Rascally Nincompoop
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Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com slash call Conan. Okay, let's get started. Hi, Nikhil. Welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan. Hey, guys. So nice to be here. You've been in my ears for so long. For years. Years for years. We've been in your ears for years. Very nice. Yeah, I didn't want to start like that, but it's happened. It's what happens. Yeah.

And your name is Nikhil, is that correct? It's pronounced Nikhil. Nikhil. No, no, no. Let's try Nikhil. Let's try Nikhin. I know. I love correcting people on the pronunciation of their name. It cracks me up. No, Nikhil. Nikhil. Conan. Conan.

I deserve that. You are in Bangalore, India. Is that correct? Yes. Yes, sir. I have been to India. I was there briefly for work a number of years ago. Actually, Sona came with me on this assignment and I was in Jaipur, but I've never I would love. I didn't really get a chance to experience India.

experience India as much as I wanted to. It's a fascinating country. I love the people. It is. And I would love to go and visit. Tell me a little bit about yourself, Nikhil. Okay, so I live in Bangalore, India, which is in the south. Most people visit places north. I think you should come visit the south if you end up, if you're banned

I have to wait for my ban in a lot of countries to end. Yeah. Yeah. It's actually so hard for us Indians to get a visa to come there. So it's nice to hear when you guys have some difficulty coming here.

Yeah, we had we had years and years ago we did a sketch and it's all a misunderstanding, but it was a perfectly fine sketch. But one of our writers went there but didn't fill out the correct paperwork or something. So we ended up on some list. But I think it's all being taken care of. So, you know, awesome. Yeah, we won't even probably mention that, you know, it probably won't even come up.

Because it'll all get taken care of. Trust me, I don't think it's a big problem. Awesome. So I am a video creator and it sounds insane to say, but I'm also a talk show host and

I can't believe I'm saying that to you. But yeah, I've done 40 episodes of a show called Menu Please, where I interviewed Netflix stars over a meal. So we went to different restaurants, talked about food and about their movie. And it was a lot of fun. Well, wait a minute, Nikhil. Nikhil, you are a talk show host. It sounds like you're a very successful one. You've done this show with Netflix stars. It sounds like you're... Now here's the catch. Yeah?

It was a Netflix India YouTube show. So the show was on Netflix's YouTube channel. But I like to say Netflix because it sounds cool. It was awesome. It was one of the coolest experiences. Well, I like to say I won an Oscar because it sounds cool. But I didn't. But Nikhil, I would say you are talking to people. You seem to be having success at it. I wouldn't put yourself down, I think. And you seem like a very personable person.

a funny guy. I think you just, you don't have to qualify it. You are a talk show host. You're having success. Fair enough. I am talk show host. It's just surreal to say to you. But one cool thing is you and I have actually interviewed the same person. Who's that? It's Veer Das. Oh, Veer Das. Yes, of course. Yeah. It's like six degrees of separation, except

Yeah, it was super cool. I actually asked him what it was like to be on the show. He performed stand-up on your show way back. And yeah, he just said such great things about you. It was cool. Oh, terrific. Terrific comedian. Very talented. And we'll see. No, this is us talking shop because...

we've interviewed the same person and it sounds like, is this, and this is something that you're interested in doing professionally for the rest of your life? Do you think, well, not the rest of your life. I'm not going to do it for my entire life, but I have, still have dreams, dreams, dreams. I hope your dreams come true. Thank you. Thank you. Well, thank you for that. I would like to be a balloonist. Oh, I'd like to go up in a hot air balloon and travel the world. Oh, that.

kind of balloonist I thought making animals well I tried that and it didn't work the kids were like that is not a dog I was like shut up you

You can't hit kids with a balloon. You apparently still counts as hitting. You sound very qualified for this job. So let's let's keep the conversation on you and not on my crimes. You you live in Bangalore, India, Nikhil, and you've had some success doing a talk show. And what's your living situation like? Do you live with your parents? Do you live do you live alone?

I currently actually live in a four bedroom house with three other guys. And it's very unique, a unique situation. So I'm currently on the top floor. And we live in lowering degrees of relationship status. So I'm at the top. Yes. And I'm a single guy. Below me, not literally, is a guy who is in a situationship.

