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Hey, Sona, listen up. This is not a drill. Dennis Leary stars in the new Fox comedy, Going Dutch. All right. Did you know that Dennis Leary plays a legendary colonel unexpectedly put in charge of a non-combat U.S. Army base in the Netherlands? I had no idea, but I know it now. Doesn't that sound amazing? You're probably wondering what the base is known for. Well, I'll tell you. The base is known for cheese, laundry, and bowling, and the soldiers are a little different than what you'd expect. I bet they're goofy.

To top it off, the colonel's estranged daughter just happens to be the base captain, which obviously complicates things. Ugh. Bad favorite Danny Pudi from Community. I love that guy. It's the second in command and closest confidant. Thursdays, following new episodes of Animal Control on Fox. ♪

Sona, wouldn't you say that life is full of personal wins? I would, Conan. Thanks, Sona. Whether it's cleaning your house, getting that dream car, checking off your to-do list, winning at life is a great feeling. I'm pretty good at winning at life, aren't I, Sona? Are you? Okay, keep moving. State Farm helps you win by helping you create an affordable price just for you. Doesn't that sound like a win, Sona? I like an affordable price just for me. Yes, you do. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can bundle and save with the personal price plan.

Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on ratings plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amounts of discounts and savings, and eligibility vary by state. That's my low voice. Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com slash callconan. Okay, let's get started.

Eugenia Fernandez de los Ronderos Jimenez. That's me. That's too long. Too long. I always have trouble in the customs when I try to get to see my family in the U.S., but yeah. Okay, so tell me how to pronounce your name. I want to make sure I say it correctly. Eugenia. Eugenia. I am Conando. Eugenia.

Tell us, Eugenia, tell me a little bit about yourself. Where are you right now in the world? So right now I'm in Madrid, Spain, from my house. And I work here as a physician resident in a hospital. Oh, OK. Very good. You work in a hospital.

And you take care of people. That's very good. I like that. And you mentioned that you have American relatives. Is that true? Yeah. My fiance, he's American. He's

Irish-American, Sean Dempsey. I like how your accent dropped on that. Wait, your fiancé is Irish-American and his name is Sean Dempsey. Here in Spain, people call him Chong Chang. Seeing if they see it written, these people cannot really pronounce his name.

So, yeah, well, I'm sure anything's OK with Sean. Yeah, he was my Juan sometimes when he gets tired. Yeah, guess what? The Irish, we just don't care as long as we're welcomed in and someone has something to drink and something to eat. We're fine. You know, call me whatever you want. So tell me a little bit. How did you meet this guy?

We met in 2016. He went to study abroad. He came actually to my hometown, Seville, in southern Spain. A lot of Americans go to study there abroad, actually. And we fell kind of in love, but it didn't make any sense. I was 19 and I was studying medicine. After a year, we met again.

And that's how we decided, like, if in one year we couldn't meet anyone that fit that. Well, I don't think it's that. Okay, Eugenia, I don't think it's that you couldn't meet anyone. I just think he was the special one. He was the one. He was the one. I don't think you should go around telling him. I waited and when it just no one came along. You'll do. You'll do. He's fine. He's got used to Spanish way of.

being in a relationship with Spanish women so he's fine okay well what are the differences say between um a Spanish woman and an Irish Catholic guy what's the thing that what's the biggest difference between you how have you had to change him that's tough because I think we actually have a lot of things things in common like southern Spanish people and Irish people but uh probably like

The drinking culture sounds weird, but like we can start drinking at 12 in the noon, like 12 p.m. And then drink at 4 a.m. after being the whole day with our friends eating and everything. But he and you guys like struggle with that type of culture when you get smashed in 30 minutes. Hold on a second.

You guys? Well, wait a minute. Hold on a second. Let's clean up a few things here, Eugenia, if that's even your real name. You're saying that you guys can start drinking at noon and you can go to 4 a.m. and it's no problem, right?

that you can tolerate it, you're fine, you pace yourselves. And are you saying that what does he and his family do that's different? Just, I mean, it's less, yeah, start earlier, way earlier, like breakfast early and finish before lunch. And maybe, okay, yeah.

Sean may have a problem. Yeah, this might not be an Irish thing. Yeah, I don't think it's that. I mean, so he's starting at breakfast.

And then at noon, he sort of passes out. He's been four years in Spain. He's got a rehab since. What? Oh, shit. He's been four years in Spain. He's already living here with me. So he came along with the culture here and now he's totally fine. Oh, okay. We thought you meant he went to rehab and suddenly we weren't laughing. And it wasn't a joke. But now that we've learned he hasn't gone to rehab, we think it's really funny again. Language barrier. Yeah.

And now it's fantastic.

