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Hi, my name is Rashida Jones and I feel blank about being Conan O'Brien's friend. Okay, there's a blank on the page. Yeah. But you also feel blank. Well... I've never seen more honesty in your eyes. And I think, I respect that. Fall is here, here
back to school ring the bell brand new shoes walkin' blues climb the fence books and pens I can tell that we are gonna be friends
Two. Hey there! Welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. I just twirled a Kleenex box into the air with great force that amused everybody. I don't know why I'm sitting here with Diggle Puss Johnson, a.k.a. Son of Obsession, and, of course, the highly competent Matt Gourley. How are you, Matt? What?
Wait a minute. That is the most confusing. Is that an insult or a compliment? That's an insult to me. Yes, there you go. Yeah, it's a bank shot. I got her. Okay, then I'll let that one pass. Oh, will you? Oh, good for you. Sona, how are you? What's the word out on the street? I feel like you're in touch with the common man. Okay, you know what? Because I'm not. I live in a bubble, as you know. Yes, okay. So I use a delivery service for my...
Why'd you pause? I don't, because I was trying to think of a word I could use to make it sound like it's, hey, it's cool. It's just my thing. So is there a Grubhub then for, is that what it is? Yeah, I use a service called Ease. What's up, Ease? And can you spell that for me? Give me some money. E-A-Z-E.
Yeah. So E-A-Z-E. I mean, this is not a promo for them. I don't approve of that. Well, you could tell me, Seth. Wacky tabacky. You don't approve of it? So E's is... No, no. I don't want people poking on a jazz cigarette. Poking on it. Poking on it. Oh, please. I've been around. Toking on it. Yeah, well, listen. That's the newer phraseology. The old one was poking on a...
poking on a jazz cigarette in the alley. So anyway, my question is, Ease, how does it work? What do you do? You go online. And this is not, seriously, this is not an ad. Do not fast forward through this because we are not getting money from Ease. Sona may get a, what is it? A little bit of credit in my account. So what is it? So anyway, you order your... Instead of going to like dispensary, they have all this stuff online. What is it you like? What is your...
I like little gummies, like little five milligram gummies that chill me out. And yesterday I was in the mood for like a little pre-rolled mini joint. To poke on. To poke on. If we're going to use the correct terminology, yeah. Yeah, oh yeah, to poke on some grass. Yeah, so you're poking on a little J-bone. You ordered up some Lil' Pokies. So anyway...
Why am I talking about it? So the guy comes, really nice guy. How do you know? I'm just going to ask a couple of questions and I'm sincere about these. What's the difference between you're in the mood for a gummy? Yeah. A five milligram gummy or a what you said is a foreshortened. Is a little thing. Can I be honest? Yeah. The gummy, you have to wait for it to hit you like 45 minutes, 30 minutes to an hour. Right. And when you just want to feel it right away, I just go for a little like mini little mini little.
mini j-bone yeah okay smoke them out your eyes why are you doing that mini j-bone so so wait okay so you're you get this uh how long is it would you say is it she's this big okay she's like uh i don't know two inches yeah an inch yep and so you get that wow he did not no no come on just so so uh
It's so short. Do you have to use, what do you use, like tweezers to hang on to it? No, no, no. It's not like a roach. It has a little cuff. It's got a little filter. I see. I got it. And then you just, you... Okay. And this gives you, this gives Mama her hit right away. Gives Mama her hit right. I don't have to wait. Because who wants to wait around for 45 minutes? You'd have to watch, that's almost a whole...
you know, segment of CNN. You know, it's like you have to wait. You have to wait till the next story comes around, you know, where they go like anyway. And then when you see the dog on the treadmill the second time, you know, you've watched about 45 minutes. It's like a whole love is blind episode. Basically. Same thing. Have you watched CNN lately? No. They're all in a hot tub. That's cool.
That's cool. Yeah. I would not be surprised. Yeah, not at all. They're doing anything they can for ratings. But anyway, so what... So the guy came to deliver and, you know, you give your license because they're very, you know, strict about whatever you're ordering and you have to
pay and stuff. So I gave him my license and my credit or my card. I didn't want to make sure that you're of age. Of age. Absolutely. Yeah. You have to be 21. So I gave it to him and then he's like, oh, let me get my reader. And I was like, oh, I'll go so you don't have to come back all the way. And then we go and then he goes,
he's like, can I ask you a question? He goes, do you work for Conan O'Brien? And I go, yeah. And he goes, I wasn't sure because my license says Tollene, which is my first name. And then it turns out he was at your last Tonight Show. And he waited in the rain for hours to go and watch your last Tonight Show.
Tonight Show and he says he was the last person that they let in. Oh, that's nice. And he said it was a really special day. He's been a huge fan of yours for a really long time and I was like, shut up and give me my weed. Free weed. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Come in, Tonight Show, emotional moment in, uh, give me the weed! Uh, uh,
Well, that's very sweet. Did you get his name? I did. I think I could say it. Nick. I'm pretty sure his name is Nick. Just a shout out to Nick. That was, uh, means a lot to me that you waited, that you came to that show and, uh, had my back in that weird time. I think that's very cool. Yeah. And, um, and, uh,
Now, is he going to be your regular? No. If you ordered from them again, would he come back or is it a different person every time? It's a different person every time. All right. Yeah. Hook us up, Ease. No, I'm good, Ease. They're going to hook you up? Yeah. With what? What do you want? You do not partake. Do you? Occasionally, but I don't do very well on it.
No. No, I'm probably like you or my head just starts racing and, you know. No, my problem is just as I exist is a problem. So the idea of distorting that seems... Wouldn't it mellow you out at all?
No, I don't think so. What do you think? I used to do it. I think it would. I think you are the candidate for it, actually. I think it might help you, yeah. I had 10 years of solid weed use. I didn't know that about you. You were a pothead? Do you wake and bake? No, but I'd noon and bake. You know, it was like alcohol. Nothing before noon. Before noon? God, the rules have changed. Okay.
But all I would do is hang with my best buddy and watch the shittiest movie possible. That's fun. I know, it's the greatest thing ever. But then it all turned on me and it doesn't work anymore. Oh, it turned on Tack too. Tack's not a guy. And people keep saying, oh, there's a strain for you. So what would you prescribe me, Sona, as someone who is- An edible. An edible. But what variety of edible? I think that you need the kind of, maybe a hybrid that would just kind of like-
chill you out or an indica they call it. That's the one that makes you kind of sleepy. Eduardo, you just jumped in on that. You think indica is the one. Indica will chill you out. Yeah. Do you guys want me chilled out? I'd like to see it. I would...
