Avalanche Terrain
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Here comes Tanner. Hey. Hey. Thanks for that introduction, Matt. You're welcome. That was terrific. Tanner, how are you? Good. How are you, Conan? This is sweet. I'm doing real well. Hey, man, it is sweet. And it's sweet talking to you. And I'm looking at you right now. I'm trying to figure out from your background where you've got that kind of stove that looks antique that goes up and into the wall with like a bunch of pipes. Yeah.

Is that a bong in the background? What is that? A lava lamp. Yeah. Was that a lava lamp or a bong? Oh, that's a lava lamp. Okay. Well, you know, in my defense, they can be dual purpose. You can have a lava lamp that's also a bong. I'm sure you can figure out something. Oh, I did. Trust me. No, that doesn't make sense. So you're in, where are you? You look like you're in some kind of a cool rural situation. What's happening? Yeah. So I live in central Idaho. Yeah.

in the mountains. It's a town of like 500 people. It's two hours north of Boise. Where is that in relation to Ketchum? Ketchum? So Ketchum would be... Ketchum would be kind of eastern. Do you know Ketchum? You're pointing on a Zoom in a direction I don't know. We're on a podcast and you're pointing. But he gave you Boise and you decided Ketchum is all you need? Yeah, Ketchum is... Boise is a capital. How do you not know Boise? Just sort of more...

I'm just sort of more interested in Ketchum, you know? It's where Hemingway lived out his last days. Yep. And the celebrity types like to go to Ketchum, wear fur coats. I've never been there. I'm not enough of a celebrity. I think more about Hemingway spending his last days there in Ketchum.

It's rather a poignant tale. But I think I got us off the trail here, Tanner. Tell us a little bit about yourself. What do you do when you're not smoking sweet J-bone out of a lava lamp? So I work as a ski patroller. That's my primary job here. Ski patroller. So not a ski instructor. You're a ski patroller, which I think no slamming of ski instructors here because I love skiing and I love ski instructors. But ski patroller sounds so much cooler. Yeah.

Yeah. You get to wear the fancy uniform and carry radio. Do you get a gun when you're a ski patroller? We should. At least a taser, I think. No, I think you should have a gun and you should be on your skis firing at someone who's fleeing. Yeah. Or a rabbit. I think that'd be cool. Or I could just take him out. Oh, well, you know, first of all, I'm loving this whole thing. You're a ski patroller and you're in Donnelly, Idaho. Is that correct? Yeah.

That's correct. Okay. And very closer to Boise, I guess, than Ketchum. But listen, again, I'm getting us off the rails. Tell us, what does it entail when you're a ski patroller? Are you looking out for people's safety, their health? What are you doing? So it's kind of a mixture of rescue. You're also mitigating risk. So you're kind of marking hazards with bamboo. Then you're also doing avalanche mitigation and medical as well.

So it's a mixture of kind of everything. All right. So you have had probably some calls where people fall and they broke their leg or something. Is that right?

Yeah, it's mainly the good rule of thumb is skiers. It's usually leg injuries, knees, femurs. And then snowboarders, usually something upper body, collarbones, arms. I did try in the 2002 Olympics, which were in Salt Lake. We shot a segment where I tried snowboarding and the physics of it for me, because I'm very tall and I have a fat head, so I'm top heavy. I would go down and when you go down on skis,

It's one thing, but when you go down on a snowboard, you're going down like four times harder. Is that fair to say? Yeah.

That's fair to say. Yeah. Especially you, you have like, so you learn in EMT school, like the different mechanisms of injuries and you're more based on what you say is a pediatric patient because they have bigger heads. So they fall on their heads more. So what you're saying Tanner is I'm like a large baby. Yeah. You're like a large baby. Yeah. Me too though. You might have to have your tonsils out while you're skiing. Is there, is there a code for man baby down on the mountain?

We can make one. Yeah, you should make one. We've got a Conan. Just call it a Conan. A Conan's down on the mountain. Okay, so a lot of those kinds of injuries. Do you ever have people that, I don't know, they say they need help and you get there and it's kind of clear they're not really in any jeopardy. They're just sort of tired and making a fuss about something that's not that important.