Now it's fun when you can laugh about it. What about, okay, drinking aside, what are other things that maybe were different about the two of you? Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I think the biggest main thing at the beginning of our relationship was PDA. We don't have that in Spain or Europe. What do you mean? You don't have- Public display of affection. You don't show affection publicly or you do?

We do and we don't care about what other people think. So it was very violent for him at the beginning. He was raised part of his life in the Midwest. Oh, boy. Oh, yeah. But then he taught me about that and I learned to respect it because it's a cultural difference. At the beginning, I thought he didn't like me because he was like kind of running. No, let me explain something to you, Eugenia. I think it is a very Irish thing, which is we are kind of uptight.

we don't show a lot of public displays of affection. Whereas, of course, I know it's a, but when I think about Spain, I think of people being very open with their emotions. You don't even know what to do with your hands right now. Oh, you want me to simulate? No, I don't want you to simulate. Then shut up! I think that you're trying to find

You can't even do private displays of affection. He's speaking in Spanish. He's got a flamenco. Eugenia, let me explain something to you. I've been married for 21 years and my wife has never seen me naked. Never. When I take a shower, I'm wearing a business suit. This is her choice though, right? Well, she saw me once and she said, I demand that you wear a five-piece suit. I didn't even know what a five-piece suit was.

But Eugenia, there is a difference, which is we're more repressed. And I think but I've learned I've learned I'm heavily medicated. I also drink a lot. And I live now in Southern California and I've changed a little bit. And I think I could talk to Sean.

And I could help him with his fear of public displays of affection because you're a very beautiful woman. I think he should be able to embrace you openly. What is this?

You are so awkward. Oh, my God. It's like you're holding a tuba. That is so awkward. Well, listen, I'm assuming she's wearing a parka. It's cold. Sometimes it gets cold. Is it a hug? Are you hugging? What are you doing with your hands? I'm sorry. I don't know how to act this out. Eugenia. Oh, my God. I'm going to talk to you. No, no, no. You're a very beautiful woman. I was just...

I don't want to put even on your imaginary self. I don't want to get too close because of I think that's, you know, the whole me too thing. So I'm being very showing even an imaginary way. I'm showing a lot of respect and distance. I'm giving you your space. But anyway, Marty told counseling what we get for Sean, I think maybe you could show him a little bit the ways.

What? He would show you? You want me to show Sean, give him some premarital counseling on how to be more affectionate in public? No. Maybe it could be a two-way kind of relation where maybe your wife will be also happy that he tells you some tips about it since you're also struggling. No, no, no. Listen, we're not getting my wife involved in this, okay? You know? And it's not a two-way if my wife's involved. Listen, Eugenia...

I feel for Sean because I know what he's going through. We are an uptight people. And so what you're saying is, and I'd like you to actually say this, you think, do you think that I could come and help Sean with

with his public display of affection issues? I think you'd be very helpful with Sean and his public display of affection issues. I do. You think I could maybe help him and coax him to be a little more of a Latin lover, so to speak. Yeah, like a coach. Like a kind of a coaching experience. Eduardo's lover.

really hard right now. That's okay. I'm getting what I need to get. Can you just be someone that can speak the dead language of Latin? No, I know exactly what I'm doing and I won't be pulled off track by you idiots.

Some trips are better in an Airbnb. It's just true. Like the trip you want to take with extended family where you want to stay close, but not all be sharing one bathroom. That's key for me. Okay, that's why Airbnb is the choice I often want to make. Or, for example, the couple's getaway where you'd rather have your own pool than share one with a bunch of strangers. Ugh. Oh, when I'm in a pool with strangers, I start shrieking. Oh.

Okay, that's weird. Or that last minute local getaway when you just really need to get out of the city for the weekend but don't want to deal with the airport. You know, I have to say, I've used Airbnb a couple of times and it always makes me feel like I'm at home even when I'm away. Do you have that? I do too. I mean, I have, you know, I have two small kids who are loud and so when I'm in a hotel, I feel a little uncomfortable. Well, you're loud too. Oh, yes. Okay.

Okay, yeah, we're all allowed. And then in an Airbnb, I just feel much more comfortable traveling. You're not a self-conscious. No. Yeah, and also you're staying in someone's home. It's got that vibe of comfort, relaxation, normalcy instead of some stuffy hotel. Yeah. I don't want a mint on my pillow. Oh.

Hey, Blay, you use Airbnb, don't you? I do. I love it. And I will say, staying in someone's place really does add a lot. I'm a huge Stephen King fan, and the last Airbnb I stayed in had this book, From a Buick 8, which is one of the few Stephen King books I haven't read. So I actually started reading it in the Airbnb. It was pretty awesome. And you know what I do sometimes when I'm at an Airbnb? I often travel with a picture of myself in a frame. Oh, boy. And I take it out, and I put it up, and it feels like home. Yeah.