Let's try it. Let's get high. All those things of your size, because you're a tall guy, I feel like you need quite a bit. Also, you've been around me. I have a high tolerance. Yeah. Do you really? Yeah. I have a very high tolerance for stuff. I will say we were on a trip somewhere, and it was all, we were on a plane, and everyone was sleeping. I was reading a book, and you came back to talk to me, and I was like, oh, man, aren't you sleeping? And you're like, oh, I took an Ambien, but it's like throwing a Tic Tac into the sun. Yeah. Yeah.
That's one of my favorite things you've ever said. That's what I said, yeah. No, it's true. It's true. I'll go to the... I mean, I don't know what it is, but if I go to the dentist and they give me what they think is a massive dose of Novocaine, then they go to drill into my tooth and I feel everything. And I go, hey! And they're like, oh, right, we looked at your chart. You need 40 times that to put you down. You're like an elephant. So that would be my issue, is that I would have...
I would have like seven of what you just said. Which I think is, that's fine. And then I'd still be like, hey there, let's do a podcast. Blah!
and there'd be no difference. I think we should, I think I want you to try it. You know what I think would be funny? If we equipped you guys with blow darts that shot, that shot little Indica darts and I could come in and I could be like, all right, let's get started. Then, ow, my neck. And then you get me and you get me and I start gyrating and then you keep hitting me and then I'm just covered in darts. But I'm still like,
all right, we got to get to Rashida Jones. Yes. And nothing takes me down. You talk like you're high all the time. Like what you just said, that's something people would say when they're high. Yeah. Like shoot me with weed darts. Yeah. The fact that you're completely sober and you
think of these things? I told you, I had a doctor who I had an initial visit with a doctor once and he ran through all the questions and he said, OK, let's talk about drug use. And I said, I don't do drugs. And he said, well, what about cocaine? And I said, I don't do cocaine. He said, you know, these questions don't work if you don't tell the truth. And I said, I don't do cocaine. He said, I've seen your work. Yes. And I'm like, I don't. I've never done it in my life. It's just
I don't know. I'm all fucked up. Let's get into it. My guest today is a talented actress, writer and director who starred as Ann Perkins in Parks and Recreation. Now you can see her in the new Apple TV Plus series, Sunny. I'm very excited that she's here today. I adore her. Rashida Jones, welcome.
The last time we talked to you, and it's no secret, I adore you. Same. And you were on Zoom because it was during COVID times, which we now know was a hoax. Fixed with bleach. Yep. Sona's words, not mine. But anyway. Do we really need the masks? We didn't really. Please, Sona. What were they injecting into our arms? Sona, please. Sona. Okay, sorry. Sona, please. You're in America now, okay? We have science here. Please.
But you were over Zoom, and this is one of the things, I love doing the podcast, but if I'm talking to someone over Zoom who I don't care that much about, I'm okay with it. Sometimes I even prefer it. But Rashida Jones, no. No. That cannot happen. That will never happen again. Because you like to reach out and just grab different parts of my face while we're talking. Which is my way of showing affection. Yeah, it's your language of love. It's my language of love is to reach out and just grab a woman's face. Yeah.
Which is, I think, the most erotic part of the body. A nose. An upper cheek I've always found to be... We've talked about this, but I have a brother, Neil, who always will be watching TV and he'll always point out a part of... There'll be a woman on the news talking. He'll be like...
The nape of her neck is just quite lovely. Ew. Ew, Neil. The nape of a neck? No. Does every Irish person have a brother named Neil? Yeah, I think we do. Okay. Let's check it. It is court mandated that you have a brother named Neil. Even your brother Neil has a brother named Neil. Who finds other parts where the wrist meets the ulna bone. What? What?
What are you talking about? It's very creamy right there. I like that. So nice to have you here. So nice to be here. And, you know, we were talking just before we started recording about, I was telling you a story about someone I used to know who would literally, if they were thinking that they're, that
that someone was sending them bad energy, they would break up the field in front of their face and toss the bad energy away while you were talking to them. It looked like they were grabbing a gnat out of the air, shaking it like dice and tossing it to the side. And this is, you know, when I first came out to LA and I was meeting actors, actresses, some people would do things like that. And I was telling you and you were like, I kind of get it.
I kind of get it. And I think as women, we're more intuitive. Just kidding. I'm not going to go down that road. But I do think if you're going to believe in science, I mean, energy, exchange of energy, molecules, it's happening all the time. I mean, it's basic physics. I don't know about somebody's boyfriend interfering with your...
line of vision. But I do think that like there's vibes. I believe in vibes. I do strongly. Yes, I do. I do think there's got to be something to that. Yes. But the boyfriend was not present, right? No, the boyfriend was right here. No, he wasn't. No, no, no. Yeah. The boyfriend came out of a manhole. And no, this was someone who was just talking to me and then suddenly interrupted and gathered up the bad forces and tossed him to the side.
And I was a little surprised. And then she said, oh, I think I'm getting some bad energy from my ex-boyfriend who was like in Portland. We were in L.A. And so I thought, OK, I'm from Boston. We cover our faces when someone's actually punching us in the face. You know, like that's what we reserve that for, which happens a lot. But now you're in California, baby. Yeah. We cover our faces for different reasons. Yeah.
energy, energy, COVID. Alleged COVID. Alleged COVID.
I'm very happy you're here. I think the whole room is elevated by your presence because you have great energy. Proving the point. It's true. Proving the point. I agree with it. I mean, it's and she probably heard like I think that when your ears ringing, someone's thinking about you. So I believe in that stuff. I believe in the evil eye. I think that all that stuff. What's the evil eye? My ear rings all the time. Does that mean somebody is always thinking about me? I have someone in this chronic. Only one of you five. I've been staring at you.
I think about Rashida all the time. And Liza's always coming into a room and I'm just focusing really hard. She's like, what are you doing? I'm like, I'm thinking about Rashida. The only constant in your life.
Liza's totally cool with it. She's like, well, Rashida's cool. She gets it. What are you going to do? You know what's funny? I know also just before we went on mic, I was mentioning a good friend of mine for a long time, Lisa Kudrow, and I'm told that you did her show, which is Who Do You Think You Are? Yeah. I did it and had not a great experience. Not anyone's fault. Wait, why? Well, because Lisa's show that she executive produces, they take people of note and they find out their lineage.
And so they, Lisa said, oh, we're going to find out so much fascinating stuff about your lineage and who you are. And I said, I don't think so.
I just don't think so. I think we were just people that stole horses in Ireland. And Lisa was like, don't be ridiculous. You're being crazy. No, no. Look at you, self-deprecating Conan. No, no, no. So they took my saliva and they ran it through the machines. And I heard nothing for like six months to the point where I called Lisa. And she was- Insecure about your DNA? Yeah. That's amazing. Yeah.
