Giggling about 2022 fashion trends, cryptic pregnancies, and customer service crushes
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I mean, the day just got away from me. What is up? It's another ungodly hour. I feel like when we're tired, we actually put out some premium content. I feel like we're funnier because we're like stupid. Because we don't care at all what's happening and we won't remember it. How was your week? A bitch is tired. Yeah.

I'm fucking exhausted. But Craig and I are going to Mexico next week and we're very excited. Where? I have no idea. I prematurely just said yes. Good for you. You fucking need a vacation, dude. But can I tell you what I'm most nervous about? Shitting yourself, eating all the Mexican food?

okay i did think about that i was like oh my god don't drink the water don't drink the water but also we're going with like his family because it's like someone in like one of his cousins like birthdays so like the whole family's going and like we're going to mexico so like

I thought like my ass would be out in bathing suits. Oh, I forgot. They think you wear turtlenecks all the time. So stressed. Like they're so wholesome and nice. And like, I don't want to be like, oh, here's our son's whore girlfriend. Do you own a bathing suit that isn't a thong in the back? No, I really don't.

You need to go back on Amazon, boo. You need to get those high-waisted thick. That's what I got. I cover that booty. Guys, I'm going to do a whole Amazon haul for just non-slutty bathing suits that you can wear with family members. I feel like people would appreciate it. That's very important because the bathing suits out right now are like rap music videos. And it's like not everyone's trying to have sex on the beach when they go to the beach.

It's literally dental floss. I do have to say I am completely biased, but I'm going to make a statement. We've been traveling and meeting gigglers, right? The gigglers are all so funny, smart, beautiful, and successful. No, they have like legitimate jobs. And I'm like, why would you ever listen to us and our

How many times do you walk down the street and you see a bunch of girls who are cooler than you?

I was walking with Des in my sweats and there were like three girls just dressed to the nine looking gorgeous like kind of people I'm like oh I wish I was friends with them and they walk by and they go we love Giggly Squad and I'm just like Des I'm telling you the coolest girls in the city are Giggly Squad and they always are beautiful they really are like sometimes I see their outfits and I'm like where did you get that no like they'll take like our like

are like allegedly outfit and make it like cool it like they're just cooler than us and yeah they are from these live shows we've realized they have much better taste in men than we do i i actually would like to listen to their podcast they respect themselves i'm like wait a second oh my god okay also speaking of tiktok

Giggly Squad has just launched our first TikTok. Follow us, Giggly Squad, on TikTok. Also follow Paige DeSorbo being Burns. But I saw something on TikTok that I...

Stop obsessing over your pimple. I'm sorry. I'm obsessing over it. Do you want to go put something on it right now? No. But like, you know, when you like feel it coming, it's like one under the skin. It's like one of those cyst ones. Yeah. And I only get these when I'm really fucking stressed. Yeah. It's going to hang for like three weeks. She's going to be your new best friend. Oh my God. So on TikTok,

A girl posts a video being like, I'm in the hospital. I was feeling pain. And then it cut to a baby popped out. Have you heard of this thing called cryptic pregnancies? What the fuck? No, but I keep getting a random pain in my stomach. It's a fake baby in here. Or like, did I just eat too much cheese again? When I say everyone is shaking, people are shaking because there's a thing called cryptic pregnancy where it doesn't show.

Like she showed all her months and she said she was like bleeding too. Like she had her period. And then you just have a baby one day. Could you imagine? Could you imagine the mind fuck that would ensue? I would go into shock. And like adorable, healthy baby. I'd be like, I thought I had to fart. And now I have a full mini human.

Could you imagine like after the initial shock of like, okay, I just had a baby that then you have to go home and you're like, cool, I have nothing for you here. Like, do you want a beer? Can you talk? Hold on. I have to read one baby book. One sec. Oh my God. I would freak out. I would immediately give it to my mom. Yeah.

I'd be like, help? I didn't know this was happening. Oh my God. My mom is like retired and so ready to take care of my future on board baby. She's so ready. Oh yeah. I feel like my mom is at that point too. Yeah. Right? Yeah.

I'll joke with Des and Des is like, you're a baby. You're a baby. And I go, my mom is amazing. Like my mom, you don't understand the level of parenting. Have you seen that TikTok where it's the mom being like, you have to listen to me when I tell you something. And the girl's like, but I'm a baby. Like, I'm just a baby. And so he keeps saying that to Craig, like when he says anything. But I'm a baby. I'm like, but I'm a baby.