I travel with my own framed headshot. Do you leave it there as a gift? No. That's mine. Those things are precious. So if you're booking a trip soon, my number one tip is to check out Airbnb first to find the perfect place to stay because your accommodation really does make all the difference. We had a birthday party here at the office the other day and they brought out this cake. Yeah.

And there was this really cool like flour made of frosting right in the middle of the cake. Someone scooped it out just to eat that flour. I hate that. Yeah. That person to me is a villain. A true villain. You should fire them. A monster. If I could, there's no camera I can, I've looked, I've looked for the tape. Gross. Whoever did it must pay. And I want to say to that person, if I found them and I saw them eating that flour that they cut out of the middle of the cake, I'd say, how do you sleep at night? Yeah. How do you sleep at night? And you know what? I think I know what they'd say. They'd say mattress firm. Yeah.

That's the problem. They'd turn it into an ad. It's interesting that you would know what they would say, but you have no idea what they'd say. They'd have frosting all over their mouth. And it's a mattress firm. Rest easy with mattress firms. 120 night sleep trial. Love it or your money back. Hey, I love to hear that. I love being able to give stuff back if I don't like it. And you often do. Every present I've given you over the last couple of years has ended up in the give bag bin. Your mattress is important for a good night's sleep and mattress firm has quality mattresses at every price.

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Visit FedEx.com slash OneRate for details. Exclusions apply. Valid 10-6-24 through 1-19-25. FedEx OneRate. Two-day retail shipping. One flat rate. Hey, Sona, listen up. This is not a drill. Dennis Leary stars in the new Fox comedy, Going Dutch. All right. Did you know that Dennis Leary plays a legendary colonel unexpectedly put in charge of a non-combat U.S. Army base in the Netherlands? I had no idea, but I know it now. Doesn't that sound amazing?

You're probably wondering what the base is known for. Well, I'll tell you. The base is known for cheese, laundry, and bowling, and the soldiers are a little different than what you'd expect. I bet they're goofy. To top it off, the colonel's estranged daughter just happens to be the base captain, which obviously complicates things. Ugh. Favorite Danny Pudi from Community. I love that guy. It's the second in command and closest confidant. Thursdays, following new episodes of Animal Control on Fox.

Thank you.

So when is this wedding taking place? It's March 15th, next year in Seville. Okay. Spain. I'd very much like to be at that wedding. Oh boy. You will be very welcome. I think, I don't know what your wedding planner skills are, but I really need help with my Irish American guests over 30 to navigate the Spanish drinking culture and also Sean's fear of displaying affection in our own wedding. Okay. This is what I'm going to say.

I would happily help plan your wedding. OK, I would do that. I would plan your wedding. And my first my only recommendation is that the Irish Americans are restrained in their seats and that no alcohol is anywhere near them. And all the Spanish people can drink as much as they want, but not a drop.

For these Irish bastards. Not a drop. Do you think that's an easy job? I think I can handle it. Let's just say I've been down this road before. So, yeah, I will help you navigate this because I know what you're going through. And I feel like I have...

Clearly, I understand where Sean is coming from. You know, he's shy. He doesn't know about making out in public. What?

What's wrong with that? Did you make up that he's shy? He might not be a shy person. Wait, he's not shy? He could surprise you. You think he's going to make a pass at me? He might be funnier and pump some jokes. I thought you were shy. Oh, okay. I just meant physically. That's all. Physically shy. I thought you meant he's a shy person.

No, no, no. I just meant physically shy about in public displays of affection. If you're not having a great time with her, it's you guys. I can't seem to get in sync with. You should try reading the research. What's that? Oh, I don't know. It's interesting. For example, like in flamenco dancing, it's very expressive type of dancing. Yep.

And when he dances flamenco, he actually does a good job. He expresses himself well. But in other fields, he doesn't succeed. He doesn't succeed as much. Like what? Like what other fields? Like showing real affection. Like what you said, like...

Physical affection. Yeah. In public. In public. Yes, I'm sure. Listen, all Irish men, we're a little stilted and stuff in public, but in private, we are very passionate. Come on. I am. I'm sorry. I'm going to speak up. I've never heard that. What's that? Never heard that before. You've never heard that before? She's engaged to an Irishman.

Eugenia, I'm not sure I can make this wedding. I want to help you, but you've got to work with me here and at least pretend that I'm a very, just pretend that I'm a very sensual man. I've seen you in other stuff and I think you can pull your sensual self.

When you want to, I'm sure. Yes, yes. No, it's very true. I can be very sensual when the time comes. When it's time, then I can be quite sensual. When the time comes. When the appropriate moment has arrived. 7.30 p.m., time to be sensual. And see Alice. Saturday night for 10 minutes. See Alice will make sure you're ready when the time comes.

All right. Well, you know...