And she said, you've been linked to like nine crimes. No, no, I'm kidding. No, she said, yeah, there's nothing. Oh my God. And I said, nothing? I mean, no great, great, great, great, great, great grand nephew of Charlemagne. You know, everyone's kind of related to Napoleon or somebody. No, I'm related to no one. They went back about, I think, nine generations and then I was just related to rocks. Yeah.
Not even Stonehenge, though. That is fascinating, though. And not good rocks. Rocks that like... Boring rocks. Yeah, propped up an outhouse.
That's a little tilty. That is a bad experience. Yeah. And so there was nothing there. There was no... But you found out some cool stuff. I did. But let me just say to that point, maybe that's because you really are like a one of a kind. You should feel better about yourself because you stand on your own. That's like the ultimate anti-Nepo baby find. Right. Like, no, you're the only reason you're here. Right. There was...
There's just nothing back there. And so I will, and in a way I willed myself into being. That's right. And this is a terrible insult to my brothers and sisters who are lovely people, but I willed myself into being, they had to be born.
Does that make any sense? Are you calling yourself like a Christ? Yes. They were born of my mother. But I just, I was just this. You were born of rocks. I was. Of rock born. Two mossy rocks hit each other. And then there was like some weird friction and then just this angry energy. You are describing your sex life. Two mossy rocks. Oh my God. Don't get me. Don't get me all excited. Oh my God. I just watch mossy rock videos all the time. Fuck off.
Mossy rocks rubbing up against each other and I get all. But what did you find out? Oh, God, I had a super intense experience. That's what I thought you were going to say is that you had a super intense experience where I, you know, I don't know if I'd ever do this now. But 20, 15, 20 years ago, it felt appropriate for somebody to say, you don't know where you're going, but just pack everything.
clothes for cold weather. I don't know if I'd ever do that now. That sounds like a lot to ask. So I packed some clothes. We went to Ireland. We started in New York. Then we went to Ireland. And then I ended up in Latvia.
Which is where my family's from. And we kind of never... Which side of your family? My mother's side. Okay. So my dad is obsessed with genealogy and he's done so much research on his own for decades. So we actually know a lot about our family history on my dad's side. And it's pretty wild because it's like...
a mix of a lot of different things. Like we have kind of on our like enslaved side, we have like some stuff with owners and they had babies. And so we have like a lot of like royalty and American presidents in our lineage from that side. And so they tried to follow my dad's path a little bit.
hit a dead end with one man named Henry Dixon who arrived on the shore somewhere in the south and then they started to track my mom's side and it took a year it took a really long time because a lot you know everybody thinks they're from like Russia but
That's it. It was like the Russian Empire. And that's as much as we knew. But we also suspected my mom's mom's maiden name was Benson. And we thought she changed it because she's Jewish. We thought she just was like trying to fit in to like, you know, new new world America when they moved here. Turns out we're Benson's forever and ever and ever. That's interesting. From Latvia, from a little town called Aizputa Latvia that I visited, which was like.
decimated during the war. They just like killed everybody. And then my entire family was just like, this is, it's so dark, but just literally, literally lined up in a pit with 40,000 other Jews and Riga and just shot one by one by one, everybody. So like the only line left in my family is my great, great grandfather and all of his kids. So it just goes like, and then that's it. That's the only lineage left is there.
And I mean, it was shocking. My mom came with me, which was kind of amazing. And it was the first time in my life that I was like, oh, I have to have a kid.
It made me want to have a kid because I felt some huge imperative, some responsibility being like black and Jewish. Like I'm barely here. You know, there's so many reasons not for me to not be here. And I'm here. And it felt like I had to, you know, continue that lineage. Like I felt like a strong pull from the ancestors. Talk about energy. Your mom, you know, it's interesting because your mom, Peggy Lipton, the iconic actress.
blonde that everyone was in love with in like the late 60s early 70s Lipton just sounds like such a waspy name. Lipschitz. It was Lipschitz. Oh yeah. It was Lipschitz when my great grandfather came to Ellis Island. Lipschitz. Yeah. Lipton is better for TV. I think so.
And tea. Yeah. Anymore of that lip shits tea? Take the lip shits plunge. I did. Oh. Oh.
Pulling up to Mickey D's just for drinks. Oh yeah, that's me. Nothing extra, just perfection and a straw. Coming in hot for the coldest cups on the block. Because there are drinks. Then there are drinks from McDonald's. Mix things up with any size lemonade or sweet tea for $1.49. Perfect with our classic fries. Price and participation may vary. Cannot be combined with any other offer. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba.
You had this interesting experience, like, because you're growing up and obviously your dad, Quincy Jones, this powerhouse in the music industry, legendary person, and then your mom had
had been this you know incredibly iconic figure who then stepped out and said i'm stepping away from this world yeah uh very consciously yeah and were you aware that like i'm just what my mom was doing before you know when you were yeah we knew we knew for sure because you're too young to be i've been watching mod yeah we know we were not around and i mean we knew that she had had this like
big thing but I think she just you know I think she was really young and she was really famous really fast and there was three networks and everybody watched the Mod Squad so everybody knew who she was and my mom was kind of shy so I think it just was not did not suit her she was like no whoa no and then when she fell in love with my dad I think it like
contextualized her life in a way where she was like, oh, this is what I want. It's like a family and a home and, you know, good friends and to keep things small like this. She wasn't that person who was like seeking everybody else's approval and attention all the time, you know? And then I wouldn't know what that's like. No, I know. That's why I'm explaining it to you. So she didn't want that. She didn't have a travel show. No. Mm-mm. She did not go visit fans at their houses. Oh, okay.
I don't buy it. She was playing some kind of long con.
Definitely. This is just a way to draw us in more. That's hilarious. I remember when she came to Twin Peaks. It was like a huge deal. Yeah, because she came back. Peggy Lipton came back. She came back. And she was amazing. Yeah. Looked just, I mean, incredible. Yeah. And she was back. And I don't know where you would have been at that point. You still would have been a kid. I was in high school. I was just thinking the other day, actually, because I was looking at my graduation pictures and she was my age. Yeah.
When I was graduating high school, when she was doing Twin Peaks, which I'm like, because she looked so young and I remember her being so young and I'm like, but I don't, why don't I feel as young as, well, as the way I perceived her to be. She probably didn't. She probably felt tired, just like me.
But yeah, it's mind-blowing to think that that's where she was in her life. And she had two teenage kids and was like, let me go back to this thing. Anyway, everybody makes life choices and then you end up sort of in the same place, I guess. What I remember, because I was in my...
