that was drafted to a team. Stefan Diggs. Nope. Oh, drafted. Drafted to a team. I'm not leaving until I get a Super Bowl. I'll say this right now. I could give you a thousand guesses. I don't think you'd get it. Zach Wilson. No. Mack Jones. No. Again, a thousand guesses. I don't think you'd get it. Trey Lance. No. That was said...

Desmond Ritter after getting drafted by the Falcons. Desmond Ritter is now on the Arizona Cardinals. Oh, that's good to know. I didn't know that. Yes, that's good. So he did in fact leave before getting a Super Bowl for the Falcons. In Atlanta. Yeah, you should just never say that as a Falcon.

Yeah, these are all very fun. We addressed this one actually in February, but it's still one that needs to be revisited because in 2019, the Athletic wrote a piece and said, in case you missed it, Patrick Mahomes has thrown 36% of Troy Aikman's career touchdowns in about 8% of the games. And Troy Aikman quote treated that in 2019 and said, in case you missed it, talk to me when he has 33% of my Super Bowl titles.

He now has 100% of his Super Bowl titles. That was tough. But Troy walked that back later. He was like, okay, he did it. Yeah, he did it. He did it. This one is from Nick Wright this May. He said, by the time the Celtics adjust to playing real playoff basketball, the Mavs are going to be up 3-1. Hank?

You like that one? Yeah. Yeah. That's a strong one. That's a strong one. It was Nick, one of the ones leading the charge at the Lakers, were actually the best team in the West. Yeah, he was one of them, yes. And then he pivoted to the Mavs. We get any Kevin O'Connor Celtics takes? I don't think I have any of those. He did say the war. He said every team that the Celtics were playing was going to beat them. Yeah. Basically picked every team to win the championship except the Celtics. He said the Nuggets, there's no chance the Celtics could beat the Nuggets in a seven-game series. A twofer for Cal.

Cal said in February, we're built for March, not April, April. They're built for March. Forgot about Golki. Yeah. And then also, uh, the ad at Kentucky, Mitch Barnhart said, as we normally do at the end of every season, coach Cal and I have had a conversation about the direction of our men's basketball program. And I can confirm that he will return for his 16th season as our head coach. Then something weird happened. Then the chicken, the chicken man, the chicken man gave him a call. Yeah. Um,

These are all just fantastic. Again, shout out to our guy, Old Takes Exposed. We'll rip through a few more and then we'll give you a winner. Mason Dodd said, hate to be the only grown-up in the room. I like this one just because he's admitting he's the only grown-up in the room. Yeah, never a good idea. The memes would love that, based on how he looks. Yeah, hate to be the only grown-up in the room, but Puka Nakua has no upside.

Fifth round rookie wide receiver on bottom five teams. Don't move the needle. I love a guy having a strong take about a fifth round receiver to like hate this pick. Yeah. I don't think this guy's going to be a superstar. You're going out on a limb. And then when it gets cut out from under you, you look like a dumbass. Not only that, but just to be the hate to be the grownup in the room like that really sets you up. Yeah. We had. You never want to be the grownup in the room. No, you never. Nobody likes the grownup in the room. This one you will like Hank Dan Orlovsky.

said in 2021 he believes Belichick will win another Super Bowl with Mac Jones a QB and he said Mac Jones is the best rookie QB that I have ever seen since doing this job when it comes to knowing where to go with the football when to go with the football and how to throw that football

Ever seen. Ever seen. Wait, what are the criteria that he has knowing where to go with football? Where to go with the football? Five yards. When to go with the football? Yeah. Nope. When to go with the football? How to throw the football. How to throw, but he's short. But he doesn't specify actually throwing the football. No. That's the big one. Yeah. So Dan Orlovsky might not be wrong about those three things. With, when, how. Now there is a possibility that Belichick will win a Super Bowl at some point with Mac Jones. That's true.

Can't close that door. Similar to the Cal one, Terryon Arnold, Alabama cornerback, said, Coach Saban ain't going nowhere. He's going to die coaching. That one was nice. RIP. That one was very nice. Max, you'll like these next two. Congratulations to the 2023 NFC East champion Philadelphia Eagles. That was from November 5th, 2023. And also Colin Coward said, he said, let me pull this up.

National League just surrendered to the Phillies, nothing to be ashamed of. That was in 2023 fall. Oh, that was before. Max, how did those go? Not well.

Personal favorite of mine, Chad Johnson said in September, 2023, all you fucking doubter. Yeah. All you fuckers doubting Zach Wilson. Don't jump on our bandwagon later. I didn't. And I won't, I won't. I'm not going to, I never did. Not going to, not going to jump on any bandwagons. There might've been one from the bears from training campus that Sundays are going to be fun. Uh,

And then my last nominee is from Cade McNamara on playing QB for Iowa. Please just keep on saying it's the shittiest offense in college football. Please just think we are going to be so shitty next year. Please. That's a lot of pleases. Yeah. And they're, I mean, they had a great punting system this year. Yeah. Great punting system. Great return game.

Yeah. That's about it. Yeah, good punning. Do you guys remember any of your takes that were notably bad? I don't think I had a single bad one this year. Yeah, I don't think so either. I think I was 100% accurate. I might have said Justin Fields is the guy 100 times, but I also walked that back. I might have said Sam Howell's the guy. I might have said that there's no way the Celtics are going to lose to Luka or beat Luka. Yeah. Hank?

I had a good year. Yeah, actually, you did because you either won or were terrible. Yeah, so the lighthouse was real. Yeah, well, we'll get to that. We have a takey for that. All right, so drum roll. The winner for the 2024 Take of the Year Takey

is Dan Orlovsky. Congratulations. Dan Orlovsky, incredible, saying he believes Belichick will win another Super Bowl with Mac Jones at QB. Mac Jones is the best rookie QB that I've ever seen since doing this job when it comes to knowing where to go with the football, when to go with the football, and how to throw that football.

Ever seen is just something you should not. Ever seen is crazy. That's what it... It was like the sixth QB draft that it was class. Yeah, it was between that and the hate to be the adult in the room where I think the two finalists... Because it's not... To win the take of the year, you have to really say something in it that is so...

absolute that it's like, come on, man. Ever seen. The adult in the room is a tough one because you're already crowning yourself by introducing your point that way. The Orlovsky take about Mac Jones is noteworthy just because of how badly Mac Jones flamed out this year. You get benched multiple times for Bailey Zappi. It's tough to say

Well, you know what? Maybe he was a great... Maybe we're misremembering. Maybe we're allowing the recent history of Mac Jones to not remember how great he was. How great he was, yeah. We'll always have that season. I also am now thinking about it. I don't think there's ever been an adult in a room that has argued about a fifth round draft pick. No. No, that's the exact opposite of being an adult in a room.

The adult in the room says, why are you guys arguing over a fifth round draft pick? Yeah. This is crazy. Yeah. I hate to be the only one with a level head on my shoulders, but let's have an argument about Puka Nakua. Yeah. Okay. PFT, you have our next award. Yeah. Next up we're doing, this is an award that I absolutely love. Yep. We've done it, I believe every year. Maybe not the first one, but it's the lib of the year award. Lib of the year. And we've got a stacked roster of nominees. First off,

Chris Long. Oh. For a career excellence in libness. This is a... Lifetime achievement award. Lifetime achievement award. It's a participation trophy. How many lib of the years has he won? I believe two or three. Yeah, he's... He libs... He libs hard. He's like the bagel bites. Pizza in the morning, pizza in the evening. He just libs. Pizz... Lib in the morning, lib in the evening, lib at suppertime. Yeah, he's got the lib-strong wristbands that he wears all the time. Chris Long's nominated...

Travis Kelsey also nominated. Yeah. His outstanding work in commercial performances. Yeah, the Pfizer, trying to get the shot. Yep. How much do you think he got paid for that? Uh...

Four million. Probably a lot. Probably a lot. Four million? I'd say more. Do you think he got free shots for life? You should. Yeah. You should. Yeah. Also nominated, we have Billy Football. Oh. Nominated for Lib of the Year. What did he do? He ran for office against a bunch of Republicans. Oh, he must be a big Lib. Must be a big Lib then. Yeah. And then final nominee is Jersey Jerry. Jersey Jerry is nominated for Lib of the Year. He's talked on live streams a lot about how much he loves Joey B.

Yep. He's his guy. Yeah, he's actually been saying he's been walking around the office being like, oh, you guys got to just trust in Mamala. Yep. Mamala is that's that's.

That's his goat. So we have a very special presenter for Lib of the Year, political commentator Nick Adams, USA, from Australia. G'day, boys. Nick Adams, alpha male here. Now, this next award goes out to the most over-soyed Marxist on barstool staff. It's called the Lib of the Year. The Lib of the Year.

This is a man, and I use that term lightly, who took dozens of hours to get a single hole in one on a golf simulator and takes his marching orders from pro-communist unions. I can confidently say he hasn't stepped foot inside a Hooters in at least 10 years.

Without further ado, the 2024 Lib of the Year Award goes to Jersey Jerry. You should be ashamed of yourself, son. Oh.

Oh, that's beautiful. Thank you, Nick. I appreciate that. Jerry. We'll see if Jerry's, I just texted him to see if he can come accept it because I have to imagine he's so excited about this. Yeah, he's named after a state that I can't remember the last time they went red. That's true. That's true. Jersey Jerry. What a lib. Big lib. That's what, when I think of libs, I think of Jerry first. 100%, yeah. First and foremost. He drives a foreign car. Yeah, that is, yeah. Interesting. Yeah. Ah.

I heard he actually is a vegetarian now. Yes. No, vegan. Vegan Jersey Jerry's. Vegan Jersey Jerry's is what they're calling him. Interesting. Yeah. Okay. Great award. We'll get Jerry to stop in when he gets in here to accept that award. I'd like to just see his face, how he reacts to that. Next up, we have Death of the Year.

Big year for death. Death, it put up some numbers. Huge year for death. We had that string the weekend where it was Monty Kiffin, Shannon Doherty, and Richard Simmons all in one weekend. It was like, what's going on? But the nominees, we have Richard Simmons, dead. Let's remember that he's dead. Yeah. He was one of those. He was definitely in the camp of...

You could have told me he was dead five years ago. We've been like, sure. Yeah. He would have been a great football coach. I think. Yeah. Yeah. For one year. Motivator for one year. Yeah. And then once things go wrong in the locker room, you're like, get this guy out of here. Yeah. We lost OJ Simpson this year.

Rest. Yes. Toby Keith. Very sad. Yeah, Toby Keith. Legend. Yep. Love Toby Keith. And then we also lost Matthew Perry, who is nominated for Death of the Year. Talented Mr. Roto? No, Matthew Perry. Perry with a P. Matthew Perry. Yeah. Okay. The winner for Death of the Year for 2024 Takey is...

OJ Simpson. Congrats, OJ. You're dead, bitch. You're dead. You're dead. You're so dead. Sorry. Much, much, much better football player than human being. Yeah. And he's dead. And he's very dead. He's also extremely dead. He's so fucking dead. So dead. Let the record show OJ is fucking dead. Me?

I wouldn't die. Remember when Hank found out that OJ died because then that was that was one of my favorite parts of the year. We got action with that clip in. That was an incredible. That was that was in midst of Hank either missing shows because he was sleeping too late or he was all over the place sleeping. Yeah. You actually you missed OJ's death. Yeah. OJ died. Did you know that?

What? OJ died, yeah. Oh, nice. We get to break the news to Eric. OJ's dead. OJ Simpson? OJ Simpson dead. How? Dead. Died by death. Dead. That's confirmed. Confirmed dead. Everyone's been talking about it. Very dead. That's insane. He is dead. He ain't coming back. Wow. I wish we hadn't told him. Yeah. See how long could he go without knowing. It was back of the week on Monday. Wow. So, Hank, you didn't know OJ died? No. What are your thoughts on OJ?

Bad guy. Yeah. Good riddance. And woke up at 11 a.m. one day on a show day and found out that OJ died. I hope everybody out there had the pleasure and the opportunity of getting to break the OJ death news to somebody. Yes. That was an honor to do that to Hank. Yes. Yes. I didn't believe it. Yeah. No, he's dead. Won the trophy and everything. Dead person of the year. Dead person of the year.

We should get Death back on the podcast. I agree. Recurring guest. We got to find him. So, yeah. What would you say for, like, you don't want him to rest in peace? No, rest in piss. Rest in piss. Yeah, rest in piss. RIP Bozo, rest in piss. He won't be missed. Yeah, welcome to hell, bitch. Smoking on that Simpson pack. Hell is your offensive line being 120 pounds, and you got to pound the rock. I don't think OJ would have held up over a 17-game season. Agreed.

Especially 18 too. Yeah, couldn't play in today's NFL. Someone threw out the idea, which I kind of liked. Actually, I take it back. I don't like it, but it was interesting. 18-game season, every player can only play a maximum of 16 games.

Oh, I like that. But then I was like, I don't like it because it would way too many excuses and it would really suck to be excited about a game and be like, fuck. Now we're watching Desmond Ritter. Yeah. I like it in theory because it just it's chaos. Yeah, it's it would be strategy would be awesome. Like 17. You can't do two games.

Everyone has to sit out one week? Yeah. This sounds a lot like Little League where everybody gets to play. And I was thinking about... The more I was thinking about it, I was like, all right, I liked it at first, and then I thought...

I definitely would get fucked because I'd bet a line on Monday, and then they'd be like, this is the game we're throwing. Yeah. And I'd get fucked. Yeah, there's a- I'd be so furious. A lot of reasons why that probably wouldn't work out in reality, but it's fun to think about. It's a fun idea. It's a thought experiment. It's a very good greeny rule. This is how dudes use our imagination. Yeah. We just think about wrinkles to the 18-game season puzzle. Yeah. 18 games is so good. We should get like a-

What was the movie where they were cracking the code for the Nazis? Or they were cracking the code of the Nazis? The Imitation Game. We need that. We need a camp with nerds trying to figure out the perfect 18-game schedule. It would be very funny, though, to see if they did have that rule where each player could only play 16 games, the dumbest coaches would think that they had it figured out. Correct. And they completely screw it up. Correct. That would be like Mike McCarthy.

would absolutely fuck that idea up. Yes, absolutely. Yeah, one week he'd sit his entire defense down

Next week sit his entire offense. He'd sit Dak and CeeDee Lamb at the same time. Yeah. And be like, we're using this as an opportunity to see what a roster's going to look like next season. Yeah. And then the week that they don't sit, like they would sit Dak and CeeDee Lamb, and then a different week he would sit the entire offensive line. Yeah. Dak would get killed. Yeah. It was like, God damn it, Mike McCarthy. Our computer guys told us this was the right move. Yeah. Okay, next up. Next up we have the lighthouse of the year. Ooh.

The Lighthouse of the Year. A lot of good lighthouses out there. This is a huge year. Maybe the biggest year in the history of this show for lighthouses. I'd say they're having a moment. The nominees are...