I don't know. I'm a baby. Yeah, people. I made a TikTok about health insurance where, you know, when you turn 26, suddenly they're like, you need a deductible and a premium. And you're like, baby. No, I still don't really understand how that works. Well, I'm going to say something that's going to ruin your day. My insurance company, I went back. I had to go back on my own insurance. Oscar, shout out. Because I lost the job that was giving me a loan.

Right, right, right. Fun. And then I was like, just put me on the old one. They were like, got you. And then I was checking my bills and I realized that I was getting charged $600 a month for health insurance when before it was only $150. So my Karen came out and I was like, I'm about to talk to a manager and get this fixed real quick. And I was like super cocky about it. I was like, hello. You like call and you just press 000 and you're like, talk to a representative, please. I need a hand.

a human i'm not talking to no robot about this no so i basically was like there's been a misunderstanding and it's okay it's a we're gonna take we're gonna figure it out right now i've been overcharged the last three months and the guy's like oh we're so sorry about that let me look into this and he goes when's your birthday and i was like august 12th 1991 and he's like yeah when you turn 30 it um goes up and i was like five hundred dollars

And are you more likely to die? That's like how they do it. Like once you turn 30, it's like you're in a different section. And I'm sitting there and it was so awkward because he's like, so you're 30. And I was like, yep. And he was like, yep. And then we just kind of stayed on the phone for a second. And I was like, I'm like, OK, I'm going to go just cry myself to sleep. Thank you, sir. Do you ever get on the phone with like a representative from somewhere and like kind of fall in love with them?

Literally every day. Well, I feel like you either hate them, like you're either like, we're enemies, like we are sworn enemies and we are not vibing. You hate me, I hate you, let's just get this conversation over. Or you're like...

is this how I found my soulmate? Yeah. I'm like, okay. Because the one time on the, Oh, this is a tip on the back of your insurance card. You can call there like online, like pretty much every insurance has it now. They're like online portal for, of like doctors. So like, so the one night it was like 11 and I'm pretty sure it's like open 24 hours. Did you fall in love with Jake from State Farm? Oh God, no.

I was like, I'm getting a UTI and like, I can't wait until the morning to like go to city MD and like get a prescription. And so my mom was like, just call the back of your insurance. I bet they'll just send in a prescription. So I call this man and

And he's like, hey, I just want to let you know you can call me anytime and I will send through this prescription because clearly you just get avid UTIs. You know what it feels like. You know how you're feeling. And I was like, you're right. I do know how I'm feeling. And I would never tell you as a man how your uterus feels. And he was like, and I would never make you go and stand in line at any.

At a what is it like an urgent care you call me I will send this prescription immediately and it'll get there and it was literally I got the text that CVS was like we're working on your prescription like as I was on the phone with him and he was like I got you page and I was like.

are you single like what's going on here this is a new show of like love is blind with customer service representatives you just call different customer service and you're like so and you ever have those times where they're like what do you do and i'm like i have this podcast my friend

and they're like i'm gonna check that out and i was like you do that people go what do you do because the second you say it then they know like everything about you they're like why did season two you say that to that person i'm like don't look into it it's fine we're fine um yeah that is so fucking funny i recently yeah also you can tell when they're like a young guy

yeah you can it's it's like the airport when like there's one other young guy and you're like okay the sexual tension's through the room you're like we would have sex probably um i actually refinery 29 do you ever read refinery 29 i used to read it all the time and then not gonna lie i forgot they existed i thought you're gonna say i forgot how to read but um they they hit me up about

the 2022 style trends and I was like okay I need to run it all by page so they're saying this is what they think is gonna be in okay first off face masks what Balenciaga has like this leather face mask that Kim Kardashian wore and they think that people are gonna start wearing face masks in the winter and like the balaclavas are in

I mean, have we not been wearing face masks for three years? True. No, true, true, true. I mean, like the not face masks, like the full ski masks. Yes. Yes. I don't know. I don't know because I don't know about that one. I don't know. OK. Astronaut couture. Like everyone's loving the moon boots and shit.

Okay, I could see that. Like I, except whenever, literally this jacket right here, whenever I wear like something metallic, Craig just like immediately is like, oh, you look like a microwave. And like, think of something else. Think of something better. I hate to say this, but I feel like if Craig doesn't like it, it's probably good fashion. Absolutely. 100%. Spot on. If your boyfriend is like, why are you wearing that? It means the girls are going to love it.