100% I would say about 80%. You're just making something up. No, I'm telling you. Yeah. 80% of our calls are probably people who just can't make it on the hill. So we call it a taxi where we just give them a ride in a toboggan down. That would be me. No, but I can tell there's sometimes there are people that fall down. They go, oh, I went bump.

Call ski patrol. But it's so hard to get up after you fall. You're just, you have these giant things on your feet. Skis. Skis. Yeah. And you're just kind of like, come on. I have to get up now? If this is the way you feel, what got you there in the first place? Yeah. And you shouldn't be skiing. You shouldn't be skiing. What do you mean I should? Everyone can ski, should,

ski? I don't know. It's not your culture. I just, I'm right. Actually, honestly, I don't know a lot of Armenians. I took you to Armenia and I didn't see a lot of ski. There's not, but if I was on the mountain and I fell, do I just yell, help me Tanner. And you just show up or how are you? How do you know?

It depends. So we do like one of our jobs. So one day a week we're a dispatcher. So we sit in the office, the radio and the phone to answer phone calls. Oh, um, we get a lot of people who call it just like, this person needs help and work. All right, we'll go check it out. But, um,

That's one way. Or you just can scream help. Can you ever send one of those giant St. Bernard's with a barrel of brandy around its neck? Do they still exist? I was wondering when the St. Bernard would come in and play with you too. Or maybe Tanner, you could just carry a lot of brandy with you on a barrel around your neck. Yeah. Or Kona, that's a good job for you because you have that big head to hold it up. Okay, Tanner, let's let that go.

I think it's time. You can put it on your waist. Yeah, big head means there's a bigger space underneath the head. Shades the rum nicely. It doesn't get overheated in the sun. Listen, Tanner, my question is, is the St. Bernard, is that something that just exists in cartoons now? Or did it ever really, would you guys ever use one? So we do have avalanche dogs in service on the mountain. We have three dogs.

four dogs on the mountain. We have a German Shepherd, a lot, two lab labs. And then we have one kind of mixed breed. Um, and they're trained for, but they're mainly trained for avalanche rescue. Okay. So they can sniff out people buried. Let's talk about avalanches because I, as you can probably tell from my build, I'm an athlete and I do a lot of skiing. Um,

Maybe you just got to clean off the lens a little bit on your computer. I think from your build, you can tell you're a podcaster. Okay. That was such a good burn. I say that as a podcaster myself. Listen, I'm just saying you have to lean into the microphone because it's a directional mic. Thanks to Eduardo here. And that means you have to build up the scolitis multidennis. But listen, Tanner,

Uh, let's talk about avalanches. I know it's a serious subject. They're more common than people think, right? Yeah, they are. Um, mostly they're, most avalanches are human triggered avalanches. Um, at, at the resort I work at, we do avalanche mitigation, um, with explosives and also just kicking the cornice buildup. Um, so it's, it's fairly unlikely just due to mitigation, um, inside our ski area boundaries to, uh,

experience an avalanche but they are really common especially in the back country you get to set off explosives every day which i think would be a dream job yeah i would love to do yeah

It's sweet. It's a little bit puckering, but it's fun. That's cool. Puckering? Tell me. Yeah, it's a little bit. Like a butthole. Yeah, like a butthole. When you're dealing with high explosives, sometimes the asshole seals itself. Oh, I want to blow stuff up. And as an asshole, I can say that. Tanner, do you... So you set off these explosions.

And you have to make sure if you set off the explosion and it triggers an avalanche, you got to get the hell out of there. Right. Well, uh, we're, well, we try to be, and we are in a safe area. Um, so we're usually above it. Um, most of our terrain is basically a ridgeline and then we get cornice buildup. So we are on top of the cornice, uh, behind it and we throw an explosive tied to a rope over. Cool.

I think that sounds cool. What kind of explosive? It's just dynamite with a little cabin fuse. Yeah, cabin fuse igniter or booster and then a little cardboard igniter that's basically a match you put on it and pull a string in it. You're like Wile E. Coyote. I mean, you're not that far away from... It doesn't sound as sophisticated as I thought it would be. You're still lighting a fuse and chucking something that's tied to a rope. How much time do you have before it goes off? What's...