To the Lighthouse, the book. Oh. Nominated. It's a great book. Was that the book we got him? I got him? I don't know. Did I get you a book? You bought Hank. That's the meanest thing you could do. Yeah. It was a children's book. Okay. Was it about lighthouses? It was about lighthouses. Yeah, we read it. It was in the old office. Yeah, yeah. Okay, that book is also nominated. Okay. Whatever that book was called. Hank, you remember it? Mm-hmm. What was it called? I don't know. Okay. I remember the book. I don't remember the name. I remember seeing a book. You saw a book and you ran the other direction. Yeah.

Hank's seen so many books in his life. Hank thinks See Something, Say Something is about books. Yeah. Hank, do you own any books? I do. What books do you own in your home? Hank sees a backpack full of books and he calls the cops. I have a Larry Bird biography that I've read like 10 pages of at multiple points. Hey, listen, I've started over 40 books in the last five years, not finished a single one of them. So I'm with you on that.

I have a book about habit that I'm also trying to read about breaking bad habits. Okay, but you can't focus enough to... No, nope, nope. I've read it before, though. Wait. Like 10 years ago. So you have read it.

Why are you rereading the book about Brent Dillard? Because it didn't work. Is this Sisyphus? Pushing it up. Yeah, pushing it up. Hank trying to start a book about having good habits that would help him read a book in a timely fashion. Is there spark notes to this book? I don't know. There's an audio book. I've downloaded that too. And you still haven't gotten to it?

No. I love that. I love that for you. So we've got two lighthouse books nominated. We've got the Cape Hatteras Lighthouse in North Carolina. Ooh. The tallest lighthouse in the United States. Okay. According to the United States Coast Guard. Respect the military and the troops. The old lighthouse at Gillette Stadium is nominated. It was a great lighthouse. It was awesome. Everyone loved it. They won championships. They won Super Bowls with that lighthouse. Then the new Gillette lighthouse is also nominated. Okay.

The losingest lighthouse in the history of the New England Patriots by far. Yes. Mickey Mouse cartoon lighthouse. Hank, fact or fiction, things have gone badly since the new lighthouse came out. No, the new lighthouse was last year and they had gone badly two years ago, but they haven't gotten better yet. I'd say they got worse. They fired a whole new coach. Bill Belichick is no longer your coach. You lost a legendary quarterback who throws...

When, where, how, he knows where to put it. Things were all coming together with Mac Jones, the best rookie quarterback season of all time. And then you just got rid of all that. And now you're shit. And now you have a quarterback that it looks like he throws a heavy ball. Yeah. So the winner of the 2024 Lighthouse of the Year is the old Lighthouse. That Lighthouse was awesome. Real one. It was a real one.

multiple Super Bowl dynasty the dynasty lighthouse so PFT hold on one sec chair stay right there if the new lighthouse didn't win could someone say that it's not even a lighthouse it's not a lighthouse it should not have been nominated yeah because it's a fake light well you also nominated a book which isn't a lighthouse it's a your new lighthouse is a giant butt plug and it sucks and everyone hates it no don't win football games it's a great lighthouse I have a question you ever think you're gonna like the lighthouse

I have a question. Yeah. Okay. If I was hypothetically asked to be the keeper of the lighthouse for a Thursday preseason game... Yeah? In August... Yeah? Could I do it? What does keeping a lighthouse entail? Lighting the light. Are you just standing at the top being like, no, this is a real lighthouse? Yeah. It's real to me. Yeah. Hank, I give you permission to be the keeper of the lighthouse... Against maybe the Eagles. If...

If you read a book about a lighthouse. Yeah. Full book. Okay. And you finish your habits book. Okay. Okay. Yes. All right. Good. All right. So congrats to that lighthouse. Congrats to the old lighthouse.

What a wonderful lighthouse you were. We have winner here, Jersey Jerry. He's going to accept his award. He also forgot his wallet. He's been looking for it. Jerry, we're doing the takeys right now, the 2024 takeys. You have won an award. Thank you. Which comes with a cash prize as well. Oh, here we go. Right up my alley. You love cash. Yeah, you love cash. That's off, but we'll be all right. Would you like to know what award you won? Yeah, of course. Okay, PFT. You won the Lib of the Year Award.

For all your work in the liberal community Pro-union guy Pro-union guy, you're a big mamala guy No I'm not You're asking for handouts I'm not, no I'm not a lib, that's number one You won the award Who voted on this? Many voters It was a true democracy Yeah

So there will be a graphic that says Lib of the Year, Jersey Jerry. Jerry's trying to rig the vote. Very Lib of him. Very Lib. Oh, whoops. I don't want to accept the award. Okay, well, you can't not accept it. Yeah. It's been given to you. You hate meritocracy. You hate the fact that you won something. Oh, I think Jerry's a participation trophy guy, a true Lib. He wants everyone to win the award. That's true. I don't. I don't think I've ever even asked to be put.

Up for this award. Oh, wow. No, no one asked to be nominated. Also, Jerry, aren't you happy? The voting for the takees is secretive and some may say a coup, which is exactly what you people do. I don't do any of that. Okay. I don't do any of that stuff. Like zero. I don't even want to talk about what my theories and stuff are, but my theories are anti-lib.

I don't know. It seems like the case has been laid pretty clearly. Yeah. You look like a lip. Oh, look at Jerry. He's so happy he's won this award. He's just trying to give it to everyone else in sight. Give it to Hank. No, no, no. You're wearing a hat from Pittsburgh. Yeah. You love the Steelers. Yep. Unions. Where's Joe Budden from? Delaware. Delaware.

I believe he's from Scranton, Pennsylvania. Yeah, he's from Pennsylvania. Oh, is he? Yeah, yeah. You are on the record saying you're a Joey B guy. Yes, but. Yeah, okay. All right. There we go. Okay. That was Burrow. Thank you, Jerry. Live of the year. Live of the year. Congratulations. I will, Jerry, in lieu of a cash prize, I will be donating your cash prize to the Democratic Party. Oh, yeah. They just got $90 million. They'll be good. Yeah, you asked for that before. So, like you said, your words, not mine. Mamala's going all the way.

She is. He just said she is. Yeah, yeah. He said she is. Yep. Lib of the year. Jersey Jerry. All right. Where were we? Lighthouse. We just said Lighthouse. We were awarded to the old Lighthouse, yeah. Okay, next up. Big one. Viral woman of the year. Ooh. A lot of viral women. A lot of viral women this year. Herpes Joe Kang. Yeah. Allegedly. Pam Anderson confirmed.

Oh, hepatitis, too. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. C or B. Which one would you prefer? Yeah, you choose. B. I think that's the wrong one. I think she might have C. Yeah, I think she has C. So now you have B. Viral Woman of the Year. We have The Chargers fan.

Remember her? Yeah, she was really into the Chargers. That was crazy. She's a plant. That was nuts. She's a paid actor. Industry plant. Paid actress. Yeah. The craziest. I still don't really know what happened there. We have Hawk Chua Girl. She's burning bright. That is as viral as viral gets. Yeah. Lena the Plug.

Yep. Went viral. Probably very viral. Yep. That was a crazy story. That was a moment. What was the story? Adam 22 let a guy fuck his wife. Yeah, on camera, in front of him, for the podcast. And then got mad about his wife getting fucked. Yeah. People made fun of him. And it, again, don't want to say that we play the game the right way, but you don't see us, any of us getting fucked on camera. You will never. For views. You will never see that. No one wants to fuck us on camera. Maybe Huey.

I'd watch video. Look at him. Yeah, I would. I don't want him to, but I would. If you put it in front of me and you're like, check this out.

Huey's laying pipe. You wouldn't look away? I would have to look. I'd have to look. It'd be morbid curiosity. We would never stoop to the level of a podcast like No Jumper and have one person on our podcast try to get set up with another guest on our podcast. Right, exactly. That's disgusting. And I don't think it should happen. Yeah. And then finally, the Oilers fan. Yeah. For her viral moments.

Almost getting them to a Stanley Cup. She was great. She was great. I really appreciate that moment. She was great. Okay, so we have a special guest, our good friend Paul Bissonette, giving us the winner of Viral Woman of the Year.

Oh, pardon my take fans. Paul Bissonnette here from the Spittin' Chicklets podcast for a very special announcement. It is an honor to have been selected to hand out an award for the 2024 Takey Awards. And I will be presenting today the 2024 Takey Award for most viral woman. And some of you are going to be shocked by the winner, but I don't care.

And without further ado, drumroll please. Get that spit off my face. And the winner of the 2024 Takey Award for Most Viral Woman goes to...

Oilers girl cake. Those luscious tits made so many people happy on the internet. It propelled the Edmonton Oilers to a long playoff run that just fell short, but she still deserves a ring based on those beautiful boobies. Now, some of you, I know what you're saying. Hawk Tua deserved this, but just you remember, Oilers girl walked so Hawk Tua could run. And that's a wrap. Okay, so congratulations. Congratulations.

So the Oilers fan. Very happy for her. The A-Cups. She went on spitting chiclets. She's R.A.'s girlfriend. She's R.A.'s girlfriend. So incredible viral run for her. And also, I appreciated it when she came out so strongly against the haters. Yes. That really made me think. Yes. Okay, what do we have next? Next up, we have the Joe of the Year. Joe of the Year. A lot of great Joes this year. Big year for Joes. Huge year for Joes.

First nominee is Joe Mizzoula, coach of the Boston Celtics. Best friend. Stepfather to Henry Lockwood. Hank's best friend. He poured beer on you. Joe Biden also nominated for Joe. Pouring honey on him. Wait, what? You're pouring honey on Joe Biden? On Joe Mizzoula. You poured honey on him? Goat.

Wait, is that the LeBron reference where it's like pour honey on him and then pray for the bear? LeBron posted on Instagram and said if me and the bear are in the same forest, pray for the bear or whatever. Yeah. And then Shannon Sharp commented, I'm pouring honey on you, goat. Yeah. Pouring honey on Joe. How fast would Joe Mazzulla kick your ass if you poured honey on him? Very fast. That would be an awesome. He was ready to kick my ass when I was putting on sunscreen. He's probably trained. Yeah.

Joe Biden also nominated for Joe of the Year. Still alive. For being still alive. Still alive. We think. Jojo Siwa nominated for Joe of the Year. Don't know who that is. If you have two Joes, do you have one? Who is Jojo Siwa? I know. She's a talker, YouTuber. Dancer. Dancer. Love it. Love her work. Love her work in the Joker. Reality TV star. What'd she do this year? She did... I forget what show it was called. It was on ABC. It was like...

She's on Disney Channel. Disney Channel, yeah, that's what I was about to say. Oh, yeah, yeah, Disney Channel. She just had a big year. She sounds like a big JoJo Siwa fan. She was on a show that they advertised during Sunday Night Football every week. Ah, that show. A show that, is it the one where they... Sorry, we were watching football. Well, it was a commercial of football. Yeah, I'm still thinking about football. Yeah, I'm thinking about what I just watched. Yeah. Okay, JoJo Siwa nominated for Joe of the Year. Also nominated for Joe of the Year, Joel Embiid. Oh! He is a Joe. Yeah.

He had a pretty big year. He went all the way to the conference finals. Conference semifinals. Conference quarterfinals. Conference quarterfinals. He just had a really good game in the Olympic Exhibition. Oh, that's great. He had a great game against Germany in the Olympic Exhibition game. On a super team. Yeah. So, huge year. That's probably the most important game he's ever played in. That actually, we did the voting before that game. This might change him. This kind of sways things. Yeah. But the JoJo Stewart blew up on Dance Moms.

She's a mom? No, she was the dancer. Oh, she had a mom. Yeah. Yeah, so she was a dancer. She was a dancer with a mom. They don't make those anymore. That's a great idea for a show. What is that show? Dance Moms? It's like the children. She was like a young child. It's a creepy show. It's a very creepy show. It's a very, very creepy show. It's about the moms of the kids.

Okay. I would say Honey Boo Boo Adjacent. Yes. Special Forces World's Toughest Test on Fox. That was the show. Special Forces World's Toughest Test on Sunday Night Football. They were advertising for Fox. No, it must have been wild. Yeah. So whatever. You know what I mean? It's fine. Jojo Siwa. Big fan. Huge. This podcast is. There should be a podcast mom show. Yeah.

I was thinking like we just do a TV dad show. It's just my kids watching TV. A TV show about kids watching TV? It's me turning on the TV. And then Bluey's on. Yeah.

And then it's like, all right. And that was the episode. When you were talking about Bluey, I had no idea what a drug Bluey was for kids. Oh, yeah. But I had... There was a friend that came into town. Their five-year-old stayed with us. And the kid was, like, jumping all over the basement, like, punching walls, throwing stuff around, just in a bad mood. I go down there. I turn on Bluey. Yeah. And it's, like, hypnotized. It's also the greatest show ever created because it's seven minutes long. So you can tell a kid, hey...

You get to watch three more Blueys. That feels like a million to a kid, and they're like, three more. Yeah, Bluey's a drug. I'll never run out. 20 minutes. Done. Bluey is a drug for kids, for sure. So here to present- Bluey's a girl. Wait, she is? Yeah. That just fucking blew my mind. Yeah, bingo. They're sisters. Also, very funny because they did a really good job with Bluey. Bluey's dad works at the airport.

Okay. He's a drug sniffing dog. That's fun. And his blue is my dad's a narc. Yeah, I guess so. Maybe bomb sniffing dog. And then his mom is an archaeologist bone sniffing dog. Yes. I like that. Pretty cool. That's very good. Pretty cool. They did a good job. One of them should work in the White House. Next up.

We have the presenter for the Joe of the Year Award, our good friend, Joe Buck. Hey, I'm at Dick's Sporting Goods, so it is my distinct honor to present the 2024 Takey Award to the Dick of the Year. He's right. I'm Joe.

And it's my honor to present the 2024 Takey Award to the Joe of the Year, to Joe Mazzulla, the Boston Celtics head coach. Congratulations, Joe. Incredible video. Wait, can we pause real quick? Let's take a second to admire Joe Buck's outfit. Yeah, I thought it was jean shorts at first. I don't know if it is. I'm going to choose to believe these are jean shorts. Yeah. Because this is the best dad outfit I've ever seen in my entire life. Well, this is like his St. Louis is really showing.

Yeah. He's wearing jean shorts tucked in with a belt. Tucked in t-shirt. Yeah. To jean shorts. Dad hat. Yeah. He looks great. And his son hit the moonwalk. Yeah.

We love Joe. Joe is one of our favorite recurring guests. Can't tell the history of Pardon My Take without Joe Buck. And he actually didn't take any, when I texted him asking him for this, he didn't take any offense that he wasn't nominated for Joe of the Year. That's okay. He knows he had an off year. Yeah, he's got something to aspire for. Yeah. Aspire to. Yeah, he did have an off year. He called zero games where someone almost died. Yep. Sad. So kind of set the bar and he wasn't able to live up to it.

Very sad. Congratulations, Hank, to your best friend. Did you tell him? I did tell him. Yeah? What'd he say? He hasn't responded yet. Oh! Best friends. That's just best friend language. Yeah. You guys don't have to talk for the best friend. He's probably upset that he won the award. He's going to get complacent. That's true. Did we poison the Celtics by giving him Joe of the Year? That would be a real shame. That would be a real shame. Okay, next up. Girlfriend of the Year. Girlfriend of the Year. Big time award.