The other day I was like, he was like, you know what I love when girls wear? And I was like, what? And he literally said like hip huggers.

What the fuck is a hip hugger? Like a low rise jean. No, no, no, no, no, honey. Craig never came out of like 2005. I was like, I am almost 30. If you think I'm wearing a low rise jean, you're out of your damn mind. You have no flexibility to bloat even slightly or like your stomach goes over it. You can't even sit. Do you like a muscle? You can't sit down. No, you can't sit. Thank

- Thank you. - I'm like, we're just gonna revert women back to like the 1800s where we just can't sit. - You know how tired our legs are gonna be? How are we gonna take over the patriarchy when we've been standing all day and we're exhausted? - I was like, get out of my face. You wear flip flops and jeans.

Leave me alone. They're saying branding is back. So, you know, like Gucci and Fendi and Skins. Oh, like wearing like a bunch of brands. It's just like having a shirt that has like Balenciaga all over it type of thing. You can get that in Chinatown, guys. Tell me your dad's a lawyer without telling me your dad's a lawyer. Yeah, we do like a Giggly Squad like field trip to just get all fake designer clothes. Yeah.

I've been like, I just got a fake Prada and they're like, you're not supposed to tell people that it's fake. And I was like, no, but I want to normalize it. Let's normalize cutting down the fashion industry. No, I got a guy to shut up. He was like, I would never wear something fake. And I was like, okay, so I could pay $3,000 for a Prada bag.

Or I could pay $60 and invest the rest of the money. Because that was finance bro terminology. Yeah. And he was like. You were like in cryptocurrency. In cryptocurrency and my bit chain. Okay. This is now a finance pod. Okay. Apparently watches are back, which honestly. Apparently.

apparently okay i said that to my mom apparently and she goes apparently and i was like you're a real og i've literally been noticing now every time says every time craig says apparently in the sentence because it's like word vomit i can't not say apparently

look this is the thing i don't know watches like we have the time i guess if you like that aesthetic i just i don't know i feel like an old man when i wear a watch i've actually never been like a bracelet person i can't i can't keep them on because i'm like okay get off my like body yeah unless it's a hair tie i don't really care to have anything around my my dainty little wrists i like to show my curves

I have a problem with this next one. It's called, they named it triple threat because there's like all these mini bags and stuff. They're now saying that you should wear two to three bags.

That is the most chaotic energy I've ever heard. See you in small claims court. I can't remember one bag. How am I supposed to know where my keys are when you're drunk and I have three bags on me? They're literally setting us up for drunk failure. Like, you think that we...

these bitches out here are gonna remember three bags at the bar remember college when you'd end the night and you're like i don't know how i did this but somehow i've managed to lose my phone my wallet and my keys at different times or like the nights you wake up and it's like laying on the floor and you feel like the most accomplished person in the world like you just solved world hunger yeah when you wake up and your wallet's next to you and you're like and you're like come at me god

I'm the backbone of this family. Like, should I play the lotto? Because shit is in my favor. Also, bigger bags are going to be really in for the fall. Like oversized bags are coming back in. I would say your mini bags, you're going to be retiring. Maybe that's why mini bags are trying to hold on. They're like, have a big bag and a mini bag. But this is the problem with mini bags. Besides my keys, my phone is just hanging out of it. And it just falls out all the time.

Sorry, I just realized I'm getting like a massive pimple right on the side of my nose. Oh, shoot. Are you going to put something on it? Yeah, literally right when we get off this pod, I'm going to have to do a deep cleansing. Okay, this is wild. They're saying scammer style is in. What does that even mean? We're often told to dress for the job we want. Some people take it more seriously than others. For Make Believe Socialite, Anna Delvey and Elizabeth Holmes, their uniforms were much of their... Are they telling us to dress...

like scammers i don't really get what that means like big sunglasses i guess like black turtlenecks and thick sunglasses okay i dress like a spy every day so okay okay then they say main character gloves i'm kind of i don't think i would do it but you know how like the long gloves are in like i think for my wedding i might wear gloves it's because yeah

I would love if you did a glove moment at your wedding. I think I'm going to do a glove moment for my wedding because it'll be on the beach and kind of windy. So it's like instead of wearing a sleeve, I have a glove, a long glove. I love that. I love that. I'm just worried that the fingers are not going to fit my little nubs.