I think I was working on Saturday Night Live when Twin Peaks came out. And I remember turning on the TV and watching with my girlfriend at the time, Twin Peaks. And I cannot explain to any young person today because we're constantly being bombarded with edgy, cool television on all the streaming platforms and everything. But this show came on that was unlike anything
anything you had ever seen before. And when the pilot episode ended, everybody's face fell off. Yeah. It was nuts. And it was just an obsession. And then I remembered I was working at SNL. Kyle McLaughlin came on and they
And they did a sketch about Twin Peaks. I remember. And they needed someone, they needed a guard to be holding Chris Farley in the background. So they always did this for some reason. I look like a guy who should be doing something on television, but no one knew what the fuck what. So Lauren was always, Lauren or Jim Downey was always saying, just put the costume on Conan and just have him. So I'm standing there. I don't think I even have a line. I'm just holding on to Chris Farley in the background of this Twin Peaks sketch. But, um,
It changed everything. Yeah. But, you know, TV was a certain thing. And then this show came and you saw what a TV show could be. Yeah. How weird it could be. It was so weird. It was so original. I was obsessed. It was so scary. I was, this is probably not appropriate for a teenager in high school, but I was so scared of Bob. I would check my bed every night.
my mom is on the show. I know it's fake. And I saw him, I remember going to set and seeing him walk by on set and like, it felt like everything slowed down when he walked by. And then eventually, by the way, in my 20s, when I went to the premiere of the movie Fire Walk With Me, I saw Bob, still don't know his real name, something Silva. I went to go introduce myself because I was like, this is ridiculous. I'm an adult. I need to get over it. And he was so nice. And he said, I was under your bed. He said, I am a murderer. I am a murderer.
By the way, I was under there. You were right to be scared. I didn't do anything, but I was under there. He was a set dresser. He was a set dresser for Twin Peaks. And David Lynch saw him on camera and was like, there we go. There's our guy. There's the guy. But what I was going to say is kids now, maybe they don't understand, but I think they do. Like kids...
Kids now give Twin Peaks its flowers or however they say it. They really love Twin Peaks because there still isn't really anything like it. It's so authentically weirdo in a way that people try to manufacture now, but it's like, it's David Lynch TV, which is not like any other TV. And when he did it, there was just nothing...
Like it. And I remember just being electrified. You'd wait for the next and you had to wait. Yeah. You had to wait. I mean, I know there are still shows where you have to wait, but this was quite uncommon. Yeah. At the time. Yeah. And all of us, it's all any of us thought about. I was living in New York and watching Twin Peaks. Me too. My mom wouldn't tell me anything. She had to like sign like some NDA every time she got a new script and she would not tell me anything.
You know, you have that going on. You also have the last time we were on the podcast, we talked a lot about the documentary you did, which I think was lovely and spectacular about your dad, Quincy. That's the title of the documentary. That's not me having the gall to call your dad Quincy. You can. You can. He would insist. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, how's Quincy? Yeah. Hey, how's Q doing? Yeah.
Tell him C wants to know. It doesn't have the same ring, I don't think. No, it doesn't. It really doesn't. Yours sounds more like a disease. Yeah, tell him the big C says hi. Cancer? Oh, no.
But I think one of the coolest parts in that documentary that just blows my mind is when Frank Sinatra's on some TV show and he calls, you had the footage, he calls your dad out and says, by the way, this is the best arranger, producer, music genius I know. Let's get him out here, Quincy Jones. And I thought...
Just such a stunning moment. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't know. He was a champion. Frank was his champion. They really loved each other a lot. And also, it's in the documentary, but there was so much racism at the time. And Frank...
had a lot of power and he used it to change things because they wouldn't let the band stay at the casinos they were playing at and he was like I'm not playing my band's not staying here I'm not playing yeah you know absolutely incredible yeah that's uh were you interested in music for that reason I know that music's a big part of your life yeah obviously but I also think you got very interested in rhythm
I think you studied religion in college. Yeah, I did. That's fascinating. Would you, was there a certain religion you were drawn to or did you find yourself like bopping around between different religions? I bopped a little bit. I mean, I grew up like culturally Jewish. My mom's Jewish. And then I spent a lot of time. My mom took us to a Hindu meditation ashram. So I spent a lot of time there as a kid and lived in India for a little bit. But then I was like really into Buddhism. I,
I was in a church choir. I was kind of all over the place. I just liked...
the ritual of religion I thought was really cool. I grew up very Catholic, and so there's a lot of rules and obviously guilt and things like that. And then later on, just in my life, when I've just been living in LA and trying to be open to different things and you're exposed to things like Buddhism, I think, oh my God, this is fantastic. Yeah. This is amazing. There's another way. There's another way. To look at it. I don't.
have to necessarily hate myself. Right. But that might just be you. No, but I know then other people say, no, you really should. No, you should.
No, that was such an unconvincing. I don't believe it. I'm not buying it. You were talking about how Twin Peaks got its flowers or was a really nice thing has happened with Parks and Recreation, which was always a great show and something
Something happened where, and I think it's a nice part of this world we live in, where people have access to these shows. It used to be when a show was over, it would slip beneath the waves and that was it. And sometimes the show occasionally would be shown in reruns and become popular. But Parks and Recreation has just bloomed really in such a lovely way because, you know, few people know, and I think a lot of young people today wouldn't know,
that Parks and Recreation was kind of on the bubble a bit at NBC. The whole time. Not even a bit. Every single season, we were like, this is it. They're not going to want us back. At one point, we were canceled, and then the president of NBC got off the plane and changed his mind. He was like, eh, don't cancel it yet, I guess. Oh, fuck.
Yeah.
But no, it was like ratings. Remember when you used to look at ratings every morning, like the overnights? Yeah, yeah. And like the weekly ratings and your Nielsen and your Cher and all the stuff. Like we never succeeded there. Like we were never – there was like, you know, we'd kind of get –
something a little better. We get a bump from like a, I don't know, some other show in front of us or something. But the whole time we were just kind of like holding on for dear life, like hoping we got to do more, which is probably part of why it was so good. Right. Because we, there was no, there was no like stardom. It wasn't infiltrated by any outside, you know, feelings about us. Like people kind of liked us if they knew who we were. And besides that, we just like
had fun together you know and it is it's nice the rewriting but i'm like but i need people to understand because i think it's sort of like it's kind of iconic now it's like one of those like yes great comedies of that time which is so awesome but we didn't feel that way and actually like i think it was five years ago we went to the dolby and we did a 10th year
a 10th anniversary thing where we all came out, the whole cast. And the reception was so... It was... I felt like the Beatles. Like, it was so nuts. People were screaming so loud. We were all crying because we could... We had never been in a room where anybody cared. We were there as a crew, you know what I mean? Like, together, it was so wild. I saw that happen once because I know that you were...
a comedy nerd for things like SCTV and SNL. And when you were growing up, SCTV was a huge influence on me. This show Made in Toronto, Catherine O'Hara and John Candy and Marty Short and Eugene Levy and Joe Flaherty. And the list goes on and on and on. These amazing performers. And they did
Such a smart sketch show that in so many ways was so much more. It had all these levels that SNL could never have. SNL was great, but then there was a show that could get to all these different levels. So they did a reunion and I'm a huge SCTV fanatic. So they asked me to do it. And this is back in the 90s. And they asked me to go to Aspen. And so I'm there with all these people that I had never met before. I go out on stage with them and I start interviewing them and we start showing clips.