I'm going to do my best by you. I really would like to try and help you. I'm obviously much older than Sean. I'm a very old man. I'm sure you can see. You don't look that old, I have to be honest. Oh, really? You keep yourself in good shape. Oh, thank you. I try. Yeah, I can tell. I haven't had any work done on my face yet. You, yeah, suspiciously, you look suspiciously healthy. Okay.

Conan O'Brien, suspiciously healthy. Wait a minute. I look suspiciously healthy. What do you do to look that John? Do you think that I'm doing something to my face or to my body? I think it's either Botox or that you're using a lot of sunscreen because of your skin condition.

tone and everything, which could be both, but... Well, first of all, I will tell you, I've never, ever done Botox ever in my life because I'm a comedian and I always worried, like, that stuff freezes up your face and this thing's my money maker! But...

I don't use a lot of sunscreen. I just have never gone outside in my life. Okay. That explains a lot. Sexy, huh? Does Sean go outside much? He does and he gets burned. That's why he uses a lot of sunscreen. Yeah. Yeah. It's always good when a man applies many creams. Yeah. It's not sexy at all to wear sunscreen all the time. Well, it's not sexy to say, I'll be right with you, Eugenia.

for our walk where I never touch you outside. But first, I must apply my creams. That's not good. Yeah. Yeah. I wish holding hands is actually eye contacting. Like that's,

Probably the first base. Wait, he doesn't make eye contact with you? Eye contact is hard. Yeah. For him. Have you had his eyesight checked? Maybe he can't see you. Maybe he's so drunk by noon that he doesn't know which Eugenia to look at. I love you. I love you. I mean, yeah. Well,

Well, is Sean aware of my tomfoolery? Has he ever listened to the podcast or anything? He has. Yeah, he went back to you through me. I brought you back to him and he also is a huge fan. That's nice. That's important for me to know. Yeah, respect. Because if he's not a fan, I'm not going to help him.

You know? No. I mean, he can always pretend, but... Does he know that you're getting advice about your relationship from Conan on here today? He's aware. And he wishes he could be here with me, but... Well... I think he will surprise me. I think, um...

Eugenia, I would like to help you. I really would. And I would like to talk to him because as I say, I know where he's coming from. I used to be, believe it or not, I used to be an uptight Irish guy, but I've changed. I live in Southern California.

And I've done a lot of work on my body. I've read the Kama Sutra. Oh, boy. Oh, God. I didn't know it was the Kama Sutra. I thought it was an in-flight manual. In some ways it is. Yeah, I thought it was what to do in case of a crash. I didn't know why these people were getting together during a plane crash. But anyway, so, but I feel like I could be, and I also would like to get in touch with my,

I think I have an inner Latin side, an inner Spanish side that should come out. I think every, not every, but many Irish Americans do have a Latin, repressed Latin side.

soul in them and when they release them it's like a very interesting experience i will get on camera yeah yeah very good i'll be recording yeah you guys well i did not wish my sensual side to be recorded we did that once and it's doing very well in switzerland um it's uh

It's a film that's, I'm trying to live down, but I performed well. Listen, I want to thank you for talking to us and I want to wish you and Sean the best. Thank you so much. What'd you say? I'm just so defeated. Well, I just looked over at Sona and this is what she was doing.

Wait, what's wrong with you? What do you mean what's wrong with me? Why are you defeated? I just don't want to hear so much about your sexual prowess. And I think that it's kind of sad that you're saying so much. I'm only talking about it so much because, you know, of my failings. Yeah, but you... Oh, wait, that is sad. That is sad. Yeah, you get very squeamish when women talk about certain parts of their bodies. And you're going to go teach this guy about how to be more sexual. It's just...

Well, Sona, you're a little bit Sona's a little extreme. She talks about things that normal people don't talk about. She's very graphic. And I don't think I don't get that sense from Eugenia Fernandez de los Ronderos Jimenez. OK, you know what I mean? She's I don't think she's walking around talking about various graphic things. I think she just wants some eye contact and some more a little sensuality from her man. That's all you want. Yes.

Yeah, exactly. And show us again how you're going to hold her. Yeah. I'm going to teach him to hold you like this. Oh, my God. Like a koala. Yeah. I'm giving you a eucalyptus leaf. Ooh. Yeah. Okay. You went, ooh, wasn't that kind of sensual, the eucalyptus leaf? You learned that in Kama Sutra? It's just...

The special Australian edition. Yes. Well, Eugenia, I love talking to you. Congratulations on your upcoming, I love this word, nuptials. And tell Sean that Conan says hey and Conan's going to help him. Thank you so much, Conan. Thank you so much, guys. Nice to meet you all. Bye-bye. See you later. Bye-bye. Adios. Bye. Bye.

Take it away, Jimmy.

Supervising producer, Aaron Blair. Associate talent producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate producers, Sean Doherty and Lisa Byrne. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are down there.

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