But that's, I digress. That's neither here nor there. Oh, they're saying celeb beauty entrepreneurs actually being legit. Like Halsey, Lady Gaga. And this is my question because someone was like, can celebrities stop doing skincare? Because no one believes you're actually using that product. And like, can you leave it to people who actually, I don't know. What's your opinion on it?

I think that like it sells because these like celebrities are the face of it. But I don't believe that like Halsey's in the lab, you know, mixing up some things. But I'm sure there's like actual doctors and dermatologists doing it. They're just using her face to sell it, which I'm all I'm here for. Yeah. I mean, Halsey's line is is cool branding and like the stuff is potent.

And I will say Selena Gomez's makeup line, I actually fuck with heavy. Like her lipsticks are amazing. Yeah. Okay, men having manicures is going to be in. Like Machine Gun Kelly, Harry Styles. Okay. Tyler, the creator. I used to be very against this and I was like, I'm not dating a guy that paints their nails. Craig painted all of his nails the other day. What color? His favorite color, turquoise. Duh.

the fact he has a favorite color is so adorable and boy the other day he actually got mad at me the other day because he was like do you even know my favorite color and i just went with like the generic boy i was like duh blue and he was like but what shade page what hue okay so did you think it was like hot when he was wearing i actually really liked it

And I was like, this is so not me. I'm not trying to project, but I feel like guys who have nail polish on are freaky in bed. Yes. I agree. I literally agree. When you see guys fucking with their nail polish, you're like, he thinks outside the box, you know? Yes, he does not color in the lines. He doesn't color in the lines. The crayons. Yeah. Diamonds on teeth.

I love it. I wanted to do it the other day and everyone was like, no Paige, you're going to be 30. You can't put diamonds on your teeth. And I was like, I'm gonna. Kourtney Kardashian does. I think I'm going to do it for your bachelorette.

Wait, we all have to do it for the bachelorette. Yeah, because you can buy these kits that like they just send you like this LED light. So you like put the glue on, you put it on your tooth and then you put like the LED light on it to like glue it. It only it lasts for like a couple of days. So like perfect. When we're getting our liquid IV, like our transfusion, we'll do it.

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LinkedIn, the place to be, to be. It's my favorite time of year. It's summer going into fall. It's the best fashion part of the year. It's my favorite season. And sometimes shifting your summer wardrobe to fall can be a little bit of a challenge. But luckily we have Quince, which offers timeless and high quality items that I absolutely adore. And the best part about it is it's

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That's q-u-i-n-c-e dot com slash giggly to get free shipping and 365 day returns. quince.com slash giggly. I don't know if you guys have noticed from my Instagram stories, but I've basically switched all my loungewear over to Skims. I was obviously obsessed with their bras and underwear, but now I really can't get enough of their soft lounge collection. I have their soft lounge tank with

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I've pretty much cleared out all my lounge sets after I moved. I just like got rid of everything. I was like, I don't need all of these random sweatpants and sweatshirts and really replaced everything with skims because I know it's always going to look good and I know it always feels amazing. And you know how much I love laying in bed. So if I have an outfit that I can lay in bed in and also run errands in, then I'm a true fan.

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Actually, I'm so happy you brought up my bachelorette. I've been waiting for four episodes. Let's decide what are the styles for the two days because going out, I feel like it's fun to have a little theme, but you know me, I don't like a too aggressive theme. I'm liking feathers and I'm liking disco cowboy. Okay.

I think the disco cowboy should be for the boat day. But this is my question. If we're on the boat doing disco cowboy and then we go to dinner, how does that work? Do you just roll in like disco cowgirl from the boat?

Yeah, I think we just like tell people to make a change of clothes for the club. I think we just say bring a change of clothes like you throw on like a denim short your cowgirl hat and something like metallic. I guess I have to factor in like we're going to be too drunk to care. I plan on not remembering the whole weekend like I plan on waking up on Sunday and being like did we do it?

look, Monday's a holiday. And my friend was like, why don't you go into Monday? And I'm like, cause I can't. Cause I literally can't make it. What is the holiday? It's Easter. Easter Sunday. Oh my God. Oh my God. My mom is going to be so mad. I'm missing Easter. But like, no, but you'll be back in time. We're like going back on Sunday. You think I'm getting on a plane Sunday morning and taking it all the way to Albany? Get out of here. I'm not even going to know my name.

Jesus is going to be pissed. You have to like connect flights going from Miami to Albany. So like I don't have the time or the patience. No. After that weekend. No. I'm going right to New York City and hiding for a week.