We have some big-time nominees. First up, it is Taylor Swift. Was very prominently during the football season. Matt Smith? What? For dating Matt Smith?

Oh, no. But she did do that, and he was problematic. Wait, Mattie Healy? Mattie Healy, yeah. Come on, Hank. Get up on your lure. Yeah, come on. She started dating Travis Kelsey this year. Some may say Travis Kelsey is Taylor Swift's boyfriend. Depends on the season, I would say. Right now, he's boyfriend. He's boyfriend. Football season, she's girlfriend. I mean, Travis has a good case for boyfriend of the year, too. Yeah, that's true. That's true. Okay.

Kyle Filipowski's girlfriend. They've been together for a long time. No one put in more work than her. And everything played out perfectly. Yeah. Like she is the mastermind, to use a Taylor Swift lyric. She plotted this out and now he's in Utah. Yeah. Minus the whole part of him slipping out of the first round because of people questioning their relationship. Yeah. Yeah.

Still don't really know how Duke was able to keep that under wraps for two years. It's very strange. Very, very strange. She also nursed him back to health, though. So let's give her some credit after he had that devastating leg injury after the court storming. That's true. He came back in record time, and some people thought he was dead. Yeah. And then, finally, Jake Browning's girlfriend, who took the league by storm in week 17 in Joe Burrow's box. Yeah. It was...

I remember where I was when I watched that. Yeah. Very nice lady. Okay, so we have a guest presenter for Girlfriend of the Year. Is she anyone's girlfriend? Not to my knowledge. Okay. Has she ever been someone's girlfriend? Sure she has been. Okay. Definitely. At some point? Would she also say that she was a girlfriend? In her life? Yeah, definitely. Would she say recently she's been a girlfriend? I don't know the answer to that. Okay. But she's currently no one's girlfriend?

I don't know the answer to that either. When was the last time she was someone's girlfriend? I don't know the answer to that either. Okay. Have you ever been someone's boyfriend, Hank? Have I? Yeah. And Tiffany, the mystery presenter, has at one point been someone's girlfriend. Yeah. That's kind of a coincidence. That is a coincidence. It seems like that's almost... Wild. Like it's a key in a hole. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. Like a knee in a wall. Let's go to our guest presenter for Girlfriend of the Year. Hey, guys. Tiffany Gomez here to present to you your 2024 Girlfriend of the Year Takey Award. Nominees are Miss Taylor Swift. No explanation needed. Jake Browning's girlfriend, Stephanie Niles, that went viral for her white bodysuit. And lastly, Kyle Filipowski's girlfriend, which I think we all know.

And I think we all know it's not going to win. Lastly, I think I'd be in the running if someone didn't fumble, but not mentioning any names. But nonetheless, our winner is Miss Taylor Swift. Okay. What? Incredible. Great work. Great work, Tiffany. Tiff. We love Tiff. Go Moss. Go Moss. You should rekindle that. We kind of have. Yeah. Just really. Yeah. How? He's checked in.

Yeah. I mean, I don't want to get into specifics, but... You checked in? Well, he had to... She can't check in. He had to hit her up.

She's not allowed to. FAA. That's true. She wanted to go to Paris for the Olympics. With you? Too soon. Oh, man. It's like this week. She invited you to France, the most romantic country in the world? Would have been a great place to get down on one knee. She also DM'd him on TikTok. Oh, yeah. Hey, Max. Max does know all the DMs on TikTok that Hank gets. Yeah, somehow Max has logged into my TikTok, which I don't really use, but...

I just get emails whenever Hank gets a DM on TikTok. Oh, I love it. And I was with Big Cat and I was like, look, Hank just got a DM. What did the DM say? I can't see what the DM says. I just get an email that says, you have received a direct message from TikTok by Tiffany Gomas. Gomas. I think the DM said, I want to go to Paris in a lope. Yeah. No. Marry me. Yeah. Yes or no? False. If she proposed to you...

You'd have to say yes. Yeah. Okay, nice. I don't have that in me to say no. Yeah, right. You'd figure it out later. Say yes in the moment. Yeah. That would be a hell of a wedding. Yeah. Could be Destination. That would be great. It would be fun.

Okay. Also, I think Jerry O'Connell would possibly be a bridesmaid. No, he'd have to marry it. No, because he'd get to the part where it's like, speak now or forever, hold your peace. And he'd be like, I object. Yeah. I personally object. Me. I'm here. I should be Hank. Okay, next up. The kiss the bride part he would love. Oh, yeah. If he'd get involved, it would be a triple kiss. Yeah. He'd need like a little sheet to stand behind for the kiss the bride. Sounds like a movie.

Next up. Next up, we have Dom of the Year. Dom of the Year. Great award. This is the first year that we've ever presented this. But we've got some good nominees here. First up is Big Dom. Oh, yeah. The Fluffy Eagles. Fluffy Eagles. Remember when he got kicked out of that game that rocked? Show your football. Oh, yeah. My football is somewhere. Where's my football? Oh, I got it. Where's my football? Dom said, he said, my paisans game ball presented to Big Cat from Big Dom.

Incredible. He's the best. He is the best. We were going to actually get him to try to be a guest presenter, and then we decided, you know what? Let's not burn that relationship with something as frivolous as the Takeys. Not that the Takeys are frivolous. To Big Dom, they wouldn't. But we would want... He's a football guy. First time Big Dom comes on the show, needs to be in person, and we have to have at least 45 minutes with him. And also, a lot of chicken parm. Yep. Shitloads of chicken parm.

Big Dom nominated. Okay. Also nominated. Dom of the Year. Yes. The Dom of the Year from last year from the viral Dave Portnoy. Pizza Review. Yes. Yes, which was he just kept on yelling Dom of the Year, Dom of the Year. That guy, self-anointed Dom of the Year. Self-anointed.

Next up, we have Max's nephew. Yes. Named Dom. Dominic Delente. Shout out, baby Dom. Shout out, baby Dom. Baby Dom. I love that. I think we should, I think right now, I don't know who wins Dom of the Year, but similar to like when Nick Saban gives a scholarship offer to like a five-year-old, I think we should give an internship offer to Dominic Delente. I'm okay with that. I love that. In 18 years' time, he has an open internship offer.

Dominic Delente. You sign him up right now. Lock him up. Yep. Big moment for baby Dom right now. That's a huge moment. Huge moment for baby Dom. Now, the problem is it's going to be Huey and memes hosting this show. It's going to be no one listening, but he will be an intern. Yeah, we're ending Italian unemployment one baby at a time. Yes. He's got a job. Also nominated for Dom of the Year is...

Taylor Swift. Yeah. Interesting. She kind of wears the pants in that relationship. Yeah. She's just one girlfriend of the year, so could she go back-to-back? We'll see. We've never had a back-to-back. You haven't? We've never had a back-to-back. You had a back-to-back? I've never had a back-to-back. Yeah. What is that? If that was a number, would that be a 96? You'd be 96-ing? 11.

No, that's spooning. No, back to back. Back to back? Spooning would be more like... 7-7? Yeah, something like that. Back to back is in and out. Back to back. I think back to back is 9-6. I think it's 9-6. Is back to back one of the scariest phrases you can say to a short man? Yes. 100%. Also because I watched Reckoning for a Dream one time. And back to back has a different meaning there. Yeah. Okay. So, the Dom of the Year award goes to...

Big Dom. Yes. Big Dom. Big Dom. Huge work in the field of Dom-ness.

You crushed it, man. You crushed it. The Eagles couldn't win without you. Yeah. Took the world by storm. The season fell apart the minute Big Dom got off that sideline. He got a massive promotion. Yep. He's now director of what? All of football? I think he just is the Philadelphia Eagles. Yeah. He's the build the whole team out of Big Dom. Yep. Yeah. Could win a lot of games. What is he, Max? What's his actual... Max just searched Big Dom promotion. You'd think you'd have this. In charge of game day coaching?

He's coaching? Eagles add game day coaching operation title to Dom DeSandro's growing responsibilities. I think they did this so he can't get kicked out anymore. They should also make him director of sanitation. Yes. Yes. Okay. Big Dom upgrade. Eagles security chief Dom DeSandro receives promotion to make it harder for NFL discipline him. I love that. After 2023 ban.

They basically are protecting Dom. That's really solid, yeah. Yeah. I mean, players should be promoted to some sort of coaching title to make it harder for discipline. I feel like Goodell's going to do whatever the equivalent of a RICO act will be for the Eagles. Yeah, don't say nothing. He's trying to take down the whole operation. Okay, next up, Italian of the Year. Big year for Italians. Big, big year.

We had one of the Italians that took the world by storm. Tommy DeVito is nominated. Tommy. He had a couple of really good games. It was so much fun. That Monday night game, the world was going crazy. Everyone was doing the fingers. Yep. And his family. It was the perfect time and place. We knew that it probably wasn't going to last forever, but when it was happening, we were just embracing it.

We also have Big Dom. Big Dom. Has been nominated. Huge, huge work. Can we do the back-to-back? First time ever. Also nominated, Caitlin Clark. People don't realize she's Italian. Half Italian. She's half Italian. Good play for Italy. Italian. A great Italian-American who is growing the game of women's basketball. And finally, we have Sean Stilato, Tommy DeVito's agent, who is a recurring guest, and

And he couldn't be more Italian if he tried. Already a Hall of Famer. Yeah, Italian Hall of Fame. You see, he met the Pope. He did meet the Pope. That was the most Italian thing ever. Yeah. That was probably a big, big day. But yeah, he came in when he was being inducted into the Italian Sports Hall of Fame that is located in Chicago. So congrats to Sean. We have a special guest who is presenting this award. We do. Is she Italian? Yeah.

She is. Oh. It's Diana Rossini. Also a great reporter. Great reporter. Thorough. Very thorough. Very accurate. Memes was just booed. Oh, memes. She's our guest presenter, memes. Guess what? She just got another source. Wow, memes? You booed our presenter? Damn. Okay. Let's play the video.

Oh, hi! I'm Italian reporter Diana Marie Rossini, here to present the Italian of the year. Whether you're 100% Italian like me, or you just like to be like Giada and sprinkle in your Italian words like "Garama", "Muzzarello", "Gabagool", or if you're like PFT and you're 1% Sicilian, or perhaps you're offspring like Big Cat,

Has a little meatball in him. It doesn't matter. Everybody knows all Italians love three things. We love to eat, we love to love, and we love to fight. Which is why this year, the Italian of the Year goes to Big Dom with the Philadelphia Eagles. We still have no idea what your job is.

I like that she added the Marie. Yeah, the Marie. Really, Diana Marie Rossini. How many vowels can you end in names? It's important to add that in there. I also like how she was stirring up pasta, but it was pasta salad. Yeah. It looked good. Yeah, it did. Yeah. Congratulations. Dom has won the first ever back-to-back takeies. That's very impressive for Dom. Big Dom. He came onto the scene. I actually think this is a bad job. Big Dom.

Coming on the scene of the NFL this year showed what a bad job we did as NFL fans. Correct. And NFL podcasters. The fact that we did not already know about Big Dom was a massive blind spot in this show. Yes. So we do apologize for that. I also blame Max for not bringing Big Dom. Yeah, you should have told us. You should have told us. What part of Big Dom's life made you think that we would not want to be interested in him? The second we laid eyes on him, we're like, we love this guy to death.

I don't know. It never came up. Yeah. What else are you hiding from us, Max? Seriously. Don't worry about it. Okay. There's definitely another Italian. Yeah, there's some Phillies or something. You got a guy. We got to fucking know this guy. Okay. Next award. Actually, let's do a quick ad. The Takeys are presented by Coors Light.

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Golden Colorado Coors Light, the best beer in the world, the coldest beer in the world. We love Coors Light. Thank you to Coors Light. We couldn't do the Takeys. We couldn't do PMT without Coors Light. So go crack open a nice cold Coors Light. You know what? If you're listening to the Takeys, go get a Coors Light right now. It will help chill you out for the rest of the Takeys. We've got a lot of awards still coming up. So thank you to Coors Light. Okay, next up. Next up, we have a very important award.

It's the Why Didn't They Put a Guy on That Shooter Award. Oh. And we've got some great nominees. Okay. First up, Dante DiVincenzo. Mm-hmm. He was electric at the end of that game against the 76ers.

Also very Italian. Yes, extremely. I mean, you got the triple threat. You got the Italian guy. You got the Villanova guy. And you got the New York Knicks guy just taking Max out. Yes. It was a bad day for Max. We also have Peyton Pritchard nominated for his outstanding performance in the last second of quarters. Just put a guy on him. Why didn't you put a guy on that shooter? Next up, we have...

Trump's assassin. Should have put a guy on him. Yep. Definitely should have put a guy on him. Should have put a guy on him. I think they saw him on the roof. A guy should have been there. Sloped roof. Where were the guys? Should have put a guy on him. Is he an assassin? Attempted assassin. Would be assassin. Would be assassin. I think you can't give him that title. He's a shooter. Yeah, he doesn't get assassin. Yeah, just ass. Yeah. And also nominated is Zach Golke.

Jack, sorry, Jack Golke. That's okay. Jack Golke. Jack Golke. Now you got it. I got it. Put a guy in that guy. Cal big time. Put a guy on that. I should have put a guy on Jack. He didn't know the Jack Golke is wetter than wet. And the winner of the, why didn't they put a man on that shooter award is Jack Golke. Yes. Jack Golke. Congrats, Jack.

Great work. They should have put a guy on you, though. Golke was, I mean, he was made in a lab for March Madness. Get a hand in his face. Just the perfect, I really do think that the NCAA, like, for all the hand-wringing of, like, the game is changing so much. Make a Jack Golke rule.

That basically we just get to vote on like five guys every March Madness that no matter their eligibility, they get to stay another year. It'd be nice. Because Jack Golke this year would be such a fun story to watch. Just turn on a random Oakland game and be like, oh, Jack Golke's going off again. The thing is, Jack Golke could beat anybody on the right night. Yes. He can. He showed that. Yep. He showed that. Okay, next award up. This is a doozy, boys.

Because we might have a back-to-back winner. Another one? No, not back-to-back, but back-to-back years. It is the still-alive person of the year Tommy Lasorda Memorial. Tommy Lasorda John Madden Memorial. I think Queen Elizabeth, too.

No, fuck her. Yeah. Bill Russell. Lizzie's in a box. In a box. In a box. Lizzie's in a box. In a box. In a box. We have given this award every single year, I think, most years, the takeys, and a lot of times the person dies that year. Yeah. Who was the first one?

I don't remember. Who did we actually go see death about? Lasorda. Lasorda. Lasorda. Yes, it might have been Lasorda. So it might be the Tommy Lasorda Award. Either way, the still alive person of the year. This is a person you can't believe is still alive. The nominees are Joe Biden. Possibly. Still alive. Still alive. By the time this airs. He's like a... We are taping this a week before we air it. He's like step alive. Okay. Or like a...

He's like a divorced dad. He's alive every other weekend. And we don't want to jinx this, by the way. We don't want any of these people to die. We don't want this to become a jinx thing. Joe Biden's still alive. Donald Trump's still alive. Yep. By inches. By inches. Nancy Pelosi's still alive. Physically. Physically still alive. Cannons. What? I don't get it. I mean, heck, you, you cannons.