And there's this giant crowd there that's just exploding with laughter. And they're all looking at each other and they said, we've never seen people laugh at this. Because they made it. It was a show that didn't have a studio audience. They made it. They constructed it. Right. And then they put it on TV. Right. And there are all these people that revered it, but I don't think they knew that. Right. So they had that same feeling. And it was just, I was, I think, you
I don't tear up easy, but I was very emotional that they were having what they should have had at the beginning. Totally. But sometimes great things take a while to discover, and I have to have faith in that because...
In this weird business, we make things and people don't care or there's too much on TV or nobody's seen it. And then somebody says to you, like in a mall somewhere 15 years later, that thing changed my life. And that's kind of, that's the reason to do it, you know? Yep. I always try and boil it down to-
make stuff that you like and put it out there. And then sometimes you get a ping back. Sometimes you hear nothing. Sometimes you get something back, but it's 15 years later. Yeah. But that's not our job. Right. Right. This is the Buddhist side of me now. Yes. Our job is just to like. Put it out there. Put it out there and then see what happens. And then hopefully somebody loves you for it one day. Yeah. We'll see. But really, it's about the money. Yeah. You know, monetize it. That's good. Good. You end up podcasting. I'm sorry.
Actually, yeah. No, to me, it's about money and more specifically real estate. Oh, God. Because real estate can always be converted into cash. You know you have a guest to talk to, right? Who's here? Rashida Jones. Oh, shit, I love her. She's fantastic. Just turn 15 degrees. Rashida. Oh, Rashida.
So you have property, right? You're putting some of it into property. If I don't, do I have to leave? This show eventually gets to property. It would be great if this podcast morphed into, we start talking about creative stuff and then it always got back to, what land do you have? Are you renting it?
I see your Zillow page. Flipping property. Yeah. Florida, not a good idea. Taxes, low though. No taxes. Very good. What's happening? It is. It was a joke and then it wasn't. You've always had, you said something in some interview that I really connected with, which is you always sought out funny people, comedy writers, people that you could riff with. And I always thought, yeah, I understand that. It's
someone else might say, who was cynical might say, oh, you're networking. It's like, no, I just, it's such a gift to be around
to surround yourself with really funny people. Yeah. And just make that your life. Make that your environment. Well, also because it makes you feel funny. I mean, it's a little selfish too. And by the way, it didn't not help. I mean, it was good to know, you know, my comedy friends in college, you know, this feeling. Like, they understand you in a way that maybe when you go in for an audition, just basically
randomly, they're not going to really understand the depth of what you're able to do. But if you have a friend who's a writer who's on the other side of it,
I.e. Mike Schur, who, you know, I was friends with since freshman year. He can, you know, although he made it really hard to get both parts on The Office and Parks and Rec. I wish I didn't have a friend on the inside. He made it harder. He made it harder. He's like, he's like fair guy. He's so fair. You know, he might have show about being, The Good Place is about fair. Yes. And also, he wrote a whole book on ethics. That's what I'm saying. He's been that guy forever. Yeah. Mike, knock it off. Yeah.
He's so just. Yeah, stop it. Yeah, stop being so ethical. He does kind of wear it on his sleeve a little bit. What's he hiding? Exactly. What's he hiding? Yeah, he's the kind of guy who's like, well, let's make sure everyone gets an equal slice of pie. And my attitude is, I've been on TV the longest. I have the most property. Yeah, I have the most property. Give me the pizza. I should get half the pie. Yeah.
Hey, maybe all the pie and you guys can go fuck yourself. Oh my God. Yeah. I'm sorry, Rashida. I'm glad you weren't my boss. Mike's the best. Mike's the best. He's great. Yes. We're doing a fun little bit. He said he listens to this podcast. Oh, he does? Yeah. Yeah. Make sure you're a monster. I love you. I love you so much. Oh, look. Sure. The mics say sure. Oh, wow. He's here with us. Yeah. Sorry, promo for the mics. Oh. Sure.
It's not spelled like that, but they say sure. But anyway, the point is he, for the most part, did not give me parts. I wish he did. But I think he saw the thing in me that he knows has existed since I was 18 years old. So it's not just about what I'm doing on that day as an audition. He can kind of understand the fullness of me in a way that I think is nice and it does help. It did help me. But yes, I like to be surrounded by funny people. I often play the straight guy. That's okay.
I don't mind. Well, you know, I like it. The straight person in the history of show business, say the straight man, because that's what he was called for a long time in vaudeville and in the movies, the straight man was actually considered much more important because they held the straight person. So their names always came first. It was Abbott and Costello. It was Martin and Lewis.
It was, you know, it's just the straight person really was the person who was in charge of the whole act and made it all work because of their reactions. And then the other, the wacky person was often less valued. Right. Interesting. Things have changed. To me, it's huge, though, how much.
being a good straight person is absolutely crucial. You have to have an anchor. If not, it's just a bunch of people jumping off the walls. Yeah. Like I think Parks had some combination of like goofy and straight the whole time. Well, everyone could switch off. Everybody got to be all of it. It was the nice thing about it. Eventually, after six years too, like maybe year one, I was like straight, straight, straight. But by year four, I was like,
pretty goofy. I want to talk about this project that you're working on because it's a very cool idea. And this is something where you're wearing, you're in, you're in the show. You're also producing the show. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Um, Sonny, it's a, it's a fascinating idea.
Do you want to lay out the idea? Because you haven't seen it. I have not. I have not. Oh, I didn't get to see it. No, no one sent it to me. No, no, no one sent me. Sona and I watched the whole thing. Yeah. Did you? No. I'll send it to you guys. Yeah. No, they always, if there's a tape that I'm allowed to watch and I say tape to show how old I am. I don't,
think they respect podcasters. That's the feeling. No, I got nothing. I got nothing. Wow. But I want to see it because it sounds fantastic. Yeah. It's very odd, very original, and it's kind of a mystery thriller set in the near future in Japan. And it's about a woman, me, who has...
grieving the loss or potential loss of her husband and son were on a plane crash and she doesn't know what happened.
And in the aftermath of the plane crash, she sent what is considered a homebot, which is a little robot, a cute little robot that she finds out was designed by her husband. I think I can say that. Yeah, it's in the trailer. His electronics robotic company. Yes. Produced this little thing for me to keep me company and help me grieve. And here's what's interesting to me about it, because your character lives in Kyoto.