I'm very excited for this weekend, but I do just want to make sure that I run the fashion by you because I don't want to get attacked on Instagram. Did you run this by Paige? Did Paige tell you you could wear this? Because she clearly didn't. I post a stand-up clip on TikTok. All the comments are about my outfit. It's so funny that you get that because half of my DMs are like, you don't know how to dress. Stop acting like you have style. And I'm like, but Hannah's followers say that I do. My followers?

love you my followers it's a i have a page stan account my followers okay but page can we can you set the record straight do you think i have any sense of style i'm actually going to tell you a story okay this feels like it's going badly already no the other day you posted an outfit on your stand-up and i saw it and i literally said oh

Sierra, did you see Hannah's story? And she was like, no, why? And I was like, she looks so good. I literally felt like the devil wears products. I was like, who put this together for you? Like, did you, who did this? It was like a see-through black top, a mesh top. And a trouser. A trouser, yeah. I love you in a trouser. I love me in a trouser too. I don't like my ass out all the time. Because also there's trousers though that like,

fit in the right way in your butt that like it makes your butt look good but you love comfort and trousers are I can breathe my vagina lips just can breathe you can just throw a sneaker on for fun I posted a tiktok yesterday being like just two thick girls and I showed like my butt in a bell bottom jean and then butter just like out looking thick and juicy as she does and I got ripped apart by I guess like thick

And they were like, this girl is not thick. This girl thinks she's thick. And I was like, guys, it's a joke. But like, no, you're not allowed to be anything these days. You can't like say that you're thick. You can't say that you're skinny. No.

I'm sick and juicy. People think that clothes only look good on me because I'm skinny. And then like half the other people are like, we see that you've gained 15 pounds. Oh, so like, are you going to take care of it? What a toxic environment. Side note, the world, New York City is very small. And I've been doing stand up at this place, the stand that you need to start hanging out. I know. Because this whole weekend.

Dave Chappelle, Chris Rock, and Aziz Ansari have been doing sex. I fucking love Aziz Ansari. He needs to come out with another special. A new special. He just came out with one. He did? When? It's like about quarantine stuff. Maybe I did see that one. I'm sick of that storyline now.

yeah true but i i would do my sets until like 10 and then chappelle comes and they like have this whole party until like fucking 5 a.m and you know i'm not like trying to do that so i was like okay i'm gonna tell page you're like my insurance just went up i'm out i could possibly die i can't do this shit i am an old bitch and that's what he told me on the phone in so many words like 600 a month i'm going to bed so pete davidson was there last week this week

Channing Tatum and Zoe Kravitz showed up to the after party. Oh my God. Did you see them? No, everyone just told me. Um, but I want to know from you. Yeah. I forgot. One of my celebrity crushes is also Robert Pattinson. It is. He has a good personality. I know he's like,

Like, no, like how do you, Oh, how do you know that? He's British funny. Like I've watched, you've watched interviews, interviews, he's British and like whatever I was, I'm into him. Okay. And I'm watching Zoe Kravitz doing a promo for Batman and it's very intimate and sexy. Um,

It's giving me Lady Gaga, Bradley Cooper vibes. I'm like, it's giving. It's giving. I'm not a jealous person. I was jealous for Channing Tatum. Yes. Does she not have the most perfect face ever?

Yeah, it's it's it's actually it's rude. It's like, OK, so God clearly has favorites and he like he let it be known, you know, like he didn't even try and hide it. When it comes to celebrity, I don't think it's all God that gets their face perfect. No, but I feel like I feel like she came out like that.

I did see a post of a before and after, but I digress. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. We digress. We don't have time for it. I'm just trying to, you know, Hannah and her rants, you know, Hannah and her plastic surgery. You're not ugly. You're just poor. And I mean it. I mean it when I say it. And I'm not saying she was ugly ever, but I'm saying she like Megan Fox did where like, she's gorgeous. And then like, now you're like super gorgeous. Okay. That makes me feel better. That's a great comparison. Yeah.

Yeah, she Megan Fox did. Okay. Like no one was saying you were ugly and then got plastic surgery. We're saying you're gorgeous. And then you were like, it wasn't enough. And you had to be like, I'm the most gorgeous person in the world. And whatever you need to do. Megan Fox didn't have to do that to us. No, but it also is like, I'm not going to get into it. I'm not getting into it. I don't have time. Okay. I don't have time for this. Also, apparently, I don't like it.