Yeah, I wasn't familiar with their game. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Cannons, cannons, cannons, cannons. Mitch McConnell still alive as long as they keep plugging him back in. Turkey.

Turkey. Turkey. Gobbler. Gobbler. Turtle. Turtle, yeah. And Jimmy Carter, who won it last year. Now, this would be an amazing run and still alive for Jimmy Carter because I believe he's been in hospice for like two years. We talked about it when it happened, but his grandson said that there are some days he just doesn't wake up, which is a telltale sign of being dead.

That's true. Not waking up is dead. Or you could be hibernating. Yeah. So some days he just doesn't wake up. But without further ado, the still alive person of the year for 2024 is Jimmy Carter. Again, back to back championship for Jimmy Carter. He's outlasted the still alive person of the year. He won it last year. He stayed alive for the entire year. Again, we are taping this seven days before we air it. Who knows?

But he's still alive. Memes just sent the picture of Nancy Pelosi in the group chat. Cannons, right? Respect. Yeah, respect. It's respectful cannons. It's respectful cannons. Yeah. Hey, come on. Yeah, no. Guy like you? Guy like you with those glasses on? Looking right. Looking right. She looking right. Okay, so Jimmy Carter...

wins still a live person of the year. Unbelievable. I think he can do a three-peat. If anybody can do it, it's Jimmy. It would be unprecedented. I don't think anyone would be able to top it. I don't even know if anyone would be able to top a two-peat. Has anybody ever been not dead for three years? I don't think so. I don't think so.

And again, he is half dead. Listen, Jimmy's set up right now. He really is. Okay, next up. Next up we have Scout of the Year. Ooh. The Scout of the Year Award. Okay. The nominees are Tony Scheffler's Cat. Yes, Scouty. Scouty, great barn cat. Yep. Reproductive. Kills all those birds. All the anonymous scout quotes. Yes. That come out before the draft every year. They're always fun to read. Yeah, they were heavy on my guy, Caleb Williams, this year. Yeah. Does he love football?

Who's to say? We don't know. And then Connor Stallions. Connor Stallions. One of the craziest stories. Like, we don't give it enough credit how crazy that story is. I know there's a Netflix documentary coming out. I can't wait for that. I cannot wait for that. And I actually think the person we have presenting is part of it. Oh, he's going to be in it? He's going to be in it. Okay. Can I just watch a single documentary about sports on TV without Dave Portnoy showing up? He is in it, and he is presenting this award. I now...

I texted him to ask him for this. I have not watched it, so we're watching it all together, and I'm guessing he might be ad-libbing a little bit about Michigan. Let's see. Okay, here he is, our presenter for Scout of the Year. Hey, this is Captain Dave, proudly here to present the 2024 takey for Scout of the Year, a scout, an important, honest, upstanding member of any organization whose job in the military, in the Navy, honestly,

On the football field, scout the opponent, give any clues, anything you can give to help your team succeed. Nobody exemplified the American spirit, the Marine spirit, the football spirit, the Michigan man spirit more than Connor Stallions. Proud to award him the 2024 Scout of the Year. National champs. Go Blue!

Yeah. All right. Congrats. Dave looks like an old sailor now. Yeah. I don't know what's going on with his hair. He's got the beard. His beard. The sunburn. The hat. What's that? There's a logo. What is the logo? Gordon Fisherman. Is that it? He looks a little bit like the Gordon Fisherman. Yeah. He does. All due respect. But Connor Stallion. Connor Stallion, great human being. Incredible, incredible story. He is scout of the year. Incredible story. Like...

You said that like it was an inspiring... It is. It's a very inspiring story. When he was growing up, all he wanted to do was help Michigan football win a national championship. And he set a plan into place where he joined the United States Marines, learned recon tactics, and then took that, wrote a fucking manifesto

joined his way onto the Michigan football program first as like an unpaid assistant, just like a volunteer, worked his way up into the point where he was providing actual information about their opponents based on him sneaking into games and shit with tactics he learned in the Marines. And they won a national championship. It's a great story. It's as simple as this, Hank. He wrote a manifesto and didn't kill anyone.

That's hard to do. People write manifestos. They kill people. Manifesto is a bad thing. Conor Stallion's wrote a manifesto and all his dreams came true. Yeah, we should be thanking our lucky stars that he is obsessed with college football and not some weird corner of the internet that we don't even know about yet. Didn't we get a story? Oh, yes. Now this is flashing back at beer games. A couple guys who were on the Michigan team.

said after they won the national title, which was where was it played? Was it LA? Houston? No, Houston. They went out after. They were out at a bar, maybe a strip club. I'm going to say bar. And in the corner of that bar, maybe strip club, Connor Stallions was just sitting there and he kind of did like a good job and gave him like a hat tip and was like, job well done. I love that. And they're like, how the fuck was he here?

So he's everywhere. Yeah. Huey is a Michigan man. What is your what are your thoughts on Connor Stallion? He's a great man. I mean, just a hero to the community. I mean, I let him watch my kids if I had one. OK. OK. That's huge.

Would you watch your kids if you had one? I'd probably give it to him. Okay, yeah. All right, so there it is. So not only did he just win a takey, he won Huey's Future Child. Yeah, any good Michigan man should just volunteer their firstborn to Connor Stallion's game. Yes. It really is maybe my favorite college football story ever. It was incredible. It was incredible. Okay, great award. Next up, we have Gambler of the Year. Wow. Big one. A lot of good gamblers this year. So the nominees are Jonte Porter.

for getting suspended from the nba lifetime suspension yeah for betting his own props and taking himself out of games yeah uh he hit all his all his bets right yeah i think so so he's a pretty good gambler yeah he was a good gambler he's a yeah he had a system he almost went tout uh pro athletes just shouldn't be on discord like that leave it leave leave the discord for the nerds yeah also what was he doing on discord

He was in a gambling group, and I think that's how it happened. They kind of like... They had the receipts? Yeah. And they were probably the ones telling him, like, yo, we got a way to make some money. Also... Just don't get more than four rebounds. Right. Crazy for him to, like...

I feel like if you're a starter in the NBA and you did this, it'd be very hard to prove. When you're Jonte Porter, it's very easy to prove because he played such little minutes. And no one bets his props. That was really where he was. Right.

Right. And then it's $100,000 on his prop in a random February game and he's coming out with a fake shoulder injury. Yeah, every other player that is getting the minutes that he was getting would not take themselves out of the game for anything. Correct. It's like, I need every minute. Give me every minute that I'm promised. And he was just like, no, my eye hurts. Yeah. Ow, my eye. Great excuse, by the way. Yeah. Great excuse. Shohei Otani.

Gambler of the Year, alleged. Great work. Yes. Shohei's interpreter also up for Gambler of the Year, not alleged. Yeah, the forensic accountants came back and they said that the Ipe, right? Ipe. Ipe. It was all Ipe. Shohei had no idea whatsoever. But I hope that

at least on the winnings on the bets that he did win maybe Ipe broke him off a little something yeah just cut him off a little something uh Dave Portnoy is actually uh nominated for gambler of the year because he had his stretch where he won pretty much every single bet Michigan UConn uh

Who else? Celtics. Over a million dollars four times. Yeah. All huge underdogs. Insane. Yeah. I didn't have that conversation with him that it was like this is the year of the chalk and you became the hottest gambler. But that's, you know. Results are results. Results are results. You never give back a winner. You never do. Doesn't matter. Yeah. Because when you lose, people let you know about it. Correct. So you have to let them know when you get one right. And you still got to put the money out. And he had the Oilers into the... That wasn't a chalk. He had them into game seven. Yeah. Yeah.

we have all of the lions. If you remember, uh, it was basically the entire lion secondary Jameson Williams. Uh,

They had to cut a couple guys. Now, I still think they got screwed because all they did was they didn't bet on the NFL. They just logged onto their gambling account while at the Lions facility. You got to have an IT guy who's better than that. Yeah, so the IT, it's supposed to be like geofence, right? Yeah. Like if you're an IT guy, you block those websites, those apps. Or you just...

Pretend it never happened. On company property. Yeah. Well, I don't know. I think it was... The NFL has it? It was the NFL that had it. So, all the Lions. Okay, so who do we have to present this award? So, to present this award, we have our legend, our living legend, Stu Feiner. Yes.

The winner of the 2024 TC Award for Best Gambler is Shohei Otani and his interpreter, Opepe. I fucking love you from Stupina. Okay. First of all, congratulations, Shohei, and his interpreter. Double award.

What happened in that video? Why is he next to the loudest highway ever? And it looks like he's in the snow. How did he know to record this? It's rocks. I thought it was snow too at first though, but I think it's just rocks. So I think what it is is I think his son- That records a video every day. I know. And that was like muffled. I think his son is opening a restaurant. So he's like, oh, I might as well get promotion of this highway video. Yeah.

In a restaurant that's not open? I don't know. I don't know. I love stew. I love stew, too. I don't think that's the name of the restaurant. Oh, no. It's actually open. It is open. I don't think that's the name of the restaurant. It isn't? It's like cork in something. No, I think his son is working in marketing for this restaurant. Got it. That's what I think it was. But he was like, got to go next to a highway. And so this is for marketing. I was hoping for the pool for Beedon. I know. I really was, too. God damn it. It's okay. The pool would have been great. Or fireworks. Or fireworks.

Great balance.

28 days. Exploded. That's just a bomb.

I don't think that's fireworks. I think Stu just built a bomb. Yeah, Stu also just being back in our lives come football season is just such a... It's great. I just need him back in my life. Okay, next up, PFT. Actually, why don't you do an ad and then we'll do the next award. Next up, we have an award coming right after this ad, as Big Cat said. And this show is brought to you by Shady Rays. I'm rocking my Shady Rays right now. Shady Rays are the official sunglasses sponsor of Pardon My Take.

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Okay, PFT, what do we have next? We carry on in the show. Yes. With an award for the startup of the year. Ooh. Startup of the year. A lot of good startups this year. Vandy Woodhead 2.0. Yes. I actually had that thought last night. Yeah, because when we got Vandy and we were like, what are we going to do with it? And you're like, don't worry, I'm going to get on it. It's been a while. Are you on it?

No, but I'm ready to get on it. Oh, okay. You're ready to hop on it. After Grit Week. You're ready to get on it. Okay, so what was the thought that you had last night? That he's ready to get on it. Danny Woodhead's in the fucking garage. Shit. Oh, that was your thought. I need to get on it. And you were the one who... You made the biggest mistake because when Vanny showed up, you took ownership.

Did I? Yeah, you did. You said, we're going to do so many ad deals. We're going to do this. We're going to do that. And I said, great. Whatever you want to do, I'm in. Sounds like you got a plan. And you're like, yeah, I got a plan. Okay. I will have a plan. 2025. That thing will be on the road driving souped up. At some point in 2025?

Next by next spring summer. Spring summer. Are you talking in Jaloon? When we do the 2025 take ease, will we be able to do some of it from Vanny Woodhead? Yes. I mean, we could do some right now. I should have phrased it differently. Some of it from Vanny Woodhead on the highway. Yes. Okay. This is just Hank's preemptive take of the year. Yeah. It's going to be ready to go. You don't believe me, Max?

No. I believe more in this than your dunking, for sure. I'll give him that. I think that's a very fair thing to say. Yeah. Because you can switch out parts on the car. It's way more likely that this gets done than the dunk. Yeah, for sure. But the fact that you're saying 2025 doesn't give me a lot of confidence. Well, no. We have to get it fixed. No, it's like I have to find someone. Stop saying we.

Wait, who owns it? No one. Oh. Literally, it doesn't exist. Well, at that point, I'm not. You got to do the administrative shit. No, no, no. What? No. Wait, what did administrative? I don't. Absolutely not. You were the one that got it back here. No, I didn't. No, I didn't. I had nothing to do with it getting back here. Zero. The last I had to do with Benny Woodhead was I was paying $1,000.

Like hundreds of dollars in insurance. And I gave it to Billy. I said, get it off my insurance and get it off the road and go to a chop shop. And he said, done. And then it came back to life because he just never did that. Shocker. And then everything from that moment, I have not had anything to do with. Where have I had anything to do with it? Why did it just spawn here? I have no idea. I'm not. You took responsibility for any fact fiction. Fact-ish. I had said my goodbyes.

fact ish okay well but i'm i'm ready to now fully take full responsibility going forward this is like in my 2025 it'll be on the road driving memes you got to get but you guys are gonna have to do stuff in it you got to get the adam silver meme going it's uh it's to to hubie get get ready to learn how titles work buddy because you're 100 just throwing this at him

I'm going to get it fixed first. Okay. You're going to get it fixed before you get it actually registered? I don't know. That's the administrative. I'm not the most administrative guy. I can figure out getting it fixed, getting it sold, and getting it like... I'm pretty confident that Hubie is going to be pretty good at the administrative stuff. Yeah, me too. He's going to be really good. He's going to be running all over the city. Yeah. Here's my concern. Maybe we turn into the Pugmobile. It doesn't sound like Hank's excited about Fanny Woodhead anymore. I am. No, I am. I just kind of forgot about it.

Till last night. Yeah, I had like the... There's a car in there. Yeah. But the potential is still there. Yeah. Okay. That's all that matters. So start up the year. Start up the year. I guess that's for next year then. Yeah. That would be the start up for 2025. Yeah. It's not an overnight thing. Rome wasn't built in a day. Or months. Yeah, we got five months. How long did it take to build Rome? No one really says that. I don't know. I don't really think about the Roman Empire. Yeah. Yeah.

But yeah, Hank, listen, you've had months already, but what concerns me is you immediately punted to 2025. Yeah. Spring, summer-ish. I don't know how many construction projects you guys have been a part of, but it's not like something that you can just... Have you seen that van? You gave yourself a year deadline. Six months. No, you said spring, summer-ish. That could be August. June 9th was the arrival of Vanny Woodhead here.

Okay. All right. So by June 9th, 2025. Okay. So it's the anniversary. That's fair. Got it. Startup of the year nominee, Booper, a social media app for dogs. Oh. Where dogs can connect and become friends with each other on there. Great idea. I like that. Not to be confused with Blooper, that fat fuck. And then the final startup of the year nominee is Darren Revell's new business, Clit.

Oh. Clit. It's the collectibles licensing that brand. It's Clit. It's called Clit. On the stock market, it's Clit. Yeah, the logo, when you look at it, it's Clit. Clit. It's Clit. So Darren Revelle's Clit is nominated for Startup of the Year as well. Okay. And the winner is... Yeah. Darren Revelle's Clit.

Yeah! Congratulations, Darren Revelle. Darren Revelle doesn't... You finally won a takey. I do love that he doesn't think about sex so much that he didn't even think for a second it looked like Click. Because it does. Yeah, it looks exactly like Click. The name is Click. The logo is Click. Yeah. And it never even dawned on me. Well, Revelle's never seen one before. No. Okay. Congrats, Darren. I think that might be his first takey. He's probably won a takey before. Oh, yeah. Next up is a big one.

Plane Passenger of the Year. We had a big year in plane travel. Plane riding? Plane riding. So, the nominees are our own Max Talente for...