You know, one of those things. Next to him is a guy who's in a very nice long-term relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend. And below them is a guy who's currently engaged. Oh, wow.

Yeah, it's quite unique, actually. So as you get further down the apartment, you start at the top. The more respectable. You were single. As you get down, this sort of, yes, the more serious the relationships become. And are your roommates, you all get along? We do. It's very surprising. There's been no problems except for one guy. Okay, tell me about this one guy. Is it you? Yeah. No. No.

Oh, wait, they probably say that about me. But there's one guy, his name is Jeet. And all he does is...

He's a serial rascal. Is that a thing I can say? Serial rascal? He's just a rascal. Yeah. Yeah, wow, you really blew the doors off. You can't talk that way. You can't use the, you can't call someone a rascal. His reputation may never recover if this was 200 years ago. No, you can call someone a rascal. That basically just means they're kind of fun. Amazing. Next, I'm going to call him a nincompoop. I hope that's it.

Wow, your language. We're going to have to put a warning on this podcast. It's going to be all beeps. Yeah. I mean, if you're a child and you're living in 1820, you might not want to listen to this podcast. Although it's still probably okay. Yeah, exactly. Income poop, rascal. So, okay. So your roommates, it's a good group. Like if I visited you...

you, me, and the roommates would get along, you think? 100%. There's one tall guy, so you'd have somebody to look in the eye with. There's one guy who's super responsible, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, so I guess you can not do those things with him. And there's me at the top, just making videos, so I

I guess we could do that. I'm not very interesting, to be honest. And then there's the annoying guy who we can call an income poop together. Yes. That'd be great. Yes. Rascally income poop. We'll call him. Yeah. So, okay. And will any of your roommates be familiar with me or my work if I visit? Yeah. So one of them, the tall guy, actually, I put all of them in

I spread this podcast like the plague. I've been listening to every episode. So anytime we're doing a long road trip, this is what I put on. My favorite is the John Krasinski episode. It makes me laugh out loud. So one of my roommates, Anus, his name is,

We, yeah, he's a big fan. He's asleep right now. But if he knew that I was talking to you right now, he'd lose it. Oh, really? He's a Conan fan? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you didn't tell him? I didn't tell him. So he's asleep right now. He's a big fan of mine. And he doesn't, and you're in Bangalore, India, and you and I are having a conversation, and he sleeps not knowing that.

That the greatest hero of his life is speaking to you on the top floor. That is exactly right. How would he react if I walked into his room? Does he know? So he doesn't know that you and I are talking. If I were to walk into his room, how do you think he would react?

After his stroke, I think he just like, I don't know, hug you. And he's a fun guy. He's like one of those extreme polar opposite personality guys where when he's in work mode, like he doesn't talk. He just walked through the room and he's just like a white walker from Game of Thrones. And he's very focused. But when he's out and having fun, he's just the most fun guy making everybody, you know, just have a great time. So I think he turned into that mode.

after this said stroke. This guy, I like this guy. He's a big Conan fan. Uh, and I would love to, it'd be fun to surprise him. I think, you know, I think, and then we could all, we could all go out and have a good time. What would we do for fun? Okay. So Bangalore, uh, we used to be the garden capital of India. Um, then it became the Silicon Valley of India. Um,

And so they removed all the gardens. But throughout this, it's always been the pub capital of India. So we have an insane pub culture here. And I know all of you, Sona, Matt, I know you guys especially will have a great time over here. In fact, there's a pub called Toit over here. T-O-I-T. It's like super famous. Toit! Toit! Toit! Yeah. Toit!

Yes. All of the above. You know what I love? Nikhil just got as annoyed with you as we do. He doesn't. He just met you. He's in Bangalore. And he went, right. Yeah, right. I thought we were all doing the toit. No, you didn't do it. You maybe overdid it. Toit! Uh.

Wow. But the cool thing about Torit is, so they brew their own beer. I'd love for you to review it considering you're an Irishman and you guys... I like the beer, sure. Oh, look at you. They also have restrooms. Uh-huh.