Zoe Kravitz said she was drinking milk like a cat to prepare for her role as Catwoman. But I might have pulled that from a bad source. Hannah Burner. Hannah Burner. That's a legend. Let me Google that. I feel like you were like, and I should be an actress, I think. Okay. PureWow, Uproxx, and Esquire said Zoe Kravitz drank milk like a cat to prepare for Batman. I'm just... I... Look.

I method acting, you know, method acting. I, I feel like they're just pulling this on us. They're pulling our leg. This. Have you ever drank like a cat? That's just kind of fun. I actually was at Starbucks literally yesterday and they were like out of oat milk. And she was like, but I've got coconut milk. I've got soy milk. I've got almond milk. Like I was waiting for her to be like, I've got pickle milk. Like she just had all the milks.

And I was like, here's something crazy. I might just get cow milk. And she was just like, okay. Okay. Like she hadn't seen it. Now it's like retro. You're like, okay, vibes. She's like, okay, I love this vibe. Like, okay, do it. And I was like, I'm going to do it. Because I like...

I'm always like, oh, my God, no, I must have oat milk when I really just ate a pound of Parmesan cheese. I'm like, what am I counteracting? That's the TikTok where it goes, people try to understand me, but they never will. No, literally, like it makes zero sense.

If you try to understand me, you'll be exhausted. I actually feel like hot girls all have IBS, right? But we like cope with it where yesterday after my set, I ordered a full pizza for myself and I realized it was super selfish of me and there were all these comics around me and I was like, does anyone want pizza? And one of the guys goes, oh, sorry, I think I'm lactose intolerant. And I looked at him and he looked at me and I was like,

And he just looked at me. He's like, I don't think I do well with dairy. I go, let me, this pizza is going to be in the toilet in 15 minutes. It's going right through me. And I was just like, you need to grow the fuck up. He was like, I take care of my body. And you were like, loser. And then he was watching me just like devour this pizza. And I was like, I don't feel comfortable in this space anymore. You were like, don't you have health insurance? I was like, I'm paying $600. So if my asshole breaks after this, I'm covered. I'm covered.

I went to a doctor. This was like, I mean, two years ago at this point. And I was like, I can't wake up in the morning. You went to a doctor once two years ago.

I was like, I can't wake up in the morning. And when I wake up, I feel like I just did arms the day before. Like my arms are so sore and like I'm so tired. And I was like, and it doesn't matter what time I go to sleep. Like I sleep great at night. And I just like in the morning, I'm so tired. And he was like, did all these tests and whatever. And he was like,

you're not gluten intolerant and you're not lactose intolerant but you are right there like they wouldn't classify you as that but you're right there and he was like so when you eat he was like the worst thing you could ever eat is pizza and i looked at him like like he had just told me that your dog died yeah that like my you don't really care about your dog but like something you cared about

So I was like so offended. And he was like, so when you want to eat those things, you have to prepare to have a day of rest the next day. He was like, so I recommend like eating it on like a Saturday night when you know you can like hang out on a Sunday. Wait, I love that so much. I'm going to start telling that to Des when he's like, why are you on the couch still? And be like, it's my day of rest. No.

I was like, sir, I eat this shit every single day. And he was like, you need to cut back on it. And I was like, you'll be hearing from my lawyer. Goodbye. You're already putting your stuff back into your fucking wallet and phone and keys. Oh, get me out of here.

Wait, I have a question. Why does it hurt your arms and stuff? Do you think? I don't know. I wake up. We didn't even get to that. My legs feel like I've been running a marathon. I think it's anxiety. Your muscles get like fatigued because like it's like they're working overtime because you just put something in your body that like they're not down with.

So are we just like Olympic athletes? Because I mean, I rather have a much. I rather have a cryptic baby than like stop eating pizza. Hiccup to write. Yeah. Also, Megan Fox. I do farm agents out. Megan Fox got a with a bangle named Whiskey, a bangle kitten named Whiskey. Oh, cute.

So like, I don't know what happened. You feel connected to her. I've been investing four years of my social media content into trying to make cats cool and get rid of the crazy cat lady stereotype. I do have one front page news story. Kaya Gerber and Austin Butler have like really been dating. Do you know who Austin Butler is? Yes. He's the guy who is playing Elvis.

Yes, he is. And he dated Vanessa Hutchins for like years. Yeah. Yeah. And then they randomly broke up. Everyone was like so confused by it. But I like him and Kaya together. I think they look aesthetically. I don't mean obviously I don't know either of them, but aesthetically I really do enjoy it. I get Kaya Gerber confused with Olivia Jade and I hate that I said that out loud, but it happens to me. Well, they look very similar. And they both have famous parents. Very true.