His two sodas. Burrito. Burrito. Techno music. Farts. Honestly, the techno music is maybe one of the more wild wrinkles of that whole story. Just hungover as hell. Blasting techno. I was just... And you can't move. Like, you know, you can't, like... He's having, like... I was just vibing.

Having some mental party on a plane while you're hungover is shit. I kind of want now. She's got to mind her own business a little bit on that plane. Just worry about yourself. I kind of want now to have, we should have Max create a techno album. Yeah, call it Burrito, Techno, Two Sodas and Farts. Finance, Six Eyes, Blue Eyes.

You could do it, Max. All right. So Max is nominated. DJs, hit me up. Our good friend, not girlfriend of Hank.

Tiffany Gomez. Yeah, congratulations, Tiffany. She was an incredible plane passenger this year. And she's been a great plane passenger since then. Yes. I mean, everyone talks about the time she got kicked off. No one talks about all the successful flights that she's been on. Yeah, what the fuck? Since that happened. Yeah, all the times that it hasn't gone that poorly. And then finally, the guy pissing with the weirdest grip ever. He was told that he couldn't use the bathroom upon takeoff, and he just started pissing in the middle of the aisle.

That guy rocks. Can I say something controversial? Yeah. I understand where he's coming from. Oh, that's not controversial at all. Okay, okay, good. I don't. I understand. There have been times in the past year where we're in the plane, the plane is yet to reach its cruising altitude, seatbelt light's on, and I got to go really bad. Like, really, really bad.

Emergency level. And I've been told, no, go back to your seat. I did not pull my penis out and pee onto the aisle of the plane. But I'd be lying if the thought didn't occur to me to do that. Did you get up and then get told to sat down? Because I feel like if you really had to go, especially if he was in the first row, you can basically just look the other way from the flight attendant and just get in the bathroom. And then when you come out, you're in trouble, but you're... Yeah, at least you've done it. Like, worst case scenario, like, that's only in an emergency situation, but...

You kind of have to, like, if you really, worst case emergency, like, you could make it happen. There was a flight that- Without having to, like, you know, whip it out. I know that Hank was on this flight with me. I don't know if Big Cat or Max were, but I remember making eye contact with Hank on this flight. And we got delayed on the tarmac for, like, 30 minutes.

I got up after like 20 because I'm like, I got to take a piss. So I get up and I get told no. They're like, go sit back down. We turn the seatbelt light on. We're about to take off. And so I'm like, okay, I guess I'll just listen to you. I turn around, go back to the seat, wait there another like 20 minutes passes. Yep. And I get up again and the flight attendant's like, please stop. And

And I was like, it's an emergency. I got to go. And so I just walked past her, went to the bathroom, peed, came out. Then 10 minutes later, we took off. But she was trying to, she was holding my piss hostage at that point. That should be included on the passenger's bill of rights. If you got to go, you got to go. Agreed. Yeah. The only mistake this gentleman made was... I would just piss my pants and knock out in the felony. Yeah.

Yeah, the pissing your pants, registering as a sex offender probably. Yeah, not good. Not worth it. Not good. So, to present Plane Passenger of the Year, we have our good friend, Jerry O'Connell. Hello, I'm Jerry O'Connell, actor, TV presenter, and AWL. I am here today to name the winner of the 2024 Takey for Passenger of the Year. Without further ado, the winner is Tiffany Gomez. Tiffany Gomez.

To accept the award for Tiffany is me, Jerry O'Connell, actor, TV presenter, and AWL. Tiffany gave me a message to convey to the world, but I would personally like to take a moment and convey a message of my own to you, Tiffany Gomez.

Tiffany, to fully comprehend the impact you've made, we need to start around 3500 BC with the invention of the wheel. Around 2000 BC, humans began using horses for travel. 1783 AD, the hot air balloon. Around 1800, the first steam locomotives, automobiles later in the 1800s. And in 1903, the Wright brothers made their first controlled flight.

There was some space travel after that that we'll skip past because we need to get to that fateful day of July 2nd, 2023, the day passenger transport changed forever. On July 2nd, Tiffany boarded flight 1009 from Dallas-Fort Worth to Orlando when a family member stole Tiffany's AirPods and Tiffany told us that motherfucker was not real.

There was a reason Tiffany was getting the fuck off, and they can believe it or they cannot believe it. Tiffany doesn't give two fucks, but Tiffany was telling us right then that that motherfucker, that motherfucker back there was not real. We thank you, Tiffany. We thank you for warning everyone. I mean, yeah, everyone did have to deplane and go through security again. The flight was delayed like three hours. We could have had two sodas in that time, but we want you to have this takey for passenger of the year.

Finally, I'd like to speak to Hank. Hanky, you blew it.

You could have been with Tiffany, the 2024 takey winner, but you blew it, bing bong. Huey's WNBA takes are better than your whale takes, bing bong. You eat scrambled eggs like a child, you call them scrambies, bing bong. Your boat driving sucks, take another class, hanky. You can't do multiplication tables, pay your taxes, hanky, bing bong. Stop talking about the duck boat, no one cares. Summer of Hank is almost over, give Tiffany her airpods back.

Your short game sucks. That's it, guys. Sorry, guys. It's for a podcast. It's a joke. It makes no sense. J.O.C., the legend. He's awesome. Congrats to Tiffany Gomas. Well-deserved. Well-earned. He was so, so excited to present that award to her. Yes. No one better than him and Tiffany Gomas. Hank. Yes. Actually, I have no more questions about Tiffany Gomas. Would you like to accept it on her behalf? Yes. Yes.

And then, but knowing that if you accept it on her behalf, you have to at some point give it to her. Yes, I'll accept on her behalf. I love that. I love that. I love that. I'm honored as her representative. Nice. And you can't wait to give it to her. And I can't wait to present this award to her. Yes. Again? I can't wait to present this award to her. Okay. All right. Next up, we have the partnership of the year. Oh. Big year for partnerships this year. The nominees are.

Go on. The Live PGA Partnership. Yes. We're taking steps. We're mending fences. We're coming up with agreements. There was a demand letter, I think. There was an outline that was put into place and agreed upon. But they are partnered. They are partnered. And they're getting closer to a true partnership. Okay. Also nominated for Partnership of the Year, Hank and Tiffany Gomez. Oh. They've been nominated. Also nominated for Partnership of the Year.

Hank and Max in Mount Rushmore. Oh, a contentious Mount Rushmore season that did not go well. It's a good partnership. It was also great. The highlight was when Max went on vacation and blew it for our whole team. No, when Hank blamed Max for sucking and then Hank went on vacation and Max brought him all the way back. Well, he went on vacation and then I won like three in a row and then I went on vacation and we lost everyone. But in Hank's defense, he was hung over that one time we had to do a Mount Rushmore at 8 p.m. on a Sunday. That was your fault. That was your fault.

Which is a weekend. I think that's where the debate started. It did, yeah. Also nominated. And we did like three Mount Rushmore, whatever. Oh, no. God. Let's relitigate. We had to clock in and put a hard day's work in at the podcasting factory. That was also Hank last summer. He was summer Hank last summer. It was great. Last summer was amazing. Yeah. Because you had that month where I hadn't moved yet. No one was here.

And we just did the podcast and that was it. Yeah, just ripped it up. Also nominated for Partnership of the Year, we have Hank and Joe Mazzulla. Oh. Good partner, rubbing honey on each other. Not on speaking terms right now. No, it's okay. Does it say red? No, it just delivered. Also nominated for Partnership of the Year, we have Hank and Goff.

Good partnership. One of the best partnerships. One loves the other a little bit more, though. Yeah. I feel like it's one-sided. There's a promising future. I think there's buy-in now. As long as you don't golf on camera. Even that, though, I'm due. It's really the on-camera that you're bad at. I'm due. I'm due. Yeah. I'm happy to have bad film out there, because then when I get good, it's going to be that much sweeter. Okay. Also nominated for Partnership of the Year, Hank and Gravity. Keeping them down. Gravity. That one's kind of dragging you down. That one you can sell. Yeah. Yeah. Sell that one. Okay. And the winner of Partnership of the Year is...

Goes to...

The Live PGA Tour. Oh, congratulations to the Live PGA Tour. Yeah. And PFT, explain to me what their partnership is now? Their partnership is that they have an outline that they've agreed to and an arrangement and a skeleton clause that they've put in, and it seems like things are progressing. Wow. They're basically the same organization right now. Yeah. Who do you think would be more nerve-wracking to sit next to on a plane, the founders of the Live Tour or Tiffany?

All-time bad passengers. Live. Live. Probably. Yeah. Not all time. One time. Well, it was a pretty big day in American history, Hank. No.

Come on, Hank. I was talking about Tiffany. Oh, you're talking about Tiffany. Okay. All right. Okay. Congrats to Liv and PGA. Next up, we have a very special award. It is Ratio of the Year, one of our favorite awards to give out every single year. I will read the tweets and also tell you what the quote tweets are for Ratio of the Year. The nominees are Jonathan Ross, who said Prediction.

AI will displace social drinking within five years. Just as alcohol is a social disinhibitor, like the Steve Martin movie Roxanne, people use AI-powered earbuds to help them socialize. At first we'll view it as creepy, but it will quickly become superior to alcohol. So five years, no more beer.

We're just going to be robots. We're just going to wear ear pods. Yeah, that sounds awful. 2.6 thousand quote tweets. This guy sounds like he just smashes the AI button for every product. Yeah. Every problem that he has. Yeah. 7.7 million views on that one. That one was quite something. This one is just funny because it was a woman said, the flex I like to see, and it was a kid saying,

holding a sign that said, I read a thousand books, thousand books club before kindergarten. So it's a five-year-old. Yeah. Is that, I don't know. I'm not an expert on kids. Do they typically read before kindergarten? No, they don't know how to read before kindergarten, but the ratio is, so this person tweeted it. They had 67 million,

views 5,000 quote tweets on it. And the best quote tweet was someone said, no footage, just a piece of paper. He a fraud like Wilt. Talking about Wilt Chamberlain. I love that. Great, a great, great reply. Next up we have the quote tweet of our coworkers winning a championship, the Boston Celtics fans in the office.

who had for the 18th time the Boston Seltzer NBA champions as everyone just shakes hands like they're coming off of the 18th hole. I could have been there before. 22 million views, 3.2 thousand quote tweets.

And one of the best one is perfect example of why spoiled franchises across all sports don't deserve to win. I've celebrated first downs harder than this. Yeah. There were a lot of people saying like I've celebrated a touchdown for my backup running back in a fantasy league harder than this. Yeah. It does infuriate me looking at how much success Boston sports has had where this is how they celebrate a championship. Yeah.

So that was quite something. This one is anonymous. It has 9.6 thousand quote tweets, 38 million views. It says if Taylor Swift is going to be taking over our Sundays, I'm going to need to see a sex tape. These are my demands at part of my take. Okay. I don't recognize who is this guy. Yeah.

Yeah, I don't recognize it. He looks like a terrible... Who's that guy? Credit to me for not deleting it. Yeah, you got to leave it up. Got to leave it up because if you take it down, then the terrorists will have won. Yeah, exactly. 38 million views. Last one.

This one is from the storyteller. She said Keanu Reeves would totally shit himself if anyone actually tried to kill him, let alone thousands of evil hitmen. He's just a makeup wearing salesman and what he's selling are lies. Violence isn't sexy. Death isn't easy and karma won't get you. Keanu, try selling truth.

Try selling truth. Stop acting. Yeah. 16,000 quote tweets. That's pretty good. Hank, that kind of blew your mind. 1,600, sorry. Did you not realize that Keanu Reeves was an actor? No, I mean, I can't believe that someone would come to that conclusion, or that's how they would feel after watching John Wick. Yeah. This isn't real. Yeah. It's a good reminder. Some people need to turn their brains off sometimes. Yes, that would be true. It's a movie. It is a movie. Fact. Actually, movies.

The ratio of the year, you know, we were going to give it to the Celtics fans, but I'm looking at these numbers. Do I have to take it? I had 10,000 quote tweets. That's a lot of quote tweets. Okay. For the record, Big Cat, do you want to see a sex tape? No. Would you watch a sex tape? Yes.

I think if a sex tape was put in front of you. Yeah. Honestly, if you took any male and any female and had a sex tape and you said, here are these people having sex and just showed it to me, I would look regardless of who it was. Yeah. If it was in front of me. Yes. So do I have to give it to myself? Yeah. I didn't want to just because I didn't want to start it all over again. Yeah.

Okay, so I won. Ratio of the year. I got ratioed to hell. Congratulations. Holy fuck. When Meme sent me that, he's like, I'm sorry about what I'm about to send. And I hadn't thought about it for probably four months. Yeah. And I looked at it and I was like, oh my God, the numbers are staggering. Now, did you think you gained followers or lost followers? Lost probably. Yeah. Probably lost. Yeah. Hey, listen, we all say things. We do. I stand by it.

I stand by it. You know what, Big Cat? It's because you were acting in that clip. Try selling truth instead. That's true. If a gunman came to me and said, hey, you got to be on a sex tape, I probably would be like, I come too fast. Self-truth. Yeah. Okay, what do we have next? Next up, we have the WNBA Rookie of the Year. Oh, my God. There's a lot of good options here. We've never given this award. No, it's the first time ever. Thank you to Caitlin Clarke for growing the game. Or thank you to Angel Reese. Or thank you to whoever. Or thank you to Cameron Brink. Oh, okay.

Those are the nominees. Oh! Kaitlyn Clark, Angel Reese, people watch the WNBA for her too, and Cameron Brink are the nominees. And the winner of the WNBA Rookie of the Year Award...

It's Cameron Brink. Wow! Cameron Brink, I think she has grown the game. And Huey, you're a WNBA expert. How has Cameron Brink been playing? She's hurt. Oh. Yeah, but... But like only day to day? But think about this. The rest of the season. Oh, rest of the season? But think about this. But the first few games she had. Incredible. Incredible.

Ratings are so high right now And that's with Cameron Brink injured Imagine what they're going to be when she comes back That's true And the fits she's been getting off I did also like the memes that went out about Cameron Brink Those were funny People were finding all kinds of pictures of small men and large women You guys know what I'm talking about What was the impressive part of her season?

She was on fire to start? Yeah, she was just a very good rookie. Very similar to Angel Reese in how she played and her numbers. A little bit better shooter. She was great at Stanford. Well, I also think, didn't she make... I think she made the Olympic team before Caitlin Clark did. Yeah. It was the three-on-three team. Yeah. Yeah, that's a fact. She should be representing this country right now. All right, Cameron Brink is our WNBA Rookie of the Year.

Congratulations to her. Yes. How tall is she? She's like 6'2". How tall is she? 6'4". 6'4". Yeah, she's a 4. Oh, man. And how tall is her guy? I don't know, actually. Good question. Yeah. How tall are you, Huey? 6 on the dot. Oh. On the dot. Good for you. Is that... Wait. When you say 6 on the dot, you can't actually be 6 on the dot. Without shoes, 6.01. I don't... Okay. All right. All right. All right. I'm up for debate. All right.