Wow, I love a bar with a restroom. Selling point. That just went to the top of my Yelp review. They have a restroom. 11 stars. Okay, so this bar, please tell me more. This bar, Toit, has a restroom, yes? They have restrooms. This is important, yes.

I think it's pronounced to-ah, by the way. I think it's some French word. No, it's... Oliver's Bangalorean. To-ah. Please. Here it's... Sona has decreed that it is to-ight. Anyway, to-ah. To-ee. To-ee.

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See you out here.

Sonia, you like to travel. You like to go away and have a good time. I do. I like taking the boys and Tack and I go somewhere. Yeah. For the holidays this year, we're thinking about, you know, just taking a trip to, you know, Lake Arrowhead for a week or something, you know, just somewhere nearby. Lake Arrowhead, that'd be beautiful. It would. And then it occurred to me recently, what happens, because you've got a lovely home. You guys have a beautiful home. You've done a very nice restoration on it. What happens to your home when you guys are away? It just sits there. Doyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoy

It just sits there. It shouldn't. I know. Think about it. If you host, okay, if you host with Airbnb while you're away, it's basically like you're getting paid to travel. Exactly. I mean, it's genius. I know. So don't leave money on the table the next time you're out of town. When you're away, your home could be an Airbnb. Yeah.

It's a cool idea. Think about it. I will. And I've got good ideas. Your home, a.k.a. your future Airbnb, might be worth more than you think. I think yours would be worth a lot because you guys did a beautiful job on it. Thank you. I hope so. Yeah. Find out how much your home's worth at Airbnb.com slash host. So I have a question for you. Have you gotten your butts back to super cuts? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

That's what it says right here. I figured. But why would it be butts plural just to rhyme with supercuts? I think so, yeah. Because it's not supercut. It's supercut. You would say get your butt to supercut, but because it's supercuts, they said get your butts. Well, that's on them, not on me. Yeah. Well, guess what? The point is a lot of people have gotten their butts to supercuts. Good. Well, those people are talking about supercuts in a good way.

People are talking about Supercuts. They got nice things to say. And that's how you know they're doing something right. Yes. Yeah. Last month alone, more than 40,000 people left a Google review for Supercuts. That's a new review every minute. There's a review being birthed as you list being birthed. I know that's a weird word choice. Yeah. Then they spank it and it cries. I like Supercuts. And you know how those 40,000 people rated Supercuts? 4.8 out of 5 stars. Wow.

That's crazy. It's just basically perfect. It is. Why supercuts? Because at supercuts, you get an incredible haircut from an expert stylist tailored to you. Supercuts, you pay a reasonable price, not a lot, slightly more than a burrito. Just slightly more than a burrito. Depends on where you get the burrito.

I like to buy a burrito that has a gold watch in it. Anyway, at Supercuts, they work around you. Check in ahead at supercuts.com or just walk right in. No appointment needed. Supercuts wants your feedback, too. It's going to be good. That's why they want it. So get your butts back to Supercuts. This message is brought to you by BetterHelp.

You know what my favorite part of the holiday is? You light a fire. You know, you get that Christmas music playing. Or whatever holiday you prefer. Right. Could be any holiday. It could be Valentine's Day. No, that doesn't make sense. Oh. Specifically at Christmas. Okay. I just was trying to include all different religions that happened around that time of year. Oh, that's what you were talking about. Yeah, you totally screwed up. That's just, if you're listening to Valentine's Day music...

I think something's wrong with you. Well, anyway, there are lots of ways to get cozy during the holiday season, whether it's a mug of cocoa or wrap it up in a blanket. There's another way too, therapy. Therapy is a great way to bring yourself some comfort that never goes away, even when the season changes. And people, I think, sometimes forget that taking care of their mental health is a very important part

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So in front of the restrooms, they have a portrait of you. What? And every time I go there and I get piss drunk and I have to go get piss. You have to. Because I'm drunk. Yes, you have to. Am I drunk right now? No.

No, no, I don't think so. Sorry, it's 1.30 in the night. I take a selfie with that portrait every time. I have a collection. I have a folder actually on my phone. Let's see. Bring one up. Yeah, bring one up. Oh my God! Oh, wow.