And what fascinated me about it is that I actually did a piece on this when I was in Japan. You can rent a family because there's an issue in Japanese culture with people being lonely. What they decided to do is say, you can rent a family. So I did a travel segment where I went to Japan and went to the agency and I rented, I said, I'm
in Japan for literally like seven days, six days, but I want a wife, I want a teenage daughter, and I want a father. And the person, they were all like, yes. And so they got me these people who did not really speak English. And so I started confronting my, quote, father about issues that I have with my real father. And guess what? It helped. I had all this closure. Because he couldn't talk back.
- Exactly, that's why he was- - Exactly, yeah. - He couldn't understand you. - He was white haired and really handsome. The woman who signed on to be my wife,
And it's not her real daughter. It's also an actress or someone who's been trained to be the teenage daughter. The teenage daughter, I'm doing my shtick and my jokes. At one point, I say something to the daughter and the daughter turns to the mother and in Japanese says, I don't understand what he's saying. And the mother says in Japanese, not understanding that we can translate all this and put it under the screen, he's making jokes, just laugh. Ha ha!
And she says, but I don't get them. And the wife says, it doesn't matter. And it's... That feels like somewhat emblematic of... That's like a moment in your career, right? Does that happen any other time? That's a moment in my family life. It doesn't matter, just laugh. They're not even funny. My wife is just like, look, he's a good earner. Just... A good earner. But there is...
I always think a good idea has an element of truth in it. And when I heard about this idea, and I guess it's based on an Irish writer wrote this. It's Colin O'Sullivan. It's a dark idea, but it's also a funny idea that you would have.
a consolation robot. Yeah. If you've experienced a loss, that's one thing, but I'm thinking it would have all these applications and it will exist. Yeah. We have all these implications for people like us in show business to just be like, good one, Conan. Totally. You know, you're so funny. No shit. And the robot does think I'm hilarious. And I, and I, and my character hates it, you know, which is kind of funny too. Cause I bet you would, you would hate it if you actually, no, no,
I'd be like, this fucking robot gets it. Finally. Finally. Somebody smart. I'm a robot. I was hired just to do this for him. You guys aren't even real, right? And yet you don't. No. I learned quickly. All these two do is shit on me. Yeah. And your robots that were, I don't know, the programming got backwards or something. You broke our programming. Yeah.
We can't even do what we're supposed to do. Yeah. Well, I screwed up somewhere. I actually think perversely I like the other. I like... That's what I'm saying. Yeah, that's right. You want to be ragged on. Yeah. Yeah, I know. I think that's like human nature. But yeah, this, I mean, this is expressly weird because once the robot shows up, my life gets really dangerous and like people want things for me and I don't know what and I'm not even sure I can trust her. So like...
Like, that's the other thing is like, you know, we're talking about AI and the imperfections of AI. Like, you can train something to become sentient, to grow and learn really fast. But then what? Like, what does she... Does she have her own thing that she wants to do that, I don't know, might put me in danger? Are you, when it comes to something like AI, I'm curious to get your take, are you optimistic or very pessimistic? I'm a little bit like, I guess...
I would say agnostic about this because it is what it is. Like it's here. It's an inevitability. Yes. We're here. It's not like it's coming. It's already here. Right. And I, like to me, it's, it's hilarious, ironic that I think,
AI was created at the pace and the sort of compulsion that it was because the people who make it are so obsessed with what it means to be human that they're trying to replicate it somewhere else. So that to me is like, oh, it's like we're kind of missing the point, which is like instead of like really drilling down on that with each other, we're just like,
you know, you know, training and creating, you know, data sets and stuff somewhere else. Yes. So that we can, I don't know, like know more about ourselves. It doesn't really make that much sense to me, but it's here. I think there's obviously going to be tons of applications that are positive. Yeah. And ton that are,
Tons that are negative. I mean, look at the internet. I'm sort of like a Luddite in that way. Like, I think there's so much destruction that's come from social media. Yes. Mainly the monetization of behavior and like the meddling with the way people interact with each other, I think is so dangerous because we're so susceptible. Yeah. Like, we are built to be susceptible. Yes. You know, we want to connect with each other so badly that we'll kind of believe anything to do it. So, I think AI could...
potentially do that to us too. But I will say like working with this little robot or like even when I did the Muppet movie, like it was so quickly that I was like having full conversations with Fozzie and not the puppet performer. Like it's very, very quickly you start to believe these things have a soul, you know, like a voice and an expression and a couple little like...
you know, head tilts and like a touch of your wrist and all of a sudden you're like, oh, you're so sweet and I care for you. But that's an artist making that happen. Totally. See, and that's what I think. Totally. There's still a person making that. We'll see though. Yeah, we're going to find out. I don't know. What I keep going back to is that it's the job of humanity, artistic people to create
Whatever comes along, what I completely agree with is it's here. There's no putting it back into a Pandora's box and shutting it, nailing it shut. No. That's not going to happen. It's here. So then it's a challenge to artists everywhere to push beyond. Right. That might sound like naive, but I always think when, you know, this analogy I think has been made by other people, but when photography came along. Right. And I mean, it was a big challenge.
thing for anyone who painted to make portraits. That was a huge piece of the revenue. And suddenly they're like, we're good. And so then we get
all this impressionism, expressionism, cubism. It's just always the job of humans if the technology challenges us for us to rise above. That's where I am. Rise above and to integrate. I mean, sound in movies changed everything. Like every single time we have some advancement in technology, we do have to change as artists. And like, I think young people younger than us don't understand the tension where we feel like our pure thing that we do is somehow at odds with the technology.
Yes. Yeah. Yeah.
I don't know. When you talk about being a Luddite, being someone who's not that comfortable with technology, I'm definitely that way. I'm a pen and paper guy. When I go on the computer, it's either Sona standing behind me and... Grandpa, hit the return button. I don't understand. Power on. Power on. So I have an uneasy relationship with it. But I think the thing that I dislike the most about the Luddites
the last 25 years is that, A, I've aged terribly, and B... No. No, no, no. Trust me. No, you're cute. You're forever crush. You are. Please. No, you'll see. No, you'll see. I'll see. You'll see. What? I know. What does that mean? What does that mean? It means that when I take my headset off, this is going to fall apart. You're just going to Dorian Gray in 20 seconds? Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, what is it on Game of Thrones? Oh, Melisandre. Melisandre. Melisandre. Where once you leave, I retreat to another room. And you're like. And I, and suddenly I just, and I have low hanging, what we call dugs. That's a low hanging. What?