Okay. Okay. Back to back. Back to back. All right. Next up, we have the Ruth Conda Forever Award Takey of the Year. Now, this is our coworker, Kevin. Kevin Clancy started this when we had the famous Ruth Conda tweet that went viral. I think it was four or five years ago. It read, just told my 10-year-old daughter about RBG with his Ruth Bader Ginsburg when

When she passed away What's this? First I'm hearing of this Yeah she What was the song playing? Fuck It was like a hilarious When he's on the tarmac? Yeah It's a great clip It was like Rocketman or something Yeah it was Rocketman Yeah I think it was Rocketman Alright so just told my 10 year old daughter about RBG She had tears in her eyes And then she did the Wakanda pose And said Ruth Konda forever

Which is the sort of pop culture crossover that I can celebrate. I love that. So this award is for people who basically just go online and lie about what their kids say in terms of politics because they're too scared to say it themselves. The lowest of the low. The lowest of the low. Imagine having a fictional child say something online.

The lowest of the low. So the nominees this year, we have some good, we have three great nominees. One happened just recently. This is from Jojo from jurors. She said, I told my 11 year old daughter that Joe had dropped out and she started to cry and through her tears, she asked, so who will run now? And I said, Kamala. And then she shouted, fuck yes.

That's so true. So true. And it's so sweet. So true. She's one of those Twitter accounts that she has to be online all the time. She has to have notifications set up for everything.

Every tweet, no matter what part of the news ecosystem it comes from, if it's politics, sports, weather, she's always the first reply to it. Yes. Wild move. Yes. The next is from Ellie NYC. She said, or he, I don't know, Ellie, she? One L? Ellie. E-L-I-E. Ellie Schmidt. Yeah.

My kid just said it's sad to watch a pack of lies beat a good person just because the good person can't speak. Talking about Joe Biden versus Donald Trump in their debate. That's a fair point. Like you can't lie if you can't talk. Yeah. And Ellie replied, I literally just gave him a hug and said that debates don't matter.

Turns out debates do matter. They do a lot. They matter a lot. It's kind of where you talk about. All fell apart. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So and then the last one is from Rebecca Hazleton. She said, everyone dies one day. Everyone, even wolves, but not books, not words. Words don't die. My son, three, who is a lot smarter than I am.

Words don't tell. I have a three-year-old. I don't think three-year-olds know what death is. A three-year-old's never constructed this type of sentence. Yeah. Like, let alone the death part. The sentence. Yeah, no, three-year-old. My son started talking to me about death around four and a half. My three-year-old has no idea. But again, let me read it. This is from a three-year-old.

Everyone dies one day. Everyone. Everyone. Everyone. Yeah, let me do it in a kid's voice. Everyone dies one day. Everyone. Even wolves. But not books. Not woods. Woods don't die. What the fuck? Why did... This is bad parenting. Why did you teach your three-year-old that wolves die? Seriously.

and that everyone dies yeah i don't want to know that when i'm three no hell no uh okay so ruth conda forever which is a i'm happy we added this category shout out kevin and the winner is for the ruth conda forever takey award it's rebecca hazelton everyone dies one day everyone even wolves but not books not words words don't die my son three who

Who is a lot smarter than I am. Wolves die. Wolves die. But not words. So we taped the takeys over two days, so a little out of order at points. And I tried to coach my three-year-old to say this whole thing. And I sent you guys a video. And she got...

the last sentence and it wasn't even correct yeah it was like i think she said words yeah words so it it proves yet again that this is the most bullshit thing ever i was saying the words to her feeding her lines and she couldn't get it if you do have a child though that is that eloquent what a content goldmine that would be seriously you can just retire right now yeah

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First annual. I think we're going to repeat this next week. Yes. It seems like a good category. Yes. The 2024 Takey nominees for 17th best quarterback of the year are Kirk Cousins. Oh. Could Kirk win this? 17th best quarterback? That's just past half. Yeah. Yeah. Deshaun Watson. Oh. He might have been worse than that, actually. Yeah. I think we had him in the 20s. Okay. Okay.

Gardner Minshew. That feels about right for Gardner. Yep, I feel like he could win this. Geno Smith and Dak Prescott. And the winner of the first annual 17th Best Quarterback of the Year award is...

Dak Prescott. Wow. Congrats, Dak. Congrats. Now, we didn't do this award just so that we could put it on a logo and post it, did we? No, we grinded through hours and hours of tape. We watched every throw that he made going back to Mississippi State. We watched everything about Dak Prescott. Yes. And we put in together a spreadsheet and a proprietary algorithm, and it spat this out. So Dak is officially the 17th best quarterback in the world.

In the NFL. Wow. Incredible. Now it's cemented because once you went to take it, it's cemented forever. That is what you are. Okay. We got a few left. We're rounding it out. We still got Blake of the year left. We still got podcast listeners of the year left, but next up we have the best four win team of the year. Now you might be saying what the hell for when teams, but guess what? For when teams are usually the teams that are next up. There were some great for one team. They're building something.

First up, the New England Patriots, who went 4-13. Huge season for your boys. Enormous. Started the championship DVD, right, Hank? Yep. It was Drake May, draft night. Also up, the Washington Commanders, 4-13. Yeah, now I got to give credit to Hank. His 4-1 team was better. We drafted before them, so we got Jayden Daniels. That's true. Did you see the Giants clip? No. From Hard Knocks? No.

The GM asked his son, he said, you got to get Jane Daniels. If you want to win, you got to take a shot. Wow. And then he said, Ruth Kanda forever. Books don't matter. No, books matter. The Colorado Buffaloes, four and eight. Yeah. What a great start. Incredible season.

Deion was college football. Yeah. And then finally, the Arizona Cardinals are up for the four-win team of the year with their 4-13 record. So they were better than the Patriots because you drafted before the Cardinals, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah. So they might, according to my metrics here, they're the best four-win team in the NFL. Yeah. That's facts. Okay. Drumroll.

And the winner for best four-win team of the year goes to the Colorado Buffaloes. Congrats, Colorado. Incredible. I know the ESPYs probably ignored the Colorado Buffaloes, but not here, not on part of my take. We're giving it to them, the best four-win team of the year. ESPN doesn't pay any attention to Colorado football. Finally, they're getting shine. And it's disgusting. Yep, finally, they're getting some shine. We also fucked up when we did the Mount Rushmore of animals that you'd like to be. Yep. Because if we're taking animal mascots, I feel like Ralphie should be right at the top. Yep.

top. Yeah. Ralphie's got a great gig. Ralphie lives on a farm outside Boulder. They bring her onto the field. She runs and they don't really tell her where to go. They're just like, we're bringing this Buffalo out into the field. Yeah. And let's just let the chips fall where they may. Yeah. Ralphie's the best. Okay. What do we got next? Okay. Up next, we have the buyout of the year. Ooh, good one. A lot of good buyouts in 2023, 2024. First nominee is

is Russell Westbrook. Yeah, the buyout king. Russell Westbrook. Two in a row in Utah. He's put together a mini dynasty of buyouts. Hasn't played a single second of basketball, practiced with the team even, but he's getting paid. Yeah. Next up, we have Monty Williams. Monty Williams, former son. Double buyout. Former Piston. Yeah. Back to back.

And the final nominee for buyout of the year is Jimbo Fisher. Yeah. Jimbo Fisher got the big check.

From Texas A&M. We saw the big check get delivered onto the field the week before the buyout happened. One of the best college football wrinkles, like Texas A&M especially, because of all the oil money. But yeah, the donor donating like $100 million at halftime of a Texas A&M game and then seven days later Jimbo Fisher getting bought out was so perfect. And all three of these guys really, hats off to them. They're all winners because you've accomplished the American dream. Correct. You're getting paid to stop working. Correct. That's awesome.

The winner of the 2024 buyout of the year takey is Jimbo Fisher. Wow. Texas A&M. The price of oil and gas went up. They were able to afford it. Got him out of town. Now he's just going to go fishing for a while. What was his buyout again? Shit, what was it? Jimbo Fisher's buyout. It was so awesome. I want to say he got like $70 million. It's also so funny because when you get a buyout, $75 million. Wow.

When you get a buyout like that, you get a bunch of people. Oh, 77 million. You get a bunch of people who don't follow college football that like fly in from the crowd and being like, they can't fire him. The buyout's too big. It's like, no, no, no, no. Listen, there's no buyout too big. When you're the only game in town, if you're especially at a big state school that's in a small town,

That's where all the money goes. So they will figure out a way to at least be. Now, this is actually a sweet spot for schools. Like we always say Penn State, but I also feel like A&M could sneak into a college football playoff too. Yeah. This is a good spot for them. Yeah, it is. Okay. Next up, Max, get off of my Taylor Swift tweet. You're going to accidentally retweet it. I know that's what you're going to do. It's up to 40 million views. Get off of it. You just retweeted it? Come on, dude.

You fucking asshole. It is funny, though. It was an accident. It was an accident. I also don't want to look at my fat face. Max, you do have just like an ace in the hole at all times. I just retweet it every day. I won't delete it. I'll never delete it. Okay, let's get to our next award. Can't win the big one of the year. A lot of athletes can't win the big one. A lot of big ones out there that can't be won. Yeah, so we had Connor McDavid.

can't win the big one can't do it can't win the big one almost did people say he's the best but he can't win the big one he won three out of seven of the big ones yeah caitlin clark can't win the big one can't win the big one cannot win the big college college joke wmba probably can't win the big one olympics no gold medal for her nope uh roy mcelroy

Can't win the big one. Can't win the big one. I don't think he's ever going to win a major. I don't think so either. He's going to be one of those guys that you look back on and you're like, Colin Montgomery. What could have been? Can't win a major. Yeah. Sergio Garcia can't win a major. Can't do it. Lamar Jackson.

Can't win the big one. Can't win. He's got a lot of number two. They were favored at home. Perfect setup. Number one seed. Incredible season. Can't win the big one. Run the football. Run the football. Max in the lottery ball. Max is never going to get this lottery ball. He's never going to get the lottery ball. It's so funny watching Max just not get the lottery ball ever. He can't win the big one. The good thing is that I can win the big one with my sports teams. Actually, Joel Embiid's the next nominee. Can't win the big one. Oh, okay. Yep. Mm-hmm.

And he can't even win the small one. He can't win the big one before the big one. He can't win one. He actually can't win the big one before the big one before the big one. He's never won one that was, like, above average size. Yeah. Can't win it. Max is going to say, oh, gold medal. That would actually be really funny if USA finished second. Now I'm rooting for it. Shit. It would be. But now I'm rooting for it. Damn it. But, like...

That would be everyone. I guess. But it would be really about you. Actually, that was stupid. There's no way that the Bulls or the Wizards would have anyone on Team USA. It would be about you, buddy. That's actually a fair statement. Yeah. That's a fair point. Yeah. But it would be about you. But it's also a big loser move to be like, well, if I don't win an NBA championship, at least I've got a gold medal. Yeah. Carmelo Anthony. Yeah. Friend of the program, Carmelo Anthony. Friend of the program. We like Carmelo Anthony. Aura. Aura.

Okay. And we have a very special guest presenting this award. Oh, hey, guys. Whit here. Ryan Whitney. I think the number one reoccurring guest on the number one sports podcast in the world. Pardon my take. And I'm here to present to you for the 2024 Takey's Award, the award of Can't Win the Big One. Nominees, Caitlin Clark, Rory McIlroy, Connor McDavid. Don't like him being a part of it. Go Oilers.

Joel Embiid. Who else we got? Lamar of the Baltimore Ravens. And Max with a lottery ball. And the award goes to Caitlin Clark. Cry me a river, Portnoy. Caitlin Clark can't win the big one of the year.

Wow, Caitlin Clark. Thank you, Ryan. Incredible. Thank you, Ryan. Appreciate that. Yeah. I mean, I thought that this was going to be Connor McDavid. I thought that it was going to be Connor McDavid right up until Ryan Whitney said he would not announce the award saying it was Connor McDavid. Yeah, but I think that, you know, Caitlin Clark is a great choice if you had to replace Connor McDavid with somebody. Yes, exactly. If maybe, you know what it is? This might be kind of mean.

He never won the big one. His team did. You think he's got can't win the big one sensitivity? Yeah, he might. So that probably is where that's from. Yeah. Oops. Sorry, Ryan. That just occurred to me right now. Yeah. Okay. Next up, we have a new award. Sexiest NFL fan of the year. Ooh. Yeah. All right. We had some sexy fans. Speaking of.

Taylor Swift is nominated for sexiest NFL fan of the year. For her brain. For her brain. We also have our good friend Stavi, who had an incredible run with the Ravens that fell short. Ronnie. He was part of the team and everything that went into it, so it was pretty cool. We have Sprinkles, Detroit Don and super fans.

Seatmate that they that came back for a playoff game. What does she get dressed up as is she a clown? I would make that up and there's got to be some kind of I thought she was a cupcake She might be a cupcake. Oh a cupcake. Okay. Yeah, that's sexy sprinkles. Okay Sprinkles nominated and Jake Brown's girlfriend nominated again. She was great. Um box. Yeah Okay, so we have a very special guest presenter For this award and let's kick it to him

What's up everybody, it's your boy Stavi. I hopped out straight out of the pool because I'm getting my Michael Phelps on this summer and I'm here to announce the 2024 takey for the hottest, sexiest NFL fan and that is, the winner is, none other than me, you fucking idiot! That's right, take that T-Swifty. Jake Browning's girlfriend, bam! I will never lose to anyone connected to the Cincinnati Bengals.

Jake Browning, you can lick my Stavros Brown eye. The only competitor I have respect for is Sprinkles. You are a worthy adversary, and you deserve this just as much as I do.

Thank you. I'm honored to win a takey. As a special give back to the AWLs who are NFL fans, I am offering to fuck your wife all season as long as the Ravens play your team. As a gift to you, I will fuck your wife after the Ravens beat your dumbass team. I want to win the fucking Super Bowl, baby. Let's go.

That was perfect. Nice job, Stompy. Mustache is looking good, too. Look at that. Oh, it looks so good. It looks kind of like the Natty Bow logo. Oh, man. So Sprinkles got a little shout out there.

For the adversary. Yeah, so Stavi, he won the award that he was nominated for and presented. That's pretty good. Yeah. Pretty good year for Stavi. Great year for Stavi. All right, rounding it out, we got a few more. We do. We have a special category here. New category, the Florio of the Year. Oh. The Florio of the Year Award. Oh, this is a big, this is a big. Who's going to win this? The nominees are Mike Florio. Oh. Just a lie? No.

The biggest lie? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought you guys made your peace. I'm just trying to get conned. Memes, can you explain Flory of the Year Award? Someone who just kind of over-exaggerates stories and... Lies? Yeah, kind of lies. Okay. Okay.

What was the thing that he got so upset about, Florio, when sites made up things for... Oh, he got upset about the Archie Manning speech story. Yeah, yeah. Where it was like some websites out there are just generating these inflammatory headlines for clicks. Yeah. That was a great one. Yeah. But yeah, Hank, it's disappointing because you and Mike made your piece publicly. No, we have. We're good. I was just curious what that meant. You just called him a liar, though. I asked, does it mean lies? But it doesn't. Okay. The Florio of the Year nominees are Mike Florio. Mm-hmm.

