Get Over Myself!
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Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com slash call Conan. Okay, let's get started.

Hey, Dan. Welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan. What? I couldn't remember if it was friend or foe. Hey, Dan. How are you? I'm doing great. Thank you guys for having me on. Where are you coming to us from, Dan? Where are you? I'm in Vacaville, California, so near Sacramento, Napa Valley area. Oh, okay. Very nice. And I'm looking at your background.

It looks like you're working on a nuclear submarine. I mean, there's all kinds of machinery behind you. It's very cool looking. What are you building? I mean, it looks like you're up to something. I'm a glassblower, a glass artist. So I work with, these are glass lathes.

So I work with glass tubing and glass rods, and I create stuff out of glass. Okay, what kind of stuff do you create out of glass primarily? Are we talking like a vase? Are we talking like a test tube? Are we talking glasses? What are you making? My main product that I make is water pipes. So I make bongs, basically. I see them back there. Look at those. Okay, so it's salivating. Yes.

You make bongs. So, and was that...

Did you start making bongs because of your personal affinity for bongs or you just like making them or you like the shape? What drew you to making bongs? I started in high school, so I feel like everyone in high school, you know, kind of wanted or needed a bong. And I liked making things, so that, you know, drew me to it. I originally started, I wanted to do welding, but it was a little complicated, I feel like, so I went into glassblowing, which was even more complicated. Yeah.

Yeah. I was going to say, glassblowing feels incredibly difficult. I mean, just the little I know about it, right? You have to, you got to heat up the material, right? And get it molten. And then you... I watched the show on Netflix. Blown away? Yeah, blown away. Yeah.

So I know I'm basically a glassblower. Okay. Yeah. And, uh, is that, is that an accurate representation of glassblowing the TV show blown away? Um, yeah, it is. Uh, mine's a little different. I use a torch, so I don't have a big furnace of glass. I have a torch that I use and then I get, uh,

I get these glass tubes in four foot lengths and then I'll create stuff out of that. So I don't have a big furnace that I pull globs of glass out of. Well, you know what? I think I have more respect for you because I think anybody can do it with a big furnace. I do. I think anybody can do it with a big furnace. Oh, big furnace. Yawn. Oh, look, I have a big furnace and I accidentally made 900 glasses today. Yeah.

But if you're using a torch and that takes real skill, I think that takes a real artist. And I know I know I know I'm probably throwing shade on a huge part of the glassmaking community, but fuck those guys. I'm with you, man. I'm with you, Dan. And I say it's torch or nothing. And I'm going to start saying that to people who say they're a glassblower. I'm going to say furnace or torch. And if they say furnace, I'm out. I just

I'm just going to walk away. And then I'm going to smash all the glass. I appreciate that. Yeah, yeah. And I'm going to drive by later and throw stones through their window. And go like, and peel out. Really took a turn. I'm sorry. If you use a furnace out there and you make glass, you know where to find me. I'm not afraid of you with your furnace.

Dan, I don't know what happened right there. I love your take on that. A neurologist would say it's a brain bleed, possibly. I don't know. I'm getting faint. But this is cool. What's the name of your company? It's called Apex Design Glass. So I made that name when I was in high school for a web design business I was doing. And then I just kept...

I kept it through my glassblowing business as well. Okay. And is it easy for people to find you if they want some of your custom-made torch-hewn bongs? Yeah, if you look up Apix Design, then yeah, I got a website, I got an Instagram. I have a good little following of people who like my glass, so it's easy to find it. When someone buys a bong, how long does that bong last and do they then come back for more bongs?

Does a person buy multiple bongs in a year? How does it all work? What's a bong life? Such a square. Well, I'm sorry. I want to know more of this bong culture.

I took an aspirin once in 1992 and I was taken to the hospital. So I don't know a lot about bongs, but I've seen them portrayed in film. Do you have some bongs there you could show us? I just want to see some of these bongs. I don't want to keep saying bongs. I actually sent you guys a gift. What?

Let me see. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. This thing is... I didn't know about this. Look at this. Oh, my God. Sir, I'm not... All joking aside, you are an artist. Truly. That is gorgeous. Look, he's done...

I mean, yes, you've got the Conan logo. You've got, oh my God, he's got the late night moon. There's three mouthpieces here. This is like the equivalent of sharing a milkshake except for a thruple at a Grateful Dead show. It's a chill chums bong so you all can take a hit at the same time. It's for when the cast of Challengers wants to use a bong together. This is beautiful. I mean, look at the...

The design is gorgeous. And then it's got this stopper has kind of a pompadour. It's the bull. What's that? It's the bull. It's not a stopper. That is the bull. I don't know the official. I don't know what the name is. This isn't the stopper. This is the cap. That's where you put the weed. No, I know the weed goes in here. He said lying. No, the weed goes into the thing you're holding. It goes into.