A low-hanging... That's what shaped Melisandre on Game of Thrones when she was beautiful and then she takes off. Who's queen? Who's calling them Dougs? Don't look at me. Don't look at me. I'm not in this with you. The poets back, the classic poets. They called them Dougs? Dougs. D-U-G-S. Look it up. Look it up. Just talk about people's Dougs. Tribble Dougs is like, I'm going to say either T.S. Eliot or...
It's one of the great poets. Yes, it's a term for an old woman's... Man with wrinkled thug. Yes. Wow. A man or a woman with breasts and wrists sagging down. I'm only calling them thugs from now on. But it's not a Google search. But it's not a compliment. No, I know. But I'm going to turn it into a compliment. Okay, well, I just want all of our listeners to know that's the word of the day, thugs. Thugs. If someone's breasts are really hanging down, man or woman go like, you got some shriveled thugs there. Yes.
Can you say, hey, nice, Doug's? It doesn't work that way. That's what I'm doing. No, that's what I'm doing. We're changing it. And if someone says, where'd that come from? Go, hey, man, Ezra Pound, T.S. Eliot, get with it. Yeah. And then you're cool. And then you're cool. Mm-hmm.
Anyway, here's the part that I was saying that I don't like about the last 20 years before we got off onto shriveled dogs. Stop saying shriveled dogs. Shriveled dogs. Anyway, what I'm going to say is that I think we have found a way to game humans and they realize that humans naturally are attracted to and compelled by humans.
I think we kind of always knew that, which is why we like movies where things blow up and there's a bad guy and a good guy, but they've gone hyper with it so that everything, including the news, has to be people shouting at each other. All reality shows have to be people shouting at each other. There has to be, you know, if we were doing this right, I'd constantly be angry at Matt. Matt would constantly be angry at me. Well, I know, but, you know, you wouldn't... You are, but you have to, you know, tamp it down. But I guess my point is, that's the part where I think...
I've seen it infect comedy where a lot of comedians, they just want to say things that piss people off or they want to rail against this or rail against that. And I think that can be fine until we're losing our sense of like, is this funny? Is this something that makes me laugh? Or also, we're losing sight of what real conflict is. Yeah. Because everything is conflicted now. Right. And like our fight or flight is like...
it's so often being incited that it's like, you know, your whatever cortisol you're like dumping that you're supposed to use to like run away from a lion or a tiger and go hide in a cave for two months. Like all day long, every day people are like, cortisol, cortisol, I'm dying. I'm going to,
die. I'm going to die. I'm in trouble. The world's going to end all day long, every day. So you become so desensitized when you're actually supposed to care about something and something's a real conflict. It's very strange. And also that it's all intentional that the people who are building these platforms know that and they're buying into it and they want to modify our behavior. They want us to keep coming back and engaging. And the way to do that is to keep us in conflict.
And like, I mean, everybody's mad at each other right now. They should be mad at the people who built these platforms. Yeah. This is not, this is not, to me, this is not what like free speech and technology can do at its best. Like, I know everybody's like, but we're connected. Like, are we? No. I was like, we're not connected. Well, I was at some Silicon Valley event, I want to say maybe eight years ago and afterwards. Yeah.
I'm talking to a lot of these Silicon Valley bigwigs, you know, billionaires who are in their 20s and early 30s. And one of them said to me, like, well, you know, we're just making the world a better place. And I said, no, you're making the world a different place. Exactly. But I don't know. And then we got into it because they didn't like that. Good. I'm glad you did. But then they gave me a billion dollars. And you shut up. And you just shut up on the spot. I said, you're making the world a better place. Yeah.
Can we have some? No, no, I bought land with it. Oh, man. Yeah. The land. I have all of Connecticut. Really?
And then underwater, I own everything underwater often. You know you don't get paid for this, right? What's that? We don't get paid for this? Oh, I know. It's a volunteer thing. That's a bad deal for you, man. You've got to look out for yourself. Where are they going to go? It's true. I've got nothing else going on. It's an Apple TV Plus series called Sunny, and I have not seen it yet. I can't wait to see it because it's a very cool idea. But also, I'm just...
I said it before. I'll say it again. I adore you. You are so funny. You're so smart. You're Jesus Christ. I'm Jesus Christ. Congratulations. What? No, no. I'm accepting that title. No, you didn't let me finish. Jesus Christ, comma, you're Rashida Jones. And that's a pretty cool thing to be. Okay. I think I'm more of the Jesus figure here. Oh, man.
Ruining things. Kind of rose from the dead when you think about it. Well, I had a bad cold last week. Now I'm fine. Anyway, please, I loved having you here and please come back anytime. I would love to. And you're also in the neighborhood, so come by sometime and have...
lunch with us and you'll pay, I guess. Is this a real offer? Yeah. We will take you out to lunch. Yeah, we'll go to Great White right down the street. I love Great White. Yeah. Awesome. And I'm all hooked up there. Meaning if I go there and I wait long enough, they let me in. They don't throw you out. That's my definition of hooked up. If I get there early, put my name down and wait for a really long time. Half the time I get in. I'm hooked up.
Anyway, thank you so much for being here. Thank you. It was so fun. Thank you. Thanks, you guys. Be warned that once you pick up a refreshingly cold drink from McDonald's and
and people see just how refreshingly cold that drink from McDonald's is, you may create drink envy. Because there are drinks. Then there are drinks from McDonald's. For a morning brew that really creates a stir, get any size iced coffee, including caramel and French vanilla, for just 99 cents before 11 a.m. Price and participation may vary. Cannot be combined with any other offer or combo meal. Ba-da-da-ba-ba. ♪♪
Thank you.
Rubarb, rubarb. Rubarb, walla walla. Rubarb, walla walla, testing, testing. I'm sorry, I'm trying to have a human moment. Yeah, don't. You're not good at those. The room's in an uproar right now. Eduardo, will you explain what you were saying? Yeah, so I recently went to Vegas and, you know, I was at the craps table. Do you have a problem or anything? No, no. Would you like one? No, but this is one of your regular activities is you go to Vegas and you play craps. I wish I did it a little more regular, but yes, I do like to roll with that. And...
So anyway, so I'm sitting there and, you know, you get to, if you're there long enough, you get to talk to the, you know, dealers. If you have a big enough problem, you get to talk to the dealers. Are they dealers or are they croupiers? They're dealers. The person sitting at the center is called a stick man. Oh. Insert stick.
Joke. No, I'm not going to do a joke about that. A dick joke. No, I would never do that. No, no. Although in high school they called me the stick man. Okay. There you go. No, because I had a stick shift car. So anyways. My penis was nothing like a stick. It's all smushed. It's more like a leaf.