Diana Rossini. Mm-hmm. Matt Miller. Mm-hmm. Dan Graziano. Wow. A lot of Italians on this list. Memes. Seems like you got a type. And the winner of the Florio of the Year Award for 2024 is Mike Florio. Wow! Mike Florio defending the crown. It's all about the family. Memes, would you want to accept this award on behalf of Mike Florio? Yeah, I would love to. Okay. Dan Graziano came in as a late Florio, but...

I managed to beat him out with just all-time lies on the part of my take podcast. Went on an all-time rant. But I'll be back next year to win it. Okay. How many of these nominees had a story about the New York Jets? All four of them. Who came up with the nominee list? I came up with three out of four. Which one did you not? Florio was just automatically in.

So you came up with all four. Yeah. I like this category, though. It's like who can unseat Florio. Yeah. It's like king of the hill. Yeah. Who's the Florio of the year? We'll be watching for next year. All right. Next up, we have coach of the year. Big, big year in sports. We had some incredible championship runs. Someone's got to win coach of the year. The nominees are...

Joe Mazzulla from the Boston Celtics. Great coach. Yeah. Oh, Hank, he's so tired of winning. He just doesn't even. I've shown more excitement when I got passed in the fantasy. I mean, it's a nomination. We'll talk when he wins. Okay. J.J. Redick. Great coach. Los Angeles Lakers coach. Great coach. We have Jim Harbaugh.

Won national title, got hired for the Chargers, our guy, football guy through and through. And then Andy Reid with his third Super Bowl, getting close to that. Is he the GOAT? Yeah. I mean, it's going to be tough to beat Andy. Andy is in the GOAT conversation. He's halfway there. Current coaches. Yeah, he's really, really good, and he's got a great quarterback. Yeah.

He's coaching his balls off. He is. All right, we have a special guest presenter for this award. I have not seen this video, so let's all watch it together. Boys, it is my honor and privilege to announce the 2024 Takeys Coach of the Year. One of my dearest friends, and this is an insanely proud moment for me because this man is like a brother to me.

JJ Redding. Fuck you, Max. I know you're sick hearing that name. Fuck you. Congratulations, JJ. You have earned this award. You deserve this award just like everything else in your life. Take the Lakers all the way. Listen to me. Look at me. Take the Lakers all the way because you've got a lot of haters out there, a lot of naysayers.

Max being one of them. And hey, Max, what are you going to do when the Lakers run wild on your candy asses out there in Philly? Congratulations, bro. Again, you deserve this. Cherish this moment. And I'll see you at Christmas, man. Fuck you, Max. All right. That's good. That's the JJ. Max does hate JJ. Incredible. Incredible. He fucking despises JJ Redick.

Oh, that's funny. Okay. We got three left. We do. Should we add one? We didn't do our play of the year. Oh. The Aspies had their... They gave it to Lamar. Okay. Do you guys have a play of the year? I have a play of the year. Travis Kelsey throwing the lateral to Kadarius Toney.

That was called back on the flag. Yep. And Travis and Andy were saying it's sad because that won't be included in Canton one day. Yep. Well, we're memorializing it right now. Okay. My play of the year is Summer League when Bronny took it coast to coast and he bricked a 10-footer. That's a good one. Yeah. Hank? Probably. Oh, I have one. You have another one? Well, if Hank can think of one, I had one for him. Probably had to be in the Copa.

Oh, yeah. That game winner. Which team? Argentina. Nice. Nice. Nice. Which team? Who were they playing? The semis. I'm blanking on who they were playing, but the semifinal was incredible. Portugal. Who scored? Portugal. When they beat Portugal. Do you remember who scored? Yeah. Hamas? Hamas.

Okay. I was going to say that Mac Jones interception in England. You remember that one? Yeah. The one that was underthrown by like 15 yards. That was a great one. Can we nominate that one? Yeah, absolutely. Okay. Absolutely. So we should let the listeners vote. Yeah. Yeah. Listeners. We'll put up a poll. I have one too. Oh, okay. The Jalen Carter almost interception off of the spike. Nah, that wasn't that cool. Yeah, that wasn't. You lost the game.

But it was cool. Yeah. No, it wasn't cool. All right. So we'll let the listeners vote. They have four to vote on. So we'll be giving out after the listeners vote. All right. So the last three awards, PFT, you got one of them. Yeah. This is the preemptive take of the year award. So this is where we try to get out ahead of the story and call something way in the future. Yes. And I'm excited to see what you guys have because we don't know what each other's preemptive takes are. Yeah. So how do we want to start this? Who wants to start?

Why don't we start with memes and we'll go around and we'll end with Hank. Memes, your preemptive take of the year. All right. The 76ers will implode with Paul George. Okay. And Joel Embiid will force himself to the Knicks. Wow. Okay. Wow. I mean, that would be crazy if true. Okay.

The 76ers will succeed with Paul George. Okay. And Joel Embiid will win an Eastern Conference Finals MVP. Whoa. In a losing effort? In a winning effort. Oh, okay.

We're not ready to say NBA. Wait, so that's your dream? What was your wildest dream? That's not our dream. In your wildest imagination. This isn't dream of the year. This is take of the year. What's dream of the year? In your wildest take, the Sixers still lose in the finals. Correct. That's not what I said. You come in second place. That's not what I said.

He could win both. But I said that he will win the Eastern Conference Finals MVP. I personally, if I thought they were going to win the whole thing, I would have started there. Yeah. That could be your take. The Eastern Conference Finals MVP. Yeah. Who does? That's my take. Okay. Huey.

Okay. The finals of the WNBA specifically will have more ratings, will have the third most ratings in the fall. Wait, more ratings or third most? Third most in the season of fall. So behind college football and the NFL, there needs to be a third place. Got it.

Got it. WNBA Finals will surpass the NBA opening, will surpass the NHL, and it'll be the third most watched sport. World Series? It'll battle the World Series, and it will be third. Okay. I like that. Who do you have in the finals? Twice a day.

The Vegas aces, obviously. Mrs. Plum and Mrs. Wilson. And the other side's up in the air yet. Okay. Up in the air yet. I've noticed Huey adds words that don't need to be there. That's okay. And I love it. We need to up the word count of each podcast. We get paid by the word. Up in the air yet. Yet doesn't need to be in there. It's almost like he knows he's done talking, but he's like, let me just get one more in there. I fucking love it. All right, Shane, you got one?

Preemptive take. Am I rolling? Yeah. Gus Edwards will lead the NFL in rushing touchdowns. Okay. What teams does he play for? He's on the Chargers. Oh, interesting. And what's on your shirt right now? What's on your shirt right now? What's your shirt say? What is your shirt? Oh, it's a Chargers shirt. Oh, it's a junior sale. Okay. All right. Got it. Got it. His nicest outfit.

Okay. All right, boys. My preemptive take of the year is that Taylor Swift and Travis are going to get engaged. Oh. And then she's going to put out a terrible album because she's happy and she doesn't have any boyfriends to complain about. And then all her fans are going to start to hate her because her music sucks because she's happy with her personal life. Wow. How about that? I like it. I like it. Okay. My preemptive take of the year, I believe...

henry lockwood is going to dunk let's go not got not i can't believe you fell for that i believe okay that's my preemptive take henry lockwood's gonna dunk not that's improper english is it there's a comma in there dunk not dunk not no i think you're gonna be able to dunk i really do i actually do i don't too psych hank

Are you high right now, Hank? No. I should rephrase that. How high? Zero percent high. I believe you're going to be able to dunk, Hank. I just don't want to say thank you because I said thank you. I got nodded. What type of knot was that, PFT? It doesn't matter. I believe you're going to be able to dunk. Thank you. Psych! Yeah. That's fine. No, I actually do. I actually 100% believe you because you've been working out a lot. You've been training a lot. Thanks. Gotcha. All right. What's your preemptive take, Hank? It wouldn't be the most shocking thing if you did. No.

I think we're going to. It's opposite day. Yeah. Okay. What's your preemptive take? My preemptive take of the year is that Drake May and New England Patriots are going to have more combined wins than the Washington football team and Chicago Bears. Combined? Combined. That is the craziest thing. That's wild, Hank. That's wild. How many wins?

Seven. So we're going to have six combined? More or equal. So maybe one has four, one has three. That's wild. That's wild taking. Would you like to wager on that?

No, I'm already in pretty deep with PFT, so I'm just going to... Yeah, oh, that's right. Sometimes I forget, like I feel like I'm a bad gambler, and then I remember that Hank is going to owe me, what, $20,000? I think it's $50,000. $50,000. No, you were going to owe me $50,000. I'm already going to be up $20,000. I think it was $50,000 to $30,000, so I think you might owe me $30,000. No, well, it wasn't that.

If the Patriots don't make the Super Bowl in how many years now? I think it was 50 to 10. I think it was five years, but a year has passed. There's no way I'd give you 50 to 30. So it's four more years. Four more years. Yeah. Yeah, it's like there's always money in the bananas. I got it. I'm rich. Yeah. I'm going to be so rich in four years. They're going to make a Super Bowl in the next four years. Easy. Easy. You love Drake May. I actually do. Yeah. I know. I've seen the t-shirt. We should release that.

Okay, quick break from the takeys for the rowback question. Rowback question for memes and pug because you guys are sitting here with me and we forgot to do the rowback question, but now we're here. Rowback question for memes and pugs. How is the editing of the takeys going? It's a great time. It's a great time? Yeah, it's just so many fun awards. I don't know which one's my favorite. Okay, nice job, pug. Memes?

Yeah, it's a great time. Lots of fun. We're watching Jerry, uh, guess some States. Uh, okay. All right. So rowback.com. We love the people at rowback. They're one of our favorite sponsors. Cues is polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. I'll tell you right now, the joggers are the best. I wear them every single day. Polos. If you're a golfer, do it. The light sweatshirts just in time for fall. Rowback has it all rowback.com promo code. Take 20% off your first question or first question.

purchase. That was the row back question. 20% off your first purchase rowback.com R H O B A C K.com. And now back to the take ease. Okay. It's time for one of the most important awards we give away every single year at the take ease. It is Blake of the year time. So here's what we're doing. We've done a many different ways, uh, for people who are listening to their first take ease. Blake of the year is, uh,

Blake Griffin, Blake Bortles, and we've added Brooks Koepka probably five years ago. He is a Blake.

I don't know what the exact stats are. I believe Blake Griffin is a three-time winner. I think it's Blake Bortles has two. Yeah, two. And Brooks, sadly, can't win the big one. He has zero. So we've done it every single way. We've done it first to answer the phone call. We've done trivia. We did the famous lottery ball year, which was painful, and I'm shocked that these guys even still return our text messages. Yeah.

This year we're going old school with a new school twist. It's going to be similar to the phone call, the first to answer the phone one previous Blake of the years. This year we're going to do a Zoom link. So I've told all three Blakes...

A window and it's we're in the window right now. They're in all different parts of the world. Blake Brooks is in the UK. Blake Griffin is in LA. Blake Bortles is in Florida. When I texted them asking them what their availability was,

Brooks said he's playing in a golf tournament in England. Blake Griffin said that he's got some meetings and shit that he's got to attend to. And Blake Bortles said he has absolutely nothing. So Blake Bortles seems like he would be the betting favorite now. Brooks Koepka, not on the course now, though. Not on the course, but Blake Bortles also probably not the most technologically savvy player.

So Blake Griffin feels like he could be the leader in that respect. So Blake definitely has practiced. Yeah. He's like opened up his own. He's made sure that the app is up to date. Yeah. That it's the most current version. Bortles might be kind of lounging around, but he might have more technical difficulties just accessing the app. Correct. He might not even have the app downloaded. Okay. Okay.

And now, how are we judging? Is it first to show we're screen recording so we'll have it exactly right if they both show up at the same time, we'll figure it out. But it's first to join and we have to hear them and see them, correct? They have to connect to video and audio. Yes, so once they join, if their video is on the screen and we can't hear them, doesn't count. Now, are we allowed to tell them we can't hear you? Yeah. Okay. Okay.

Shane, if Shane is listening, can you say something real quick just so the people know? Check, check, check, check. There we go. Okay, so that way that the people know it's not on our end. Shane is able to connect to video and audio right now. Memes. Question. Blake Bortles is a three-time winner. Three-time winner. So it's 3-3-0. 3-3-0. Wow.

Wow. Either one will win the best of seven or one will break the dreaded streak, get the monkey off the back. Yes. So I'm texting all three right this second. I'm saying first person to connect to video and audio on the Zoom wins Blake of the Year.

wins play of the year 2024. I told them all to, even if they don't win or they feel like they didn't win, they should still try to connect because we'd like to see them all. Big Cat, real quick sidebar. I know we just laid out the entire rules and we planned this whole thing out.

Is it more of a Blake move to not be able to connect to the zone? No, no, no. Maybe next year we'll do that wrinkle, but I've already set this up. It was a hell of a time setting up three different time zones. When I thought about it, Blake's probably not ready to go. Next year we're golfing or doing something. Next year we're getting them all three together. We'll figure it out. I want to get them all three together.

Okay, here we go. First person to connect to video and audio on the Zoom wins Blake of the Year 2024 with the Zoom link sent. Oh, my God. Okay. What if all of them just don't join? If the Blakes unionize? Oh, we have somebody. No. No way. That was so fast. No way. It says BG. No way. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Can we hear him? Hello? Oh!

Let's go! That was domination! You were literally waiting in bed. Oh, we got another one! Oh, no! Here comes Blake Bortles. This is going to be heartbreaking for him. Can't wait to talk shit about my Wi-Fi. Oh, and I think I'm wearing the Blake of the Year shirt, too. I think Brooks might have tried to join just now, too. Oh, my God. Oh, what's up, Brooks? What's up, Blake?

My Wi-Fi is too fucking good. Oh, no. I'm not going to lie, boys. I had my Wi-Fi guy come out this morning. We kicked the restrictor plate off this bad boy.

Not exactly street legal, but was it worth it? That was crazy fast. Unbelievable. That was insanely fast. Wait, is Brooks joined or no? No, Brooks is Brooks. You might just not join. Brooks is just the bad luck guy for every single year. Bortles, we got some beef to settle, man. You're out on the street saying I'm cheating out here. Oh.

Dude, it's these restrictor plates in your Wi-Fi. These catalytic converters you're swiping. Listen, man. Not street legal, but it's worth it. That was crazy. You joined so fast because we've been taping this whole thing. You'll be able to watch it back. I went to the chat to check to make sure. I was like, it was going to be in this thread and it came through. Yeah. Are you out on your porch right now?

Yeah, I've been sitting here for, what time was it, an hour? Probably pretty far away from your router. Oh, no. And do you know, this is Blake Bortles. I feel bad saying this to you. You guys probably are aware of this, but did you know it was 3-3 until today? No. Yeah. Is that what the record was? Yes. You are a three-time Blake of the Year winner. Blake Griffin is now a four-time Blake of the Year winner. And Brooks is zero.

He might not even join this call. Yeah. This is tough. Look for Brooks. I'll tell you what, having your notifications on extra loud for an hour is very annoying. Yeah. That was, that was actually shocking how fast you joined because we had a moment when we set the whole thing up. We're like, what if, what if none of these guys joined for like a half hour and we're just sitting here like fucking assholes just being like, will anyone join? Holy crap.