Right, so this, oh, I see. This is the bowl. Yeah. Yeah, okay, all right. Okay, Spicoli. Take it easy. But go ahead and show us where the stopper is. I know. So what you do is you, and then when it's heated up, you drink. No! Oh, God. Do you remember when we had Seth Rogen on the last Conan O'Brien episode and-

He on camera offered me one of his marijuana cigarettes. And do you remember this? I do. I put the wrong end in my mouth and people thought, oh, Conan's doing like a bit. I wasn't doing a bit. It's okay. I just didn't know. I know. It's okay. It's not okay. I know. I've got to start doing a lot of drugs quickly and catch up. There's so much going on here. It's beautiful. Is this a gerbil?

What? Those are gerbils, yeah. Oh my God. You put gerbils in there. Talk of gerbils. This is incredible. This thing is, we need to take Blay. Is that a butt plug? What? What? What are you doing?

How does this get in your butt with these three things in the way? What's your butt like? There's no butt plug on it. Can I just say, this is a Rorschach blot you've given us. No kidding. Everyone sees what they want to see. I just see a bong. You two are insane. This thing, Blake, you have to take multiple detailed photographs of this that capture. We shall. Dan, you're an artist. This thing is, and all, I mean, this is just a work of sculpture. Oh.

We have Conan's doodle on there. We've got the old Late Night Moon and Stars, Team Coco branding, Conan on TBS branding. It's got a big cockatoo kind of glass bowl. It could be a pompadour. It's a pompadour. Yeah, who knows? It's a three-way glass bong. So, again, all three. That's the real question. Do you think we'll ever actually three? Yes, we will. I think we will. Does it work? You know what?

Our faces are going to have to get this close. I know. For the next summer s'mores. No, no. Guess what? I will. We'll do it. Really? We'll do it. Yeah. I'll get over myself. Sure. You said that to me like, get over myself. I want to drink anything. There's no drinking when it comes to bogs. There's no drinking. You said, oh, there we do take a sip here. There's no. Can I just say one thing? It also looks like it would make a great coffee. Yeah.

And you know what? I think it would make great coffee because I see where the little creamer would go in. This is incredible. It is absolutely. It makes me want to relive some old days. Yeah. Flashback to last week. Last week in Pasadena. I was talking about the gerbil. The gerbil filed papers, by the way. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

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Winter. Snow. You know, snowman. Not me. Snowball fights. Snowball fights. That's not what I think about. Okay. I think it's a great excuse to gather with friends and crack open a cold one. Yeah. From basketball and hockey to game night, winter means more moments with the coolest people in your life. And I've got some pretty cool people in my life. Like me? No. Oh. Not you. Okay. But like my really cool friends. Oh, okay. You know who I get together with. Right. Ipatch Jones. Oh, yeah. He's cool. Yeah. Sabadu Shrimp. I have a lot of very cool friends.

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The best one. Yeah. I remember when I was out with my gang. Right. We were out on our bicycles. Oh, yeah. And we were driving around and then we pulled over and got a Miller Lite, you know, and it was really nice because it was, a lot of people don't think you don't ride a bicycle in the winter. No. But we put snow tires on our bicycles. Okay. Big chains. And it was just nice to sit with my friends.

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So, Dan, my favorite thing is when we meet fans that are so creative. We have a lot of creative fans. And, man, you have just rocketed way to the top. He's also made some glasses here. We have some glasses. These are... Oh, these are beautiful. And then he made special drinking glasses for each one of you. This is really... God. Sona, this is yours here. Oh!

Gorgeous. And this is for Conan. It's obviously the biggest one. Okay. Well, you know, you got to... Oh, my God. And then Matt here. The smallest one. Yeah, these little goblins. These are beautiful. These are... And what kind of glass? Is this glass? Is it a type of glass? Tell us what this is. Yeah, this is a scientific glassware. So, like, you'd find in really nice...

Pyrex glass, basically. So this can be used for, you know, it can go in the dishwasher. It's not sensitive to heat, so you can put hot stuff in there, no problem. This is extraordinary. Oh my God.

God. What's this? It's like a Sherlock Holmes pipe. That is really sweet, Dan. Thank you so much. A special extra gift for Sona. Oh, that's nice. That is so... That really means a lot. Thank you very much. Which is a blue... No problem. I'm glad I could get you guys some stuff. Once I heard I was going to be on here, I really wanted to get something made for you guys. This is... Well...

I just almost said it and then realized people think I'm trying to make a lame joke, but I am blown away. I wasn't trying to make a joke. I just started to say it. You should watch it first because the way they finish it is in cyanide powder. Is it safe to drink out of? Dan, can I drink out of this? Okay. How long did it take you to build that bong?

Well, I mean, I got told on Thursday that you guys wanted me to be on here. And then by Saturday, I was finishing it up. And then Sunday, I did the sandblasting and I sent it out on Monday. So if I'm really, you know, really want to get something done, I can do it. I can't believe you put this in the mail because the guy who delivers my boxes shucks them over the fence. Yeah, that's incredible. You know, I'm amazed this made it in one piece. It's incredible. Yeah.