Come on. You know, it's like a crushed peanut shell. Anyway, let's get on with it. Anyway, so chit-chatting with one of the dealers. You know what? They love it when people come and just chit-chat with them. They must love you. Yeah. Yeah, he was a cool dude. Okay. Anyways, so he ended up asking me what I do for a living. And I said, I work in podcasting. And then he goes, oh, do you work on any funny ones?
And I said, yeah, I work on Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. He goes, Conan, I love Sona. Conan, I love Sona. You know what? I'm...
I'm happy for you, Sona. No, you're not. I am. No, I really am. I could see it in your face. You're thinking of something right now. No, I'm not. Something's bubbling. No, I'm happy for you. I'm happy that you finally got a win. You finally got a W. Finally got a win. But no, so anyway, that's nice. I like it. That's nice that people are out there listening. Yeah, I thought it was cool, which led me to my next point. Speaking of the W. Exactly. So...
at the win, Sirius XM has just acquired a studio there. And I thought it would be a good exercise for us, you know, to take a little field trip and maybe check out the studio. Oh, record an episode or two of Conan O'Brien. There's plenty of acts on the strip. I'm sure you can, you know, talk to any one. I would love, we could get Jeff Dunham. Can we please go and take you guys to a club and,
And then record it. Please. At a table. What do you mean? I want a table. What kind of club? What do you mean, what kind of club? What kind of club? Just say it. A strip club. Not a strip club. No. One where they get dressed. Yes. They don't. What? Huh? You think the opposite of a strip club is where people put clothes on? They put more clothes on. No, but you know, it's a club. It starts. They play sexy music and people come in moderately dressed. Like, like.
they're dressed for like late summer. And then as the music plays, they put on more and more clothing until they're wearing several parkas. Yeah. It's decidedly unsexy music. No, the music they play is take some sugar off me. Oh my God. Take some sugar off me. You know what? On second thought, I just heard that all the clubs are closed. You don't want to party with these two guys? But listen, so anyway, Sona and,
Eduardo, I want to give you guys, I want to give them a little rope to let this play out. So what you're saying is, if I get this right, we go to the Wynn, they have a SiriusXM studio there, and maybe we do an episode or two of Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend.
From the win. Right now, the idea I'm guessing what interests you about this is you get to hang and chat up your favorite. I'm looking for a free stay. But I remember this very clearly from the early years of my dealings with Sona. She would come back from a weekend and she'd she looked bedraggled.
Big Vegas. And I would say, what's up? And you said, me and my crew, you and your gang, and you said, we did a Vegas U-turn. Right. And explain what a U-turn is. I think we've talked about this before. Yeah, we have. What a U-turn is, in the beginning of the evening, you and your friends
or not in the evening, but you drive to Vegas. You don't have a hotel or anything. Right. You party all night. Yep. And then in the morning, you know, you get like some Denny's or whatever and then you just drive back. I think what I remember is the detail is that you changed clothing in a car. In a parking lot. In a parking lot. In a parking structure. Parking structure. Oh, an aristocrat. Oh, I see. We went to
one of those clubs you were talking about where we go and we change into our clothes. But what I'm saying is this would not be a U-turn. I know that we've discussed that before. You can't handle a U-turn.
I can handle a U-turn. You cannot handle a U-turn. Oh, I did. Listen, you forget that I come from humble means. I drove out in a shitty car with Greg and Rob Lezebnik and Rodman and we went to Vegas. This is back in the mid 80s. I did not know this. We stayed in the old Vegas where literally the buildings were built in like the 40s. Yeah. Yeah.
uh it was yeah this was back in the day anywho um i remembered saying someone needs to tear all this down but uh and i said that to the owners uh and so okay i i don't know i don't know what i think about this i don't know does it does do we get good people to come on the podcast of course in vegas yeah yeah i think i mean adele is there right bruno mars has bruno mars is there i mean that's
That's fun. What about them Thunder from Down Under guys? I've seen that. There's the sphere. Yeah. That new venue, the sphere. Oh, you know what would be so funny? Us doing this in the sphere. And so it's just all these insane projections all around us in three dimensions and holograms. And we're just sitting here going, yeah, I don't know. That guy's a big dick. Yeah.
I'd love to do a clueless gamer in the sphere and see you just eat shit on like, just you can't turn left. Right, I can't turn left. I'm sitting there with some nerd and no, I don't know. I have to say Vegas is not, you could say Vegas is my kryptonite, meaning there's not, I don't gamble. It's not like I just want to hit a bar. I,
I, it's not a lot of stuff that I like to do. Now, to be fair, I've never seen a show in Vegas. Let me also say the culinary experience is different now. It's true. If you love to eat, there's great restaurants. Oh, I've heard that. It's a big foodie town now. Aren't their cocktails all a little like just day glow? No, some of the best cocktails now. You would appreciate this. You don't have to get mad at me. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I'm suspicious.
I've never seen Eduardo this animated about anything. And that includes the time we talked about soccer or as he calls it, football. And I've given him a signed Messi jersey and he was excited, but he's more excited about, yeah, we can go to the win. Vegas has it all. And I'm thinking, he's getting paid. Do you get the feeling he's in great debt and he has to actually get you there to save his ass? I think that his nice chat
with the craps guy was more or less the guy saying like, you know, hey, Tony, get over here. Yeah, let me see your fingers. We got to break this guy's legs. And he went, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, I know Conan. I know Conan. Do you know Sona? Yeah, I know Sona.
All right, all right. So we know Sona. What are you going to do? What are you going to do? I'm going to get him back here, and we're going to do a show, and we're going to spend a lot of money, and you're going to get Conan, and it's going to be great. All right, you've got 24 hours. And Conan will open for Sona, right? Yeah.
Conan opens. Keep it short. He seems kind of needy. But then Sona comes in. And hey, would Sona do well? Would she play one of the big rooms? Oh, you bet she would. Hey, hope her brother out. All right. All right. Oh, my God. This is the second, by the way, Vegas employee that is a big fan of yours. This is your place. Yeah. Like, you know, the waiter that I had when I went. And now this guy. You've got two people in Vegas. Yes. Two people in Vegas.
Listen, Eduardo, I don't want you to get killed. I don't want you. I think they would kill you. I do think they'd smash your fingers in your legs. And so we'll help you out. We'll get to Vegas. Great. I do think it's fun. OK. Well, I know you're going to have a good time and also maybe a little break from the kids, if you know what I mean. What do you mean? I mean, you've made it very clear that you love your children, but they're destroying you. Oh, yeah. And maybe I'm at the same.
That's called parenthood. So 24, 36 hours in Vegas. Yes, I'm in. Massages. When? Can we do a U-turn tonight? Eduardo, I think, is the one who's in Dutch. Yeah, it kind of needs to happen. All right, it's a done deal. We'll go to Vegas. I'll figure it out. Daddy will figure it out. Yay! Yay!
Take it away, Jimmy.
Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode.
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