Holy shit. I got a tough question for the two of you since Brooks isn't on the chat yet. Has the word relegation been thrown around in regards to Brooks Koepka? It's an interesting question. If I knew what that meant, I would 100% have an opinion. Okay. Are we going to relegate him down to the Division II? Back to the Brooks League? Yeah. Drop him down to Brooks. I don't know. I mean, I feel like that's up to you guys. I don't know if that's a Blake's call. I'll say this in Brooks' defense. Yeah.

he is probably at the biggest disadvantage cause he's in England and he said that he's at a remote place that has like very bad wifi. Um, I think he just needs to quit the live tour and focus on Blake of the year. Yeah. If he was serious about it, I guess. Yeah. Um, Blake Griffin, do you want to say anything you want to accept in speech? I mean, this is one of the biggest takey awards that we give out every year. Um, yeah, I mean, honestly, dude, Blake, you can probably attest to this, but everywhere I go, somebody yells Blake of the year.

somebody else Blake of the Year. So, I mean, this is a huge award, and it means a lot to all of us. Some of us it means a little bit more. I guess Brooks doesn't really care, but you know what? I'm just happy to take it home this year. Great competition all around. Yeah, and I feel like this is a dynasty for you too. Yeah. Yeah, now I get to do the Klay Thompson thing all the time and hold up four. Yeah. Are you bad for Blake's? Are you so good at Blake of the Year? Yeah.

It might be bad for Blake's. Wait, who won last year? Bortles did. Oh, yeah. So, okay. So, there's parity in this league still. Is it over? Was it best of seven? You want to do it?

Please, God. We're just going to keep going. So, Blake Portals, what do you – I mean, I said beforehand, before we sent out the Zoom link, that the text messages when I sent you guys setting this all up was very funny because Brooks was like, I'm playing in a golf tournament, and Blake Griffin was like, I have some things going on, and you're like, I literally have nothing. So, what is you going to do to change –

in this offseason because you just have to give up the award and now you have a whole year to think about it.

Yeah, and it's especially a tough look when I had nothing going on, and I couldn't have joined any sooner, and I joined, and you guys and Blake are just in a full conversation already. It's not even like he's still trying to figure it out and connect. He was already in. So I think I'm going to have to start packing the schedule a little bit and change things up. Yeah. That's a good idea. And also, in Brooks' defense, he's the only one that still has a current job that they work at. So a little bit busy. True.

Well, if you guys nod. Yeah. I can't wait to make the part of my take movie and we get the actor from Clipped to play Blake Bortles. Yes. Blake Griffin. We'll get Sam Houser's brother to play Bortles. Yeah. I know we say this every year, but next year we have to get everyone together. We're going to do it. I feel like we're going to do it. We're going to get you back out of Tahoe, Blake Bortles. Yeah, I got dropped from that roster pretty quickly. Did you play out there, Blake?

I did. Day one was brutal. How awesome was that? It was so fun. Brutal day one. I was like shaking over my practice putts. And then day two and three, oh, terrifying. The people lined up on the tee box. It's like, what are we doing, guys? And then day two and three, I played a little bit better. But I had no aspirations of winning. It was strictly go out there and don't be last. Luckily, A-Rod, Miles Taylor were out there.

I heard you saw a bear too. Dude, I was 10 feet from a bear. Yeah. I look over and I hear something in the tree and I look over and this bear is just like

bear hugging this tree and he's just looking around it at me yeah and and max i was like max go get the bear and then that woman was was like hey you probably shouldn't do that yeah i went to go over towards the bear and there was people working there and they were like don't go near don't go near that bear don't go near that bear very aggressive yeah apparently it was like a mama bear with like three cubs and you don't want to get in the mama bear's way no that's how we feel about the blakes

Yeah, don't fuck with him. I don't think he's going to join. No, I don't think he's going to join. I think he's asleep. It is like 10 p.m. It is late there. Yeah, it's 10 p.m., and he's got a golf round the next day. What was your best round, Blake? I mean, I'm not good. I think I shot an 84 day two maybe. That's pretty good. With people watching out there, it's a lot. Having to make every putt.

How tough are the two-footers that everybody's normally like, yeah, you're good, and you still got to putt those? They're terrible. One of the first times I played in them, my dad caddied for me the first day, and after the fourth time I missed an 18-inch putt, he just stopped. Yeah.

Somebody out of the crowd come carry this bag. Blake, I caddied for Blake Griffin for like probably four or five holes. And I got a new golf term for you that I'd never seen on the golf course. Blake Griffin shot a shot that went like, I don't know, 100 feet into the woods. And the guy we were playing with was like, that was the great shape of that shot.

I don't even know what the fuck that means, but it sounded nice. It was a terrible shot. It wasn't like 100 feet in the woods. It was like 70, 80 tops. But it was great shape. It was pretty. Can you imagine the shape on that thing? I just turned around and was like, what the fuck does that mean? That was a bad shot. But yeah, Blake Griffin can fucking bomb the ball. I watched it. It gets you back out to...

Tahoe next year and we'll do like a little we should do a little Blake thing out there maybe that's we do Blake of the year right before the tournament yeah make them pair us together at least one day that would be incredible Brooks has to play lefty I think Brooks might still win yeah Brooks probably is like oh I got a whole job how about me and Bortles scramble yeah yeah versus me and PFT

And we play from like the forward team. Yeah. Yeah. I think, yeah, you guys could, that would definitely level it out. And then between the two of you, it's whoever, whoever you take more shots from. Oh, so then there's also competition between the two. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. I like that. Oh, good. All right. Max. Yeah, that was max.

Dude, just dialing an assassin over there. Can't see him, but... Yeah, he's in the booth. Great idea. There he is. There's our mutants. Just producing back here is all. Yeah. We got a new intern, Huey, there, too. He's a Pistons fan, actually, Blake.

Hey, sorry, Huey. Sorry, buddy. Oh, shit. You know what? I'm going to Chicago. Yeah, by the way, since I left, I've been doing great. Congratulations, man. Thank you.

Huey, do you want to tell Blake about your idea for a sitcom? I have a TV pilot coming out one day. Oh, yeah, Blake, you should buy this. You'll love this. It's about two brothers, one named Carmelo, the other Anthony. Born in Denver, Colorado, a couple days before you-know-who gets traded to the Knicks. And their dad grows up their whole life resenting them, you know, because they're named Carmelo and Anthony.

And I can tell you're not going with it. Yeah. Dude, if you could just throw that in the email, I'll put my email in the chat. You just shoot that over to me and I'll get that in front of my people ASAP. Thanks, man. I'm riveting. Thank you. Way to abort there. That was a good, that was way to read the room, Huey. You didn't get to the part about a new kid named Nicola. Yeah.

Oh, man. All right. Well, thank you both, Blakes. You guys are the best. We love you. Blake Griffin, congratulations. You have a full year as Blake of the Year. The trophy's back in your house. I feel like we got to make new shirts. Yeah. Doing the Klay Thompson, four rings on there. Yeah. Yeah.

I'll do it. Well, thank you, boys. Appreciate it. Congrats, Blake. Thanks, guys. He's pissed. I'm stoked for you, man. I'm so fucking excited. Thanks, man. It really felt genuine. Yeah, I'm happy for you. Enjoy these 12 months. All right. See you, boys. All right. See you. Later. Oh, and that's Blake of the year.

Our favorite award that we give out. I love it. It broke my heart to see the look on Blake Bortles' face. I know. He wanted it. That was a thrilling way to do it. You're never going to say that Blake Bortles didn't want to win this one. Yeah. Holy shit. He was so fast. Blake Griffin, what was the time on that? I would estimate it to be under 10 seconds.

Yeah, it was that fast. And I did give him a three-hour window. I was like, here's a three-hour window because they're busy guys. But still, I mean, I do feel bad because Blake Bortles, like he said, he'd been just sitting there for an hour waiting and still wasn't able to do it. I mean, congrats. It's tough to beat greatness. Yeah. And what we're witnessing right now is greatness. Four-time Blake of the Year winner. All right, we have one last award, PFT.

And we should just give it out ourselves. Okay. It's a Podcast Listeners of the Year Award. Pretty important award. There's a lot of good podcasts out there and a lot of great podcast listeners. Yeah, so you want to do the nominees? Yeah, the nominees are the Hardcore Historians. Okay. I listen to Dan Carlin. Yep.

I've got them on the list. The Politican fans. I don't know. What do we call those guys? Marshawn Lynch, Gavin Newsom. Marshawn Lynch's agent who's known Gavin Newsom for years. Yep. He started working on this podcast six months ago. The Politican fans. Yep. And then the AWLs of part of my take. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. So who won? I don't think Politican is out yet. Okay. So I had to cross that one off the list. Should we do a drum roll? We can do a drum roll. Okay. Okay.

Huey, you want to announce the winner? No. He says no. Smart. He says no. Memes, do you want to announce the winner? Who won podcast of the year? Listeners. The award-winning listeners of part of my take. A nine-peat.

A nine. Nine. Nine. Nine. Nine. Update those bios. Incredible run. You're running out of fingers. Jason Pierre Paul can't count the amount of times that you've won AWL. I thought this year was going to be Politicking for real. Politicking next year. I'm looking in my rearview mirror if I'm the AWLs right now. Yes. So thank you to the AWLs.

We say it a million times, but I feel like I could say it every show. We live a dream life. We have the best job ever, and it's because you guys listen to this show. We wouldn't be able to do this if you weren't as dedicated to us through ups and downs. Sometimes you hate us. Sometimes you love us. Most of the time you hate Hank. Hank's not even here. That's fine. So listen to you get the award.

Yeah, at the end of every episode, I say love you guys. I truly mean that. I love you guys. Thank you so much. It means the world to Big Cat, me, Hank, everybody in the booth. We really, really sincerely appreciate it because there's a bunch of podcasts out there. You don't have to listen to us. Yep. You've got other options, and you choose to, and it means so much to us. So sincerely, thank you from the bottom of our hearts, and we love you guys. And it's also one of those things that nine times, it's crazy looking back because I don't know if you feel the same way.

It feels like we've been doing this podcast for like five minutes because I don't know. It's like just time goes so fast when you're having, you know, the time of your life. But if you had told me, PFT, Hank, when we were sitting in your Austin apartment or house, excuse me, I don't want to see his house. It was a row house. It was a row house.

If you told us when we were doing the test episode back in 2016 that we would have this type of success and we'd be doing it for nine years or eight years, but nine times for the take ease. I'd be like, there's no fucking way. There's just, I mean, I think we're, we can do it, but I don't think that we're going to reach these heights. We had that. I've told this story. We had that moment when we were driving from the Arizona bowl back to the

And we like we were just two of us in the car and we're like, what would happen if we didn't do this podcast? And it was a scary, scary thought. It's crazy. I think it's probably the best the best decision, at least in terms of our work.

of our lives yeah and um and it really is like it's freaky sometimes to think that there's so many people that listen to every episode yeah i try not to think about that as we're recording but when i do have a moment where i get to sit back and think about it i it makes me just very very thankful for all you guys yeah yeah it's it's like i said you've got a choice and the fact that you choose us means a lot yeah thank you it's immense gratitude uh that i don't think we can

We can't accurately convey it other than what we're saying right now, but what we're saying right now is a very small part of the gratitude we feel. So what are you guys in the booth? Anything for the AWLs? Great year? Yeah, great year. I've only obviously been here for two. This is my second takey since I've been on, but...

Every year I meet more and more of you guys, and it's a great time every time I meet you. And I'm really grateful that you guys have given me this life, and I truly, truly do love you guys, like PFT always says. Yeah. Memes? I took some time to reflect last week when you let me ask some questions to Aaron Rodgers. I'm very appreciative of everybody on the show and all the people that listen. I was working at Accounts Receivable three years ago.

And if my entire life changed. So thank you to everybody who listens. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm obviously the newest one here. Been a week. The people have been awesome. They've been really supportive and nice and they seem to be very, you know, very excited for the future and, you know, willing to hear out everything I got to say. And yeah, they seem like great people and really excited to work for them and work my ass off for them. Yeah. Yeah.

We have the best fans in the world. It's not even close. I'll put our fans up against anyone else any day of the week. I know there's some other podcasts that have added some strong fan bases. Still would take the AWLs over them. Oh, and Internet War? Oh. 100%. Yeah. Especially since her next album is going to stink. Yes, exactly. She's too happy. Not naming names. She's too happy. The thing about me and Big Cat is we're always upset.

Yes. So there's always something to gripe about for people to identify with. Except actually now we might be entering phase two of part of my take where me and Big Cat have elite quarterbacks. Yeah, true. And we become real assholes. Actually, yeah, we might be going down the we're too happy. This might be when the whole podcast is just submarines because everyone's like we don't want to listen to winners all the time.

Yep, yep. So at least with Chiefs fans, when they listen to us, and if they think that we're doubting Patrick Mahomes or their team, they can at least take solace in the fact that they win something. But if our teams win, then everyone else is going to be like, fuck you guys. But we sincerely thank you very, very much. Thank you for listening to Takey Awards, and we really love you guys. Yeah. So let's finish up with numbers. Okay, great Takeys, boys. Congrats again to the AWLs, nine in a row. Hank, what do you think?

Proud. Proud. They did it. Proud. Are you wearing those glasses upside down now? He's high. No. I'm not high. Why do you think I'm high?

Incredible takeys. I love doing the takeys awards every single year. So much fun. And we do give the award-winning listeners a lot of credit. And every year I think we say on the show, but we really do love you. Thank you very much for listening. Yes. We appreciate you guys are the best people in the world. We need to do a better job for next year's takeys of figuring out the takeys as they happen in real time. Who's going to be in charge of that?

Because every year we do the same thing. I'm going to be all over it. Oh, hell yes. All over it. No, but you're going to inject it with pro Philly bias. No, I'm not. All right. No, that's good. You and memes. It's a combo. Yeah. Combos. Because we do do this every single year where we get to the takeys and then like a day before we're like, wait, what happened this last year? Yeah. But we pulled it together. I think we had some great winners. Congrats to all the winners. And let's go to numbers. 56. 20. 42. 11.

Nine. This would be great if, you know, can't win the big one, just immediately got a race. Yeah, but you admit you can't win the big one. Eight, no. Let's pick one for the AWLs, just for fun. They can have mine. No. Three. What should we pick for the AWL? Nine. Nine, nine. I picked nine. Oh. But they can have it. I'll give them 11. No, no, no. They get nine. Hank, new number. Hank, new number. 17. Three. Pug, Shane.

Pug. 99 Pug. 21. Say them again in order. Memes, go around the room. 3. 20. 42. 99 Pug. 21. 8. 56. 17. AWLs have 9. 15. Damn. 15. Mahomes. Love you guys. I'm talking away. I don't know what to say. I'll say it again.

Today is another day to find you. Shine away. I'll be coming for your love, okay? Shine away. I'll be coming for your love, okay? Needless to say, I'm all set in. But I'll be stumbling. Slowly learning that life is okay. Say up to me.

It's so better to be safe than sorry. Say up to me. It's so better to be safe than sorry. You're all the things I've got to remember. Are you shying away? Are we coming for you anyway? Are you shying away? Are we coming for you anyway? Take on me. Take on me. Take on me.