Um, it's 90 seconds, so a minute and a half. Uh, so tell us, and maybe this is one of those things that's going to save a life out there, so we should be serious about it. What if, uh, you're in a situation where you suspect, do people know when an avalanche is coming and they try to escape it? Or is it one of those things that overtakes you so quickly you just have no idea? It depends. So they can go from all different degrees and sizes. Um, I would say if you're thinking about traveling in avalanche terrain, and I think

A lot of people don't have to worry about it at resorts. It does happen in resorts, but if you're traveling in backcountry avalanche terrain, the best thing you can do is just take a class on avalanche awareness and understand what to look out for.

Other than that, like seeing at a resort, it's relatively pretty safe. Is there, have they built a mechanism or anything that you can, uh, like gear that you can carry so that if you do get trapped under the snow, you can like pull a rip cord and something goes shooting up to indicate to people where you are. I'm serious. This isn't a James Bond movie. What do you mean? You know, the world is not enough. He has a parka that turns into a giant ball that he can live inside of during an, an

an avalanche is that true yeah it's true in the movie oh well okay thanks for interrupting the guy who does this for a living and mentioning well actually r2d2 handled this on planet glyph reese's peanut butter cups are the greatest but let me play devil's advocate here let's see so no that's a good thing that's definitely not a problem

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Is there such a thing? Is there a tech that would save my life if I was? Because you talk about people that go to resorts, but I'm not some resort guy. I'm a backcountry guy. Or big country. I like that band from the 80s. Would you, what is there? Is there anything that someone can purchase?

So, yeah, if you're traveling in backcountry situations, you should always carry an avalanche beacon, which is basically a giant aluminum, basically, pole that you put together. And it's made for finding victims. You can poke and prod the snow and hit a body. And that's where, you know, you found the buried victim. Oh, I see. That's for the rescuer. I'm talking about anything that I could have on my person so that if I get buried...

you know, like a long straw I can assemble under the snow that I stick out of the snow and then I can breathe through it. Yeah. Well, there's a few things. Sorry, it's called backcountry.

Sorry, go ahead. Maybe they're laughing and stuff, but you know what? They laughed at Edison. They laughed at Tesla. They laughed at Musk, and they should laugh at Musk. What do you think about my idea with the long straw? So there is an avi lung that's attached to your backpack you wear.

and it's basically a little cube you can breathe in. The hard part about that is it's really hard to find when you're getting thrown around in an avalanche. There's also airbags that have a little CO2 cartilage on it that you pull. See, this is what I'm talking about. It will inflate in the back, and it'll kind of keep you above the surface. That's good to know. Yeah.

And it's pretty easy to avoid avalanche terrain. A lot of places have forecasters that go out and tell you what the avalanche terrain will be, that it's a danger. I'm going to avoid them. That's my strategy, just to not go to avalanche terrain. And do you have a nail clipper that you're holding, Tanner? Yeah, I was showing my nails. Okay, listen. Jesus, Tanner.

I am an iconic figure in American cultural history. And I'm chatting with you and all of a sudden I see you're doing something and I see you've got a nail clipper. You're like, yeah, I'll kill two birds with one stone. Tanner, in your double tasking here, did you think I'll cut my nails while talking to Conan or going, I'll talk to Conan while I'm cutting my nails?

Well, I was trimming them during the weight room thing, and then I decided to just fidget with it. Yeah. Listen, I didn't take it. I don't take it personally. I'm sure interrupting his nail time. Yeah. Let's see how they're looking. You ever think I'm a busy person, Conan?

Oh, yeah. OK. You know what? Good point. And by the way, Conan, you called him. He didn't even ask to do this. OK. Well, I was just curious. I had some questions and occasionally I'd like to check in on how things are going in Donnelly, Idaho. I would keep my nails long so I could claw out of the snow and ice. Oh, boy. I think you're making you're taking a big risk cutting them short, you know? Oh, yeah. But you got to think about hypothermia. Oh, well, I never really do. I run so hot.

Brain, brain cooking. What? So many ideas. You mean you think so much that it warms your body that during an avalanche you won't freeze to death? Oh, yeah. I think my resting body temperature is like 109 degrees. So the snow will just melt around you? Yeah. Okay. There's a steam cloud that follows me wherever I go when I'm skiing. Oh.