But only one of them was in a scandal. Yeah. One of them pretended to. One of them went away. So that's how you say it in Italian. They went away. They're coming back soon. They're in Tulum. Don't worry about it. Don't ask any more questions. Oh, yeah. Someone was on TikTok saying if, you know, Selena could get over Justin, like,

and um vanessa hudgens can get over zach efron like you could get over that fucking squirt you're fucking with and i'm like let's stop with that i hate when people are like guys will cheat on beyonce of course they'll cheat on you and it's like just stop i agree with that famous guys are monsters most of the time like they're the worst people to date what i just took from that sentence was i am most definitely going to start calling more people squirt get over here squirt

Like Craig's new name now is Squirt. I'm literally changing it in my phone. Our two favorite nicknames, Punk and Squirt. But yeah, like honestly, dating a celebrity is actually like so much worse sometimes. I feel like it's way worse. I mean, what is Josh and HR going to do to you that is like that much worse than Brad Pitt fucking Angelina Jolie on the set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith?

You know, I think that like what Josh does to you is going to be fine. These women are like, I wish I could date Josh from HR. I just don't know where he is or how to go in one of these offices. Oh, my God. Yeah. Sometimes just a nice, normal man. And then they like they really are impressed by you. It's like the stuff you're doing is wild. We're like you're doing another famous guy is like, yeah, I'm doing an arena tour. Like, good job. You published a book. I could never date like a Harry Styles person.

Like level famous. I mean, I don't think anyone actually enjoys that level of fame.

You'd have to be that equal level of fame because you just wouldn't get it. Like I wouldn't get that there were thousands of 13 year old girls yelling for my man. I'd be like, he's an idiot. Have you ever seen him at home? Well, that's the thing. You're not dating Justin Bieber. You're not dating Harry Styles. You're not dating their personas. You're dating who they are day to day and no one knows what they're like. So let's stop fucking judging based on the music video you saw of people.

Right. Like he just he ate a watermelon one time, guys. Get over it. It was hot. Speaking of men, can I do a mental health moment? I have a lot of great notes today. OK. Someone's blew my fucking mind on TikTok. OK. I've been spending too much time on TikTok. That's the mental health moment. Number one. Number two, how if you're obsessing about something, if it's an ex, if it's something that's bothering you.

It's actually your mind just trying to make sense of trauma. You're not in love with them. Your mind is trying to comprehend trauma. Oh, because you know what those like you'll obsess over a guy who rejected you or something or your ex and you're just like, I'm in love with him. And it's like, no, no, no, no, no. I'm going to actually I don't know who needs to hear this, but we only obsess over people that make us feel unsafe. That obsession gives us a false sense of control.

And it's all probably a trauma response. That's from at hello a m b e r b. Wait. Oh my God. That makes so much sense because any breakup that I've gone through where the guy was actually a really good guy. I didn't even cry. Yeah. And any breakup where the guy was a piece of shit and I should have never even dated. Yeah.

I'm like, I'm never going to find someone. And that's why like the guys, the three week things that don't make sense, like sometimes are the most traumatic because so traumatic it's. And so when you're obsessing, don't make it be like, oh, my God, I'm so in love with this guy. It's like, no, you felt unsafe in that. And you're trying to gain control by trying to relive it all in your brain. And it's like this is just a trauma response and you're going to be good girl. You don't want him.

Oh my God. I love that. Wow. I feel like, I feel like I was going to go out and say that was for me. Like they, if they didn't make you feel safe, they're not your fucking person.

I will say, though, after 25, I stopped fucking with guys that I ever even thought would potentially cheat on me. Like, it's just not a vibe that my body can handle anymore. Or I would fuck with them, but know I'd never date them. Like, I would never even go there with my brain of me, like, committing myself to him when I know he would never commit himself to me. Yeah, like, it's just cheating is something that I was just, like...

once I hit 25, I was like, yep, and I'm not, no, I'm not doing this ever again. Like, this is not

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once someone wise told me if someone's gonna cheat on you that's them yeah because you could be in a relationship and be like i need to do this i hope it doesn't cheat on me i hope it doesn't cheat on me that's he's gonna cheat on you regardless and it's probably gonna be with someone gross yeah you know yeah you don't no one's safe

No one's safe. And like, I know that I give off second wife energy and I love that about myself.