Wait, why is that? That is a joke. Wait a minute. Why does it say restrooms and then a photo of me? With a barn owl for some reason. Oh, yeah. No, that was when we were launching the TBS show a number of years ago. I guess I'm flattered that if you go to Bangalore and you go to Toit...

and you go to use the restroom, is it for the men's room or the women's room? Or both? What would you prefer? You know, I'm gender fluid. Wait, you are flattered by this? Don't you want the picture to be more sort of out in the open? No, I've learned...

I've learned that everyone goes to the restroom, especially at a bar. Yeah. Football is high. It's the perfect place. It's the most trafficked area. So I often, if a place has a photo of me, and sometimes they do, you know, sort of downscale, you know, burger joints where I've gone and I've made them put up a picture of me. I ask people.

I ask them to put me near the restaurant. But it doesn't bother you that your picture is associated with people just going pee-pee and poo-poo? No. No, those are beautiful. That's how we, those are, that's how we live. And I'm sorry, I'm sorry that

Matt just used those offensive terms. Yeah, I've done that. You, of course, you started with Rascal. I thought I was bad. He's a pirate. Yeah. Pee-pee-poo-poo guy. You'll be pleased to know the portrait is in between both rooms. So the doors are on either side, if you can imagine that. Everybody can see this image clearly.

When they go to pee. People associate me with great bladder discomfort. Yeah. That's... No, okay. Well... You're a laxative. Yes. Maybe. Okay. Maybe. I'm intrigued. I'm intrigued, A, that you have a roommate who's a big fan, B, that there's a portrait of me. I mean, there's a lot that recommends...

Bangalore. I have one fan and there's a picture of me in or near a restroom. And what about your career? Are you enjoying your your work as a talk show host? Are you enjoying it?

So I'm currently between posting jobs, which means those shows are ended. So one of the shows was Menu Please. The other was Food Wars, another show where I reviewed fast food. And both of those are over because we've run out of both celebrities and fast food joints here in India. And I'm currently, I guess, in a state of figuring out what I want to work on. And I'm actually thinking of working on a

Talk show. Oh. Yeah. And the premise of which is I take a small crew, go to a sort of enter a stranger's home with their permission, set up over there and shoot every episode interviewing an ordinary person in their unique house, talking about their unique items and what makes them them. That's the idea right now. Oh, that's a cool idea. I kind of like that idea. I mean, the problem is every now and then you'll get, you know.

People who aren't murdered. No, you won't get murdered. But yeah, but it's like when you do a talk show, there are good nights. There are nights that aren't as good. It's, you know, it's luck of the draw if you're in a volume business. But I like that idea. And who knows? Maybe you and I would come up with some kind of show together. You know, we could do a show. I am...

Going to clip that and listen to it every day of my life until it happens. But it's always possible. Maybe we could think of an idea, you know, something that works where we're co-hosts of some kind of show. You know, we shoot an episode and we get it on the air and we get it out there to the people of India. What do you think of that? I think that's a pretty bad idea. I'm just kidding. That's the best idea I've heard in my goddamn life.

You really had me convinced it was a bad idea there for a second. Well, that would be an honor. Yeah. So we can always think of what that is. We need that right. That spark of inspiration. Toit. There you go. Good one. Shoot it from Toit. You could shoot it from Toit. Hell, we could shoot an episode of the show. I think at. You've stumbled onto something here, Matt. I have. Yes. By saying Toit.

You made it clear that we shoot the episode. We set up in front of the portrait of me that exists. The bathrooms. Between the two, the ladies' room and the men's room. We can interview people going in and out. Yeah, we can interview people going in and out going to the bathroom.

How was your bowel movement? Okay. Oh, boy. Well, it would have to be asked. No, that's coming on the way out. You interview them on the way in. And that way the interviews have to be short because they really can't hang out long. Yeah, because also if you get them on the way out, maybe they didn't wash their hands.

and touch them. Okay. Are you touching them? No. Are you touching them? To shake their hands? No. You have to. It's talk show etiquette. I guess you have to. You have to. Yeah, you have to shake their hands. And often, I just want to say, in all the years that I did talk shows, which was almost 30 years, often I could tell they had just used the restroom and not wiped their hands. True story. True story. Al Roker, serial offender. Disgusting. Disgusting man. You'd hear the flush and he'd come out just as he was introduced. Oh.