I'm using my glass right now. I'm glad I made it to you guys. Did you have any question for me, Dan? Other than, I mean, look at this. I think it should be a requirement now. I was just going to say, more fans. More fans that send wonderful gifts. And I mean, they don't even have to have made it, but like, oh, I went to a store and I bought you this Patek Philippe watch. And I'm like, hmm, yes, add it to the pile. This made me cry a little. It's

It's beautiful. It's really sweet. It is. And also, Sona's been through a really rough time lately. And that's just, it's nice. And the no was very sweet, Dan. And things are coming your way now. Yes. Yes. Yes, they are. This is beautiful. Yes, they are. I'm glad you guys like it. Mom's going to be happy tonight. It's all fixed. Why is mommy asleep? It's four in the afternoon.

Quiet, Charlie. Quiet, Mikey. Why is Step Brothers on all day? On a loop. Wow, Dan, I cannot thank you enough. This is absolutely beautiful. Really, really great. And we're going to find a hallowed space for this because we have little spaces here that are becoming installations. Like this is our Pee Wee's Playhouse and this is going to have a prominent space here. Yeah.

And we're very proud of this and we're proud of you. Proud to have you as a fan. Really? Hey, thank you very much. And yeah, I had one quick question. I was curious, you know, as a celebrity, I,

I'll handle this. Like when I get home, I like to do stuff around the house. So like I'll help my wife doing stuff or I'll, you know, work on the backyard. And I was curious as a celebrity, is there something that you go home and your wife's like, I want these photos hung up on the wall. Like what do you do when you get home and you're asked to do something? Do you just call someone or?

I immediately pull rank. I say, do you realize who I am and what I've accomplished? Then I start to show her like a montage of things I've worked on over the years.

No, there are a big thing for my wife. Liza is she she's very good cook and she does the cooking and I am I'm not good at cooking. She really wants me to set the table. And that's important to her that I set the table. And sometimes I kind of set the table, but.

She'll make a passive aggressive comment like usually people use napkins and and then I'll go, oh, right. And then I'll go and get the net, you know, the go to the napkin drawer and get those. And, you know, did you put trivets down because I got to put something this is hot. OK, all right. Because sometimes I try to go real minimal, like setting the table means just there's two or three or four of my kids around plates.

Um, but it's important for her that I do that. And then, uh, a big knock on me is that, um, I I've, I've gotten much better at loading the dishwasher. I've gotten much better, but I think for a long time, and this goes back to childhood, I had this, I just, it was a problem for me loading the dishwasher. The way you do it or just doing it in general. When I do it, uh,

It's doing it in general. And then when I do it, it's awful. Like I'll try and jam a large plate into the silverware tray. And my wife usually ends up redoing it. And so there was twice as many calories burned. So pity this woman, because it's like asking an ape to help you with brain surgery. Yeah. And then I just go rushing around the operating room, smashing into things. Yeah.

So, yeah, I would say it all. It's most of my chores revolve around dinner ways that I can help complement and facilitate the serving of dinner. And so that's a little peek into my life. And yeah. OK, awesome. Yeah, that's that's what I wanted to hear. I was I was curious what you you know, if you called like a butler to come help you or something. Yeah, we had a butler once. Blay, how did you like it?

Still waiting for payment. Yeah, yeah. No, no Butler. Not yet. That's one of those things from just old movies that...

I have to say, it always fascinated me. It was an idea from that if someone had means, they would have a butler. Even if it was just a bachelor, there would be like a gentleman. Oh, yeah, a gentleman there who, this is my man. Yeah. You know, his name's Gordon. He'll take care of everything. And he's in the corner usually polishing a glass behind like a little cool minibar. Yeah. No, also a valet. I always thought, wow. You know, someone who...

You wake up in the morning and your clothes are all laid out and then you have to go. We travel so much for the travel shows. I'm always running around cramming things into bags and going, where's my extra special sunblock? And it was made by the government.

Anyway, that's what I do. I would say it's a fascination. No, no butler and still no valet.

But one day it'll all come my way. But now I've got the world's only triple bong with my name on it. I can't believe there might be a point in the future where the three of us put our faces that close together. We're going to. And that's where you're going to see me up close and fall in love. Oh, my God. Sweet. All right. Well, Dan, thank you so much. I salute you. And I love, I mean...

You're an artist. You really are. You are a terrific artist. And even though we are not related, you're a young lad. So I'm allowed to say I'm proud of you. I really am. I'm glad when I see I really do get energized when I meet all these young people that can kick ass and do all these amazing things. You're a craftsman. You're out there killing it. So thank you so much. And best of luck with your company.

Apex. Apex. Yeah, Apex Design, yeah. Apex. A-P-I-X. It's right here. Cheers, Dan. Oh, there it is. I was distracted by my own face. Thank you guys so much. Thank you. All right, shout out to Apex. I can't wait to see you guys use that. You will. You will. All right, take care, Dan. All right, thank you guys.

Take it away, Jimmy.

Supervising producer, Aaron Blair. Associate talent producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate producers, Sean Doherty and Lisa Byrne. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are down there.

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