And I know that Des has a fake family in Ireland. So like you technically are a mistress. I feel like I'm the new hot young wife. And like he tells me about his kids and I'm like, I don't care. Hannah texted me the other day. Hannah texted me the other day and was like, Des has a second phone for Ireland. And it's like he's not even hiding it at this point. And like I.

And I've never laughed so hard Wait I have to pull up this text conversation You texted me your husband is so nice I'm so happy for you guys And I go lol what did he do And you go ask me to marry him And I'm like join the polyamorous cult And then you said oh he sent me a really nice DM And I go also love how you refer to him as my husband While he's with his second family in Ireland right now Makes sense he would be sucking up to you

And you go, I told him to send my love to all four of his children. And I said, he has two phones, one for America and one for Ireland. And I was like, wow, you're not even trying to hide it at this point. And you go, Betty owns pets with this bitch too. And I go, if she's blonde, I'm going to be pissed. And you go, no, I'd lose it. Then he called me later and I was like, hey. Mad at him. He has this like Irish phone, which at first I was like, oh, businessy. Cool. And then I was like.

Most girls when they start dating like a guy who's kind of famous makes them change his phone number. Really? That's what someone did to Jay Cutler. Oh my god I should make Craig change his number. Because then it's like the people who really matter in your life. It's so funny it's so funny sometimes like Craig's phone will be on like the counter and it'll be like going off and he'll be like in the shower and like I never think to look in it but like sometimes I'm like hmm

i wonder what's going on in there but like you get to a point where you're like you know what if you're having fun i just go like i'm tired if you want to go you can go i love how you're like i would never let a man cheat i mean you're like honestly if he has multiple relationships with instagram models it's like cool do whatever you need to get off but um like i'll be napping

That's the thing. Guys who do that shit, I feel like a lot of them have some form of, like, sex addiction where it's, like, they can't help. It's, like, a real crazy need because the only person that can find the time to do that shit is an addict. Right.

Like my boyfriend just wakes me up in the middle of the night and I'm like, you have the most nerve I've ever seen in my life. But like, let's get this gone. Tristan Thompson, you don't move around your entire schedule just for like a quick fuck unless it's like a fucking drug. How about Kanye and Tristan out on a double date? Wait, I didn't see that. They were like, I think they were in Miami and they were both out on a double date. And Kanye was basically with like the Kim lookalike.

Which is, is this some weird form of like meta art he's doing? Is this an NFT? Like what's going on? I mean, I would just love to know the conversation that was being had between the two of them. Did you try the pesto? I also saw this thing where like at Starbucks, they had a tip jar and one tip jar said Kanye West and one tip jar said Pete Davidson. Yeah.

Dude, dude. But I feel like with Pete and Kim, like his craze, the craziness of Kanye is either going to break them or like get them so close. But I feel like Pete, he's very he's he's taking it all like with sense of humor. Yeah, he's doing it all the right way.

Absolutely. This reminds me, I did finish the Kanye doc. Oh, you did? The last episode's pretty chaotic and it starts to show his unraveling. How many episodes is that? It's three. Okay. And also, yeah, guys, we're not like, when we talk about it, I'm talking about it based on a journalistic perspective. Oh, absolutely. We're not promoting anything Kanye does. Oh, of course. We're high-class journalists here. We're high-class journalists here.

Also, did you see Pam Anderson? The gigglers were sending this to me. Did we not call it? Did we not call it? We did. We did. I mean, we manifested this for her. I need this for her. She needs redemption. We want to hear your story because your story is fucking amazing. And I'm interested to see how it's different from. I want her to stop bringing back thin eyebrows. But I digress. We digress. Yeah. We're not going to put all the blame on her, but.

I just finished Love is Blind. Was it good? This season was out of this world. Epic. Really? So good. The reunion. Ooh, ooh, ooh. Nick Lachey and Vanessa. They do act a little bit like cast members, though, because, like, Vanessa is, like, basically like, fuck you. I mean, she doesn't say that, but, like...

they show themselves in the very beginning and then i'm like why are these people even on it but then i was seeing online people being like bring back more vanessa and nick well they created it i think it was like their idea oh my god also i watched the neighbor next door which is incredible it's about like different neighbors that try to ruin your life there was like an old grandma who was a con man slash serial killer it's so fucking good um

Guys, we love you so much. Thank you for giggling with us. You are the bestest. Follow us on TikTok. We're going to be announcing new shows, possibly New York soon. And we love you. Bye.