And you could tell those hands haven't been washed. They're dry. Roker, not Roker. Like I said, great idea for the show. I love it that I'm pitching myself to Nikhil in Bangalore, India, and he's...

not enthused. This is my resting state of enthusiasm. It's very high right now. You know what? That could be blood sugar. I'm so enthusiastic. That could be blood sugar. You know, you should look into that. You should make sure you... Probably. It's also 1.30 in the night right now and I feel zoinked but excited at the same time. I feel it's just very confusing. Yeah. And also surreal. It's a little bit of a fever dream it feels like almost. Yes.

Exactly. I'm intrigued by, there's a lot of things that impressed me with Nikhil. I think that you are a, I think he's, you just seem like a natural to me. You're very funny. And I think you'd be, I think you are a terrific talk show host. I can tell just by chatting with you. Thank you.

I'm intrigued by this idea you have for a new talk show in Bangalore. I'm a little intrigued by this roommate who's a fan. You say a big fan? Yeah, we call him Anus. And we don't know why. It's like one of those names. Yeah, that sounds like someone who would like my stuff. Create for your name. Is that not his name? I thought when he first said it, I thought that was his actual name.

Oh, that's my bad. No, his name is Anirudh. His name is Anirudh. But we call him Anus. And you don't know why? You don't know why? No, it's like something that entered the zeitgeist of this house without us realizing it. It just sort of flowed in. And we call him Anus now. I know.

name and I was like don't laugh Sona everybody thought it when we first heard anus we all stopped ourselves from laughing we all thought it Nikhil in a house with all these guys the one who's a big Conan fan is called anus yeah to be fair he's not like let the name stuck yet like when we say anus out loud he turns and then he gives this face of like oh I can't believe I'm

allowing this to happen. So when you come here, if you christen him officially, I think he'll be

It'll stick from then on. Well, I guess that's a good reason to fly all the way to India. Is to make sure that the name Anus sticks. Just recap. Your biggest fan is named Anus and your portrait is hanging between two bathrooms. This is fantastic, Nikhil. I feel enlightened. I feel lifted. Well, I like you. You're a fine fellow. I think and I do. I do.

I do think you've got what it takes. I really do. I think you're a natural. Do you think that I'd be able to help you get your concept for a talk show where you go to people's houses? Do you think I could help you get that off the ground if I came to Bangalore? Absolutely. I mean, for starters, I'd love to do

a full pilot with you, perhaps in your hotel room or my bedroom right here. We could shoot one of these episodes. That sounded weird the way I said it, but the episode would be completely fine. No, it's not strange at all. It's totally normal in this business to invite people to do an interview in their bedroom. Oh, that's how I got started. It would be great. It would almost be like training for me. You could be a guest and a coach at the same time. Terrific. Yeah, yeah.

Either way. And what are we, are we do? Yeah, go ahead. Sorry, go ahead. No, you go, you go ahead. You go ahead. This is my show. This is how I'd be on my show. I'd love you to speak first. Oh, well, yes, I could be a guest. I could also maybe give you some pointers from my almost 30 years of experience. And what about my fee? Do we talk about that now? Or is that something that comes up later?

Later, like a lot later. Lot, lot, lot. Just very late. You're going to do very well, Nikhil. You're going to do very, very well in this business. Thank you. Hey, Nikhil, I really, I like talking to you and I hope we get to cross paths because that would be very cool. Me too. This has been a huge, huge honor and so nice to meet you guys, Sona and Matt as well. Thank you. Yeah.

I really do think we're talking about, I think it's low blood sugar. I really do. You just seem to lose all energy at different points, Nikhil. You have to keep some almonds in your pocket. Okay, chocolate covered almonds. All right, I'm going to make sure. That's my first tip as a talk show host. Done.

Almonds in your pocket. That saved Colbert. I told him that. I could see him lose energy, and he's been a superstar ever since. Perfect. Saved his career. Hey, thank you so much, Nikhil. Very cool to talk to you, and we'll see what happens. Thank you so much.

Bye-bye. Take care. Bye-bye.

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