I love this. I love learning so much. And do you have a question for me, Tanner? I feel like I can't help you much. You seem like a very cool, calm, collected guy who's well-groomed. What would you like to ask me? So have you, I know you've skied before, but have you ever had to be rescued by a ski patrol? Never. And if not, what do you think your injury would be? Okay, well, that's fun. I think, well, first of all, I've never had to...

You know what I have done? I was skiing once and I saw a guy who was kind of out of control slam into somebody. And the person who got slammed hit a tree pretty hard. So I was one of those people that stopped and took my skis off and tried to make a barrier to keep other skiers away. And we waited for the ski patrol. Yeah.

That was the right thing to do, right? Make a little barrier with the skis. Someone told me maybe it's not a good idea because several people got impaled coming down the hill. You pointed them out? Yeah. I think I killed six people trying to protect the person who was lightly bruised by the tree. Are you a good skier? I'm a pretty good skier. Hey, that's cool. I've been skiing. I skied as a kid. I started out skiing in Massachusetts, which, by the way,

I love you, Massachusetts, but not ski country. The highest rise was like 45 feet above elevation. But then we started going up to New Hampshire, take a bus up there. And this was back in the day when you just skied in your jeans. And it was, I loved it. And then I thought that was skiing. And then finally, I would say sometime in the mid-90s, well into doing my late night show, I had a chance to host

some events at an Aspen comedy festival and I went to Aspen for the first time and I saw skiing

Out in the West. And it opened my eyes. It was so fantastic. I just fell in love with it. So I love it there. Do you do pizza slice French fries? Pizza slice French fries? No, no. I got out of that a long time ago. That's my way. Yeah. Well, I mean, you just you ski with pizza and French fries. She's a great skier, but she has a full complement of high carb food. So, no, I've never called Ski Patrol for help myself.

What would my injury be? I mean, man, I don't know. I'm just going to have to say I'm probably it's going to be I'm mostly leg. I'm 95% leg. And I think it's going to be something with my legs. Unless like somehow you could get an ego bruise on the slopes, you know, like I was wondering if you would be like the guy that would go like, I can see this double black and get halfway down and be like, nope, I can't do it. You know what? I would never, ever. I have too much.

I would never call ski patrol to help me get down a mountain. I'm fairly confident unless it's a straight drop cliff, I can get down something. It's not going to look great, but I can get down it. I do not think I would call to say, help me get down this mountain. I would be too, I would just rather die. What?

What? Yeah. Instead of asking for help, you would just be like, OK, this is it for me. Yeah, I would. Because I mean, first of all, think of the clicks if I'm found frozen on a mountain. Wow. But I don't want to be the I don't want to be calling you, Tanner, and saying, help me, help me. I don't want to ski down the mountain. I can't do it. Yeah, I'm good at that. I'd rather just hang out and ski and not do that. Yeah. Yeah. So you're fine with me letting myself die. Yeah. And then you get to be the guy that found me.

Yeah. Right. And I could like sell the, you're like petrified body to like, Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. What? How did you bypass? How did you bypass the coroner? Did you, how did you talk to my wife? My wife would be like, yeah, yeah, whatever you want. Yeah. I'm not using it. Yeah. I'm not. We're good. This saves us a lot of money, Tanner. And then you'd be, I'd be there frozen, completely solid in your backyard. You could hang Christmas lights on me.

As long as you trimmed my nails occasionally, it would be good. Oh, he would. We need a new coat rack in my house. You'd eventually install a digital clock in my forehead. All right. Well, Tanner, very cool talking to you. And I...

I hope I get out there. I've never skied in Idaho in my life, and I'd like to check it out sometime. I think if you come, you need to come twice. You need to come in summer and winter. You know what? I love mountain biking. Is there good mountain biking there? Yeah, I'm actually, I work as a mountain bike patroller. What? In the summer. Hey, I could join you and be your deputy for a day. Yeah, that'd be cool. Yeah, we'll give you a little badge. Can you act a little more enthusiastic, Tanner?

That's me being enthusiastic. I don't know what else. Okay. Wow. All right. Well, you need a heart scan. All right. Well, Tanner, very nice to meet you and stay safe. And I'm glad to know you're out there taking care of people. Yeah. Sweet. Thank you, Conan. All right. Take care. Cool meeting you too. Bye-bye. Thank you, Tanner. Bye-bye.

Take it away, Jimmy.

Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode.

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